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The.Claudia.Winkleman.Show.S01E01
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00:00This is weird because we haven't met, but I'm just going to say out loud I'm obsessed by you
00:06Everybody this is Chris. Say hello. Hi
00:10Chris does this extraordinary thing on social where he talks to birds. Who was the naughtiest bird this week?
00:18Spud the little owl. Spud the little owl?
00:23Where does Spud sleep?
00:25In her aviary. Okay, that's a shame.
00:30I'm so nervous. I just need to touch people
00:34Nice to see you. Nice to see you. You look divine. Hello. Oh, I'm going to do this with everybody
00:39get ready
00:56Hey, thank you
00:57Thank you
00:59You're so kind
01:04A huge thank you for joining us
01:06We are incredibly grateful
01:07We hope you like the colourway and approve of the carpet to be honest
01:11It is too late if you loathe
01:13We have an amazing audience and it's now time to welcome our brilliant guest
01:18He is a triple threat comedian presenter author. He's got a new book called common decency. It's Tom Allen
01:36I've been nominated for 11 Grammys and she's currently in the West End production of the devil wears Prada. It's
01:43Vanessa Williams
01:52She is the writer and star of absolutely fabulous and national treasure and she's here to talk about her new
01:59film the magic faraway tree
02:00It's Jennifer Saunders
02:10And we have got Hollywood royalty
02:13He starred in everything from jurassic park to the grand budapest hotel
02:17He's also a musician and has a new album out. It's the wonderful wizard of Oz himself Jeff Goldblum
02:39Thank you so much have a seat this is I can't believe it. Thank you for coming on the first
02:46and possibly last
02:47Oh
02:49Enjoy ourselves we'll end with the conga
02:52Can you imagine you said you said it's the last show i'll be cut to in a blink of an
02:57eye
02:5830 years from now the longest running show ever
03:08I'm going to start with this. How do you feel about the set? I think it's stunning. I'm loving i'm
03:15like i like the height
03:16Yeah, go ahead because and i like the back being here being close to the actual back. Yes, you know,
03:23they don't have back. Oh, i'm so sorry
03:29I'm basically on a buffet actually
03:32Or my parents used to have a buffet and then when I came out they suddenly changed it to the
03:36footstool
03:44Yeah, that's it's a maiden uh voyage, right? It's all all new. I would call this a hunter green possibly.
03:52Yes, correct very manly kind of uh
03:55British british screen yes hunter would you call it emerald green dark teal
04:01Would you dark white teal?
04:04Would you like to meet the woman who chose the color of the sofa?
04:08Here's the scene we go to a basement a sort of sofa workshop if you oh yeah, we all go
04:15as a gang
04:15We meet a woman called trudy we couldn't decide between two colors trudy is here trudy
04:29Trudy you chose this color did you not it was between you chose the color amongst 70 other options
04:39And we designed and made the sofa that it goes on wow well done trudy what would you call this
04:46color please
04:46I would call it a very dark teal
04:55I do think as well you guys who work in furniture shops are great
05:00It's not a furniture shop. Oh, I beg your pardon
05:05It's a boutique. I'm sorry it's a boutique. I'm sorry
05:11You don't get this with what you've got
05:14Okay, Trudy I'm sorry I wish I was dead
05:19I mean this is what I live for as a gay man being insulted by an upholsterer
05:29I
05:29The last time I bought any furniture though
05:31I went in to buy a mattress and I walked into the shop and the woman said hi, I'm Faye
05:35and I went oh my god
05:39Good mattress a deep one I hope you know what buying a mattress is complicated
05:43Have you ever bought one I bet you've not bought one you're a hollywood star you don't buy furniture
05:48You have to buy a mattress for lifetime
05:51Yeah, that's what they say always invest in a good bed or good shoes. Yeah, because if you're not in
05:55one you're in the other
06:00And we went and then she was like and she said you gotta lie lie on it lie on the
06:04bed lie on it
06:05Like they put down that plastic sheet as though it's going to be so comfortable. I'm going to immediately piss
06:09myself
06:11So I'm sliding all over the place and and then she gets on the bed next to me
06:16What I know and then she said a cuddle for it basically and then she said how do you sleep
06:20which sounds sort of accusatory?
06:23Something you shout at people in court is that how do you sleep?
06:26And I said well, I don't know. I'm usually asleep and she said well, are you supported? I said I've
06:30got some very good friends
06:35And then before I went she said and and do you have nightstands and I said well that is absolutely
06:40none of your business
06:46That's what I think
06:49Explain that joke to me because
06:52You sound like my audience, Deb
06:54It's going to be a long night guys
06:55The double meaning of that of course is a nightstand next to the bed the piece of furniture truity
06:59Yeah
06:59But is nightstand because I think it's a britishism is the double entendre which is french for fish of the
07:05day, I think
07:07Is uh a nightstand is that is that like a like a one night uh again counter a one night
07:13encounter?
07:14Yeah, we don't say that in america
07:15I've never had a nightstand
07:17I thought you just meant an erection
07:18Do you know what I thought of many things this way it was going to go
07:24I didn't think we'd be here with three minutes
07:26Not so quickly not so quickly not so fast
07:29Okay, you two vanessa and jennifer you are linked by a hairdresser
07:39There's a battle tonight because sven does both of us you booked him first
07:43Well, babes
07:46He's got a lot more work to do
07:49It started this morning
07:51He's very creative
07:53I haven't known spend that long of six years
07:55I miss those days talking about a hairdresser
08:02Jeff I would love to talk to you about your album look at this
08:07Thank you
08:11Thank you
08:12It's and isn't that beautiful?
08:15Do you think so really well fontana you know are great and my other people my
08:21Friends uh helped me do that the the graphics of it I do like it
08:24Night blooms is the name of it it's a kind of a companion piece to our other
08:28I rather fourth album which was still blooming you get the connection
08:33And um I love this album very much it's jazz you know we play jazz we're called jeff goldblum
08:39In the mildred schnitzer orchestra and just to name a few
08:42How many in the orchestra?
08:45Five
08:45Two
08:45Oh
08:46That was a joke I made a joke
08:48But last year the baftas I had the honor of playing during the in memoriam section
08:53Oh
08:54I played on the piano with their orchestra um you must remember as time goes by
08:59Oh, I thought it was ding dong the witch is dead
09:04Don't even
09:06No, that's macabre
09:08Uh, no, it was it was uh, you know, it was uh as time goes by that beautiful song and
09:13we liked it so much
09:14That on this next album I sing a little bit of it and I play some more and there's an
09:18And there's an orchestra on this one which brings me by the way you may you brought you triggered something
09:23else in me just now
09:24This is lovely
09:25Um ding dong which is dead cynthia arrivo the great cynthia arrivo amazing and I on this next album with
09:32strings and a big band do a
09:35Newfangled version of um if I only had a brain
09:44So and many other surprises, but but thank you for bringing it up
09:48I'm very crazy about this album
09:50We have a clip of you playing not a song from this album, but I believe the last one, but
09:54it's fantastic. Okay
10:05Oh
10:20Isn't it lovely
10:22It's so lovely
10:25You see
10:26I'll tell you they love it
10:30You were you played when you were young I love this story
10:33I don't know if it's true and used to phone restaurants just saying I hear you need a pianist
10:37Can you imagine when you were really like 15?
10:40I was sort of I had some moxie or something like that and I was full of beans
10:44And even though around 10 years old after my dad said if you find something you love to do
10:47That may be a vocational guidepost and I've set my
10:52Heart to an acting career but around the same time I was taking and had fallen in love with jazz
10:57and the piano
10:57And I thought I was being clever and looked at the phone book and called cocktail lounges around pittsburgh
11:03I was 15 I think at that point and said hey, I hear you need a pianist
11:07They'd said no, we don't know what you're talking about. Who's this? No, no, we don't like never mind
11:10But a couple of people said we have a piano come over and play it
11:13I got a couple of gigs that way and my parents would drive me to the thing and I started
11:17to play
11:18It's almost the seed of what this has become. Yeah, like that, you know
11:23exactly
11:27I have become slightly obsessed with your wife because she sometimes performs with you. We have a clip
11:35She's spectacular. Here we go. She's
11:37This is emily look look that's emily
11:42Isn't she amazing she's and she was in the olympics
11:47She emily goldblum for heaven's sakes whom I met at the gym 14 years ago
11:52She was doing something like that. I won't want to go and said what are you doing? Look at that.
11:56That's at the world famous
11:57I don't think anyone's listening to you
11:59Good point. It's at the troubadour. You know the troubadour. Yes. We performed we did three sold-out. She's amazing
12:08We did three sold-out shows there and emily who was in the olympics doing rhythmic gymnastics
12:14She was that year that she went to sydney and did that she was the pan-american champion
12:18She was the best of that in north south america. She's fantastic. She's still a world-class athlete as you
12:24can see she's doing that
12:25We did that a month ago at the troubadour
12:30Anyway, that's emily
12:31It's just like looking at me at home
12:35So how do you compete with that you know when you go home and one of you says i'll put
12:39some toast in and does four cartwheels and puts it in with her
12:42Her toes she does every every move is a is quite a picture
12:46She's astounding but yes, but you can also do something rather wonderful. Well, I do this. It's not a little
12:53bit activity yet
12:54I can wiggle my ears, but one at a time watch
13:00This ready. Yeah
13:13Jeff you've started obviously in oscar-nominated wicked the biggest musical film
13:18In recent memory
13:23And this is my favorite thing. I don't know whether this is true
13:26But please say it is that occasionally you would look down the lens
13:31And speak directly to the editor and say I like that take or is that true?
13:36Yes, I would do takes I was trying to do a good job and sometimes
13:39As was my want to do I think is the phrase I would after it take I would go
13:45And he would go and cut okay
13:48Jeff says myron karystein. That's uh, that's I say that's that's a good one
13:53Just so you know our editors called steve. He's happy with any notes you have
13:58That's your camera over there if you said something that you're particularly proud of you just say steve add
14:04Yes, I think I've been lively tonight steve and I say any
14:08Any genuine moment that especially I like the spontaneous ones
14:13Yes, where there's a real connection which I've felt strongly with us so I say so far anything is uh
14:19good for the show
14:20Fine
14:20Thank you
14:22Steve will take that
14:23Good steve
14:24Um
14:24I trust you completely steve
14:26We all trust steve
14:27Um you are going on tour
14:29Yes ma'am
14:30You're going to start in wolverhampton
14:32Oh, I love the hamptons
14:34Oh
14:35I'm starting in the hamptons
14:37You know this was all arranged you know
14:40Uh for us
14:42I don't
14:43I don't know how many how many how many how many how many how many towns are you doing?
14:46We're doing they're doing a few you know
14:48We've been to glastonbury and several you know the last several years and ronnie scott's we've played all over the
14:53place
14:53Would you like to know more about wolverhampton?
14:56Maybe the eateries you should go to if there's a statue a small aquarium. I believe cory is here. Hello.
15:03Hi, cory. Hello
15:04You you've been to wolverhampton. I am from wolverhampton. Okay, so jeff's there for a couple of days
15:09Let's give him a full schedule. I'd like it laminated. Where should we go?
15:14jeff what you should do is you should get off the train in wolverhampton immediately get back on and leave
15:29A couple of hours, okay, is there somewhere delicious? No, it's great. Wolverhampton's absolutely great. We have uh, we have
15:36a nando's
15:37a white
15:37chicken
15:41There's always something to do. Well, yes, no, I love going around britain on tour always a little museum. There's
15:49a pencil museum
15:50Yes, very interested in what do you mean? I love pencils. There's a lot of shop mannequins
15:58What's your pencil of choice number? I used to I used to once I go to my criminal period when
16:04I was
16:05Eight or nine fine. I stole yeah other kids pencil. We had those desks that went like that
16:11Yes, you know when everybody was going out in a line
16:13I'd be the last one and I'd wait behind
16:15And I'd open up desks and I'd steal their pencils
16:18I hoarded and collected pencils until one day somebody went jeffrey has all our pencils and
16:24Then it was very embarrassing and I've I'm cured. I'm a very honest
16:28Honest no stealing because the way you're facing it up at the sound of a pencil music. I hope there
16:34is a pencil museum now
16:36Do you like a classic hb?
16:38Do you like ones that you can?
16:40No, I don't like a mechanical pencil
16:43I'm very particular with my ballpoint pen can I throw this into the mix?
16:48Because this is going to blow your mind
16:50There is a woman here in this room who designs
16:55pencils
17:04Amy are you here?
17:06Amy tell me what you do with pencils and and stationary all round
17:12So I've developed new types of pencils
17:15Develop new types of pencils
17:17Do you because we don't want to upset him because he's our very special guest do you do the
17:24pencils we have one
17:26Well, I'm open-minded, but I don't like them
17:30What's the best thing if that's not too much pressure that you have ever designed so our
17:36Best pencil is the drawing pencil which has the creamiest. Oh, it's creamy
17:42It's the creamiest pencil and has the widest core does that mean the lead that goes through it?
17:49Yes, is there a pencil museum because I'm did I make it up there is it's in the lake district
17:54Lake district are you going to the lake district?
17:56I'm now
17:59I'm going
18:02Thank you, Amy, how brilliant you're here let's have a round of applause for Amy
18:08Can I say you know what you remind me of the other you the touring around england in plays you
18:15all know that play
18:15I'm sure the dresser. Oh, yeah
18:21And then anthony hopkins and ian mckellen redid it in a remake. Ian mckellen made me eggs
18:27What?
18:29Scramble
18:32Little salmon on the side yes
18:35Lovely
18:38Did you get a seat now sit down sit down
18:41In a proper proper dining table yeah, just the two of you just no no no it was a group
18:48of people gosh
18:49Did you do all the eggs at once or did it in person?
18:52Personally that's very bespoke
18:54I love that
18:55I tell you that's how you get the night
18:57I had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon this morning
19:04Guys about two hours ago we started talking about night blooms
19:08And I would just like to lift this up and say when when is it out june 5th there we
19:13go
19:14Brilliant
19:18No, you are amazing
19:20Um jennifer we have to talk about your film the magic for our wait
19:24Well, you're saying my film i'm in the film no, it's your okay, let's have a clip
19:30It's just like you said it's enchanted and wonderful
19:33Dad and i just felt like a place like this i'm gonna bring us all back together again
19:38Grandma i will get them back to the city if it is the last thing i do
19:41I'm sorry guys better start packing
19:46You wish to cross the lands to locate a spell to save your house from your evil grandma
19:54We know all of this you know all that because we just told you it all right no need to
19:59get shirty
20:05It's just a lovely film
20:08How much fun was it to me just so much fun gone a great wig
20:12I was going to say your hair was a really good wig we just have a look at freedom
20:17Oh my god look at this wig look at there she is
20:21That's the hair i want
20:22I love the fact that you're flapping
20:23I want that hair
20:25I mean nothing
20:26You see nothing it's so thick and it just stays in that shape
20:30I love it because now you see this is sven most of this is there's a most of a sort
20:36of a nun's hair has been woven into in sort of extensions that uh you really know nuns sell their
20:42hair and get
20:43made into extensions they do
20:46Do they really yeah they sell what for money
20:49Nuns sell their hair don't yeah thank you thank you
20:52I'm disagreeing because it's jennifer whatever she said
20:56Um i but i love the accent i love everything about freedom how did she how was she created
21:01because i thought it was a small part i wouldn't have to do very much and but they said will
21:05you come in
21:06for rehearsal and i went yeah of course and it was with andrew garfield and claire foy
21:10and the children and i thought oh this is quite this big time you know because you sort of been
21:16grappled
21:16into this big movie and um i thought i better i better try hard but i had no idea what
21:23was going
21:23to come out of my mouth when i first opened my mouth and i thought you know i might go
21:28a little
21:28bit danish because i can make
21:31because i can make the danish noises you know the ticket yes it's almost fluent yes
21:42yeah so i put a little inflection of danish into when i read the part and when we finished they
21:49went we love the german and i went no i said i was sort of more j no german's good
21:56german's good i thought
21:56damn yeah i had to do the whole i had to learn a german accent then and do the whole
22:01thing in german
22:02but it gave me the character yes it's lovely so lovely you guys are so good at accents the preparedness
22:08that you've given you've been given in in schools is amazing and you have to show up for you say
22:15what
22:15i'm not training you you're not right it's extraordinary i mean they can throw on an american accent
22:21immediately and like refine it so it's midwestern there's a new york what period time period is
22:27but also do all these other ones it's really i'm very impressed i admire that terrific i admire
22:32you're a great artist you are can you do a london accent not really
22:39i want to talk more about the film because the location is so beautiful tell me you were
22:50somewhere we were in a very lovely part of the countryside um and near a wood near a wood
22:58because it is called the magic faraway tree it is about a tree that's magic and very far away
23:02you don't know where it was i don't know where it was i think it was in a studio but
23:07there we are never
23:09mind um there is somebody here because i believe you also have a place in the countryside yes there
23:17is there is somebody who lives i think in your neck of the woods and would is that scary slightly
23:24they go on they do something rather magical in my hood it's i believe it is in your hood okay
23:30anna
23:30hello what have you done this week so my neighbours and i have been helping toads cross the road to
23:36prevent them getting squashed by the cars as they're migrating to their pond to breed and we've had i
23:42think we've helped about a thousand toads in the last few weeks wow a thousand toads
23:46save a thousand toads save a thousand toads wow are you are you is it like directing like like signs
23:58no
23:58no signposts no signposts so i have my head torch and my gloves and a bucket and we pick them
24:04up off
24:05the road we put them in the bucket and we help them to get to the gate near the pond
24:09so they're not
24:10going to be on the road have you thought about building i don't know a tunnel do they say i
24:17know
24:17this is a word question but i've committed to it do they say thank you no but they have the
24:22most
24:23beautiful little chirping sound you can hear them when it's a really quiet evening you can hear them
24:28kind of chirping chirping chirping in the pond and they're really amazing they're very sweet very very good hey
24:38hey do you know the end of that pt anderson movie who did this year's one battle after another
24:43oh yeah i know yeah of course magnolia magnolia where all the toads or frogs you know come
24:50we fall from spoiler alert jeff spoiler alert that happens right at the end steve steve if you feel cut
24:56that into one animal oh what would it be i would save a horse would you yes well i'd need
25:10the hair
25:10for my extensions i'd have to be chopping off yes i think for the hair because for the hooves yeah
25:17for
25:18the mental health what would you say you know what none of them i think you know people say oh
25:29it's
25:29so relaxing to go and spend time in nature but you look closely all they're doing is eating each other
25:35it's disgusting you watch those david attenborough films horrifying people love it don't they put it
25:41on while they're having their tea a lion ripping a gazelle to shreds you know they fall asleep
25:48while they're watching a dolphin drown a whale horrible why would you save any of them i think
25:55the sooner we get rid of them the better
26:01i just think you know yeah yeah it's a different view that's and i think that's what this show is
26:07about correct it's very it's like question time but for drunk celebrities
26:16okay jennifer when can we see the magic faraway tree i think it's out on march the 27th correct
26:23yes we can't wait we'll all go
26:31vanessa i have to talk to you about the devil wears prada i went on friday every seat is full
26:37and
26:37they are screaming and when you come up the most beautiful thing people are like i was sitting next
26:43to somebody who was like in tears screaming standing up it's a thing it's like a rock concert yeah
26:49describe the show just for anyone who doesn't know well uh there's a young girl named andy sax who is
26:55a
26:55journalist based on a true story and um she lives in new york she applies for a job at runway
27:02magazine which
27:03is a very famous fashion magazine aka vogue and she has no idea who miranda priestly is nor her
27:10reputation and she gets the job as the assistant and now they're doing a sequel to the movie i know
27:17so who knows what's going to happen wow there's much excitement let's have a clip of the devil wears
27:24oh my god what if i don't want this life everybody wants to be us
27:46that's all
27:47that's all
27:53what a fun role to play you must love it it's it's fun i can show up and be in
27:58a bad mood and
27:59not care because i can just be miserable the whole time yeah and it doesn't matter just makes the
28:04role better but you know i i have to say it's i i love this country and i got a
28:10chance to meet the king
28:11like you know i've done things not just as a tourist and not just as a working actor but
28:17these extraordinary experiences you know i did the royal variety show i mean it's it's been it's been
28:23heaven how much fun was it working with elton oh my god i mean not only is he a legend
28:29and you know
28:30growing up listening to his music and going to his house in windsor again stop another opportunity that
28:35uh you know a normal tourist would never get you know oh i don't know
28:43you are living the life he he's so honest that's what i love about him he's so frank
28:49and the first time i met him we were uh doing the workshop in january 2024 and he had just
28:55had his
28:56first knee surgery and i walked into the rehearsal room and his sweats were down by his ankles and he
29:02was showing everybody his scar but all i saw was his bum's like yeah okay good yeah we're gonna be
29:08friends um what about the dressing rooms the difference between broadway if you like and the west end
29:13on broadway you can uh choose your well you can choose your paint color and and rug yeah stop yeah
29:20yeah
29:20dark teal yes yeah is that coffee mocha mocha i don't like colors being called after drinks that's the
29:39pretty good
29:41nice cone well cognac is beautiful to drink obviously but um yeah we
29:46just had an old fashion before we came on
29:49good girl um this is what i love vanessa i'm just sharing this with the group you have something
29:57rather special on your rider and it is a dog now I agree when you look at
30:03Vanessa beautiful that's live absolutely gorgeous that bone structure you think
30:08small a little like a powder puff of a dog on a top of cushion yeah ladies and
30:14gentlemen meet Roscoe yeah
30:26wow
30:27comes every show yeah he's got his giant bed next to my he's amazing yeah he's
30:35a great day he's a great day I had a great day I remember his name but Roscoe
30:47like Roscoe chicken and waffles I love Roscoe chicken and waffles go Lee Brown
30:51you didn't know Roscoe Lee Brown I know he was but it wasn't what's going on
30:58for Wilson play I want my ham I want my ham trains two trains running I saw
31:04Roscoe Brown anyway it does it does feel sometimes like I'm in a nursing home
31:19there was this talk of this Roscoe fella that nobody knew except you guys knew
31:23I'm doing very well chicken and waffles and the dog and the bit of the cognac
31:30I'm older than I realize
31:34so to be clear Roscoe you have Woody you love your dog we have Woody so we have three dogs
31:40you have a dog of course I have a dog I breastfeed him
31:43I know I do Tom you I believe you're on the fence regarding a dog
31:51I would love a dog but I worry about having a dog because I'm away a lot and they're
31:56obviously a big responsibility but I would like a dog shall we tip the scales
31:59yeah I'd like that to meet a dog oh my god please welcome Percy
32:06oh
32:09no way
32:11come on Percy
32:12come on Percy
32:16this is Heather who owns Percy look how can you not
32:20I will I will
32:22what do you think
32:23I love him
32:24I gave him a biscuit so he's happy
32:26oh look Percy loves you
32:29hang on I feel like this isn't fair you've got treats for him he's never
32:32oh Percy would you like a little treat
32:35lively
32:36come on then
32:37come on
32:38sit on this is Tom
32:39no he's more interested in you
32:41this is the story of my life
32:42I mean he's just yet God's time to do
32:43come on
32:45seven
32:45don't spill
32:46seven
32:47look he's taken to you look at that
32:49he's taken to you
32:53you want to come and live with me
32:56I don't know whether you can take this dog
32:59he's your dog
33:00he's your dog
33:01okay he needs to leave
33:02thank you so much
33:03thank you Percy
33:04thank you Heather
33:04nice to meet you
33:06yes you're right
33:07hi Percy
33:08you got attached to it already
33:10what do you think
33:11I don't think he actually like me that much
33:13don't take it on lightly
33:14unless you can commit to a lifelong
33:17responsibility
33:18you're right
33:18and I spend a lot of money on furniture
33:20so will they
33:21I don't want them weeing up against it
33:23thank you so much
33:25so Vanessa
33:26Devil Wears Prada is on
33:27until when and where please
33:30we are at the Dominion Theatre
33:32I am going to be there till October 17th
33:35and the show will run
33:36definitely until next year
33:38okay
33:38thank you
33:46I commit right now to attend every show until you're out of it
33:49I'm going to be in every show
33:50when you're not in Wolverhampton
33:52having a chicken wrap
33:55Tom
33:56you are going to musical theatre
33:57you're about to star in Titanic
33:59indeed
34:00and I'm very
34:02there we go
34:03that set sail
34:04it is
34:06tell us all about it
34:08well it is the most extraordinary show
34:11I saw it when it first opened over here
34:12it started in America
34:14it's like the most ridiculous retelling of the film Titanic
34:18and it's as though Celine Dion was actually on board
34:21the ship of dreams
34:22and she got drunk
34:24and this is how she remembers the story of Titanic
34:26and it's told through her songs
34:28so Celine Dion is the narrator in the show
34:32so that's kind of bonkers enough as it is
34:34and then added on to that
34:36is you've got people like me
34:37who play you know Rose the Kate Winslet character
34:40her mother is Ruth
34:42and that's played by me
34:43so
34:44and not really in period dress at all
34:47just I have an Alice band on with some birds attached to it
34:49don't ask why I just enjoy it
34:51and it's just such bonkers fun
34:53we're all coming
34:54well I think you would all love it
34:56I think there's something about it that's just kind of
34:58out of this world
34:58it's just joy
34:59just joy for a couple of hours
35:01can't wait
35:01where's it on?
35:02it's on at the Criterion Theatre
35:05and I'm in it until the 12th of April
35:07but it's booking through until
35:08until June
35:09we can't wait to sit
35:10thank you
35:11thank you one person
35:14he is coming
35:17Tom is it true that your theatre is haunted?
35:20well they say there's a man in the circle
35:23who sometimes walks across
35:24and I thought I saw him
35:25but it turned out it was just the lighting man
35:29I think there are stories about him
35:31but the more you look for him
35:32I think the less he's going to appear
35:34right? it's like it's like a husband
35:36isn't it?
35:38yeah there's supposed to be one in the dominion
35:40her name is Eleanor
35:41she was like 10 years old
35:43and there used to be some giant beer
35:46vat or some kind of brewery
35:48in the in the bottom
35:49and there was an explosion
35:50and beer apparently flooded that whole Tottenham Court area
35:54and this was a young girl that died in this flood of beer
35:58and she is a ten-year-old girl
36:02absolute drunk
36:05stumbling to the hallway
36:06stumbling around
36:09the Drury Lane Theatre used to be just the bottom half of a man sitting in a seat sometimes
36:15no
36:15yes
36:17would you like to chat to somebody who converses with ghosts?
36:20yes
36:21yes
36:22Maxine
36:23hello
36:24hello
36:25what is your advice to Tom?
36:27he's going to be performing, singing
36:30he looks up to the circle
36:32should he bow?
36:33what happens when you see
36:34when you see them?
36:35I think if you want to see this ghost
36:38you can ask
36:40I mean they will reveal themselves to you
36:43spirit
36:43you are
36:44when you say reveal themselves
36:45as in show
36:48as in show their spirit body
36:51oh my goodness
36:53should I be on my own when I ask?
36:55well I don't think that matters really
36:57doesn't the ghost of
36:58it doesn't matter
36:59I just think the cleaner is sometimes there so
37:03how brave are you feeling?
37:04are you happy to see them if they appear in front of you?
37:07well I suppose how do you know if they're if they're a malevolent spirit
37:10or a happy spirit?
37:11well you know you're a good chap aren't you
37:18you're the kind of person that's not got a good energy yourself
37:22you know you're you're kind of an evil person you're acting in
37:26no
37:26no he's very childish
37:27no I know I know
37:28but if you were you can then attract beings that aren't so nice
37:33well it seems like a lot of pressure now
37:36will you let us know please?
37:39well I will but not if it's a bad spirit
37:41because it will reflect terribly badly on me
37:43it will be like a parent a parent's evening like
37:46I did my best
37:49when was the last time you spoke to a spirit?
37:53yesterday
37:53I did a reading for somebody and I see them and they talk to me
37:58wow
37:58is there anyone here?
38:00I'm not working right now and I think that's the misconception
38:02oh I like the way you just clock on and clock on
38:06there you go
38:06thank you Maxine let's hear it for Maxine
38:13fantastic
38:13do you like that movie Cultivate?
38:15it's a union thing I get it it's a union thing
38:18it's a union thing
38:19hey you know in this life you've turned it to an angle
38:22you know who you look like?
38:23go on
38:24very young handsome John Travolta
38:26yes
38:26correct
38:28correct
38:29wow
38:30correct
38:31until I was just sitting here a moment ago
38:33when you were talking to the spirit lady
38:34yes
38:35oh my goodness and I was possessed by the spirit
38:38of John Travolta since he shaved his head
38:43Tom you have also written a very brilliant book
38:46oh
38:46it's a novel
38:47your first novel
38:49my first novel yes
38:50common decency tell us all about it please
38:53well I've written two non-fiction books about myself
38:55and this is the first time I've created a world
38:58and some characters to inhabit it
39:00and I wanted to write about suburbia
39:02because I think it's sort of boring place that everybody ignores
39:05but actually I've realised that's where all drama happens
39:09but it's about the sort of secrets and lies that exist
39:11in our kind of otherwise quite mundane lives
39:14so I wanted to
39:15I just I like the idea of kind of
39:16well I live in suburbia now
39:18I live in Bromley which is kind of archetype police suburban
39:20and I like
39:21and I'm on a WhatsApp group
39:22and I've come to love all those trappings
39:24of you know people on
39:25do you have a WhatsApp group
39:26you know any with your neighbours
39:27oh where they all like
39:28you know it's supposed to be to help your neighbours
39:30but it's just you know
39:31a load of you know
39:32idiots shouting nonsense into the wind
39:34and how often do you do you ever post
39:37and if you do
39:37no I just like to watch it
39:38the only time I like it is when people say they're putting out
39:40furniture on their driveway
39:41something which I like to call street tapas
39:47I love that!
39:48I like
39:49you know
39:52but I like the sort of community aspect of it
39:54I've always enjoyed that kind of thing of it all
39:57I'm loving your face James
39:58oh you love to run over those toads
40:03you put your foot down
40:05oh
40:07you do WhatsApp groups
40:09I
40:09I can't
40:10WhatsApp groups are the bane of my life
40:13Really?
40:14I can't bear them
40:14can you like
40:15do you like a WhatsApp group?
40:16I like one of the family
40:17I like this one
40:18just my family is enough
40:20Yes
40:20but then when they start having private conversations
40:22within the WhatsApp group
40:24Disgusting
40:25you then get a ping
40:26and it's just a fucking emoji
40:28I just can't bear them
40:30Yeah
40:31Unless it's family
40:32Family is fine
40:34and if it's if you've got one thing
40:36like it's a holiday
40:37or whatever
40:37and then it's got its purpose
40:39but don't mince about within it
40:41Fine
40:42Keep it strict
40:43Fine
40:44I like it
40:47There's a character in your book
40:50that I love
40:51Oh
40:51called Miranda
40:52Oh yes
40:53Well I've tried to write about different generations as well
40:56because again I like the way that people mix
40:58in the best part
40:59in the best parts of suburbia
41:01and Miranda is somebody who's
41:03whose true past isn't really known
41:05however she is a
41:06somebody who
41:07even though she's in her 80s
41:09wants to experience all of life
41:10she's had a
41:10bucket list
41:11and now she has a different sort of list
41:13You can say it
41:14her fuck it list
41:15and that includes things like taking acid
41:17because I just sort of think
41:19if I make it to an old age
41:22rather than sort of going out with a whimper
41:24wouldn't it be great
41:25to experience acid
41:28or to try all those things you never thought you could try before
41:31why not
41:31Dawn and I
41:32my friend Dawn French and I
41:34once thought we'd be really daring
41:36and we got an ecstasy tablet
41:38Oh goodness me
41:39and we thought we could take
41:40well I think it was something with a rabbit on it
41:43it was about that big
41:45and we thought one day
41:47I said well be alone
41:48and then it became such a matter of planning
41:50as to when we could take half
41:54an ecstasy tablet
41:55and so we kept it and kept it on Dawn's mantelpiece like that
42:00and then one day
42:01this is about six months later
42:02and we've gone
42:03okay right
42:03we're ready
42:04we have water
42:05we have
42:06we didn't know what to expect
42:08at all
42:09the pill had gone
42:10no
42:13your dog was looking lively that day
42:17and it was quite a relief
42:18yeah
42:18thank god we don't do that anymore
42:20yeah
42:21no drugs for us
42:22the dog was out in the garden
42:23jumping up and down
42:26having sex with the dragon
42:29this brilliant book is out when please
42:31it's out on the 21st of May
42:33and you can pre-order it right now
42:34am I allowed to give this to Jeff?
42:36I won't keep it
42:37I'm not keeping it
42:38it's like the puppy dog
42:38really
42:39here tell me when to stop
42:40uh
42:42there
42:42left or right?
42:44left
42:44uh tell me when to stop
42:47now
42:48uh
42:48we all need to discuss the planning application of course
42:52interrupted Donald
42:53I assume that's what this is all about
42:55we are going to need to take action if the rumors are true
42:58about changing the area
43:00I love it
43:01there you go
43:04there are definitely moments of exposition you have to realize
43:07you have to cover it
43:08right
43:09that is it
43:10I just want to check
43:12do you feel like you've covered everything?
43:14is there anything you want to sell a bit harder?
43:18I don't want to sell anything more but I have not covered even the tip of the iceberg
43:23no
43:24Jeff I've got to go night night
43:26I never thought I'd say that to a guest
43:28not tonight at another occasion
43:29no please
43:30because my curiosity has been inflamed
43:32this is amazing
43:33by this audience
43:34by you
43:34by this group
43:36my god
43:36Tom
43:37anything else?
43:38I went to buy rotisserie chicken yesterday for lunch
43:42and they sold out before lunchtime
43:45who is having a registry chicken for breakfast
43:49some people are perverts
43:52well thank you all
43:53we are so grateful
43:55we are off to eat salami
43:57happy with that?
43:58good
43:58I would like to thank my utterly brilliant guests
44:01Tom Allen
44:04Fillion
44:04Fillion
44:05Vanessa Williams
44:07Jennifer Saunders
44:08Fillion
44:10and Jess Boblum
44:13we are back next week
44:15next week
44:16respectingPS
44:17the
44:25make-over challenge goes Olympic RuPaul's
44:29drag race UK vs. The world
44:31next on BBC One, and it's all about sisterhood in their chaotic family.
44:36Meet the Walsh sisters on BBC iPlayer. Press red now.
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