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  • 4 hours ago
Gogglebox S27E07
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00:00Ta-da!
00:03Are you ready for Paddy's day?
00:05Yeah.
00:06Shh, kitschy.
00:11Where's yours?
00:12You look like a leprechaun drag queen.
00:14Where's yours?
00:16Man, I'm ready.
00:17Where is it?
00:18Yeah, I'm ready.
00:21Oh, you said you was getting dressed up.
00:24I am.
00:26I didn't know you'd go that far.
00:34Have you ever done it like that?
00:36Well, I'd tell you what they had.
00:40Oh, Barcelona.
00:43No, I don't like the disguise trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:46A what?
00:47Fault fetish.
00:48I had no idea that was a thing.
00:50Remove my britches.
00:51Expose your loins.
00:52I like that.
00:56Oh, Ronnie.
00:57This is weird.
00:58Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
01:00This is why I don't date.
01:01His heart is dicing with the devil.
01:03Oh, no.
01:04He suffers for his heart, doesn't he?
01:06Clearly.
01:06A Bentley Continental!
01:08I think I'd rather call it a day, Nancy, wouldn't you?
01:11Who's been arrested now, and for what?
01:16In the week Jessie Buckley became the first Irish woman ever to win Best Actress at the Oscars,
01:22we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:25There was a must-see BAFTA winner on Netflix.
01:28I've seen quite a few youngsters for this job.
01:31Aye.
01:31And I don't think I'm breaking any confidentiality when I tell you that that is the best cup of tea
01:37yet.
01:38Great.
01:39It means something when someone you respect tells you that you make good tea.
01:42Dad's never said it to us, has he?
01:44Has he ever said it to you?
01:45Once or twice, yeah.
01:46When?
01:47No, he hasn't.
01:49I've written it down in my diary.
01:51What did you say?
01:52Once or twice?
01:53Well, that's more than the number of times you made me two.
01:57Mrs Trump had her own show on Prime Video.
01:59If we go out, I think people will already know where we would go out, so...
02:04I do like her smoky eye, don't you think?
02:09I might try and rehear that, look, he'll see me.
02:15I might try it out, you know, on a night owl or two.
02:18And then when people ask me, oh, that looks nice, what did you get this far from, Melania?
02:23First lady.
02:25And there was some straight talking down under on E4.
02:28So one thing I asked the experts for but didn't get is Bradley Cooper.
02:35Clearly doesn't fit her profile, does it?
02:38I mean, when I married you, Steve, I thought you looked like Brian Ferry,
02:42but now you look like Danny DeVito, so people change, don't they?
02:48Sorry?
02:50They change.
02:52Who do I look like now?
02:54Danny DeVito.
02:56I married Brian Ferry.
02:58What happened?
03:06In Wiltshire...
03:08On the mainland, we drink out of cups and saucers, not jugs, Mary.
03:12There's no mugs or cups in the kitchen.
03:14You're obviously relapsing into your...
03:17Giles!
03:17...Northern Irish habits.
03:18I have to drink out of this because you have taken all the cups and mugs into the garden.
03:24Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:26So I'm just going to have to keep drinking out of jugs until all the jugs have gone into
03:31the garden as well.
03:32And what will I be left with?
03:34Saucepans.
03:35I'll be drinking out of saucepans next.
03:36Oh, no, Mary.
03:38We don't want you relapsing into barbarism.
03:41What do you mean, relapsing into barbarism?
03:45What are you talking about?
03:46Well, you've come such a long way since you've moved to the mainland.
03:51On Saturday night, Graham Norton had us all in a spin again on ITV.
03:56My favourite type of wheel is a car steering wheel with that lovely diamond-y cover on.
04:02Horrible, that.
04:05The worst thing I've ever seen.
04:06Are you doing your newspaper quizzes every day to keep your brain in gear?
04:09I do the easy crossword and all the little puzzles.
04:12How well done you?
04:13Except the cryptic.
04:14I can't do the cryptic because I simply don't know what they're talking about.
04:20Wheel of fortune!
04:24Oh, stop it. There's no need for that.
04:26Let's start winning with three quick-fire puzzles.
04:28You got your buzzers there? All right.
04:30Right, OK, I'm ready. I'm ready.
04:32The clue for all three of these is curious collectives.
04:36Curious collectives?
04:38I'm lost with the clue.
04:39This one is worth £500.
04:42Er...
04:43Ah. Yes.
04:45Of.
04:45Er something of.
04:50Prickle of...
04:51A prickle of what?
04:52A prickle of...
04:54A prickle of...
04:55A prickle of...
04:55A prickle of summer.
04:55Juleps.
04:57A prickle of fuck-ups.
04:59No.
05:00Hedgehogs.
05:01No.
05:02Porcupines!
05:04Porcupines!
05:04And it's Daniel.
05:05A prickle of porcupines?
05:08He's only got...
05:10I got that.
05:11You did?
05:11I got that before all of them.
05:13Well done.
05:16Another curious collective.
05:18A something of something.
05:21Ah.
05:22Where's ah?
05:23Where are you getting ah from?
05:24This is the first letter.
05:25I don't think everything starts with ah.
05:26Is it true?
05:29Something goes.
05:31Flamingos.
05:32There's got...
05:33Flamingos.
05:36Er...
05:36A boison.
05:37No.
05:38This is well hard.
05:40A flamboyant of flamingos.
05:44Daniel.
05:44A flamboyance of flamingos.
05:47A flamboy...
05:49Oh.
05:51It's all X, innit?
05:53Celebrity second jobs.
05:57Kylie Minogue.
05:58No.
05:58No.
06:01Lighthouse keeper Billy Piper.
06:04No, you can see it.
06:07Who could be a lighthouse keeper?
06:09Er...
06:10Dua Lipa.
06:11Lighthouse keeper.
06:12Daniel.
06:13And it's Daniel again.
06:14Daniel, can you just give the others a chance please?
06:17Dua Lipa.
06:18Lighthouse keeper.
06:19Wow.
06:20Oh my god.
06:21No one's ever going to get that.
06:23I got it.
06:24I got it.
06:24Did you see me get that then?
06:26I don't think Dua Lipa has a lighthouse.
06:28She must be.
06:29That must be what she does in her spare time.
06:31Second job.
06:32Lighthouse.
06:32Surely not.
06:33This is a very special skill you have, Daniel.
06:35It is.
06:35This guy must be an expert in this...
06:37A random game that no one can figure out yet.
06:40You've got to level the playing field.
06:42Take Daniel's glasses off him or something.
06:45Let's go for our third and final toss up.
06:48Third and final.
06:50Who's going to solve it?
06:52Celebrity second jobs.
06:53Celine Dion.
06:54Celine Dion.
06:55Why do you keep following everything you can't say?
06:58You're like a parrot, yo.
07:03Traffic Warden.
07:05Uh, something Dorden traffic warden.
07:07Traffic warden.
07:08Traffic warden.
07:09What's the name though?
07:12Gordon.
07:13Something Gordon.
07:14Who Gordon?
07:15Which Gordon?
07:17James Corden.
07:19James Corden.
07:20James Corden traffic warden.
07:22Do you mind not shouting?
07:23Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
07:26Stupid girl.
07:28And it's Nicole.
07:30Oh look, Nicole, yes.
07:31James Corden traffic warden.
07:33Who?
07:34No.
07:35Oh my God.
07:37Now you know who's going to come in and nick it.
07:40Daniel.
07:41James Corden traffic warden.
07:44Yes.
07:45Oh.
07:46Oh, they should have let her have it, Mary.
07:48No, she got it wrong.
07:49Oh, you was nearly there, Nicole.
07:51Well, you give him a blow.
07:52Well, at least the buzzer's working.
07:53Yeah.
07:54Oh, yeah.
07:57In Caffilly.
07:58Ah, so do you fancy your idea of, er, going to Paris for your birthday or no?
08:03Well, I don't mind France.
08:05Paris is in France.
08:07I thought it was two different places.
08:09Dave and his wife, Shirley.
08:11But Paris is the capital of France.
08:14Oh, I didn't know that.
08:15How long have you been under this?
08:18Well, I always thought, you know, the, what's that, Leaning Tower of Pisa, innit?
08:24That's in Paris, innit?
08:27That's in Italy and Rome.
08:28Is it?
08:29Yeah.
08:30Oh, no, I mean the other.
08:32Geographically, you and me.
08:34I mean the other building.
08:36Not the Eifield.
08:38Oh, the Eifield Tower.
08:39The Blackpool Tower.
08:39No, the Eifield, innit?
08:42What is it?
08:42The Eifield Tower.
08:43The Eifield.
08:44Yeah.
08:45It's the Eifield Tower.
08:47Oh, right.
08:48God help us.
08:49I don't know where the hell I am.
08:50On Wednesday night, the latest bunch of Maff's newlyweds were moving in together on Eifield.
08:56I remember your wedding, Nathia, and what?
08:59What do you mean my wedding?
09:00You were at it.
09:00Sorry, I remember our wedding, and I remember what the most thing that your mother was so
09:05proud of was the amount of vol-au-vent and small sausage rolls.
09:10Don't start this again.
09:11And trifle Mary.
09:15She's produced several trifles.
09:17I remember your mother coming with wearing a nylon bikini to the wedding.
09:22No, no, no, that's not correct.
09:24Well, exactly.
09:24Neither did my mother serve trifles and vol-au-vents.
09:27But if my memory serves me correctly.
09:29Well, it doesn't.
09:34I asked Nat the other day when we're going to get married, and he said we're not.
09:37So I says, well, what about inheritance sacks?
09:40And he says, well, there's ways of means.
09:42What a way to woo a guy.
09:44Let's talk about when one of us dies.
09:47Woo!
09:48Let's get married.
09:49I'm clutching at straws here.
09:54Mel and Luke, darling.
09:56I know.
09:56These two have got off on the wrong foot so far.
10:06Oh, this looks fun, doesn't it?
10:07They don't seem happy, do they?
10:13That freaking violin's getting on my bed.
10:16It's just awkward and frosty, man.
10:19Why are they not talking to each other?
10:20I'm feeling quite flat because obviously the situation with Mel and I isn't great.
10:25We can see that, really.
10:27You don't have to tell us.
10:28Bloody hell.
10:28It definitely feels like a little bit uncomfortable.
10:31He makes me look excitable.
10:34Stop it.
10:36Feels like pretty awkward, to be honest.
10:38Yeah, welcome to marriage.
10:39That's a nice little area.
10:40Yeah, and it's got a coffee machine, which is great.
10:46Well, you can't have a relationship without a coffee machine, can you?
10:50No.
10:51Oh, very nice.
10:52Yeah.
10:53And a microwave.
10:55Yeah, let's just point everything around the room.
10:57Yeah, and it's got a window.
10:59Oh, my God.
11:00It's got a door.
11:00It's got a bed.
11:01It's got a bed, yeah.
11:02The photo ranking task returns in Revelations week.
11:05Oh, no.
11:06Oh, my God, this is the worst one, isn't it?
11:08It's brutal.
11:09You're an absolute dick if you don't put your wife first.
11:12Exactly.
11:13I mean, it couldn't be clearer.
11:15I feel like this is a really hard challenge to do.
11:17Like, all the girls are pretty.
11:19Yeah, yeah.
11:20God, please, just, please, just get it right.
11:23That's the shag pile there.
11:25And that's the avoid just a picture of it.
11:28And then pop you right here.
11:33Ah, he's got airfare.
11:35Number one.
11:35Mel number one.
11:37Nailed it.
11:38This is a truthful experiment.
11:39This is a truthful task.
11:41Pride myself in being honest throughout this whole experiment.
11:43Oh, she's going to be brutally honest.
11:45Summit tells me she ain't going to put him first.
11:49We've got Scott here.
11:52And then Grayson here.
11:53Tell you what, they've all got turkey teeth, haven't they?
11:56Oh, look at you.
11:59And then you.
12:02Got you here.
12:06Where is she going to put him now, Tom?
12:08I'm a little bit nervous, Simon.
12:10Physically, like, you do look like some sort of, like, great god.
12:13Oh, no, I feel about coming on.
12:15But...
12:16Sorry, I've put you just here next to you.
12:17I've got a close second, though.
12:20Oh, she's second.
12:22That's not bad, considering they're not getting on.
12:25That's terrible.
12:26It's not bad.
12:27Mum, if a man did that to me, you would be fuming.
12:31That just knocks me down even further, to be honest.
12:34Oh, Luke!
12:36Have I done anything to make you feel underconfident?
12:40Well, it's a bit late now, Mary.
12:41Oh.
12:43Er, you might have asked that question 60 years ago.
12:50Oh, no, it's another task.
12:52We've crafted a series of prompts for you to answer.
12:56Oh, God.
12:59The most shocking thing I did after a break-up was get in the car with my friends
13:03and drive past his house multiple times during the night time to make sure he was home.
13:08What the hell?
13:09Oh, I've been there, done that.
13:11That's normal.
13:11That's not weird.
13:12I would probably do that as well.
13:14Yeah, I think that's all it is.
13:15But in this sense, I'm going to say, oh, dear me.
13:20And if his car was there, it meant that he was home.
13:23So, night made.
13:26Oh, my God!
13:28The red flags are...
13:31..waving wildly at him.
13:41Right.
13:45What do you even say to that?
13:47What do you say to that?
13:48What the hell?
13:49Luke has decided that he might need some space.
13:53I'm not surprised, but...
13:56Run, Luke! Run!
13:58You see, me and Paige, we were not like this at the beginning, but we're similar.
14:03You know, Paige moved up north to go to uni, early doors, you know,
14:06within three months of us being together.
14:08Didn't like it and then went back down south.
14:11Mm.
14:11The only problem was that while the absence makes the heart grow fonder,
14:15it cost me a fucking fortune in diesel, too, I wouldn't see it.
14:17But you won't hear your moaning about it.
14:20No!
14:20Never mention it.
14:21LAUGHTER
14:23Never see that money again.
14:25But it's worth it.
14:26I've got my children now, haven't I?
14:28I'm your wife.
14:29I'm the wife, obviously.
14:38In Blackpool...
14:39Paige and Eva went out to dancing this morning.
14:42Yeah.
14:42And I was having a chat with Jimmy because it's Mother's Day, isn't it, tomorrow?
14:45Oh, yes, it is.
14:46Have you got her a card for kids?
14:48No.
14:49I thought you were picking me one up.
14:50No, I've picked you up a card for our mum.
14:52Pete and his little sister Sophie.
14:55Fucking hell.
14:56LAUGHTER
14:56You leave me in the shit, you, sometimes.
15:01Listen, in case you haven't noticed, I don't have a wife and kids.
15:04It's not my remit.
15:06No, but you have a brother who's shite with stuff like this.
15:10Yeah, but I've sorted out for our mum and nan.
15:13Yeah, but also sorted out for my children's mum.
15:17This week, we were game for a laugh again on Prime Video.
15:21Ellie, last one laughing.
15:23New series, new comedians.
15:27The time I laugh most heartily is at...
15:30Hello and welcome to a brand new series of...
15:33Come on, what do I laugh most heartily at?
15:36My own jokes.
15:37Oh, yes, your own jokes or if someone else...
15:40...repeats your own joke and then you interrupt them.
15:44Yes, you do.
15:45For the next six hours, ten comedians will be locked in here,
15:48trying to make each other laugh whilst trying not to laugh themselves.
15:52I know for a fact I'd be hopeless at something like this.
15:54I would too, yeah.
15:55You know?
15:55I'd be first out.
15:57Actually, we might be all right at this game
15:59because we would just have such bad verbal diarrhoea
16:02that no-one could say anything to us.
16:04That's true.
16:05Just don't let anyone else speak.
16:06Just talk at them.
16:08Constant drivel.
16:09Barrage.
16:10We're going to love this, Roisin.
16:11The defending champion is going back in.
16:13It's Bob Mortimer.
16:14Oh, you idiot.
16:16Use your favourite, love.
16:17Nobody sends a chance with Bob Mortimer.
16:20Oh, no!
16:21Oh, no!
16:23Oh, no, no!
16:24Oh, no!
16:24Look at you like a rubbish.
16:26Oh, God, I've got no chance here.
16:28Bob, as our reigning champion, do you have any tips for your fellow players?
16:31Yeah, get a safety face.
16:33Safety face?
16:34A safety face.
16:35Safety face.
16:36A safety face.
16:37What's your session?
16:38I'm going to go on under that.
16:42Somebody said I've got a resting bitch face and I don't know what they're on about.
16:45Yeah, I do.
16:46Right, time to start the game.
16:48Last one laughing wins.
16:51Oh, no.
16:53Right, we're in.
16:54Nobody laugh.
16:56Oh, no, no, no, look, no.
16:57See, I would be out already.
16:58You're out.
17:01Can I join you, Mum?
17:03May I?
17:03No.
17:04Yes, say no.
17:06I'd go like that.
17:07No.
17:09Get away.
17:10Yes, you may.
17:11You're not sure, are you?
17:12Well, it's just because you were a dangerous bloke, do you know what I mean?
17:16I'd say go sit with somebody else.
17:18Fuck off.
17:18Fuck off, Bob.
17:19I once woke up and there was a shit on me windowsill.
17:28Oh, see, toilet humour just makes me laugh.
17:31Yeah.
17:31That would be me gone.
17:32Proper.
17:33Like a human shirt?
17:34Yeah, well, I think it would come from me.
17:38What do you say to that?
17:43Okay.
17:44Oh, Ramesh is in trouble.
17:46Is he going to get Ramesh now?
17:49Oh, he got himself.
17:52Well, that was horrible, Bob, thank you.
17:56Fair of him nearly gone.
17:57Bob have had to move away, mate.
17:59Because I think Bob was on the verge of going a bit then.
18:03What's your favourite bank that you don't have an account with?
18:05Santander.
18:06Because of the bikes?
18:08Because of Ant & Dec.
18:09Oh, look, he's going for Bob.
18:11Don't get caught up in Bob Multimer.
18:14Have you met them much?
18:15I've lifted up Ant & Dec.
18:17He's a stupid slut, isn't he?
18:19Really?
18:20When they were going through their fellow years?
18:22No, physically lifted them.
18:27He's there talking about lifting little people.
18:31Can I lift you?
18:32You can give it a go.
18:35I mean, that would be surreal, isn't it?
18:36See if someone just lifted up Bob Multimer.
18:41Oh, it did.
18:50Alan!
18:51He's going, he's going.
18:53Was Alan laughing?
18:54Smoking, he was smiling.
18:55Jim!
18:56OK, that was definitely a laugh.
18:59Oh, what's that mean?
19:00Someone laughed.
19:01Who laughed?
19:02Who was it?
19:03Is that Alan?
19:03Were it Bob?
19:04Did Bob laugh when Sam picked him up?
19:06Let's have a look at the replay.
19:08Let's have a look.
19:09Who is it?
19:10You can give it a go.
19:12Whoa, Sam!
19:14Oh, it's him!
19:15Oh, it's Bob!
19:16Whoo!
19:17Oh!
19:19He's got him!
19:20He got him!
19:21Do you remember that time when we got on,
19:22when we was in Egypt on that cruise?
19:24I can't because I can't even look at you now
19:26when you're talking about it.
19:27I just didn't look at you that night.
19:30It was daytime, wasn't it?
19:32Daytime.
19:33Yeah, and we had to get on.
19:34I was getting on that felucca.
19:35Yeah.
19:35In Egypt.
19:37And this woman got on with the sunglasses
19:38and her headscarf.
19:40And she, like, slipped.
19:41Licked.
19:42And the wig fell off.
19:45And landed in the Nile.
19:46Floated down the Nile.
19:47And I knew I just turned away because I thought,
19:50I can't, I can't look at you.
19:53Because it's people, you laugh at people's downfalls.
19:57I did hear when there's other friggin' wig flying down the river.
20:04In North London.
20:06Amira, I have to show you this.
20:07Oh, is that your Eid outfit?
20:09But I'm not feeling it, so I need to get your opinion on it.
20:12Let's see, let's see.
20:13Sisters Amira and Amani.
20:16What the hell is that?
20:18Oh, my God, it looks like you walked into a rainforest
20:23and they bedazzled you.
20:26I don't even know what to make of it.
20:28It's not it.
20:28It's actually not it.
20:29It's not it.
20:30It looks cheap as well, Amani.
20:32How much was it?
20:33Like, a pound?
20:35How much was it?
20:37This was, I think, I spent 80 pounds on it.
20:3980 pounds?!
20:41It comes, because it comes with a dress to go underneath,
20:44and it comes with a headscarf as well, so it's a three-piece set.
20:47Oh, wow, the whole shebang, yeah?
20:50This week, it was a true story turned into a movie
20:53that had us gripped on Netflix.
20:55I can't wait for this.
20:56I swear.
20:57I know you do.
20:58No, no, no.
20:59You're always the film, I swear.
21:01You see, I've seen documentaries with John Davidson in.
21:03We like him, don't we?
21:05Yeah, he's a very interesting man.
21:06It must be quite difficult living with Tourette's.
21:10Yeah.
21:15Hey there, bro, we've been there, Julie.
21:16I was going to say a bit, that's Scotland.
21:18Who's the Scottish, John?
21:20I can't do it, don't you?
21:21Can we not just pick it up another time?
21:22We could deliver it to my house.
21:23John, it's an MBE, not a pizza.
21:26Oh, my God, the MBE.
21:28Oh, he's getting an award.
21:29Oh, he's getting off the Queen or somebody like that.
21:32John, I'll embarrass myself, don't you?
21:34I'll see something for a Greg.
21:35He's trying to leave.
21:36He doesn't trust himself to not say anything or be embarrassed.
21:44Oh, it's the Queen.
21:45Oh, no.
21:49Oh, look, you can see the ticks come in.
21:51I mean, that would be stressful and daunting for anyone walking in there,
21:54let alone if you've got Tourette's.
21:55Tourette's, exactly.
21:59Fuck the Queen!
22:01Ooh!
22:02Oh!
22:03Oh, my God!
22:06Oh, my...
22:06Oh, bless him.
22:08Oh, he didn't mean it.
22:09He didn't mean it.
22:10He can't help it.
22:14No, that is one way to make an entrance, isn't it?
22:17Am I allowed to laugh at this, Simon, or is that disrespectful?
22:21There are times it is genuinely funny.
22:24OK.
22:24You can tell there's other times where it's really quite distressing, so we try and navigate,
22:29but, yeah, sometimes it's genuinely funny.
22:34Hey!
22:35Oh, have we gone back in time now?
22:37Well, it must be when he's younger, isn't he, growing up?
22:39Yeah.
22:39Remind me to get some Oxford cubes as well, Johnny.
22:41Is that for a stew?
22:42A stew!
22:43Stop it!
22:44How's she telling him to stop it as well?
22:46Like, that's what I'm saying.
22:47You know, back then, it's like...
22:48It was a lack of understanding.
22:49It was a very, very strong lack of understanding.
22:52Johnny Dean!
22:54Jesus!
22:55How you doing, pal?
22:57Oh, here's his mate Murray.
22:58Oh, look at them. They're pleased to see each other.
23:00Fancy a wee drink or something, John? Have a wee catch-up?
23:03No, he can't drink, Murray. He's on medication.
23:05Yeah, we can go for a coke or something.
23:07We could maybe just go for a walk or something.
23:09Whank!
23:09Yeah, that'd be good.
23:11No, we aren't going for one of them, John.
23:14We might have seen each other for a while.
23:17Good way to catch up.
23:18See, when we get in there, John, can you just relax and don't do anything weird, please?
23:22I won't.
23:22Oh, the boys are on the town.
23:24How's this going to go? First night out?
23:26It goes one way or another, doesn't it?
23:36This is perfect place for him, though, isn't it?
23:38Because it's quite loud.
23:39Oh, hairy, yeah.
23:44Oh, John's vibes enough.
23:46Can I buy you a drink?
23:47Ah!
23:48Can I buy you a drink?
23:49Yeah!
23:50He's a smooth operator.
23:51You're my son.
23:52Tell you what, he's not backwards and coming forwards, is he?
23:55It's fitting there, wasn't he?
23:57Yeah, nice.
24:00Oh, she's feeling him.
24:01Someone's getting the eye.
24:02Giving the eye, yes.
24:07Oh!
24:07Oh, dear.
24:08That was a tick.
24:09That was a tick, right?
24:10Sorry, pal.
24:12Oh!
24:12Oh, no.
24:14Oh, God, fisticuffs now.
24:16Oh, that wasn't John's fault.
24:21That must be difficult.
24:22Oh, he can't control it.
24:23That kid don't know it, Lee, does he?
24:25No.
24:25He doesn't know he thinks he's picked a fight.
24:27Yeah.
24:28A bit later, Murray's mum had lined up an interview for John.
24:32Tommy at the community centre's looking for an assistant.
24:35They're interviewing next week.
24:36He needs somebody to believe in him.
24:38She believes in him, don't she?
24:39For a job as a caretaker.
24:42How are you, John?
24:42All right.
24:43Nice to be here.
24:43How are you?
24:44How are you doing?
24:44OK.
24:45I don't, he's told me a lot about you.
24:46Good.
24:46Right.
24:47Oh, dear.
24:48Oh, dear.
24:49John, right on his face as well.
24:52Hi, Irene, did you get that note about the blue roll?
24:54Yeah, no worries.
24:55Yeah, anyway.
24:57He's just not taking notice of what he's doing.
24:59So the caretaker knows he's got...
25:00Yeah, he knows he's got to rest.
25:02But he's not making it an issue.
25:04No.
25:05Is he?
25:05Right, I'll give you a rundown of the place.
25:07Give me a cork in my hand.
25:11Of all the things they're saying, what the hell?
25:14I'd be like, what?
25:15Pardon?
25:16I mean, we all think it, but we don't say it.
25:19So now we get to the most important part of the interview, John.
25:24Bumsex.
25:26Oh, man.
25:27The thing is, you don't know whether it's funny,
25:30but you feel bad for laughing because you know he doesn't mean it.
25:33But I'm not laughing at you.
25:36And that is, can you make a decent cup of tea?
25:40He's a good guy, isn't he, Tommy?
25:42He is.
25:42He's just taking no offence from it at all.
25:46There you go, Tommy.
25:48Oh, no!
25:50Did he just spit in his brew?
25:52I'm really sorry.
25:54I'll take that one.
25:55Aye.
25:56Aye, that's a good idea.
25:57Yeah.
25:57Good idea, yeah, yeah.
25:59I don't think this interview is going very well, do you?
26:01Is it really?
26:02Bless him.
26:02Are you OK with the tics and the swearing?
26:20Oh, no, don't cry.
26:22I literally love this man.
26:24See, I spend half my life training people to react like Tommy, yes?
26:30Because half the people don't.
26:31They can't.
26:32They don't know what to do.
26:33Tommy's just got it.
26:43In Surrey...
26:44I've succumbed, Simon.
26:47To a water bottle.
26:49Simon and his sister Jane.
26:52How many of those do you get through a day?
26:54Well, I'm just aiming for one at the moment.
26:56OK.
26:57So that would be a litre of water.
27:00Oh, that's definitely good.
27:01Isn't it?
27:01They say two a day, don't they?
27:03What, two litres a day?
27:04Something like that.
27:06OK, I'm going to see what effect it has on my having to stop and do a wee all the
27:10time.
27:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:11But I feel it's a positive thing.
27:20Right, I'm right in with the in crowd, Simon.
27:23It's like sitting next to an athlete.
27:25I feel like the Olympic Games.
27:28On Friday, there were more things to think about over breakfast on the BBC.
27:40That's what it actually sounds like.
27:42That's what it sounds like.
27:43Around half of us now choose restaurants based on social media recommendations.
27:48All the time.
27:49Yeah, how else are we choosing restaurants?
27:52If I haven't seen it on TikTok, I'm not going.
27:55So-called content creators might be replacing traditional food critics.
27:59I've never ever paid attention to traditional food critics, so I'm all for the influencers,
28:05because I'm all over social medias.
28:07If you're lucky enough to go out for a restaurant meal these days, chances are you've seen diners
28:11sort of snapping pics of their dishes before they tuck in.
28:14I can be guilty of that.
28:15Oh!
28:16If I see a big...
28:17If I've ordered a big whopping burger and it comes out, I'm taking a picture of it,
28:22so I can send it to everyone and say, look at this beast I've just took on.
28:25Hands up.
28:26I am guilty of this.
28:27I'm always looking at food blogs.
28:30I can't help it.
28:32I like to look at the food.
28:34I like to look at them eating it.
28:35I like...
28:35I like it.
28:36I like food.
28:38Well, research suggests almost half of us now pick where we dine out based on posts
28:42we've seen on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube.
28:45Oh, this doesn't affect me, Nutty.
28:47Nor me.
28:47Um, so this must be young people.
28:50And a whopping 85% of hospitality venues say they've got more people coming through the doors,
28:56thanks to so-called content creators.
28:59Well, that's surely a good thing.
29:00If it gets more footfall and more covers, Mary, look, covers.
29:06Then I think it's good for them.
29:09Imagine if someone in the restaurant you were at started setting up all of this equipment.
29:16Fucking ring light?
29:17Surely not.
29:18My friends do that whenever we go out.
29:20They get out the light and everything.
29:21I'm like, guys, I just want to eat.
29:22Seriously?
29:51Yeah.
29:53If it gets more and more of that experience is...
29:54But not everyone agrees.
29:56...legendary restaurateur and co-founder of The Ivy Jeremy King.
30:00Oh, look at him!
30:01Oh, isn't he splendid now?
30:03Oh!
30:03Oh!
30:04Oh! You've been to the RV, haven't you?
30:06I have. It was lovely.
30:07I've even had one influencer couple turn up and get outraged
30:12that they couldn't just set up a tripod and start taking shots.
30:17Yeah, well, it's not a studio. It's a restaurant, isn't it?
30:19And in the RV as well. And when I went in, it was lovely.
30:22Oh, all right, Jenny. You said, all right.
30:24That's why she said you've been to the RV.
30:26It ran full and it was lovely.
30:28All right, we know you've been to the RV.
30:30The ambience. Oh, all right.
30:31And the RV.
30:39I went to Margaret's last night and when I got there,
30:43she said she's been death cleaning.
30:45She's been prepping for death for a long time as Margaret.
30:48This isn't Margaret's first death clean.
30:51Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
30:53A food mixer. She's binned that.
30:56She gave me a full bottle of unopened baerleys
31:00that she got for her birthday.
31:01And I got this bowl and a glass plate.
31:07I don't know why it's wrapped in a hood.
31:08Why is it wrapped in a hood?
31:09I've no idea. It's wrapped in a hood.
31:12And then she's texted me as well another glass plate and a quiche dish.
31:19She said, ask me if I want them.
31:21But she did have a glass cake stand that she wouldn't part with.
31:24And Barry were having to go, I want the glass cake stand.
31:27He was saying, let her have it, let her have it.
31:29You never use it.
31:30And she was going, no, too many memories, too many memories.
31:33On Tuesday night, our favourite mountain base game show continued on ITV.
31:39Ellie, summit, final.
31:42Oh, you are, Cheryl.
31:43After a long wait, eh?
31:45I know, there's only four there.
31:46The finals of the summit.
31:47I can't wait.
31:49Who will reach the summit?
31:54What do you think is the point of a programme like this?
31:58Don't think about it too hard, Natty.
32:00OK.
32:03Oh, my God, look how big that crevasse is.
32:06Oh, shit, no.
32:09Oh, I wouldn't fancy that.
32:10Oh, look at that.
32:11How'd you get across there?
32:13This deep ice crevasse stands between you and the summit.
32:18And that's the way they're going across.
32:20Oh, my God, what, with that old ladder?
32:22No, thank you.
32:23No.
32:25Next up is Drew.
32:27Come on, Drew.
32:27Oh, is this a chap who's got a missing limb, the amputee?
32:31I've had really good balance throughout my life
32:33because I've had to adapt and overcome.
32:36I don't know if you've said it.
32:38I've had really good balance in my life.
32:44Yo!
32:45Yes!
32:46Didn't make any fuss about that.
32:48He just went for it, didn't he?
32:49Oh, yes, he did it very quickly.
32:51Well done.
32:51Well done.
32:52Yes.
32:53With Drew having made it look easy,
32:55the pressure is on for Dockers,
32:56who is last to cross.
32:58I wouldn't have a problem if Dockers fell.
33:00You're not a fan, then?
33:01No.
33:01No.
33:02Were Dockers the knobhead?
33:03Dockers was the knobhead.
33:05How's the knobhead got so far?
33:06He's come in and out of being a knobhead.
33:08He's been on a bit of a journey.
33:09It's an easy little ladder.
33:12You've only got to put one foot in front of the other.
33:13Look at him.
33:14He's full of BS.
33:16This guy.
33:17Come on, Dockers!
33:18Yes, Dockers!
33:20Oh, look, he's like, oh, oh!
33:25But unfortunately for Dockers,
33:27the mountain's keeper has arrived.
33:29Oh.
33:29Oh, shit.
33:31Oh, here we go.
33:32The keeper's coming.
33:32Oh, here he comes.
33:33The old helicopter's coming,
33:34the mountain's keeper.
33:35He'll shed a break now.
33:36And he'll fly right by him.
33:38Oh, no.
33:42Oh!
33:44That's awfully unfair.
33:46That's a bit mean, isn't it?
33:47Yes.
33:47I ain't got a balance.
33:50Oh, shit.
33:52Oh, there he goes.
33:59He's gone!
34:00He's gone!
34:02Yes!
34:03Dockers!
34:06Help!
34:07Help!
34:10What's happening?
34:12Dockers.
34:12Nobody's running out to have a look
34:14and see how he is.
34:14They're really not that bothered, are they?
34:17Fucking hell!
34:18Oh, he's dangling!
34:19He's really mugged himself off doing that, hasn't he?
34:22Shut up!
34:23That's brutal.
34:25Oh, he's coming back up.
34:26You're taking that off to him.
34:27Yeah.
34:27He won't give up.
34:28Well, he's still got to get across, man.
34:30Let's go.
34:30Yes, Dockers.
34:32Oh, he's running for it.
34:33He's running!
34:34He's not hanging about.
34:37He's going to do it now.
34:39He's going to do it.
34:40He's there.
34:41Oh, he's going to do it now.
34:41Boo!
34:44Woo!
34:44Well done, mate.
34:46Well done, mate.
34:47Well done, mate.
34:48I don't know anybody I know who would like to do that.
34:51Do you?
34:52Know anybody who'd like to do that?
34:55My brother?
34:56Apart from your brother, yes.
34:57Well, he'd been up Everest, hasn't he?
35:07Oh, Colin, right?
35:09He goes for his haircut around the corner from our house, doesn't he?
35:12Apparently, what's happened is she's got, like, this low-level treat tray.
35:16Anyway, oh, Colin's had one of the treats, only it's three for a fiver.
35:21Like, well, we've not authorised the treat.
35:24Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
35:26But Paige is non-confrontational, you see, so she went,
35:30oh, right, well, we'll pick another two, then.
35:32I'll have a tally's worth.
35:34So she said, that's how we've ended up with the cows here in me bed.
35:38Oh, well, it wouldn't be, but it's 42 quid to get his hair cut anyway.
35:4242 quid?
35:43I'm sure it is.
35:44That's with a hot foam shampoo and a turtle waxes out.
35:49This week, we were down with the kids again
35:51for the big return of Borders on the BBC.
35:54I went to Borders when I was six years old.
35:57That's how much your mother dislikes you.
35:59Exactly. I mean, it was cruel.
36:00Have you considered Borders school for Jimmy and Eva?
36:03Um, while they do do my head in it,
36:06it would be nice to get rid of them sometimes.
36:08It would not be financially viable for me to do that.
36:16It's a bit creepy, isn't it?
36:19Oh, it's this.
36:20What's happening here?
36:21Someone's breaking in.
36:23The hen house.
36:24Is that a pig?
36:25It is empty.
36:26What?
36:27The hen house is empty.
36:32Oh, my God.
36:33It's a gang.
36:34Gang of pigs.
36:36Oh, bloody hell.
36:41What are they doing?
36:42This is sacrilegious.
36:47Oh, they're not all right, aren't they?
36:51What's them?
36:53Pigs.
36:53What the hell?
36:55Muslim's worst nightmare.
37:03So what are we at?
37:05I'm dancing.
37:06I mean, the best that ever happened at my school
37:08was a very, very rich kid
37:12managed to get a helicopter, pay for it,
37:15and they put the headmaster's car on top of the chapel.
37:19Fucking hell, that's quite good.
37:20That's quite good.
37:21The headmaster came out in the morning
37:23where's my car,
37:24and it was on top of the chapel.
37:31That's St. Jisbert's.
37:34What the actual fuck?
37:37Yeah, what happened?
37:38Break in.
37:39A break in.
37:40He's got in.
37:41They're on the ball, aren't they?
37:43Everyone's saying it was an inside job.
37:44An inside job?
37:45What, really?
37:46Inside job.
37:47Well, they had keys to open it, didn't they?
37:49Oh, look at this.
37:52Posh wankers!
37:53I wonder if they've pinched the pigs from the farm.
37:56What farm?
37:57Just any farm.
37:59I feel sorry for the pigs.
38:00Is this real?
38:01No, I'm...
38:02A bit later, with St. Gilbert's on lockdown,
38:06we saw Toby hatching a plan to break out and see his girlfriend.
38:13What, are you the boogeyman?
38:14Oh, what now?
38:15How are we breaking out?
38:16Oh, she was in Corrie.
38:18I know you figured out a way to sneak out after hours to visit Abby.
38:21She was married to Tyrone!
38:24Okay, well, you heard, Carol.
38:26We're in lockdown.
38:27Hmm.
38:28Gotta stick to the rules.
38:29Hmm.
38:30Hey.
38:31Will you...
38:32Give me that back.
38:32What is that?
38:33Oh, what's in the parcel?
38:35What's the bolt cutters for?
38:38Have we got bolt cutters for?
38:39Is he really looking to sneak out, for real?
38:41Or in the fence?
38:42I feel like I'm watching, like, a kid's great escape.
38:45It's all desperate to break out for, anyway.
38:46We want revenge on Caldwell College.
38:48It was them who trashed the school.
38:51Gosh, she's a right Sherlock, isn't she?
38:53She thinks that it's Caldwell College, I think.
38:55She wants to go out and fuck their sight up.
38:58Yeah.
38:59The sign.
39:06The bolt cutters are out.
39:07It's ten o'clock.
39:08It's time to go.
39:14I love the fact he's got two flashlights.
39:16Two flashlights, we're pretending to be lightsabers.
39:23Oh, Toby, you're doing a mud tip, didn't it?
39:28What are you going to do, Tobes?
39:30He's going.
39:30He wants a shag, Simon.
39:34Studying hard.
39:36That's what I like to see.
39:37You studying hard.
39:38You're doing science, because I remember that book.
39:40Now I know you would have missed that shag.
39:44This is like Romeo and Juliet, throwing little stones at the window.
39:48What's the window, bro?
39:49Brick-free window.
39:50Babe, let me in.
39:52Lucky you, I came your way.
39:54What happened to Hi, Hello?
39:56Like, they ain't got much time, bro.
40:00They're snooking her on.
40:02My dad is in the next room, and the walls are like paper.
40:05This ain't right.
40:07What, do you want to go in the garage, then?
40:09LAUGHTER
40:13Oh.
40:14You'd at least get on the floor.
40:16Yeah.
40:17Hold on to the bed board so he doesn't squeak.
40:20Come on, kids.
40:23LAUGHTER
40:25Fuck, my dad.
40:27Hide.
40:28Hide.
40:28Under the bed.
40:29There you go.
40:34What has to be found there, though?
40:36He's gone.
40:37He can come out.
40:41No!
40:43Abby.
40:45Then pig masks!
40:47No!
40:48Oh, no!
40:50It was air!
40:51Did you trash my school?
40:52Did you trash my school?
40:54No shit, Sherlock.
40:57About sleeping with the enemy, eh?
40:59Yeah.
40:59Jeez!
41:00They're all bloody sex mad at 16.
41:03When I was 16, me and Becky Fish used to...
41:08She had one of those beds that was for, like, old people
41:10that would, like, move up and down.
41:13So we just used to play on that,
41:14listening to her black-eyed peas on her iPad.
41:16None of this shit.
41:20In home.
41:21Do you want a glass of wine, Jenny?
41:22Oh, go on, then.
41:23Yes, I will.
41:24Best friends, Jenny and Lee.
41:26Do you know, Sam?
41:27I was talking to Steve the other day on the phone.
41:29Yeah.
41:30And he was saying to me, he went,
41:32what are you drinking?
41:33And I went,
41:35oh, it's a glass of wine.
41:37And he went, do you know?
41:38And I went, Stephen, it's Saturday night.
41:40I'm having one glass of wine.
41:41Yeah.
41:41Seven o'clock.
41:42You know what I mean?
41:43Yeah.
41:44And you know what he said to me?
41:45He said,
41:47do you know alcohol is your enemy, Lee?
41:50Really?
41:51Yeah, he did.
41:52Do you know what I said to him?
41:54No.
41:54Jesus said,
41:55love your enemy.
41:56Did he?
41:56Cheers.
41:59Case closed.
42:01Am I going to get a wine tasting?
42:04Where's the wine?
42:06This week,
42:06we were off stateside on Prime Video,
42:09hoping to get a revealing look into the life of the First Lady.
42:13You're excited for this, aren't you?
42:15Well, of course I am,
42:15because I was one of the four people in England
42:17who wanted to go and see it in the cinema.
42:19When I only think three went,
42:20so you would have been the fourth?
42:21Yes.
42:22I would have been,
42:22and I very nearly did.
42:28Oh, look at the red blue top.
42:30Oh.
42:36Look, she's taking her glasses off.
42:38Oh, it's she beautiful, Lee.
42:39I always wanted to take my sunglasses off like that.
42:48Oh, no, she's on the page, aye.
42:50Happy New Year.
42:52Thank you, and I'm happy to do things.
42:53We don't get this door-to-door service.
42:55How come she hasn't had to be frisked?
42:57We always get frisked at the airport.
43:01Oh, no!
43:04Is that him?
43:05What the fuck?
43:06You can't buy a taste, can you?
43:08Everyone wants to know.
43:10So here it is,
43:1220 days in my life.
43:13Does everybody want to know?
43:15I've never actually heard her voice before.
43:17Yes, you must have done.
43:18I haven't.
43:19Family, business, philanthropy,
43:21and becoming First Lady of the United States again.
43:26Oh, all right, love.
43:27Again?
43:27All right, good help.
43:28Drop the mic.
43:29Yeah.
43:32Melania.
43:35We don't care for her, do we?
43:36We don't care.
43:38She's just there.
43:40I mean, she ain't no Michelle Obama, let's be honest.
43:43No, if it was her, yeah, I'd be watching it.
43:46We still are.
43:47That's true.
43:48The film took us behind the scenes in the lead up to a big day for Melania's husband.
43:53The inauguration is made up of four days of celebrations.
43:56Four days.
43:57Four days.
43:58Blink-in-ick.
44:00Starting with the candlelight dinner the night before the swearing-in ceremony.
44:04She had a what?
44:05A candlelight dinner?
44:09A candlelit dinner.
44:10It'll be Trump, Mandelson, Epstein, those kind of...
44:15Andrew.
44:15Those sort of people.
44:17Chef Chris's menu begins with a golden egg and caviar.
44:22As one does.
44:23And this is the first course.
44:27I know what you're thinking.
44:28Is it chubby?
44:30No, it's not.
44:31No, and do you know why it's not chubby?
44:33Because they've got money.
44:34Yes.
44:35Later, after the swearing-in ceremony, the glad rags were on and it was time to party.
44:42All of the official ceremonies are over.
44:44It is time for the inaugural balls.
44:47The inaugural balls.
44:51Oh, grumble, bastard.
44:53You said it.
44:54Yes, you did.
44:54I thought you said Niagara Falls.
44:57The Commander-in-Chief Ball for the military, the Liberty Ball and the Starlight Ball,
45:02which will be our last stop.
45:04It was a full itinerary, isn't it?
45:06Yeah.
45:13Look at that.
45:14Yeah.
45:15And they say chivalry's dead, isn't it?
45:17He, like, chucked her halfway, go fuck off, do the rest of his house.
45:19I've done my bit now.
45:21And it wasn't long before Melania and Donald were back at the White House and ready for bed.
45:26Today was so rich with meaning.
45:28And since each moment was historic and filled with purpose,
45:32time no longer mattered.
45:34What the bollocks are you talking about, Melania?
45:37And quite honestly, if it's two o'clock in the morning,
45:39you would have taken your shoes off by now.
45:42You see, if you're First Lady, you cannae have a down day
45:45when you're just in your jammies watching Law and Order SVU all day
45:49without your teeth in and your bra, can you?
45:51Well, certainly not, no.
45:51I know.
45:52Knowing that I was living a day which would be remembered forever.
45:56Not for the right reasons, though, no.
45:58Nah.
45:59I'll be honest with you, I forgot a minute.
46:01I'll see you guys tomorrow.
46:03Good night.
46:04Sweet dreams, Mr. President.
46:06Yeah.
46:06Is Melania not going with you?
46:09Oh, is he going to his own room now?
46:10Obviously.
46:11They don't sleep in the same room.
46:13Night-night, Donald.
46:14I actually feel like I know the exact same amount about Melania Trump
46:18that I did when I started watching this.
46:21Which is nothing.
46:22Yeah.
46:23It's Donald Trump's wife.
46:25That's right.
46:29Get through being handcuffed to a total stranger 24-7
46:33and there's £100,000 to be won.
46:35It's streaming now with Jonathan Ross.
46:37And £100,000 is also the prize in an adrenaline-soaked test
46:41of skill, strategy and survival.
46:43The Hunt, Prey vs Predator.
46:45It's on Sunday night from 9.
46:47Next tonight, this week is on its last legs.
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