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00:05Top Model was a pop culture sensation.
00:09The person that wins is going to go from being nobody
00:11to being the star in eight weeks.
00:14Tyra Banks was the air that we breathed.
00:16Everyone wanted to be her.
00:18Tyra wasn't trying to help these girls.
00:20They were trying to create a great TV show.
00:23The crazy the models were,
00:25the better ratings they got on television.
00:27I don't understand why I don't have any friends.
00:29I break my daughter all day.
00:32Why do you her?
00:33The psych evaluations were no joke.
00:35It also shows Tyra.
00:36Do we think they can handle the pressure?
00:38They were weaponizing my childhood trauma for entertainment.
00:42She's drunk.
00:43They just with me emotionally.
00:46Over the years, it became more and more exploitative.
00:48Brittany, an African-American woman.
00:50There are literally people in blackface on TV in the 2000s.
00:55This is all people see.
00:57Ezra's beautiful cover girl.
00:58It seems like Tyra is sort of working her out on other people.
01:02Tyra was breaking the girls down so she could feel better about herself.
01:06Be quiet, everybody.
01:07Be quiet.
01:08Borrow something from this.
01:10When you create an environment that you told me was going to be better than this,
01:14and then you make it worse, that's **** up.
01:24I have the opportunity to introduce a special guest for you here this evening.
01:29She's beauty.
01:30She's grace.
01:31She's writing a tell all book about her time on America's Next Top Model.
01:34Are you ready?
01:35Please give it up for Sarah Hartshorn!
01:43For years after the show, I defended it like crazy.
01:47And people would ask, like, wasn't it terrible?
01:49Wasn't it awful? And I'd say, no, no, no.
01:51I was on America's Next Top Model after the show,
01:54worked for many years as a plus-size model.
01:57And then I quit modeling, gained a bunch of weight,
02:00became a plus-size person.
02:01Weird how those aren't the same thing.
02:04I was convinced that Tyra and the producers
02:07never meant any ill will or had any bad intentions.
02:11They were just trying to make good TV.
02:14But then in 2020, a lot of people rewatched the show
02:16and sort of started to come to terms
02:19with how problematic a lot of it had been.
02:21There was so much body shaming on the show.
02:23I didn't even realize the comments they were making were toxic.
02:25And it was this, like, sort of awakening.
02:28And I had it at the same time.
02:30People kept saying, that's so messed up, that's so messed up.
02:32And I was like, wait, was that so messed up?
02:46We all have that fantasy that we're gonna be plucked out of obscurity
02:51and we're gonna become rich and famous.
02:52But even those who won Top Model,
02:55while they might be famous as reality personalities,
02:58were never really that famous as models.
03:02Maybe in the first few seasons, Tyra earnestly believed in her ability
03:07to make a career modeling for these women.
03:09But once you have evidence that your show
03:11doesn't actually do anything for anybody,
03:14well, you got a machine going. Keep making the money.
03:17A lot of people might have assumed that we were paid to be on that show.
03:21We were not paid to be on the show.
03:23We worked 12, 16-hour days.
03:26And even when we were sleeping, there were cameras on us.
03:29We were given $37 a day to buy our food.
03:33These girls don't get residuals.
03:35And then Tyra says, go back to your life with no money.
03:40Well, I collect millions and millions off of their faces.
03:51Adrienne Curry won the first season of Top Model.
03:54And the first couple of seasons,
03:56they got this coveted cover girl contract.
04:00I'm really happy with Adrienne's success.
04:02She has cosmetics contracts.
04:04She's doing really, really well.
04:06And she's making a lot of money.
04:08Like, a lot.
04:11This is before the era of these contestants being all over social media.
04:16So, if you tell me that Adrienne Curry is doing incredibly well
04:21and making a lot of money, I have no way of fact-checking that.
04:24A $100,000 contract does not mean a $100,000 check.
04:28It was actually just the promise of the opportunity
04:33to do $100,000 worth of work over a year.
04:38But there was a clause that said that if circumstances arise
04:43and that work can't be provided,
04:46they were under no obligation to pay you.
04:50After five months, I'm kind of like, uh, what's going on?
04:57It wasn't going to be a big cosmetics campaign.
05:00It was just going to be convention work.
05:01They knew that my mom was about to lose her house.
05:05And I was told, you win this.
05:07You're a millionaire overnight.
05:08You take care of your family.
05:10And, you know, I told my family this,
05:13and I felt like I failed them.
05:21America's next top model is...
05:27Yolana.
05:28The day when Tyra showed my picture,
05:30it was almost like cold water thrown at my face.
05:34I wasn't expecting the win.
05:37It was almost just like an out-of-body experience.
05:41But then it really hit the next day
05:44when I went to New York City
05:45and I signed with the modeling agency.
05:49And my mother said,
05:50well, where's Yolana going to stay?
05:51And they said, we don't know.
05:54For one year, I was indebted to the franchise
05:58America's Next Top Model.
06:00I had to do a lot of appearances.
06:02I never got paid for any of them.
06:05I was sleeping on a couch
06:06and I had to figure out
06:09how am I going to eat.
06:14Tyra's production company at the time
06:16was quite literally called Bankable Productions, right?
06:19Which is the play on her name.
06:20But you copyright the format
06:23and then sell it all over the globe.
06:25Then you do get to literally rake in
06:28a lot of the profits.
06:3645 different countries worldwide
06:40had their own version of Top Model.
06:43Tyra Banks became a mogul.
06:46She was a Top Model actress,
06:49creator and executive producer
06:51of a global franchise.
06:55It feels really good.
06:57Having a show be such a hit
06:58and be so successful
06:59just makes me just go home at night
07:01and smile as I'm going to sleep.
07:03I left the show broker
07:05than I'd ever been in my life.
07:16Why do you want to be a supermodel?
07:18Being a supermodel,
07:18you have to have that confidence.
07:20And you guys are going to speak like a supermodel.
07:22In the first season,
07:23the word supermodel appeared way more
07:26than it did in the subsequent seasons.
07:27Those clients wanted to book you.
07:30That's the signs of a Top Model in the making.
07:33Thereafter, it was America's Next Top Model.
07:36And I don't think that that shift is a mistake.
07:41I think a lot of girls really expect a lot
07:43from Tyra Banks.
07:45Being that she picked them
07:47and she should be the one to create their careers.
07:50But in all honesty, the show is about Tyra Banks.
07:54And I don't think she's going to try
07:56to make you more famous than her.
07:59Tyra loves to portray herself
08:01as somebody who has a helping hand.
08:05No, she's doing this all to manipulate people
08:08for her own profit.
08:11The central delusion of the show
08:13is that Tyra is helping you
08:16just because you are getting exposure
08:19because you're on TV.
08:20But being on television is not help.
08:23It's not.
08:27I grew up in the hood of Buffalo.
08:29East Side Girl through and through,
08:31716 all day.
08:33I was always tall, always skinny.
08:36So that meant that I got ridiculed
08:39because I didn't look like the other girls.
08:41In the urban community, I wasn't curvy,
08:46wasn't thick.
08:47And I remember Tyra saying that she got bullied
08:51for being tall and skinny.
08:52And I was like, oh my God.
08:53I got bullied for being tall and skinny too.
08:56Girl, we are soul sisters.
08:58And in cycle 14, I was okay with placing top four
09:01because some of the girls who don't win get signed.
09:05Oh, trust me.
09:06You will be seeing you again.
09:07Know that.
09:08High hopes for you.
09:11So I thought, the agencies will be calling me.
09:15No.
09:15Nobody called me.
09:17Nobody wanted to work with me.
09:19Because of how I was portrayed on the show.
09:21Okay, because you want me to be this hood ghetto bitch?
09:23No, I know how to conduct myself, bitch.
09:25I worked at a bank.
09:27Urban, ghetto, whatever you want to call it.
09:29And they said they can't market that.
09:31And that scares clients.
09:34There was embarrassment because I had been on such a big show
09:38that shows in so many countries,
09:40and then I had nothing to show for it.
09:42When they called me to do All Stars,
09:45I just wanted another chance.
09:47I went through all the past cycles
09:49and brought back your favorite.
09:52As Top Model goes on,
09:54you have to keep the format fresh.
09:56You start to see the show needing to come up
09:59with more kinds of gimmicks.
10:01In Cycle 17, the All Stars Cycle,
10:04they brought back all of these returning contestants.
10:09Cycle 5 made me the enemy of my own life
10:12around the globe on repeat.
10:14Well, then why'd you go back?
10:17I went back for revenge.
10:18I went back for redemption.
10:20I went back to change my life.
10:23But one of the biggest, biggest red flags on All Stars was
10:28they kept us in the vans for like four or five hours
10:36with paper bags over our heads.
10:40Do you know what this all reminds me of?
10:44The Stanford Prison Experiment.
10:48With the Stanford Prison Experiment in 1971,
10:51you're putting people in prison.
10:53Some are given roles as wardens.
10:56Some are given roles as prisoners.
10:58And then you watch what happens.
11:01Before the Stanford Prison Experiment started,
11:03they had everybody line up and sit on these benches
11:07and made them wear paper bags over their heads for hours
11:11to make them vulnerable
11:13and feel completely out of place and confused.
11:18That's what they did to us on All Stars.
11:22The bag over the head.
11:24If I had hair, girl, I'd be pulling it right now
11:26because it was stressful.
11:30It's important to keep in mind
11:31where reality television comes from.
11:34In the 1960s and 1970s,
11:36you actually have these sociological experiments
11:38that are recorded and then broadcast on television,
11:42taking real people and putting them
11:44in very sort of arduous situations
11:47to see how they will react.
11:50There's an idea that if you throw ordinary people
11:53into extraordinary circumstances,
11:54you will learn something about human nature.
11:58And I think that America's Next Top Model
12:00is very much building on that legacy.
12:04What makes reality television so compelling
12:06is that you get to see real people
12:08feel really vulnerable.
12:10However, how can it showcase that vulnerability
12:13without exploiting it?
12:19And then we're in Greece.
12:21It was the Cycle 17, the All Stars, the finale.
12:26It's Allison, it's Anjali, and it's me.
12:30The top three.
12:31The final three.
12:33The final runway.
12:34The gods, the goddesses.
12:36It was so hot on the beach.
12:38The whole set looked like it was half broken down.
12:43And then I won this show.
12:49I couldn't believe it.
12:51Like, oh, my God.
12:53I'm going to be able to take this opportunity
12:55and really just live out my dreams again
12:58and just do it right,
12:59because now I'm a little bit more gamed up.
13:01I can move and I can network properly, you know?
13:04This is great.
13:06A few weeks later, I was back in Buffalo,
13:10and I had gotten a phone call.
13:12And it was from Michelle Mock, the casting director.
13:17She was like, hey, we want to fly you to New York City
13:21because we want to talk about sponsorships since you won.
13:25Okay, fine.
13:29I end up going to the Mandarin Oriental,
13:32which is a five-star hotel.
13:36And the attorney for CBS is there.
13:38The casting director, Michelle Mock, is there.
13:42And was like, now we need to get down to business.
13:45I'm like, oh, okay.
13:50We can't air you as the winner.
13:53And I was like, why?
13:56Because you were engaging in sex work.
14:12After Cycle 14, before I went on All Stars,
14:15I was in a bind and I was just desperate to,
14:19you know, to make some money.
14:24And someone took advantage of me.
14:26A predator swooped in and just put me on a path of self-loathing
14:33and destruction and harm.
14:38I obviously didn't make the best choice,
14:41but I was desperate and I wasn't thinking straight.
14:46Now, here I am at the Mandarin Oriental.
14:50So, I just won this show.
14:54This show that will change my life for the better.
14:57Just for them to take my shit away from me.
15:01I get why they technically can do that.
15:06Because escorting is illegal.
15:09But for a show that is gifting a prize for selling beauty,
15:16to disqualify a woman using her agency to sell her beauty,
15:22is hypocritical, sexist, and misogynist.
15:32Before All Stars, I meet with the casting director,
15:36Michelle Mock, in L.A.
15:39She's asking me,
15:40what have you been up to since the show?
15:42Oh, just modeling?
15:44Anything else?
15:45She flat out asked me.
15:47She was like,
15:49were you being pimped?
15:53She held my hand and she said,
16:00I know what happened to you,
16:03but I want you to take this opportunity and run with it.
16:08That is exactly what she said.
16:10This is like confirming that somebody knew what happened to me.
16:16They knew everything about all of us.
16:19You literally have our blood type and our fingerprints.
16:23She was set up from the very beginning
16:25to be the one that's disqualified at the end.
16:31Anjali didn't make any money doing the thing
16:34you promised you would help her make money doing.
16:37And you snatch it away from her.
16:40That's cruel.
16:43My dream was right there.
16:45Like someone dangling candy in front of a kid.
16:48Like almost, almost, almost.
16:50I was supposed to walk away with $100,000
16:53but they gave me $300 cash.
16:57Like some pity money that sent me on my way.
17:03Two months later, the producers called me.
17:06We're going to do a reshoot for the finale.
17:10And then on the show, they said Anjali is disqualified.
17:15It turns out that after shooting was wrapped, our production team and the network learned information from Anjali that disqualifies
17:22her from the competition.
17:25America's next top model is Lisa.
17:32So when the episode aired, Lisa is the on-air winner of Cycle 17 All Stars.
17:40Nothing about me being the original winner or why we had to disqualify Anjali.
17:47So now the trending topic on Twitter was me.
17:50What happened to Anjali?
17:52I went back to change the narrative so people would stop calling me an alcoholic bitch.
17:58That definitely didn't happen.
18:00They actually made it worse.
18:03There was fans coming after me, asking what happened to Anjali.
18:10So now I have people reaching out to me and of course I don't want to talk about it because
18:14I'm embarrassed.
18:15I just went through something so traumatic.
18:17The attorney for CBS told me, you know, Anjali, you did this to yourself.
18:23Yes, thank you.
18:24Thank you for being so kind and telling me that I up.
18:28People kept talking about it.
18:30And so they brought in the ratings.
18:33I felt used.
18:35I felt like a throwaway.
18:38There could have been a sensible excuse as to why Anjali didn't make the final runway.
18:44She got sick or something.
18:47But y'all wanted people to question what happened to me to boost your ratings.
18:54It's not right.
18:55It was wrong.
18:57The system we're in already punishes poverty.
18:59You told me that if I worked hard I could get this thing.
19:03I got it and you took it from me.
19:06And then to strip that s*** from her and she actually needs it and you give it to a white
19:13woman?
19:15You gotta be f***ing kidding me, yo.
19:26It wasn't always about who the best model was.
19:29It was about who would be the best spokesperson for the brand.
19:33Top Model took Anjali's win away because Cover Girl allegedly was not happy that an escort won.
19:43If you have a presenting sponsor that pays for production, you gotta keep your presenting sponsor happy.
19:50By Cycle 24 wasn't even a modeling competition anymore.
19:54It was a gimmicky TV show.
19:56Whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:58It's a big step.
19:59Okay.
20:01Tyra over the years was really good at fetishizing and gimmicking up people who looked even more different than the
20:10different she used to celebrate.
20:12And what makes you interesting, special, different?
20:15I have a disease called alopecia universalis, so it's autoimmune.
20:18It attacks my hair follicles and my hair falls out.
20:20It's hard to talk about.
20:24I was like a super fan of the show before I was even on it.
20:28I know the show like the back of my hand, every winner, every contestant, from every season.
20:33I had a lot of insecurities about losing my hair, but I thought being on the show was an opportunity
20:40for me to kind of find myself and figure out who I was without other people telling me like what
20:44was beautiful.
20:46But out of all 24 seasons of America's Next Top Model, the sponsor has always been a makeup brand.
20:54My season was the only season that the sponsor was a hair company.
21:00How was I ever going to win once I was told Pantene was the sponsor?
21:04I don't have hair.
21:06You cast a girl with alopecia on a hair product competition.
21:12I mean, it's cruel. It's evil.
21:15Look, I can imagine to be a buxom 17-year-old black girl in France selling your looks.
21:23You're probably treated like a zoo animal, but you promised me you were going to do it different.
21:29So why didn't you do it different?
21:32Right away during my audition process, I walked into the room.
21:35I was like, hi, I'm Gina.
21:37They were like, so you went from childhood modeling to like va-va-boom.
21:42And Tyra's like looking at me like this.
21:44And I was like, are you guys referring to Playboy?
21:48As soon as I said that, I noticed Tyra's expression changed to like kind of smug and like cold.
21:56And when I said the idea of selling sex worked for me, being sexy in my career worked for me.
22:01Tyra didn't like that.
22:03And her response to me was, you sound like a prostitute.
22:08Tyra made an entire career off of being sexy.
22:10I mean, the biggest thing she's known for is Victoria's Secret.
22:13It blew my mind that she was that offended by it.
22:17And this is within minutes of meeting somebody that I idolized my entire life.
22:22So I told them I lost my hair at the same time every girl was getting boobs and like having
22:27a glow up.
22:28I did something to grow into and step into my own femininity.
22:33And as soon as I said that, she looks at me and goes, now tell me about alopecia while I'm
22:38mid breakdown.
22:40I see a very beautiful girl with hair or without hair.
22:44Do your next film and fierce.
22:47None of the conversation about Playboy and why I was crying like that was ever shown.
22:52That was the first, the very first way that they manipulated my emotions to get a certain scene.
23:01They always would do this manipulation surrounding the concept of my story with my hair.
23:06I am ready with your tie holders.
23:09Gina, that wig that you have, you're gonna have to say goodbye to her.
23:12I never saw that video. I never saw Tyra say that to me.
23:16I was told I was getting a wig.
23:17The editing process changed that video.
23:20Can we take your wig off now?
23:22Because I don't even know what's under.
23:25I just never know. It's a surprise at a time.
23:27Like I always hope that there's hair that ever since there's not.
23:30They literally just told me they were giving me hair and then all of a sudden it was different.
23:35I had never shaved my head like that before.
23:38It felt like touching a snake.
23:40Like, and I just felt like creepy crawly in my own skin.
23:45Looking back on it, their editing was that deceptive that they were actually able to make an audience think that
23:51I felt powerful.
23:56I felt so small.
24:02How do you get the reality TV show Emmy?
24:04Make sure you have a sad arc of someone who's gone through some massive struggle to show why their circumstances
24:13are so desperate that they're entitled to public sympathy.
24:18The production of the show really know how to make sure that they cast girls that came from a really
24:26hard or toxic childhood background.
24:30Tell me about growing up and all the things that you went through and all the tragedy.
24:35I've been just passed off to family members a lot.
24:41I was molested, raped.
24:44They were really good at casting someone who was struggling with something.
24:48You got brothers and sisters.
24:50You're my brother's dad.
24:53I think Renee from my season was going through some things in her life already.
24:58Tyra, you have to understand, I have a family to take care of.
25:01My husband was living on the beach.
25:02My son's living with his mom.
25:04I have a lot on my shoulders right now.
25:07And something was kind of spiraling.
25:09Listen, I do talk.
25:11I don't feel guilty about talking .
25:12And people have been disrespectful to me.
25:15Is that true?
25:15Y'all don't like me either?
25:19After the show, Renee, she was in a bad way.
25:24There were a string of arrests.
25:27Alway accused of breaking into people's homes and cars, stealing weapons, money and other valuable items.
25:35Renee did an interview in prison.
25:39I was, like, in shock.
25:42Everybody says, well, wow, you have all this great opportunity.
25:44But when it comes down to it, I got into the world and I went, okay, like, here I am,
25:50you know, ready to do this.
25:51And it was just closed door after closed door after closed door.
25:54I couldn't get past the reality TV stigma that had been put on me.
26:01And then there's Mariana Pujar, Cyclist 21.
26:06I felt like we had, like, a similar shared path and background.
26:12She was this girl who was also an urban girl, a girl with a little sass, a little spunk.
26:17There's a little toughness in there.
26:19Yeah.
26:19Where does that come from?
26:20I had, like, an abusive boyfriend at 13.
26:22I didn't have that love for my dad, so I was kind of looking for that with him.
26:26And just, like, all the urban girls, girls like me, girls who are labeled with an attitude.
26:32She was having a hard time getting signed after being portrayed as difficult or as a villain.
26:39She's young.
26:39She has no direction.
26:41She picked the wrong guy to love.
26:44I was so upset about how she was treated like nothing.
26:55She was killed.
27:04Yeah, you want that prize, don't you?
27:08Reality TV in general, people will get cast who are relying on this to make their paycheck.
27:14I was hoping that I could use this to pay off all of the bills that, you know, we're swimming
27:20in debt.
27:20We don't have any place to live.
27:22And I just feel like I failed.
27:23I feel like I failed my family.
27:25They are easy to exploit because they are the most desperate and are willing to accommodate the most things.
27:31If I think that Tyra Banks is my only shot, I'm going to give everything I have.
27:38Okay, it's just six weeks of this crazy, crazy competition, and I'll never have to live in a roach-infested
27:45apartment again.
27:45Well, then I'm going to do every challenge to the max.
27:49When you come from a background where you're used to being abused, being taken advantage of,
27:55you're already used to not standing up for yourself, not setting boundaries.
28:01So it's very easy for productions like this to emotionally manipulate us for entertainment,
28:09and Tyra just gets away with it.
28:20I don't think Tyra had a responsibility to take care of these women.
28:24It would have been relatively impossible, but she had a responsibility to be honest with them.
28:30And I think where she chose to employ that honesty ultimately was cruel,
28:35and where the honesty was needed was completely ignored.
28:41When Mirianna passed away, Tyra's post was like,
28:45Oh, Mirianna, we love you forever, forever in our hearts.
28:51And I was just like, Girl, that is bull .
28:56Tyra and the judges say they care about us, they want us to have a good career.
29:00We believe this.
29:02But if y'all would have reached out to her and helped her,
29:06could she have been in a different situation?
29:12I did not get a single phone call from Tyra, from anybody checking up.
29:18Wow. Filming all stars.
29:22Ken Mock, he came in the room and he says,
29:24I just want to thank you girls so much because you girls put my girls through college.
29:30And the silence in the room at that point was deafening.
29:35We did not come on this show to make your family's life better.
29:40We came on this show to make our lives better.
29:43I wanted to be able to give young girls that dream because it's an amazing dream,
29:46and I had the power to give them that dream.
29:49Call it for what it is.
29:51It's a business to you and that's fine.
29:53Don't go and do a media blitz about how you care about us.
29:57You didn't and you don't.
30:00I really do think that sometimes Tyra thought she was doing good things.
30:05It's not true, but when you get high off your own supply,
30:12more than making a bajillion dollars, she got an ego stroke.
30:18Tyra's face was all over the place.
30:20In the house, on the show, it was an environment of worship,
30:25like a sort of a deity situation.
30:27Tyra created her own language, which she has trademarked a smize.
30:33Smize!
30:34Smiling with your eyes.
30:35Booty tooch.
30:36A booty tooch.
30:38H to T.
30:39I need a little bit more H to T. What does that mean?
30:42Head to...
30:44You get Tyra mail that like leaves a little cryptic riddle
30:47about what your next challenge is going to be.
30:49Solid tips.
30:51Prepare to die.
30:52The branding of the whole situation is like Tyra.
30:55It's Tyra's world. We're in it.
30:58I read the book Cultish about cults of every level.
31:02And it really breaks down the tools that they all use.
31:06Top model.
31:08They used all of them.
31:11The unifying definition that people have around
31:14what makes something a cult or not is high control.
31:17They control when we went to the bathroom,
31:18when we ate, when we slept,
31:20when we were allowed to speak to each other.
31:21They isolated us from our friends and family.
31:23We weren't allowed to have magazines.
31:25We weren't allowed to have newspapers.
31:26We weren't allowed to have anything that showed
31:27what day it was, or what time it was.
31:31Down to using the same phrase over and over again.
31:34If you violate the confidentiality agreement,
31:36we will dock your wages for the rest of your life.
31:38We will dock your wages for the rest of your life.
31:40We will dock your wages for the rest of your life.
31:44tyra is the sun and the moon because it's her show and she holds your fate in her hands
31:53if you think about the main season cast photos where they will slowly just remove people like
31:59they just disappear it's like tyra controls who gets to exist who does not get to exist
32:06we were so sucked into doing what they wanted and just following every order because tyra banks
32:16was just the air that we breathed we would do anything for her i think fame and validation
32:25are two different things because tyra was famous but she wanted to be revered and respected
32:32designers don't talk about tyra the way designers talk about naomi campbell
32:37i think that's the kind of thing that eats at tyra we know tyra banks she is famous i think
32:44she wants
32:45more than that
32:56you've just seen the beginning of tyra she is starting to build an empire
33:00she looks up to oprah like nobody else
33:07i don't think tyra gets the tyra show if tyra doesn't do top model i don't think anyone is like
33:14oh yeah this one girl who did victoria's secret i want to hear what her opinions are
33:23tyra wanted me to come on the tyra bank show and the producer called me and said we'll pay 750
33:30and we want to interview you about your childhood trauma and i said not happening we all agree that
33:36we will just talk about your experience on top model great
33:41my makeup is done it's my turn to go get interviewed by tyra and all of a sudden i hear
33:49now i think everybody remembers lisa as what people the fans say the wild child from cycle five
33:55and then she said but what you don't know is that she has been physically and sexually abused
34:01most of her childhood
34:02it was like ice in my veins and then i look over and i see tyra just sitting there
34:11like you i was like you you i was so livid
34:19the pa really calmly takes me backstage
34:22and then he opens the door to some room and he just closes the door behind him
34:33they locked me in a closet
34:39i was in there i don't know like 20 30 minutes i was like i don't want to go back
34:44and they're like
34:45well then you aren't going to get the 750 dollars and so i go back up on stage and finish
34:50shooting
34:57i know tyra went through a lot but was she a hurt person hurting other people
35:04some people could give her that title
35:08but you know to be honest i don't think tyra really reveals herself very much to people
35:15you couldn't really get to her in that way
35:19i wish i could tell you what you get out of this experience except a lifetime of hate comments on
35:24instagram
35:26all i wanted was to have a career and to put money in my pocket
35:29i thought being on the show was going to get me in
35:32it turned out to be the opposite actually
35:36there were quite a few lasting effects after the show
35:39for a period of time it was um
35:43uncomfortable for me to eat in public
35:46because of feedback about my weight
35:51after the show i developed a workout disorder
35:56where i would want to burn almost everything that i'd eaten for the day
36:01i became so tiny until point where i stopped menstruating for two years
36:09and i went with a physician and he said you know you're now impacting sorry
36:17you're not going to be able to be a mother or have a child if you continue
36:25trying to always lose weight and be this thin
36:30and that really scared me
36:35who knows maybe these women would not have had a modeling career anyway
36:43but you promised me something and you didn't deliver my life is worse off
36:50and you own my face how are you any different from a pimp selling dreams
36:57in 2020 it was a moment of re-examination
37:02i decided to go on my instagram what you guys do and the way that you guys would poke me
37:11and use my childhood trauma against me day in and day out
37:16it was just so up i don't know how you sleep at night in that video it got like 190
37:23000 views like
37:25i don't know 2 000 comments like literally overnight it just blew up
37:31it opened the doors to where other girls were contacting me because what i had said was exactly what
37:39happened to them tyra banks you speak on all this female empowerment and building people up and
37:45accepting their differences when in reality you do the opposite
37:56it opened up this camaraderie and we didn't feel alone anymore
38:07i've gone through therapy i have had a great career in the world of broadcasting
38:14fashion reporting commentating and of course being a mom to my son alistair
38:21i've kind of given up being so hard on myself so i've come out stronger
38:30so i worked after the show as a model but i realized when i would show up to set
38:34that i was sick of being the least creative person there
38:38so i made the shift and i started working as a writer
38:42i just wrote my book called you want to be on top a memoir of makeovers manipulation and not
38:48becoming america's next top model when i started to write down the story and tell the things that
38:54happened that i had never said out loud before and it was surprisingly painful like when i saw my own
39:01words on the page i was like
39:05that was a human being that was doing that to me
39:10i ended up going back to school i am an award-winning journalist
39:16and i always say award-winning because you're going to put some respect on my name you know no
39:20matter what i've been through i'm here now part of the reason why i got into a journalism career
39:28was because i wanted to tell stories of people's voices who were silenced like how they tried to silence me
39:39all right so let's get into it first of all we need to have a lot of movement dimension and
39:46shapes who
39:46remembers those three key elements now i help other aspiring models and i develop them and help
39:55them start their own modeling careers with my company find your light oh i love and i've just
40:00gotten tons of models signed to modeling agencies and it has just been incredibly fulfilling to help
40:06these models establish their confidence in themselves more neck more neck more neck
40:12yeah i think long neck it's super important for you to be comfortable it's important that we feel
40:20safe and like somebody actually cares being a mom now the last thing that i want to do is
40:28raise two girls who have insecurities like i never want them to feel the way that i did
40:35the last thing this world needs is two more insecure little girls
40:38and for them to go seeking validation from someone who's also going to hurt them
40:45when people go you're just bitching it was reality tv back then tyra banks and ken mock are
40:50still profiting off of the tears and the trauma of girls to this day right now that's why i'm still
40:57sitting here that's why i'm still complaining i think about heidi klum who did project runway
41:04but she never actually became like the public character of the show when you contrast that to
41:09something like top model it really is a control exercise to ensure that people understand that tyra is
41:16the alpha no omega at the expense of the contestants i refuse to have my legacy be about some stuff
41:26linked
41:26together on the internet when there were 24 cycles of changing the world
41:36it didn't change the world didn't change my world it changed the world of the people you interacted with
41:43i don't know what's subversive about making pretty girls feel bad for not being pretty enough
41:50you didn't subvert anything tyra banks is a woman with all kinds of issues puppeteering a bunch of
41:59girls and giving them issues while she's working on her own issues get therapy you got the money for it
42:28you
42:29you
42:29you
42:29you
42:29you
42:30you
42:31you
42:32you
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