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00:05Hello, you're so kind. Hello and welcome to the show. Thank you so much for joining us.
00:13I've just met a man who has a tattoo of a chicken nugget on his leg. Just some information,
00:19some take-out, if you will. We have an audience and some very lovely guests and joining us
00:24on the sofa. She is a comedian and award-winning podcaster who's currently breaking records
00:31with her latest stand-up tour. It's Joanne McNally. He's the best-nominated creator and star of Man
00:46Like Mo Bean. He's now appearing in the Prime series Bait. It's Gus Kahn.
00:56Iola. Adorable. She is a Golden Globe winner for West Side Story, an Olivier Award nominee
01:07for Evita, and now she's back at the London Palladium. It's Rachel Zegler!
01:21And he's the singer-songwriter who found global boy band success with One Direction. He's
01:27now a chart-topping solo artist who's sold over 90 million records. Back with a brand-new album,
01:35it's Niall Horace!
01:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:40Don't do that. It's you.
01:42Oh.
01:44Oh.
01:46Oh.
01:46Come on.
01:49Oh.
01:55Oh.
01:56Oh.
01:56Oh.
02:02Oh.
02:02Oh.
02:05Oh.
02:07I'm not going to lie. I'm shit, myself Claudia.
02:09No!
02:10I'll be honest. You should be. I have quite a few things to bring with you.
02:14But, I'm sure.
02:15Yes ma'am.
02:16Before that, it was St Patrick's Day this week. Niall, St Patrick's Day is a big deal in your
02:22world?
02:23Yeah.
02:24we I think how powerful Ireland is like culturally around the world and I'm like
02:29a little flag bearer going around two of us just go around London just go we're
02:33from Ireland and we love being Irish so we're happy to celebrate any day to be
02:38honest but Paddy's Day is another excuse isn't it it's definitely growing legs
02:43worldwide we're kind of the favorite we're the favorite you're the same people
02:46and you know I know that because I did a bit of digging and the passport the
02:51Irish passport is the most expensive passport on the dark web
02:57guess how much it's worth 200 grand now you can sell yours when you run out of
03:04money once I figure out how to get on that and drive around in a Lamborghini made
03:11of lobster bound while some Russian gangster guys going through American
03:14immigration without a bother on it I might not look like her yeah I am her
03:21yeah just get the bangs big shoulder pads you'd be grand yeah done um do you have
03:26do you love Ireland I mean I love it but I don't 200 grand love it
03:31do you like it yeah it's right so Rachel your best friend is yes your biggest fan
03:39yeah which I'm sure you get this a lot when I was growing up and One Direction
03:44was getting very popular I was getting into Les Miserables so I wasn't really
03:48me too I've seen it multiple times yes of course and my best friend when I was a
03:54kid I've known her since I was one oh her name is Carly and she had a cardboard cut
03:59cut out of you in her bedroom so when we had sleepovers do you know who watched me
04:04sleep
04:06it's all coming back it's all coming back to me now
04:11it really quite intense hello to her hi Carly hello Carly hi diva
04:19hi diva
04:24now we need to talk about the new album yes
04:34it's called dinner party we have a visual here
04:37oh there she is oh my god guys I I'm not anti it but is this gonna happen all night
04:49yes okay and the the singles dinner party it's out I believe now and it was
04:55written about a very special dinner party wasn't it yeah I wrote this song it's
05:00the lyric kind of does it's like Ron so it does exactly what it says in the tin it
05:05tells you exactly what happened from from the night I met my girlfriend she was a
05:16yeah she was like a late addition to a party that was at and yeah I just got
05:21chatting to her offered her a drink we got chatting she says that we didn't
05:26kiss that night I disagree I think we did and it's one of those things that you
05:32don't expect to be to be writing about like a big once-in-a-lifetime moment and
05:36it kind of happened to me which is pretty cool so I got to write about it can I
05:40also just say the energy since you mentioned your incredible partner has
05:44changed as soon as you bought off Niall don't mention it I wasn't going to
05:53bring it up good so I'm going to bring it up it's going very weird in here by the
05:58way I just met her she's this is gonna make it worse divine
06:08do you like to dinner I'm nervous hmm of a dinner party I don't want a napkin in the
06:15shape of a swan yeah or place that I just worried that I'm gonna do something wrong
06:19do you love a dinner party it's something that I've definitely gotten into the older
06:23I've gotten it's one of those things it's a it's a coming-of-age thing isn't it
06:27having a dinner party it's like I mean I just sat down for dinner and kind of
06:32throw a pizza in the oven or something generally but now that I'm older I have
06:36dinner parties obviously you two where do we stand on dinner parties I can't I can't
06:44cook shit why would I remove jobs from the hard-working people at Nando's there's
06:51no need I receive my food it's a wonderful transaction and there's no
06:57there's no dinner parties in my house I got five kids man I I'll attend I won't
07:03host I use my air fire to hold my keys do you bring food will you like do a potluck
07:08no okay I'll arrive when the food has been done and just in the party is
07:12beginning right and I I'm the same as you delivery this is highly embarrassing but
07:18obviously we're in it now contacted me and asked me if I'd like a business
07:22account because they thought I was a company my problem with delivery is I'll
07:28do an order you know you're in trouble when they deliver it with like four sets
07:32of chopsticks and just me in my bed yeah I leave the noodles with my hands thanks
07:39for coming now we have got a clip of the song
07:44one kiss on your neck it was so concrete I'm done looking for somebody
07:53behind closed doors things I've never felt before
08:00crashing lies when you first saw me yeah I met you at a damn party
08:09sharing the ears to drink and coffee yeah I met you at a party
08:27please tell us the details of the single the name and when it's out and then we
08:32can go who the single is the dinner party it's out today and the album is coming
08:36very soon
08:45Niall I found out some other information about you which I'm obsessed or
08:49information about me for Vogue you went through your beauty routine oh and by the
08:59way it would not fit on these cards not even small font I there are 22 steps wait one
09:10you light a candle to set this home give me a minute go on I'll give her a half an
09:18hour for there's a cold water splash pardon number nine is you play with big
09:26silver balls there are so many tell me what you actually do I do quite a few
09:33of them to be fair I'm quite I'm quite a big into the skincare do the ice water in
09:36the morning three or four dunks a couple of moisturizers and like a serum a
09:48moisturizer as to have a spray well it's not a cold plunge for your face yeah it's
09:53fucking he's actually 72 years old yeah you do I'm so impressed I'm used to
10:01dealing with lads who clean their face at the scrub daddy I need to move up in the
10:10world yeah guys what are you doing in the morning
10:18like a wash my face sometimes you know sometimes some mornings is hard my wife
10:25puts that um is it like a blackhead what is that blackheads I don't know what it is
10:30but every time is every time she puts it on she insists that she's the one to take
10:36it off and when she peels it she does the same thing every time she peels it looks
10:40at it and says disgusting so you know yeah does she rip it off hot like quick it
10:49depends on the mood I think what I'm my plan is to um two-step skincare and then
10:57just eventually got a gorgeous Korean facelift yeah they just yank you up yeah
11:07yank you right all right the problem is where did the folds go who cares like the
11:11foul okay goes into the back of your ears right my eyes on my head I want to so
11:15much plastic surgery when they cremate me I won't burn I'll just it's a good goal I
11:38like it I want my eyes on the top of my head I want my ass on my back that's
11:43what I want
11:45I'm following you yeah of course Rachel you're back in the UK back in the palladium yeah and
11:52you're here for a very special week of concerts yeah I'm doing a week of concerts of the 25th
11:58anniversary of the musical the last five years with my good friend Ben Platt there we are there's our
12:03faces and it's so so special because it's directed by the writer and composer Jason Robert Brown who
12:11will also be on stage conducting playing piano all those things and I've just been dying at the
12:16opportunity to work with my good friend Ben I'm so excited what I love is when I came to see
12:21you
12:21earlier you were like I was watching Ben sing today he was amazing it's just it's actually
12:25disgusting like I'm mad about it yeah you get it it's like it's one of those things where you
12:31watch your friends be talented and you're just it's revolting I want to push him down the stairs
12:39let's not do that but he'll feel the same way about you he will maybe he really well I don't
12:46please
12:47tell me when we can come and see the concert Tuesday March 24th through March 29th at the London
12:54Palladium it's so exciting I can't wait I cannot wait
13:06you at the Palladium we have to talk about Avita you've just been nominated for an Olivier award
13:10congratulations this is when you came out to the balcony and you sang when they first told you that
13:25idea were you like don't be ridiculous guys oh no I was like whatever we need to do let's make
13:29it
13:29happen it was beyond my wildest dreams I never could have imagined there were more people on closing
13:34night outside than there were sat inside unbelievable there were like 3,000 people I think outside for
13:40the final night it went all the way down to the IKEA on yeah and it was unbelievable there's 2200
13:50seats in
13:50the Palladium roughly so it was it was amazing and were there some nights that really stuck with you
13:55pride was amazing because everyone was so hammered they were singing along incorrectly I had a we could
14:06see the building across from me on Argyle Street which was it's a building with restaurants that
14:10there's offices I'm sure and there was somebody who stood in the stairwell and just kind of mimicked my
14:16every move in my direct eye line it was hysterical I have to give kudos I don't know who they
14:22are
14:22those to that man thank you you so Rachel didn't you I did it's crazy yeah why would you really
14:28know
14:29it was the hottest ticket in town I had to pull a lot of strings to get in it was
14:34phenomenal if it makes
14:35you feel any better I am also disgusted by you oh yeah a lot of people I know you're funny
14:44as well
14:44I'm gonna have to have you put down now we have somebody here I believe who is about to play
14:53Evita at
14:54the Swan in Worcester Rosie are you here Rosie hi darling Rosie number one good luck when does it
15:02start 21st of April so soon yeah oh my god are you excited yeah it's the time of your life
15:08yeah this
15:09is the most exciting part do you get enough water breaks um yeah I know baby I know because I
15:18had this
15:18really fun thing where I didn't have any costume changes where usually as Eva Peron I'm sure you have
15:23a lot of costume changes drink during those yes because I didn't have any of those and I had to
15:28beg for water breaks to be choreographed in Olivier nominee Fabian Eloise should win just because he
15:34choreographed water breaks into my choreography and I bet those who saw it didn't even notice
15:41right but it's the time of your life just take it with you it's so much fun you'll remember it
15:46for a
15:46lifetime good luck your Evita broke records it was the longest standing ovation ever in the West End
16:00how long did it got over 10 minutes over 10 minutes on closing night for sure but it was a
16:04it was one
16:05of those moments where I was I was used to doing I did Shakespeare in New York like you don't
16:10get a
16:10standing o for everything but in New York it's very much a part of the culture after the show is
16:14done
16:14everybody stands and I was told many times before the run started like well just you know it doesn't
16:21mean they don't like it if they don't stand it doesn't mean that because London audiences are a
16:24lot more reserved which I for one really love and we got a standing ovation every night and it was
16:29bizarre to everybody in the company that that was what was going on and the closing night was I think
16:35it was like 12 minutes it went over the the record which was 10 how do you what face do
16:42you pull
16:42there are many videos of me turning to James Olivas who plays Peron where I go I don't know what
16:48to do
16:49I don't know what to do and also like I said didn't really have any time off stage I had
16:55to pee so bad
16:57that I would always be like Alan wrap it up because we were waiting for a reprise of money kept
17:02rolling
17:02in to come in so that we could dance off the stage and it just never came and so there
17:07are also videos
17:07of me being like I have to pee because you had water breaks I've got you've had water breaks and
17:14you're not wearing a nappy I had exactly I had very rare water breaks so when I could drink water
17:20you best believe I was chugging yeah so it was one of those where I had to pee so bad
17:25at the end of
17:25it's a three-hour musical and I did not leave the stage once the only time I left the stage
17:30was to go get
17:30ready to go to the balcony and then I came right back onto the stage so I didn't have any
17:34time to
17:34pee during the show Rachel you need a she we are using a glass to breathe we need to converse
17:47about
17:47bait it's a brand new show for prime video that's great this is a creation of Riz Ahmed I've known
17:55Riz for
17:56quite some time I knew him before I even stumbled into this and he's been really honest it's a real
18:00honest story of what it's like for a guy from a working-class family in Wembley to have done all
18:06the stuff he's done but every time that big role comes that big opportunity comes something goes wrong
18:12or he doesn't quite happen and it was it was wicked to work on on it with him because it's
18:17it's so honest
18:18it's a lot of his real life in his real story so yeah it's got a lot of humor it's
18:22completely crazy
18:22that's how Riz likes to do his stuff and I think it's very unique some something that people won't
18:27have seen before for sure this is about Riz going for bond right he has an audition and his light
18:33it's four days that's the story of bait isn't it can I tell you the truth yeah I'm not really
18:39sure
18:42because I'm a truthful person okay so month of Ramadan I've got to tell the truth okay I'll be reading
18:48my words and then I go to sleep that's all I do
19:02for the show I just heard her back there bang her head it's really good though I can tell you
19:08that
19:09it's really good should we have a clip if you want yeah go on calm down it's just an audition
19:14yeah
19:15call me if you need a body double for sex scenes can you tell us call me soon she comes
19:20back in yes
19:25I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing I just got to sort this out
19:28and work it out
19:30because you go yo look at me I'm proud of you yeah oh my god let's see what happens of
19:39course
19:39in Charlotte but do they know about height you mean they're gonna give you special shoes like James
19:45was a beginning I'm just saying it for you for you I have to say it he's short he's sure
20:05Riz so you
20:08know there's certain criteria that I believe you have to hit to be James Bond and they killed him
20:12at number one he can't even help that it's not his fault he didn't get the right level of protein
20:16in when he was a kid you can't make a difference on somebody bless Riz Ahmed can I say that
20:20we should
20:20have a short James Bond because how are you going to be so tall and sneaking around like a secret
20:24exactly I don't see it I've been saying that for years where did you first meet him where did I
20:33first meet Riz Ahmed for legal purposes I've been asked to frame this story like 20 years could
20:42be a little bit more and I'm from Coventry I still live there and I before I did this had
20:48different
20:48vocations mm-hmm one of my vocations was selling tulips let's go with that
20:58that's what beautiful tulips they were right yeah I was a flourish people really like the flowers
21:03every time they get there brother this flower is the best flower I ever smell in my whole life okay
21:09I was in an alleyway with my still best friend till this day and a gentleman comes running into the
21:15alleyway and when you're selling tulips late at night you know everyone's on edge yes
21:18of course go with it guys I look down alleyway and there's Riz Ahmed but he knows Riz Ahmed and
21:28Riz Ahmed
21:28was a little bit nervous about the the activity of floristry in this particular alleyway but to his
21:34credit Riz decided to venture down there to me and my friend and said my brothers I'm about to spit
21:40some bars in the students union would you like to join me and I looked at my friend and said
21:45probably not man these tulips ain't gonna sell themselves but my friend who's a good person
21:51he's a good geezer he said no we should support this guy he looks kind of stressed so we accompanied
21:56him to the students union this is Oscar winning Riz Ahmed 20 years ago and he performed quite okay
22:03ish rap music to a group of six people students union and ten years later when I started doing like
22:12comedy and silly stuff like that he messaged me and he goes but I can ask you a question as
22:18a yeah
22:19he said did you used to sell tulips in an alleyway in Coventry and I said who are you the
22:27police go away
22:30and that's the story of how me and Riz Ahmed I can't I'm gonna miss it this year because I'm
22:42here but but Riz
22:43invites me to like they do Eid in New York they do an Eid banquet and I'm missing it this
22:48year and I'm
22:48very sad but he's so he stalks of the earth flowers yeah on the table and you've worked with another
22:59one of your best friends who's that on this Lumbu hmm because there's this show that I find very
23:05difficult to say so I'm gonna go very slowly Gus Kahn's custom cars quite tricky to say and you do
23:12it
23:12with Lumbu and it is really I know nothing about cars tell me about this show well this show came
23:21about because I do like cars I'm always have when we were younger just growing up in a working-class
23:27family and car the idea of owning a car that was more than 750 pound was a bit of a
23:32dream okay and now
23:33you get to a stage in your career where you can say to people I like cars can we make
23:39a television show
23:39about it please somebody and they were I was lucky enough some say yeah but in my head I always
23:43wanted my best friend to come along on this journey with me my best friend is Lumbu to describe Lumbu
23:48he is a human sunflower are we talking real flowers this time yeah yeah yeah real flowers making sure
23:56I'm from B&Q planet I'm in the ground real legit there he is handsome boy but you know you
24:03you realize
24:04when you bring your friends to make television they don't really respect the rules tell me
24:09no so like if a call time is at 8 30 in the morning and your friend turns up at
24:152 30 in the
24:16afternoon right that probably isn't good good for the rules right yeah looks terrible on me sort of
24:24loving for it what was he doing what was he doing until 2 30 yeah sleeping oh wow yes he
24:30was tired
24:31I respect it I gotta respect it yeah but it's an amazing thing to go on like we've been messing
24:35around since we were kids and then we went on this journey to create this incredible custom car I'd never
24:40done that before but we did realize by the end of the show that he had created a car that
24:46based on his
24:47six foot four length and my 18 stone weight we couldn't fit in there's a custom car somewhere in
24:56the streets of Coventry rotting in a car park if anybody wants it go and take it fun journey really
25:01fun journey I cannot recommend it enough it's I don't know anything about cars but I was howling
25:06by the way you two talk to each other by the way you talking there was something about an exhaust
25:10pipe
25:10didn't know what I was I was in I was in where can people watch I don't know what channel
25:16it's on
25:17but you'll find it it's on discovery plus is it yeah and baked Amazon for sure correct
25:25fine video for bait and you can witness Riz Ahmed I assume go on to win an Emmy because he's
25:32incredible in it support the show it's got proper British flavor it's got proper energy and humor just
25:38enjoy it you got into comedy and before all of this you were a teacher I was a teacher what
25:52kind
25:52of a teacher were you a shit one I just don't believe that what did you teach well is the
26:09thing so
26:11when you do your PGCE yeah specialize in teaching you you you do that in a specific subject or set
26:18of
26:18subjects I never got around to teaching those specific sets of subjects nice so like I was
26:24basically like a really good big brother forward slash that fun uncle around school and I would
26:31like to hope to think maybe that I had contributed in a positive way to the children of Grace Academy
26:35in Coventry if I didn't and you fail your GCSEs I apologize that is the plot to school of rock
26:41without the music yeah can I tell you something yeah your students loved you did they love me they
26:47loved you would you like to say hello to one no stop it I'm gonna cry I'm gonna cry
27:01I'm on
27:03oh
27:03oh
27:04oh
27:04oh
27:04oh
27:04oh
27:04oh
27:04oh
27:05oh
27:09oh
27:09Oh my God!
27:12Are you 25?
27:13Are you 25 now?
27:16You're 25 now!
27:16I love C's!
27:18Oh, wait.
27:20Oh, wait.
27:21Don't worry.
27:24Claudia...
27:24I know. You bought all the brown ones.
27:27What?
27:30Left on the poor white kids at home in Coventry.
27:32I love you too.
27:33Have a seat on the sofa.
27:35Oh, that's brilliant.
27:36Oh, my God.
27:37Hello!
27:43I've loved having a laugh with you, but to hear their stories about how brilliant you were
27:48I don't embarrass you. We've got a bit
27:51weird, but
27:54You were much better than
27:57You're saying because Simran, what did he do for you?
28:00You know what as you see Mr. Khan? Yeah in TV was just like how he was in school. Yeah,
28:06I
28:06I remember the first time I had him in a class. Yeah, he goes, Oi, Simran, come here
28:13And I was like, I thought I was in trouble, right?
28:15He was like, I can't be asked to do the presentation slide next button you sit there and you do
28:20it for me
28:22I was quite shy up until I had Mr. Khan as my teacher and again
28:30He was that fun uncle vibes
28:33Right where he made me feel comfortable and I started to gain a bit of confidence from that but even
28:38After he left knowing what he pursued was enough to inspire myself to pursue
28:45Something different, you know when you come from Coventry and you come from a South Asian background
28:49You're not always pushed to do something creative. So now, you know, I went to uni. I passed
28:54Yeah
29:04You contributed more than you think
29:06Oh
29:07You see
29:07Oh
29:09Come on
29:14How was the family? Are you okay?
29:17Please tell us about Mr. Khan
29:18Why are you sweating so much?
29:21I don't know what I'm allowed to say. I'm not allowed to say in it
29:26No
29:26Brother got tulips in his inside pocket
29:27I don't know what it is
29:31Now you know what it is? This guy
29:33He made us all feel like you can go out and do anything that you want
29:36Coventry's
29:37Coventry's going for tulips
29:39So
29:41Everyone
29:42Well done
29:43Everyone there is some sort of florist of one way or another
29:48No one
29:48No one really thinks of Coventry and thinks
29:50Oh yeah
29:50Like someone's going to come out of there
29:52So to see somebody go out and do it like
29:53I'll be the first one to say it and everyone in Coventry has guzzers back in like
29:57We're super proud of what you've done
30:10Come on
30:21That was beautiful
30:23That was so nice
30:26I never marked a book in my life
30:28But I don't know
30:30It was so lovely
30:32Thank you so much for coming
30:33Thank you, you too
30:34Jo-am, tell me
30:35Your tour
30:36You keep adding more dates
30:38You are playing huge arenas
30:40Pinot file there it is no file I file Pino it's a fun pun it has my gun press a
30:50little difficult so I'm delighted to be here Claudia thank you not every BBC show
30:55would take me with a name like that we're doing huge venues fun or ever so
31:01slightly spray crack yeah sometimes I think it gets a reputation for being
31:05this kind of feral because it's a predominantly female audience okay but
31:13a man messaged me and he was like is it safe for me to come and I was like oh
31:17my
31:17god they obviously think I'm running some sort of cannibalistic like we're putting
31:22men in cauldrons and boiling them and then drinking their bone broth or
31:25something which I would do for Netflix special but no it's great I love it like
31:30I love gigging I love traveling around living out of a suitcase yeah we should
31:34say you broke records for the longest ever standing ovation the Palladium you
31:38broke a different record well Rachel I to play the London Palladium and broker
31:44records mm-hmm it was for wine cells
31:56so maybe they want to stand for me to Rachel but they couldn't because they
31:59are too pissed I love your fans isn't it true that every venue or like I just not
32:06in a bad way I just want to warn you that like have you got white wine have you got
32:09percent and they're like yeah we've got enough and you're like we're similar women
32:14the women coming a little bit you know we like we like a drink yeah a bit of ones like
32:19no it's ADHD like it there's a vibe yeah mentally feral physically groomed you know
32:24we might need out of a being on a weekend that's the vibe of the shop
32:36you know you're talking about wee bricks we're going to need one after this
32:51you're doing one of these shows and you also would like to adopt a dog I bought a house finally
32:57on the
32:57ladder I have a garden lovely I was like I'll obviously I'll rescue a dog because
33:01that's what you do are you adopt also I'm adopted myself so I feel it's only fair to
33:04pay it for it so I would always rescue I would never buy it shame on you having
33:23your own children it is so hard and now I'll probably get rinsed for saying this
33:35but like I was like a blah blah I want to adopt a little and they were like yeah
33:38did you have a car and I was like no I said I have access to an e-scooter
33:44if you don't have a car and I was like they're like you can't adopt a dog I was
33:48like what am I driving it to its piano lessons if you because I couldn't if you
33:53don't have a garden they don't yeah fine then you can have a whole litter hive I
33:59don't know so you have these lovely fans what is the wildest thing your fans have
34:07ever done and one time in the in the Apollo I could sense there was like a
34:12kerfuffle mm-hmm in one of the balconies it's kind of distracting you're like
34:16what's going on you don't stop the show but you're dying to know the tea of what's
34:21yeah yes I know there was a woman taken out again I'm not really selling the
34:26show here I'm worse than you there was a woman taken out by her arms and her legs
34:31I carried out yeah oh lord yeah I was like I'm raging I miss that now that would have been
34:37worth stopping the show for I think her bag fell over the balcony and she was
34:41trying to get us and they were worried she'd fall and I don't know anyway look it's
34:47fine we put seat belts in the balconies there they're strapped now Joanne your
34:55fans are a bit like a cult they love you would you be up for joining one because
34:59I definitely would I have a cult vibe for I'm suggestible I'd be easily like I
35:06think I'm involved in it aloe vera pyramid already which is kind of cult vibes I
35:12like I like the sense of camaraderie yeah and you don't have to die alone you die
35:17in a gang and everyone drinks the poison but I'm such a boozer I'll probably just
35:21completely survive and live I'll wait for I'm going to be dead I'll pop a salpidine and get off my
35:25day
35:26I do my agent won't book hotels near Scientology Centres because he's like
35:31you'll go in yeah I don't like cults yeah don't want to be part of them don't like
35:36reading about them don't love watching Netflix documentaries about them they're scary
35:39you've got a cult vibe me yeah I would I would join oh you as the leader yes your
35:46leader vibes yes yeah I'm very follower vibes yeah your leader guys come on guys
35:55here's the thing tell us about when you went on holiday the first one of me to
36:01America it's work I've never been to America in my life I always thought I'd
36:05struggle to get in so like I tried to get into America as Niall I would be in
36:20Guantanamo Bay for the rest of my life can you imagine that can you imagine that yeah I was in
36:26One Direction
36:30yeah you all laugh but he's not wrong I live there where were you going to Los Angeles okay yeah
36:39and
36:39so I said to my wife and the kids are like this is gonna be an incredible trip let's do
36:42it there
36:42they're like of course let's do it mate and I'm like yo this is exciting let me book somewhere
36:48incredible in the Hollywood Hills I love my wife and my children and then I saw how much it cost
36:54to
36:54somewhere I don't love them that much so I went on the Airbnb list and I found somewhere that looks
37:01sick
37:02and it had an exciting name it was called Topanga is that what yes okay so Topanga Canyon now it
37:09sounds
37:09exciting yeah I went on the list and they had no ratings but it looks sick and it was cheap
37:13no ratings
37:14yeah I know I'm an idiot you've met me now you've been sitting next to me you know how this
37:18stuff
37:18it's terrible and we got to the airport and there's a wonderful driver that was there to pick us up
37:25and he
37:26said so brother where you going and I was like oh he had Topanga he went oh I said why
37:31you say
37:32oh four like that he said brother man I'm saying brother like me you we don't be in Topanga immediate
37:40worrying sign but anyway it's cheap two of the kids are asleep one's vomiting in the back let's
37:45just get to Topanga okay so we're heading up to Topanga and it's very it's very like um up hilly
37:51yeah
37:52there's a lot of altitude and we're traveling there and he's telling me all these terrible stories
37:55about man shit man ain't nothing around here I said where's the hospital he said shit I don't
38:01know man I don't know about nothing around here but we should be here anyway I'm listening to this
38:05geezer bang on and we get to the house pitch black there's all noises of crickets and
38:11I don't know what was going on there all kinds of animals I never heard in my life okay I
38:16thought
38:16there's people in the butcher going so it's pitch black and the instructions to get in this
38:23property are a bit weird yeah you've got to go around the back and there's no lights but there
38:27were like security cameras all over this house right so we're walking around and then my kids
38:34did wherever they're walking this camera's going yeah definitely oh right so my sons are our dad the
38:41cameras following me I said shut up man you don't know what's going on we managed to get in the
38:49house
38:49and my middle son lispy he's called that because he's got a lisp so lispy's in the house you're making
38:55that up no so lispy's in the house now and lispy's like yeah we love him but you know he's
39:00got a lispy so we're in the house
39:05so lispy's in his house and lispy's like his dad lispy gets feelings he's like dad's man dad's
39:11this place is weird dad and I'm like shut up son man your mom's already angry at me there's no
39:15electricity
39:15in the house it's just dark in here anyway so we found a couple lights all the mood light in
39:19but
39:19like lispy's they're touching the walls like dad all the walls hollow I said sometimes walls be like
39:25that son so he's in her house everyone's like trying to settle in to this good vibe okay I'm like
39:32I've got
39:33I've got the feeling my wife's looking like why are your eyes so wide I'm like lispy says there's
39:37something weird in the house I don't know what's going on and so lispy's run up the stairs he's
39:41touching all the walls upstairs and he come back down he goes dad i want to show you something dad
39:49so i've gone upstairs with lispy and my wife is like i should have never married you and then
39:58there's a room uh and he's managed to get it open so it was locked but lisp's money is very
40:04resourceful he's managed to get it open and in this in i swear to god in the center of the
40:11room
40:11was a cabinet a very ornate cabinet no and i was like lisp where you find this because i don't
40:18know it's in
40:23the door but i was yanked on it now because look at what's inside dad he's opened it double-handed
40:33it's gone dad's dad what's all that red stuff no and in this cupboard in the middle of this
40:41already creepy airbnb there are vials of blood lined up all across there he said dad that don't look good
40:52i said that he's not good we left the house immediately i called the driver and the driver
40:59said brother i told you man we ain't supposed to be right here oh my god
41:03they went back together bloody hell
41:10the weird thing is like days later like the airbnb listing was gone so big up lispy
41:19he's the new love of my life yeah genuinely right so we have almost come to the end but before
41:26we
41:26close this is quite a lot of pressure but i just need to ask the first date i think it's
41:32been good
41:32yeah oh yeah we didn't ruin it then no no no no i don't know what we're going to do
41:36for the next date
41:37like graham i can i can sort that out for you but maybe next time i don't know a dough
41:49ball and a drink
41:52if you're still together at the end of the day or you can come and watch my show even if
41:55you like it
41:55or not yeah do you want to come see a musical about divorce i would not yeah we would we'll
42:01do that
42:02awesome great i was gonna say i was gonna be carried out in all fours
42:07from a balcony at the hammers with apollo i can see that
42:10you want to come to yourself with tutors
42:22that is it we are off to play swing ball and talk more about culips i would like to thank
42:28my wonderful guests joanne mcnally oh yes gos con rachel zeglar and naya warren we are back next week
42:41when i'll be joined by jimmy carl chase infinity and lisa kudrow thank you for watching good night
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