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00:00all right i'm gonna give you the lowdown i got a tom tom podcast on the line right here
00:03just to see how they're doing how your life's going here you go hello there
00:10hello there how are you doing me good what about you i am doing good this is the tom tom
00:17show the
00:18international podcast so sorry sorry what this is a podcast coming out of america so if you're
00:26if you're up for it we just chit chat a little bit that's all i do is talk to people
00:29around the world
00:32oh uh where do you put your podcasts it's out everywhere may i know your channel's name yeah
00:39it's the tom tom show do you mind if i check it oh go ahead i don't mind anything because
00:45i'm the one
00:45bugging people around the world so so what do you talk about anything i mean we just it really is
00:53just to see how people are doing how the day went and then we talk about whatever we talk about
00:58there's no particular subject that i have to bring up we don't have to talk about politics i hate
01:02talking about politics we just kind of we just kind of chat okay wait a second yeah i'm gonna have
01:11a
01:11drink of water oh there you go
01:24this is so fun man it really is it's fun for me so hit me up i mean ask me
01:32any question i don't know
01:33if i would be able to answer it but yeah let's see yeah the big question is how was your
01:39day today
01:40are you doing all right okay okay okay okay to answer it my day has been very um a little
01:47of
01:47everything so i have been upset almost oh no why the entire day but later i had a talk i
01:58mean a pep talk
01:59to myself which kind of uh helped me feel better so i was kind of i was feeling that uh
02:09why does love
02:10usually leave me oh yeah which later changed for me to and in the sense that while i was just
02:22i was
02:22journaling i was writing in my diary and i ended up writing that love ends up leaving me
02:29yeah and then the thought occurred that maybe love is just leading me to becoming more of myself
02:36yeah i mean i was upset the entire day i was missing somebody and i was just thinking that
02:43why does this happen if if two people love each other so much why does this have to happen so
02:49i was
02:49thinking that and yeah yeah no i'm sorry that you had that yeah that's a tough tough thing
02:56and but i love that you gave yourself a pep talk and you started to feel better that's beautiful
03:02i know it's you're not all better but you you found a way to feel a little better yeah um
03:09and you know
03:10when i was younger i felt the same way i uh how old are you i mean yeah oh don't
03:15worry you can ask me
03:16any question you want and just like with you if i don't want to answer it i won't and i'm
03:20going to ask you
03:21questions don't answer any question that you don't want to answer um i'm 50. oh oh my god okay yeah
03:27i'm 24. is that a big number uh yeah i mean by your voice it just felt like you must
03:35be in your late
03:3620s or early 30s no no i assure you that i'm 50 years old and uh i i have a
03:43youthful spirit though so i
03:45a lot of people think i'm younger but no when i was younger i yeah i felt if i was
03:50in a had a
03:51girlfriend or something if there was a breakup it was somebody breaking up with me that's how i
03:56that's how it went for a long time and that was a little heavy and i wondered how how is
04:00this ever
04:01gonna work but mm-hmm and uh and and you just well you said you were missing somebody well yeah
04:08i mean
04:09dude it's uh it's uh it's it's it's very rare to find people who can who just know what's in
04:18your
04:18soul what's in your mind yeah but you have to let them go maybe because the timing is not right
04:26i don't
04:27know i don't know if if this concept is even right yeah so i have i think for me i
04:35have been in love
04:36twice like the real love where the other person also loves me and i know that that that the feeling
04:43is mutual and that uh the love is so so so intense and real and i'm not uh saying it
04:52from the perspective
04:53of a girl who is in love and who feels like okay the her uh the other person also loves
04:57her i know this
04:58like i could feel that yeah but we have to part our ways which
05:06theo is the both of us but yeah we have to do that and that leaves me with a question
05:15like why does
05:16love always leave me so today i when i was writing it in my diary it just felt like okay
05:27maybe love is
05:28just leading me that's no okay i like that that's beautiful i don't know if it's beautiful it's
05:35i don't know if it is beautiful or i'm just trying to make myself feel better i don't know
05:40no that's what i mean you're finding a way to to make sense of it all i think that's a
05:46good thing
05:47and yeah and i have had that experience where you love someone but you can't be with them
05:51i have had that experience it's just not either it's not the right time or it's just not going to
05:55work out and you can uh you can be in love with somebody and have to let them go that's
06:02and that
06:02does it does suck but yeah that well you're and how old are you generally you don't have to tell
06:08me
06:08exactly how old you i'm 24 so you are still young i know you don't feel probably like you're super
06:14young
06:14but to somebody like me you're still young and there's still yeah a lot of time to find somebody
06:20and it when it doesn't work out even even my wife when we first started um you know hanging out
06:26and
06:26having crushes on each other it took years for us to finally connect and you know get together so
06:32okay it sometimes there were times where i thought no that it definitely wasn't going to work out between
06:38us and we just kind of we just kind of faded away from each other and then eventually we made
06:44a life
06:45together and it just had to be the right time because also i was very immature when i was young
06:49so uh yeah whatever it was like i am so happy that it worked out for you because i know
06:57that feeling
06:57when things work out so just know that i'm genuinely very happy that it did no i appreciate that yeah
07:04and
07:05i am very grateful for the for the whole thing yeah there's a little bit of luck involved i was
07:10just
07:10talking to somebody the other day about this there is some luck involved right okay and and you have to
07:18work hard to make it make a relationship work but you gotta get lucky lucky and do you also have
07:27to pray
07:27about it sure yeah i don't what uh what kind of praying do you do i'm just curious
07:37praying i mean i would just sit around sit and sit and sit quietly like a child with my eyes
07:43closed and just go like god please i really want this to happen i don't know
07:48if the timing is wrong but if it's wrong please make me meet this person
07:53oh right again when the time is right so a prayer like that like a very innocent prayer by a
08:00child
08:01so that is how it happens with me so no that that's that's cool are you christian by any chance
08:08or
08:08all right what are you no no i am a hindu only okay yeah no great i prayed the other
08:16day i do not
08:16pray a whole lot and i'm not a okay i'm not a believer but i i prayed for serenity the
08:22other day
08:22i even got on my knees so even somebody that doesn't believe can pray um no and does that make
08:29you feel good after you pray or maybe reassure you a little bit does it make you feel better does
08:34it make
08:34you feel hopeful yeah i mean it just makes me feel like uh i have um what do we call
08:43it uh
08:45um there's a word i'm just gonna give you a very specific word sure um
08:54i can't recall that exact word only and it won't make it make sense otherwise yeah no i get um
09:02it just feels like i'm not alone my wish was
09:09uh god listened to me and now it's in their hand if it's good for me they will make it
09:16work out if
09:17it's not maybe it's true that it's leading me to something better yeah so yeah i'm as i'm still not
09:27able to recall the exact word that i wanted to use but yeah i hope you understood what i do
09:32i do actually
09:32and i appreciate it once that word pops in you can tell me yeah uh maybe when i'll be able
09:41to
09:41when i'll get the word i'll let you know no and i uh i coach sports in in the town
09:48where i live here
09:49and at one of my parks there's a pastor who kind of you know gets all the teams together and
09:54kind of
09:54runs the show and he's a pastor in a church and i told him the other day i was worried
09:59about some stuff
10:00and i said yeah i'm feeling anxious and i've been worrying about this stuff and he said well
10:05are you worrying more than you're praying that's what he asked wait wait wait i'm sorry to cut you
10:09off actually the word is surrendering surrendering oh i love that right oh man yeah no i'm glad we'll
10:18come back to what i was saying and hopefully it means yeah no that's funny you know i started to
10:22put
10:22an album out a few years ago and i gave up on it but it was called surrendering i actually
10:26named it
10:26surrendering um oh wow yeah and and surrendering is a tough concept because to a lot of people
10:34surrendering is weakness like you don't surrender surrendering to your enemies means you're giving up
10:38and you're you're forfeiting and you're losing but the other meaning and i what does surrendering mean
10:44for you there for me it's it's it's beautiful it's something that i see very beautifully it's a
10:51strength for me in fact it's like you free yourself yeah and when you free yourself you just you feel
10:59powerful in fact right um for me it's that only it's like faith faith in this world faith in something
11:10powerful and just surrendering yourself into that faith and then you're free you're free from worries
11:19you're just you're just filled with faith and you just have to accept surrendering is probably also
11:24a lot like accepting so yeah so for me it it holds a very beautiful meaning not not something negative
11:33definitely not that right in some context people feel like it's negative no yeah surrendering it and i've
11:41used that throughout my life especially if i you know if i'm suffering because of my own
11:46anxiety or desire and then once you surrender i i appreciate those words and and that's what that
11:53pastor said to me the other day he said are you worrying more than you're praying and i thought
11:58well that's a great way to put it like if i nothing comes of me worrying if i sat there
12:04and prayed about
12:04it then at least i'm not worrying while i'm praying you can't worry and pray at the same time
12:10is that true yeah so do you believe in god i do not um i don't believe in a a
12:20god with like a capital
12:21g where you know when i was growing up i when i was young i was convinced there was somebody
12:25up in the
12:26sky who was a man and that was god and then i uh got away from that but at this
12:32point i do feel like um
12:34you know since at one point i tried to adopt a higher power on purpose because i was like i
12:38need
12:38this i need a higher power and if anything is my higher power right now it's humanity it's it's all
12:45the people that's that's what i'm going with right now yeah actually i mean you're right to say this
12:52humanity as well and in fact god is in us as well at times we are the god i mean
13:00for example take a
13:02situation take a financial situation for example that you are going through a financial breakthrough
13:08in your life and you need to make something happen and there if you put your 100 percent into something
13:14you just say that i'll just make it happen it's like you are the god yourself and you're making it
13:20happen yeah so while at the same time you're praying that god please make it happen please make
13:25it happen but at the same time while you are putting your 100 percent into it it could
13:29also mean that the god is in you only and also the other way other day like in the morning
13:35i was on
13:37my walk and i just felt like god is always around us yeah no that's a great feeling you know
13:47and i i
13:47have had feelings like that in my life um but then i became very disappointed when i i learned that
13:54there
13:54wasn't a man up in the outer space that was god yeah so then i kind of lost i know
13:59i rebelled and i
14:01really didn't rebel too i've been thinking about this a lot lately right and and i came to realize
14:06that if you had a connection with god then you could be alone in a room somewhere and you actually
14:11wouldn't be alone and maybe that's the thing about god and prayer that really really helps people
14:16yeah so i'll also tell you one thing yeah uh very different from uh from how we started this
14:25conversation so i have been meaning to host a poetry workshop a poetry workshop for a month yeah so i
14:34am
14:34into writing i am into poetry so i have been meaning to host that and i wanted to do that
14:40especially for
14:41kids kids who are in the age group of uh 7 to 14 or 15 right and i have not
14:51been able to get many
14:52inquiries i had rolled out the form to understand what parents are expecting out of it and i got some
15:00four inquiries and one of the inquiry was like there was a form which was a very detailed form like
15:06i had
15:06put questions and i wanted to understand what parents are saying what parents are expecting out
15:11of this so this one uh one inquiry was filled very in a very detailed manner and this person says
15:19that
15:19he just want to send his cousin like his 10 year old cousin to this poetry workshop because this child
15:27recently lost his mother and because of a surgery because of a miss happening because of a doctor's
15:37mistake and this child for him the home was his mother and now he just even though he has a
15:45house he
15:46feels homeless so now this brother that this this cousin of this child he feels worried about him so he
15:53just mentioned that i want him to be expressive right so when i read that i just felt like i
16:00want to be with
16:01this child at the moment i want to make this child feel safe in any possible manner and i don't
16:09care
16:09if they are willing to pay for it or not i don't care about that i don't want their money
16:13i just want
16:14to be with this child i want this child to be in my workshop so i just felt like it's
16:19just the god's way
16:20yeah god is there that is why i was able to connect with this stranger a complete stranger and i
16:27got to know
16:27about this child right and that's also how god works though is if you're able to help that child
16:34and you're able to help him through that that's like even even my even my purse even my
16:40objective or i don't know perspective change like something that i wanted to
16:45you know i wanted to keep minimal fees to it i i'm not even caring about that i'm like
16:49okay i'll keep the entire workshop free so that no that's sweet so that people do not have to care
16:56like
16:56okay their parents won't be able to afford that i don't care now i just i just care about the
17:00child
17:01about the kids so i just feel like maybe the god is in me maybe the god is between us
17:06maybe the god
17:07is in that child or maybe maybe it's the god just watching us it could be anything but
17:13well yeah you know in the bible it says god is good and if you're doing good and you're even
17:20just
17:20doing one good thing that's that's what i think i think that's where god would work yeah well that's
17:27sweet are you making are you not charging anyone did you say or you're not yeah just so that everyone
17:33oh that's sweet that's really sweet yeah i uh this is my plan now that's wonderful is that child signed
17:39up like they're definitely going to be in the class yes i'm gonna like i'm gonna get the confirmation
17:44from them and i now i'm not gonna tell them okay i'm not charging anything i'll just let them know
17:50that
17:50i'll just let them know that this is this is something that nobody has to pay for right just show
17:56up
17:56just show up with just love and that that child may very well get a lot out of that that's
18:02wonderful
18:04yeah i coach sports like i've seen in the city and um you know there is something about being of
18:10service to other people that i value immensely and there's times where i'm even trying to be of
18:16service to people and and maybe they don't even say thank you they don't need to say thank you i'm
18:20doing it um because there are people that need uh service and there's going to be times in both of
18:28our lives where we're going to need other people to help us and to get us through a tough time
18:32and if everybody took care of everybody else i think the world would be a pretty good place
18:38exactly right i love that you know we got all sorts of bad stuff happening in the world but
18:45i'm tired of talking and thinking about all that stuff that's that's something out of our control
18:50i totally get that that's wonderful poetry workshop so you write a lot of poetry
18:58yeah i do yeah i used to when i was younger i wrote more songs but that's that's pretty cool
19:05do
19:05you have them on a website or anything or do you just write them and are they secret um no
19:10actually
19:10i do share my writings and i usually do that on my instagram and i recently also built my online
19:19magazine literary online magazine oh cool so yeah i was just connecting with writers there and uh
19:28having writing retreats and also doing uh poetry workshops for kids under that umbrella oh very
19:34cool and do you are you okay if the if our episode goes up on the website or do you
19:39want me to
19:39not publish no no that's fine that's fine as long as it's anonymous as long as they stay anonymous there
19:46yes no there's there's a guy in uh chile who i made a name up for him and we just
19:52call him joe
19:52every time and uh there's people that i've had conversations with and at the end of a conversation
19:57after 45 minutes they're like no i don't want you to publish this content i'm like okay okay so
20:02there's all sorts of stuff that we just delete so how do you how do you usually record this um
20:09usually i go on google maps and i used to work with the guy over the last few months and
20:13we would go on
20:14google maps and we'd find random places to call like a laundromat or a restaurant or a bar or a
20:21fishing shop and that was fun as hell and i'm still gonna do that but um okay it was kind
20:27of hard to
20:28find people sometimes or you if we were calling let's say we're calling japan and we're calling
20:33people at work sometimes they don't speak english sometimes they're like i'm at work i can't i can't
20:38talk to you right now so it was it was hard and then this website i realized people actually do
20:45generally want to talk some people on this website are just practicing their english so they're just like
20:50they're up for a conversation so um and i just kind of every once in a while i record that's
20:56great
20:57and i'm so glad that um you're still pursuing your dreams and
21:02or something or something like a passion project i'm glad that you're doing that yeah i am too it
21:07actually uh it's pretty sweet it's made my life better because i can't believe that i'm connecting
21:13with all these different people so yeah and i think i can imagine that it must be an experience for
21:19you because you're connecting with people of all ages yeah of all yeah so from a young from a child
21:26from a young from a totally i mean do you connect with older people do you get the chance to
21:31connect
21:32with somebody older yeah one fella must have been 80 yeah oh my god that's lovely you you found them
21:39here that was a random call uh out in california and then i'm sure that another couple folks were in
21:47their 60s so yeah all sorts of people but no it's fun to talk to everyone and uh yeah that
21:53is what i do
21:54well i'm glad that we got to talk about god that was actually uh that's been on my mind lately
21:59and
22:02maybe i have to pray a little bit more that's great well this was a wonderful call and you send
22:09me an
22:09email if you want to if you don't want to it's all good too and then uh love is going
22:14to find you
22:15at some point especially since you sound like a sweet person and a nice person so you just keep going
22:21thank you so much no i believe it i can see it i think love love is definitely going to
22:26find you so
22:27don't worry about it thank you so much they're so kind all right well you have a wonderful day and
22:34thank you for talking yeah thank you for i mean thank you for doing this i'm so glad yeah okay
22:40all
22:40right have a good day all right appreciate it bye-bye yeah bye-bye
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