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Short filmTranscript
00:08You
00:13We're getting ready to go meet my family or friends. I don't know who's here for me. I'm pumped. I'm
00:20really excited. Yeah, so wish us luck
00:27I
00:28Was the last time you met someone's family. It's been a while. Okay. Do you remember why you like me?
00:32Where'd we go? I see somebody's excuse us
00:40I love you so this is Haley hi Haley
00:47This is Logan. Oh my god, I'm so happy you're here
00:54Here's to Haley cheers, so Haley
00:58She's a Leo. He's a Leo. Oh my god. What's your birthday? Here we go again with the star talk.
01:03Yeah, I don't believe in that
01:04Remember, we don't believe yeah, okay
01:06So anyways, we became best friends and she did not know how old I was
01:11How old did you think I was when we were hanging out? Maybe five years older than me
01:15And I told her and she laid in fetal position cuz I was shot
01:19Really? Yeah, she looks good. I mean, so Logan did not know my age. So how old are you?
01:23Wait, let's tell her our story first. Okay. Let's tell her our story first. Yeah, so we tell her how
01:28we met
01:30You want to go?
01:31I'm an interrupter. Yeah, she interrupts me a lot
01:35So yeah, we met at this retreat and the whole point of the retreat was like, you know
01:40Go in nothing about age. I'm talking about age. That's that was like the goal and out of all the
01:46women there
01:46I connected with Vanessa the most and I wanted to continue, you know, seeing it out
01:51Obviously, I just felt like we had a connection and and then after that we moved in together. Yeah
01:56Okay, now we're here. How is that? How is that up? Yeah, I'm living with Vanessa. It's been fun
02:03I mean, she's she's
02:06You could tell she's a strong independent woman
02:10You know, I try
02:12But it looks like I think I'm doing a good job. I don't know. I mean, we have our ups
02:16and downs, but it's good
02:17And I think tell me tell you all that I think I was a town
02:20You know, it's like we I mean, we're too fiery like we have a very fiery person out
02:24You're a leader like, you know, we do fight. I'm not gonna lie
02:27I mean, we kind of tell each other how it is and you know how we feel like he kind
02:32of matches my
02:32Energy and I match his energy. Yeah, now we're just you know, then we can get to the age
02:37We're not getting to the age yet
02:39You wanted to get to the age early on
02:41Well, you're sorry chops goes in so many pieces
02:44I know I'm sorry
02:45I'm sorry
02:46Say this. What do you want me to say?
02:48Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really excited
02:49Is this like that fighting up that I'm seeing right now?
02:52The fieryness?
02:53Yeah, because it's like say this say this. Oh, don't talk about it. Hey, talk about the age. Oh, don't
02:57talk about it
02:57All right, say what you want to say. Guess how old you are. Okay, just guess how old you are
03:00I want her to guess 38
03:03One more
03:04How old are you?
03:06I'm 29
03:08Are you screaming crying throughout?
03:11No
03:11Here's the thing though, here's the thing
03:12You guys are best friends though
03:15Vanessa's young
03:17No, and that's why we click so well like even like when we're in the apartment
03:20I don't feel the age difference, you know, but then sometimes it's like
03:25If you go out and like this conversation you get reminded of it and it's like that part's hard, but
03:30it's like
03:30Everything else is really
03:31When I think of Vanessa, I mean, I feel like we're the same thing
03:34Right, right, right, right
03:35But what I want to say is like I think it's so cool. My best friend is 32
03:39Yeah
03:39And my best guy is 29
03:41Like
03:42Best guy
03:42And I'm 49
03:43Top of the roster
03:44He's the top of the roster
03:45He's my only one
03:46Stop
03:48You're the only one
03:49Oh my gosh
03:50What?
03:51I just, it's crazy
03:53You know, I wasn't happy to see Haley's reaction to like how old I actually am
03:59I'm constantly reminded of the age gap
04:02With my parents, with the outside world, now with Haley, and you know, it's tough
04:08It's the reality of, you know, our life together so far, so
04:12Hopefully Vanessa's saying good things, but you know, you never know
04:17Obviously you know my dating history
04:18Yes
04:19I want to hear like what your impression of him was
04:21I, I don't know, like, I thought it was kind of weird
04:25The way you guys like literally got like these like little mini fights
04:30Yeah
04:30Like what's going on there? Is it like in a fun way or is this in like a bad way?
04:35I know
04:36Okay, does this remind you of any relationships of mine?
04:39All of them
04:39Yes, I know, seriously
04:42So at some point I'm like, is this me? Or is this him? Or do I just pick really strong
04:47personnel?
04:48I don't know, I don't like that
04:49Yeah
04:49And I think that the meeting, obviously this is a strange situation
04:54But that was bad fights, just a bad interaction
04:58Okay
04:59He literally had a mini fight with you like twice while we were sitting here
05:02Yes
05:02Like that's weird
05:03Yeah
05:04Do you think that's weird?
05:05Yeah, so that's what I want to talk about
05:06So we move in together, I thought we were friends
05:09And like then finally like it got to be more than friends
05:12But like
05:13Wait, you move in together and you feel like you guys are just friends
05:15For like the first couple of days he was like sleeping with a pillow in between us and saying his
05:20prayers at night
05:21I mean that seems like significant
05:22It's just like these dumb little things that make me think he's still a little childish
05:26You know?
05:27I mean 29 but I think like I look at you and you're 32 and I don't feel like an
05:32age difference between you and I at all
05:34Like you're that person like you need to fight
05:36But that's all I'm hearing is like unflash
05:38I know!
05:39Me too!
05:39And at first I was like
05:40Me too!
05:41I was excusing them as like yellow fight
05:43Are you like ready to take this home like to the next level?
05:47Like you want to continue this relationship?
05:49So
05:50I mean obviously things would be different
05:53Yeah
05:54Sure
05:54So for me I feel like
05:58Honestly
06:00This thing that we've been through has bonded us together
06:03Yeah
06:03Like in a way that like I've never been with anyone else, you know?
06:07In the beginning it was great
06:09And then it got a little lukewarm
06:11And then it was bad
06:12And then it was good
06:13And now I'm just like where am I?
06:15Like it's been like
06:15So
06:16I've been running in circles with it
06:19Do you think it's his age or do you think it's his personality type?
06:22It's sounding to me that it could be just a little bit of both
06:26Yeah
06:28Maybe he's like having an issue with the age and that's why he's so hot and cold
06:33Yeah
06:33And like causing these problems
06:36I know
06:37Yeah
06:37So like
06:39Yeah
06:39So should he like take that ring off your finger?
06:43In relationships Vanessa normally wants somebody super outgoing, the life of the party
06:50I think she needs somebody a little bit younger
06:53Somebody who's still outgoing, fun, not a lot of baggage
06:56But at the same time that's kind of like where things might come into a problem because he is those
07:03things
07:03So, you know, do I think this is the best thing for her?
07:07I'm not sure
07:08No, we can't take this for granted anymore
07:14I'll leave everything I want or I'll be
07:19This is the last stand of love
07:21Oh, parachute pants
07:24Not really
07:25I like these
07:26They are not parachute pants
07:27They're just...
07:29That was the year I was born
07:30Oh my god, awesome
07:32Good to know
07:34Um, I went to breakfast with my sister
07:39And kept asking me about age and stuff
07:41And I told her
07:45Okay
07:45It's important for them to know
07:48Yeah, but like they don't know me
07:49But I know you
07:51So they need to know about who you are
07:53I just...
07:55It's hard for me to sort of like understand how they could like accept me given all of those like
08:02very different circumstances
08:05I would think that they would be like, how can you know that you feel the way you do?
08:12I think my people are going to be a little bit more cautious
08:17I know my kids, I know that they want me to be happy, they want me to find someone
08:24Um...
08:25You know, they love me
08:30So they...
08:34You know, I can't imagine that they'd be like...
08:38Against what I want, but...
08:41Mm-hmm
08:42I don't know
08:44I mean, it's...
08:47Yeah, I think the more we talk about it, the more scared I get
08:50Because I'm worried that...
08:51That something I can't control is going to fuck this up
08:55I get it
08:57I don't want to get blindsided
08:59I just need to know from you
09:00Is it worth it for me to continue to invest in this?
09:07Do you think we can navigate that backlash together?
09:11I mean, this is just really hard
09:15But it's just like, I wish we didn't have this stupid complication
09:20What complication?
09:21Like just the worry about people's perceptions and judgments and age stuff
09:26But it's a complication on your side
09:29I'm only stressed about it because you're stressed about it
09:31And you're so stressed about it
09:35Emotions are running high
09:38I know I'm gonna make my face
09:46You said time?
09:48Mm-mm
09:49We're meeting somebody
09:50I'm like a viper
09:51Nervous as shit
09:52Hey!
09:54Don't call me out like that
09:55You're nervous too
09:57I am, very
09:58No lie, no lie
10:00I said no lie, no lie
10:04I'm happy to see you actually
10:06I'm so happy
10:07You didn't expect to see me?
10:08No, so happy
10:09Oh my god, well I gotta get my hat
10:11I'm super excited to see my best friend and my cousin
10:15Good to see you
10:16Hi, nice to meet you
10:18Nice to meet you as well
10:19I'm good, I'm good
10:20What is your name?
10:21Pfeiffer
10:21Pfeiffer
10:22Raycherice, nice to meet you
10:24Nice to meet you
10:24She's seen me at low points
10:27So she's protective of me and, you know, my feelings and my heart
10:31So I definitely know she's gonna have some tough questions
10:35Derek is definitely a pivotal point of my life
10:38So I'm just wanting to see how you guys connect
10:41Have you guys talked about any future plans?
10:45Or have you thought about any future plans?
10:47Yeah
10:47Yeah, we have
10:48So she's currently in Seattle
10:51Oh, Seattle, nice
10:52Okay
10:53And like her contract where she's working is up in three months
10:56Wow
10:57Wow
10:58All right timing
10:59Okay
10:59All of that's lined up
11:00So we talked about obviously me having the boys, right?
11:04Yeah
11:04So she's open to moving because obviously I'm stationary, I can't
11:07Correct
11:08And you are living in Seattle currently
11:10Yes
11:11So that would be a big move for you
11:13Yes
11:13If you were to move to Texas
11:14It would be
11:15I'm originally from Pittsburgh
11:17Okay
11:18So I moved from Pittsburgh to Seattle by myself
11:21Nice
11:22A big, I mean, cross-country change
11:26But I've always been the type of person to kind of go for that sort of adventure
11:31And I like change, especially, I mean, be a good reason
11:35Don't worry
11:36It definitely changed
11:37It was very important for me to establish that when I'm moving to Dallas, like, I do want
11:43to be like, fight for it
11:44Like, I still want to be myself
11:45Correct
11:46My group of people
11:47Correct
11:48Because you can't rely on just one relationship to be your only relationship in your life
11:55Because that's a lot of pressure for one person to be everything
11:57And that's kind of what I was gearing towards too
12:00Yes
12:00Considering the kiddos
12:01It's like, how do you feel about
12:03Yeah, I mean, I knew right when I started talking to Derek that he had children and that's
12:09like, very important to me
12:10Correct
12:10And I knew that he wouldn't be able to move, but I am in the position where I can
12:15Okay
12:15And I take, I mean, I take family seriously
12:18I really want a big family with lots of kids
12:20Yeah?
12:21I'm assuming you don't have kids
12:22No, I don't
12:23Okay
12:23And so you want a big family
12:24Yes
12:25You would be okay with kind of incorporating yourself into a family
12:28Absolutely
12:28Yeah
12:29Awesome
12:30More people to love
12:32Exactly
12:33Yeah
12:34And remind me, I don't know, how old are you?
12:37I'm 23
12:40Okay
12:40Yeah
12:42I did not know that
12:43Yeah
12:44We did a little bit different
12:46A little far apart
12:47Yeah, we didn't know
12:48We had no concept of each other's age
12:50Um, but it, yeah, I really have no
12:52I have no person
12:53Like, I have no issue with age gaps
12:55Um, I'm, I'm really, I am about like, who is the person
12:59Who, correct
13:00Because it doesn't matter
13:01I've been in alignment with her life
13:02Yeah
13:02But have you dated someone with kids?
13:05I, no, I have never dated anybody with children
13:08Okay
13:09Um, I guess my biggest point of reference was, well, my parents were split up when I was really young
13:15Um, and my dad was like, basically a single dad
13:17Yeah
13:18So I had a lot of personal experience with like, the step parent figure
13:23Okay
13:24Um, I think there's definitely a way to go about, um, being, like, we've talked about being introduced
13:30Yeah
13:30To his, his children, um, and I think it's really important to take the time before doing that
13:36Yeah
13:36Um, because I know how it's impacted me meeting people quickly, um, like the women that my dad was with,
13:43um, I would never want to put Derek's children in that situation
13:47And it seems like you're very understanding
13:49Right
13:49Which is, honestly, a very amazing characteristic, you know?
13:53But being like, in the real world
13:56Totally
13:56Of things where it's like, hey, we only plan quality time
13:59Right
13:59Once a month
14:00Well, Dom is calling now
14:02Yeah
14:02And he's saying, hey, I miss you, Dad
14:04Right
14:05And Derek goes with his son, how would that kind of look?
14:10Like, yeah, if I feel like time is not being made, it, I would just bring it up
14:14And I would say, like, yeah, like, I'm feeling, like, can we get, like, one date in the books?
14:20A month
14:20Correct
14:20I don't need, I don't need a ton
14:22You're not asking for every day
14:24Yeah
14:25Piper's 23?
14:29I, that, that's, that's, that's, that's a gap
14:34What does that really look like long-term?
14:38Because 10 years from now, she could be a completely different person than she is today
14:42And maybe those things that Piper mentioned she was okay with, maybe she wouldn't be okay with five years from
14:48now
14:48Who knows?
14:49I think these are questions that are something to kind of think about
14:54Absolutely, yeah
14:55We need to see when that storm hit
14:57Right, what it looks like
14:58What does it look like?
14:59Right, absolutely
14:59And it will, it'll hit, like, that's, that's just life in general
15:04Let me fade away to the night
15:12How are you feeling?
15:15Mm, I'm okay, it could be better
15:18Do you wanna, do you wanna talk a little bit?
15:21I mean, I don't, I don't know, do you wanna talk?
15:26Yeah, actually, I'd like to tell you how I'm feeling a little bit
15:28Okay
15:28You wanna sit down?
15:29Yeah, just give me a blankie
15:31I have never been broken down this much in a relationship
15:35And I've never felt so exhausted in moments in relationships
15:37But I care about Leah so much, and I care about the connection that we've made
15:41I want to make this work, and move forward
15:45I wanna talk, and all I really wanna talk about was just to remind you that I see you
15:49And that I know that this is hard on you, just like this is hard on me, this whole process
15:55But I want to be honest about the fact that the overbearingness, it's quite literally driving me nuts
16:04Maybe I just think of it a little differently
16:06I think I'm more of a, I'm trying to do like a we thing, but then it's like I feel
16:11like you keep doing a me thing
16:13Which is cool
16:13Well, I think it goes back to the fact that you don't want to be left alone, which I understand
16:19I think what you realize is like, I'm left alone a lot, I'm a flight attendant, we're alone all the
16:25time
16:26Like trust me, when I'm alone, I'm alone, and I have no problem with it
16:31But it's like, I just don't understand, I don't know what is healthy for you and healthy for me
16:37And then like find us our healthy place
16:39I'm, I'm struggling, like I'm really, really struggling
16:42I know, I see it, and that's why I'm like, I don't, that's why for me it's like, I don't
16:46know what to do for you
16:48And like, I want you to be like your happy, healthy self
16:51I just, I don't know, I just, I miss what it was like at the retreat
16:54I know
16:56And like, I miss the way you looked at me
16:59I do
17:02I, I, it hurts me to hear that like, you feel that I'm looking at you that way
17:08Because I really am trying, my absolute heart is to make sure you feel loved
17:14Like I really am
17:15I'm just telling you that I won't leave this without giving all that I got
17:21That's, that's what I'll tell you, you know
17:23And I, and I believe that you won't either, so I appreciate you hearing me
17:27Yeah
17:27No, thank you for having this conversation with me
17:30Yeah
17:31I know
17:31Let's just take it day by day
17:32We're good
17:38Thank you
17:40Thank you
17:40We'll figure this out
17:47We'll figure this out
17:50Easy
17:52Delicious
17:53So good
17:55Having my friends meet Libby
17:57Really put things into perspective for me
17:59I mean, integrating a 22 year old girl into my life is definitely concerning
18:06We live on different coasts, different time zones
18:09Kids, work, life, and what happens when we're back to all of that
18:17So remember when we were like talking and you were telling me how you wish that you would have
18:23Taken more time between college and the real world
18:27Mm-hmm
18:28And like traveled or moved abroad or something
18:32Mm-hmm
18:33I don't know, it's just been like on my mind, like
18:35I know we have the commitments, honey, coming up
18:41Mm-hmm
18:42And I feel like the closer we get to that, the more I've been in my head
18:45Mm-hmm
18:46About like, is there a future with us? Are we aligned? Is our age gonna be more of a factor?
18:53Mm-hmm
18:54I just know like when I was 22, I wasn't ready to be in a serious, committed relationship and I
19:03knew that
19:03So, it was just, I don't know, it's been something that's on my mind
19:07I'm like if there's more life that you feel like you need to go and live and like, do it
19:12by yourself
19:13Mm-hmm
19:14Like I would understand that
19:16To me, I don't view it as that, I'm not like, oh, this is somebody who's gonna take away from
19:20my life
19:20And they're gonna expect me to, um, be a certain way or not travel, not have fun, not see my
19:29friends, whatever
19:30I don't see it like that, I feel like you add to my life, I mean, I've already had so
19:34much fun with you
19:35And like, to me, that's experiencing life
19:38I know I'm a lot of fun, like right now
19:41I am more boring at home
19:43Yeah
19:43I don't go out that much
19:46There's definitely, my life is more, just like established and settled
19:51And I think that's always been an issue with me when I date like, you know, younger
19:55It's like, am I holding you back from, you know, I guess what I wanted in my 20s
20:01I don't know, like obviously I'm only 22, but I don't think I'm as crazy as you might think
20:07The most important things to me in my life have been stability and my friends and my family
20:13And, you know, like, my career and keeping myself on track and all that stuff
20:18Like, that's what feels good in life to me, not being crazy
20:23Part of something I wanted to experience was a stable relationship with a normal person
20:29An old guy
20:30Really old
20:31Really old guy
20:32Really old person
20:33I think it's just hard to hear a lot of hesitation from him
20:38And I guess it hits me differently now that I've like, opened up to him fully
20:43There is a part of me that is nervous that
20:48If we get to the next step and we're outside of here
20:52These doubts and reservations will just continue
20:54And at that point we will be fully in and that will only get harder
21:02Everything we're getting on the side
21:05Finally the way it is on the side
21:08Sipping on up the shadows
21:11You mean me?
21:12No, I'm good
21:13You're good?
21:13Yeah, for now
21:15So, you got to meet my friend, which I'm so happy because
21:19How ironic, like, my best friend and you are like the same age
21:23It's pretty on brand
21:24Yeah, yeah
21:25I did not expect it
21:26I expected nothing less of your best friend
21:29Yeah
21:29I expected her to be young, vibrant, just like you
21:30Yeah
21:31It was cool to see you with your girl, you know?
21:34Like, you were shining as always
21:36I'm so happy
21:36What do you think her honest opinion is of me in this?
21:41I think she was just worried about the fighting thing
21:43Like, less saying the fighting
21:44It kind of alerted her
21:46Yeah
21:46To like, what is this fighting?
21:48What is going on?
21:49Like, is this a big deal type of thing?
21:51Does this, like, define us?
21:53Or are we more than just having, like, little fights, you know?
21:57I mean, you tell me
21:58I mean, I don't want it
21:59What do you think?
22:00No, I don't want it to define us
22:01I don't either
22:02I would like to just be able to, like, elevate both of us to a place where, like, we don't
22:08have to have the fighting anymore, you know what I mean?
22:11Right, right, right
22:11It's just like, it's like a battle of egos, you know?
22:15Like, it's just not healthy, and it's not good, and I don't want to do it
22:18So, I'm like, from this point on, I'm like, I just want to pick the battles, like, if it's not
22:24worth fighting
22:24Right, right, right, right, right
22:25And I feel like today was a good day
22:26Like, you know, we got annoyed with each other, but we're like, whatever, blow it off, you know?
22:30Yeah
22:30So, I mean, do you think, like, eventually, like, just our little quips would be like, that's just Vanessa
22:35I would hope so, yeah
22:36I'd be like, that's just Logan, you know?
22:37Like, I mean, it was funny, because, like, at dinner, like, they were like, is this a fight?
22:40Yeah
22:41No, like, this is literally me talking, and then all of a sudden you going like, no, talk about this,
22:46talk about this, talk about this
22:47And then going in circles, I'm like, Vanessa, what do you want?
22:49I know, I'm always ten steps ahead
22:51Yeah
22:51I know, you are
22:52You're right
22:52Like, you have to see that in yourself
22:53No, and I know that
22:54You know what I mean?
22:55Because my mind is, like, constantly going
22:56But it's like, look, if you want somebody to, and their personality to be their personality, you have to take
23:01a step back sometimes
23:02Both, it goes, yeah, it goes both ways
23:03Right
23:03I'm not saying it's just you, like, there's me, like, I'm, like, push, push, push
23:07Right
23:08And you're, like, ten, you're ten steps behind, and I'm ten steps forward, you know what I mean?
23:12Well, I've just given you the steps
23:13Yeah, I know, I know, you know, but I do feel like, like, I want you to accept me for
23:19how I am, and I want to accept you for how you are
23:21Yeah
23:21So, it's like, we just have to, like, navigate through that
23:26Right
23:28So, hopefully we can figure this out
23:30Yeah, so what's next?
23:32Yeah, yeah, what's next?
23:34I just asked you, you can't ask me that question though
23:36No, I mean, it's like, the question that's hanging in the air, like, where do we go from here, you
23:41know?
23:42Right, what's next is we enjoy the night
23:43Stop it
23:45And we have fun
23:46Mm-hmm
23:47And we light some candles
23:48Okay
23:48Yeah
23:50I'll step out and take this ride
23:52I feel alive
23:53So I'm gonna stand my ground
23:57Got something to believe in
23:59Even if I fall back down
24:03Nothing's gonna stop me now
24:05Cause now I'm fireproof
24:10All right, what's on the happy hour menu?
24:13What do you expect?
24:14Ooh, wine fight
24:19Zero appetite
24:21Zero appetite
24:21No
24:22No
24:22No
24:23No
24:26Here they are
24:27I've got this far inside
24:30Yay
24:30And I'm ready
24:31Oh my God
24:33Mom
24:36How are you?
24:37Good, how are you doing?
24:38It's Richard, right?
24:38Richard, John
24:39John, how are you doing?
24:39Nice to meet you
24:40Oh my God
24:45I keep learning how you're all here
24:47It is crazy
24:48Were you not expecting, like, to come?
24:50How are you guys?
24:51Oh my God
24:51How are you?
24:52Wow
24:52I can't believe you guys are all here
24:54Yeah
24:55Cheers
24:55Cheers, nice to meet you
24:57Yeah
24:57Thanks for coming
24:59Taking the flight
25:00Very happy to
25:01It's been fun
25:03Your mom talks about all you guys
25:05All the time
25:06Obsessively
25:07And I'll say that she's very proud of you guys
25:10Yeah
25:10I'm happy you guys are here
25:12Yeah
25:13And I think she is too
25:14No, I'm not happy
25:16Yeah
25:17Yeah
25:18Well, what made you want to take this journey?
25:23I guess getting out of Miami
25:25Miami is very superficial
25:27And not to talk down on it
25:29But it's hard to make, like, a genuine connection
25:31Um, I came into this experience, like, super open-minded
25:35And ready for whatever came to me
25:39And connected fast
25:40Yeah
25:41For whatever reason, like, we gravitated towards each other from the very beginning
25:45And it's just like our relationship has built more and more
25:49And it's, you know, been very genuine
25:51And he's, like, a nice, safe dude
25:54Yeah
25:55And it's been really great to get to know him
25:58And
25:59Do you, are you guys living together right now, or?
26:02Yeah
26:02Oh, you are?
26:03How's that?
26:04It's been good
26:06He's being a very good boy
26:08He's, like, picking up and, like, doing things
26:11But, yeah, actually, like, probably the one thing that I would say
26:16That bothers me the most
26:18Is that, like, a couple times we've been at, like, a restaurant
26:21And you'll take, like, a paper napkin and you'll just be like
26:24Toot
26:24And I'm like, that's not where that goes
26:27See, I'm learning something now
26:28Small things
26:28Yeah, small things
26:29I feel like I do that
26:30I know
26:31I can't say anything like that
26:32Yeah
26:33Yeah, well
26:33What do you think about, like, having, like
26:35Like, her having, like, older kids, too?
26:38So
26:39We'll
26:40I don't know
26:41We've talked about that, but
26:42Yeah, like, when we revealed
26:46Like, our truths to each other
26:48Age
26:49And, obviously, you guys were a huge part of that
26:51Yeah, of course
26:52Um
26:53He was, like, whatever
26:56Not in, like, a passive, right?
26:58Just, like
26:59Yeah
26:59Yeah
26:59You know, you are who you are
27:00Yeah
27:01And she shouldn't be
27:02And she's not by any means
27:03That she shouldn't be ashamed of that
27:05And you don't want to have kids, I'm assuming?
27:08I don't want kids, no
27:10I've never seen that in my future
27:14Yeah
27:15Yeah
27:16I felt comfortable giving her that answer
27:18Yeah
27:18And that's how I honestly feel, so
27:21That's fair
27:22I mean, I will say the fact that we are all, like, older, though, too
27:25It kind of
27:25You don't have to deal with the BS of, like
27:27I don't know, like, me going to college or, like, paying
27:30I don't know, just paying for the
27:31Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:32Like, the pressure of all that
27:33Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:34I mean, that's part of why I agreed to do this
27:37True
27:37Was because I, you know, obviously
27:39Now that we're all done, yeah
27:40Well, it's not, yeah, I mean, it's not that you're done
27:43Yeah, of course
27:43Like, obviously, I'm always going to be your mom's and be supportive and everything
27:47But it did come sort of at a strange time that this opportunity was, like, literally the day I left
27:55your graduation, right?
27:57Yeah, yeah, yeah
27:57And I remember, like, leaving you guys that day
28:00Yeah, yeah
28:01And crying and being like, what am I doing? What am I doing? You know, like, because I was, like,
28:05having doubts about it and leaving you guys was so hard
28:11Yeah
28:12But, you know
28:14But, I mean, you've always tried to protect us and think about us first, but maybe you've been neglecting yourself
28:20It's important to take care of yourself, too
28:22Yeah
28:22And to do something that's for you and for your future
28:25Yeah
28:28Yeah
28:31Yeah, I mean, that's what I said, you know, in this whole thing was, like, I more or less, like,
28:38finished that chapter
28:40Making sure you guys were, like, sent off on, like, your, like, best way possible
28:45And so now it was, like, a time for me to find, you know, something that was good for me
28:54Yeah
28:54And, like
28:56Your own happiness
28:57Exactly
28:57Yeah
28:59Yeah
28:59How would you envision your ideal future together? Like, um, yeah, I don't, I mean, we don't know
29:08Like, we're, I'm not gonna predict anything
29:12I respected Lauren for caring about her mom and asking those hard questions
29:18I think probably all three of the kids were interested in those answers
29:22I know how important, like, family time is, so I'm going to head back to the apartment
29:27Thanks again for coming
29:28Hopefully we catch up soon
29:30Yes
29:30Good to meet you
29:33Richard
29:33Yes
29:34Very nice to meet you
29:35Thanks again
29:36Yeah
29:36Yeah
29:38Hi
29:38Nice to meet you
29:40Of course
29:41Hopefully see you soon
29:42Yep
29:44I think today went great, but I saw Theresa kind of beat around the bush
29:49I wish she was a little more confident and proud
29:52Yeah, I think John and I are solid
29:54I kind of wish she would have boasted about that a little more
29:59And I think the kids would have probably fed off her energy
30:03Saying like, oh shit, my mom's like, she's really sold on this guy, so
30:06Yeah
30:07I didn't love that lack of enthusiasm
30:12Yeah
30:13What do you think?
30:15What do you think?
30:15You look really happy and I'm so excited for you
30:18Do you see yourself, like, getting married?
30:23I don't know
30:24Yeah
30:25Can't answer that question
30:26You know, you guys have seen me, like, hurt and destroyed and
30:32Yeah
30:33You know, and I don't want you guys to see that again, so I'm being very careful and
30:41But I also want to take your feelings and consideration into my decision making
30:48You know, I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable with any situation that I'm, like, in
30:54So, you know, I want you guys to at all times feel like you can be
31:00I'm not just saying this
31:02No, I know
31:02You can be upfront with me
31:04Yeah
31:04And tell me
31:05Because you are, like, the most important things to me in my whole world
31:12So, can you tell us about his age?
31:16No
31:17I mean, I can, but I don't want to
31:19Why?
31:21Because I really feel strongly that I want you to get to know him like I did
31:26Yeah
31:26You know, we formed a connection based on those deeper qualities
31:31And, like, the more meaningful things
31:33Yeah
31:34And I want you guys to also have that opportunity
31:38Yeah
31:39But I just want that to come at a later stage
31:42Yeah, I just want to make sure you're thinking realistically
31:45Like
31:46I am
31:47The age is going to make a
31:48Right
31:49A big difference when you're out of this whole experience
31:51No, right, trust me
31:53It's a huge thought
32:00Not telling the age is definitely a little weird
32:03I would say I think John is probably more around 35
32:06If John were younger than about 30, it would definitely be more of, like, a surprise to me
32:11And definitely more of a weirder thing
32:13It's just because, like, we're maybe even closer to age than she is
32:16So that's definitely a little strange
32:18He seems really into her
32:21Which I think that's a good sign that they have great chemistry
32:25But I want to protect my mom, obviously
32:27Because she's been in hard relationships for the past 10 years
32:32But I do think realistically
32:33There's a lot of other things that come with the age difference
32:37And I think time will tell if it really will be able to work out in the long run
32:50How are you feeling, ma'am?
32:55Um
32:56Talk to me
32:57Honestly, pretty bad
32:59Okay
33:03I think
33:06Maybe I've been a little bit
33:10Mmm
33:11Overly optimistic
33:12About things
33:14I guess
33:16Okay
33:17Um
33:21Okay, like, this whole time
33:22I've been telling myself
33:23I'm like
33:25I'm moving because I want to move
33:27I'm moving because I don't want to be
33:28Which is true
33:29I don't want to be in Seattle
33:30I don't want to be there
33:31But, like
33:32I'm moving
33:33To basically be with you
33:35Like, that is
33:36That is the truth of the matter
33:38Like, that's what I'm doing
33:41Mm-hmm
33:42And
33:45I have always told myself
33:48I will
33:48I will
33:49I will not change my life for a man
33:51Which
33:52I think my big struggle right now is like
33:55Am I betraying myself
33:59By giving up everything for a relationship?
34:02And
34:04I'm having a hard time
34:06With my own personal
34:09Values
34:11Okay
34:13Um, I also think
34:15Sometimes I just don't need to hear like
34:18Oh, everything's gonna be fine
34:21Because it's not helpful
34:23Um
34:25Because it's like
34:28Like
34:28I'm
34:29I'm
34:30I'm like
34:30Like giving up everything
34:34Which like
34:36And you're
34:36It's not like you're not
34:38But
34:40Like I am
34:42And it's like I don't
34:45Like
34:46Like put yourself in that position
34:49Like
34:50Like
34:50I'm not only
34:51Leaving everybody
34:53And everything I've worked for
34:56But I'm also
34:57Going against
34:58My own values
34:59To do that
35:01Which is not to say that I'm not going to
35:04Or that it's not gonna be worth it
35:07But sitting here
35:10Now
35:10I'm like
35:13What the fuck am I doing?
35:15What the fuck am I doing?
35:16What the fuck am I doing?
35:22I'm sorry that's like
35:24Not very
35:25Positive
35:26Or kind
35:27But
35:28No, it's real
35:29I want you to be honest and real
35:34I'm just like
35:38I'm just scared
35:39I understand
35:41I understand
35:43I think that um
35:45Uncertainty being scared
35:47That's normal
35:48And I know that that's
35:49Extremely uncomfortable for you
35:51And I know it's like
35:52Well
35:52Derek that's easy for you to say
35:54Because you're not the one making
35:56That sacrifice
35:57I get
35:58I get all of that
35:59There is not
36:01Like some word
36:03Or magic formula that I can say
36:05To just make all that go away
36:06That's just gonna be an element of it
36:10But
36:10Change is
36:11Not that
36:12Always
36:13You know
36:13Change is just
36:14More of like
36:16Evolving
36:17And so
36:18Still have your friends
36:19You'll
36:20Have me
36:21You'll have your relationship
36:22You'll have new friends
36:23You'll eventually
36:24You know
36:24Whether you change a career 25 times
36:27It doesn't matter
36:28Like you don't have to know
36:29All the answers right now
36:30You don't have to
36:30Move
36:31Like I don't
36:31I don't want to stress personally
36:33Like just being
36:34Like selfish
36:35I don't want to be stressed out
36:36Like oh my god
36:37If I ever stressed about this
36:38Like I need you to be in a peaceful state
36:41For us
36:42Like that's how we'll flourish
36:43Like just being real
36:44So
36:46Mmhmm
36:47Mmhmm
36:48What?
36:52What?
36:53Nothing
36:54Say it
36:57So you're saying
36:58In order for this relationship to work
37:01Starting off
37:02You need to be making this decision
37:04From a place of peace
37:06Is that correct?
37:11Okay
37:25I tried to keep it simple
37:28Simple never kicks you this
37:32Can't resist
37:35No
37:35I thought I'd forever
37:38Oh this is beautiful
37:39But it's now
37:40I never
37:41KISS
37:43So excited to see everyone
37:45I know
37:46Can't waste another minute
37:49Without a leap of faith
37:52Hi
37:53Look at this
37:54Hi
37:55You guys like
37:55You guys are glowing over here
37:58Hi buddy
37:58Hi buddy
38:00Hey guys
38:06Hi honey
38:08Hi
38:09I miss you so much
38:10You look so beautiful
38:11Yeah
38:14Hey guys
38:15What's up?
38:16How are you?
38:17What's up?
38:18Hi
38:18What's up buddy?
38:30Everybody looks amazing
38:32You guys all look stunning
38:34Can we toast everybody together?
38:36I think no matter what happens beyond this
38:38We've all grown
38:39And we've all become better people
38:40So
38:42You know
38:42One day at a time
38:43Let's just keep moving forward
38:44Whether it's together or apart
38:45I know that this has been a blessing
38:46And I'm very appreciative
38:47Together or apart?
38:48Dang
38:49I agree
38:50I love it
38:51Cheers
38:51Cheers y'all
38:53Cheers you guys
38:54Together or apart?
38:55Better or apart?
38:56Two together
38:57Hello
38:58Hello
38:59Oh
39:00Oh
39:01Hey
39:04Hey
39:04Hey
39:06How are y'all doing?
39:08We're great
39:08Hey
39:09How are you doing?
39:10We're great
39:10We're doing great
39:11It's not about us
39:12It's not?
39:13We're already in love
39:14We're married
39:14We have a baby
39:15Okay
39:15Okay
39:16All the things
39:17So last time we saw you
39:18We dropped a little surprise
39:20Letting you all know
39:21That your friends and family
39:22Were on the way
39:24So no more surprises
39:25That's more of a bomb
39:27Not a surprise
39:28That was a bomb
39:29Well and just like that
39:30This relationship
39:31Wasn't just yours anymore
39:33Yeah
39:33To say the least
39:34You had to open it up
39:36To opinions
39:37To pressure
39:38And to judgment
39:39That's true
39:40And it affected all of you
39:41In different ways
39:42Teresa
39:44I know when we
39:45Kind of dropped that bomb
39:47I couldn't help but notice
39:48Some nervousness
39:50Yeah
39:50Um I was horrified
39:52Scared
39:52And I wasn't expecting it to happen
39:55The way it did
39:56Obviously your kids are older
39:58They're you know
39:59I think
39:59Well I mean I'm very protective of my kids
40:01Okay
40:02They're my kids
40:03However
40:04John was extremely poised
40:07And very articulate
40:08And they asked him
40:10Great hard questions
40:11And he answered them
40:12You know like a baller
40:14And it was great
40:15Was his age
40:17One of the questions
40:18That your kids asked?
40:19Well I was like
40:20Yeah not now
40:21Oh you didn't tell?
40:22No they don't know
40:24Oh so they never told
40:26And they won't know
40:26For a while
40:28Until I decide
40:31What's your reasoning
40:32For not telling your kids
40:34His age?
40:35Because there is a
40:37Gigantic double standard
40:38If he was my age
40:40And I was his age
40:41It would be such
40:42A lesser of a problem
40:44And so I'm going into this
40:46As you know
40:47Really in a difficult position
40:50Because there will be
40:51A lot of judgment
40:52Not on only me
40:53But my kids probably
40:54Their friends
40:55Our community
40:56All of that
40:57And if we're being real
40:59Like and we want to say
41:00Like age doesn't matter
41:01Other than
41:02Why should I have to
41:03Reveal it right now?
41:04Why shouldn't I
41:05Be able to
41:06Let them get to know
41:07Him
41:08Before I say
41:10You know
41:10By the way
41:12He's like
41:13In your age range
41:14Like that's
41:15Going to be awkward
41:16Leah you've been pretty
41:18Expressive over there
41:20Because the whole point
41:21Of this journey
41:22Is to let everyone's
41:24Family know
41:25How old were the people
41:26That were dating
41:27That's the whole point of it
41:28So I didn't know
41:28That there was a choice
41:29That will come
41:29I mean it doesn't have to happen
41:31When somebody else
41:32Tells me it has to happen
41:33But it's going to happen
41:34Regardless
41:35Yeah of course
41:37Why hide it now?
41:39Like
41:40I'm not hiding it
41:42I'm trying to be strategic
41:43In letting my kids
41:45Get to know him
41:47As I did
41:48They will find out
41:49When they find out
41:51And it's nobody's
41:53Choice or decision
41:54To do that
41:54Except for he and I
41:55I just thought like
41:56We had to divulge it
41:58At the end of the day
41:59You know I thought
41:59That was the whole goal
42:00It was like
42:01We're not ashamed of it
42:02I'm not ashamed of how old he is
42:03I'm not ashamed of it
42:05I just need some water
42:07It's really none of your business
42:08It's not my business
42:09It's just
42:10It's not
42:10It's going to come out
42:11One way or another
42:11It's none of your business
42:12Yeah
42:12I understand
42:16No I'm sorry
42:16I'm still going to have a voice
42:17But it's just
42:18I understand that
42:19You're coming from a different
42:19Well you can have
42:20Your voice that goes in your head
42:21Not verbally
42:22No
42:22It's the voice that's going to be said
42:24Well I don't need to hear it
42:25Oh I'm sorry
42:26It just got sad
42:29All I can say is
42:30Don't fucking come for me
42:31Cause I will
42:37Let's stay respectful guys
42:39We're good
42:44I think for clarity
42:45Friends and family were coming to meet the person that you committed to
42:50And how many of those details you include is up to you
43:04You shared space
43:06You shared lives
43:08You faced judgment
43:10And you found ways to stay connected
43:13But now
43:14It's decision time
43:17Tonight
43:18Tonight
43:18Is your last night together
43:22Tomorrow morning
43:23You will wake up
43:25Next to the person
43:25You've lived a life with here
43:27But then
43:28You have to say goodbye
43:30Because from that moment on
43:32You will be on your own
43:33No more shared space
43:36No more comfort
43:37In each other's presence
43:39Just time to sit with your heart
43:41Your doubts
43:43And your decision
43:48The next time you see each other
43:51It will be to speak your truth
43:53And to decide
43:54Do we move forward together?
43:57Or do we walk away?
43:59Each of you will make one final journey
44:01To a mountaintop overlooking a place where it all began
44:06Up there you'll stand face to face
44:08And ask
44:10Do you keep those promise rings?
44:12And commit to taking this leap together?
44:15Or do you take them off?
44:17And choose a different path?
44:19Alone?
44:24This sucks
44:31You've all got a lot to think about
44:33No
44:37It's just not
44:38Fair
44:49You're 22
44:51I'm 38
44:53That's a big gap
44:56The truth is
44:57No matter how much
44:58I doubt
44:59The age gap
45:01I don't doubt
45:02The way I feel
45:04When I'm with you
45:06If we were to stay together
45:08I may regret it
45:10For the rest of my life
45:12I'll always protect you
45:14And I'll always protect your hearts
45:16Viker I truly love you
45:17I'll let go
45:19And I'll see you again
45:20It's a huge commitment
45:22To say that this person
45:26Who's 27 years younger than me
45:28Is my boyfriend
45:28I need you to believe that age is just a number
45:32But also believe in me
45:34That every day I'm gonna show up
45:35And work on this together
45:37I love you
45:40I can see myself growing with you
45:42You lit something inside of me that
45:45I thought was gone
45:47I think we've both made a decision
45:48That will impact
45:50Our lives and our families
45:51And I just hope and pray
45:53That's the right one
45:54He's like in the prime of his life right now
45:56Honestly
45:57And why would he give that up
45:59For someone 20 years older than him?
46:02Is this a party break up with?
46:04I need the promise ring back
46:16Do I cross your mind?
46:18Don't wanna
46:20Find another
46:24Trying to forget
46:25But if I let go
46:27Will I see you again?
46:31Can we go back in time?
46:37Would it be such a crime?
46:42To look at this side to side?
46:44To look at this side to side?
46:47I'm trying again
46:49One more time
46:53So I step
46:56To the sun up
46:59I'm waiting for a sign
47:01If I let go
47:03Will I see you again?
47:16If I let go
47:19Will I see you again?
47:55If I let go
47:59Go
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