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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
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02:04CastingWords
02:06Go away from my window.
02:11Leave at your own chosen speed.
02:15I'm not the one you want, babe.
02:20I'm not the one...
02:24Are you okay?
02:25Oh, my God.
02:26You want to switch? We can switch.
02:27What the fuck?
02:28I don't know.
02:29Oh, sorry.
02:30Yeah, no, no, it's fine.
02:32Yeah, yeah.
02:32Oh, my God.
02:34Sorry.
02:34Just, will you talk to me so I don't fall asleep again?
02:36Yeah, okay.
02:37Okay.
02:39Um...
02:39Oh, the original Coldies is coming up at the next town.
02:43Yeah?
02:43Yeah.
02:44Coldies?
02:45What, they didn't have Coldies in Oregon?
02:49Well, you've heard of Coldies, though, right?
02:51The frozen custard shop?
02:52No.
02:52Bro, are you kidding?
02:55What about Larry Poole, the founder of Coldies?
02:58How would I know about the founder of an ice cream shop that I've never heard of?
03:01I mean, he also murdered three women.
03:04And it's custard, not ice cream.
03:07Oh, my God.
03:07How?
03:08Make it different from ice cream.
03:10It uses more eggs or something.
03:12With strangulation, I think, mostly.
03:14There's this podcast about Larry Poole, and it talks about this woman who tried to kill
03:19in the early 90s, and she was, like, eight months pregnant.
03:22And she just talks about all the fucking shit she had to do to survive.
03:25I mean, what kind of fucking shit?
03:29I was in his truck, and he was taking me down this remote highway, and that's when I noticed
03:35this tiny little shoe at my feet.
03:37A Barbie shoe.
03:38That could have meant he had a daughter, so I told him I was having a little girl.
03:43I was pregnant.
03:44I kept reminding him I'm pregnant.
03:46Then I saw a rest stop sign.
03:48I asked if he could stop, and he just reached over and he slit my throat.
03:55It felt hot, the blood coming out of me, and what I didn't expect is that when you lose
04:04a lot of blood, you can feel actually euphoric.
04:10It was the same way I felt on my wedding day.
04:13More than near death, it was almost like love.
04:20And then Larry threw me out on the side of the road.
04:24I just kept thinking, if you close your eyes, you'll die here.
04:30So I got up.
04:32I walked along the road, holding my throat together, and I started to feel less euphoric
04:37and more melted, like I was disappearing.
04:41But at the same time, like I was running a marathon, and I was winning.
04:46I was winning.
04:50I made it to the rest stop.
04:51A young couple was there, their eyes.
04:54God, they were horrified by the sight of me.
04:58But they were so kind.
05:01Thank God for them.
05:02Thank God for them.
05:03Those people saved my life.
05:06I'm going to grab a lighter from the gas station.
05:08You want anything?
05:11Maybe cinnamon gum?
05:12It's not that gross.
05:13It's pretty gross.
05:14Oh, will you save us the-
05:15Window booth, yeah.
05:23That's everybody's fine.
05:28No doubt about it.
05:31I really think you're fine.
05:34Ooh, baby.
05:35I'll shout all about it.
05:38Tell the world you're mine.
05:41Ooh, baby.
05:43You've got a higher desire.
05:45And what?
05:46It's not just that.
05:47I heard that you can also actually feel your bones and organs shifting to make room for
05:50the baby to come out.
05:52You know some women have giant babies.
05:54Have you heard of that?
05:55Like, 12-pound babies.
05:57Huge heads just tearing everything.
05:59We wouldn't have a huge baby.
06:01How do you know?
06:02Well, I just think that, like, our future baby would be dainty.
06:10You can't guarantee that.
06:12I don't want to be torn open.
06:14It'll be small, I promise.
06:15Like this.
06:16Smaller.
06:16Smaller?
06:17Okay.
06:18Smaller than that.
06:20Smaller than that.
06:22I can't-
06:23Okay.
06:24That's good.
06:26Wait.
06:27That's so close.
06:29Holy shit.
06:30Really?
06:30Yeah, wait.
06:31I gotta show you.
06:31People are lost with bad things happening to him.
06:34Why does he keep getting up?
06:35I don't know.
06:36The guy loves dogs.
06:38If he loves dogs, then why do they keep going missing?
06:40What do you want me to say?
06:42Dogs go missing.
06:43No, dogs don't go missing.
06:45Cats go missing.
06:46That's not how it works.
06:48Are you sure you've never seen the logo before?
06:50I mean, it's identical.
06:52It is weird.
06:54You even got the pose right and everything.
06:56Yeah.
06:58That's crazy.
06:59Six cents or something.
07:01Did I ever tell you about my dad's girlfriend, the one that had the daughter of Kathy?
07:05No, keep going.
07:06So his four-year-old girl Kathy, she could remember that.
07:08She could remember her past life.
07:09And she always talked about her late husband and how he drowned trying to rescue their son
07:16from the rapids.
07:17Sounds like Kathy had a great imagination.
07:19No, I think that children can inexplicably exist in a third dimension or at least remember
07:26their past lives and, I don't know, maybe even the future.
07:29And I think that's weird.
07:31I don't like it.
07:32Or, Kathy had a great imagination.
07:36You didn't know Kathy.
07:37She was haunted.
07:39I don't want haunted children.
07:42Yeah, well, we won't haunt them.
07:44Make them out haunted.
07:46You're not haunted.
07:47You can't know that for sure.
07:49I hope our kid comes out like you.
07:51Which is very sweet.
07:56At least my mom would have to skip that part.
07:59Which part?
08:00The whole thing.
08:02I mean, aren't children just basically like a vessel for old people to pour their love
08:06into and just distract from the inevitable loneliness of aging.
08:09Wow.
08:10What a great lunch.
08:12I mean, what reason would a person have to keep losing their daughter?
08:15It's not like it's on purpose.
08:17I'm like, who cares?
08:19Do I get bands from another daughter?
08:20What's wrong?
08:23It's okay.
08:24I didn't even know her.
08:26Yeah.
08:26It's fine.
08:29We had such a great seven and a half months together.
08:32It was so good.
08:33I didn't really even need any more.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Yeah, I've actually heard that.
08:39That's a secret to a healthy adulthood.
08:42What?
08:43A dead mother?
08:45And an agoraphobic father?
08:47Yeah.
08:47It's perfect.
08:48I think I read a New York Times article about it.
08:50And they said also that someone with overbearing parents makes the perfect match for someone
08:55with a dead mother and a strange father.
08:57Should we like get married or something?
08:59Oh, I'm thinking really small ceremony.
09:01My parents little vacation cabin in the woods.
09:03None of the wedding bullshit.
09:05Just beautiful nature.
09:06Snow falling outside the window.
09:08And we don't have to fly.
09:09We can drive and stop at the fanciest restaurants we can find.
09:13That's it.
09:14Let's fucking go.
09:15I'll marry you.
09:15Okay.
09:16Cheers.
09:18Clink.
09:20I love you.
09:21Love you.
09:23Hey.
09:23Hmm?
09:25My family's gonna love you.
09:28Thanks.
09:29She's got it.
09:30We're getting married.
09:33And, um, our kid will be perfect.
09:41Don't put so much pressure on our kid.
09:44Our kid will be mediocre.
09:45Some kids kill their own parents.
09:48Okay, but how is our kid gonna kill us when it's only this big?
10:06He's killing the dogs, isn't he?
10:08What?
10:17What?
10:20What?
10:25I love you.
10:28I love you.
10:29Love you.
10:30I love you.
10:32From the bottom of the world
10:34Change it, Straub
10:48Ready?
10:59Three
11:00Two
11:01One
11:03One
11:04One
11:09Two
11:28One
11:30Two
11:31Two
11:31One
11:32Two
11:33Two
11:33Two
11:35One
11:36Two
11:37Two
11:37Two
11:38Two
11:38Two
11:38Three
11:38Two
11:50Two
11:55One
11:56Two
11:56One
11:58Two
12:00Two
12:00Two
12:02Three
12:04Two
12:09Two
12:21Oh, my God.
12:58God, I've got to pee.
13:10God, I've got to pee.
13:42God, I've got to pee.
13:42Oh, my God.
13:43Nicky.
13:44Nicky, come here.
13:45Come here.
13:46What?
13:47Come here.
13:52Look.
13:53Oh, my God.
13:53Do you think it's okay?
13:55Okay.
13:56Okay, stay here.
13:58I'm gonna go check the bathroom.
14:01Rachel, are you...
14:02I'm looking for its parents and, uh, just stay.
14:05I'll be right back.
14:06Rachel.
14:07Hello?
14:08Uh...
14:09Okay.
14:10Hey.
14:10Hi, baby.
14:11What's up?
14:12No.
14:13No, no, no.
14:13Don't cry.
14:15Happy baby.
14:17Hello?
14:19Anyone in here?
14:30Oh, my God.
14:37Hello?
14:38Hello?
14:39Hello?
14:50Hello?
14:51Hello?
15:02Hello?
15:12Oh.
15:12Oh, my God.
15:20Oh, my God.
15:43Hello?
15:53Hello?
16:05Oh, my God.
16:28I'm not getting any service.
16:30I checked the men's room.
16:31There's no one in there.
16:32Oh, fuck.
16:33No service.
16:35Okay.
16:37Um, okay, but I think one of us should just stay here with the baby and the other one should
16:42drive to the nearest, like, gas station or restaurant or whatever you can call for help.
16:45Okay.
16:45Yeah, um, what do you want me to?
16:47Why is it quiet?
16:48What?
16:49What?
16:49It freezes stuff in there.
16:50Why is it quiet?
16:52Why is it quiet?
16:54Why is it quiet?
16:55Okay.
16:57Uh, did you try breaking it?
17:19What the fuck?
17:50Why is it quiet?
17:50Why is it quiet?
17:59I don't know.
18:34I don't know.
18:49I don't know.
18:50Hi.
18:50Excuse me.
18:51There's a rest stop, I don't know, 20 miles south of here off the highway.
18:55I don't have any cell service, but my boyfriend and I stopped there, and we found a baby abandoned
19:01in a car, and I think that maybe something bad might have happened to its parents.
19:07Guys, uh, are you alone out here?
19:16Oh, that's good.
19:18You're here.
19:20Oh, that's less good.
19:23Sorry, can you call the cops, please?
19:25Uh, Benjamin.
19:28Yeah, Benjamin.
19:31So cool.
19:32Benjamin was the name of the guy who worked here before me, but he hung himself in the bathroom
19:37with an electrical cord, and they were too cheap to get me a name type with my own name
19:41on it.
19:42Um, so could you, could you call the cops now, please?
19:48Are you stoned?
19:52It helps me relax.
19:54You seem relaxed.
19:55Could you call the cops, please?
19:57Wait here.
19:58I'll call.
20:27I'll call.
20:29I'll call.
20:33I'll call.
20:35I'll call.
20:37I'll call.
20:42I'll call.
20:44I'll call.
20:44I'll call.
20:45I'll call.
20:46I'll call.
20:46I'll call.
20:47I'll call.
20:49I'll call.
20:49I'll call.
20:49I'll call.
20:49I'll call.
20:50I'll call.
20:50I'll call.
20:52I'll call.
21:01Oh, fuck.
21:12Hey, you said south of here?
21:14Uh, yeah, south of here.
21:16Um, hey.
21:17Okay, stay there.
21:19Wait, Benjamin.
21:25You are my happiness.
21:33That's what's mine.
21:39You are my sweet friend.
21:46You know...
22:10You are my sweet friend.
22:16You are my sweet friend.
22:27You are my sweet friend.
22:30You are my sweet friend.
22:32You are my sweet friend.
22:56Are you sure he's the one?
23:04You are my sweet friend.
23:09You are my sweet friend.
23:12You are my sweet friend.
23:13Hey, they're coming to rescue your baby.
23:31You are my sweet friend.
23:42Queenie.
23:42I hate you.
23:58I love you.
24:07I love you.
24:40Oh my god. Fucking damn it. Fuck. Oh my god. Sorry. You scared me. Is the baby okay? Oh yeah.
24:53The family came back. What the fuck? You're bleeding. What happened? So they thought I was trying to steal their
25:00baby and the guy punched me in the face. What? Yeah. They pulled over to get some fresh air because
25:05she was car sick and then I guess they went for a walk. And what?
25:07And left their baby in the car? Yeah. I don't know. What? Is that not fucking psychotic? Let me see.
25:14Yeah. I know. Oh man. Oh. You had such a nice face. Yeah. They were really apologetic. They felt like
25:20we did the right thing. Okay. I'm so glad that they felt that way. Wait. Wait. Should we wait for
25:25the cops?
25:30No. No. No. Let's get the fuck out of here.
25:45You okay? You okay? Hmm? You okay? Yeah. So tired.
26:01What is it? Uh, code is 0817. Your birthday? No pressure. Marrying the favorite child. Stop. You know they can't
26:11wait to meet you.
26:26Yeah. Whoa. Yeah.
26:48Your parents' little vacation cabin?
26:52Is it not a cabin?
26:54It's not little.
26:58I don't know, I have a concussion or something.
27:00God.
27:05Okay.
27:07You ready?
27:18Holy shit.
27:24This is insane.
27:32Oh, God.
27:36Yeah.
27:37What is...
27:37It's like a tradition of the family dogs.
27:46Oh, it's actually...
27:48We always got in trouble for looking in their eyes
27:50because it was considered, like, disrespectful to do
27:53after they were dead.
27:55How would anyone know if you looked them in the eyes?
27:58Just my dad said that they could see.
28:00I just looked them in the eyes, so...
28:03Why am I in trouble?
28:05I guess we'll find out.
28:29Is that empty chair for me?
28:32I know.
28:33You've always dreamed of being painted into a family portrait
28:37guarded by two taxidermy dogs.
28:39Oh, yeah.
28:40Did they paint over your brother's ex-wife with his new one?
28:43Yeah.
28:44My sister demanded it.
28:47That's...
28:48fucking weird.
28:49That's weird.
28:55This is the love king.
28:58The love king?
28:59Yeah.
28:59Yeah.
29:12Woo!
29:17Oh, ow!
29:29Was this a family pet too?
29:32Oh, no.
29:34My great-grandmother Elizabeth was killed by a bear.
29:39And her husband died trying to avenge her death.
29:42Wow.
29:44Yeah.
29:46Would you do that for me?
29:48Of course.
29:50Oh, careful, careful.
29:52Sorry. Sorry.
29:53You're good.
29:55I could, um, get you some eyes for your face or I could, you know, just call the butler.
30:02Oh, he's off at 10.
30:07Oh.
30:08I'm just kidding. Are you sure?
30:10Stupid.
30:11I can get it.
30:11I got it.
30:12Just tell me where it is.
30:13Alright, I'll get the bags from the car.
30:16Kitchen, it's, uh, down the atrium.
30:19To the right of the curb hallway by the front door.
30:22Here?
30:22Yeah, he's ready.
30:25Yeah, he's ready.
30:35Closer to the right.
30:39Share with me, you're a little bit.
30:43verdi.
30:45Knock out of here.
30:47We're having lots of fun.
30:48Oh, I took some water.
30:50He eats his chicken all the time.
30:53No, I don't put the rules. I put them myself.
30:56You just have to be there.
30:57Well, you should divorce him and marry me
30:59and complete the Cunningham sibling trifecta.
31:01Fuck!
31:02You scared the shit out of me!
31:03Sorry. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
31:08I can go.
31:09Oh my God, she exists!
31:12There's no such thing as interrupting!
31:14Come here, we're family!
31:16Oh! It's your wedding!
31:19Are you excited?
31:21I am excited.
31:23Oh, we were just talking about you
31:25and you appeared out of thin air.
31:26I told you I can summon things.
31:28She's not a thing, Portia.
31:30Come meet your new family!
31:34Nellie?
31:35Julie?
31:36Nellie.
31:37Hi.
31:38It's Jules.
31:39Nice to meet you.
31:40I can't believe we're finally meeting you.
31:42It's like you've been avoiding us on purpose.
31:43Oh my God, no.
31:44I was really disappointed when you didn't come to London
31:46or our Iceland trip last summer,
31:47but you're scared of planes or whatever.
31:49No.
31:50I was just telling my friend Cindy
31:50about how you and Nikki met in an airport.
31:53So romantic.
31:57You're really cute.
31:59Isn't she cute?
32:00She's pretty cute.
32:01Oh, let me see the ring.
32:04So pretty.
32:06Nellie, isn't it pretty?
32:07She's pretty, yeah.
32:08So where is darling Nikki?
32:09He's just unloading the car.
32:11We just got here.
32:13I actually came in here to get some ice for his face
32:17because he got punched in the face tonight.
32:22Really?
32:22Why?
32:25It's a long story.
32:26Sorry.
32:31We got time.
32:35We were at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere
32:39and there was like an abandoned baby in the car.
32:45Nikki stayed with the baby.
32:46I went to get help.
32:46And then when I went to this dive bar,
32:48there was this like very creepy guy.
32:51What if it was the sorry man?
32:55Portia.
32:59The what?
33:00Did you know there's something evil living in these woods?
33:03No, we're not doing that.
33:05Come on.
33:06I can tell a fucking story if I want to.
33:08I'm done.
33:08Rachel and Sarah.
33:11Good night, Rachel.
33:12Good night.
33:14Watch out.
33:17I'm gonna go.
33:20Rachel.
33:21Hmm?
33:21It's quick.
33:22It's a bedtime story.
33:27Yeah.
33:28Okay.
33:32Picture this.
33:33It's a regular winter day, a day just like today.
33:35Jules is like eight and decides to run away
33:37because he's dramatic.
33:38I'm a baby so I don't remember it anyway.
33:40It starts getting dark out
33:42and baby Jules is all alone in the woods.
33:45You know what's worse than being all alone in the woods?
33:47When you realize you're actually not all alone.
33:53So Jules hears a woman screaming like
33:55but worse.
33:57He tries to run away from the sound
33:59but no matter what direction he gets
34:01the screams get louder and louder and louder
34:06and louder and louder and louder
34:09until he comes face to face with it.
34:13the sorry man.
34:17With his long, sharp, dirty nails.
34:20His distended belly.
34:22His mouth open in a downturned smile.
34:27Wailing.
34:28It's awful.
34:31Picture that shit ten fucking feet in front of you
34:33and that's what baby Jules sees.
34:35So Jules hides from the sorry man
34:37holding his breath,
34:39watching,
34:40watching,
34:42watching
34:44as the sorry man cuts a woman open
34:49and turns her inside out.
34:53And the whole time he does it,
34:55he cries and he says,
34:57I'm sorry.
34:58I'm sorry.
35:00I'm sorry.
35:03It's awful.
35:04He's totally deranged
35:06and he comes up from hell
35:07stalking these woods,
35:08believing his long lost wife.
35:10He's hidden inside another woman.
35:13Like one day he'll slice a woman open
35:15and there she'll be.
35:19and the two of them can go back to hell
35:21in some fucked up,
35:24romantic kind of...
35:27Oh my God.
35:29What is that?
35:36I got you!
35:38I got you both.
35:40Aw, Judy, what's up?
35:43What are you doing up, Judy?
35:46Spying on the girls?
35:48Sorry, Portia.
35:49I couldn't sleep.
35:51Well, this is Rachel.
35:52She's gonna be your new aunt.
35:54Isn't that exciting?
35:56Aw, it's okay.
35:59No, the sorry man's awoken by the scent of blood,
36:01so you just have to avoid bleeding.
36:03You're not on your period, right?
36:07Don't worry.
36:08The sorry man doesn't want little boys.
36:10No.
36:12He prefers brides.
36:14So this is what we say to Auntie Rachel.
36:16Goodnight.
36:16Goodnight.
36:17Sweet bride.
36:18Sweet bride.
36:20Don't let the sorry man see your insides.
36:31Hey, sir, you had to hear that story to get me this.
36:34It scared us so much when we were kids
36:36that our parents put a ban on it.
36:39So you met Jules and Nellie, too?
36:41That's fun.
36:42Are they trying to kill each other with butter knives?
36:45I mean, you don't believe in it.
36:46Right?
36:47No.
36:48I definitely don't believe in the human skin wearing monster from hell.
36:55But something happened to Jules in the woods from your kids.
36:59You just came back different.
37:03You don't know what really happened?
37:07That's the story you came back with.
37:10And then my parents ditched him at some fancy European boarding school.
37:14Pretty messed up, right?
37:15I stabbed a guy at the dive bar.
37:18What?
37:19With the car keys.
37:21He was super fucking creepy.
37:23What do you mean?
37:25He kept staring at me, and then he started walking up to me,
37:27and I thought that he was going to hurt me, but I don't know how to describe it.
37:30But I was like, he was watching me pee.
37:32Wait, the lights? Are you okay?
37:34Yeah, I'm fine.
37:35It was just...
37:39I don't know.
37:41I do feel sort of like I'm having deja vu, but, like, not the good kind.
37:44Like, I feel something so familiar, and I don't know how to describe it,
37:48except just dread.
37:50Like, when you just know something bad's going to happen, you just know,
37:53and I've been feeling that way more and more and more and more and more
37:57since we got here, and then now that we're here, I just, like...
38:01I don't know. I just, like, I really, I really feel it now.
38:04Hey, come here. Come here. Rachel.
38:06Baby, come here.
38:07It's okay.
38:08I'm sorry.
38:10I'm sorry.
38:11I...
38:11I get it.
38:13Hey, I've been feeling it, too. I've been feeling off.
38:16I completely understand.
38:25Nikki?
38:26Hmm?
38:28Did you tell your sister didn't come to Iceland because of a panic attack?
38:33No.
38:34I wouldn't do that.
38:38Then why does she know I'm afraid of flying?
38:41Well, she knows the story of how we met.
38:48I'm sorry.
38:50I love you.
39:02I'm sorry.
39:04I'm sorry.
39:05What?
39:13I have to do the thing.
39:18I'm sorry.
39:20Anyway.
39:23I don't care.
39:23Okay.
39:29I'll do the thing.
39:40Bye.
39:43Bye.
39:45Bye.
39:45Oh, my God.
40:42Oh, my God.
40:45Oh, my God.
40:54Oh, my God.
40:57Oh, my God.
41:22Oh, my God.
41:58Oh, my God.
42:24Oh, my God.
42:31Oh, my God.
43:03Oh, my God.
43:10Oh, my God.
43:27Oh, my God.
44:01Oh, my God.
44:04Oh, my God.
44:39Oh, my God.
44:42Oh, my God.
45:24Oh, my God.
45:27Oh, my God.
46:21Oh, my God.
46:54Oh, my God.
47:24Oh, my God.
47:27Oh, my God.
48:26Oh, my God.
48:54Oh, my God.
48:57Oh, my God.
49:31Oh, my God.
50:01Oh, my God.
50:31Oh, my God.
50:57Oh, my God.
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