Welcome to Unfiltered Stories! Today, our guest Kevin Boyd shares his life story with us. Having experienced CSA at the hands of his father, he endured so much pain from a young age.
After years of struggle, as a changed man, he was able to find the strength to forgive his father. His healing journey empowered him to confront the haunting memories of his childhood. He now shares his inspiring story to inspire and help others break free from the chains of their past.
#Inspiring #Childhood #TrueStory #survivalstory #trauma #truecrime
Follow Kevin on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.boyd.718
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
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After years of struggle, as a changed man, he was able to find the strength to forgive his father. His healing journey empowered him to confront the haunting memories of his childhood. He now shares his inspiring story to inspire and help others break free from the chains of their past.
#Inspiring #Childhood #TrueStory #survivalstory #trauma #truecrime
Follow Kevin on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.boyd.718
Thank you for watching Unfiltered Stories! We offer a platform for our guests to speak openly about their life stories and journeys, shedding light on the challenges they faced and the resilience they've shown.
Our mission is to raise awareness about survivors by delving into their stories, exploring the impact of their experiences, and how they've managed to heal and rebuild their lives.
By sharing these stories, we aim to break the silence surrounding those challenging memories and create a compassionate environment.
🌅 FOLLOW US 🌅
Facebook âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredFB
TikTok âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredTT
Snapchat âž® https://tinyurl.com/UnfilteredSN
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NewsTranscript
00:00My name is Kevin Boyd. By trade, I am a hairstylist of 40 years. I am 57 years old.
00:08I grew up in Los Angeles, a very small family, father, mother, one brother.
00:14Church was a very integral part of my life. And in my family, church was very important.
00:20My mother was a Christian, and so going to church was not an option.
00:24You had to go, and you had to go every Sunday. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Sometimes I didn't.
00:32I began to draw to my mother. And I didn't really draw to my father because my father wasn't the
00:40very nurturing type.
00:41My mother was very much the nurturing type. So I just felt more connected to my mom.
00:48Being that my father wasn't really, you know, he was there physically, but not emotionally and not spiritually.
00:56Even as far as like going to church and stuff, he just wasn't. He just wasn't in anything.
01:03He was just there physically in no other way. It all starts when I was five years old.
01:09This particular day, I was in kindergarten, and I was really sick. So I had to go home. I had
01:16a fever out of this world.
01:18My mother is an elementary school teacher. So, of course, she was gone during the day.
01:23So the only person that could take care of me was my father, who was a bartender.
01:28So he was on during the day. She was home at night.
01:32So I knew that my dad was going to pick me up and take me home.
01:38Even at five years old, I was excited to spend a day with my father.
01:44Because remember, he wasn't the nurturing type.
01:46So in my little five-year-old mind, I'm saying, oh, I get to spend a day with my daddy.
01:52I was really excited.
01:53The fever was so extreme that he had to remove my clothes.
01:58Again, I remember like it was yesterday.
02:01So he removed my clothes, right? And then he said, lay on top of me.
02:05Even in my five-year-old brain, I'm thinking, something doesn't seem right.
02:10But of course, I'm five years old, so I did it, right? Of course I did.
02:14But I'm thinking in my five-year-old brain, I don't know if I should be laying on top of
02:19my daddy with no clothes on.
02:21A lot of times, perpetrators and abusers, pedophiles, a lot of times, they don't fully molest their victims in the
02:30first onset.
02:32It's a grooming process.
02:33And I'm saying that because that's what happened to me.
02:37The first time, it was just lay on top of daddy.
02:40So that became normal.
02:42And then over time, things progressed.
02:45To touch this, touch that, do this, do that.
02:48It was a grooming. It was very much a grooming.
02:51And this went on through my teen years.
02:54And then it went on to, you know, touch his private area, you know, rub it, you know, and so
03:01on and so forth.
03:02And then it went to oral sex.
03:05A couple of times, he did try to penetrate me.
03:09And for some reason, for some reason, I was able to be like, okay, now you've been going too far.
03:16We're not doing all that.
03:17That didn't happen, even though he tried.
03:20He attempted a couple of times, but I just wasn't going for that.
03:23I was like, well, he's just going to have to beat me if it comes down to it.
03:28But we're not doing that.
03:30Again, it went on through my teen years because I was scared.
03:33And I know a lot of people say, well, you were a teenager.
03:36You should have been able to fight him off or this or that and the other.
03:39Well, there were some times when I tried to hang out outside with my friends and he would make me
03:46come in the house.
03:47You know, when my mom was gone, I said, well, I could just hang out till mom comes on.
03:51But there were times when he made me come in the house.
03:54So I was stuck.
03:55But it wasn't just that.
03:57It was the fact that he told me if I ever told anybody, he would kill me.
04:02That put a chokehold on me.
04:05I tell you, it was it was a prison.
04:07My mother knew that I wasn't very fond of my father, but she never really investigated it.
04:14The reason that I didn't share anything is because I said, what would be the repercussions if I told I
04:23said two things?
04:24I said it could possibly break up the family.
04:27They could get a divorce and it'd be all my fault or he would kick my butt like he said
04:33he would.
04:34So I'm just going to shut my butt up and suffer in silence.
04:37In my opinion, a child to be well balanced needs the love of a father and a mother because my
04:47father didn't give me that.
04:49I gravitated to my mother.
04:50I wanted to be like my mother in every single way.
04:54My mother went to the beauty salon.
04:56I went to the beauty salon.
04:58My mother went shoe shopping.
05:00I went and picked out her shoes.
05:02My mother cleaned up the house and I'm going to help her clean up.
05:05My mother's cooking.
05:06I'm going to help her cook.
05:07Now, remember, I hated my father.
05:09So, of course, I didn't want to be anything like him.
05:12And it's so funny because I end up being a hairstylist.
05:15And so in my teen years, I became very promiscuous.
05:20And the issue with that was that I was looking for love in all the wrong places.
05:25My only relief was of a sexual experience.
05:29Lust is never satisfied.
05:31And so the problem with that is it's equivalent to like a crackhead.
05:35You get that high the first time and then you're continually chasing it and you just you just you're left
05:42broke.
05:43You're left empty.
05:44You know, it's never worth it.
05:46I was acting out.
05:47I was looking for something.
05:49I didn't even know what I was looking for, but I was trying to find a comfort in something.
05:54It got worse as time went on.
05:56You know, my mother found out, you know, I was gay and everything and she didn't approve of it.
06:01One time she told me she wished she never had me.
06:04I had enough sense to know that that was one of those things that your emotions and your anger take
06:10over you in the moment.
06:11I knew my mother didn't really mean that in her heart.
06:14I knew my mother.
06:15If I don't know anything else, I know my mother loved me.
06:19So I know that was just a disappointment and just a shock.
06:23But I still I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that my mother loved me.
06:28It got worse because I met my first gay friend, adult friend.
06:33So now I'm not just having sex.
06:36I'm going to gay clubs.
06:38I'm smoking weed.
06:39I'm drinking.
06:41So again, it was like a bandaid, but I wasn't healed.
06:45And so I went through this cycle, just continuous, trying to feel something.
06:51And, you know, drugs and sex and all these material things, they will not produce happiness.
06:56They will not produce wholeness.
06:59They were only band-aids.
07:01Then you get worse.
07:03You get more involved.
07:04You know, you have alcoholic tendencies, you know, and you got to be careful with weed because it's a gateway.
07:12It could lead to other drugs.
07:14Thanks, thank the Lord.
07:15I wasn't really tempted by the other stuff, but I was definitely a wholeness head.
07:22I mean, smoked it all day, all day long in between clients.
07:26I mean, it was just ridiculous.
07:29Now with my hair career, it was a blessing and a curse at the same time because having that type
07:36of money, I was able to afford my habits.
07:39You know, live not very responsible.
07:43I'm living this life, hanging out, partying, doing all this stuff.
07:47Mind you, remember, I was raised in church.
07:51So the whole scope of this, I've always been involved in church.
07:56And I've always been in music ministry, singing in the choir, I've sung for gospel artists, I've recorded background, all
08:05that stuff.
08:06So music is an integral part of my life and it always has been.
08:11So just imagine all this stuff that I'm going through.
08:14I'm still getting up, going to church every Sunday, singing in the choir.
08:18So my whole life has just been an oxymoron.
08:23Unfortunately, I have some experiences in the church that should not have happened.
08:31So remember, at 16, 17, 18, I was very promiscuous.
08:37So there was two occasions where my innocence was taken advantage of by ministers in the church.
08:44I was not molested.
08:46I was not raped.
08:48I knew what I was doing at that age.
08:51But I was also young.
08:53I was also looking for love and validation.
08:57So these two particular individuals, they capitalized on the fact that I was young and dumb.
09:04And I was fascinated because this minister, this person of influence, showed me some attention.
09:12And then they both dumped me like a hot potato.
09:15And I realized that I was just a piece of meat to both of them.
09:20So that, you know, that kind of discouraged me from even thinking that my life could change.
09:25I'm thinking just, this is, I'm stuck.
09:28This is just the way I am, right?
09:29I got tired of the lifestyle.
09:31I got tired of eating, I got tired of sleeping around.
09:35I just was tired of my whole trajectory and where I was headed.
09:41I felt like I was too familiar at the church that I was going to.
09:45I felt like I was too familiar with everybody.
09:47There were some guys in the music ministry who were living a lifestyle like me.
09:52So I felt like I'm probably not going to get the freedom that I need here because, you know, I'm
09:58too familiar with everybody.
10:00So my co-workers went to the same denomination.
10:05They went to another church, though.
10:07And I really, really liked their church.
10:09I liked the pastor.
10:10I liked everything about it.
10:12So I told them that I was considering joining their ministry.
10:16And they said, OK.
10:17I said, can you set up a meeting with the pastor?
10:21They said, OK.
10:22So I went to meet the pastor.
10:24And when I got in the office, he had this kind of snarly, strange look.
10:30And I said, oh, I'm very intuitive.
10:33So I kind of said, something's not going to go right here.
10:37He said, you're coming over here from Greta Bethany, right?
10:41I said, yes, sir.
10:42He said, well, let me just tell you this.
10:45Over here, we don't have no seats.
10:47So if you think that you're going to come over here and bring that stuff over here, you might as
10:53well go back to where you came from.
10:55That crushed me on an uncrushable level because what he did not know is that I was coming to get
11:04free.
11:04I wanted out of that lifestyle and I wanted to go somewhere that could help me change my life.
11:10So by him saying the derogatory stuff, it sent me somewhere.
11:14I don't know where it sent me, but it sent me out of there because I was like, this is
11:19definitely not the place that can help me.
11:22So now I'm thinking I must just be stuck.
11:26I said, well, maybe that's just true.
11:28I said, maybe I need to just accept it and just make the best of my life.
11:32Well, this was around the time when Obama had legalized gay, you know, marriage in certain states.
11:40And so my partner at the time and I, we decided we were going to move to a gay affirming
11:46state, get married, adopt a kid, buy a house, buy a dog, white picket fence, all the extras.
11:53And the most amazing thing happened to me.
11:57I went to bed one night and the conviction of the Holy Spirit came on me.
12:03And it's like I saw myself in a biblical way.
12:08I didn't see myself as the way that I had been living.
12:12I saw myself in comparison to the Bible, what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong.
12:19For me, that lifestyle was not something that I wanted to continue in.
12:26And even though I went as far as I went that night, I had the conviction of the Holy Spirit
12:31that I needed to change and that this was not the lifestyle for me.
12:36And I said, well, how am I supposed to tell my friend that I've had a change of heart?
12:42I said, God, you've got to help me with this one.
12:44Everything in me, I wanted to come out of that lifestyle.
12:49The Lord told me that everything that I had gone through was not for me.
12:55I allowed you to go through everything that you went through, he said, because your story is going to encourage
13:02and help so many people to know that no matter what tragedies and trials you've gone through, that you can
13:14be healed emotionally and you can live above that.
13:18Because you had a tragedy, it doesn't mean you can't end up triumphant.
13:22And so I said, wow.
13:23And then that's when the Lord told me to write the book.
13:27And so I wrote the book.
13:28And I was a little, a little inhibited, I guess, in the beginning, because I was like, I can't tell
13:34people all the stuff I've done.
13:35And he was like, that's the beauty of it.
13:38You are not who you used to be.
13:41He said, so you have to tell all of it.
13:44He said, because the magnitude of how you've gone from one extreme to the other, that needs to be shared.
13:51I said, well, I have to do it.
13:53You know, it's been a very interesting journey.
13:57In order for me, people ask me all the time, how did I change?
14:02I changed because I want to live a godly life.
14:05I want to live a life that pleases God.
14:09So how I was able to come out of that lifestyle was practicing spiritual principles, fasting, praying, reading my word.
14:23So basically, when I changed my mindset, my activities changed.
14:28My desires changed.
14:31You know, I no longer found my validation or my comfort in alcohol.
14:38You know, it was a step-by-step process.
14:41But you have a responsibility to do what's right in your heart.
14:46One thing that I know, broken people produce broken people.
14:51So at some point, it has to be something to cut the cycle.
14:56My father must have been violated.
14:58And that's why it was so easy for him to do what he did, because somebody took his innocence.
15:05I know that I would never want to do that to another child, because I know the possible damages that
15:12could be done.
15:13So I'm very protective of children.
15:17Unfortunately, from my experience, once their innocence is taken, you can't regain it.
15:23My mother, I know that wasn't easy for her to deal with.
15:28And I think there was a moment where she actually struggled with who to believe.
15:34But I think because of his character, I think she eventually realized that, oh, he's very capable of doing something
15:41like that.
15:41A couple of years after it all came out, she finally divorced her.
15:46And with all this going on, one of the things that I had to do to really get free was
15:51forgive my father.
15:52And I shared this part of my story.
15:55I always interject forgiveness.
15:57All those years, I thought I was OK, but I realized I still had something in my heart for my
16:04father, an unforgiveness.
16:06And it hindered me in so many ways because I had the victim mentality.
16:13So I had to realize my father did not have the capacity to father me properly because he was broken
16:21and he wasn't fathered properly.
16:24So it gave me an empathy for him to know that he just wasn't he didn't have the skills to
16:31be the father that I think I should have had.
16:34And so it helped me to forgive him.
16:37One day I had to call him and acknowledge it.
16:41And I simply said, Dad, what you did to me really messed me up.
16:46But today I want you to know that I still love you and I forgive you.
16:52And when I said that, it's like I had lost 100 pounds.
16:58It just changed my life.
16:59It really did.
17:00I began to walk in a new freedom.
17:04It's just so many layers.
17:06It's just so complicated.
17:07There's not like a one answer for all of this stuff.
17:11I mean, because as a child, you just you're just thrust into something and you don't know how you got
17:17here.
17:18I don't know.
17:19It just really it takes your innocence.
17:23It just does.
17:24You're thinking like an adult and you should not be thinking like an adult as a child.
17:29So I do have a little insight in those areas, which is why I wrote the book.
17:34So my name, the name of my book is Blessings and Freedom.
17:39Blessings and Freedom by Kevin Boyd.
17:42It is available on Amazon.
17:43It is also available on my website.
17:52And I want people to know that I had the power to change because I wanted to and because the
18:02Lord was with me.
18:04And this is the new me and I'm proud of it.
18:08And if it can help or inspire anybody to make changes as undesirable in their life, then I hope that
18:16my book can be a catalyst to let you know that you can change what you want to change about
18:22yourself.