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00:02What do we know, y'all?
00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple rhymes be good for your health
00:10Keep them rhyme rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:15I believe it's never scared
00:18Radio noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, still a beautiful idea
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:24Get up, and shit
00:38Grab your ration book, find the nearest shelter
00:40and hope it's got TV reception
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg
00:47Tonight on the show, we'll pull apart the situation in the Middle East
00:50Decorate our winter Paralympians
00:52and build up some disability representation
00:56Plus we'll be joined by former conservative politician Penny Mordent
00:59and comedians Vittorio Angeloni and Jamali Maddox
01:03on the show that does it best to plaster over the cracks
01:21G'day! Hi everyone, I'm Adam Hills
01:24Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that heard that World War 3 is approaching
01:27and thought, thank God, not one of us is physically able to fight
01:33With his voice in the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:35and the man who heard, Iran has limited arms
01:38and thought, I know how you feel
01:41Alex Broca!
01:51You won't hear two better jokes about a world war in your life
01:56Look, we are going to cover everything that's going on in the world
01:59or at least we'll try to
02:00But before we get there, big news for Alex this week
02:03Big personal news, he's been on a journey of disability self-discovery, haven't you?
02:06Yeah, so, I've got myself a shower stool
02:12Oh
02:14Yay for mobility aids, but
02:16As I told you, the show has already peaked with those opening jokes
02:20It's not mine
02:21It's not mine, I nicked it off an old lady next door and I didn't
02:24Basically, so my wife done her Achilles
02:25She's done her Achilles and she, like, straight away
02:28Oh, bloody hell, it never rains but it pours in your ass, does it?
02:30It's quite romantic having matching limps
02:34The kids don't know who's quickest now
02:36But, so she went straight away
02:39She told her kid, it was literally, like, a couple of days later
02:41She goes and gets this shower stool
02:43And I'm like, what have you got that for?
02:44And she went, well, I'm not going to suddenly start showering on one leg, am I?
02:47That would be ridiculous
02:50And I was like, in 41 years, I'd never thought about that
02:56Like, I think it must be, like, disabled logic
03:00Like, we wake up in the morning and choose inspiration
03:03From the minute we wake up, we're like, why would I do it easy?
03:07I'm going to balance on one leg like a flamingo
03:10And try and get through a round of Britain's Got Talent every morning
03:13In the shower
03:14But all of a sudden, she's got this shower stool
03:16Yeah
03:16And it's mint
03:17It is, like, it's so much easier showering, sat down, than standing on one leg
03:23And, like, the best thing is, the other day, I was, like, just loving it
03:25Sat there, just, this is amazing
03:27And, like, all the soap was out
03:28And it, like, I looked down at my bits
03:30And it looked like they were in their own little jacuzzi
03:34And it looked like
03:35It looked like there was, like, an arm around
03:39All right, you're having a good time
03:41It was, like, it's the best
03:43It's the best thing
03:46Do you know what?
03:47I'm fucking done with this
03:48No, you're not
03:58If Alex talking about his meat and two veg having a jacuzzi
04:02Is the Paralympic legacy, count me out
04:05Well, you're not going to like this
04:07We've got a photo
04:08Oh, no
04:12Just to let you know
04:13That's, that's my hand in the picture
04:17I forgot that your disability is
04:19That you're pixelated from the waist down
04:25And how much do I have to pay on OnlyFans
04:27To see the full photo
04:29I don't know, with the new season of heated rivalries
04:31Looking a bit shit
04:34So, who took that?
04:35Me, like, so, no, so, you can see
04:37I got my arm out
04:39Yeah, it is
04:39I've got the good arm on it
04:41So, look, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh and I think you need more than just your average shower chair
04:47Yeah
04:47So, we've had a special arsenal chair, mate
04:50Oh, my gosh
04:51Just for showers
04:52Oh, wow
04:55Go on, go on
04:56And do you know what?
05:00After what Alex told me, that is the first and last time I'm touching that seat
05:05Do you want to come and have a seat on it?
05:06Yeah, of course, yeah
05:07So, it's got your arsenal drink, so you can have a drink in the shower
05:10And then you can listen to your stuff
05:12And then you put that on
05:14Like that
05:14Look at that
05:15Yeah, you can listen to Parenting Hill or a
05:17Well, you do look like
05:20Yeah, and so
05:23I'm going to turn it around because the most exciting thing is
05:26Go on
05:26All right, on the back it says
05:29Wash your face and your arsenal
05:31Oh, what a present
05:34Arsenal
05:40That's awesome
05:41Thank you
05:42Now, I'm going to be honest with you
05:44Here we go
05:44Oh, this is good
05:45That is not the chair we used in rehearsal
05:48Uh, because
05:50The chair
05:50This is what happened
05:51To the chair we used in rehearsal
05:56Imagine if this broke
05:58There you go
05:59And if we scoot it round
06:07I can't believe the stool's missing one leg
06:19Can I just say though
06:21Not one person came to help me
06:24I asked if you were okay
06:25Yeah, you did
06:26Thank you
06:26I didn't realise at the time
06:28You said imagine if this broke
06:30Literally seven seconds before it broke
06:33Now we are live
06:34Of course
06:34Which means you can send us any questions
06:35You want to ask us about the news
06:36Message us on Instagram
06:38The hashtags
06:38Is it okay
06:39On WhatsApp
06:40The number is 07956175908
06:43You can scan the QR code on your screen
06:45Do you know what
06:46Tonight we are going straight to the big story
06:48Abdul Mohammed said
06:49Is it okay that we might be going to World War III right now?
06:52So
06:53I'm sure you know what I'm about to say
06:55Because you've seen the news
06:56But
06:57Last Saturday
06:58America and Israel
06:58Launched airstrikes on Iran
07:00Hitting thousands of targets
07:01And killing the country's leader
07:03Ayatollah Ali Khamenei
07:05Iran then fired
07:06Hundreds of missiles
07:07And drones
07:08At nearby Arab states
07:09Hitting Dubai airport
07:10As well as an RAF base in Cyprus
07:12Israel
07:13Are now bombing sites in Lebanon
07:14While a US submarine
07:16Sank an Iranian navy ship
07:17Off the coast of Sri Lanka
07:18In short
07:20There's a war in the Middle East
07:21And it feels like it's happened
07:22Really quickly
07:23Do you know what I mean?
07:24Like last Friday
07:25We had no inkling
07:26It's like
07:26None of us saw this coming
07:27Including the Ayatollah
07:29It's like
07:30Well
07:31Particularly the Ayatollah
07:32Yeah
07:33You say it's moving too quickly
07:34Like a criticism of a relationship
07:38Yeah
07:38Well last Friday
07:39We were talking
07:40I mean this gives a perspective
07:41Seven days ago
07:42In this room
07:42Talking about how important
07:43The Gorton and Denton biolet
07:46Do you know what?
07:47When people said
07:47The Greens were dangerous
07:49It turns out they were
07:50Doesn't it?
07:50The thing is
07:51Like
07:51Obviously
07:52We're all worried about
07:53World War III
07:54Kicking off
07:54And all week
07:55I've been going like
07:55If China get involved in this
07:57Then it's really
07:58Going to boot off
07:59And obviously
07:59You know
08:00Iran were looking to China
08:01To support them
08:02But China have told Iran
08:03Basically
08:04They're not
08:04They're not going to send them
08:05Any troops
08:06Instead they're essentially
08:07Going to offer them
08:08Moral support
08:10And Iran
08:11And Iran must be going
08:12Whoa
08:12Hang on a second
08:13You've got the biggest army
08:14In the world
08:14We don't want a fucking shoulder
08:16To cry
08:17Look it's kind of hard to know
08:19Who to cheer for
08:20Because on the one hand
08:20America and Israel
08:21May have broken international law
08:24By bombing a country unprovoked
08:25But on the other hand
08:26The Iranian regime were
08:27And I think this is the
08:28Politically correct term
08:31Absolute assholes
08:32They came to power
08:33In the Islamic revolution
08:34In 1979
08:35And introduced strict religious laws
08:37And brutal morality police
08:39That made Iran
08:40Go from looking like this
08:41To looking like this
08:44Like it's like
08:45Flicking over from
08:45Austin Powers
08:46To The Handmaid's Tale
08:47The Iranian regime
08:48Has threatened the existence
08:50Of Israel
08:50It's funded terrorism worldwide
08:51And this year alone
08:52It's killed tens of thousands
08:53Of protesters
08:54These are not nice dudes
08:55But you know
08:56You're the bad guy
08:57When Trump and Netanyahu
08:59Criticise you
08:59And the rest of the world
09:00Go actually
09:01They've got a point
09:01On Sunday
09:03Millions of Iranians
09:04Worldwide celebrated
09:05The possible downfall
09:05Of the regime
09:06Despite the fact
09:07That their country
09:08Was being bombed
09:08Jeremy Vine showed
09:10Footage of the celebrations
09:11But misunderstood
09:12Where it was coming from
09:13And created a perfect moment
09:14Of accidental partridge
09:17We've got to show you
09:18Some footage here
09:18By the way
09:19From Iran
09:20Of people dancing
09:22Like Trump
09:25So that
09:26I gather that's in Iran
09:27And they're doing
09:28The Trump dance
09:28Which is just basically
09:29A very slight move
09:30Of the hips
09:30And
09:31Oh where is it
09:32Where is it
09:33It's not Iran
09:36It's crucially
09:37Not Iran
09:38And that's very important
09:39Because if it was in Iran
09:40They might all be killed
09:48So look
09:49On the one hand
09:49Hooray
09:50A bad guy's been removed
09:51But on the other hand
09:52America doesn't have
09:52A great record
09:53Of removing bad guys
09:54In the Middle East
09:55And leaving it better
09:55Than they found it
09:56Just to reassure you though
09:58That the adults
09:58Are in control
09:59The American government
10:00Are calling this
10:01Operation Epic Fury
10:03I mean it's giving
10:04Men naming their own penises
10:06I tell you what gives
10:08Men naming their own penises
10:09Energy
10:10Yeah
10:10Alex in the shower
10:12That was Operation Epic Fury
10:26I'm surprised that Trump
10:27Didn't want to call it
10:28Operation
10:29Forget I'm in the Epstein files
10:33Yeah
10:34We'll get to that
10:35In a minute
10:37It's been kind of bonkers
10:39The way
10:39Watching the way
10:40America have just
10:41Broadcast this to the world
10:42Especially on social media
10:44They released this
10:45Really aggressive video
10:46That shows how
10:47They've pretty much
10:48Turned the war
10:49Into a meme
10:51We're going to
10:52Annihilate their navy
10:55We're going to
10:56Ensure that the
10:57Region's terrorist
10:58Proxies
10:59Can no longer
11:00Destabilise the region
11:02Or the world
11:04We will ensure
11:05That Iran does not
11:06Obtain a nuclear
11:08Weapon
11:10We will do this
11:11As long as it takes
11:12To achieve those objectives
11:13And we will achieve
11:14Those objectives
11:14The world will be
11:15A safer place
11:16When we're done
11:17With this operation
11:22It looks like
11:22It's come out
11:23Of South Park
11:25It's a wonder
11:25They didn't end with
11:26Oh my god
11:26They killed Kemeni
11:36And if you think
11:37America's tweet
11:38Was tasteless
11:38Check out this
11:39Unbelievable post
11:40This was genuinely
11:41Put out by the
11:41Israeli Defence Force
11:45Nothing beats the Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:53Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:53Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:55Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:56Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:56Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:56Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:57Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:57Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
11:57Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
12:05Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet Jet
12:13Jet
12:14That's my issue if you're gonna meme about war make it topical exactly what's next how many schools did you
12:20bomb six seven
12:29You know what that's the first time a man in his fifties has done six seven and I've liked it
12:37So why these fifties sorry
12:41So why is this happen now the truth is we don't know and neither does America
12:45Okay first the Secretary of State Marco Rubio said Israel we're gonna strike Iran
12:49So America got in first to stop Iran hitting back then Trump said he had heard Iran was getting ready
12:54to strike
12:55Israel with a nuclear weapon so he hit them first
12:58But he also said last year he had completely destroyed Iran's nuclear capabilities
13:03But the thing is so the White House press secretary Karen Leavitt generally said that the war started because
13:09Trump Trump had a feeling right oh, it's that's not that's not a feeling to have to start a war
13:16You can have a feeling that tonight. It's gonna be a good night
13:21If you've got the feeling jump up to the ceiling are you getting down tonight? That's it?
13:27Some experts are saying the u.s. basically received word that the ayatollah was meeting his senior advisors at a
13:32compound and they just thought
13:34This is a window of opportunity. Let's take him out
13:37So it wasn't even planned. They just went oh, we've got a shot. Let's go
13:40Very much like when Alan Carr took out Paloma Faith during Celebrity
13:43With less of a dramatic fallout
13:48Further to what you said before though earlier today a new document from the Epstein files was released that contains
13:54Unsubstantiated claims that Donald Trump abused a minor
13:56But I mean, I'm sure that's not why he attacked Iran and sent the whole region into war
14:02Is it I mean remember when people thought a female president would be too emotional?
14:09Meanwhile, Israel have said they will take out whoever's chosen to replace the ayatollah
14:13They're gonna take him out. What a tough job to advertise for
14:16Wanted interim ayatollah must have ability to work under pressure start date ASAP
14:22It's a tough gig that interim ayatollah does sound like a great reality show though
14:26doesn't it?
14:27And the people that brought you milf manor interim ayatollah
14:31I've heard Igor Tudor's applied for it because it's easier to be in Spurs
14:37Don't know what that means
14:45But do you know what? We all enjoyed it. We all enjoyed it
14:48A whole bunch of words
14:50But imagine that job interview like interviewing someone to be the next ayatollah
14:55Well, how do you so what's your biggest weakness? Oh, I don't know
14:59Sometimes I love Allah just too much
15:01The most likely leader at the moment is the old ayatollah's son apparently
15:05Bloody nepo baby's getting on it
15:08Donald Trump said last night he wants to choose the next leader of Iran
15:12What like going back to the apprentice?
15:16Apparently when the bombs went off he went you're fired you're fired
15:20Trump also said today he wants to make Iran great again
15:24He wants to make Iran great again
15:27I don't think that hat's gonna sell as well
15:31The thing is Donald Trump doesn't want Iran to be led by a despotic religious fanatic
15:36Who uses his faith as an excuse to do whatever the hell he wants and is fawned over by everyone
15:39around him
15:40And yet this afternoon in the White House this happened
15:44That is Donald Trump being prayed for by evangelical pastors who are laying hands on him
15:52I mean at least the ayatollah believed in his religion
15:56It looks like the last one to let go wins a truck
16:08It's all well and good like praying with him
16:11And like maybe Jesus or God are listening
16:14But if they are I'd like to think they wouldn't start intervening with someone in the Epstein files
16:20Fauna Buehler said is it okay that Keir Starmer got our air bases involved
16:24So the Prime Minister refused to let the US use British air bases to launch their initial attacks on Iran
16:28But when Iran started firing missiles willy-nilly he let the US use our bases for defensive strikes
16:33Basically when America tried to go all the way Keir Starmer wouldn't let them get to first base
16:37But when things got heated he said sure but only over the shirt
16:41Did he do the right thing?
16:42I mean I don't know who knows with Keir Starmer because I just assume every option he picks
16:48He's a sort of geezer where it's always the wrong option
16:51You know if he was in Tesco he always goes to the queue that like he thinks it's always going
16:55to be the longest
16:57Revels you know if Keir Starmer goes into the Revels he gets a coffee one every time
17:02It is I don't know is the answer because it's so
17:06Sometimes you do go do you know what being Prime Minister is a fucking nightmare
17:11Like he can't he makes the wrong decision then he switches and that's the wrong decision
17:16And then he's pissed off Donald Trump but then he's also pissed off the left
17:19And you're like do you know what mate
17:22Just have a fucking break like it must be a nightmare
17:26I quite like the decision that he made I like that he didn't go in straight away
17:30Because it was he basically went this is against the rule of law and we're not going to do this
17:34And also I mean he's not one to talk about regime change
17:38I'm sure that's the last thing he wants as well
17:40He said we don't want regime change from the skies or from Manchester apparently
17:46I think I don't know I've got a feeling he might have actually come out of this looking better than
17:50if he'd gone in gung-ho
17:51But he did you've got to remember he's got an incredibly low bar on what people think of him
17:55He also didn't want to miss out though on the war-related social media hype last night. He posted this
18:00uninspiring clip
18:06Our number one priority is protecting our people
18:09And that's why long before the US and Israeli action last week came
18:14We had already deployed additional military capabilities
18:17To defend our interests
18:25Do you know what though it is cooler when you remember that that's West Streeting on guitar
18:31I reckon Keir Starmer's voice could underwhelm any song
18:38Also you don't want people thinking of Dark Straits
18:41But it's like that's a banger that song
18:43He could he could be on like free for desire
18:46And it would be shit
18:47And he'd spoken the lyrics of it
18:50That ain't working that's the way you do it
18:54Money for nothing and your cheque's for free
18:56Oh my god
18:57It's like I've got an echo between you two
19:00It's such a shame that Hilsey's finally nailed his Keir Starmer impression just as he's about to leave
19:05Look that clip wasn't enough to win over Donald Trump
19:07No way
19:09Criticised Starmer this week and said he's no Winston Churchill
19:12Which is weird because Winston Churchill stood his ground against an authoritarian with stupid hair
19:16Who tried to change the world order
19:17Trump went on to criticise the UK's wind farms
19:20The UK's immigration policy
19:22He said quote
19:23London is a very different place
19:24A terrible mayor and terrible people
19:27But it's a very different place
19:29What does he mean by different?
19:31Do you know what I mean?
19:33That sounds a lot like racism
19:34And as an Australian I know racism
19:38That is the weirdest brag I've ever heard
19:42In fact the more Donald Trump ran down London this week the more defensive I got
19:47And we talked about this during the week
19:49So more defensive than these guys
19:51You're worried about your visa though
20:01I did though
20:03Like he kept talking down London and I got
20:05You know I've been living here for nearly 20 years
20:07This place feels like my home
20:08I think I've lived in London more than I've lived in any other city in my life
20:11I got really really defensive
20:12So don't tell us
20:12Tell the officers
20:17So look I made a little video message for Donald Trump
20:19To show him just how great London can be
20:23G'day I'm Adam Hills
20:24You know Donald Trump says London is a terrible place
20:27Full of terrible people
20:28But since moving here
20:29I've found Londoners to be some of the friendliest people on the planet
20:32Fuck off mate
20:35There's so much to celebrate
20:37From problematic tourist attractions
20:39To eating out
20:41London's the home of international cuisine
20:43With every dish you can imagine right on your doorstep
20:46Oh cheers
20:47That's 20 quid mate
20:4820 pounds
20:50For a glorified cheese toastie
20:53Listen you Aussie
20:54That's a great way of getting around London
20:56They'll take you literally anywhere you need to go
20:59Oh hey
21:01G'day mate
21:02Just going to Ballum please
21:03Ballum?
21:03Sorry mate
21:04Don't go south of the river
21:13London's full of famous faces
21:15Who knows
21:16You might even end up having a coffee
21:17With my celebrity mate
21:18Self esteem
21:23Hey selfie
21:23It's Adam
21:24Yeah just wondering where you are
21:25Look I've told you
21:26I don't want to meet for a coffee
21:28I also don't know who you are
21:31I mean it's a great city
21:33For people watching
21:36Cheers
21:37Thanks
21:3920 pounds
21:41Donald Trump might have a problem with green energy
21:43But in London
21:44Lime bikes are everywhere
21:48So there you have it
21:49London
21:50A safe place for everyone
21:54Even kids feel safe being out and about
22:00So listen up Donald Trump
22:01Sure London might be a smelly
22:03Grimy
22:04Rainy
22:04Overpriced shithole
22:05But it's our
22:06Smelly
22:07Grimy
22:07Rainy
22:07Overpriced shithole
22:08We love it
22:10Maybe it's because I'm Australian
22:13That I love London
22:16Tap
22:18Oh
22:19It's on my shoes
22:26What's on the
22:27Oh man
22:29Fucking city
22:40All right
22:41Let's bring out tonight's guests
22:43An Englishman
22:44An Irishman
22:45And a politician
22:45Walked into a studio
22:46Please welcome
22:47Comedians
22:47Jamali Maddox
22:48And Vittorio Angeloni
22:49And former cabinet minister
22:51Penny Mordent
23:11So my first question to you I was told you were injured
23:13I have actually broken my leg
23:16Not my leg my foot
23:17My foot
23:18Okay but you've you've taken the cast off for the show
23:21I have yeah
23:21Is that safe
23:23Well it was it was more than I knew what your producers had planned later on in the show
23:27Right
23:28I'm going to sit that bit out
23:29So
23:30Okay but you're all right
23:31I'm all right
23:32Okay cool
23:33Okay good
23:33I like the fact that you didn't want to come here and moan about your leg
23:40So let's talk about what's going on this week
23:42I'm going to get to you in a safe
23:43Penny but Vittorio
23:45You know everything that's gone on in the Middle East this week
23:47How do you feel about it all
23:48Yeah slow news week to be making my debut on the show
23:53I mean look I think we can all agree it's been grim
23:55Nobody's enjoyed seeing the news this week
23:58Apart from Prince Andrew
23:59He's probably buzzing
24:07Yeah just to be out of the news cycle for a day
24:13But it's important to remember there's a reason for the for the war and for the attack
24:16You know like the media has said like
24:18It's to remove a misogynist dictator
24:22You know and and help support the rights of Iranian women
24:25And Trump and Netanyahu have done that in the only way they know how
24:29Bombing a girls primary school
24:37Allegedly
24:41Do you have to say that or do I have to say that
24:43Either way it's been said
24:45Jamali
24:47Jamali
24:48Yeah I'm just looking I'm eyeing up the Ayatollah job
24:53I'm laughing but I'm giving you a good crack
24:55You know because I know like Israel saying
24:58We're going to kill the next one
24:59They won't kill me I'm too cheeky
25:03I'm looking at this scam
25:08All right
25:09And so Penny look
25:10I would wait for that
25:11I would wait for that
25:12I think my
25:13Look it's hard to pick
25:14But I think my favourite moment of the war so far
25:16Yep
25:17Was when
25:21The IDF posted one of these mad TikTok compilations and in it they were celebrating the fact that
25:25They'd destroyed an Iranian military helicopter
25:28But it turns out it was just a painting of the helicopter on tarmac
25:33Like who's in charge of the IDF
25:35Wile E. Coyote
25:37The women in the military have given a statement
25:39They came out and said
25:40Meep meep
25:43So Penny before we ask your opinions
25:45We had a segment made up
25:47In which we've contacted you before
25:49And got your opinions on certain stuff
25:50So we're going to run with it
25:51It's a little segment we like to call
25:55A mordant for your thoughts
25:57So
25:59What do you
26:00What do you make of everything that's gone on this
26:02Well look I think that
26:02That you were very kind to the White House
26:05About the social media that you showed
26:07There is worse
26:08Yes
26:08Out there
26:10I think the president
26:11If he just said to his allies
26:14I'm sorry we've come to the conclusion
26:16We can't stop this nation
26:18Getting the bomb
26:19Without taking out the leadership of the regime
26:22And denuding their capabilities
26:25We don't need your support to do it
26:27But we'll be there for you
26:28If you have to take defensive action as a consequence
26:31And in the process we will stop a lot of terrorism
26:36Elicit oil flows
26:37Organise crime
26:38And give the Iranian people a chance at a brighter future
26:40It would have gone down better
26:42But that sounds like a mature thing to say
26:45From a groaner
26:47There is I think a strategy behind this
26:50But you can be forgiven for not knowing what that is
26:53Oh you think there is a strategy behind this
26:55I do
26:56And I think there's implications for China and Russia in this as well
27:00But the most important thing
27:01That there have been people that have war gamed this
27:04And see where this goes
27:05And the critical thing is
27:07Now he's started this
27:08He's got to end it
27:10Because the worst outcome for this
27:12I'm sorry this is a light entertainment show
27:14No no no go on
27:14This is important stuff
27:15Is if you leave part of the regime in place
27:18That's less experienced
27:20More fanatical
27:21At a time when the population is rising up against it
27:25It will be very bad indeed
27:26So basically
27:27There was an episode where Hilsey was away
27:29And we were left in charge
27:30It was very similar
27:32So what you're saying is
27:33This will all be fine
27:34As long as Donald Trump is focused
27:36And doesn't get bored easily
27:37He started on this course
27:38And he has to
27:40He has to
27:41Have a good outcome
27:42He has to see it
27:43At least he famously sticks to one task
27:46And look you
27:46Now you famously carried a ceremonial sword
27:48At King Charles' coronation
27:50Which we want to show
27:51Because Alex has a very quick question
27:52Yeah
27:53Like obviously that was a big role
27:54Did you get to go to the evening do?
27:57I was wondering what it was like
27:59No afterwards
28:00I drove home
28:02And fed the cat
28:04What?
28:05You knew how to solve
28:06You didn't even get to go to
28:07No
28:07Well I knew there were a lot of people
28:08In the same boat
28:09So I actually bust a load of booze
28:12Into the House of Commons
28:12And anyone who was part of the ceremony
28:15That didn't get to go somewhere nice
28:17I stood them a drink
28:18And then I went home
28:19And fed the cat
28:20And we all paid for it
28:30I paid for it
28:31I paid for it
28:32One thing that people might not know about you
28:34Is that we have mentioned on the show though
28:36You used to be a magician's assistant
28:37I did
28:38Such a good fact
28:38Now we talked about this during the week
28:40And Josh got very excited
28:41Because Josh knows
28:42Three magic tricks
28:44And look
28:45Since the news has been very gloom and doom
28:47I haven't done them since I was a kid
28:48I should say that
28:49Since the news has been very gloom and doom this week
28:51We thought maybe we could end this part
28:53With a little bit of magic
28:55Why is Alex not doing the magic trick
28:58Sleight of hand type stuff
29:09I was genuinely so tempted to look really sad
29:12But I love that
29:16All right
29:17Let's
29:18Let's do it
29:35Paul Daniels is back on TV
29:37Let's have it
29:38Right
29:39I'd like to welcome up
29:40My wonderful assistant
29:42The magical mordant
29:47Straighten those up
29:48Now
29:50Penny we're going to need a volunteer
29:52Can we have some volunteers
29:56This guy
29:57Yes
29:58Yes
30:00Okay
30:00I've got three magic tricks
30:02There we go
30:03Penny
30:04Can I have my cards please
30:06It's weird how much that hat suits you as well
30:09Thank you very much
30:10Like a Victorian pimp
30:11Okay
30:11This is my first magic trick
30:13It's a normal pack of cards
30:15You know when kids dress as magical Mickey at Disney
30:19Normal pack of cards
30:20Take the top two cards
30:21How long have you got
30:22Here we go
30:23Show them to the audience
30:25It looks like you got into Hogwarts through clearing
30:33There we go
30:34Put them back in the pack
30:35Anywhere you want
30:36Remember your cards
30:37Yep
30:37I'll remember them
30:38Okay
30:39Ready
30:39I'll straighten the pack
30:41There they are
30:44Remember my cards
30:45There you go
30:47Put that in Hogwarts
30:50There you go
30:52Next
30:52Penny could have two matchsticks
30:54This one I don't think
30:55Is going to transfer to television
30:56As well as it did to the playground
30:59There we go
31:00Thank you Penny
31:01Can you check the normal matchsticks
31:02Yes
31:02Oh there we go
31:04She wouldn't lie
31:04Not allowed to use normal on this show
31:07Right I'm going to make these jump
31:09Can you concentrate
31:11Think positive jump thoughts
31:12Okay you ready
31:14Whoa
31:17Whoa
31:17Whoa
31:22Third trick now
31:23Third trick
31:24This is incredible
31:25Do not try this at home
31:26This is a bit much for some people
31:29You alright with gory Penny
31:31Okay
31:31Right
31:32Five
31:32Well let's not go through that Alex
31:34Now
31:35That's my thumb
31:36You ready
31:38Whoa
31:40Whoa
31:44Pretty good
31:45Pretty good
31:46Well I'll touch it back on
31:47There it is
31:48Now let's try it with a bigger
31:50Bigger thing
31:50Give me your leg
31:51Not that one
31:52Not that one
31:54Okay
31:55Are you ready
31:56Whoa
31:58Oh
31:58Oh
31:58Oh
31:59Oh
32:00Oh
32:03There you go
32:03Can I have that
32:07Honey
32:08Would you like to
32:09Read us into the break
32:11Happy tea
32:12Just don't ask me to make you tea
32:15We'll have more last leg for you
32:16After the break
32:17When we kick off
32:18With the Winter Paralympics
32:20See you soon
32:39Welcome back to The Last Leg, we've joined by Penny Morden, Vittorio Angelone and Jamali Maddox.
32:45Alex has got snowy's mouth.
32:47The Winter Paralympics turns 50 this week, which means it's about to leave its wife and start doing triathlons.
32:54Wheelchair curling has already started, GB beat the USA despite America posting this edgy hype clip of rapper Snoop Dogg
33:01as the ultimate Paralympic hype man.
33:06Coach Snoop here, and you already know what time it is.
33:09You are the athletes who redefine strong, and your greatness is beyond comparison.
33:15And it's not just me, all of America is proud of each and every last one.
33:19All around the world, your family and friends, we love you from the D-O-double-G, and everybody is
33:25cheering you on.
33:26Tonight is the official start of your games, so let's do this.
33:31USA, USA, USA, go.
33:33USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA,
33:53USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA,
33:55USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA,
33:55USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA,
33:55USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA,
33:56USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA,
34:01sports as well you can watch the events over the next week on channel 4 the opening ceremony took
34:08place earlier look it was kind of weird because a whole bunch of countries pulled out because
34:13russia was allowed to compete under their own flag which meant you had moments like this weird
34:19kind of bit where chechia came in but chechia didn't come in chechia are the first nation
34:27boycotting so the flag and the name of the nation carried by two volunteers so they're protesting
34:34these countries these eight countries who aren't sending athletes to the ceremony by not showing up
34:39rather than making a protest on the stage itself oh i just thought they were really really really
34:46short statue we're going to have our own alternative opening ceremony at the end of tonight's show
34:52uh to kind of make up for that we want to give it a bit of voom a bit of
34:56voom a bit of voom
34:56bit of voom bit of voom uh we've we've also uh called in gb's equivalent to snoop dog oh don't
35:03want to give too much away but check that out at the end of the show we also have a
35:06winter
35:06paralympian in the audience tonight she's won two silvers and two bronze medals in visually impaired
35:10skiing please welcome millie knight
35:31you know what millie the audience have applauded for so long we don't have time to interview you
35:36so lovely to have you here what was the winter paralympics experiences like for you
35:40the paralympics is unreal it's it's like nothing else it's a range of every emotion you could
35:47possibly think of um you know the the pressures the excitement the nerves everything but you know
35:54to be honest the real medals are it's about the pin collections um yes you know how many pins can
36:00you
36:00collect from different countries that that's that's really what it's about and look obviously getting
36:04along with other countries is a big thing but you were pipped for gold by someone by the name of
36:09henrietta farkasova name we loved because she farked us over do you have a grudge with farkasova
36:22absolutely not no she she's an absolutely amazing athlete uh she's far more experienced than me um
36:29so very very well deserved and is it true the reason you're not competing is because
36:34you've taken up karate and you're now like a world champion in karate uh yeah yeah yeah that's amazing
36:50so look out farkasova she's coming for you
36:53really so lovely to have you here uh good luck with the karate um look like i said paralympics running
36:59over the next uh couple of weeks i'm gonna run you through some of the highlights of what to look
37:04out for at the games tomorrow uh but i'm gonna do it uh as we did in paris i'm gonna
37:08do it on a snowboard
37:25i'm gonna be honest these aren't really the shoes to be doing this on this is the most australian
37:32you've ever looked all right let's give this a crack okay so the visually impaired skiing gets
37:37underway tomorrow morning oh no with fred warburton and guides james hannon while neil simpson and his
37:43brother andrew make a start to their program in the women's downhill uh no in the women's downhill
37:47benefits patrick starts a campaign with guide katie guest the para snowboarding also kicks off
37:52tomorrow with james barnes miller and ollie hilton hoping to qualify as well as debbie shiv scott
37:56mina also competes on day one of the para play i thought event while gb are in action in the
38:01wheelchair curling i got to the end as we find out how peppa pig is increasing disability awareness
38:09sing it a little bit
38:25welcome back to last leg we're joined by penny morden vittorio angeloni and jamali maddox
38:30in disability news this week um peppa pig's younger brother george uh will be diagnosed as moderately
38:36deaf and is going to be fitted with a hearing aid in the story line to air on monday oh
38:39how do we
38:40feel about that well i mean i think it's just it's lovely thing for pep like the show to have
38:45done
38:45considering they've kind of promoted peppa pig all this time she's essentially she's an arsehole
38:51this whole time she's always made it about her she's always been a dick to george but it is
38:55is good that they're doing it i think it's good for kids to see that yeah like you know there's
38:59like
38:59little children like six or seven that that will see that and they'll see that you know someone with
39:03a hearing impairment and it's kind of completely desensitizes them to it like when you compare it
39:08to like when i was at school like when i was six like my classmates they used to see me
39:14get taken
39:15out for a nap in the middle of the day and i always thought everyone was going for a sleep
39:19and then i
39:19found out about five years ago that it was just me and the other disabled kid in the school because
39:25the school believes some outdated research that disabled people needed more sleep
39:30wow it's wild which is insane because there was whoa whoa whoa you have a nap every day at work
39:36yeah yeah you're still pushing it that is wild thoughts on peppa pig yeah i'm with him i think
39:43she's smug she's not cheeky is she yeah but always on an adventure
39:51uh daddy pig did teach me you can drive your trotters so
39:55but uh george's audiologist is going to be voiced by jody ounsley who's been on this show
40:01the deaf gladiator and she was saying the same thing you know like it's brilliant for deaf children
40:06or hearing impaired children to be able to watch that and see themselves represented i do just think
40:10it it's a difficult show to do that because what do you say as a deaf or the parent of
40:15a deaf child
40:15like that's you you're a pig well and i know disability representation is a big thing for you
40:22penny because you are an ambassador for something called uh the music man project
40:26who we had on the show last year uh a whole bunch of people with learning disabilities singing a choir
40:33it's beautiful they're they're an amazing organization and they've actually set up um an alliance for
40:39uh disabled musicians um it was always their dream they they used to be a david amos's charity the mp
40:44that was murdered um and when he was killed i stepped in and helped them but it was always his
40:50dream and theirs to play broadway and we are taking them to broadway this autumn they're going to play
40:55a show on broadway but what we're hoping is that the day after we're going to take them to the
41:00un
41:01and uh we're going to have the general assembly room there which will be the most useful thing
41:05that room has been used for for a very long time um and we're going to put it this way
41:08the scenes
41:09you've seen in parliament this week with angela rippon will be nothing compared to what we're
41:14going to do at the un but there's an important message behind it which is that we've got to
41:19provide educational opportunities for for people to get involved in the arts penny's always been such
41:24a supporter of disabled people you're like you're very supportive of like the prosthetics industry you
41:29were at an art you were promoting on twitter an arms fair in saudi arabia recently
41:33i would say that investing in our defense
41:50i in my defense in this particular way i'm on your side i don't think you are sweetheart
41:57i genuinely have to get to the mystery guest
42:01just one last thing just as a positive thing i think it's brilliant warmongering has always been
42:06a male-dominated industry and you've really smashed the glass ceiling i'm very proud well i would
42:14i'd like to take the i'd like to take the opportunity to introduce you to some other women
42:18that put their lives on the line to defend people like you being able to to do what you want
42:24to do
42:24in your life and make jokes about the government and all sorts of things and enjoy the freedoms that
42:28we do in this country so tonight's mystery guest
42:35it's a top sailor guy from belfast
42:37we're going to bring other mystery guests penny vittorio and jamali
42:42have to try and work out why they are in the news can we have the mystery guest please
42:49mystery guest
42:57this is laura i hope she hasn't been listening backstage
43:02this is laura she has been in the news this week described in the news as a genius
43:07but why was she in the news alex can we have the dramatic lighting change please
43:14we needed that a few minutes ago
43:17what's she in the news because she avoided paying for luggage on a flight because she sent clothes to
43:22herself in the post was it because she was bought and wrapped christmas presents for every member of
43:27her family all the way until 2056 or is it because she conducted surgery on a patient in gibraltar
43:33while still in still in the uk herself uh mystery guest do you know what have a think about it
43:40over
43:40the break we are so short for time uh and possibly a fight's going to break out um we'll be
43:47back in a
43:47sec we'll reveal the mystery guest we'll stage our own alternative winter paralympics opening ceremony
43:50we'll see you in a little bit
44:06welcome back to last leg we're joined by kenny morden vittoria angelone and uh jamali maddox now
44:12before the break we challenged our guest to work out how this person was connected to the news can we
44:15have the options again please so was laura in the news because she avoided paying for
44:20luggage on a flight by sending clothes to herself in the post was it because she had bought and wrapped
44:25her christmas presents for every member of her family all the way to 2056 or is it because she
44:30conducted surgery on a patient in gibraltar while still in the uk herself which one which one do you
44:36think i'm thinking with it's one or two i'm in uh one or three i'm in deep admiration i think
44:42the
44:42surgery i think you don't seem cheap enough to do the luggage run and 2056 you don't seem mad enough
44:50to do christmas presents for 2056 jamali i'll say number three i think one i think one i think that's
44:57a smart thing all right so what is the correct answer then i posted my luggage to myself instead of
45:04paying
45:04luggage fees
45:09how much did you say um well it would have cost me 30 pounds to take a bag on as
45:17hand luggage with me
45:18and i spent two pounds 59 posting it to my destination instead and have you have you other
45:25money-making schemes that have worked in the past um well i've sold money before what sold money i've
45:31sold money for more than what it's worth like what so you know like a 50p sometimes you get special
45:3750ps
45:37yeah some of them are really common and you can sell 150p for like nine pound i've done that many
45:43times
45:43i mean now i used to collect them you're like martin lewis
45:49laura thanks so much for being on the show
46:12we'll be back next week with guests richard aiwati and michelle wolf but right now it's time to
46:19unveil our alternative version of the winter paralympics opening ceremony take it away vittorio
46:32welcome to the last legs winter paralympic opening ceremony the olympics had snoop dog but we've gone
46:40one better put your hands together for our own legendary rap goddess introducing honey g
46:56you should know you should know that uh honey g's not having anything today
47:02as we stand here totally crossed out we commence to make ya the last leg will make ya
47:08jump jump gb will make ya these skis will make ya don't try to compare us to another bad little
47:16fat
47:16on the mat and i'm back giving you something that you've never had i'll make you rock rock wriggle and
47:20shake you up because i'll be kicking the flavors that make you want to jump how high real high
47:25because i'm just a fly a young lovable huggable type of oh my because everything is to the back
47:29with a little sack because inside out it's wicked wicked wicked wack
47:33jump jump jump honey g you'll make ya the last leg will make ya gb you'll make ya
47:53thanks for watching the last leg my name's adam hill see you next week for the next leg
48:06so
48:10you
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