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00:04This tea is delicious Daphne. What is your secret? Oh, that's what it is. Okay.
00:11Jim, really? These HR seminars are endless. What is this? Respect in the workplace?
00:19We did one of those at the fuse box. I just rounded up everybody and I said,
00:23hey, cut it out. You know what you're doing. End the seminar. Yeah, well, our insurance company
00:31requires a little more than that. We just have to find a new HR person. Our last guy got me
00:36too'd.
00:37He was demonstrating unsolicited hugging and got a little grabby. Dave, you're an HR pro. Why don't
00:44you do the seminars? You've done a million of them. Sounds like a little bit of a conflict of
00:47interest to me. I also tend to get a little grabby with the boss sometimes.
00:54Look, Dave, this is perfect, man. You're always looking for an excuse to lecture people.
01:01Well, I'm good at it. Thank you for all the tea, Daphne. Uncle Malcolm has to go get changed
01:07because Mercedes is taking him to the Usher concert tonight. Oh, my God. Oh, mama.
01:13What? Oh, oh. Are you okay? Oh, no. Oh, no. My back. My whole damn back. Oh, son, I've been
01:22there. I mean, the tiara makes it so much sadder, but...
01:27Welcome to the block. Welcome to the neighborhood. Welcome to the hood.
01:38Who's ready to see Usher? Yeah, about Usher. Oh, my God. What happened? Well, he threw his
01:46back out having a tea party with little Daphne. Oh, what a good uncle you are. Well, forget
01:54about the concert. I'll stay here and take care of you. Oh, no, baby. That's sweet. But don't
01:58be silly. You go ahead. Really? Yeah. Have fun. Take a friend. Okay, I could. Or I could
02:07spend some quality time with your mom. Uh, Tina? Okay, Mercedes, if you think you're gonna score
02:15points with me by taking me to see Usher, then you are absolutely right.
02:24Guys, the hour we've all been waiting for draws nigh.
02:29You told Marty about my seminar? No, man. I'm talking about proposing to Courtney.
02:35Oh, great. I hate having to keep that secret from Tina. Secrets are meant to be shared with
02:40everyone, Marty. Oh, okay. Jim, uh, it just, it took so long for the ring to come in, and I
02:45still need to get her dad's blessing. But April 5th is the perfect day, obviously.
02:51Why is that obvious? Uh, it's first contact day. In Star Trek VIII, the day in 2063 where
02:58the Vulcans and the humans meet. Oh, that's so sweet. I don't know what it means, but so sweet.
03:09All right, I'm setting up your old room. I just need to make the bed. Yeah, well, you
03:13may have to carry me in there. We should have known better. I mean, babies are cute, but they
03:18are dangerous. You must have hurt yourself a lot picking me up, huh? You were a big-ass
03:25baby, but no. You know, I was a young dad. By the time I was your age, you were 12.
03:33Thank you for the pep talk, Pop. Anytime, Unc. No, no, look. Seriously, Pop, have I wasted
03:42too much time? You know, my little brother already has a family. Oh, son, you're doing
03:48great, man. I mean, you graduated college. You're a published writer.
03:54Finally found my passion. Bought my first home. Hey, and then there's Mercedes.
03:59She is pretty great, Pop. Well, you're smiling like you just cashed a check. What's going on?
04:07That's all right. That's all right. I told you. You're doing good, son. I'm proud of you.
04:12You're a mature, grown-ass man. Oh, thank you, Pop. So which one you want, the baseball sheets
04:17or a space jam? Space jam. She got a cherry. She got a cherry!
04:26What are you saying? You know how Usher always picks a couple of lucky women in the crowd
04:31and seduces them with a cherry? Yeah, well, tonight he picked your woman.
04:35Yeah! Look at that.
04:40Isn't that cool? Hell no, that ain't cool.
04:45Oh. My. God.
04:47Your girlfriend is trending, Malcolm.
04:50Hashtag Mercedes Usher cherry bomb. Yay!
04:55Uh, is Tina in that video?
04:57No, look, it's nothing. Pop, he just puts on a little show.
05:00Oh, he puts on a show, all right. He just scapes around, shirtless, all oiled up in a fur coat.
05:10Tina better not be in that video.
05:12She didn't take a cherry, Mr. B.
05:14That's right. I know she didn't.
05:18What's wrong with it, Calvin? If I'd have been there, I'd have been begging for a cherry like a baby
05:22bird.
05:29Oh, that old Usher, he's something else, huh? He's a wild boy.
05:34Yes, he is. Oh, look at that. Still got my VIP wristband on.
05:40So he can just do whatever up on stage, huh?
05:43You know what? I gotta admit, that cherry thing was a lot of fun.
05:48Fun? Yeah?
05:49Fun, fun.
05:51It was just fun.
05:53Don't tell me that you are on their side about this.
05:56I'm sorry, whose side?
05:58Marty, Gemma, all of them, they think it's fine to be disrespectful in your relationship
06:03or to get a piece of dirty fruit from a half-naked, greased-up little boy.
06:10Okay.
06:11But in their defense, I mean, it's not just any man.
06:15I mean, Usher has the voice of an angel.
06:17Ooh, and he could really dance on those skates.
06:19Oh, my God.
06:20Whew!
06:21You know what? I guess I'm the only one that's out of my mind
06:24to think that it's not okay to be taking fruit from somebody.
06:27You don't even know if he washed his hands or nothing. You don't know.
06:30Calvin, Calvin.
06:32You are acting like a grumpy old man.
06:35Okay, if it'll make you feel better, I promise I will never let any man put any food in my
06:40mouth for any reason.
06:41Okay?
06:43Come on, baby. It's chewy.
06:45This spoon.
06:46Come on.
06:47Yeah.
06:49All the spoons are dirty.
06:50It's a knife and fork kind of night.
06:56Welcome to the seminar. I'm Dave Johnson.
06:59Now, we have two options today.
07:00We can make this dry and just get it over with, or...
07:06No. No, no. It's not a vote.
07:10Or we can make it fun.
07:13Why are we here today?
07:15As Aretha Franklin would say...
07:20That's right.
07:23I'm still going to finish writing it.
07:31Mr. B.
07:33Do you have any cough syrup?
07:36Daphne gave me her cold.
07:37This is her way of saying, thanks for giving me life.
07:43Oh, look.
07:44Whoa!
07:46Do you know you have stickers all over your face?
07:49Yes.
07:50Do you want me to help you get them off?
07:52No, no.
07:54Whenever I'm sick, I break out. These are covering my pimples.
07:57Oh. Okay, so having stickers of little flying saucers all over your face is better than pimples?
08:03I thought it was until this conversation.
08:07Can I have the medicine, please?
08:09Yeah. Yeah. All right.
08:11Uh...
08:14Of course.
08:16Cherry flavored.
08:20Are you still trippin' about Usher?
08:22Ain't nobody trippin' off no Usher.
08:26Okay. Good.
08:28All right. Fine.
08:30Last night, Tina and I got into a little tiff.
08:34Why?
08:35Because she agreed with you, Marty, all of y'all.
08:39Y'all don't see how this cherry thing is disrespectful to a relationship.
08:44Oh, come on, Mr. B. Lighten up a little.
08:47The cherry thing, it's just...fun.
08:50Fun.
08:51If she wanted to have fun, she shouldn't have gotten married.
08:58And that is why there is a difference between saying,
09:01that's a nice sweater, and you really fill out that sweater.
09:08You get it now, Dan?
09:11Okay, I-I feel like the energy is flagging a bit,
09:14so, uh, it's candy time!
09:19Heads up!
09:20Ew!
09:21You hit me in the eye!
09:24I said heads up!
09:26Okay. You know what? Let's open up the floor.
09:29Who can share an experience where they felt like they were being disrespected?
09:33And please remember, no names.
09:36A guy came into the school and threw candy at my face.
09:41Again, I'm sorry you don't understand the phrase, heads up.
09:44Anyone else?
09:46I gave a third grader a B.
09:48The parents came after me, said I was ruining his chances at Harvard.
09:53Okay. Frustrating. I get that.
09:55Oh, the worst part was, an unnamed administrator told me to just take it.
10:01Mm, yes. This unnamed administrator seems completely checked out.
10:05Oh, they're supposed to have our back.
10:07Look, that unnamed administrator has a lot going on, okay?
10:11She can't handle everything for you.
10:13Or he. Let's not gender.
10:16This person used to care too much, and now she's just like, whatever.
10:21Ooh, and on crazy hair day, she came in with regular hair.
10:25We all look like idiots.
10:27I spent my whole night putting in cornrows.
10:33We're gonna have to have a separate sidebar about that.
10:36Gemma was busy, okay? She forgot.
10:39Okay, Tina, again, no names.
10:41She forgot? She forgot to do her job?
10:43Oh, now you're saying that she doesn't do her job.
10:46Too busy to do her job.
10:47No, she's been busy and back.
10:48Have your back?
10:49Listen, we don't have to have your back.
10:52Okay, look out, everyone.
10:53It's Clowney with a chance of milk duds.
10:58Jeez, your back is a mess.
11:01Just from playing with a baby?
11:03A toddler, okay? Way heavier than a baby.
11:08Hey, but look, I, um, I saw that video of you and Usher and...
11:12Oh.
11:15So this tension is less baby and more cherry.
11:19I guess.
11:20And I know, I know, I should not care about Usher giving you that cherry.
11:25But you do.
11:26Very much so.
11:30Malcolm, it's just a show.
11:33I've gotten cherries from Usher three times.
11:35I've taken a rose from Harry Styles.
11:38I've twerked on Drake.
11:39It's not that.
11:40I just, did you say you twerked on Drake?
11:45Don't tell me you're one of those controlling types.
11:47Oh, no. No, I am not, okay?
11:49I never have been, ever.
11:51And I've been with hundreds of women.
11:53Okay, because that's not gonna...
11:54Hundreds of women?
11:58No, not hundreds. I...
12:01Look, Mercedes, the point is, this, you and me,
12:06it just feels different.
12:09I get it.
12:11Usually when, um, Usher gives me the cherry,
12:14he grinds on me and I grind on him.
12:17That's not helpful.
12:20What I'm saying is...
12:23Last night, for the first time ever,
12:27I stopped the grind.
12:30Because I was thinking of you.
12:35Really?
12:36Yes.
12:38You ruined the grind for me, Malcolm.
12:43And I know we've only been together for a few months,
12:45but I've never felt like this about anyone.
12:49Ever.
12:51You've been married twice.
12:54And your point is?
12:59All I know is,
13:01I have spent my whole life
13:04waiting,
13:06worrying about making a commitment,
13:08overthinking everything.
13:10It's wasting time.
13:12Way too much time.
13:13And now,
13:15best thing that's ever happened to me
13:17is right here in front of me,
13:19and...
13:21I don't want to waste another minute.
13:24What are you saying?
13:26I am saying that I am in love with you.
13:33I'm in love with you, too.
13:36Whew.
13:37That's good to hear, because, uh...
13:39I'm about to do something crazy.
13:42How crazy?
13:43Well, I hope it's not too crazy,
13:46because...
13:48I don't have a ring,
13:49or anything like that.
13:50Whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:52Are you sure you want to be my third husband?
13:55No.
13:57I want to be your last...
14:00husband.
14:04Sadie.
14:09Will you marry me?
14:13Yes.
14:15Yes.
14:15Yes.
14:18Now get up and kiss me.
14:19Okay, I can't.
14:21Oh, okay, okay.
14:22I'll come down.
14:30Thank you, everyone.
14:32It's a great session.
14:34All right, let's get out of here.
14:35Ah, Gemma, we should really debrief.
14:37There are some staff who feel like the administration could be treating their concerns with a little more...
14:42Yeah.
14:42And that weasel Scott said that you've been acting like you don't have a damn left to give.
14:49Tina, no names.
14:50Okay, fine.
14:51You know, you have been a little checked out lately, but they told you a new one.
14:55Then Rick, Shoshanna, Betsy, and Phil jumped in.
14:59Oh, and then Janet started popping off.
15:02Tina, can you give us a minute, please?
15:04All right, I'm gonna go corner Tammy in the parking lot.
15:07No, please don't.
15:10Gemma, please take this with a grain of salt.
15:12You know, employees, they like to blow off steam.
15:15I don't know.
15:17I think maybe they're right.
15:21When Grover was here, I saw the school through rose-colored glasses.
15:25But now that he's graduated, I guess I'm just not feeling it anymore.
15:31You're still doing such a great job, and you're helping these kids so much.
15:37Am I?
15:38I mean, that's why I got into teaching, but now?
15:42Seems like I'm just kissing ass, raising money, and helping privileged parents get their entitled kids into Range Rovers.
15:51Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?
15:53Because I know it's a great job.
15:55And it pays well.
15:57The pension is amazing.
16:00I just...
16:02miss loving it.
16:06Tina and Tammy are in the parking lot, and their earrings are off.
16:10Oh, my.
16:17Calvin?
16:19Hey, Dave.
16:22Look.
16:22About last night.
16:24Look, I know that I can be a possessive old-school pain in the butt.
16:29Yes, go on.
16:33I'm sorry.
16:34You deserve everything that life has to offer.
16:37I want you to have every cherry in the world.
16:41Come on, have a seat.
16:44Well, why do you want me to sit down?
16:46Shh.
16:59Get it, baby.
17:00Get it.
17:05Get it.
17:06Aw, you're gonna have to do all of this.
17:10Girl, for what I paid for this coat, you're gonna get these cherries.
17:13Uh-oh.
17:17Mommy!
17:18Daddy!
17:23Would you relax?
17:24Your mama just having some fresh fruit.
17:26Girl!
17:27We gotta start locking that door.
17:29Oh, don't worry.
17:30I will be knocking.
17:33Hey, guys.
17:34Ooh, terrific coat, Calvin.
17:36Tina, I just wanted to thank you for...
17:37Ooh!
17:37Ooh!
17:40Yeah.
17:41Cherries!
17:42Uh, don't y'all have cherries at your house?
17:47Hey!
17:48Oh, no.
17:48No, no, no.
17:49Your parents are not receiving visitors.
17:52I think they are gonna wanna hear this.
17:55Uh, family?
17:57We have an announcement.
17:59Malcolm and I are getting married!
18:01Oh, my God!
18:03Oh, that is great!
18:06Oh, baby, isn't this wonderful?
18:09Oh!
18:09No!
18:11No, no, no.
18:13No, no, no.
18:14This isn't happening.
18:15Malcolm, you can't do this to me, man.
18:17What?
18:18You know I've been planning to propose to Courtney for months.
18:22I paid George Sakai $200 for a congratulatory cameo.
18:26Marty?
18:27Will you give me a second, girl?
18:29And here you come.
18:30You gonna wanna steal my thunder?
18:31Do you even have a ring?
18:32I have a ring, Malcolm!
18:34Marty!
18:39Oh, um...
18:41Hi, Courtney.
18:44You were gonna propose to me?
18:47You heard that, huh?
18:48You were yelling pretty loud, so...
18:55Okay, you know what?
18:57Screw it.
18:59Oh, my goodness.
19:02Courtney.
19:05Diane Pridgen.
19:07Will you marry me?
19:11No.
19:12No.
19:13No.
19:15No.
19:17Look at me.
19:18I'm gushing snot.
19:20I have pimple stickers all over my face.
19:22I...
19:23I have sweatpants on from the drugstore.
19:26This...
19:26This can't be the moment that I remember for the rest of my life.
19:30So all those stickers are zits?
19:36Yikes.
19:37Shh!
19:39Okay.
19:40Look, this isn't how I wanted to do this either.
19:45So...
19:46If today's no...
19:48Is another day's yes...
19:51Don't make any plans for April the 5th.
19:55First contact day?
19:58First contact day.
20:01Oh, my God.
20:03Oh, my God.
20:04Oh, my God.
20:08Calvin, you okay, baby?
20:10Yeah, no.
20:11No, it's just...
20:12It's just bright in here.
20:13Oh.
20:17Uh...
20:18Hey, little bro.
20:20Um...
20:20We didn't mean to steal your thunder.
20:22It wasn't planned at all.
20:25It's okay, man.
20:27I'm happy for you.
20:28I'm happy for you, too.
20:31You know who I'm happy for?
20:33Me!
20:34Oh, my goodness!
20:36I get to have two weddings!
20:39Oh, this is great!
20:41Two weddings?
20:42Yeah!
20:43I'm gonna have to return this coat.
20:45Oh!
20:53That's okay.
20:54About a $895 year.
21:02That looks perfect I kind of didn't have the month of April.
21:03Yeah!
21:12But it and, you know, it's at five miles for you.
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