- 2 days ago
Philosopher Stefan Molyneux's 25 March 2026 Wednesday Night Live livestream fields calls tying IQ to comedy, curiosity to kids' creativity, and post-divorce dating to moral virtues, breaking down foundational values for ethical clarity and personal power.
0:00:00 Introduction and Thanks
0:01:05 Chuck Norris and Comedy
0:02:14 IQ and Comedians
0:04:18 The Absurdity of Creativity
0:05:50 Sustaining Creative Energy
0:09:34 The Challenge of Creativity
0:11:14 Music and Artistic Decline
0:15:57 The Dangers of Complacency
0:18:59 Creativity vs. Repetition
0:27:38 The Importance of Curiosity
0:30:03 The Power of Play
0:31:36 The Loss of Creative Impulse
0:32:43 Engaging with the Future
0:33:19 Updates on Relationships
0:40:47 Navigating Family Dynamics
0:41:03 The Art of Communication
0:50:36 Parenting and Relationships
0:57:50 Exploring Christian Moral Virtues
1:04:39 Cardinal Virtues and Their Importance
1:14:43 The Challenge of Virtue in Life
1:20:03 Practical Advice for Future Relationships
1:21:36 Negotiating for Future Children
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0:00:00 Introduction and Thanks
0:01:05 Chuck Norris and Comedy
0:02:14 IQ and Comedians
0:04:18 The Absurdity of Creativity
0:05:50 Sustaining Creative Energy
0:09:34 The Challenge of Creativity
0:11:14 Music and Artistic Decline
0:15:57 The Dangers of Complacency
0:18:59 Creativity vs. Repetition
0:27:38 The Importance of Curiosity
0:30:03 The Power of Play
0:31:36 The Loss of Creative Impulse
0:32:43 Engaging with the Future
0:33:19 Updates on Relationships
0:40:47 Navigating Family Dynamics
0:41:03 The Art of Communication
0:50:36 Parenting and Relationships
0:57:50 Exploring Christian Moral Virtues
1:04:39 Cardinal Virtues and Their Importance
1:14:43 The Challenge of Virtue in Life
1:20:03 Practical Advice for Future Relationships
1:21:36 Negotiating for Future Children
GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/
SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux
Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1
GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!
https://peacefulparenting.com/
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!
You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00:00Good evening, my friends.
00:00:0225th of March, 2026.
00:00:04Hope you're doing well.
00:00:06I would like to thank all of the flood of call-in requests
00:00:09that have come in.
00:00:10Happy to chat.
00:00:11Always happy to help philosophy come to bear
00:00:16or be brought to bear on your glorious life.
00:00:20And thank you, everyone, who's signing up.
00:00:22FreedomMain.com.
00:00:23FreedomMain.com slash call to help out.
00:00:28And, well, FreedomMain.com slash donate to help out the show
00:00:31slash call if you would like to have a call-in public or private with me.
00:00:37I had a very interesting one today.
00:00:39I mean, they're all interesting.
00:00:40But if you're donors, it's already out there at the moment.
00:00:45And you can check it out at FreedomMain.com slash donate.
00:00:50All right.
00:00:51Let's dive straight in.
00:00:53I have questions.
00:00:54I have comments.
00:00:55I have callers.
00:00:57If you would like to tell me what is on your mind.
00:01:06Hello.
00:01:07Hang on a second here.
00:01:08We are not getting you through the right.
00:01:13No, not that.
00:01:14Hang on.
00:01:16There we go.
00:01:16Try that again.
00:01:18Okay.
00:01:18Can you hear me now?
00:01:19There we go.
00:01:19Sorry about that.
00:01:20It was coming through the speaker, not through the headphones.
00:01:23So we're good now.
00:01:24That way everyone can hear you.
00:01:25What's on your mind?
00:01:26Hey, Stefan.
00:01:29We had a call-in.
00:01:32I was on one of your call-in shows.
00:01:33I think it was on a Wednesday night last week.
00:01:37And I missed out on the Chuck Norris part of it.
00:01:45So I didn't catch that until the following day on the actual podcast when I listened to
00:01:50the whole thing.
00:01:51And I have a joke of my own I made up today.
00:01:56Chuck Norris had a blood test.
00:02:00It came back positive for TNT.
00:02:04It came back positive for TNT.
00:02:06Nice.
00:02:07Nice.
00:02:07And nice to see a little bit of machismo still acceptable in the culture, even if it isn't
00:02:11largely a fictional character.
00:02:13But yeah.
00:02:13So what else is on your mind?
00:02:14So anyway, so I have a question regarding IQ.
00:02:21And during our conversation, you had mentioned briefly, I can't remember where during that
00:02:27conversation that occurred, but you brought up, you mentioned Steve Martin.
00:02:32And I thought, okay, that's interesting.
00:02:34And I'm a big fan of his too.
00:02:37And I would say Steve Martin arguably is sort of the Chuck Norris of comedy.
00:02:46I wonder, if any, what's your opinion of the correlation, if it exists, between IQ and a comedian?
00:02:56And just take, for example, Steve Martin as an example.
00:03:02Yeah, I mean, I'm a big fan of Steve Martin as a whole, although I find him in the sort
00:03:09of Monty Python vein to be quite surreal in his stand-up comedy.
00:03:13But he is very funny.
00:03:15A friend of mine and I used to listen to him quite a bit when I was in my teenage
00:03:19years,
00:03:19because he's very funny.
00:03:22The absurdist style of humor was quite appealing to me.
00:03:26It took me a while to get into Monty Python.
00:03:28That came in through my brother.
00:03:30But I think Steve Martin, very intelligent.
00:03:32I actually read his autobiography.
00:03:34He had a really rough childhood and a father who wanted to be him, right?
00:03:40There's an old line from Jung, which says,
00:03:43almost nothing has more effect on a child's life than the unlived life of the parents,
00:03:49like the dreams and the hopes and the goals and so on of the parents,
00:03:52especially if they weren't manifested.
00:03:54So Steve Martin, very funny and very witty.
00:03:59And he's one of the few people who stopped at the top.
00:04:02He was the biggest stand-up draw that comedy had ever seen.
00:04:07And he stopped right at the top and began to do movies.
00:04:10Instead, he wrote The Jerk or co-wrote The Jerk and was in that, of course, as the lead character.
00:04:16You know, pretty funny, funny-ish.
00:04:19And he did a string of great movies.
00:04:22I'm a big fan of the movie Parenthood.
00:04:24I think it's staggeringly witty and quite insightful.
00:04:28And I think about him when his son finally does something good on the baseball team,
00:04:33that he's like crawling along the ground with joy and all of that.
00:04:36I will say something, though, with Steve Martin, because I have a little bit of tinnitus in my left ear,
00:04:46sometimes more than a little, but mostly it's just like a two or a three.
00:04:49But Steve Martin got some pretty horrifying tinnitus when he was on the movie set Three Amigos.
00:04:57There was a gun that went off right next to his ear, and it just, you know,
00:05:01it's why you all see these movies, like, shooting and firing and shooting in enclosed areas.
00:05:05Linda Hamilton had it, too, when she was in, I think, Terminator 2.
00:05:08There was a scene in an elevator with a whole bunch of enclosed gunfire,
00:05:12and she forgot to put on her ear protection, and it just, you know, messed up her ears.
00:05:16Will.i.am has it from the music business and so on.
00:05:20And I think, I don't know, but it seems to me that a lot of the joy and vim and
00:05:27goofy humor
00:05:28went out of Steve Martin, perhaps, I mean, in sort of the last couple of decades.
00:05:33It could be due to tinnitus.
00:05:34It could be due to something else.
00:05:37He was very funny in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, a movie role.
00:05:40Well, actually, Michael Caine only did that movie because he figured it was a free vacation in the south of
00:05:45France.
00:05:46So it was kind of funny, not a bad way to do it.
00:05:48So, yeah, I think he's funny.
00:05:49He's quite absurdist.
00:05:51His writing, I found, to be quite moving in his autobiography when he went back to the theater
00:05:56that he used to do a lot of his early work in, and there was a certain sort of warmth
00:06:01and all of that.
00:06:02And I found him to be, you know, kind of goofy and funny.
00:06:06His stand-up was really well done.
00:06:08You know, the banjo playing as well.
00:06:10I would listen to his banjo playing, always expecting something funny to happen,
00:06:14but it didn't because he's a very good banjo player.
00:06:16But I would say, you know, the tough thing, really the very tough thing,
00:06:20in any creative endeavor, is sustainability.
00:06:26And it's something that, I think it was Jean Cleese many years ago,
00:06:29who said that, in your creativity, you get 15 years, if you're lucky.
00:06:35You know, you get 15 years, and then you are on the downward slope of your creativity.
00:06:42And, of course, when was the last time someone like Paul McCartney had a hit,
00:06:48or, you know, I guess any of the Beatles.
00:06:51And, you know, what did the Eagles do for the last, you know, 10 years of their existence?
00:06:55And even Bob Dylan, when he was being interviewed by that guy from 60 Minutes,
00:07:02was saying, you know, like, I can't do the stuff that I did.
00:07:04I can do other things, but I can't do all of the creative stuff that I did when I was
00:07:08younger.
00:07:09And I think the last new Bob Dylan song I had was on one of the Traveling Wilburys albums.
00:07:15I remember listening to it when I was going to theater school, and it was just like,
00:07:18God, this is horrible.
00:07:19This is, like, just terrible, wretched, low, trash stuff.
00:07:23I mean, even Jacob Dylan, his son, the lead singer of The Wallflowers,
00:07:27had, like, one good album, as far as I know,
00:07:29and with One Headlight, it's a very good song.
00:07:34But again, it's just so sad and dismal and depressing and all of that.
00:07:40So, how do you keep your creativity going?
00:07:43The last thing I saw Steve Martin pop up in was Murder in the Building or something like that
00:07:48with Martin Short and Wizards of Waverly Place, Selma, I can't remember her name,
00:07:55but, I mean, it just seemed kind of depressing.
00:08:01And I don't know, how do you keep the joy going?
00:08:04How do you keep the creativity going?
00:08:06I would have a very tough time, I think, I would have a very tough time getting out of bed
00:08:13if I couldn't do the brain dance, if I couldn't, you know, get great questions
00:08:19and just feel that furnace, that fire, that lava, that lightning strike,
00:08:27that tsunami of problem solving.
00:08:30You know, I had a caller ask me for an analysis of the prodigal son,
00:08:34so I went and refreshed myself on it and then just riffed on it for like an hour,
00:08:38and it's just so much fun.
00:08:39It is an absolute joyful, catapult, high-wire act playground of a brain to be living in.
00:08:47And if that shut down, as it seems to for a lot of people,
00:08:52you know, people would say to Michael Jackson, you know, like,
00:08:55well, where do your songs come from?
00:08:56And he's like, I don't know, they just come to me.
00:09:00Roger Hodgson said the same thing about the Logical Song.
00:09:02It just assembled itself in its brain.
00:09:04Paul McCartney dreamt the tune to Yesterday, woke up and, you know,
00:09:09would play it to everyone saying, have you heard this before?
00:09:12And nobody knows where this kind of creative stuff comes from because, of course,
00:09:16as songwriters say, in particular, if I knew where the good songs came from,
00:09:22I'd go back there more often.
00:09:24And trying to keep that flame and fire of creativity alive,
00:09:29if you have that creativity, to me, seems one of the most essential tasks in the world.
00:09:34And to maintain that fire, it's like carrying a candle through a blizzard to keep your creativity alive.
00:09:44I don't think Steve Martin has done it.
00:09:46I've read one of his novels, sort of a semi-science fiction novel.
00:09:49It's pretty bad.
00:09:50I read Shop Girl, and it was pretty bland.
00:09:54No vim and vinegar in it.
00:09:57No passion, no enthusiasm, no energy.
00:10:01And, I mean, I myself have written like 20 books, a bunch of them have been novels,
00:10:05and I am constantly coming up with new ideas and new arguments.
00:10:12And I love that creativity, that's meat and drink for me, that's oxygen to my lungs.
00:10:18And I don't know how people create it.
00:10:20Now, of course, obviously, people like Bob Dylan and Steve Martin achieve just a tiny bit more fame
00:10:26than I did, so I don't know what that's like, being in that kind of creative space or endeavor.
00:10:33Martin Short, of course, had this absolutely wretched, tragic, horrifying life.
00:10:38Rick Moranis also, wife, died of cancer, and he basically retired from acting to raise his kids.
00:10:42I think he's coming back a little bit now.
00:10:45Joe Flaherty, who was in SCTV, and I was watching Freaks and Geeks,
00:10:51and they keep having this Count Chocula, because he played this funny Count.
00:10:56Count Chocula is on the table, a sort of homage to his SCTV days.
00:10:59And how do you keep that level of fire and creativity alive?
00:11:03That, to me, is really one of the most essential tasks that I have.
00:11:06How do you be engaging?
00:11:08How do you keep the passion alive?
00:11:09How do you keep pushing forward to new heights and new options and new possibilities?
00:11:14I think if you can sustain creativity, and I suppose, I mean, I was creative in the business world
00:11:22from a marketing, sales, and technology standpoint,
00:11:25but it wasn't the sort of artistic creativity that I had before and after.
00:11:31And I think my most recent novel called Dissolution I was very happy with,
00:11:36and everybody should check it out.
00:11:38It's free at freedomain.com slash books.
00:11:40And I feel like I can still do it, you know, whether people agree or not.
00:11:44You know, a lot of people put out bands.
00:11:46A lot of bands put out music that just gets worse and worse.
00:11:49You know, I listened to the last Paul McCartney album.
00:11:51It was absolutely wretched.
00:11:53I listened to the last Yes album.
00:11:54Yes was a band that I absolutely loved when I was younger and still love some of their stuff.
00:11:59But yeah, the new stuff is just absolute trash.
00:12:03And it's the same thing.
00:12:04Alan Parsons had a very big peak creativity stuff.
00:12:07Pyramid is an absolutely fantastic album, as is Eye in the Sky.
00:12:11And then it just got bad and cliched and terrible.
00:12:16I don't know how it is that bands don't know when to stop,
00:12:19or maybe they just get so many sycophants around them that nobody says,
00:12:23no, this is bad.
00:12:25No, you can do way better than this.
00:12:27And of course, Alan Parsons had, what was it?
00:12:31Eric Wolfson was the primary writer.
00:12:33A guy who was a Jewish guy, very creative.
00:12:36He was going to go to be an accountant, and he got a job as an accountant.
00:12:41And the accountant manager, the guy who managed him, said,
00:12:43look, man, if you can do anything else, please go and do it,
00:12:46because you can't do accounting to save your life.
00:12:48You're terrible.
00:12:48So he ended up writing, you know, very impressive, quasi, like Mike Batstyle,
00:12:53quasi, or Mike Oldfield maybe, but quasi classical,
00:12:56like classical with rock guitars and drums, like Tarot Suite and so on.
00:13:00And amazing, amazing stuff.
00:13:02But how do you keep that creativity going?
00:13:04I was reading that Eric Wolfson himself was a raging alcoholic,
00:13:07but I haven't found a lot of confirmation about that.
00:13:10Almost, you know, Sting.
00:13:11I listened to Sting's last album.
00:13:13His voice is somewhat short.
00:13:14He also has bad tinnitus.
00:13:15He used to have hearing aids, but he said he preferred not being able to hear
00:13:19what people had to say.
00:13:20And so, yeah, how do you keep that creativity alive?
00:13:23How do you keep it going?
00:13:24It's really, really tough.
00:13:26And most, of course, most artists, which is not me, of course, right?
00:13:30But most artists, what they do is they get a couple of albums of hits.
00:13:34I remember many years ago when I was in the business world,
00:13:36I was giving a presentation at a conference in New York City,
00:13:39and I went to go and see Bare Naked Ladies.
00:13:41And it was a very good concert, but all of their songs were way old.
00:13:45You know, they haven't written anything that I know of or have heard of at all.
00:13:51And so, yeah, just trying to keep that flame alive is really, really tough.
00:13:54Most artists, a couple of good albums, so they can just tour for the rest of their lives.
00:13:58They can just go and tour and, you know, play that old song, you know,
00:14:01play Radio Free Europe, just like it's on the record.
00:14:04Don't do anything weird and jazzy with it.
00:14:05Don't screw it up.
00:14:06Just play that.
00:14:07And then people just go for the nostalgia tour and so on.
00:14:11And I don't have that luxury.
00:14:14Like, I can't just, you know, put out my old shows and get people to come.
00:14:18So I got to keep coming up with new stuff,
00:14:20which is keeping the wheels turning, keeping the energy going.
00:14:25And then you don't end up like, you know, Queen had a couple of great albums.
00:14:28And then the last couple of albums were mostly us as a whole.
00:14:32And you're not creative.
00:14:34I mean, it's a long way down from Bohemian Rhapsody to the song Freddie Mercury
00:14:38wrote about his cat called Delilah.
00:14:40I remember listening to that song for the first time.
00:14:43And it sounds like a love song.
00:14:44Delilah, I love you.
00:14:45I love you.
00:14:45And then he says, and then you make me slightly mad when you pee all over my
00:14:49Chippendale suite.
00:14:49And I'm like, and then you've got the backup, like the, I guess, the drummer
00:14:56and the guitarist, Roger and Brian, the guitarist is making meow sounds on his
00:15:04guitar.
00:15:05And then all of the singers that were doing Bohemian Rhapsody and The Prophet
00:15:10Song and Queen 2 and March of the Black Queen, they're going meow in the
00:15:15background.
00:15:16And I'm like, man, that's a long way down, man.
00:15:19It's a long way down from the heights of Bohemian Rhapsody to here's a song about
00:15:24cat pee.
00:15:24It's funny because All Dead, All Dead, which is a beautiful song off the game.
00:15:31No, not the game.
00:15:32News of the World.
00:15:34Absolutely beautiful song written by Brian May.
00:15:38Lyrics are fantastic.
00:15:39And it is about a cat, but it's got some depth and medieval meaning to it.
00:15:43It's about a cat that died when he was very young.
00:15:46So I just really, really am very desperate.
00:15:49You know, I've been doing philosophy for 45 years.
00:15:52I've been doing it publicly for 21 years.
00:15:54I'm already six past my, six years past my expiration date of 15 years of peak
00:15:57creativity.
00:15:58But man alive, do I ever want to keep things going?
00:16:02Man alive, do I ever need that fire?
00:16:05That is my reason for treading the heavy gravity of this M-class planet.
00:16:14So, yeah, sorry.
00:16:15That's, and some of these sort of playfulness and twists and turns of Steve Martin's comedy
00:16:20were fantastic.
00:16:22You know, I'm sure you've heard the bit about, you know, that he tries to impress a woman by
00:16:26his stock trading acumen and he's like, yeah, I'm a heavy into cardboard, like cardboard.
00:16:33You know, I, uh, I, I, I, I trade it, you know, quite a bit.
00:16:37And, uh, yeah, I, uh, bought it at, uh, two cents a ton.
00:16:44It's now at six cents a ton.
00:16:48I brought three tons of it and, uh, well, you do the math and, and I made a special deal
00:16:56where I only have to keep two tons of it at my house.
00:16:59Like that's just, that's genius.
00:17:01That's absolutely gut-wrenching genius stuff.
00:17:04Yeah.
00:17:05The, the stereo skit Googleplex, this sounds like shit.
00:17:08Hey, maybe it's the needle and just brilliant stuff.
00:17:12The, uh, um, I want a million dollars.
00:17:14I want to get away car.
00:17:15Cause he says you always have to put a crazy demand in your demands.
00:17:18If you've got a hostage so that they'll, you can get the insanity defense.
00:17:22And he's like, I want a million dollars.
00:17:25I want to get away car.
00:17:26And I want the letter M stricken from the English language.
00:17:32Getaway car.
00:17:33You know, it's just really good, funny, twisty, turny stuff.
00:17:36And of course he was a very good actor and, and so on.
00:17:40So, yeah, I mean, uh, he's one of these people, you know, cause they're all
00:17:45dropping dead these days, right?
00:17:46All the people from your youth, you know, somehow we still think we're going to
00:17:49evade it, but, uh, all the people from my youth kind of dropping dead.
00:17:52He's not, I don't think in any way sick and he seems to be pretty healthy and so on.
00:17:57But where's the fire?
00:17:58Where's the creativity?
00:17:59Where's the new albums?
00:18:00Where's the, you got to keep working these muscles.
00:18:04I will not ever, ever try to rest on my laurels.
00:18:07I will always assume every show is a new show.
00:18:11Every time I talk to people, I got to give something new.
00:18:15You know, that there's all these political guys on, I guess on the left end, on the
00:18:18right, it's the same damn show over and over again.
00:18:21I mean, Bill O'Reilly.
00:18:22Oh my God.
00:18:23It's the same show over again.
00:18:24Mark Levin, our same show over and over again.
00:18:25Sean Hannity is the worst of these things.
00:18:27It's just copy, paste, copy, paste, copy, paste.
00:18:29Watching him lick the butt crack of Mark Levin.
00:18:34Oh, the great one.
00:18:34I was like, oh, could you imagine going on a show and someone called, oh, the great
00:18:37one.
00:18:37Oh, you're the great one.
00:18:38It's like, ah, not been you sycophantic court.
00:18:40Tony, it's vile.
00:18:41Well, even if you've got a Cro-Magnon forehead, like a beat down low rent hedgerow.
00:18:47But anyway, it's, it's just, I couldn't, I couldn't do the same show over again.
00:18:52I just couldn't.
00:18:53I would rather, I'd rather be a plumber or a gardener or a tiler.
00:18:56I would rather be anything than do that, that same show over and over again.
00:19:00And so for me, the fact that I get questions like this and I get all of this variety and
00:19:04I get all of these challenges and people come up with new stuff for me to masticate over
00:19:09in my mind and that develops new muscles, which then hopefully propels me to even better
00:19:13speeches and forth.
00:19:15It's great.
00:19:16And so I, yeah, Steve Martin, very funny guy.
00:19:20You know, did he add to the virtue of the world?
00:19:22Nah, not really.
00:19:22But you know, entertainers are entertaining and it's up to me to do that, if that makes
00:19:27sense.
00:19:27Sorry, long speech.
00:19:28I hope that makes some sense to you.
00:19:30Yeah, absolutely.
00:19:31I mean, that's great.
00:19:33I think it's kind of interesting for me, at least, for my opinion, that as children, when
00:19:39we're born, I would say this is probably true for every child, that we're born with
00:19:45like intense curiosity.
00:19:46That's like the default state of mind that we, as we progress, we get more curious and
00:19:53then it just gets beaten out of us if we're lucky.
00:19:56And I think that creativity and, sorry, not creativity, curiosity, my mistake.
00:20:02We're born with intense curiosity and then that leads to, if it's maintained, it leads
00:20:10to creativity.
00:20:11But for so many of us, it gets, you know, not beaten out of us literally.
00:20:15I don't mean like physically beaten out of us, but it's a difficult thing to maintain,
00:20:21cure curiosity.
00:20:23And if you do maintain it, then I would say you're kind of one of the lucky ones, I think.
00:20:29You know, I include myself in this.
00:20:30I'm intensely curious and I won't say I'm necessarily intensely creative, but I'm somewhat
00:20:39creative.
00:20:39But curiosity, I think, is linked with creativity.
00:20:43What do you think of that?
00:20:44Yeah, I think that's true.
00:20:45And I don't know if you have had kids, but if you have kids, and I tend to be pretty,
00:20:50social around kids, you know, if I'm at a park, I'll get a game going, if that's what
00:20:55my daughter wanted.
00:20:56And she generally did.
00:20:57And also, I'm aware she's an only child, so we've kind of got to get the socialized
00:21:01stuff going.
00:21:03So when my daughter was young and we would go to parks or swimming pools, I would get
00:21:11a game going and I'd talk to the parents, say, is it okay, blah, blah, blah.
00:21:14I worked in a daycare and, you know, they're usually fine with it because they're all
00:21:17new phones and new phones.
00:21:18So we'd go to play parks and beaches and I would get games going.
00:21:24Because for me, games are great fun and I wanted my daughter to get sort of the team
00:21:29experience and the playing with other kids experience.
00:21:31So I'd get games going.
00:21:34And when the kids are young, they go fluidly, straight, no hesitation, like walking through
00:21:41an archway, they go into creative land.
00:21:44And, you know, you're a dragon, you're a knight, you're a princess, you're this, you're
00:21:47straight, like no hesitation, no self-consciousness.
00:21:50They go straight in, boom, greased lightning.
00:21:53It's like a luge.
00:21:55And they go straight in.
00:21:56And then you can see it's very sad.
00:21:58Very sad.
00:21:59As they get older, they get older.
00:22:01Yep.
00:22:02What happens?
00:22:03They start to get a little bit more self-conscious, a little bit more hesitant, a little bit more,
00:22:07ah, you know, is it the right way?
00:22:08Is it the wrong way?
00:22:09You know, younger kids just go skating straight into it.
00:22:11They're just like, like, like you see those people running down at that cheese, running
00:22:14down the hill at the cheese festival or whatever it is.
00:22:16It's like, boom, they just, you almost have to slow them down.
00:22:19But as they get older, they get more self-critical.
00:22:22They get more self-conscious.
00:22:24They can't surrender themselves to the moment and be creative in the instant.
00:22:29They have to judge themselves.
00:22:31They get this observing ego that harshly criticizes them.
00:22:35And, uh, they call, they get the eye of Sauron, you know, this big, fiery eye, just staring
00:22:39down at them and you're, it's not funny enough.
00:22:41Oh, that's not good enough.
00:22:43And you have to suspend that stuff.
00:22:45Creativity is about like, I'm not going to judge right now.
00:22:49I'm just, I'm get it down and get it right.
00:22:51I'm not going to judge it right now.
00:22:52I'm just going to throw myself completely into it.
00:22:54I'll judge it later, whatever, you know, I'll do my edits or whatever, but I'm going
00:22:57to just do it now and throw myself into it.
00:23:00Uh, no hesitation, no barriers, no boundaries, whatever comes out is fine.
00:23:05I can always tweak it later if I need to.
00:23:07And that creativity is just drowned out of children.
00:23:14I think mostly it's government schools.
00:23:17Um, and maybe older siblings, that's cringe, you know, because people want to get you to
00:23:22view yourself through a cynical and denigrating lens.
00:23:25They want you to rip your soul and heart right out of your brain and put it in this caustic
00:23:30death star orbit around you so that you have to judge yourself as cringe, as embarrassing,
00:23:37as too enthusiastic, as too energetic, as too creative, uh, and so on.
00:23:42Like, oh, that's kid stuff, you know?
00:23:43And, and you just get this stuff ground, ground out of you.
00:23:47And, and this is not just my, my guesswork.
00:23:50I mean, we know this, we know this for a fact because the studies are children's creativity
00:23:54and happiness, every, it's dose dependent, every single year they're in government schools,
00:23:59it goes down, it goes down.
00:24:01And then you get the soul and the life and the creativity and the joy and the, and the
00:24:07spinal fluid of serendipity just gets shamed, embarrassed, laughed at.
00:24:15And of course the older kids participate, the older kids pile on the younger kids and
00:24:18laugh at them and that's kid stuff.
00:24:19And you need to outgrow that and that's ridiculous.
00:24:21And, you know, who do you think you are?
00:24:23And that's so cringe and, and all that kind of stuff.
00:24:25And all of that play, all of that energy, all of that creativity, all of that joy, just,
00:24:30you know, it's like sand in the hourglass, just down, down.
00:24:37And then by the time you get to college, well, by the time you get to your mid, late teens,
00:24:42what does everyone want to do?
00:24:43They want to do drugs.
00:24:44They want to be promiscuous and they want to drink alcohol.
00:24:48They just want to escape.
00:24:49Right.
00:24:50So they set this eye of Sauron on you, this eye of Sauron, just blisters down on all of
00:24:55your potential.
00:24:56And then people get socially anxious.
00:24:59They get depressed.
00:24:59And then they have to drink just to, I view all alcohol is just that you're pouring water
00:25:05on the eye of Sauron just to shut it up for a bit.
00:25:08Just stop looking at me that way.
00:25:10Eye of Sauron.
00:25:11Just stop looking at me, looking down at me all the time.
00:25:14I can't stand it, douse it in alcohol, drown it in sex, drown it in, like, you blow your
00:25:19marijuana smoke and it retreats for a little bit.
00:25:21And of course it bursts back into flame.
00:25:23It comes back sometimes stronger than ever.
00:25:25But people are just on that dance with the eye of Sauron.
00:25:27Keep it away.
00:25:28Keep it away.
00:25:28Keep it away.
00:25:29Just give me five minutes of not being self-conscious, of not judging myself, of not criticizing myself,
00:25:35of not thinking that I'm not funny enough, of not thinking that I'm not insightful
00:25:38enough, of not thinking that I'm not cool enough.
00:25:40Just stop, stop it.
00:25:42And people just, this eye of Sauron, this clause is raking people constantly.
00:25:46And they just do anything, video games, porn, drugs, sex, alcohol, noise, anything to shut
00:25:57that tyrant up, to shut that eye of Sauron up that looks at you like you're ridiculous
00:26:01and cringe and pointless and worthless.
00:26:04That sneering elder brother, put down, look down.
00:26:09And I saw this in the sort of grim march forward in time.
00:26:14And it is my goal, to a large degree, to try and keep that alive in people as best I
00:26:20can.
00:26:21Sorry, again, long speech.
00:26:22All yours.
00:26:23No, absolutely.
00:26:24I mean, I 100% agree with you on this.
00:26:27You know, the importance of peaceful parenting, I would say.
00:26:31I'm not a parent, but, you know, I'm old now.
00:26:33You know that.
00:26:34I'm an old guy.
00:26:35But as far as children go, like, I find it just astounding how children are just sort
00:26:44of like taken for granted or, you know, just, they're the most important thing we have because
00:26:51they're going to be the future generation, right?
00:26:53So, if we can't invest in our children, or not my children, but if, you know, then what
00:27:01do you hope?
00:27:01What are you going to hope for that?
00:27:02What hope do you have?
00:27:03If you don't have that hope, I don't know what hope you can possibly have for our future
00:27:11generations.
00:27:12Yeah, and if the goal is to evacuate your sense of humor and joy and replace it with
00:27:20caustic cynicism, because cynicism holds no threat, contains no threat to the powers
00:27:27that be.
00:27:28However, laughter and joy definitely do.
00:27:31Yeah.
00:27:32Because if you're happy, then you notice when the powers that be are trying to make you
00:27:36unhappy.
00:27:36If you're already miserable, you don't care.
00:27:38In fact, you're probably going to join in.
00:27:39So, the purpose is to destroy the spontaneous joy and creativity of human beings so that
00:27:46they don't notice when you enslave them bit by boiling frog bit.
00:27:52You know, it's, I totally agree.
00:27:55It's incredible how children, how perceptive they are.
00:28:01Now, I just want to give you a quick example here of something that happened to me, this
00:28:05is a number of summers ago.
00:28:07So, my friend, her brother had brought his kids over.
00:28:11We had this sort of paddling pool, inflatable paddling pool set up on the back, and they
00:28:17came over, there's four kids, and they all get into the paddling pool.
00:28:21And then, I don't know how I, where I came up with this idea.
00:28:25I can't remember.
00:28:25But I thought, oh, I'm going to make something funny happen here.
00:28:29Anyway, so I put, I went to the show.
00:28:31I got a vest on, like, you know, one of those safety vests, and a hard hat, and a clipboard.
00:28:38And then I went, and a whistle.
00:28:40And I went in, and they didn't see me, and I blew the whistle.
00:28:44And then I came over, and I said, what are you doing in this paddling?
00:28:48What are you doing in this, but do you have a permit for this?
00:28:51And immediately, they, I'm not, immediately, they switched on to how funny, like this, in
00:28:58this game, you know?
00:29:00And then I kept going, do you have a permit for this?
00:29:02I need to see a permit for this.
00:29:03And they were just so laughing, and into the whole thing.
00:29:08And they were just responding back, like, this is a brand new game.
00:29:12And it was just beautiful, you know?
00:29:14It was so beautiful to see how smart and perceptive their brains are, you know, their
00:29:22minds were, right?
00:29:23And it kind of, you know, it was wonderful, a wonderful experience.
00:29:27But it's also kind of, for me at least, it's sort of, like, tragic.
00:29:33Because I know, like, really kind of what their home life is like.
00:29:37And, you know, and I just think, oh, my God, look how easy it is.
00:29:40Look how easy.
00:29:41Like, it didn't cost me a penny, it didn't cost me anything.
00:29:45It cost me, like, 10, 15 minutes of my time.
00:29:47But the payback for that is, you can't put a price on it.
00:29:53And it's so easy.
00:29:55Like, it doesn't take hard, you don't have to be a genius or anything to come up with
00:29:59how to make fun, how to make some fun time with kids.
00:30:02It's so easy.
00:30:05And it just breaks my heart when I just see that being just sort of thrown away.
00:30:11Well, it's, uh, it's like that fairly tragic picture of all the kids' bikes on the front
00:30:20lawn at night.
00:30:21And it says, you know, when you were a kid, when you were in your early teens, maybe mid-teens,
00:30:28you and your friends went out at night for the last time.
00:30:32You didn't know it was the last time.
00:30:34Right.
00:30:35But that's what happened.
00:30:36Some, some things, you know, like high school, it's the end of high school, junior high, it's
00:30:40the end of, you know, but you know, you go out and you mean to do it again.
00:30:43Okay.
00:30:44But whatever, someone gets a girlfriend and whatever it is.
00:30:47Right.
00:30:49And it's the last time.
00:30:50I mean, and my friends and I as a teenager got together to play Dungeons and Dragons,
00:30:53which was a huge blast and taught me a lot about creativity and imagination and role-playing
00:31:00and world-building, uh, you know, you, you are, we'll, you know, we'll get together
00:31:04or blah, blah, blah, but, but you don't for whatever reason.
00:31:07Right.
00:31:09And yeah, it's the same thing with your original joy and creativity.
00:31:17It gets scared by disapproval and content and you let it go a little bit, let it go, suppress
00:31:26it a little bit.
00:31:26And then that last creative impulse you have for most people, it's in their early mid teens,
00:31:33that last creative impulse you have, you shame it once too many times.
00:31:37You put it down once too many times.
00:31:39You leave it unacknowledged once too many times.
00:31:41You suppress it and choke it one too many times and it dies and that's the last time
00:31:46you get a potent, powerful, funny, in vitalizing creative impulse of thought.
00:31:54And it's dead.
00:31:55And that's what I see in, in modern music and movies and TV shows.
00:32:01It's just dead.
00:32:02It's, it's, it's just, it's all locked or conformity to leftist propaganda.
00:32:07And it's all there to program you and the entire purpose of art these days is to completely
00:32:12go counter to your lived experience and to, because most people live in media and that's
00:32:17the matrix, right?
00:32:18They live in media and they, you know, they, they, they look at immigrants through the media.
00:32:23They look at migrants through the media.
00:32:24They don't go to these places and actually interact with people.
00:32:28So yeah, the entire purpose of the media is to tell you that, uh, evil is good and good
00:32:34is evil to replace all of your natural instincts bequeathed to you by your ancestors.
00:32:38So, uh, and there's no creativity in that.
00:32:41It's all just manipulation and control.
00:32:44All right.
00:32:44Is there anything else you wanted to mention?
00:32:45We've got a couple other people who wish you could check.
00:32:47No, thanks so much, Stefan.
00:32:48I thoroughly enjoyed that.
00:32:49Thank you so much.
00:32:50I appreciate it.
00:32:52All right.
00:32:53We've got somebody.
00:32:56Uh, no, that's not what I'm looking for.
00:32:58Sorry.
00:32:59I'll, I'll pretend I can do this without my glasses.
00:33:02I used to be able to, oh, well, I didn't really need glasses.
00:33:05So I was in my forties.
00:33:06So I'm not going to complain too, too much.
00:33:08All right.
00:33:10Brandon, you'll be up in just a sec.
00:33:12There we go.
00:33:13And it's all yours, my friend.
00:33:15If you want to unmute, I'm happy to hear what's on your mind.
00:33:20Hey, Steph, can you hear me?
00:33:21Sir.
00:33:22Hey, um, I don't want to.
00:33:25Did you, I don't know if this topic is too long for the live special, but I was on an
00:33:28episode of yours about a year and a half ago.
00:33:30I had like the divorce from hell situation.
00:33:33Um, if you didn't mind, I was happy to just give you an update, see if you had any feedback
00:33:37or advice.
00:33:38Do you remember the show number?
00:33:40Uh, I don't remember the show number, but I remember it would have been November of
00:33:442025.
00:33:45I think it was titled divorce from hell.
00:33:47I basically had the Ukrainian refugee, uh, spouse.
00:33:53All right.
00:33:54Let me just get the show title here.
00:33:56Boom, boom.
00:33:59Uh, Hmm.
00:34:02All right.
00:34:02Let's see here.
00:34:03Oh, like our sorting mechanism is not going quite.
00:34:06All right.
00:34:07Death by divorce.
00:34:08Let me just see here.
00:34:11Excuse me.
00:34:20Oh, that is really, uh, Oh, there we go.
00:34:23You just have to click on that.
00:34:24All right.
00:34:26Okay.
00:34:27Well, you, uh, tell me a little bit about the call just to remind people and then we'll
00:34:32get a, uh, a catch up.
00:34:34Yeah, no problem at all.
00:34:35So, um, yeah, I called in, I basically, uh, raced into a marriage with the wrong person,
00:34:42uh, for being pretty and kind of settling for just the fact that she wanted a long-term
00:34:49relationship and kids eventually, and I was overlooking a lot of important characteristics
00:34:53and we kind of talked about, um, you know, how my, my situation with my family could have,
00:34:59uh, led to, to that, uh, to kind of me settling and, and not being transparent enough.
00:35:06Uh, at the time, I think this was before my annulment was finalized.
00:35:10So I think after I called in, uh, her parents did steal a bunch of stuff from my house.
00:35:15Uh, eventually she did sign the annulment paperwork.
00:35:17So they got completely annulled.
00:35:19And then since then I did hire, like I did see a therapist and I did also get some, some
00:35:26relationship coaching.
00:35:28Uh, and I have been dating since then.
00:35:30Um, I don't know if I included enough detail to kind of jog your memory on.
00:35:35Was it, was it annulled?
00:35:36It was successfully annulled as of April, 2025.
00:35:40So almost exactly a year ago, it was completely annulled.
00:35:43Okay.
00:35:43All right.
00:35:44So what's been happening since?
00:35:48Uh, so I guess the big takeaway that you gave me on the call was that I didn't have enough
00:35:54people in my life that were, uh, there to keep me astray, um, or to, to kind of talk
00:36:01me out of stuff, um, in terms of my relationships.
00:36:04And that was kind of a perspective I hadn't thought about and one that was really useful
00:36:10I found.
00:36:11So after that, I want to say anywhere, uh, like a few months later, I kind of got back
00:36:18into the dating market.
00:36:19Um, I did, it's kind of cringy to even admit it, but you know, I did hire like a relationship
00:36:23coach that was, um, kind of going to give me some, some pointers and strategies on finding
00:36:29a solid relationship.
00:36:31Um, and also I just, I had a close friend that I just kept in the loop, um, on my
00:36:37dating
00:36:37experiences and try to get feedback on whether or not I was, you know, settling for somebody
00:36:43who just looked to the part or, um, yeah, I'm trying to think what else.
00:36:50Um, that was, that was the biggest change that I made personally though.
00:36:53I mean, I did move back to America, so that was, that was nice because just demographics
00:36:57are a little bit more conservative here than they were in Europe.
00:37:03Um, I don't know if I gave, yeah.
00:37:05Was that enough information or do you need me to continue?
00:37:07No, that's, that's fine.
00:37:08Uh, what's, um, what is it that, uh, you wanted to chat about today?
00:37:13Um, I just wanted to see if you had, uh, I mean, so I'm, I'm currently, currently talking
00:37:19to somebody right now.
00:37:20Um, and I, I mean, it's only been like two months is fortunately, unfortunately it's a
00:37:26long distance.
00:37:27Um, but I'm doing something that I didn't do last time and, and called you, um, I guess
00:37:32early on.
00:37:33So I wanted to see if you had anything I should keep in mind or, uh, consider as I'm kind
00:37:41of
00:37:41dating again, following an annulment.
00:37:43All right.
00:37:44And what are your ages?
00:37:46So the current person I'm talking to is 25 and I'm 27, almost 28.
00:37:51So she's about two and a half years younger.
00:37:53And how far away is she?
00:37:55Uh, right now she's in, well, I don't, I won't say the States, but she's about, she's
00:38:00about like a two hour flight away from where I'm at.
00:38:03So how are you going to get together?
00:38:06Uh, so she's just going to fly out and she works remote.
00:38:11Uh, so she's going to spend like a week here next month.
00:38:14Oh, I'm going to visit my family.
00:38:16So I'll be out of time, but once I get back, then she's going to come spend a week here.
00:38:21And how long have you been going out?
00:38:24Uh, so we were talking for a few weeks and then at the time she lives in a different place.
00:38:29I went there for the weekend.
00:38:30We went on a few dates over that weekend.
00:38:32And then last weekend we spent a weekend together in my, in my state for the full weekend.
00:38:38And then next month, uh, we plan to spend a week together here.
00:38:43And have you slept together?
00:38:44No, no separate rooms and everything.
00:38:47Okay.
00:38:48Um, she's, she's a, she's a conservative Christian.
00:38:52I got back into that more so myself, especially after the annulment, I've been actively attending
00:38:57church and so we were both pretty upfront about going slow on, on that sort of stuff.
00:39:03What's the least quality voluntary relationship you have in your life?
00:39:08Work doesn't really count, but you know, in terms of people you don't have to have in
00:39:11your life for work reasons, what is your least quality voluntary relationship?
00:39:17Oh, that's a really good question.
00:39:23Um, that's, that's tough.
00:39:25Uh, I'm not going to ask you the easy questions.
00:39:28Yeah, yeah, no, no.
00:39:29Oh no, it's postgraduate.
00:39:31You always come up with, you always come up with questions that are just like so profound,
00:39:34but just like something I would never think of asking myself.
00:39:38Um, least quality voluntary relationship.
00:39:42I'd say like you and me talked about this last time a little bit, but there are some
00:39:47issues I do kind of have with my dad.
00:39:50We kind of, we do kind of butt heads and I'd say we have a quality relationship, but I've
00:39:55just kind of lumped them into a category of like, you know, these are the things that
00:40:00I can get along with him over and these things I just like, you know, I don't want his advice
00:40:04necessarily on certain topics like relationships or money.
00:40:08Like those are the two things that I, so I, I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship
00:40:11with him, but that was kind of a change that I made is, as I, you know, I was like,
00:40:15he's
00:40:15great for, uh, being supportive.
00:40:18He's great for spending time with, but on certain topics, I just, because he had his own challenges
00:40:23in, in his past that were similar to mine, I just try to follow a different path and I
00:40:29just try to avoid those topics altogether with him.
00:40:32Um, so I'd say that one's challenging.
00:40:37Other than that, I don't really have any bad relationships with people.
00:40:40I mean, I have some buddies at work, uh, that I hang out with and I'd say it's pretty
00:40:47service level.
00:40:48I don't confide in them too much, but, um, I, I mean, I enjoy, I feel like I can be
00:40:53honest
00:40:53with them and, and vice versa.
00:40:59Um, maybe the entire art of what I do is trying to figure out when people have finished their
00:41:02thoughts.
00:41:03So it's not your fault.
00:41:04It's just, I'm like, I don't want to interrupt, but I also want to, um, not have too many gaps.
00:41:09All right.
00:41:10So what are the topics you can talk about with your dad?
00:41:13So mainly anything, anything money related.
00:41:16I, I try to, uh, he and I have a different philosophy on money.
00:41:20Um, I don't, I don't think it, I mean, he's not, I don't think he's trying to like sabotage
00:41:25me financially, but I don't think his, I, I mean, I'm kind of more following like, you
00:41:30know, being absolutely debt free, never acquiring debt ever again type thing.
00:41:33Um, he's a little bit more of a spender, I guess.
00:41:38Um, so, and I've told him this repeatedly.
00:41:39I just said, you know, we're going to have to agree to disagree.
00:41:42I don't, I don't, I just don't agree with, with you on, on certain things, uh, financially.
00:41:48Um, it kind of gets annoying sometimes cause he does like to give me like unsolicited device.
00:41:54Um, but I, I keep telling him like, no, like, no, if I want, if I want your opinion,
00:41:59I'll ask you, but I just don't agree.
00:42:01Um, I don't know.
00:42:02So you disagree with his spending and his debt?
00:42:06Yeah, he's kind of more, uh, he's just not as aggressive on, uh, cause I'm, I'm trying
00:42:11to do the whole thing where it's like, you know, debt free, pay your helm off early.
00:42:15Uh, you know, 15% go into the market or Bitcoin or whatever.
00:42:19Um, you know, I'm not, I'm trying to avoid at all costs, any sort of like big purchase
00:42:25that's not going to accelerate me getting to where I want to be.
00:42:28And, and he has more of the mindset of like, oh, you've been working hard.
00:42:31You had a rough year, you know, if you get like some tax money, it's not the end of the
00:42:35world to like buy something that you like to celebrate or whatever.
00:42:38So I don't think it, I don't know if it's coming.
00:42:40I don't think it's coming from a bad place, but I just don't, that's how he spends his
00:42:43money, you know?
00:42:44So I just try to avoid that.
00:42:47Well, he also grew up when the economy wasn't a steaming pile of shit in a dog bowl.
00:42:53Yeah.
00:42:53No, you could afford, you could afford your indulgences, uh, back in the day, right?
00:42:58It's like the boomers like, well, you know, just save up for two years and buy a house.
00:43:01It's like, not like that anymore.
00:43:03Gramps.
00:43:04So, yeah, I mean, people's monetary philosophies are largely shaped unthinkingly by their early
00:43:13experiences and it is also to the, to older people, of course, I'm not holding your father
00:43:21responsible for this directly, but for older people, when they look at younger people and
00:43:28realize how hard things are for young people, they feel guilty, but they don't want to admit
00:43:32it.
00:43:32So they try to recreate their own history in the young people as if the world hasn't kind
00:43:37of economically gone to hell in a handbasket in a way.
00:43:41Right.
00:43:42No, no, that's very true.
00:43:43Cause I'll talk to him about like mortgages and stuff and, and how I'm like, no, it's
00:43:48gotta be only a quarter of my income and I gotta be able to pay it off.
00:43:51And then he's kind of more like, uh, you know, he, I do sense that guilt of like, well, you
00:43:55know, it's a, it's a house, it's a meaningful place.
00:43:58Like you should buy a house you like.
00:43:59And there is kind of that element of like a little bit of fantasy as opposed to practicality.
00:44:05Yeah.
00:44:06Yeah.
00:44:06And the other thing too, is that for older parents, I mean, I'm an older parent myself
00:44:13too, for older parents, it's really tough.
00:44:16If you begin to suspect that your opinions are completely irrelevant to your children's
00:44:22circumstances and situation.
00:44:25So of course, anytime I talk about dating on social media, what do people say?
00:44:33They're probably like, Oh, you're not, you know, you're not swiping on hinge and 25 and,
00:44:38and not, you're not, you know, you're only six feet and like six, six foot one.
00:44:41And so, yeah, it's like, listen, Gramps, when you were dating in the Jurassic Park era,
00:44:48things were a little bit different.
00:44:49You could just present a young Philly Neanderthal with a dino egg and you'd be good to bang out
00:44:55six kids before dawn.
00:44:56Right.
00:44:57So, yeah, I mean, so there is this concern and you either keep up with the young people
00:45:02and ask them their experience and do the, do your research.
00:45:05Like, just look at the, the, the price of houses versus after tax income.
00:45:11And just, you know, you, you know, the graph as well as I do probably better that the price
00:45:15of everything is just going through the roof and real wages have stagnated since the 19 fricking
00:45:20seventies that you need to make a hundred thousand dollars now per year to have the same earning
00:45:28power as a guy who worked at McDonald's as a teenager in 1970.
00:45:34And people don't want to look at that and say, what the hell happened?
00:45:39What did we do?
00:45:40How did we shaft the young?
00:45:42We've got, they've got no purchasing power, colossal debt, endless unfunded liabilities.
00:45:49And people don't want to look and say, well, the system that I've approved of and cheered
00:45:53for and voted in is devouring the young.
00:45:58We have an Aztec bloody heart before the evil gods sacrifice of children economy.
00:46:07And people don't want to look at that.
00:46:09They want to somehow pretend that's, it's kind of the same as when I was younger.
00:46:13Yeah, it's different.
00:46:14There's AI, but it's kind of the same.
00:46:16It's like, but it's not, it's not the same.
00:46:18And you've got to be much more nimble, much more creative and debt in the past was a launch
00:46:24pad debt right now is often, it's quicksand and that's just changed brutally.
00:46:31So yeah, it is.
00:46:32I was reading this thing and somebody ran this through AI, like, okay, let's say there's
00:46:37some Indian immigrant and some native domestic, whatever, indigenous American, you know, some
00:46:43white guy or whoever, right?
00:46:44And they both want to buy a gas station.
00:46:47I mean, there's in America, there's like $200,000 of relatively cheap loans available
00:46:51to the immigrant that aren't available to the domestic population.
00:46:54It's completely insane.
00:46:57And so people don't want to look at that and say, what the hell has gone wrong with the
00:47:01system that new arrivals get vastly superior opportunities and offers than people who grew
00:47:10up and whose parents built the country and blah, blah, blah.
00:47:13And so, yeah, people don't want to look at the system and see how screwed up it is.
00:47:17So they take some of the optimism of their own youth and they apply it to the young now.
00:47:23And this is the, I'm not saying your dad's, this is the boomer, lift yourself up by your
00:47:28bootstraps, just like I did stuff.
00:47:29It's like, you all took the ladder up when you went up.
00:47:31And now it's a wasteland of gig work and crypto crossed fingers and all this sort of nonsense.
00:47:40And they don't want to look at how bad the system is.
00:47:43So they just pretend that their advice still matters.
00:47:47Yeah, no, I think that's really true.
00:47:49And kind of an interesting point to what you were saying about how like, you know, trends
00:47:53and like whether it's finances or the dating market and stuff.
00:47:56What I found through my coaching was that a lot of the stuff that used to work is actually
00:48:02still really effective now.
00:48:03And it's stuff that I wasn't doing too well.
00:48:04Like, for example, being assertive and being decisive and communicating interests in a confident
00:48:11and forward way.
00:48:12Like, I mean, it sounds like really basic stuff, but for me, just getting better at doing that
00:48:16made a huge difference.
00:48:19And so, I mean, I want to say, yeah, I went out with probably four girls or so before I
00:48:24met the one I'm talking to now.
00:48:26And it was kind of, I mean, I even told my coach, I was like, I'm almost about to take
00:48:32a break from dating for a while just because I'm so disappointed by it.
00:48:35But now I'm talking to somebody that's really rock solid so far.
00:48:40I guess time will tell how it plays out.
00:48:42Okay, so do you want her parents to be intimately involved in the raising of your children?
00:48:52Um, do you mean in terms of like kind of disciplinary stuff or do you just mean like, you know,
00:48:56showing
00:48:56up at the sports games and like, uh, like, you know, seeing the children a lot or, uh, yeah,
00:49:04what do you mean exactly?
00:49:08I mean, do you want your girlfriend's parents to have authority and be around your children?
00:49:17Um, I think, I think that really depends.
00:49:20Uh, I haven't, I haven't met them yet.
00:49:22I mean, I'll.
00:49:23No, but you have her report of them.
00:49:26Yeah.
00:49:26Uh, she speaks pretty highly of her parents of both of them.
00:49:29Um, yeah, I mean, she speaks highly of them if they, if they, if their values matched
00:49:35mine and I felt that they would be kind of supplemental towards my own parenting, then
00:49:39I wouldn't be opposed to it.
00:49:41Okay.
00:49:41So she has good parents.
00:49:43Yeah.
00:49:44She's, uh, she says really positive things about them.
00:49:48Um, she, uh, the only thing she's kind of slightly critical is, you know, she said that
00:49:53they were kind of strict and stuff when she was younger.
00:49:56Um, but she didn't say anything about them being overly controlling or manipulative or,
00:50:01um, she gets along good with both of them.
00:50:04And so, so far, nothing negative she said about them.
00:50:07Were they spankers?
00:50:09Um, I never asked.
00:50:11Um, I never asked about that, but she never, she never said anything.
00:50:18Uh, I mean, she, she's staying with them right now just cause she's moving due to work.
00:50:22Um, so, I mean, if she's voluntarily staying with them for a period of time, I would assume
00:50:28there's some level of, uh, like, you know, that she gets along fine with them.
00:50:36Do you know how she was disciplined as a child?
00:50:42Um, not really.
00:50:43No, bro, bro, why wouldn't you ask?
00:50:51Just out of curiosity.
00:50:53I mean, I think, I think I just asked something.
00:50:55I was like, you know, like how, you know, how was your relationship with your parents?
00:50:58How was it like growing up?
00:50:59And she's like, yeah, they're really good.
00:51:00You know, just certain, just strict on certain things.
00:51:02Like I think it was one of those mean, but how was she punished?
00:51:06Strict beans.
00:51:07Yeah.
00:51:08Yeah.
00:51:09No, that's a good point.
00:51:10I didn't, I didn't ask that.
00:51:11I need to ask that.
00:51:12Why not?
00:51:21Um, I mean, I'm assuming if I didn't ask, it's cause I would, you know, maybe I'm afraid
00:51:25to know the answer.
00:51:26Well, I mean, have you talked to her about the idea of peaceful parenting, reasoning with
00:51:30children, that kind of stuff?
00:51:33Um, I mean, it is only been two months, so I haven't, I mean, we haven't gotten that far
00:51:40Sorry, aren't you 27?
00:51:41Uh, yeah.
00:51:42Yeah.
00:51:42Yeah.
00:51:42So what the hell are you doing walking into some relationship without having a values
00:51:48discussion in two months?
00:51:51How do you even know that you want the same things?
00:51:54Does she want to get married?
00:51:54Does she want to have kids?
00:51:56Oh yeah.
00:51:56Okay.
00:51:57What does she think about homeschooling?
00:51:59What does she think about how to teach kids values?
00:52:02What does she think about punishing children or not punishing children?
00:52:06Um, I know that, uh, I know that she wants to be a stay at home mom and, um, her
00:52:12and I are
00:52:13both religious.
00:52:13So we kind of agree on that.
00:52:15I have mentioned homeschooling in the past.
00:52:18I think it's a good idea.
00:52:19Um, I think she would either be in favor of like a private school that matches, uh, like
00:52:25her values or, or a homeschool.
00:52:28Uh, she never said anything like negative about the concept of homeschooling.
00:52:34Um, punishments, we haven't, uh, gotten into that conversation yet.
00:52:39So, sorry, you said, well, we've only been two months, but she's already told you she
00:52:42wants to be a stay at home mom.
00:52:45Yeah.
00:52:45So you're having values in future discussions already.
00:52:48So don't try and, don't try and gaslight me, bro, about, oh, it's too early.
00:52:52We're just talking about bands we like.
00:52:55Well, I guess like, I don't know.
00:52:57I think, yeah, no, how that came about was like, you know, I was like, you know, what
00:53:00are your long-term goals?
00:53:02Like, you know, cause she has a pretty decent job right now.
00:53:04I was like, you know, do you want to like pursue a career?
00:53:06Are you trying to like do something else?
00:53:07And she was like, yeah, I want to be a stay at home.
00:53:09I'm like, that's perfect.
00:53:09Cause I agree with that.
00:53:11Um, this is like, uh, her, like, so she doesn't have much relationship experience prior to talking
00:53:22to me.
00:53:23Um, because I mean, so in college she worked full time cause she didn't want to have any
00:53:27student debt.
00:53:29Um, so she didn't really focus on dating at all.
00:53:31So her parents are poor.
00:53:34Um, or she couldn't get a scholarship.
00:53:35I think they're middle class.
00:53:37They had five kids.
00:53:38So I think they're, you know, solid middle class with five kids.
00:53:41And then she, uh, stayed home and worked full time so that she would be debt free out of
00:53:45college.
00:53:45And what did she take in college?
00:53:47Uh, finance.
00:53:49And is that where she's working?
00:53:51Uh, yeah.
00:53:51Yeah.
00:53:52She's an accountant.
00:53:52She's an accountant.
00:53:53She doesn't have any debt.
00:53:54She's an accountant who wants to be a stay at home mom.
00:53:57Um, I'm not blaming her obviously, but it's like great job society way to train an accountant
00:54:04who's not going to stay in the workforce.
00:54:06I mean, I've met like, maybe you'd be surprised, maybe not, but I've met a lot of, I've talked
00:54:12to a lot of women that have like high up jobs and it's almost like they're, it's almost like
00:54:16their backup or either their backup or like what they do while they're waiting to become
00:54:20a stay at home mom.
00:54:20Like I've met a lawyer that wants to be a stay at home mom.
00:54:26Right.
00:54:27Yeah.
00:54:28Okay.
00:54:29And again, I'm not blaming her.
00:54:30I'm just, you know, as, as a guy who cares about resource allocation, it just drives me
00:54:34nuts.
00:54:35Yeah.
00:54:36Yeah.
00:54:36Okay.
00:54:37No, I, so she's, she's an accountant and she graduated a couple of years ago and then she
00:54:43probably wants to be a stay at home mom by the time she's 30.
00:54:46So she's got a cozy couple of years in the workforce before she leaves.
00:54:49Uh, yeah.
00:54:51Yeah.
00:54:51Basically.
00:54:53Okay.
00:54:54And so she's 25.
00:54:56And she hasn't dated much, right?
00:54:59No, no.
00:55:00So I was talking to her about it.
00:55:02Um, yeah.
00:55:03So she, you know, she did like, she, she basically just completely focused in college on working
00:55:09and graduating and didn't really date at all.
00:55:11And then, and then she moved out of state to take up a accountant job.
00:55:15And then she, I mean, she says she went on dates, like sing, like singular, like went
00:55:20on dates with guys and so on, but she just, uh, hadn't really found a great match.
00:55:26Um, so yeah, I'm like the first person she's talked to.
00:55:29And I would say I do have some guilt over the fact that despite the fact that I feel
00:55:33like I'm doing pretty well in life now, I do kind of feel bad over the fact that I've
00:55:36had an, an annulment and then meanwhile, she's stayed quite pure this whole time.
00:55:42And she knows about the annulment.
00:55:44Yeah.
00:55:45Yeah.
00:55:46I told her about it.
00:55:47Um, yeah, I told her about it and you know, that it was a mistake on my part and that,
00:55:55um, you know, I took responsibility with the fact that I chose the person I annulled
00:56:01ultimately.
00:56:03Um, okay.
00:56:04So it sounds like you took responsibility and what virtues would you list of hers?
00:56:11Uh, so she's really reliable.
00:56:13Um, she's really like a good car.
00:56:16What do you mean?
00:56:17Reliable?
00:56:18Like a well-maintained train.
00:56:20Well, like, you know, it's like one of the, like, she's a good communicator.
00:56:23I'll put it that way.
00:56:23So it's like, you know, like, okay, we'll meet at this time.
00:56:26And then she'll be like, okay, I'll send you my ETA of like when I'll be there.
00:56:29And then she'll show up and then I'll, and then she'll be like, oh, I'll follow up with
00:56:31you later.
00:56:32And then she'll like follow up with me later.
00:56:33So it's like kind of simple stuff, but, uh, so she's a good communicator.
00:56:37Uh, she's a good listener.
00:56:38Um, I don't know if being frugal is a virtue, but it's kind of something I look for now after
00:56:42my last marriage went, uh, haywire over that.
00:56:44Um, um, she's a disciplined person.
00:56:53Um, she's, um, affectionate.
00:56:57She's analytical.
00:57:01Uh, I mean, I, yeah, those are the ones that come to mind quickest.
00:57:05I mean, those are practical efficiencies.
00:57:09You know, she's prompt, she's analytical, she's on time.
00:57:12Uh, she doesn't spend too much money.
00:57:14Uh, it's, it's not the pinnacle of Christian virtue, is it?
00:57:20Um, no, I mean, no, I'd say like the main thing is like, um, granted it's only, I feel
00:57:29like everybody's got a different mindset of like what's a short versus a long amount of
00:57:32time to like be talking to somebody.
00:57:33But like, she's, uh, she's been very respectful towards me and it feels like it is a team, like
00:57:41she's, uh, she, it's a team effort.
00:57:43Like she, uh, contributes to the growth of the relationship.
00:57:47Okay.
00:57:47Sorry.
00:57:47That's so abstract.
00:57:49I'm losing my nutsack.
00:57:51So, I mean, what are the primary Christian moral virtues?
00:58:02Um, primary Christian moral virtues.
00:58:08Haven't you been studying this since you were a kid?
00:58:13Uh, well, I don't know.
00:58:16I mean, I guess that could also be fairly abstract as well, though.
00:58:22No, no, no.
00:58:23I mean, you have.
00:58:24Christian moral virtues tend to be pretty concrete in many, in many ways.
00:58:27Yeah.
00:58:28What are the primary Christian moral virtues?
00:58:31I guess we could describe in terms of like adherence to the commandments.
00:58:35Well, but that's just saying that the virtues are adherence to virtues and that doesn't answer
00:58:40anything.
00:58:40So what are the primary Christian moral virtues that you can measure?
00:58:43Because you're asking me, how do I review the relationship?
00:58:47And if you're a Christian, then you would look for primary Christian moral virtues and measure
00:58:51how well she manifests them.
00:58:58Um, okay.
00:58:59I mean, well, I mean, I just, uh, you know, the, the obvious one that we already kind of
00:59:04discussed is like not, uh, or like not engaging in like sexual activity outside marriage.
00:59:10That's, that's one of them.
00:59:12Okay.
00:59:14And?
00:59:15I mean, that's a virtue.
00:59:16It's a not doing something, which is fine.
00:59:18It's like you're saying my big virtue is I don't steal.
00:59:21Like it's, you know, good, but what are the positive virtues?
00:59:27Um, other positive virtues, um, I'm, I'm trying to think of like a positive virtue that she's
00:59:38done.
00:59:39That's not something that she's avoided.
00:59:40Just give me the positive Christian moral virtues that you can measure in someone.
00:59:46Uh, so I guess one would be, you know, helping, helping others, especially helping others in
00:59:51need.
00:59:53Um, honoring your parents.
00:59:59That's one of them.
01:00:08Um, I mean, yeah, I guess the other ones are tough for me to think of because they're
01:00:11more avoiding doing something bad rather than doing something positive.
01:00:16Okay.
01:00:17So, um, helping the less fortunate is a Christian virtue.
01:00:20And what does she herself do to manifest that virtue?
01:00:27Please understand.
01:00:28I'm not saying she doesn't.
01:00:29I'm just asking how she gets her.
01:00:30No, I, no, I think that's a fair point.
01:00:32I don't, I can't think of any off the top of my head.
01:00:34Uh, like I, you know, I don't know if she's like done charity work or anything like that.
01:00:38And I haven't really asked about that.
01:00:40Oh, okay.
01:00:41Now, um, what does honoring your parents mean to you?
01:00:46Um, well, I guess, yeah, we all have our own version of this, but, uh, and I, I'm assuming
01:00:54you probably have a big issue with this part of the.
01:00:59Part of the Bible.
01:01:00I, I, I, I didn't ask you what it means to me.
01:01:03I asked what it means to you.
01:01:07She, she, um, she seems to live her life in a way that her parents taught her and she's
01:01:17kind of grateful and, um, you know, attributes some of the things that she's learned from
01:01:24her parents.
01:01:24So she's kind of like, I guess how she actually shows her parents in her best light, you know,
01:01:30uh, for example, like the car that she drives a car that her and her dad built together
01:01:35type thing.
01:01:36And, you know, it's kind of like the problem solving and discipline and speaks highly of
01:01:40her dad for teaching her that virtue.
01:01:42So, um, I don't know if that's a good example of honoring your parents, but that's kind of
01:01:47how I think of it is like, is if you took something from your parents that was beneficial to you
01:01:52and, and you kind of bring that with you into your life.
01:01:57Okay.
01:01:58What work does she do to spread the gospel?
01:02:04Um, I don't know that she, I don't know.
01:02:09Uh, I think she just mainly goes to church.
01:02:11I don't think she does like the, I don't, I don't know that she's done like missionary
01:02:16type work at all.
01:02:16It doesn't have to be a missionary type work.
01:02:18I mean, she could teach Sunday school.
01:02:20She could do outreach in somewhere in the community.
01:02:22She could knock door to door.
01:02:23I mean, because that's a fundamental Christian virtue, isn't it?
01:02:25To spread the gospel.
01:02:27Yeah.
01:02:28Evangelism.
01:02:28That is one.
01:02:29Um, yeah, it's tough to say too, because I think pretty much all of her friends are also
01:02:34already Christian.
01:02:35So I don't know that she's like spreading the gospel doesn't mean going to people who
01:02:39are already Christian.
01:02:40Yeah.
01:02:42Okay.
01:02:43Um, yeah.
01:02:44What about, um, a, you know, obviously the, the foundational thou shalt not bear false
01:02:50witness commitment to telling the truth no matter what.
01:02:58Um, well, this is tough for me to know.
01:03:01Cause I guess if she had lied already about something, I wouldn't necessarily have proof
01:03:04that she lied about it.
01:03:05No, but you would get a sense of these things.
01:03:07And if you have no proof, we, when obviously, you know, we can't just make, make up negatives,
01:03:11right?
01:03:12Yeah.
01:03:13No, I mean, she's, she's been, I think she's been honest in the sense that like she tells
01:03:18me stuff that I, uh, well, I guess, oh, here's a, here's a fair point.
01:03:22She's told me herself that she's, that she doesn't like confrontation, that she's a more
01:03:26like agreeable person.
01:03:28Um, but in the kind of so far in our talking and everything, she's been pretty assertive
01:03:35towards me, um, which I've appreciated.
01:03:38For example, I think like the first time we met up, you know, I was, uh, I, I was like,
01:03:45oh yeah, do you want to just like drive together from this venue to this venue rather than like
01:03:50driving?
01:03:50Cause I didn't have a car at the time when I was in that city.
01:03:53Uh, she's like, no, I mean, because it's our first date, I would appreciate if we drove
01:03:56separately.
01:03:56And then, um, and then when she, you know, flew out to visit me, I was like, oh yeah, do
01:04:04you want us to just get a hotel with two different beds?
01:04:07And she's like, can we do an Airbnb with two different rooms?
01:04:09So she's been kind of good at being assertive and stuff like that rather than just kind of
01:04:13going with the flow and not, you know, but objecting to it internally.
01:04:19Okay.
01:04:20Got it.
01:04:21All right.
01:04:22So there are four cardinal virtues, as you know, uh, prudence, right, reason in action,
01:04:32practical wisdom about how to act well.
01:04:34And would you say that she manifests that?
01:04:37Practical wisdom on how to act well.
01:04:39I would say that.
01:04:39Yeah.
01:04:40Justice, giving to God and neighbor, what is their due?
01:04:42Fairness and right relations.
01:04:50Um, I would assume she does, but I haven't, I don't have too much like proof of that in
01:04:54person.
01:04:55Okay.
01:04:56Fortitude, courage.
01:04:57This is the, the big one for me.
01:05:00Firmness in pursuing good despite difficulty or fear.
01:05:06Oh, I can't think of a situation we've been in when she would have been afraid.
01:05:11Well, no, but she may have told you a time where she was frightened of something, but did the
01:05:16right thing despite the devil's handiwork.
01:05:21Um,
01:05:24Um, uh, I don't, I don't know.
01:05:28I mean, she did the right thing despite the devil's handiwork.
01:05:33I mean, was she, oh yeah.
01:05:34I mean, in all fairness, she never got into, I don't, she never got into like alcohol or
01:05:39part or, uh, like, you know, she like never tried drugs, never did, um, anything like
01:05:44that despite, you know, temptation and stuff.
01:05:48Um, yeah.
01:05:51Okay.
01:05:51Does she have any, is she in pursuit of any good works in the world that she's facing
01:05:58resistance or have you heard of that in the past?
01:06:03Um, pursuing good works that she has resistance for.
01:06:06Or, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't think so.
01:06:16I mean, she just, you know, has a job and wants to be a stay at home mom.
01:06:19Uh, I mean, maybe, maybe in the sense that like there's some societal objection to like
01:06:24women being stay at home moms and like giving up a good career.
01:06:27Maybe that could be an example.
01:06:29Well, not if she wants to be a stay at home mom, then that's a little different.
01:06:34Um, okay.
01:06:35So, I mean, in general, of course, uh, I, I look for moral courage, scolding, honesty, uh,
01:06:42nobility of character and purpose, uh, in terms of love.
01:06:48And that's what I would look for.
01:06:50Uh, love is the reward we get for doing active good in the world, like active, difficult good.
01:06:57Cause when you do good, of course, you are interfering with the goals and plans of evildoers.
01:07:03If no one's offended at you, if no one's upset with you, you know, you're probably not doing
01:07:06any particular good.
01:07:09Right.
01:07:10And so if she says, cause the, the, the purpose of Christianity to some degree is to judo
01:07:17move your weaknesses into strengths, right?
01:07:19This is an old CS Lewis argument.
01:07:21You know, if the, if God tempts you with greed, uh, then be more ascetic.
01:07:25If God, if God tempts you with lust, uh, be less lustful and, and sorry, the devil, if
01:07:30the devil, sorry, I may have got things a little upside down there, but yeah, whatever the devil
01:07:36tempts you with, you turn towards a greater virtue.
01:07:38So if she knows that she's non-confrontational, then she needs to learn to develop, uh, her
01:07:44constant, her, her, um, her skills in, in this area so that she can be more confrontational
01:07:52and stand out for the good and the right to, uh, inspire people to show the power of Jesus,
01:07:59to show the power of the cross, to show the power of Christianity, to appear superhuman
01:08:02and thus to help spread the word of God and of Christianity.
01:08:09So that would be something that I would look for.
01:08:12Now, again, I would assume that this has been talked, this is, you know, to me, Christianity
01:08:17101, that you have to, um, follow prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance, moderation,
01:08:24or self-control and desires and pleasure.
01:08:25Sounds like she's got that down, uh, pretty well.
01:08:30But, uh, justice and fortitude tend to be the toughest thing.
01:08:34Uh, prudence and temperance tend to be the toughest for men.
01:08:37Justice and fortitude tend to be the toughest for women because justice means also calling
01:08:43out bad guys and promoting virtue and, you know, getting in trouble with the devil and
01:08:47his minions, right?
01:08:49And so with regards to virtue, um, I would look for that.
01:08:53Now, if she doesn't have that right now, it can at least be a goal or a plan, you know,
01:08:57that we're going to be, uh, aiming to do good in the world and that's going to cause some
01:09:03trouble, but it's what God commands and so on.
01:09:05If that makes sense.
01:09:06No, no, that's, uh, those are some really, um, good things.
01:09:10I guess, like, my following question is, like, some of these things would both, A, be challenging
01:09:16to prove, like, well, they'd be easy to prove over time, but they'd be kind of tough to see
01:09:22in person, uh, you know, unless she's, like, out there with, like, a bullhorn and, like,
01:09:27marching and talking about, like, some political stuff.
01:09:30It'd be tough to see this in practice.
01:09:32And also, like, how do you kind of talk to, talk to somebody about these different topics
01:09:36without it coming across, like, some sort of, um, I don't know, you might disagree with
01:09:42this, but here's what my dating coach used to say.
01:09:44She used to say, like, uh, you know, like, it's fair to ask somebody, like, you know,
01:09:48are you an honest person or are you fill in whatever blank?
01:09:52Um, but she said if you do that rapid fire and you do it, like, too much too soon, it
01:09:56comes
01:09:56across like you're screening, like, an intense interview and it can kill some of the attraction.
01:10:00Like, what is your thoughts on that?
01:10:02Well, I mean, the way that I would do it if I were in your shoes.
01:10:07Is, I would say, you know, here are the four cardinal virtues, prudence, justice,
01:10:11fortitude, and temperance.
01:10:12These are the things that I pursue in my life.
01:10:15You know, here's some examples.
01:10:16And, but you wouldn't ask her.
01:10:19Well, what about you?
01:10:20You know, you just, you share your experience in pursuing these things and then you see what
01:10:27she has to say about it.
01:10:30No, yeah, that's a really good point.
01:10:33I mean, if, when I kind of reflect too, like, I don't necessarily think I,
01:10:36I embody to the fullest extent.
01:10:38Like, I would never.
01:10:39Nobody embodies to the fullest extent.
01:10:41Don't weasel word me, bro.
01:10:43Nobody embodies, well, except Jesus, right?
01:10:46I mean, to be fair, like, I mean, like you, for example, like, I don't think I would ever
01:10:50have the courage to do what it is that you do online, but I'm happy to donate to you
01:10:56to do those things.
01:10:57Like, I don't know if that means I'm like not showing any sort of fortitude by contributing
01:11:00to the fight without being on the front lines myself.
01:11:04Of like, does that make sense?
01:11:06Is that fair?
01:11:06Like, if I, I don't know.
01:11:08I'm happy to support it, but I feel like my, my service to humanity is not necessarily
01:11:15like confronting the evils of the world or convincing people that the gods of the city
01:11:19aren't real.
01:11:21Um, but I'm happy to donate to a philosopher that does need it.
01:11:24What does God command you to do?
01:11:26That's what it is to be a Christian, isn't it?
01:11:29Yeah.
01:11:30So, what does God command you to do?
01:11:33What does Jesus command you to do?
01:11:36Well, if it, yeah, I mean, I would have to, if it came up to, if it was in my
01:11:42personal
01:11:42life, um, if I had to stand between good and evil in my personal life, then I would.
01:11:47Um, but I guess it's like, you know, if it's like in person, like right in front of me,
01:11:53or if it's like what you do is you're kind of, uh, like educating the masses and, and kind
01:11:59of fighting that moral fight at a much larger scale.
01:12:04So, I, I would say I do do that in my personal life.
01:12:07Like I have confronted like crackheads on the train and stuff that are being violent.
01:12:10So, in that sense, I would say I do that pretty well.
01:12:17Okay.
01:12:18Okay.
01:12:19So, core kingdom life commands, repent and believe in the gospel, repent for the kingdom
01:12:24of heaven is near, turning from sin and trusting God's saving rule, follow Jesus slash take
01:12:29up your cross.
01:12:29Come follow me.
01:12:31Discipleship means prioritizing Jesus, denying yourself and being willing to suffer for his
01:12:36sake.
01:12:38And you may disagree with that and all of that, but what in your life are you taking on for
01:12:44Jesus that causes you to suffer for his sake?
01:12:50Um, I, I mean, I live in a fairly peaceful community, so like I'm, I'm unapologetically
01:12:58Christian.
01:12:58Like I, I'll tell people about my faith, even if they, uh, you know, are argumentative
01:13:03or, or like slander me or whatever.
01:13:05Um, I'm fortunate in the sense that I don't, we don't really have the same persecution here
01:13:10that they might in like say parts of Africa.
01:13:13Um, I have, albeit I only did it once.
01:13:17I mean, I have evangelized before in a, in kind of a rougher neighborhood that took a lot
01:13:21of, of courage because I didn't know how they're going to react.
01:13:28Um, stuff that could cause personal, um, I, I think that's the main thing.
01:13:36Okay.
01:13:37And then another one is make disciples and teach obedience, go and make disciples of
01:13:42all nations, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.
01:13:49Make disciples of all nations.
01:13:51Well, I definitely haven't, haven't done that.
01:13:54And I don't think I realistically could.
01:14:01And what do you mean?
01:14:02Well, I mean, what you're referring to kind of reminds me of the stories of the 12 disciples,
01:14:07how after the resurrection, they, they went all over parts of the world and, and spread
01:14:12the gospel and, uh, all but one were killed for their, for their troubles.
01:14:17Um, I mean, I guess I could do that, but I would have to commit that that's the only
01:14:21thing I'll do in life.
01:14:22Cause if I was going to do kind of like that level of missionary work, that would be,
01:14:27um, that'd be, yeah, I would, that would have to be like my sole focus in life.
01:14:34Well, I don't think there's a commandment that it'd be your sole focus, but it has to
01:14:39be some kind of focus.
01:14:40Right.
01:14:43Okay.
01:14:44So, um, the, the constant challenge of virtue is to have objective standards of virtue, which
01:14:52for you would come through Christianity and Jesus, and to measure your relationship to
01:14:57those virtues.
01:14:59Right.
01:15:01And when we love is the tribute we pay to moral admiration.
01:15:10Now you listing that she's, you know, she's nice and kind and thoughtful and, and those are,
01:15:15those are fine.
01:15:16I mean, that there's, I'm not saying that that's, that's necessarily a bad thing, but
01:15:20if you want the strongest love, it has to be moral admiration.
01:15:24Right.
01:15:26And so if you want love, you have to say, here are my moral values.
01:15:31Here's my gap.
01:15:32It's called the gap analysis in business, right?
01:15:34Here's my moral values.
01:15:36Here's my virtues.
01:15:37How am I doing relative to them?
01:15:39And just being honest about it.
01:15:41And when nobody's perfect and you know, I'm not out there running down all the irrational
01:15:45people in the known universe and screwing a bullhorn horn in their armpit.
01:15:49But I do check in sort of with myself every day.
01:15:52Okay.
01:15:53Here are my values and how am I doing relative to my values?
01:15:56And am I promoting virtue in the world?
01:15:58Am I doing good for the short time that I have here?
01:16:00Am I thwarting evildoers and promoting virtue?
01:16:03Am I fighting the bad guys and, and doing the right thing as best I can within, you know,
01:16:07obviously some limitations because you want to do maximum virtue, which means don't get
01:16:11yourself killed the moment you step out your door.
01:16:14But that is the challenge.
01:16:16And that's an incredibly exciting mission for you and your wife to be on in the long
01:16:19run.
01:16:20You know, we want to honor God.
01:16:21We want to love Jesus.
01:16:23We want to save souls.
01:16:24We want to bring people to heaven and pull them back from hell.
01:16:28And that's going to be an important mission for us.
01:16:32And that's just going to, it's not our whole lives, but it's part of our lives.
01:16:35And if you have that commitment to pursuing virtue, even at risk, perhaps even especially at
01:16:45risk, then you get moral admiration.
01:16:52You get nobility.
01:16:55And through that, you get the most consistent love, the longest lasting love and a love that
01:17:01grows over time.
01:17:03Because as you work your muscles of moral courage, hopefully we all get a little bit more courageous
01:17:08and a little bit more forward, maybe even a little bit more confrontational.
01:17:15And we bring virtue, truth, beauty, and reason to the world.
01:17:22And if there's a better way to fall and stay in love, I can't conceive of it at all.
01:17:30No, that's a really good point.
01:17:32And I mean, I still really like UPB.
01:17:36I did read your entire book, Rational Proof of Secular Ethics.
01:17:39And it was kind of, I don't know, I'm curious what your thoughts are.
01:17:42But to me, the UPB almost like reinforced my belief in God.
01:17:47Because it seemed that to get a situation where a society could develop in a way that ethics
01:17:56could be provable inherently by the nature of how society works would require an intelligent
01:18:03creator.
01:18:05I don't know if that made any sense the way I phrased that.
01:18:08But I'm basically saying that, you know, you have this thing called society.
01:18:11And then UPB is something that's provable with the way that society runs.
01:18:18And not only is it provable, but it brings about well-being and like good outcomes.
01:18:23And the fact that you could prove that objectively to me proved that there was an intelligent moral designer.
01:18:31I'm not going to argue with anybody who's a fan of UPB.
01:18:34We have a different methodology, but more specific to building a life of love is building a life of moral
01:18:44admiration.
01:18:45I mean, one of the things that we would love about Jesus is his absolute steadfast dedication to truth and
01:18:52virtue
01:18:53in the face of obviously utterly overwhelming opposition.
01:18:59Now, I'm not saying we've all got to go get ourselves nailed up, but having that aspect in your life,
01:19:04having that lodestar, that north star that you can guide yourself by.
01:19:08What are the goods?
01:19:09What are the good that I can do in the world?
01:19:11What is the good I can do in the world?
01:19:12And how am I doing relative to that?
01:19:14And not from a self-critical standpoint, but just from an encouragement standpoint.
01:19:18You know, if you want to lose weight, you say, okay, here's my goal.
01:19:21Wait, measure yourself.
01:19:22How am I doing relative to that?
01:19:23What can I do to tweak and adjust and so on?
01:19:24You can't achieve goals without a plan.
01:19:26And I would strongly urge everyone, Christians, secularists, whatever, I would strongly urge
01:19:32everyone to do a gap analysis of your virtues and values and your current actions and try
01:19:41to close the gap.
01:19:44Imperfectly, haltingly, staggeringly, as I think we all do, but just try to close that gap.
01:19:50If you're working to close that gap and you're doing good in the world, you can stand tall
01:19:56in the face of your children's questions.
01:19:58If the world gets better, fantastic.
01:20:01If the world gets worse, your conscience is clear.
01:20:04And for you, if there's a better way to get to heaven than to say, what are the virtues?
01:20:08How can I pursue them?
01:20:09I would like to hear it.
01:20:15No, I think that's, um, I think you gave me some really practical advice on things to
01:20:20focus on in the coming months, I guess, as I keep talking to this person I'm talking to.
01:20:25Well, and have a plan, and I've got another caller here, but have a plan by which you're
01:20:29going to end up at the same place.
01:20:30Because, you know, before you know it, you're pushing 30 and she's older and long distance
01:20:35relationships can't grow because there's too little reality in them.
01:20:42They're not totally unreal, but you're not dealing with day to day.
01:20:45You're not seeing each other a lot.
01:20:47And it's like watching every 10th or 20th frame of a movie.
01:20:51It's just kind of herky-jerky and, and a bit bewildering.
01:20:53And you, and you get together in this, you know, fun, um, affection and, and cuddles and
01:20:58all that kind of stuff, but you don't deal with more of the everyday.
01:21:03Okay.
01:21:03And because when you're in a long distance relationship, you can't fight or you can't
01:21:07have conflict because she's like, we spent so little time together.
01:21:10Let's make sure we get along.
01:21:11And then you may not learn how the other person handles conflict.
01:21:14You've got to have a conversation about how do we handle, how do we handle conflict?
01:21:17We're going to move forward.
01:21:17Maybe we get married.
01:21:18How do we handle conflict?
01:21:20How are we going to deal with conflict?
01:21:22What are your opinions on the strictness of your parents versus how you're going to parent?
01:21:27Do you think they were too strict?
01:21:28How would you adjust it?
01:21:29What does that mean?
01:21:29Because you're negotiating on behalf of your future children.
01:21:34It's really, marriage is really not about you.
01:21:36And it's not about your wife.
01:21:37It's about your future children.
01:21:39So what you want to do is you want to choose the best mother for your future children.
01:21:43Now that doesn't mean that she agrees with you everything right away because, you know,
01:21:47there's negotiation and, you know, she may obviously have, I'm sure she will have things
01:21:51that are a value that she wants to bring to the table that you haven't heard before
01:21:54that you find to be great.
01:21:56But you are negotiating on behalf of your future children and you're negotiating on behalf of
01:22:01your future married self.
01:22:02How are we going to resolve disputes?
01:22:05Well, no shouting, no name calling.
01:22:07We got to listen.
01:22:08No storming out.
01:22:09No self-pity.
01:22:11Like, you know, I mean, well, you may have tendencies to these things, but at least have a rule.
01:22:14How do we resolve disputes?
01:22:15It has to be peace, curiosity, reason, and not holding to a position out of vanity, right?
01:22:24Because humility is a foundational Christian ethic, and that means that you don't assume
01:22:29that you're right when you're in a conflict.
01:22:30Humility means being very, very open to the possibility that you're completely wrong, and
01:22:35that's how you reduce escalations in conflict.
01:22:37So there's a lot of great values and virtues there, but you got to have serious conversations
01:22:41because what happens is, as you know, step by step, you just end up in a relationship,
01:22:46and then you're kind of committed, and other people have gone by, and, you know, six months
01:22:49have gone by, a year has gone by, it's still kind of long distance, you still haven't dealt
01:22:53with some of the basics, and then you're just kind of in.
01:22:57You're just kind of in, and then getting out is really tough, and then you want to avoid
01:23:01conflict or avoid any foundational discussions for fear that you aren't compatible or something
01:23:07like that.
01:23:07So if you like each other, and you're looking for a life together at some point, and two
01:23:12months is totally fine, two months is totally fine, it's totally valid, then have those
01:23:17conversations, and if you have the vows before the vows, the vows really mean something, right?
01:23:25If you say, like, how are we going to resolve conflict?
01:23:27Well, we're not going to name call, we're not going to escalate, we're not going to yell,
01:23:29we're not going to storm out, we're going to sit there and, you know, peacefully and
01:23:33curiously and with empathy, reason together until we find a solution that works for us
01:23:37both, I mean, that's obviously the best way to resolve disputes, I think, you have those
01:23:43commitments, then you can move forward with trust.
01:23:47And without that, you're just kind of moving forward like you're on a train, not knowing
01:23:51where you're going.
01:23:53No, that's, that's really, uh, good advice, I appreciate it.
01:23:57All right, well, I hope you'll keep me posted about how it's going, it's delightful to hear
01:24:02from you again, um, my very, very best going forward, and thank you for the call.
01:24:07All right, we have a caller, Emo, if you wanted to unmute, I'm all with the ears.
01:24:17Oh, thank you, Stefan, how are you?
01:24:19I'm well, how are you doing?
01:24:21I'm doing all right, I have my ups and downs, but hang in there.
01:24:28Okay, here's the part where you ask a question or make a comment.
01:24:32All right, a question or a comment?
01:24:36Um, I don't look at God as benevolent.
01:24:39Sorry, have we, have you called in before?
01:24:41Maybe on a different account.
01:24:44Okay, I didn't ask the account if it had called in before, have you called in before?
01:24:48Because your voice sounds very familiar.
01:24:50Oh, yeah, I have many different accounts, and, um, I think a few of them might have blocked.
01:24:56So why did I block you?
01:24:59Different reasons, um, one of them I didn't seem as serious, another one I honestly don't know.
01:25:11All right, and...
01:25:12Yeah, I'm not sure what you mean by it didn't seem as serious, I just did some comedy routines at
01:25:16the beginning.
01:25:17I mean, oh, yeah, yeah.
01:25:18No, no, no, no, no, hang on, hang on.
01:25:20When I'm talking, what happens?
01:25:23All right, I'll let you finish speaking.
01:25:25That's right.
01:25:26Do you remember that from the last time you called in?
01:25:33Um...
01:25:34Yeah.
01:25:35Okay, so don't do that.
01:25:36I mean, that's the price of being in a conversation, right?
01:25:39Which is, let the other person finish talking, unless they're saying something totally wrong.
01:25:42So if you say, well, Steph, I don't know why you banned me, except maybe I wasn't serious enough
01:25:46when the first caller and I were laughing about comedy routines,
01:25:50I don't think that not being serious enough is a reason.
01:25:53So why else do you think you were blocked?
01:25:57Oh, yeah, so my other account, it was called Tyrone, it was like average black guy.
01:26:03And, um, I said something about raping white women, and it's like, oh, yeah, this goes back
01:26:09to another thing I kind of had in my mind.
01:26:12Um, I noticed, like, it's more socially acceptable for black guys to commit rape than it is for
01:26:19a white guy to, like, look at a woman too long, though.
01:26:22All right, that's delightful.
01:26:24Well, like, I'm just saying, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:26:27I don't know why, why do people, why do they do that?
01:26:29It's just so wild for me.
01:26:30I mean, how, how sad and lonely do you have to be to have a open conversation to talk about
01:26:37virtues, values, morals, and ideals, and then to pull that sort of silly nonsense?
01:26:43I don't know why, why people do that.
01:26:45I mean, it's very sad, and this is a very isolated person, and, um, it's going to continue
01:26:50that way, and it probably should.
01:26:52All right, uh, let's take a last caller here.
01:26:57If you want to unmute, person whose name starts with F.
01:27:05Going once, going twice.
01:27:07Hello, hello.
01:27:10All right, let me just get the actual name here.
01:27:13Reading glasses, engaged, yes.
01:27:15You're a fry.
01:27:16Thanks for taking my call, sir.
01:27:18My pleasure.
01:27:19Um, I have an upcoming call with you, and I was just phoning ahead to see what I can
01:27:27do beforehand to maximize our time.
01:27:31All right.
01:27:31I noticed a change of notes and stuff.
01:27:33Is it a public call or a private call?
01:27:36It will be a public call.
01:27:38Then when is it coming up?
01:27:41Uh, yeah.
01:27:51I am curious.
01:27:55All right.
01:27:56Are you still with me?
01:28:00Yeah, I guess we lost him.
01:28:01All right.
01:28:02Well, I guess we'll talk about it in the call.
01:28:03Freedomain.com slash donate.
01:28:04Thank you so much for a lovely set of calls.
01:28:07Minus 1.1.
01:28:09Uh, tonight and, uh, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show.
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01:28:27Please share that link and get people to engage with the AIs, to listen to the Spanish version
01:28:32and so on.
01:28:33Uh, well, no, absolutely not.
01:28:35All right.
01:28:36Have yourself a great night, everyone.
01:28:37Thanks a bell.
01:28:38Bye.
01:28:39Bye.
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