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00:00:14Hey sexy, mind if I take a shower?
00:00:17It's gonna fog up my mirror.
00:00:19How about I wipe a little spot on the shower door and then you can sneak a peek?
00:00:23Wipe two spots.
00:00:25One for the fun zone and then do another one for your face.
00:00:28Yeah, deal.
00:00:46And it's a great property but I over leverage myself.
00:00:50I might have to sell it at a loss and it's hitting all my failure buttons.
00:00:54I'm sorry, are you okay?
00:00:55Yeah, I took my meds but they don't always kick in the way they used to.
00:01:00If it bothers you I can put my hand in my lap and I'll cover it with this blanket.
00:01:06But then I'd look like I'm pleasuring myself to your financial troubles.
00:01:13Sorry if it's a distraction.
00:01:26What are you in for?
00:01:29Parkinson's. You?
00:01:30Just haircut.
00:01:34I deserve more of a laugh than that.
00:01:36Sorry.
00:01:37I'm just going through it today.
00:01:39You look good.
00:01:39Your voice is firm.
00:01:41Makes you sound wise.
00:01:42Yeah, I am quite wise.
00:01:44How's your balance?
00:01:46Not bad.
00:01:47The stupid exercises help.
00:01:49Yeah, I fall three times a day.
00:01:51I'm thinking I'd take it up stunt work.
00:01:55Paul.
00:01:56Jerry.
00:01:57I had mild tremor.
00:01:59I would kill that fucking tremor like that.
00:02:01Yeah, well, I get real stiff.
00:02:04And my left side hurts all the time.
00:02:07I tell my girlfriend that sex helps but she's a doctor.
00:02:11So she knows I'm full of shit.
00:02:13That's a tough break.
00:02:15I feel stupid complaining to you.
00:02:19Oh, please.
00:02:20We're all the same shitty train to Saksville.
00:02:23How's the brain?
00:02:24Any hallucinations?
00:02:26No.
00:02:26Thank God.
00:02:27They're the worst.
00:02:29Bad enough your body goes but then you start seeing shit.
00:02:32It's scary.
00:02:32I didn't know that was the thing with Parkinson's.
00:02:34Although one time I saw a helly berry in the bathtub with me.
00:02:38Another time it was my mom.
00:02:40So, good and bad.
00:02:42Unless your mom's really hot.
00:02:43Well dad says she was a bobcat in the sack.
00:02:48Enough whining.
00:02:49I'm still here so fuck Parkinson's.
00:02:52Yeah.
00:02:54Okay.
00:02:55You're gonna say it to me to...
00:02:57Jerry, I'll grab you in a minute.
00:02:59Paul?
00:03:00You ready?
00:03:09Fuck Parkinson's.
00:03:11Fuck Parkinson's.
00:03:16What the fuck?
00:03:16I was here first.
00:03:18I gotta face it, Jimmy.
00:03:20The end of my life's gonna be hard.
00:03:22And I can either be a self-pitying shithead or I could suck the marrow out of what's left of
00:03:30this amazing life.
00:03:32No more living in why me land.
00:03:35I kinda like why me land.
00:03:37Spent a couple years there recently.
00:03:39It's nice.
00:03:41Well anyway, that's my new philosophy.
00:03:43Fuck Parkinson's.
00:03:45Catchy.
00:03:46Fuck Parkinson's.
00:03:48Fuck Parkinson's.
00:03:49Fuck it right in the face.
00:03:50Don't fuck my disease in the face, Jimmy.
00:03:53We'll see.
00:03:55But I need a favor.
00:03:58Keep me in check.
00:04:00If you see me sinking, pull me up.
00:04:07I know that's a lot to ask.
00:04:09Paul.
00:04:11I have leaned on you so much.
00:04:15I'm just grateful I get the chance to pay you back even a little.
00:04:21That said, I still don't understand why it means I have to ride next to you in a sports car
00:04:25while you drive like a lunatic.
00:04:30Are you coming or not?
00:04:31Just because I'm not allowed on the streets doesn't mean I can't do it.
00:04:35We are.
00:04:38We are.
00:04:40We are.
00:04:41We are.
00:04:42We are.
00:04:43We are.
00:04:43Oh.
00:04:43Oh.
00:04:44We are.
00:04:45You have a fight?
00:04:47Oh, good.
00:04:48Paul slow down.
00:04:50Paul, this is triggering.
00:04:51My wife died in a car, Paul.
00:04:53Come on.
00:04:54Relax.
00:04:56Aaaaaah!
00:04:58Help me carry this weight.
00:05:01That's dragging me down.
00:05:03Pull me out of the trombone.
00:05:04dream before i start to drown let the wreckage all sink to when the fishes are frightening
00:05:12i want to hear myself think again i want to hear myself think again
00:05:28baby sorry i ran out of creamer because i didn't feel like getting it
00:05:31also last night when you were sleeping let's see how do i say this um you started screaming like a
00:05:38little bitch what's the deal you know come on no no really like what is it okay um when i
00:05:46was 10
00:05:46i threw a pine cone at a crow in my yard and needless to say he was pissed and he
00:05:53would dive
00:05:54bomb me every time i went to the bus stop like every time you know crows hold grudges i did
00:05:59not
00:05:59but this is already the best story i've ever heard yeah so i have this recurring nightmare that
00:06:04he's gonna find me and me up what so you think he's gonna like rip out your eyes he'll probably
00:06:09just take one eye that way you'll be able to see him smile while he eats it i'm so glad
00:06:13i shared this
00:06:14with you i know i'm sorry baby i love you i love you hmm what maybe what did you not
00:06:21hear the way
00:06:22you said i love you just now yeah i sound normal you sound like morpheus try it again
00:06:27i love you oh wow and just keep your calves like love you love you
00:06:39there's racist pam i have to do something so she knows i hate her trust me everyone you hate
00:06:44is already well aware you hate them well you do something so she knows you hate her too
00:06:50like what i mean how many dicks can i tell her to eat at this point it's redundant we're getting
00:06:55closer think of something good morning that was the sexiest thing i've ever seen you want to go home
00:07:05and have a quick oh sure all right come on let's go done look at me building shed so mask
00:07:14is it turning
00:07:15you on it would be if you were doing it correctly come on there's nothing more mask than confidently
00:07:20doing something incorrectly unless i was like standing by a grill and simultaneously overcooking
00:07:26undercooking sausages
00:07:31yo pops yeah i put some extra peppers in that bag for graham and i'll see y'all at sunday
00:07:37dinner where
00:07:38you off to he's got a booty call that's he knows what a booty call is geez man i'm in
00:07:44my 40s oh so is
00:07:45she oh older the berry sweeter the juice sometimes i miss when we weren't talking ah
00:08:00huge news you found my last pair of clean boxers what no no the wesleyan soccer coach is coming
00:08:06to my next game to watch me play wow yeah that's exciting too hey bingo good news keeps coming
00:08:15ew you're going commando right now no ew again i'm moving past it oh i'm going to play soccer in
00:08:22connecticut it's weird everyone around me seems to be so full of joy lately i still get knocked on my
00:08:31ass by the smallest things it's funny my friend paul he got me thinking we all have agency and maybe
00:08:37happiness is not this impossible thing you just have to choose it why are you saying this to me my
00:08:45mistake you're like the happiest person i know listen you don't have to try and inspire me every
00:08:50time we talk why can't we just sit and enjoy our coffees because the coffee from your shop is
00:08:55almost a hate crime bear why do you think the coyote is so sad maybe because you call it a
00:09:01coyote
00:09:01that's not cool that's just coyote coyote nope okay i gotta ask are you happy spending your days
00:09:11handing out the wi-fi password and heating up milk hey i also have complete creative control over how the
00:09:16muffins are arranged okay didn't you used to be a graphic designer yeah you know the logo at the
00:09:23farmers market yeah that was me get the out of here i see that every time i go to the
00:09:29farmers
00:09:30market yeah that's how it works at some point you're gonna have to restart your life i know
00:09:40i'm just finally feeling okay where i am i think i don't want to risk messing with that yeah i
00:09:48get that
00:09:49alice and i are doing really great right now she's gonna be heading off to college soon
00:09:54all i want is for her to live with me until i die peacefully and then she can go off
00:09:58and make
00:09:59whatever mistakes a young woman in her 70s might make well that sounds healthy how are you dealing with
00:10:04it same thing i tell my patients fake it till you make it i'm gonna be supportive do everything i
00:10:11can
00:10:11help her get into wesleyan pretend i'm not dying inside
00:10:24i'm just practicing because i know you're gonna get one today are you seriously putting that much
00:10:29pressure on me uh what no you don't you don't have to score at all if i don't i'm doomed
00:10:35i hope whatever you want to happen happens without you feeling like it has to happen
00:10:40i still can't figure out how to wear my new haircut for the game do i wear a headband or
00:10:45half up or
00:10:45hey hey i love it you know your mom used to wear hair like that when we first met wait
00:10:51really no i
00:10:52don't know why i said that you made me really nervous with the whole goal versus no goal issue um
00:10:57i do
00:10:58have one small request can we do face paint for the game today she said no derek come on chest
00:11:07is
00:11:08still good though yeah she said no paint anywhere what are we quakers when did i join club no fun
00:11:17why did he have it on already he says it gives it time to settle hey i'm leaving okay i'm
00:11:24coming
00:11:26okay listen i've been visualizing this the wesleyan coach loves you you get to go to your dream
00:11:32college in new england my turtleneck game is fire i'm there for all the big games season opener
00:11:39homecoming neighbors weekend parents weekend we'll see are you good i didn't really sleep i'm losing my
00:11:46shit a bit hey if you start to feel nervous out there i want you to look up into the
00:11:50stands and see all of
00:11:51us and borrow our positive energy and we're going to project it at you we're going to be like
00:12:01what is wrong with you you look like you're vomiting on her i know i heard it hey alice
00:12:06we're really proud of you i haven't played yet it doesn't matter
00:12:18morning did i put that smile on your face you did
00:12:25i think we should end this and by this you mean the talking before the sex right when i met
00:12:32you i
00:12:32just got divorced and i needed something sexy and fun and along comes a hot younger man who called me
00:12:41dr sykes in bed well there's no way i'm learning your first name now
00:12:47i think it's time for me to stop hiding from the future
00:12:50okay that sucks are you really gonna pretend this is super serious to you nah but
00:12:58i am gonna miss it well i didn't say how to end the second oh so we're doing a grand
00:13:04finale today
00:13:06doing the gospel choir with the power yeah but i gotta be at work in 15. i can do it
00:13:11no frills
00:13:12come here dr sykes no she really broke up with you yeah you seem surprised only because she hasn't
00:13:22called me it we talked about it more and she said that being with me was keeping her from moving
00:13:28forward i understand it but it's still annoying well maybe it's annoying because deep down you realize
00:13:34that you should be moving on too i know you want more a real relationship your own place a sailboat
00:13:44in
00:13:44connecticut okay the last one's mine but point is if you're not growing you're not living now i lived
00:13:54this morning twice i'll make a note of that patient keeps bragging despite having been dumped
00:14:03i missed the notebook so do i kid my handwriting got too shaky have i taught you about the field
00:14:12is this more your crunchy munchy spiritual crap life is a conversation with the universe and we're
00:14:19off the field is an intelligent energy force that knows who you are supposed to be and it's going to
00:14:27keep demonstrating to you what it is you need to work on most over and over again until you start
00:14:34to do
00:14:35it damn that actually sounds like it would be very helpful if it were real why are you smiling because
00:14:44i'm just thinking about how much i'm gonna enjoy it when you find out that the field is real and
00:14:50when
00:14:50that happens you don't even have to tell me i was right just i don't know throw me some prayer
00:14:58hands
00:15:00like i'm a god how about i hit you with a sexy wink you call that sexy okay let me
00:15:10see your game
00:15:16all right i'd hit that you couldn't handle it
00:15:20it's a lot redoing the upstairs guest bathroom and i appreciate that my husband's giving me carte
00:15:28blanche budget-wise but every time i try to tell him what i want to do creatively he doesn't want
00:15:35to
00:15:35hear it brave women are off in silence kathy you rosa parks pussy riot yeah and i know i shouldn't
00:15:44have said that but her problem just felt so trivial i couldn't stay focused man i zone out sometimes
00:15:49too i have this one patient uh gregory goes by spider he's got the great nickname he's covered in tats
00:15:56he's always wearing some cool boots this guy is so boring hey am i early gregory hey hey man how
00:16:07goes it
00:16:08we're gonna go do this yeah go every time i doubt myself as a therapist he goes and does something
00:16:15so stupid that it makes me feel better about myself that's why i keep him around yeah you know everybody
00:16:21i've been treating these days just seems to be caught up in such low-stakes shit i know suffering is
00:16:25suffering and i'm grateful to make a living doing what we do but i don't know that stuff with my
00:16:31sister
00:16:31my dad being bipolar like i got into this because i wanted to help people deal with real trauma like
00:16:40sometimes i just feel like i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing does that make any sense
00:16:45my first job was at bellevue suicidal ideation personality disorders schizophrenia all of it how was
00:16:54it was the worst job i ever had really not also the best you'd be great there
00:17:04thanks paul as a doctor or as a patient whatever okay i've been thinking about the color scheme in
00:17:13your nursery for the curtains i have two swatches for you to choose from tell them the truth i have
00:17:18one swatch but i'm really excited to hear your thoughts truth i don't care what you think and
00:17:24i also chose the wallpaper oh you know actually uh ava's coming to see us tomorrow she might have
00:17:29some fun thoughts decor wise you know derek's brother used to eat candles what oh i thought we were
00:17:35talking about stupid that doesn't matter okay just show me the baby's wallpaper well not yet the most
00:17:41important person isn't here rude i told you charlie couldn't make it who gives a about charlie
00:17:45what's up sluts now we can begin so what do you think it's so peaceful don't interrupt gabby i can't
00:17:57interrupt her while she's thinking brian please damn all right i'm sorry oh liz i love it it's so
00:18:04peaceful plus if you're ever feeling lazy and you don't want to take the baby for a walk you can
00:18:07just
00:18:07be like look up at the sky baby we're already outside babies are dumb can you believe she thinks she
00:18:13gets to make all these decisions about my baby yeah you knew what she was getting into when you
00:18:17hired nanny mcliz i made it perfectly clear you would be dealing with a major control freak i'm the
00:18:23worst oh hey um i'm just i'm gonna take this out back hey you what was that about i don't
00:18:34know the past
00:18:35few days he's been taking secret calls it's so weird usually he answers the phone on speakerphone it
00:18:41makes everyone say hi to whoever it is on the line it makes me crazy obviously he's revenge
00:18:46cheating on you what yes the one-year rule he gets that much time to do the same thing you
00:18:50did
00:18:50with no consequences liz oh damn dude you broke her liz i was joking it was just a joke that
00:18:59was a
00:18:59girl hey come on we got a soccer game to get to let's go let's go let's go let's go
00:19:06let's go let's go
00:19:07let's go let's go let's go what's up with her oh she's just kind of freaked out because she thinks
00:19:12derrick might be cheating on her the one-year rule it happens dude it's real yeah come on who's pumped
00:19:22me i bumped you bumped what's soccer we bumped wait for me wait for me are we early does everybody
00:19:33just
00:19:33hate soccer as much as i do hey i have a fun way to pass the time i had brian
00:19:40look at your new will
00:19:41and he said it's more complicated to become each other's beneficiaries than we think
00:19:46gotta get that power of attorney straightened out too when it comes time to pull the plug on me i'm
00:19:53pretty sure meg's gonna chicken out so you're my girl i can't wait can't wait for what when i have
00:20:01to put paul down oh cool let's get lunch after holy mackinoli look at all these beautiful faces thanks
00:20:08for coming everyone i just want to say not every moment is a speech moment this one is it still
00:20:14feels
00:20:14like a good lesson for you look it means the world you're all showing up like this i'm not sure
00:20:20alice would be such a strong young woman if it weren't for all of you she wouldn't be we did
00:20:25most
00:20:25of it you're nothing what the trying to say thank you great speech jimbo listen um hey man heard alice
00:20:31got her hair cut so you might have to show me which one she is no problem i love you
00:20:36i know you told people only sean babe i love you too man and everybody else i'm sorry babe
00:20:47hey come on alice let's go you're not cheering she's just stretching stretching like a beast hey
00:20:55yeah don't say beast yeah don't call women beast dude a beast is a good thing in sports
00:21:00all right
00:21:08wait why aren't you out there the coach suggested i might be better as a fan
00:21:13shut up every coach i ever had said that to me
00:21:17okay let's go alice
00:21:24okay okay okay all right go go go go go
00:21:31yes great pass
00:21:34okay hey that was a great idea alice she likes it when i stay positive well i'm not you hey
00:21:41ponytail
00:21:41when alice gives you a good pass finish it yeah you jesus
00:21:57jesus
00:21:58god that's a foul play on come on what game are you watching
00:22:02pull the hell out of your ass oh my gosh we are so cute
00:22:14hey you're a doctor right i'm having so much trouble focusing i'm not giving you that at all
00:22:20maybe maybe i'm just scared of how you dancing oh my tiny dancer
00:22:25hey don't touch my little girl
00:22:30thank you
00:22:31nice and calm sweetie
00:22:38wait wait um hey everybody i need you to do what i do okay
00:22:49okay
00:22:50okay like that
00:22:55sorry for the damage and bad
00:22:57the only thing that i'm doing is never doing enough maybe someday i'll stop this up
00:23:21okay
00:23:21okay it's getting weird now hey alice you have a second sure is that the wesley and kobe don't look
00:23:32i don't give a shit i'm staring her down
00:23:38uh do you want to just paul i feel like that's the exact wrong approach for this moment
00:23:45so if you two are definitely switching your power of attorney i'd also recommend updating your 401ks
00:23:50and getting julie on the deed to your condo which is a tricky process you need a notary and
00:23:54a witness and the whisker of a snow leopard what do i have to sign to get you to stop
00:23:59talking
00:23:59hey you ask me grumpus ignore him it's all just i don't know it just feels so complicated
00:24:06what if you two just got married wouldn't that take care of most of this you know he's he's not
00:24:13wrong i mean what little girl hasn't dreamed of getting married so that she has fewer forms to fill
00:24:20yeah i would do it did you just propose to my girlfriend for me
00:24:37paul no no no no no it's too delicious don't rush it
00:24:46my bad
00:24:59it'll be fine i don't think it will
00:25:04hey babe hey uh i have a confession to make the call i took yesterday wait i knew it is
00:25:13it that
00:25:13lady from your cornhole league are you screwing the corn whore no sharon is asexual to know that
00:25:20you must be talking to her way too much look all the calls were matthew he got fired again and
00:25:28he
00:25:28wanted my help breaking the news to you well why wouldn't he just tell me maybe he feels like
00:25:34sometimes you can be a little hard on him like when he was five and he scratched your car so
00:25:41you
00:25:41broke the bell on his tricycle eye for an eye exactly i think he thinks it would just go smoother
00:25:47if i
00:25:47softened you up first your butt looks slamming in those pants by the way go on
00:25:57he needs to move back home again yes when is this kid gonna get his act together i know honey
00:26:04he's
00:26:04struggling what else are we gonna do when does he want to move back about six hours ago hey mom
00:26:15the boat looks slamming okay the buttocks not for you all right come here give me a hug you however
00:26:23may continue look at those two scoops good morning oh oh oh no no no no time to face the
00:26:32music i want
00:26:32to see this look paul i'm sorry i proposed to your girlfriend and i'm prepared to accept whatever
00:26:39punishment you deem fit office chores silent treatment even a light spanking if that's still
00:26:45how your generation handles things you're not in trouble boo do the light spanking turns out getting
00:26:51married solves most of our issues we're just gonna go down to the justice of the peace this weekend
00:26:57when they ask if we take each other to be man and wife julie's just gonna say
00:27:02i guess so and i'm gonna say why not easy peasy yeah i'm sorry paul it's gonna be a huge
00:27:10no for
00:27:10me on the non-wedding wedding thing okay i'm not in trouble and this feels dangerous so i'm just gonna
00:27:16grab some breakfast and exit on a win oh uh come on you know i love you and julie let
00:27:24me just throw a
00:27:25little something together fuck no paul paul paul paul weddings aren't for the people that are
00:27:32getting married it's for their parents their grandparents etc and in your case they're all
00:27:36super dead so this wedding kind of like really when you think about it is just for me julie doesn't
00:27:42want anything either marty dialing her don't do this i'm doing it she wants to talk to me all the
00:27:47time
00:27:49hey gabby to what do i owe the pleasure oh pleasure now i'm so flustered i forgot why i was
00:27:56calling
00:27:57okay keep it in your pants you know what you do to me girl i'm here so so what would
00:28:03you say
00:28:04if i put together a teeny tiny non-wedding wedding uh no priest they're super creepy self-serve wine bar
00:28:11the dress code will be black tie forbidden and you still get to go with me to pick out a
00:28:14pretty dress
00:28:15that shows off those gorgeous sculpted angel wings you call arms okay uh give the phone to paul please
00:28:25you really do have sculpted angel arms thank you now how do we stop this i think we just have
00:28:32to
00:28:32put her down come on paul you know i've been feeling a little lost lately i need this i'm just
00:28:40a
00:28:40girl standing in front of a boy asking to marry a different girl once again fuck no okay fine yes
00:28:52you're not gonna regret it sexy yeah yeah bye bye i do not agree to this
00:29:01coach will be here soon but that is fine you know why
00:29:04you know why because we are ready all right the house is clean i scattered some soccer balls around
00:29:10for ambiance then i tripped on one hence the limp then i removed them all because that was ridiculous
00:29:15what about snacks we good to go if hors d'oeuvres could get into wesley and this cheese board would
00:29:19get a full ride i know i'm getting ahead of myself but i'm already picturing myself in connecticut like who
00:29:26is
00:29:27east coast alice how do i even dress i asked liz and all she said was she looks amazing in
00:29:32turtlenecks
00:29:33i'm nervous what if i pull a dad what act weird and word vomit all over her exactly right if
00:29:41it
00:29:41starts to go south just play the dead mom card you know the thing where you mention your mom died
00:29:47and
00:29:47people give you whatever you want i don't do that anymore excuse me two weeks ago you got out of
00:29:53building sets and drama class by saying the smell of wood reminded you of caskets i'll admit this is a
00:29:59recent change someone pointed out i'm perhaps using it as a crutch so i'm done wow i'm proud of
00:30:07you because i might be casually robbed right now matthew got fired again so he's home but he's not at
00:30:14home my mom said it was okay oh liz sean matthew matthew sean really like cheese huh yeah absolutely not
00:30:29come on there's no food left here he keeps eating and eating he's like a pacman it's not my problem
00:30:37when tia died i fed your kid for a year
00:30:46wow liz played our dead mom card and she played it well oh yeah your wife died
00:30:54that sucks yeah time for you to go nope
00:31:03holy crap that's her that's right can't breathe i can't breathe it's immediately sweating i do
00:31:08i'll get the door jimmy say your goodbyes what i have to go it's a shame i memorized all these
00:31:14amazing
00:31:14soccer facts did you know pele was the first spokesperson for viagra did you know that that's
00:31:19gross okay if you want to give any last second advice this is your chance ready okay when you
00:31:25shake her hand make sure it's firm but not too firm no matter what she chooses from that
00:31:31motherfucking cheese plate you say nice choice most of all just be yourself you're the best
00:31:43oh hello hi james laird passionate girl dad firm but not too firm nice choice maggie bohan you have
00:31:53a very impressive daughter thanks
00:31:57also i'm not her biological father her mother had an affair with david beckham and we're going
00:32:01i know sean i was there when it happened wow it's so true what they say you are literally glowing
00:32:08thanks i'm so gassy it makes me sweaty however you got there it's working for you so what do you
00:32:14think of the nursery you're fine take my hand i mean the light is is so lovely in here and
00:32:23the crib
00:32:23is perfect the only thing i'm not sure about is that wallpaper when i was a kid i always wanted
00:32:31winnie
00:32:31the pooh on my wall but my mom only allowed bible characters like beautiful angels like cain killing
00:32:37abel that's horrifying i was a pretty lonely kid the first book i ever read was winnie the pooh and
00:32:43he had all those friends and i'm i'm so sorry i hope i'm not overstepping not at all no totally
00:32:50fine
00:32:54oh it's totally fine i think winnie the pooh's a great idea winnie the pooh can suck my dick please
00:32:59no winnie don't do that well you just have to dip it in honey first when he loves honey all
00:33:07right just
00:33:07admit it you're being petty because ava didn't like your ideas and now you're gonna hold a grudge forever
00:33:11just like a crow i'm not sure i love that okay yes i'm petty and yes i've been known to
00:33:18hold grudges and
00:33:19yes forever true that but this is about boundaries brian you're about to adopt a baby
00:33:25have you even discussed with ava how much you want her to be involved are you seriously asking if we've
00:33:29sorted something that important this close to the delivery date of course we have it liz oh everyone's
00:33:36here guys go sit down brian your thing's over hey hey paul julie thank you for coming why are we
00:33:44here
00:33:44so i can tell you about a little movie made in 2001 in which miss jennifer lopez inspired a generation
00:33:51by showing us that if you're hot and you have a heart of gold you can plan the best wedding
00:33:56ever
00:33:56even if you're short on time and you want to bang the fiancee shout out to julie
00:34:01anyway for the next few days i am your motherfucking wedding planner yes your g-lo that's right i don't
00:34:09i
00:34:09don't get it i love that movie but why do we need a wedding planner you love that movie hey
00:34:15focus
00:34:15please because we are moving fast on this wedding okay it will take place in front of this house
00:34:20because the lovely gorgeous liz has kindly agreed to host anything for my therapist i talked to you
00:34:26once on a bench i didn't want credit for any of this confidentiality my bad oh also paul julie i
00:34:34know
00:34:34we spoke about keeping things small but that is over okay things grow they get more funner um there
00:34:40will be food food a dance floor dance floor string lights out of the ass ass thought you'd like that
00:34:45bri this isn't happening oh it's happening paul and it's your fault for letting me in sucker anyway
00:34:50moving on to the expanded guest list i spoke to meg yesterday and she and dave are flying in i
00:34:56know
00:34:57she did say she was not super psyched to hear about her father's engagement from me so i would give
00:35:01her a
00:35:01call also because we are short on time and because he would literally cry if it wasn't him jimmy is
00:35:08going to be the officiant in your face in your face in your face i've dreamt of this okay this
00:35:20is great
00:35:21sorry i'm cool i have the best opening joke i want to tell you guys i don't want to save
00:35:29it for
00:35:29the wedding jesus calm your ass down paul all you have to do is show up like i don't know
00:35:34how i can
00:35:34make it easier for you okay also jimmy when gorgeous and i decide a color scheme i need you to
00:35:40take paul
00:35:41to buy a tie and a pocket square that matches that's two shops actually paul it's three show
00:35:46ups you need to show up to the store you need to show up to your own goddamn wedding and
00:35:50show up with
00:35:51a better fucking attitude come with me queen i want to talk to you about some stuff i actually feel
00:35:55more
00:35:55comfortable with you when there's a witness oh so you want somebody to watch i love that great game the
00:36:01other day the crowd was so rowdy especially that older gentleman yeah that was my um cranky therapist
00:36:09grandpa and that tall lady wearing all the colors she's my hero godmother and then there was brian
00:36:15who's my gunkle godfather and sean more people and the woman who made our goalie cried that's my
00:36:23neighbor mother yeah well that's great and heads up i can't be responsible for what any of those people
00:36:29do if you don't let me onto the team you're lucky to have such a big and frighteningly loyal support
00:36:36group
00:36:37yeah i really am okay so look we have the reputation of being a defensive team that's why we're looking
00:36:46to add more attackers like yourself
00:36:53nice meeting you coach you too alice sorry it didn't work out
00:36:59hey you're making a big mistake she's great you don't have to sell me she turned me down
00:37:09sean let's go inside oh thanks for meeting us here we're all helping to get ready for our friends
00:37:16and prompt you wedding that's so kind wow even brian yes stewart you shady little
00:37:22bitch i know how to be kind i'm just not a whore about it hi stewart i'm gabby hi i
00:37:27think no time
00:37:27for chit chat i heard you're great at wrapping silverware with a napkin and putting a ribbon on it
00:37:32go well this might be the first time i've been attracted to a woman
00:37:38thank god you're here oh no liz this meeting isn't for you sister lights are for you okay actually it
00:37:45might be better for everybody if you just went inside and set up the bar i want to stay outside
00:37:49and do
00:37:49the lights no you want to stay outside and get in their business i can do both you cannot you're
00:37:54coming with me come on listen you've got to figure this eva stuff out right now your intrusive friend
00:37:59is not wrong well i wish you'd told us that i believe you have a text from me two weeks
00:38:04ago that says
00:38:05you should figure out this eva stuff maybe follow up try going the extra mile how about that i am
00:38:11currently rolling silverware for strangers but not for us stewart look it's up to you to define the
00:38:17parameters for example you could create a structure where there's regular visitation annually like
00:38:24she's santa we can't compete with that okay or monthly like a car payment less of a threat to your
00:38:30fragile ego either way the benefit is having another loving adult in your child's life well that could be
00:38:37nice yeah if you think shit shows are nice i'm back she took her eye off me listen when i
00:38:43had matthew
00:38:44my maternal instinct kicked in so hard that when the nurse came in to give the baby a bath i
00:38:51went
00:38:51feral on her bit her tasted blood god the point is it's gonna be very hard for ava to let
00:38:59go of this
00:38:59baby and if you guys open the door even a crack she's gonna be in your lives forever there's no
00:39:08right or
00:39:09wrong way to do it short are you a parent no then you have too many opinions heard you're the
00:39:16nanny this
00:39:17baby is so blessed i think i've been avoiding this because i'm afraid if i say what i really want
00:39:22it's gonna sound selfish and that's just like so not me i know but honestly i'm happy to send her
00:39:29a
00:39:29picture and an update once a year but i don't want ava involved this is our family babe you sound
00:39:39passionate about this i am we want it to be just the two of us the three of us we
00:39:47have to go tell her
00:39:48let me know how it goes okay you happy with this no can i help you you got a gun
00:40:03okay easy does it paul
00:40:05hi we are looking for a tie and a pocket square in this color please oh i love a pocket
00:40:11square it's
00:40:12like your suit is winking at people what are you guys doing here we have great style jimmy dresses
00:40:19like mr rogers sorry that's a direct quote from gabby mr rogers i'm blushing fred rogers could get it
00:40:26incidentally my great aunt had a lost weekend with mr rogers said it was a very good day in the
00:40:32neighborhood oh so the neighborhood was her vagina yes paul that could have been her butt holy
00:40:39shit that's more of a dark alley maybe you guys could just check out the rest of the store yeah
00:40:44yeah we'll just go i'm gonna start right here damn it i got you
00:40:54fuck parkinson's yeah fuck parkinson's
00:41:00hey uh so when i marry you is there anything you want me to say in particular because i could
00:41:04go on
00:41:04for hours but i know you'd hate that so i thought i'd keep it under like 10 20 minutes you
00:41:08got one
00:41:09sentence and try not to make it too sappy well then maybe try not to have such a beautiful love
00:41:16story oh jimmy when you get married i am so gonna torture you
00:41:25i'm never getting married again
00:41:30never's a long time kid
00:41:33i already found my soul mate we got a beautiful daughter what more could i ask for
00:41:40look with alice going away to college i've done a lot of thinking about being alone
00:41:43you got great friends you got a job that i love it's a good life
00:41:50besides there's a certain person i know who spent most of their life alone and they seem to really enjoy
00:41:54it who you fucker oh yeah hey not that anyone's asking they don't have belts which is a huge blind
00:42:08spot oh yeah just leaving money on the table right also the uh salesman said they don't have the
00:42:13pocket squares in the color that we want oh well but they do have them at their other boutique
00:42:27i can't believe she turned me down well she's gonna regret it i can text my cousin sheamus he will
00:42:32fuck her up i found him through 23andme and he's like a full-blown psycho maybe take a beat on
00:42:39that
00:42:40i mean it sucks but i can always go to college near here what are you doing i talked to
00:42:45the coach
00:42:45you turned her down you lied to me no i wasn't lying to you i was practicing before i lied
00:42:51to my dad
00:42:51oh then you are 100 forgiven proud of you proud of your lies i don't get it you wanted this
00:43:00when i
00:43:00talked to her it reminded me how much you guys show up for me you always do maybe i'm not
00:43:05ready to leave
00:43:06this feeling safe i mean you get it you still live in the backyard i don't live in the yard
00:43:12there's a tiny
00:43:14house can you please just not narc to dad alice i don't know sean come on my mom died sorry
00:43:21not doing
00:43:22that anymore please all right fine i won't say anything i hope you mean that because there is
00:43:31nothing sheamus hates more than a snitch except for the royal family he is supes political sorry your
00:43:39bachelorette party was just you trying on a dress and then making a list of all the guys you bonked
00:43:43impressive body count by the way thank you 70s were fun you know i didn't even get to tell the
00:43:48story about how i went to a bachelorette party and the stripper was my friend's son it should have been
00:43:53really weird but honestly i was really into it he gave me eye contact the whole time feels like you
00:44:00did get to tell that story i still think about that young man i use it if you know what
00:44:05i mean i'm okay
00:44:06with my party being over jimmy went home and your significant others whose names i can't remember
00:44:13went to the belt store you know their names i truly do not say their names okay well where's your
00:44:21tie in
00:44:21pocket square oh come on dude who cares about this where it lives this house not the copacabana
00:44:31this is so unnecessary paul no no no he he's right i mean we can hit the courthouse and then
00:44:39just
00:44:39i don't know i'll have pizza over here or something it'd be a lot less hassle exactly
00:44:45thank you i'll meet you in the car
00:44:52um she said exactly what i wanted her to say but i felt that there was something not good
00:44:58underneath it what the heck's the matter with you you're mad because you had to buy a tie and a
00:45:01hanky you weren't there jimmy sexualized mr rogers and the derricks would not stop talking i knew you
00:45:09knew their names look i know i'm knee-deep in your nuptials and as much as i love doing the
00:45:15electric
00:45:15slide with white people do you really think that this is all about me are you that dumb are you
00:45:20do you
00:45:20think i'd be doing all this if i couldn't tell julie wanted it do you girl sometimes it's all right
00:45:24to
00:45:25me talk less i'm sorry i got excited this is bullshit julie doesn't care
00:45:35your car is gone no way
00:45:40all right you can say it no way
00:45:45she said i wasn't a good fit for the team she comes into our house and rejects me whatever you
00:45:54know
00:45:54what i'm i'm over it i'm over it hey screw wesleyan come here
00:46:03she's lying alice is the one who said no to the coach sean you promised you wouldn't tell him
00:46:09that's because i didn't think he'd be dumb enough to actually believe you what college coach flies
00:46:14across the country just to reject someone a kind respectful one i don't what's going on
00:46:20i don't want to talk about it she thought about how much she missed all of us and it freaked
00:46:24her out
00:46:24could you please go back to your pool house hey hold on sean can stay he's part of this family
00:46:29sweet hey
00:46:35i just don't think i'm ready to go yet i know i'm not ready to leave you well i understand
00:46:43that
00:46:46it's okay not to be ready you know if you need more time you just live here at home and
00:46:50go to
00:46:51school around here thanks dad and that's some bullshit jimmy that bullshit is worse than her
00:46:57bullshit you know she could do this you just don't want her to leave damn it i just made you
00:47:02family
00:47:02as of now you are out of the family return to the pool house i cannot believe paul was right
00:47:08and this
00:47:09field thing is real now i gotta wink at them all sensually what are you talking about you're both
00:47:15afraid to move forward but you know you should all of us need to do that should we gang up
00:47:24on him i
00:47:25think we should gang up on him i want to so badly but he's right and it's very annoying
00:47:33kid you can handle going away to college after everything we've been through it'll be a breeze
00:47:39in a lot of ways you lived on your own already i sort of prepared you for this maybe that
00:47:45was my
00:47:45plan all along no nice try though look all these people that you're afraid of leaving they're all
00:47:52gonna be here and get the out of here matthew oh there you are sorry come on bud we've got
00:47:59food for
00:47:59you at home i just got yelled at for eating the food at home well yeah that was the wedding
00:48:04cake
00:48:06come on in make yourselves at home
00:48:11please sit great yeah you both look so handsome i love the looks what's the occasion we may or may
00:48:18not be going to a wedding in 45 minutes fingers crossed for it to either happen or not happen
00:48:25in a super dramatic way that's so fun yeah my mom and dad never went to stuff together you ever
00:48:32see
00:48:32those couples where you can tell they shouldn't be married but they just stay in it forever and
00:48:36ever because divorce is a sin good we're back to the god stuff sorry you probably didn't come by to
00:48:42here about my childhood no so what did you want to talk about um um i made it weird i
00:48:58do that sometimes
00:48:59i do that too he does it's just your family is so special and i feel lucky to be even
00:49:08a small part of it
00:49:10i'm really grateful for you guys sorry i i'm done interrupting now your turn
00:49:21so how'd it go you know i bailed i got one sentence in and asked her to spend the rest
00:49:27of her life with
00:49:28us no she said that they looked handsome and her family was sad and she said that she liked my
00:49:34look
00:49:35you know i've always been on the fence about this jacket she famously has bad taste as we learned
00:49:39from the winnie the pooh fiasco i know what you're gonna say that that i'm weak and i don't deserve
00:49:44this
00:49:44baby it's just that ava is so
00:49:54alone you know
00:49:58you
00:50:01are a weak man i know no i fucked up and i would have done the same thing
00:50:12really it sucks that we're such good people i know right not yet problem drinkers where did you come
00:50:18from uh what are you out of your freaking mind i said no soft cheeses well how do you have
00:50:23a walkie
00:50:23who are you talking to look there's only a 50 50 chance our guests of honor are going to show
00:50:27up
00:50:27but we are going to have a wedding either way liz i will marry you if i have to
00:50:34well now i hope that paul and julie don't show up i know we all know don't drink that one
00:50:40that one's for me you take this little one
00:50:49you're gonna dress like this makes me feel like you're not into it hey i thought we didn't care
00:50:58about any of this i don't i i didn't but then i i tried on that dress and and it
00:51:06was pretty
00:51:08but plus my 15 minute bachelorette party was wasn't just me talking about all the guys i've been
00:51:13with excuse me i i told them how we met and about our first date at that italian restaurant you
00:51:23know
00:51:23that we didn't realize was also a karaoke bar and how you talk saying total eclipse of the heart
00:51:30and they were oohing and eyeing and i just i just got sucked in and i my god i just
00:51:37i feel like i just feel
00:51:39so stupid no you're not the stupid one i promised myself i'd start enjoying life to the fullest and
00:51:49but unfortunately what i like most in life is
00:51:56being an asshole you are great at it won't stop can't stop what i should have been realizing is
00:52:07what we have here you me
00:52:16that's worth celebrating
00:52:20i mean we could end up spending the next 50 years together oh that's it well then you'll probably
00:52:28die and i'll meet someone else
00:52:32i forgot something
00:52:45will you will you marry me
00:52:51in 15 minutes
00:52:57yeah
00:53:10so shotgun wedding huh julie's pregnant i knew i shouldn't have invited you
00:53:16my wedding gift to my dad is that i didn't bring my husband dave
00:53:19you can't put a price on that
00:53:22means a lot that you came of course i came
00:53:26you should get married every weekend i want as much time as i can get with you
00:53:34keep it short okay okay you wanna we can hug and kiss too come
00:53:40i i haven't been to a wedding on my own in a long time yeah it's kind of fun i
00:53:45don't have to be a
00:53:45married mom here i might drink too much i might ask a stranger to dance i might even try some
00:53:53flirty banter yeah you want to give it a shot okay hey my daddy's the groom what's your daddy like
00:54:03it was you know what it was it was okay you're gonna warm up uh-huh maybe just like say
00:54:08daddy less
00:54:09i'm gonna start drinking okay have fun yeah yes no i understand yes i get how it could seem like
00:54:16i'm
00:54:17not committed let's call myself coach i fucked this all up dead mom card last time ever play it hard
00:54:27the thing is i got in my head about leaving because my mom died not that long ago
00:54:35yeah yeah i've been a bit of a mess since we lost mama mama that is so kind of you
00:54:42oh you will not
00:54:43regret this thank you so much i can't wait thank you i'm going to wesleyan okay we're about to get
00:54:51this thing rolling so please take your seats you like awesome speeches
00:55:09let's get going are you gonna sit down i'm giving you away your dad never showed up
00:55:16i've always been glad that he was dead but now i'm even more glad
00:55:43what are you doing nothing just a bug oh that's perfect
00:56:00i love you
00:56:03could all please be seated i would be remiss if i did not take a moment to recognize that right
00:56:11now
00:56:11all around this great country of ours melons are forced to have gigantic weddings surrounded by
00:56:19friends and family they cantaloupe oh my god you let that man inside you yeah i'm not proud of it
00:56:29right here guys i do want to thank everybody for coming of course and now nope you had your melon
00:56:36joke
00:56:36which we all felt violated by yes that's your one sentence no paul that was a greeting not a sentence
00:56:45let the man have his sentence he needs it he needs it don't be a dick
00:56:50give him a phrase let him talk i'm not scared of any of you okay okay you know what you
00:56:56know listen
00:56:57me just do it for me big guy okay fine go okay we are here today to celebrate paul and
00:57:07julie who are
00:57:09living examples that love can be found in the most unlikely of times and in the most unlikely of places
00:57:17comma which in their case was a cold and sterile doctor's office where they first locked eyes
00:57:25over julie's stethoscope comma and despite many obstacles including the medical code of ethics
00:57:33they forged a connection so deep and so strong
00:57:39that they managed to tear down the walls of a certain fortress of solitude once and for all
00:57:47semi-colon so paul and julie thank you so much for sharing this moment and your love
00:57:57with all of us because every single one of us is so lucky to get to love you back
00:58:07period
00:58:10suck it exclamation point
00:58:19and now oh right i forgot i'm sorry and now by the power vested in me by the state of
00:58:26california
00:58:26i now pronounce you whoa you're just gonna do it whoa you're married you can just go ahead and
00:58:31kiss her real deep like that hey big guy i owe you something
00:58:55i told you so you're telling me i have a year to kiss anyone i want i am so not
00:59:04telling you that
00:59:04i'm telling you that i know how i'm picking
00:59:10fuck that if i was allowed to cheat i would obviously choose pedro pesc also my spouse
00:59:15mm-hmm this is amazing babe really yeah i can't believe you pulled it off i love you oh my
00:59:26god
00:59:26you did it you said it normal wow yeah that's cool oh well now i miss the weird one oh
00:59:32i can look
00:59:32it weird i can do impressions i can do smeagol do that one i love you my precious
00:59:39yes
00:59:55you could have that too you know
01:00:00i already did paul
01:00:03i was lucky enough to have it for uh almost 20 years so i'm not certain i'm ever gonna top
01:00:12that
01:00:14the dead wife card i'm guessing you were the one who told alice to stop using it
01:00:21scary isn't it think about putting yourself out there
01:00:27but do me a favor will you don't be like me
01:00:37don't wait as long as i did
01:00:51hey daddy
01:00:55i don't know
01:00:55good to dance i think it's still too much daddy
01:00:59okay daddy come on daddy
01:01:04yeah what the
01:01:07it's a living thing
01:01:11it's a terrible thing to lose
01:01:15it's a given thing
01:01:19what a terrible thing to lose
01:01:38jerry
01:01:40what are you doing here hey don't get too excited
01:01:43i just love cake hey stud hi so who are you talking to jerry who
01:01:53jerry
01:01:57you don't see you
01:01:58you don't see him do you
01:02:11wolf
01:02:13yeah
01:03:17Bye-bye.
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