00:00It is truly a historic day, as America is poised to become the first nation to inhabit Mars.
00:07A select group of our finest and brightest will populate a Martian colony
00:12that will become the bedrock for humanity's future.
00:16Couldn't find love on Earth. Maybe I'll find it on Mars.
00:19I want to be the first human to ever punch an alien in their beaks or noses or green d***.
00:25How to fly a spaceship.
00:30We are cleared for long.
00:33Let's populate some planets.
00:35Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
00:36Hey, boss man, can you turn off the mic in a helmet?
00:38Earth time are the worst.
00:40Last time I fly commercial.
00:42Shut up! It's go time.
00:45If I don't come back, delete my browser history.
00:49Me too.
00:50Aw, dammit, I forgot my protein powder.
00:52Turn it around.
00:54Oh, the G-Force is hitting my G-spot.
00:57No haters in snakes, babe.
00:59Well, I'll just set this puppy on autopilot.
01:05Oh my god!
01:06Oh no!
01:08You forgot your sleeves, sir.
01:10No, Cap!
01:12This sucks!
01:12Excuse me, you just killed Jake Paul.
01:14Jake, who?
01:15Where's the real captain?
01:16Well, I'm the captain now.
01:18The other guy who's caught up in the madness of the new Call of Duty Black Ops 7.
01:23I'm his replacer.
01:25We're all gonna die!
01:26Okay, it's time to call for some backup.
01:37Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
01:38Let's wait.
01:38Let's let it ring out.
01:39We don't want to seem too desperate.
01:42Yo, boss man.
01:43What's he making?
01:44Listen up.
01:45Your training days are over.
01:47It's finally time for you to...
01:50Replace the replacer.
01:5250%.
01:53Say no more.
01:54We've got this.
01:55Thank you so much, sir.
01:57Thank you so much.
01:58Listen, we will not let you down.
02:00He hung up.
02:03You need to get your s**t together.
02:06You're a replacer now, okay?
02:08Replace her.
02:13Our boss is 200,000 miles away.
02:15We got half a tank of gas.
02:16My license is expired.
02:18And I have to pee.
02:19Let's blow this banana stand.
02:29I don't have to pee anymore.
02:31Black Ops 7, baby.
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