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04:41I'm Jory Jordan with the Sudbury Kids Sports Report on location.
04:44I'm told that Nick Archambault of Brodude Sports is also covering today's event, and I'll
04:47be giving her an earful the first chance I get after fumbling my first appearance on Brodude
04:50this summer.
04:51Bitter?
04:52Perhaps.
04:53I got here off of the show.
04:54she got here off of nudes and dicks.
04:56I got here off of plugging vlogs,
04:58she got here off of sucking hogs.
04:59Sure, we're both here because of the gift of gab,
05:01our silver tongues,
05:02but mine was used for profound journalism.
05:04Hers was used on the penises, or otherwise,
05:06of people who hire profound journalists.
05:08Stay tuned.
05:08Let's go! No show!
05:10Fuck the EU!
05:12You know what to do!
05:13Woo!
05:14Well, Dr. Faithful found their way.
05:21Must make you feel pretty good.
05:23What are you doing?
05:24Jersey!
05:25Compliments on the cotton candy blue.
05:28It's a pale turquoise.
05:30Give me a quick one.
05:30Later.
05:31Come on, man.
05:32After.
05:33Hey, Kyle, I see you met Teppo Mackie.
05:36Psycho Mackie?
05:37Oh, you're a cop.
05:38Throw one of those Hannibal Lecter masks on him.
05:40Wish I could throw one on you.
05:42Oops, looks like you've overlapped with brooded sports.
05:44What an opportunity for the SKSR Live and for me
05:46to give a lesson in broadcasting
05:47to the anchor known in professional circles
05:49as Panic Archambeau.
05:51Remember me?
05:52Jordan, right?
05:53My last name, yes.
05:54Like Michael.
05:55Michael V.
05:56Montel.
05:57Right.
05:57Your name's Jory.
05:58Chalk one up for each Dick Archambeau.
06:00Pardon me?
06:01And Nick, I got here through hard work
06:02and saving my allowance.
06:03You got here through sleeping
06:04with dozens of your superiors.
06:06Possibly several dozens.
06:07Get a comment?
06:10Well, that-
06:11Oh!
06:13Sergeant coming.
06:14What's his name again?
06:16Sean.
06:21We want everyone out of here.
06:22Well, this isn't good.
06:23Can we get everyone out of here, please?
06:24We can talk about it.
06:25You've done it before.
06:26You can do it again.
06:27Everyone out.
06:28Everyone is a lot of people.
06:29We had an agreement.
06:30Is there agreement in writing?
06:31Are you serious?
06:31That's going to hurt us here.
06:33You're serious.
06:34There's a lot more people here than Church League, Kelly.
06:36You want me to just boot them all out?
06:37How do you think that's going to go?
06:39You were told clearly.
06:41My guys will stick around for the game
06:42and make sure everyone leaves in a good time afterwards.
06:44There is a 50-50 draw.
06:46Half to the fans, half to us.
06:47Our half is yours.
06:57Oof.
06:58Still standing.
06:59Kind of.
07:00We'll get the cuffs off your guys.
07:01The cuffs were a bit dramatic.
07:02Zip ties.
07:03They get a good story out of it.
07:05Just throw some on that, not bar.
07:11My guys like your guys.
07:14They think it's cool the Bulldogs know their names.
07:24Three cheers for casual sex.
07:26Yeah.
07:27All right, I got them.
07:27You can put your eyes on them.
07:28Okay, yep.
07:33This is fucking crazy.
07:34You seem crazier, Vinny.
07:36We either call the game or we start with a clean slate.
07:38We're not calling the game.
07:39Yeah, EU coach agrees.
07:42All right.
07:44We're going five on five here.
07:45We're going five on five.
07:47We're going five on five.
07:51We're going five on five.
08:03We're going five on five.
08:06We're going five on five.
08:06We're going five on five.
08:06We're going five on five.
08:06We're going five on five.
08:07We're going five on five.
08:07We're going five on five.
08:07We're going five on five.
08:11We're going five on five.
08:13We're going five on five.
08:32Let's kill some guys.
09:08We're down by 2-0, man.
09:12I want two whole goals?
09:13Get a couple now, boys.
09:14Huh?
09:14Don't wait.
09:15We pissed two goals.
09:16Keep it simple.
09:17Boys, beat them up.
09:18Jim.
09:19Yeah.
09:19Jim.
09:20What's up, Shorzy?
09:21What's going on, buddy?
09:21Nice work, Jim.
09:23Creason, where's your brother?
09:24He had to go pee.
09:25I think he could dig a little deeper.
09:26How about having three lines of fucking killers?
09:28It's a luxury.
09:29Huh?
09:29How about being three deep with straight fucking killers?
09:33They're still coming, Shorzy.
09:34They're tough.
09:34Not scared of us.
09:35Make him scared of us.
09:36Hit everything, boys.
09:37Hurt on the body.
09:38Soften them up.
09:38He goes to win games, Shorzy.
09:40Well, you ain't big mole.
09:41Haven't killed enough guys yet.
09:43Well, let's kill some more guys.
10:05Lainey, down the right wing,
10:07has a shot just wide.
10:08And Silvestri fells into Cedarssroom.
10:10This will draw Proud.
10:11The refs of this one get a wee bit out of hand.
10:20Refs are really letting him play, eh?
10:22Not good, boys. Not good, not good, not good.
10:25Real bad.
10:26Eh, Jackie?
10:26You said it, buddy. Not good.
10:28One goal on Cedar Shroom through five periods total is...
10:31Dog shit.
10:32Not substantial.
10:33Got the stud leading the league in rookie scoring right here.
10:35What do they do, Jackie?
10:36You're an all-star, eh, Jackie?
10:38Yeah, what's your secret, Jackie boy?
10:39Keep it simple.
10:40How do you do that?
10:43All hockey players love scoring goals.
10:45That's what keeps us all coming back, that feeling.
10:48I know.
10:48Get back to that.
10:49Keep it fun.
10:50What's fun?
10:50Scoring goals.
10:51Scoring fucking goals.
10:52Can't overthink it.
10:53You started playing hockey to score goals.
10:55Don't overcomplicate it.
10:56You fucking idolize the guys that score goals.
10:59Just do something good.
11:00Just go get that feeling.
11:02Love scoring goals.
11:06This is fun.
11:08Oh, yeah.
11:08This is total fucking buy-in.
11:10Good boy.
11:11Good boy.
11:12Hey, boys.
11:12The first period, we kill some guys.
11:14Didn't kill enough guys in the first.
11:16So period two, you kill some more guys.
11:18Period three.
11:20Make sure they never forget who you are.
11:23Who are we, Big Mo?
11:25Sudbury boys.
11:26Oh, Sudbury boys.
11:27I like that.
11:27That's good.
11:28That's who we are.
11:30Dolo, who are you?
11:31Rapper from Blayville, bro.
11:32Goody, who are you?
11:33Six Nations is going to gobble up all the credence of St. Louis.
11:36Who are you?
11:37Never misses the mark.
11:38Put the fuck up, Michael.
11:39Friesen, where's your brother?
11:40He had to pee.
11:41Who are you?
11:42Freezer twins.
11:43Gord, who are you?
11:44Islander.
11:44Seafood guy.
11:45Big swinging dick.
11:46Sly Silvestri, who are you?
11:48I'd tell you, but put a hockey stick in my hand and I'd become a completely different person.
11:51Who are the gyms?
11:52The gyms are such fucking beauties.
11:55Sheree, old fuck, who are you?
11:57A thousand games in this show.
11:58I've got a few more to go.
11:59Delaney, you fucking coke head.
12:00Who are you?
12:01The guy who's buying lappies for anyone who scores today.
12:03Palmer, who are you?
12:04The guy that really wants to score now.
12:07Hitch, who are you?
12:08The captain of this ship, old man.
12:10Who are you, big Moe?
12:11Shorzy's big brother.
12:12Oh, fuck.
12:14Who are you?
12:15Yeah.
12:16Yeah.
12:18Yeah, me too.
12:19I'm Moe's little brother.
12:22Good, you know who you are.
12:24Who are we?
12:24We're the no-show fucking North Stars boys.
12:28Let's make sure they never forget who we are.
12:33Delaney, Delaney, I gotta know.
12:35You begged me to stay on this team.
12:38You fought three basketball players for it.
12:40You're here for the strippers and nothing more, aren't you?
12:43There's another reason.
12:44What?
12:45About scoring goals.
12:46I want you to see
12:54In love and doubt
12:58It lives over your bones
13:03And all your skin
13:08Feel like you can smell
13:13Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
13:21oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
13:22oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
13:22oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
13:22oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
13:23oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
16:01The EU fooled them with this one.
20:04Welcome back.
20:05It's the Jay Onright Show with Jay Onright, presented by Jay Onright, brought to you by Jay Onright.
20:11Let's dive right into the news of the day with our director of scouting, Craig Button.
20:14Craig, how did you spend your Sudbury Saturday night?
20:17Watching the no-show North star serve a healthy dose of North American brand hockey to the EU All-Stars.
20:24Where else would I have been?
20:26On a network that shall not be named, of course.
20:28Jay, what can we say? That was a real treat.
20:31That was a war!
20:33You know, we've spent time talking about aspects of the North American game and how they've fallen by the wayside
20:39for one reason or another.
20:40For better or for worse.
20:41The no-show North star proved that the North American game is not dead.
20:46I haven't seen that much slashing since the Friday the 13th marathon on Spike TV.
20:51Oh, they gave him lumber while in today's game, graphite.
20:54You gotta wonder where they found those psychos.
20:57The Sudbury Church League.
20:58When you deal with the devil, you're ready for anything.
21:00Yeah, we've all heard about them.
21:02Some guys, you put a hockey stick in their hands and they become a completely different person.
21:07I heard that from someone else once.
21:09Good guy.
21:10Great one.
21:11The no-show may not have pulled out the wind, but boy, oh boy, those guys from up north prove
21:17that our brand of hockey is alive and well.
21:20Well said, my friend.
21:22Well said.
21:32You're half of the 50-50.
21:37Let's talk.
21:41You said when was the last time you read something good about a hockey player?
21:45I'll acknowledge there's some bad stuff out there.
21:47Some.
21:48Kelly.
21:50You said hockey players are all the same.
21:53That there's a culture problem with the sport.
21:57And that's where I'm going to stop you.
22:00I've been around hockey players a long time.
22:03And I know that the culture is very important to them.
22:08So I'm here to defend it.
22:12I want to tell you about my guys.
22:15I don't really know where to start.
22:45They're not perfect.
22:53But off the ice, my guys are always growing.
23:02My guys have taught me that hockey players can be more than sluts.
23:07They've taught me that hockey players can be many things.
23:10They're community members.
23:12They take care of the people that take care of them.
23:15Like Emily and Kevin and Santiago and Jorge.
23:21They're loyal to their community.
23:23And their community is loyal to them.
23:25And while always being there for Sudbury.
23:37They're always there for each other.
23:41That's the culture of hockey.
23:44Loyalty.
23:45Dependability.
23:47Team first.
23:49You guys wanted a peaceful environment at your rink.
23:52And my guys didn't bring that.
23:54I'm sorry.
23:56Some guys play like psychos.
23:59But away from the game.
24:02My guys are family men.
24:05Who call their parents and cry when they talk about their siblings.
24:09But they can also be who you saw at the rink yesterday.
24:13Killers.
24:14And the world needs people like that.
24:18People who, in service of others, will disregard themselves.
24:23People who will give their blood, their sweat.
24:26People who will push through the pain.
24:31The world needs fighters.
24:34So, you see, the hockey players are not all the same.
24:40And the culture of hockey is just fine.
24:45That's what my guys have taught me.
25:15I don't really know where to start.
25:28I don't really know where you start.
25:48I don't really know where you start.
26:16I don't really know where you start.
26:17I don't really know where you start.
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