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00:04Doobie, doobie.
00:06The Bulls' brothers!
00:11Charlotte, do it for Carolina!
00:14Yeah!
00:15For Carolina!
00:16Yeah, man.
00:22Thank y'all for pulling up for the ball, brothers, man.
00:24Thank y'all, Charlotte.
00:25All the way to the Raptors, man, in the pit.
00:28Cheers and clapping, man.
00:29Yeah!
00:30Who ain't clapping?
00:31Her in the green right here, the olive, right here.
00:34She getting the soft claps.
00:35With the olive green?
00:36You got the blazer on over the olive green.
00:37Clap with the blazer in.
00:38Clap right now.
00:39The soft claps, man.
00:39Nobody else clap.
00:40Clap right now, man.
00:41By yourself.
00:42Clap right now.
00:43Put the drink down.
00:44No, no, no, palm to palm.
00:45Hand me to him.
00:46Put the drink down and clap.
00:49Swig it back and clap.
00:51Swig it back.
00:52If you guys have never been to a Ball Brothers show,
00:55it's completely freestyled.
00:56Everything we talk about for the most part was either on our mind.
00:58Shout out to you.
00:59You see how that feels?
01:00You see?
01:01That's love.
01:02That's excitement right there.
01:03Oh, now she's still holding that little bit of drink.
01:05Ain't nothing but a little swallow, man.
01:07She gonna hold that drink the rest of the night.
01:08Mostly ice.
01:09Put it on the floor.
01:10Anyway.
01:12Clap.
01:13Everything is freestyle.
01:14Y'all did the QR codes earlier today.
01:16Everything you talked about, you put it and submitted.
01:18That's us on there.
01:19So if you see me with my phone, I'm looking at the things that y'all suggested.
01:22All right?
01:23Somebody just put church welcome songs.
01:27Oh.
01:29I hate that pressure, man.
01:31That's why I don't go to new churches, man.
01:32Because I always want to put the new people on blast.
01:35Who knew in here?
01:38If you knew, stand up.
01:42Then you try to hide and the other people be like, you and me.
01:46He knew, pastor.
01:48Then he didn't stand up.
01:52They're gonna prop you up.
01:54Then they start singing to you.
01:57We welcome you.
02:02We welcome you.
02:07We welcome you.
02:10Go to that lady who wasn't clapping, Tone.
02:12We welcome you.
02:13Go to her.
02:15Make her clap, Tone.
02:17She ain't putting the drink.
02:18We welcome you.
02:20Yeah, Tone.
02:21Go slow, Tone.
02:22We welcome you.
02:25We welcome you.
02:27Get up in her grill, Tone.
02:30We welcome you.
02:35We welcome you.
02:36Why they doing this to us, man?
02:38No, man.
02:39Leave me alone.
02:40Just let us be quiet at the new church and hush.
02:43It's like the happy birthday song, man.
02:45There's nothing for me to do when y'all sing it.
02:48Oh, I hate that, man.
02:49Man, and the black happy birthday song is long.
02:52Don't sing to me on my birthday.
02:54Happy birthday to you.
02:57No, blacks.
02:58No.
02:58Don't clap, man.
02:59Don't do this.
03:00I hate when we go to the second verse.
03:03I hate when we go to the second verse.
03:04Happy birthday.
03:11Happy birthday.
03:13Happy birthday.
03:13All right, man.
03:13I'm right.
03:15We'll be for an hour.
03:16No, blacks.
03:17No.
03:18Oh, oh, this is a good one.
03:19Jalen Brown's hairline.
03:20I don't know if y'all seen this.
03:22If you don't know, Jalen Brown is an NBA athlete, plays for the Celtics.
03:26Yes.
03:26Last season, if I'm not mistaken, he had braids.
03:29Yeah.
03:29He had braids last season.
03:30But did he, though?
03:31I don't know now.
03:32I don't know what's real now.
03:34If y'all don't know, he cut his hair off, right?
03:36I thought he had the paint, the Beijing, which is anti-balb.
03:40I don't believe in that.
03:42And he was driving past people, and he was getting his head on their jersey, and he was
03:47leaving the black hair dye on the jersey.
03:50Yeah.
03:50On the crossover.
03:51I feel like we're all believing the lie.
03:54We know when you paint it in, you know, it'd be darker than the-
03:57It'd be extra dark.
03:58It'd be darker than the road.
03:59Yeah.
04:00But we don't say nothing.
04:02Brother, I know you're going through a lot.
04:03I ain't going to say nothing.
04:04Just be bald, man.
04:06And just join us, man.
04:07Ball is life.
04:09Join us.
04:10Look at him, man.
04:11He's bald.
04:11We can put our bald heads together.
04:14We out here flourishing.
04:16Uh, somebody put Ray J in here.
04:20First of all, Ray J is my brother.
04:25Support.
04:25He's my boy.
04:27Support.
04:27He supported me in my time of need.
04:30I was crying on a podcast for the sixth time this year.
04:33Yo, you be folding up in these interviews.
04:35I be crying.
04:36You fold up every time, man.
04:38My brother!
04:39Hey, you be crying.
04:40Every time.
04:41My brother!
04:42Even before you was crying.
04:44I be crying, man.
04:45Hey, man.
04:45Hold it together.
04:45I'm a crying nigga, man.
04:47Be tough in these interviews.
04:48I be crying about this.
04:49My wife.
04:51My family.
04:52Let me ask you this.
04:53Yeah.
04:54You ever cried during sex?
04:56I almost did.
04:59One time I was like, man, this is just too good.
05:02God is amazing.
05:03I literally thought, God is amazing.
05:06I really was like, man, you did this for me.
05:10Oh, my God.
05:12Love, this feels so good.
05:14You really looked out for me, man.
05:16Shout out to you.
05:18Shout out to you, man.
05:21Pure pleasure.
05:24All right, come on up, Carmen Hanna.
05:26Come on up, Carmen Hanna.
05:28All right, Carmen.
05:29Here we go.
05:29What's an unwritten black commandment you're completely tired of following?
05:34Real quick question.
05:35Hold on a second before we go there.
05:38Hold on a second.
05:39When you walked out, I looked down and I said...
05:43Hold on a second.
05:46Uh...
05:46Hmm.
05:48All right.
05:49Questions were required.
05:51Yeah.
05:51All the questions were required.
05:52All right.
05:53Is there any blacking?
05:54No.
05:55Y'all show some love for Carmen Hanna, y'all.
05:58Yeah, come on.
05:59Let's just come on.
06:00Yeah, just come on over here, Carmen.
06:01Don't even worry about it.
06:02Yeah, I don't even want to do that to you in front of Charlotte.
06:04Yeah, let's just say, man, let's just...
06:06We don't even want to do her like that.
06:08I don't...
06:08There's a lot of blacks in here.
06:10We got Bojangles, residual juice.
06:12We...
06:12We was like, what?
06:13What?
06:14What?
06:14What's the unwritten?
06:15You don't want this, Carmen.
06:16You don't want this.
06:17They would have turned on Carmen.
06:18They would have been like, it didn't matter what she said.
06:20It didn't matter.
06:21Mm-hmm.
06:23I want to know what she said.
06:24She said...
06:25I had the answer.
06:26She said, lotioning after every shower, she don't do that.
06:29I don't know how she don't do that.
06:31We got to lotion after everything.
06:32You don't lotion after every shower, you ashy nigga.
06:35Wow.
06:37Wow.
06:38Did you lotion them legs today?
06:41My jeans are kind of tight.
06:43You can't even get the pants up because the crust is holding it in place.
06:46They're ashy over there.
06:47Ooh, that leg is white.
06:48Yeah, it's ashy.
06:49That leg is white as hell.
06:51Look at that, man.
06:55I don't lotion my legs because you're not going to see them.
06:59See, y'all are all sheep.
07:00You've let big moisture convince you that you got lotion just wants you to buy it.
07:05That's all big moisture wants.
07:07Just keep on buying me, buying me.
07:08You putting lotion on and going to bed for what?
07:10Our ancestors did not put lotion on.
07:12I honor my ancestors.
07:15They didn't have shea butter and lotion.
07:17They was just getting up and living life in Mother Africa.
07:20Listen, y'all got to understand.
07:21You got to overstand.
07:22You want to put that whiteness on your black skin to start the day?
07:27You want to cover yourself with white?
07:31Kings and queens, you got to understand me, brother.
07:35You got to overstand me.
07:38I don't cover myself with no white to start my day.
07:40You're on your own, man.
07:41My blackness is good enough.
07:44Now, you see how whiteness try to colonize my skin and try to get into the crevices.
07:48Nah, man.
07:49Nah, but for real, I just don't have time.
07:51You do got time.
07:52I'm not finna sit down and then my feet are slidey.
07:54It's a whole thing, man.
07:56Put lotion up.
07:57Everybody in here put lotion on their knees today.
08:00Yes.
08:02Yes.
08:03Ma'am, you put lotion on your knees.
08:05You did?
08:07Damn.
08:07One thing black women going to do, they going to moisturize.
08:10Yeah, they going to be greasy McGee's.
08:12They going to moisturize on they deathbed.
08:14I ain't dying, Ashley.
08:19Last thing before they go.
08:21Before the Lord take me home.
08:23Hold on, Lord.
08:25Hold on, Lord.
08:26Let me just get.
08:27Hold on one second, Lord.
08:28I'm coming to you.
08:30I'm coming to you right.
08:33Put that chapstick on my lips, baby.
08:36Come on up, Yari.
08:38Have a seat.
08:39Get the Doc Martins on.
08:40I see what you're doing.
08:41Did you lotion your whole body today?
08:42Absolutely.
08:43Yes, of course you did.
08:44Absolutely.
08:44Look at the shoulders.
08:45Yeah, shoulders.
08:46Moisturize.
08:46All right, Yari.
08:47What's something that gets on your last nerves and you can't even help how you react in the moment?
08:51Oh.
08:52Just saying, baby, I am so sorry.
08:54We're about to start an argument.
08:56I'm type A.
08:57He's very type B.
08:58He's very laid back, but I'm always on time.
09:01Like, I like to be on time.
09:02Oh, so y'all be clashing on the personality tip.
09:05Like, even his mama and his sister would look at him, are you getting dressed again?
09:08Again?
09:09Where are you looking?
09:10Who is the culprit?
09:11Where are you at?
09:13Raise your hand.
09:15Dark skin brother?
09:18Cardigan?
09:18Oh, there you go.
09:19Right there.
09:19Oh, I see him.
09:20He was type B with the hand raised.
09:22He was like, I don't even want to raise my hand quickly, because y'all...
09:25I guess, y'all.
09:26So did he be making y'all late?
09:28Yeah.
09:28Sometimes, but he goes by his own pace.
09:30But me, I'm Latin, so we're like, we have to be on time.
09:34Okay.
09:35Is that a Latin thing?
09:37That's a...
09:37My mama instilled that in us.
09:40You black?
09:40You Afro-Latina?
09:41I am Afro-Latina.
09:42Oh, cool.
09:42Shout out to y'all.
09:42La raza.
09:45La raza?
09:46Yeah, that means...
09:48Oh, that's what it means?
09:49The rules.
09:49I thought the rules was race.
09:51No, she said race.
09:52Oh, race.
09:53Oh, my bad, my bad.
09:54Tony's a quarter white.
09:55He don't have the same stuff we have.
09:57I'm one-eighth Mexican.
09:58Oh, that counts.
09:59Oh, you really?
10:00I really am.
10:00Oh, snap.
10:01Yeah, I'm here with y'all.
10:02El Paso.
10:04I don't speak it because my family didn't teach me, but you know what I'm saying?
10:07You know how generations get lost.
10:09Tony type B all day.
10:10I'm type B.
10:11I realized that today.
10:14Like, I be late.
10:15I be chilling.
10:17Like, I don't...
10:17You're on the court.
10:18Pretty much, yeah.
10:19Yeah, no, we can't.
10:20Watch out then, man.
10:21Look out.
10:22I can't do that.
10:23Type A.
10:24Does that cause you problems in your relationships?
10:25With being late?
10:27Yeah.
10:27Nah.
10:28It don't.
10:30It don't.
10:31Do you be with type A?
10:32I be slinging that dick.
10:33Oh, my God.
10:35Oh, my God.
10:38Oh, my God.
10:38Oh, my God.
10:39It always offsets.
10:40Oh, my God.
10:41Oh, my God.
10:44Wow.
10:46That was a lot, Tony.
10:48That was aggressive.
10:50They wasn't believing me, so I'm like...
10:51She be like, Tony, you're late again, pal.
10:54You know what?
10:55You know what?
10:56You're right on time.
10:58You're right on time.
11:00My bad.
11:01You know, time just got away from it, yeah.
11:03All right, come on now.
11:05K. Dollar Sign.
11:06K. Dollar Sign.
11:08Got the boots going.
11:09I see what you're doing.
11:10Moisturized.
11:11Yeah, well, she got exposed.
11:13She's exposed.
11:13You got to be exposed and moisturized.
11:15No, watch out, man.
11:16All right, K. Dollar Sign.
11:18Where you get the name from?
11:21Ty Dollar Sign.
11:24She'd just be like, I'm gonna use that, but my name Kayla.
11:27What's your first name?
11:29Nicole.
11:30Nicole?
11:31Where's the K?
11:33My middle name.
11:34You got a lot going on, man.
11:36Just be who you are.
11:37She all mysterious and shit.
11:38Black women love...
11:39Black mamas in our day, they love the name Nicole.
11:42Everybody, I knew 30 girls with the middle name Nicole.
11:46Nicole was...
11:46You were 90.
11:47Tasha Nicole.
11:48Kayla Nicole.
11:49Who was you born?
11:5096.
11:51Dang.
11:52She was born in 1996?
11:52She younger than Sister Act Two.
11:57Man.
11:5896, Independence Day came out in 1996.
12:01She was like, I can't hold my head up.
12:04That's crazy.
12:06What month?
12:08February.
12:09February.
12:09Okay.
12:10Tupac and Biggie was alive when you were born.
12:11Yes.
12:12Because Tupac died in September.
12:13You don't even know.
12:14Man, watch out.
12:15Tupac died in September, 96.
12:16All right, man, watch out.
12:17That's crazy.
12:18Kate Dollar Sign.
12:19Tell us about the worst roommate you ever had and how it ended.
12:23Okay.
12:25Well, she was the worst because there was just this one night that I was coming back from
12:31a night out and I noticed there were some visitors outside of the door, some male visitors
12:37and we had a shared bathroom.
12:41When I went in the bathroom, there were more male visitors in there and she was there with
12:49just a t-shirt.
12:49Why you keep backing up, girl?
12:51Stand strong, 96.
12:53So, I came home one night and she, the bathroom.
12:55Because you keep backing up.
12:56Now, if you was born in 1983 like me, you'd stand strong.
12:59There was more people and then when I came back, there was more dudes behind the curtain.
13:06Then come to find out.
13:08She started lifting up to the ceiling like.
13:12I just want the people to hear your story.
13:14Okay, you go to the bathroom, you got more male visitors.
13:16Matter of fact, come up here so you got a good light.
13:18Come right here so we can see.
13:18Yeah, there you go.
13:19Yeah, don't be nervous.
13:20We got the stool behind you so you can't back up.
13:21So, I'm like, I'm like, what's going on?
13:24So, I go in her room and there's a lot more male visitors.
13:28How many male visitors?
13:30I'm like at 13 now.
13:32Wait a minute.
13:32I think it was like five or six.
13:33Oh, they were sprinkled throughout.
13:35Okay.
13:35Six male visitors.
13:38Yeah.
13:39So, anyways, long story short, the other roommate had to move out.
13:45I stayed, but.
13:47Nah, you done skipped the biggest part of the story.
13:49Hold on, man.
13:49Long story short.
13:51What you mean, Laura?
13:51There were six male visitors sprinkled throughout.
13:54We had to move out.
13:55Were y'all playing Taboo?
13:56What was happening?
13:58Why?
13:59What was going on?
14:00They weren't for me.
14:01It was just a party, you know?
14:03What kind of party?
14:04It was like a one female and like six male party, so.
14:08Train.
14:10Come on, ride a train.
14:12And ride it.
14:13Come on, ride a train.
14:16And ride it.
14:16You know what?
14:17That was in the movie Space Jam.
14:19Space Jam came out in 1996.
14:24So, let me shorten the story.
14:27You came home from a night out of being Kate Dolla $ign, and your roommate was being sexually fulfilled, and
14:35other male suitors were waiting their turn to worship, to know her biblically, amen?
14:46Yeah.
14:47Yeah.
14:48So, wait a minute.
14:48So, when you got there, did they complete the mission, or did you bust it all up?
14:54The mission was completed later on.
14:57That's not my business, so I was like.
14:59See, this is how much black people don't mind our business.
15:01She like, she gonna get her train ride on here?
15:03I'm out of here.
15:04I ain't finna.
15:05Did you leave the crib, or did you stay there?
15:08I stayed.
15:09Oh.
15:09Oh, you went to your room?
15:11Yeah.
15:12Did you hear it?
15:13Yeah.
15:13Oh.
15:14Oh, snap.
15:16It is your business if you can hear.
15:18She done put you in there.
15:19I'm listening.
15:20Are you?
15:20If I'm the roommate, you best believe I'm listening.
15:27Got the glass and everything.
15:29So, wait, what's y'all next day like?
15:31Are y'all just sitting there over cereal, and you like, you had a busy night.
15:35Cause I would bring it up.
15:37Yeah, for sure.
15:37If you had five people in the back, I can't even go to the bathroom, they waiting like a job
15:40interview.
15:41Oh, you here for her too?
15:42Yeah.
15:43No, no, I live here.
15:44Oh, you live there?
15:44Oh, she doing men and women?
15:46Yeah.
15:46Cool.
15:46Cool.
15:47All right.
15:47Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:48How's the last dude sitting there?
15:50He got a lot of people waiting.
15:51I can't be last in the train.
15:53Yeah.
15:54I got to be the one to set up the engine.
15:56All right, I'm gonna make sure everything's good to go, and you fellas follow through.
15:59I'm gonna go in here and check out the pipes.
16:03Can you imagine your last, and the one dude, number three comes out, he's like, whoo.
16:13All right, y'all, best of luck.
16:15And there's two more people.
16:16Man.
16:16And then you're walking in from a long day of work?
16:18And what if you're long-winded in the pumps in the train?
16:22I like to take my time.
16:24Just be in there, man, he been in there for 45 minutes.
16:27I be like, yeah, baby girl, I'd not like to talk you through it.
16:29You know you arrived late to the train, because you type B.
16:32She said 7.45.
16:33I will be late.
16:34You came here at 7.48, like, don't worry, I'll be slinging dicks shortly.
16:41Type B at the train, man.
16:44You're gonna miss the train.
16:45The train leave.
16:45Totally been in there for 50 minutes, man.
16:48Yo, she sleep, y'all.
16:50Y'all might as well just go on, head back, man.
16:52I done put her to sleep, y'all, my bad.
16:55How long did you stay living with her after the incident?
17:00Um, it was the rest of the semester.
17:02Oh, dang, you were just like, man, this department's cheap, all right?
17:06Did she have any more of these at the crib?
17:08No, I think she learned her lesson.
17:10Did you talk to her at all?
17:11Yeah, we debriefed.
17:14Debriefed?
17:15What did you tell her real quick?
17:16Tell us how the conversation goes,
17:18because I can't imagine what a post-trained conversation is.
17:21I was just asking, like, who they were, where she met them,
17:24and what happened.
17:26Was she forthcoming?
17:27Was she like, I'm shy.
17:29Yeah, she was, she didn't really care, I mean.
17:33Did she just meet those dudes, or she knew every single one of them?
17:35They were friends.
17:37I bet they was friends.
17:38That's wild, man.
17:40All right, Kate Dolla $ign, this is crazy, man.
17:42I'm glad they was friends.
17:43They were not just some dudes at the club.
17:45Thank you, Kate Dolla $ign.
17:47All right, Kate Dolla $ign, you can walk backwards like this, like you was.
17:50All right, come on, Kiana Gordon, come on out.
17:53Hey, how are you?
17:54Coming out here all cool and shit.
17:56Are you ashy under there?
17:57That's why you wear the black stockings?
17:58No, she ain't ashy.
17:58Boom, ashy under there.
18:00You're ashy?
18:00She didn't put lotion on.
18:02Don't be ashamed.
18:03No, be ashamed.
18:03She said, I'm going black stockings, I ain't got to put no lotion on.
18:05Have a seat.
18:05Be ashamed, you can stand here or you can...
18:07Yeah.
18:07You don't like to put lotion on?
18:09Wait, what do you mean you don't like it?
18:10You look moisturized right now.
18:13Yeah, like, but from the neck down, I don't really like putting on the...
18:16So you ashy.
18:17Look at the blacks turning on you as you speak.
18:19They don't even know what you're saying.
18:20Look at him shaking his head like, man, nah, man.
18:23Are you from Charlotte?
18:24I was just curious.
18:25You don't put nothing on there?
18:27Not really.
18:28I don't...
18:30I don't like it.
18:31I don't like the way it feels like...
18:32And then when you go to put clothes on and then it's like sticky.
18:35That's what I be talking about, man.
18:36Nobody wants to say these things because the black community is...
18:39They don't forgive you for these anti-lotion bigotries, man.
18:42I'm going to start me a political group called We Black and Dry, y'all.
18:46You could be my vice president, man.
18:48It's sticky.
18:49It's sticky.
18:50Like, if you...
18:50Now you need time to dry.
18:52After you put the lotion on, before you put your clothes on,
18:54I'm in a hurry.
18:55I got to go.
18:56Where you going?
18:57Listen to the murmurs.
18:57They're like, nah, nah, man.
18:59Nah.
18:59Put the lotion on while you still wet.
19:02Nah, man.
19:02Watch out, man.
19:03You don't have to listen to Tony.
19:04No, it don't.
19:05I do it all the time.
19:06Let's refocus, Kiana.
19:08Oh, I'm not from Charlotte.
19:09You're not from Charlotte?
19:10Where you from?
19:11Cleveland.
19:12Oh, that's why she asked you.
19:13Look at all the people from Charlotte like, yes.
19:16She from the Midwest.
19:17The Queen City would never.
19:19All right, Kiana, what's an unwritten black commandment outside the lotion
19:23that you're completely tired of following?
19:26I do not like when you walk into a room of black people, you have to speak to everybody.
19:35And they, like, wait their turn.
19:36They, like, wait to make sure.
19:39Oh, did she speak?
19:40Oh, did she?
19:40Did she?
19:41Yes.
19:42So you're saying when you walk in the room, everything stops in the room when you walk
19:45in.
19:45Yeah, I was telling these niggas.
19:53That just happened, yes.
19:55We do be like that, though.
19:56Baby, wait.
19:57I hate it.
19:57Baby, like, yo, man, I heard she don't put lotion on.
19:59Oh, word?
20:00That's for sure.
20:02So, wait.
20:02When you go, when I, I'm with you on this, by the way, but you don't go and be like,
20:06hey, everybody, how are y'all?
20:08That's how I try to, like, cover the group.
20:10Because black people want you to, hey, hello, hey, hi, God bless you, God bless you.
20:14I'll be like, what's up, y'all?
20:16Who did the body?
20:19Who did the body?
20:20If you do it that way, just like a general, then, but you still have to, like, make eye contact
20:23with
20:24everybody.
20:24They wait for, like, the eye contact.
20:26This is very true.
20:28This is very true.
20:29So, are you contemplating not doing this anymore?
20:34You know you have to.
20:36But I hate it so much, and so the situation that just happened, I was, I went to my husband's
20:43grandmother's 80th birthday party.
20:45Oh, so these are old blacks.
20:47And you know old blacks ain't going for you.
20:49Old blacks, like, who is this young?
20:51You ain't speak to me.
20:52He looking over the glasses like, who is this young whippersnapper coming in and not
20:56speaking to us?
20:57My first lady, when I lived in Washington, when you didn't speak to her, she'd be like,
21:00did I sleep with you last night?
21:04The first time she said that, I was like, no, ma'am.
21:06Why you out here ignoring me?
21:08I was like, huh?
21:09Did I sleep with you last night?
21:12Man.
21:12Well, then you say good morning, you speak to everybody in the blacks.
21:16The blacks and the blacks.
21:17So you went to your husband's grandma's 80th birthday party, and there was a whole bunch
21:20of old blacks in there.
21:21And you was the rude young girl in the building.
21:23It was a surprise birthday.
21:25So, you know, everybody got there before she did.
21:28And so there were a lot of people already there when me and my husband got there.
21:31So we can hear everybody talking and laughing outside, and we can hear them having a good
21:35time.
21:36They were having a great time.
21:37We walk in, and it all stopped.
21:38Oh, the record scratched.
21:40It got completely quiet.
21:42And I knew it was because they were waiting on me to see if I was going to speak to
21:46everybody.
21:47And you had to do it.
21:49She came in there, she was like, hello.
21:54Maybe they was practicing for the surprise.
21:57Hey, grandma.
21:58Uncle Roy.
21:59Hey, Charlie.
22:00Hey, baby.
22:02Hey.
22:03How you doing?
22:04You got lotion on.
22:05Hey.
22:06Whew.
22:07Your husband be putting lotion on?
22:08T.T.
22:09Man, get off the lotion, man.
22:10I can't.
22:11You brought it back up, man.
22:12That was just...
22:13He does?
22:14Mm-hmm.
22:15So he's with a non-lotion or a woman.
22:18How does that work within the constructs of the relationship?
22:22We are in love, Tony.
22:23Y'all in love?
22:24Mm-hmm.
22:24Y'all be hugging and he trying to put the lotion on.
22:26You're like, come on, give me a hug.
22:28Do you be absorbing his lotion when y'all rub each other at night?
22:31Come on, baby girl.
22:32I love you.
22:33She be getting the residual lotion.
22:37Cause he be moisturized.
22:39I'm with her on this.
22:41I'm never gonna do nothing about it because it's just like a black rule.
22:44Like, it's too deep in our community.
22:45But the thing with her, she looked so moisturized.
22:49Like I never would have imagined her.
22:53Like you, I could be like, all right, yeah.
22:55Man, what?
22:56Her, though?
22:57You don't expect black women not to put lotion on.
22:59I can see her on the shea butter container.
23:01You can change.
23:02You could be our Zoran Mamdani of black people not putting lotion on.
23:06You could be the future of the black party.
23:08She looks like the face of black moisturization.
23:11But she like, nah, I never used this shit.
23:15And she walk over like...
23:19All right, come on out, Stephanie.
23:23You be lotioning up?
23:25Hell yeah.
23:26That's what I'm talking about right there.
23:27All right, Stephanie.
23:28Tell us about the worst roommate you ever had and how it ended.
23:31Okay, so when I was a sophomore in college, my roommate took my identity.
23:36Well, she stole my identity.
23:36Wait, she stole your identity?
23:38Yeah.
23:38Single black female?
23:39Yeah.
23:40Hilarious.
23:40Yeah.
23:41How she stole your identity?
23:42So she started dressing like me.
23:44She did her hair like me.
23:45Oh, I thought you meant she stole your credit cards.
23:49Nineties?
23:50She was original identity theft.
23:52That's crazy.
23:52Okay, tell us again.
23:53She stole your drawers, what'd you say?
23:54So she started dressing like me.
23:56She did her hair like me.
23:57Even my school ID, she would use it and like, take money, you know, so you could go to the
24:01cafeteria and stuff like that.
24:03That's crazy.
24:04And so, then she, I noticed I was dating a guy and I noticed that she was getting a little
24:08too comfy with him.
24:09Oh.
24:10Speak up Stephanie Foster before she comes through your voice.
24:13Okay, yeah.
24:14So, I was dating a guy and she was getting a little close with him, like just a little friendly.
24:19Uh-huh.
24:20And so, we had, me and the guy got in a fight and then we broke up and she slept
24:24with him the night that we broke up.
24:27The night y'all broke up, she slept with him as you or as herself?
24:32I wasn't there, so I don't know.
24:33She was like, man, you done messed up a good thing.
24:36Where's my Stephanie Foster stuff at?
24:39Hey, Charles, let's make up.
24:41Well, Charles, the night of?
24:44The night.
24:44How do you know?
24:45How do you know?
24:46Did he tell you or she told you?
24:47He told me she tried to lie, but then she came out and said, oh, it was a mistake.
24:52It was a mistake.
24:53He was like, I thought it was you.
24:55Yeah.
24:56I didn't know.
24:58Ah.
24:58It was dark in the room.
25:00What happened at the end of that after she smashed your dude and cried?
25:02Like, how did it end?
25:04I beat the brakes off both of them.
25:05Oh, shit.
25:06Hey, Stephanie Foster.
25:07You put hands?
25:09She said, you beat him?
25:10Who'd you beat up first?
25:12Her.
25:12Because she was closer.
25:13Okay.
25:14Because she was my roommate.
25:15Because she was my roommate.
25:16And then I went to his dorm and beat him.
25:19Hold on.
25:19You were licking your knuckles full of blood?
25:21He was like, yeah.
25:22You next.
25:24I may or may not have had a baseball bat.
25:27Stephanie Foster, what the hell's going on?
25:30She stole the identity of a murderer.
25:33She was the good son.
25:34The Louisville slugger?
25:36You hit him with a bat?
25:37Yes.
25:38Yes.
25:39I was young, but yes.
25:40She didn't deny it at all.
25:42Yeah, I did.
25:43Now do it again.
25:44Crack.
25:45Home run on that.
25:46Tonya Harding on the knees.
25:48So you just rang the doorbell with a bat and he opened it.
25:50He's like, you finna play baseball?
25:51Nah, nigga.
25:53Bah!
25:54You gonna sleep with the other me, are ya?
25:56Didn't.
25:57You kicked the door in?
25:58I did.
25:58What the hell's wrong with you, Stephanie?
26:01She was in a blind rage.
26:03I kinda feel her, though.
26:05Yeah, you gotta do it.
26:06This was all the night of.
26:07She committed a crime, but I feel her.
26:09I can see if it was like later on.
26:11Time had passed.
26:12This was the night of.
26:13They ain't even fully broke up yet.
26:14Y'all just had an argument.
26:15No.
26:15What?
26:16You beat her up with a bat, too, or just hands?
26:18No, I don't know what I hit her with.
26:20Whatever was in the room.
26:21Well, you hit her with weapons?
26:22Yeah.
26:23Oh, shit.
26:24Stephanie was bloodthirsty, man.
26:26She turned into John Wick.
26:28You sleeping with my man?
26:31Stephanie Foster, that's the name of the movie.
26:34Stephanie Foster 4, Antebellum.
26:37You could have a whole series.
26:38Stephanie Foster is pissed.
26:40All right, Trevor Welcher, come on down, Trevor Welcher.
26:43All right, Trevor.
26:44What's something that gets on your last nerves,
26:45and you can't help how you react in the moment?
26:48Oh, man.
26:49Funerals, man.
26:50The awkward moments at funerals.
26:53You be cracking up at the funerals?
26:55Yeah.
26:55There be funny stuff at funerals.
26:57I be crying at funerals.
26:58Like, crying, laughing.
26:59Yeah.
27:00This is pretty bad, yeah.
27:02What happened?
27:04So, I grew up in a church, and my friends and I, we're very jovial.
27:08So...
27:08That's a good word.
27:10Jovial.
27:11You don't hear jovial that often.
27:12Man, we jovial, y'all.
27:13He was like, man, we mad silly.
27:14He was like, nah, we jovial.
27:16Yeah, me and my friends is jovial, nigga.
27:19With the nigga on the back end?
27:20Just so I know, y'all don't forget who it is.
27:23We jovial over here.
27:24Ha-ha!
27:25All right, so you and the jovial homies, what was happening when y'all was being jovial?
27:28Trying to be diplomatic, man, but...
27:30Yeah, yeah, for sure.
27:31Okay, Scrabble.
27:32Yo, he got mad words over here, man.
27:34Trying to be diplomatic in the man of the greater Charlotte mental politics area.
27:38So, let me acquiesce, you know?
27:39So, all right.
27:40So, they put me up first when it's time to view the body,
27:43because they know I'm going to kind of look back.
27:45And, uh...
27:46Look back after you've seen the body?
27:48Yeah, I got to, man.
27:49The browning fresh from the body look?
27:51Well, they...
27:52So, you walk to the body, you be like...
28:03They dead, y'all.
28:05They dead.
28:06It sounds bad.
28:08It does, but...
28:09You ain't coming to my funeral, man.
28:10Watch out.
28:11That ain't the time to be jovial, Tom.
28:13Nah, man, watch out.
28:14Well, y'all talked about it earlier, though.
28:16Like, the Jalen Brown hairline.
28:17The guy was bald before he...
28:19Oh, they put the hair on him?
28:20They put hair on him.
28:21Yeah, yeah.
28:21That is funny, though.
28:23Oh, come on, man.
28:24That's funny as hell, though.
28:26Did they give him the shoe polish or the wig piece?
28:28Nah, yeah.
28:29It was the Beijing and all that, man.
28:32Oh, no, man.
28:33I would raise from the dead.
28:34If they put a hairline on me, I'd be like...
28:39No.
28:43This was not my...
28:45I'll put that in my will.
28:46Yeah.
28:46Don't you dare put no hair on me.
28:48I'm bald.
28:49I'd be pissed off.
28:50But do my balls black.
28:51Make sure my bald hair is black.
28:53You could dye those.
28:54I don't want to be in the afterlife with gray balls.
28:55Why would your balls be out at the funeral?
28:57I mean, on the underneath.
28:58And I want to be ashy, too.
29:00Don't put no lotion on my dead knee.
29:01I want to go out how I live.
29:03I want y'all to lift the church pants up and be like...
29:06He look just like himself.
29:08You better not die before me.
29:10I'm going to moisturize you personally.
29:14I've been waiting for this, Nick.
29:19I'm going to wake up and haunt you.
29:21I'm going to be in your house taking all the lotion like...
29:27All right.
29:28What was happening?
29:29It got worse.
29:31Don't snap.
29:31You know, my best friends, they were like,
29:33well, we can't see him, you know,
29:35we can't let Trev see him alone.
29:38So they come up there and it's just...
29:41I just try to pass out and they just carry me on out.
29:44Try to pass out?
29:45You safe to pass out?
29:47Yeah, I did.
29:50Did they catch you?
29:51Uh, yeah.
29:52They caught me and just took me on out while they're here.
29:55Did you know that y'all...
29:57Did they know you was doing a fake pass out?
29:59Oh, absolutely.
30:00Yeah.
30:01That's funny as hell, man.
30:01Y'all, I'm finna pass out.
30:02I'm finna pass out.
30:03Ah, Terry!
30:06You ain't even catch me, man.
30:08You let me lean.
30:10I could have died.
30:10Man, we about to go on Tony, man.
30:14Y'all wild at the funerals, man.
30:16Yeah, it's bad.
30:17That's funny, though.
30:18Like I said, we jovial, you know.
30:19I don't know if I want you to be jovial at the funeral,
30:22but at the same time, funny stuff do be happening at the funeral.
30:25Funny is funny, man.
30:26Funny be funny, man.
30:27I hate it when pastors bomb at the funeral, man.
30:30When the pastors be bombing at funerals,
30:32and you be sitting there through the tears like,
30:35what the fuck is this nigga talking about, man?
30:40What the fuck he talking about?
30:45What this got to do with my mama?
30:50Baby bombing, man.
30:51The pastor bomb at Jason's funeral.
30:53The pastor bomb at my brother.
30:54The pastor's bomb at my son's funeral.
30:55I was like, I looked at my brother-in-law.
30:57I was watching him.
30:58I was just like, what the fuck this nigga talking about, man?
31:04I was in there.
31:04I was like, man, the pastor kind of messing up.
31:06Yeah.
31:07I was like, where is he going with this?
31:08I had a dog in there.
31:09That's happening at Jay's funeral, too.
31:10We was jumping off the roof.
31:15And they always got to close out the funeral.
31:17No, the pastor should go up early.
31:19You let the family close it out.
31:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:21Because the family be killing it.
31:23Yeah, family be good.
31:24Y'all can't know y'all close.
31:25Oh, your mom killed it.
31:26My mom had a tight five.
31:27She killed it.
31:27I was like, hey, she's killing at the funeral.
31:28No pun with the killing, but.
31:30Oh, yeah.
31:31My uncle was bombing.
31:32He was like, when you get the baton,
31:33you got to finish the race.
31:35Can the race be?
31:36And you co-signed him.
31:38I did.
31:38I said that at the spot.
31:39He did good at my cousin's funeral.
31:41The last funeral, he had a great game.
31:43He had 30, 15, and nine.
31:44Nah.
31:45At the funeral.
31:46So I'm telling Tone.
31:47Tone was like, man, I hope you don't bomb.
31:48I was like, nah, he going to do good, Tone.
31:50He came up there and was like, man, God was a baby.
31:53I was like, what, man?
31:55Bomb.
31:56What are you talking about, man?
31:57And I told him through his face, hey, man,
31:59you better not bomb.
32:01Ken was like, nah, Tone, he know Jason.
32:03He going to kill it.
32:05Nah, he bombed.
32:06It was tough.
32:07All right, before we let you go, Trevor.
32:10Black Trevor.
32:12That's a jovial name.
32:14That's a jovial name.
32:16I'm just saying, like, I ain't never met a black Trevor.
32:19Trevor, no, but he's South African.
32:20I don't know that many Trevors, period.
32:22Yeah, I know one.
32:23He big white.
32:23All right, anyway.
32:24You also said you impersonate voices?
32:27Yeah.
32:27Oh, yeah.
32:28Are you good?
32:29I'm all right.
32:30Okay, you're going to do the impersonation, and we're going to guess who you're doing as
32:34an audience, too.
32:35Okay.
32:35Not like Taboo, but just, we're going to see if you're really good at it.
32:38Because black people, we like impersonations.
32:39Let's get it.
32:40All right, don't tell us who it is, and we'll tell you if you're good.
32:42Because I'm a great impersonator.
32:44Are you?
32:45Oh, my God.
32:46I do great.
32:47Do you do Ray Charles?
32:48I do a good Ray Lick.
32:50I got a Walmart.
32:52Way over down.
32:54Yeah, what?
32:55Man, he's on me.
32:57I got a Walmart.
32:59Way over down.
33:01People be like, man, do your Ray, man.
33:04You know how it is.
33:06You know how to do it.
33:09You know how to do it.
33:12Well.
33:14See, that's good.
33:17That was solid, right?
33:18I mean, it was no Jamie Foxx, but you know.
33:20I could do it in a piece.
33:21It was a lifetime.
33:23A lifetime?
33:23Yeah.
33:24All right, go ahead.
33:30Colton, Colton, get the change on the door.
33:32The enemy is here.
33:34Morgan Freeman.
33:35I only knew that because of the dialogue.
33:39I only knew it because of the dialogue, though.
33:41That was terrible, Morgan Freeman.
33:44Hey, Colton.
33:44Hey, Colton.
33:45The enemy is here.
33:46My Ray Charles way better than that.
33:48Is that your best one?
33:50Hey, man, I had a few tonight.
33:51All right.
33:52Do another one.
33:53We guessed it, though.
33:54Simba, you deliberately disobeyed me.
33:57Nah, man.
33:58Nah, man.
33:58That's Jimmy Ray Johnson.
34:00That ain't no James Earl Jones.
34:02Nah, man.
34:02Hey, man.
34:03James Earl Jones was busy.
34:04I got Jimmy Ray.
34:05That man said, hey, Simba.
34:07Simba.
34:08Hey, Simba, man.
34:09Hey.
34:10All that you see could be yours.
34:11You know what I'm saying?
34:12I'm talking about you filming.
34:15What he said?
34:15He said.
34:17He said.
34:17He said.
34:18Hey, I was good.
34:18You wrote down.
34:20I do impersonation, man.
34:21You just talk the lines of the larky.
34:24Hey, Simba, man.
34:25Don't be going to the dark side over there.
34:27For the, uh.
34:29The, uh.
34:29Scar, help me, brother.
34:30The hyenas be over there.
34:31They be biting and stuff.
34:32Whoopi Goldberg is a hyena in this movie.
34:35All right?
34:35Scar.
34:35Scar, help me, brother.
34:37Help me, please.
34:39Help me, please, brother.
34:41All right.
34:42Do one more.
34:42Give him one more.
34:43All right.
34:43One more, man.
34:44One more, Joey.
34:45We got him.
34:45We got him from the lines.
34:48Give us another one.
34:49Do Barack Obama.
34:51No, don't tell him.
34:52Barack Obama.
34:52He said, give me one.
34:53Oh, give him one.
34:55Once he knows, he's not doing good.
34:57Give me another one.
34:58I don't want to do good.
34:59Okay.
34:59Uh, who's a good impersonation?
35:01Chris Tucker.
35:01Chris Tucker.
35:02Man.
35:03All right, man.
35:04Y'all shuffle.
35:05We'll see you around, man.
35:07All right.
35:07Come on out, Amy.
35:09What's the first date moment that you had said,
35:12that had you saying to yourself,
35:13nope, I'm never seeing this person again?
35:15Oh, snap.
35:15Yeah.
35:16So this was when I first moved here.
35:19So like back 2005 or six.
35:21So we met on Black Planet.
35:23All right, cool.
35:24Oh, Black Planet.
35:24You was on Black Planet?
35:26Look at Annie with the waves going back.
35:27Black Planet.
35:27I was on Black Planet before y'all was on MySpace.
35:30Yeah.
35:30All right.
35:30What happened on Black Planet, Mick?
35:31So I met him.
35:33He was gorgeous.
35:34It was going to be great.
35:36First date.
35:36We've been talking.
35:38We sit down and he looks at me and he says,
35:41I have to tell you something before we go any further.
35:44Oh, snap.
35:45Yeah.
35:45And I said, what?
35:46He said, baby, I got a micro penis, but I can take care of you.
35:57Hold on.
35:57Say it one more time for the people who couldn't hear it.
36:01Say it one more time, Amy.
36:05He said, I have something I have to tell you.
36:08I have a micro penis, but I can take care of you.
36:15Yo, you got to respect the transparency of that man.
36:20Because if you got micro penis, it can't be a surprise.
36:23You know you got the micro penis.
36:25You know you got micro penis.
36:26So you got to let a woman know off the top.
36:28Look, we having a good time.
36:31I got a micro penis, but I can eat your coochie right.
36:36He didn't look like he would.
36:36That's all I got.
36:37You say he didn't look like he would?
36:39Yeah.
36:40Like to look at him, you would have thought, you know.
36:42Yeah.
36:43You know.
36:44Oh.
36:46Oh.
36:46Oh.
36:48Oh.
36:49Oh.
36:49Oh.
36:49Oh.
36:52Oh.
36:52Oh.
36:53Oh.
37:03Oh.
37:04Oh.
37:05Oh.
37:06Oh, oh, wait, wait.
37:12Oh.
37:23Oh my.
37:25Oh.
37:28Oh, oh.
37:30Oh.
37:30Oh.
37:30Oh.
37:30Oh.
37:30You ghosted him?
37:32Yeah.
37:32Would you rather him not tell you
37:36than you find out he has a micro-pip?
37:38Oh, that would have been horrible.
37:39I would have had to get up and walk out.
37:41You would have left him on semi-hard?
37:44Like, what do you do with that?
37:46That's what he was trying to avoid.
37:48It happened to him before.
37:50He was like, look, look, please, please, hold on, please.
37:53I don't know.
37:54I can do other stuff.
37:55Let me go first.
37:56I can do other stuff.
37:56Let me go first.
37:57Before I let, let me just keep my drawers on.
37:59Wait, wait, come on.
37:59Let me lick you.
38:00I can lick you.
38:01I can lick.
38:01Did you finish the date at least?
38:03Let me lick.
38:03After that, it won't even matter what I got.
38:05I don't have a lot.
38:06I think I did.
38:08I think I finished the date.
38:09Popcorn shrimp is good, too, y'all.
38:10You know?
38:11You can't always have prawns.
38:13Sometimes you just want to have a little popcorn shrimp
38:15with a little dynamite sauce.
38:17I respect the clarity up front, but yeah.
38:19But he could have played you and been like,
38:21y'all been hanging out, y'all just spent more time together,
38:23and then he would have.
38:24Oh, yeah, if I would have found out in the dark,
38:26that would have been terrible.
38:27Because he would have serviced you first.
38:28Since he had the micropenis, he would have went for the gobble first.
38:31Yeah, and he did express that he was good at that.
38:35Yeah, so he would have started with that.
38:35So now it's my mistake.
38:37Now you might have the best cushion you're eating of your life.
38:39Man, that might have took you to the next dimension.
38:42Well, maybe.
38:43And then he would have came up and be like, let's get it in.
38:45He'd be like, you know what?
38:48I got to run.
38:49I got to, uh...
38:51He's going to always find the excuse to...
38:54He got married?
38:54He got married.
38:55I saw him on Facebook, and he had gotten married,
38:57so somebody was okay with it.
38:58Oh, so you kept up with him, huh?
39:00No.
39:00He kept up with me.
39:02He kept up with me.
39:03Oh, he kept up with you.
39:04He found me.
39:04She's looking at the wedding pictures,
39:06trying to see if the wife is happy.
39:07Like, she look happy to me.
39:09The wife's like...
39:11He might have got a procedure, though.
39:14Yeah.
39:14Yeah, they got procedures now.
39:15Yeah, they can pump you up.
39:16Yeah, yeah.
39:17He might have did that.
39:18You could be like...
39:19Somebody told us,
39:20you can put a button on your hip,
39:22and it make your meat go big.
39:23Yeah, that was crazy.
39:24I heard about that,
39:25and I was like, yo, this is Reebok Pumps.
39:27An autopsy person told us that you can put a micro...
39:30You can have a penis enhancer,
39:32insert it in your body,
39:33and you can pump yourself up like a Reebok commercial.
39:35That's crazy.
39:37Serious.
39:37That's crazy.
39:38You'll be like, girl, I'm gonna tear you up.
39:39Just hold on.
39:40Hold on one second.
39:41I'm finna beat the brakes off this.
39:43Yeah, I used to have a micro pee,
39:44and I had to eat the coochie first.
39:45Give me a second.
39:46I gotta go about 17 pumps,
39:48and then I can tear you up.
39:49I think I might have a leak in the valve.
39:51All right, come on out, Shamika.
39:54Are you moisturized?
39:55Today I am.
39:57You don't put lotion on every day?
39:59Absolutely not.
40:00Y'all, this is the greatest day of all time.
40:02What's going on in Charlotte, man?
40:04My heart is about to come out my chest.
40:06Your heart?
40:07Yeah.
40:07Don't worry, relax.
40:08You don't have to be nervous.
40:09Yeah.
40:10Oh, my bad.
40:10Tell me, no, there's nobody here.
40:12Yeah, ain't nobody, man.
40:13What's the craziest thing about your life
40:15that nobody would believe just by looking at you?
40:17Can I read it?
40:18You can read it.
40:19It's gonna make you feel more comfortable.
40:20Yeah.
40:23She said,
40:24I was a stripper for two years in my 20s.
40:27Were you?
40:30Was you moisturized at the strip club?
40:36Did you have lotion on when you was dancing?
40:38We had to.
40:39She got to go to work and find her uniform.
40:40You got them right.
40:41I think if you're an ashy stripper,
40:42the men might check out.
40:44Black men might be like,
40:45nah, man, I like the twerking,
40:46but you'll need to be ashy.
40:47Don't nobody want to see no dry skin.
40:49Why are you standing up?
40:49You scared you're gonna fall?
40:50She knew.
40:52Hilarious.
40:52What was your stripper name?
40:56It was Jasmine.
40:57Jasmine?
40:58Of course.
40:59Coming to the stage.
41:01Jasmine.
41:02Whew, whew.
41:03Whew, whew.
41:04She just finished putting the lotion on backstage.
41:07Whew, whew.
41:08Whew, whew.
41:09What was the best work shift time
41:12at the strip club?
41:14We're asking the hard-hitting questions.
41:16The hard-hitting questions.
41:17What was the time frame the strippers hated working?
41:21Um, nothing.
41:23If you had regulars,
41:25every shift was a good shift.
41:27Really?
41:27Yeah.
41:27So Tuesday at 2.17 p.m.
41:30That was a good shift?
41:32John is in here like,
41:33you were a day shift?
41:35You were stripping when the sun was out?
41:36Yeah, 11 to 7.
41:3811 to 7?
41:39They was in there with a tight lunch break,
41:41and you was like,
41:42whew, whew, whew, whew, whew.
41:44Whew, whew, whew.
41:44What time you gotta go back to work?
41:50Well, you work down the street, you're okay.
41:53So if y'all clip, don't clip it.
41:54We ain't gonna clip it.
41:55Clip it, Josh.
41:56We gonna clip it.
41:57So it's gonna be our first thing in the morning on Sunday.
42:00Hey, y'all, she was in stripping, y'all.
42:02It's like an unwritten thing,
42:03like nobody in my family really know, like.
42:07They finding out right now,
42:08tomorrow morning, that you stripped?
42:09So when we clip this,
42:11they gonna know?
42:11Don't be crazy at Thanksgiving,
42:12So you was out here showing your ashy butt from 11 to 7 down at the...
42:17What was the strip club name?
42:19Tycoons.
42:20You was down... Tycoons?
42:22Tycoons?
42:23That sounded like a six-flag ride.
42:25You was down at the Tycoons shaking your ashy kneecaps.
42:29Were you, Shameka?
42:30Yeah.
42:31Thanksgiving's gonna be crazy.
42:32This is coming out tomorrow for sure.
42:33Did they have y'all work schedule on the wall?
42:37You'd be like, I'm working two to six.
42:43Dammit, can you fill in for me tomorrow?
42:45I can't...
42:56I'll fill in for you on when.
43:02What made you go into stripping?
43:04What happened?
43:05When you was down...
43:05You was in Detroit.
43:07It was so cold in the deep.
43:10You were like, man, Tycoons.
43:12What made you go in there and ask for a job?
43:14And how did you ask for a job at a strip club?
43:16It wasn't no LinkedIn.
43:17You had to talk to somebody, right?
43:19You had to have an agent.
43:21An agent?
43:22A stripper agent?
43:24Is that a pimp?
43:25Hey, man, I got...
43:26Listen, man, I got a girl, Shameka Hammond, brother.
43:28She a little ashy, but don't worry about that.
43:31You got any opens on 11 to 7?
43:33She working.
43:34She don't mind.
43:34Yeah, she like the morning rush.
43:36She like to work with Judge Judy's on.
43:38Yeah, people come off Judge Judy, come watch her strip.
43:40They go back and get home in time for Madlock.
43:42I feel like the agents go on the strip club and do recon.
43:45Then they talk to the manager.
43:47It's looking a little slow in here, huh?
43:49Listen, man, I got this new girl, right?
43:52Her name is Jasmine.
43:54She from where you from?
43:55She from Detroit, Michigan.
43:58Homegrown.
43:59Let me tell you something.
44:03You ain't ready for this girl right here.
44:07One stipulation, man.
44:08She don't fuck with lotion.
44:11Can you get down with that?
44:13Oh, she got to moisturize?
44:14I'll talk to her and see what she say.
44:15We'll go back and forth, man.
44:17I'm going to call you.
44:17I'm going to call you.
44:18On your first date, was you nervous?
44:20Hell yeah.
44:21Did you have like, I'm going to do these three things.
44:23I'm going to go isolate left cheek first.
44:27Okay, then I'm going to go drop.
44:29Like, how did you go about doing your routine?
44:31I just was drunk.
44:32I don't really remember.
44:33I couldn't get on stage without being.
44:35So you was like.
44:39Give it up for Jasmine.
45:05The dudes was like, man, I think she's drunk, bro.
45:09I'm on my lunch break here at Tycoons.
45:12That sounds like a white strip club.
45:14Was it white?
45:15It was.
45:16It was.
45:17So you had white business people like, hey, Jasmine.
45:20Do you really like me?
45:22Name's Todd.
45:23Put her there.
45:24Had a suit on.
45:25Absolutely.
45:26You had a suit on in the strip club?
45:27Men came off from work?
45:29Yeah.
45:29For sure.
45:30Yes.
45:31Yeah.
45:31Briefcases open.
45:32Let me give you $20.
45:36Listen, if I was married and I went to strip clubs on the low, I would go during my lunch
45:41break at work.
45:42Yeah, because who's going to think you're doing that at work?
45:43Exactly.
45:44Like, I'm going to Chili's, y'all.
45:45Yeah.
45:48How was the money?
45:49It was good.
45:50That's good money.
45:51It was good.
45:52This is the Plot of Players Club.
45:54This is literally what happened to Lisa Rae's character.
45:56What made you quit?
45:58Okay, so what happened was, I started drinking really bad.
46:04He was an alcoholic stripper.
46:06Yeah.
46:06Well, eventually it got to that point.
46:09Yeah.
46:10So this whole era was foggy for you.
46:12A little bit.
46:12It was like, Jasmine, you got to stop drinking.
46:14Shut up, Todd.
46:17You don't know my life.
46:19You my agent.
46:21That's all you ever be.
46:22You ain't telling me that.
46:25What was the biggest tip you ever got?
46:27Uh, like $800.
46:29$800 from one person?
46:31Oh, hell yeah.
46:36Turn on the music.
46:39Turn it on.
46:41Get this microphone off me.
46:42I got to make the money.
46:43I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
46:44You on your own.
46:45This is my only move.
46:48Now you're clapping.
46:50Now you're clapping.
46:51Now you're clapping.
46:52Now you got it.
46:53Thank y'all so much.
46:54You've only titties the whole time.
47:04I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:10I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:15I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:16I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:16I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:17I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:19I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
47:21I'm not taking it off you, dawg.
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