- 11 hours ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Previously on Shortland Street. Oh my god, get off! You let him walk you home. You think that you're better
00:05than him
00:05When in actual fact, you're exactly the same. Can you please tell me where I can find you?
00:09You can check in with Triage. They'll help you find whoever you had a visit. Poppy, this is Dr. Crane.
00:13She is very disappointed.
00:15Excuse me? And your new boss.
00:22Oh god, I'm such an idiot. I've got my lunch.
00:27Well, I thought for a second there you located your moral compass.
00:31Excuse me?
00:32An apology wouldn't go a misbelief.
00:34No, it wouldn't.
00:35Morning guys.
00:37Hi.
00:40Don't mind him, he just forgot his lunch.
00:42Someone's told him there's a cafe, right?
00:45Oh, you two okay?
00:46Yeah, just a car crash of a date that really drove a truck into.
00:51May I recommend swearing off the entire concept of romance?
00:54Have you got no hoodies on your radar?
00:57Does my scrub on me count?
00:58Hell no.
01:00Well, she's the only one getting any action in my house.
01:03Good for her.
01:08Okay, you've got this.
01:10You're an incredible doctor with a fighting spirit and an incredible head of hair.
01:14Are you giving me a pep talk?
01:16No.
01:18Yes, maybe.
01:19I do not need a pep talk, Sage.
01:21I just thought after you got your ass handed to you-
01:22It was one bad day.
01:24All right, my knowledge of this place still runs laps around her.
01:28Case in point.
01:29I think bumping into the crash cart does not help your point.
01:32The crash cart does not live here.
01:34The crash cart lives over there.
01:36Yeah, nah.
01:36He has way better.
01:38Kane's a genius straight up.
01:39She's not wrong.
01:40I was just saying that.
01:41Hey, uh, Cody.
01:42Sage.
01:44I just wanted to, um, apologize about going M.A.A.
01:47The whole Emmett thing really took my last two brain cells.
01:50No apologies needed.
01:51Like you said, it's just casual, right?
01:54Yeah.
01:55Casual.
01:57So totally casual.
02:02So, Marley, uh, what do teachers even do on teacher only days?
02:06Did you even go to school?
02:08Steady.
02:11Oh, I'm sorry, I should get this.
02:14Uh, kids, what do we all want to drink?
02:18You're allowed coffee?
02:19Yeah, Dad lets me.
02:21Okay.
02:22Um, what he said, plus a hot chocolate and two flat whites.
02:26Marley?
02:27Large cola.
02:29You heard the name.
02:32So who's excited for the zoo?
02:34The zoo's lame.
02:35No, it would be so fun to even have yellow-lipped sea crates.
02:40It's a snake.
02:42The sky's scared of snakes.
02:45So then, Marley, what's your favorite animal?
02:48Dolly!
02:52Nice of you to finally join us.
02:54Uh, yeah, not for long.
02:56We have a meeting with De Groot and De Groot.
02:59De who?
03:00They're a pharmaceutical company based in Netherlands.
03:03Drew, that's incredible.
03:04Yeah, um, what about our plants?
03:07Oh, they can wait.
03:10You're the best.
03:12Uh, right, better call the nanny.
03:15Uh, maybe I could look after them.
03:17That'd be amazing.
03:19Yeah, it'd be so fun.
03:26You'll be fine.
03:30Then you winked at me.
03:31Gross.
03:32But it wasn't like a weird wink.
03:33It was like a, like a sexy wink.
03:35Okay, I'm just gonna check your vitals.
03:37But that's a good sign, right?
03:39Weren't you the one who instigated the whole casual thing?
03:42Hm.
03:42So?
03:43So you know he likes you.
03:45So?
03:47So why are you yearning like a jilted hero in a 19th century romance novel?
03:51Oh, because I love to yearn.
03:52Yearning is the blood of my veins, the cloth of my loins, the fire of my, you know, doctor.
03:58Nurse.
03:59Um, I was just checking this patient's vitals.
04:02No, you were letting Dr. Achari do it for you while you waxed lyrical about your little
04:05crush, which is not tolerated in my ED.
04:08Well.
04:09And that shouldn't be there.
04:12Did you see that?
04:14Hey, have you met the new Emmett yet?
04:16Oh, that's actually why I'm here.
04:17Well, be warned.
04:18She just hammered me for talking about my thing with Cody, which she clearly had a problem with.
04:22Probably, because she doesn't want you gossiping at work.
04:24Well, that's what I thought.
04:25And then she wanted me to take this off.
04:26What, your top?
04:28No, no, my pride badge.
04:30And they'll tell me that doesn't wreak a D-H word.
04:33Leave it with me.
04:35Where'd you go?
04:39Sophia?
04:40Sophia Crane?
04:42Dr. Crane.
04:43And you are?
04:44Maeve Mullins.
04:45D-O-N.
04:46Nice to meet you.
04:47And how may I help?
04:48Do you have a problem with gay people?
04:51The Rex, I like it.
04:53Apparently, you just ordered one of my nurses to remove his pride badge.
04:56That's not technically.
04:57Now, I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, since we've just met.
04:59But, so you're aware, there are a few of us here.
05:02We don't tolerate bigots lately.
05:04Us.
05:05Us.
05:06Don't know.
05:08Is that a threat?
05:10Quite the opposite.
05:12See, like yourself and that nurse, who was busy pining over a colleague instead of doing work.
05:16That same nurse, I might add, who'd placed his badge on the wrong side of his scrubs, as per hospital
05:20regulations.
05:21Like the pair of you, I too am gay.
05:23So, if I were you, I'd rescind my allegations, effective immediately.
05:29Uh, sorry.
05:30Well, no need to apologize for having your nurses back.
05:33So, it might be worth verifying their charges before you throw yourself into the firing line for them.
05:37Right.
05:38Now, would you be interested in showing me around sometime?
05:42It's just I pride myself on my geopolitical knowledge, but in the case of Ferndale, it's all we're lacking.
05:48Uh, sure.
05:49Perhaps we could even sleep together.
05:52I mean, that won't be necessary.
05:54Very well.
05:55Forget I asked.
05:57And Maeve?
05:59Yes?
06:01You can call me Sophia.
06:10Those are staying here.
06:11It's the kids' staff.
06:12Yeah, for when they come up to stay.
06:14Well, if they come up, they can bring this with them.
06:17If?
06:17Oh my god, Marty, just let me do my job.
06:20Your job?
06:22What, are you starting a moving company for ex-couples?
06:24What's the early rate?
06:26No wonder Esther didn't want to come up.
06:27You are impossible.
06:29Now, I'm gonna go run some errands, and when I get back, I'll be packing up the rest of Esther's
06:33stuff and pissing off.
06:35While I'm gone, you better sort out whatever pathetic thing this is.
06:58It is not what it looks like.
07:00And dear, what are you even doing here?
07:02Uh-uh, you first.
07:03I swear to god, I was about to pour it down the drain.
07:05Why do you even have it?
07:07Well, because Libby left it.
07:09I don't know, I don't even know why I kept it.
07:11In case of an emergency, I guess.
07:14Oh, I know that, yeah?
07:17This is work stuff.
07:19It is Shortland Street.
07:21There is always work stuff.
07:25Well, I met the new head of ED today, accused her of being homophobic, and then she asked
07:30me to sleep with her.
07:31Oh, a lot to unpack there.
07:33Mm-hmm.
07:33And I'm in charge of all these new nurses who have less experience than a therapy dog.
07:39Oh, sorry.
07:41Anyway, nothing about me.
07:42How's Wari Ka Tonu?
07:43Pretty great, to be honest.
07:45I forgot how good it feels to hang out with Thānau, touch grass.
07:49Okay, so why are you back?
07:50I'm back to pick up Esther's things.
07:52She doesn't want to see Mardi.
07:55Because he's asleep with Rachel.
07:56He what?
07:57Oh, sorry.
07:58Sorry, I forget you're not plugged into the IV drip of hospital gossip.
08:01Jesus, Mardi.
08:03Does he come to visit you much?
08:05No one visits me much.
08:07Oh, I'm sorry.
08:08Stop, stop, stop saying sorry.
08:10Sorry, sorry, sorry.
08:11I just, I feel bad that I tapped out at a pretty crucial time.
08:16Dear, you have done more than your fair share of saving me.
08:20I know, and you shouldn't be alone, Maeve.
08:25Have you thought about getting a new flatmate?
08:27Yeah, I mean, that went really well.
08:29A flatmate that isn't the infamous Libby Jeffries?
08:32I don't know.
08:33I kind of like my own space.
08:35Same, but if I learn anything from being in Wadi Kitono, it's that having people around is good for the
08:40Wairua.
08:41Are you offering?
08:42Hell no.
08:43Like I said, touching grass.
08:46Well, I guess I could ask Phil.
08:53Okay, last pool, a thousand percentual, you don't want to go to the zoo?
08:56TV, TV, TV.
08:57Shh, please, keep it down.
08:59TV, TV, TV.
09:01You all good with TV, Mali?
09:03Yeah, okay.
09:04I've got popcorn, chippies, lolings, ice cream.
09:07Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.
09:09Good.
09:10Where's Mali?
09:15He's, um...
09:16Mali?
09:17Mali?
09:18Are you in there?
09:19No.
09:22Mali, please unlock the door.
09:25Mali, turn that down.
09:26Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.
09:28Down.
09:29Down.
09:31Mali, I will, um...
09:34Mali, please unlock the door.
09:37Mali, what happened?
09:39I don't know.
09:45So, I'm just keen to hear more about the product's clinical properties.
09:50Yeah, of course.
09:51So, um, the dressing's made using grapeseed extract, which contains phenolic compounds like proantho, cyanide...
09:58What Boyd is trying to say is, we've done the research, but more importantly, we have the branding to cut
10:03right through an already saturated market.
10:05Now, hear me out.
10:08We make an ad featuring a renowned sommelier.
10:11They run through all their favourite wines.
10:13You're Riesling from Germany, uh, Chardonnay from California, the Champagne from Champagne.
10:20And, Selvignon from Aotearoa.
10:23Yeah, yeah.
10:25But they also...
10:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know, Graham Norton.
10:28He always features wine made by a New Zealand company on his show.
10:31Well, how about we get some celeb guest wearing Selvignon?
10:35I mean, hey, the name alone opens up endless opportunities.
10:38Yeah, so, the name...
10:39That was me.
10:41Yeah, we, we hate it.
10:44They're really open to changing it.
10:46Other names that we played with are grape tape, wineskin, GSE dressing.
10:55Oh, yeah, uh, GSE dressing.
10:57I, I like that.
10:58It's, it's less, how do you say, um, it's less wacky.
11:02Yeah, totally hear you.
11:06Okay, once Brian sorts that line out, can you please load it with a thousand mils of saline?
11:10I've got a thousand mils of my own.
11:11I have to unload.
11:12Sorry, no can do my guy.
11:14Oh, please, I have to go.
11:15Yeah, but I really don't want to be in the same vicinity as the guy that I bounced on a
11:19date last week.
11:20Okay, so, you're a nurse, do what you do best and hold it.
11:24Okay, well, if we all refused to work with our awkward romantic entanglements,
11:26this whole place would crumble.
11:28Go.
11:29Love you.
11:30Hate you.
11:32I really don't like needles.
11:34I'm very understandable.
11:35There's a lot of things about hospitals I hate.
11:38See that?
11:41I can't stand them.
11:45All done.
11:46Oh my gosh.
11:48I didn't feel anything.
11:49Thank you so much.
11:51Dr. Achari?
11:52Dr. Crane?
11:54Doesn't that patient belong to you and Nurse Stewart?
11:57Uh, yeah.
11:58And where is he?
12:01Nurse Stewart?
12:03Dr. Achari was just informing me why two other staff have assumed control of your patient.
12:07We had to get a phlebotomist in to help with the line.
12:09She got severely dehydrated after, um, falling asleep, sunning her perineum.
12:17She was getting some vitamin D on her anus.
12:20Won't you have a problem with that?
12:22It's a, um, it's a kind of internet wellness thing.
12:25People think that exposing your perineum to sunlight boosts vitamin D,
12:30but then she fell asleep and she wasn't wearing any sunscreen because she doesn't believe in it.
12:33Be that as it may, Dr. Achari, from now on any requests for specialised personnel come through me.
12:37But, but you are a second year, and as yesterday proved, one that needs supervising.
12:42Of course, Dr. Crane.
12:44Dismiss.
12:47Now, Stewart.
12:49I suggest you talk to your DON about those allegations you directed at me.
12:54She has some information as to why they are definitively incorrect.
12:59For starters, I'm a lesbian.
13:07Excuse me.
13:11Marley, please, I'll give you 20 bucks.
13:14Piss off.
13:15Can you show his name?
13:16Then change it.
13:19Okay, okay, okay, okay. Let's maybe do that away from the TV.
13:23This guy needs to pee.
13:25What's over there?
13:26She knows where the bathroom is. She used to live here.
13:29Billy, can you stop that?
13:32Billy, please, just stop that.
13:38Shoes on. Shoes on. Shoes on.
13:41Okay. Shoes on.
13:43Don't move.
13:44I'm coming.
13:48Hi. I'm here to be the flat.
13:50No, you're not.
13:51Yeah, I am.
13:53Since when?
13:54Since age, did you show myself around?
13:56Oh, can you come back, mate?
14:02Oh, can you see?
14:04Does the flat come with these small children?
14:06Obviously not.
14:08No, don't leave me alone with them.
14:11Cup, cup, cup.
14:13Hello?
14:14Nave, hi.
14:15Um, I'm looking after Jewish kids and they are losing their minds.
14:18How the hell do I get them to shut up?
14:19Well, it's not so easy being a mum, is it?
14:21No, it's actually really hard.
14:22Have you fed them?
14:24Yeah, all kinds of crap.
14:25Any actual food?
14:27Does ice cream count?
14:29No.
14:29So, start by giving them a meal, then, I don't know, treat them to something fun?
14:34Yeah, well, that's what I was trying to do.
14:35Something that doesn't involve a factory of sugar.
14:39Maybe you're genius.
14:43Kids?
14:44I've got a plan.
14:47Graham Norton.
14:48It's genius.
14:50The head of a multi-million dollar pharmaceutical company doesn't want to hear about Graham Norton.
14:55I thought you liked my ideas.
14:56Your ideas just about derailed that entire meeting.
14:59So they want to meet again?
15:00Yes, thanks to Chris.
15:01And they only want to meet to discuss the product's clinical properties,
15:04because every time I tried to talk about them, you cut me off.
15:07Well, I didn't want to bore them.
15:10Bore them.
15:11Drew, this is a medical product.
15:13It's not an episode of Mad Men.
15:15Well, listen, if you don't like my ideas, why'd you even get me on board?
15:18I'm starting to ask myself that question.
15:20You're firing me.
15:22Well, technically, we've both signed a partnership agreement dictating that
15:25neither of us can dissolve the other person's role without unilateral agreement after a six-month period,
15:29but if I could, then maybe I would.
15:31Yeah, well, maybe if it wasn't for that partnership agreement, I would quit.
15:34Well, if we can't quit working together, maybe we should just quit being friends.
15:37Oh, maybe we should.
15:38Great!
15:38Fine!
15:39Bye!
15:45You know, as CEO, I'm sure you could allocate some budget to hiring a personal mule.
15:51Yes, with all that spare cash the New Zealand medical industry has of us leaves.
15:55Could be some Dutch money heading your way soon.
15:58We had an excellent salving our meeting today with De Groot and De Groot.
16:02If they seal the deal, Shorten Street will get a windfall from hosting the clinical trials.
16:06Well, be sure to give my regards to Boyd and Drew.
16:11You always did have a way of putting me in my place.
16:13Do you want a medal, too, for me kindly allowing you to indulge their side hustle?
16:18Well, that's not quite how I remember it.
16:25How do you remember it, Warner?
16:29Well, suddenly my memory's gone fuzzy.
16:34Well, maybe you should get yourself checked for early onset Alzheimer's.
16:45May I?
16:49May, I'm sorry if I implied that you aren't coping.
16:52I just know how hard it can be to balance sobriety in a high-opting job.
16:58Yeah.
16:59Yeah, it is.
17:00To the point I've decided to rescind half of my French rights and get a flatmate.
17:05Oh, well, who's the lucky tenant?
17:07Well, I was going to ask Phil, but I think I've realised she mightn't be the most stable choice.
17:14Well, I could learn.
17:16You?
17:17Yeah, sure.
17:19I'm currently staying in a hotel with a black-and-white stock image of the Eiffel Tower above my bed,
17:23which, frankly, captures neither my aesthetic leanings nor my romantic ones.
17:29Wait, are you sure?
17:31I mean, it wouldn't be...
17:32Weird.
17:34Well, we've shared enough secrets in AA. I'm sure we can handle sharing a fridge.
17:38Okay.
17:39Yeah, okay, that would be great.
17:42Cheers to that.
17:43Cheers.
17:52You're all good, man?
17:53Yeah, I'm fine.
17:55Because if you're stressed, I was just listening to this Joe Rogan hip and there was this meditation guy.
18:00Bro, she's got you this cut up. She's not worth it.
18:03Sorry?
18:04Phil.
18:06What about Phil?
18:07Isn't that why you're spitting the dummy?
18:09Do you have a problem with all women, Billy, or is it just Phil?
18:12Whoa, okay, bro. I'm just trying to help.
18:14Well, then keep her name out your mouth.
18:17All right, I'll send you this Joe Rogan hip so you can deal with your anger management.
18:20I don't want to meditate, Billy.
18:24God, those are two of the most dramatic men I know.
18:27And I was once engaged to a Tony nominee.
18:29Is it just me or is every man in my life either a certified creep or a hot-headed freak?
18:34Or a ghost.
18:35Apparently Emmett's gone to Canada and didn't even have the decency to send me a one-line text.
18:40Ouch.
18:41We'll be home, Selina.
18:43As for you, darling, you'll be fine.
18:45All you need is the opposite of, what did you call them, creeps and freaks?
18:51Hold my beer.
18:53Darling, that's a loose-leaf salon tea.
18:57Hey, um, about that date.
19:02Is Cody getting a run home with you?
19:04Yeah, why?
19:05Want me to chauffeur while you two make out in the back?
19:07Oh, okay, if that's what gets you going.
19:09Hey, no kink shaming here.
19:11Just give me five minutes with him.
19:12That Sergeant Crane's been cop-locking me all day.
19:15Five minutes.
19:22I can...
19:23No, but you don't have to, please.
19:29Long day?
19:31Yeah.
19:32Yeah, the new HOD's a real ball-breaker.
19:34I'm sure that went down well with you.
19:36I'm actually trying a new tactic of winning her over with charm and finesse.
19:41Well, I'd hardly call that a new tactic.
19:46You didn't pick it?
19:47Sage, she's gayer than a carabiner.
19:49Okay, my gay-darnies of service, but hey, dinner tomorrow night, I promise to stop neglecting us.
19:54So there's an us now?
19:56Yeah, there's always been an us.
19:57That's not exactly the impression I got when you laid down the casual law.
20:01Oh, I meant casual in like a casual way.
20:04Meaning?
20:06Meaning what does casual even mean?
20:08It means that you don't want to make any commitments.
20:10It means that you do want to see other people.
20:14Does it though?
20:15Yes.
20:16It does.
20:18Okay, well I don't want to see other people and I do want to make commitments.
20:23Sage, you know that I slept with Izzy, right?
20:28You what?
20:29You said we were casual.
20:30Yeah, I mean like casually exclusive.
20:33That's an oxymoron.
20:34You're an oxymoron!
20:36I'm the moron following the rules that you set.
20:38Yes!
20:39If you wanted to be exclusive, you should have told me.
20:43I really, really like you, Sage, but I can't read your mind.
20:46Well, learn to.
20:48Change of plans.
20:50Cody's walking Poppy, get in the car.
20:53Well, darling, I heard all about your running with the new head of ED.
20:57Do you want to go to dinner and tell me all about it?
20:59Sorry, Cody, I've got to run.
21:09Hello?
21:10Dad!
21:10Bye!
21:12That was the best we had the best day of our lives.
21:15Oh yeah, how much did you pay you to say that?
21:20Surprise.
21:22It's actually the same thing.
21:23He bit me.
21:26Okay, to preface this, Marley locked himself in my room.
21:29Billy broke a bath with a basketball and Sky peed her pants.
21:32So you bought him a puppy?
21:34Well, they wanted one.
21:37And they were really mean to me.
21:40But I called the shop and they said that we could take him back.
21:44Well, the shop might, but they won't.
21:48Look, Sky, he peed himself too.
21:51Go ahead.
22:06Gia.
22:08Gia.
22:08Don't.
22:09Come on, Gia.
22:10Can't we be adults about this?
22:12Adults?
22:13I'm trying to be mature about everything for the kids.
22:16You think your behaviour today was mature?
22:17I have been trying to talk to you.
22:20You want to talk?
22:22When was the last time you talked to your friend Maeve?
22:24Huh?
22:24Ever thought maybe she could use some support?
22:27Also heard you slept with Rachel.
22:29Didn't take you long.
22:31I...
22:31You really want to know how Esther's going?
22:34You broke her, Marty.
22:36She stood by you time and time again.
22:39And when things got rough, you washed your hands of it.
22:42And now she's down in Wairika Tonu with her heart outside of her body, holding it down for the kids.
22:47So there you go.
22:49That's how Esther's going.
22:50And that's why she didn't want to bring the kids up.
22:53And that is why if I have anything to do with it, you will never see those kids again.
Comments