00:01need help now
00:03my ex-boyfriend listed me as a reference for a job
00:06when we were dating because I used to be his boss
00:09we won't get into that
00:11I guess he forgot to take me off
00:13because I just got an email
00:15asking to set up a phone call to discuss him
00:17with a potential future employer for him
00:21now we had a mutual breakup
00:23and we only want the best for each other
00:26that's good
00:26this job would be huge for him
00:29and I know I would give him a killer review
00:31because he truly is an incredible worker
00:33and would be great in this job
00:35but also we dated
00:37so do I just ignore that fact
00:40and give him a great reference
00:42or do I respond via email
00:44admitting the relationship
00:46and recusing myself from giving a reference
00:48on those grounds
00:50okay
00:51oh I have thoughts
00:53okay what are you thinking Donnie
00:55suck it up and give him the reference
00:57what are you doing
00:59I would send an email
01:02you never know
01:03employers might be checking social media
01:05and if your name and face shows up on his pages
01:08snuggling in a booth somewhere
01:10it's gonna look bad
01:11so I would send an email
01:13in which you are endorsing him as a candidate
01:16whilst also admitting to
01:19you know you're saying hey listen
01:21we have a previous personal relationship
01:23so I don't feel that
01:25this is a comfortable thing for me to do
01:27however I want to let you know
01:28that I think he's a great blah blah blah blah
01:29this employee
01:30I think he'd be great for the job
01:31but I think out of respect for this process
01:33I should not be involved
01:34so you are giving a reference
01:36yeah
01:37without giving a reference
01:38does that make sense
01:39I have to disagree with both of you
01:41what
01:41so
01:42petty
01:43well yeah
01:44call you Tom Petty
01:46anyone I've ever dated
01:47I've deleted
01:49like out of my life
01:51really
01:51yes
01:52even if it was mutual
01:54and fine
01:54and all that stuff
01:55we're not
01:56we were only
01:57I only knew you
01:58as a romantic interest
02:00now you're not that to me anymore
02:01so like
02:02you're
02:02see ya
02:03muted on Instagram
02:05and all that stuff
02:05so if I got this
02:07I think I would just
02:08either ignore it
02:10or just say
02:11hey
02:11sorry
02:12I cannot give a reference
02:14to this
02:15mmm
Comments