- 31 minutes ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:02it all comes down to this the next 60 seconds are critical there can be no hesitation no second
00:09guessing are you ready it's a word game there's gonna be second guessing third guesser i'm just
00:15making a point okay i'm sure you'll do great judd tell them how much we're up by we're up by
00:19nine
00:21the riders are up by nine nine words in a minute okay well we should change the name of this
00:26game
00:26to mission impossible are they always like this during game night insufferable yeah yes crush them
00:32please please please crush us i got this please please all right ready okay let's go okay oh have
00:42fun with that one oh um okay tk's fourth birthday bronx zoo second cutest animal meerkat the third
00:49cutest aardvark yes okay um famous american outlaw al capone john dillinger jeff
00:56goldblum okay um bruce springsteen's most underrated valid valid of jesse james yes yes okay
01:02uh oh i am terrified of male pattern baldness back knee rachel maddow pennywise the clown yes yes score
01:10it okay good leningrad parrot top squash ball molly ringwald mariana's trench yes okay wait how is
01:16this possible we are experiencing a full-on mind mouth here come on just one more one more you got
01:21it okay a beautiful place in france paris that we never got to
01:28no no no no no no no that ain't fair that ain't fair no
01:33because you have been dethroned because they've been married so long they have an unfair advantage
01:38it's obvious oh i'm pretty sure we've been divorced longer than anyone here's been married
01:42which is why they never stood a chance oh wait i don't follow i don't really understand
01:49you think you know each other when you say i do uh forget it you you really start to learn
01:56who someone
01:57is when you are sitting across the table from them in a deposition carving up your life savings and you
02:04know how their mind really works and how cunning and and ruthless they can be that's i'm blushing
02:10no but i mean i mean divorce has been better than couples therapy for us because when we were together
02:17we were miles apart now we're not together and we've never been closer so i i think there should
02:23be a term for it somebody should come up with a term for people who are better together not together
02:29there's a term for them it's friends with benefits
02:37who wants to place categories right that's a good girl i got you yes
02:56let's go boys
03:03let's go
03:27let's go
03:31Oh!
03:32That's my girl!
03:34Come on!
03:35Come on, Fox! Good job, Sticks!
03:38Come on, Fox! Yeah, Marjan!
03:40Whoo!
03:42Looks like Marjan's got a fan.
03:45Congrats, enjoy.
03:49Hello.
03:51What can I get for you?
03:53Three IPAs, a mineral water, and an iced tea, please.
03:56You're thirsty.
03:57Only four of those are for me.
03:59I've seen you here before, right?
04:01Yeah, were you here the night that King Crusher got impaled?
04:03I was one of the firefighters that responded.
04:05Firefighter? Sign me up for the calendar.
04:07And his boyfriend is a cop.
04:10Cool.
04:12Well, that was aggressive.
04:14I think it's the atmosphere,
04:16but I do like people to know you're mine.
04:18Well then, I think we should come here more often.
04:21Maybe we should.
04:38Did she come out yet?
04:39Not yet.
04:41Feels like maybe we aren't the only ones waiting for her.
04:43I keep telling her to make her social media private.
04:45You don't get three million likes by being private.
04:47Oh, creeps showing up after your games.
04:49You think he's a creep?
04:51Watch out.
04:53What do you think?
04:55How did you know I'd be here?
04:57Instagram.
04:58Surprised?
05:00Hey, Marge.
05:01Everything good here?
05:02Yeah, uh, yeah.
05:04Um, these are my friends from work, Paul and Mateo.
05:08This is Selim.
05:10Oh, so you know this guy?
05:11Only our whole lives.
05:13You Marjan's brother or something?
05:14Selim's my fiance.
05:18Hi guys.
05:19How's it going?
05:21Uh, Marjan got engaged.
05:24What?
05:24No way.
05:27Congratulations.
05:29So, when did this happen?
05:33When we were 12.
05:50Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
05:52If I could have your attention for just one second.
05:55Then you can get back to drinking.
05:56Uh, I'm Drew.
06:00Uh, I'm Jeff's best man.
06:02You may recognize me from the wedding just now.
06:05Jeff and I have been best friends since third grade.
06:09We've shared everything.
06:11And now I get to share in your greatest joy.
06:14You found a really great girl in Kelsey.
06:16You're just lucky you found her first.
06:18I'm not impressed.
06:19Really?
06:21Kelsey.
06:25You know I've never seen Jeff.
06:27So happy.
06:30I really do love you for loving him.
06:34I love you too brother.
06:36And seeing the two of you together makes me uh.
06:44It makes me, uh, it makes me bad.
06:56I'm sorry.
06:57Oh, my God.
07:01Oh, my God.
07:05Oh, my God.
07:07Oh, my God.
07:20Oh, my God.
07:339-1-1, what's your emergency?
07:35It's worse than the red wedding.
07:44But is it even legal?
07:46I mean, 12 years old?
07:47Doesn't that make you like a child bride?
07:49They're engaged, not married, Proby.
07:51Did you realize that half the marriages in the world are still arranged?
07:55I did not know that.
07:56Mm-hmm.
07:57But, like, you don't even get a say?
08:00It's not like my parents drew his name out of a hat.
08:03Our families have known each other since our grandparents immigrated here.
08:06We have similar values.
08:07We're a good match.
08:09We were babies together.
08:11That almost makes it weird.
08:12You know, you should probably stop talking now, Proby.
08:14Hmm.
08:15Can he, though?
08:16From what we can tell, only the guests who had the fish got sick.
08:19So I can't say we got a lot of compliments on the chicken either.
08:22Score one for red meat.
08:23What are you thinking?
08:24Salmonella?
08:25Not if it all came out of the same kitchen.
08:27Scombroid poisoning.
08:28Improperly stored seafood.
08:29Nancy, radio dispatch.
08:30Tell them all RA units need to bring as much Zofran, Saline, and Epi as possible.
08:35Captain, can I borrow a few hands?
08:37Marja, Matteo, Paul.
08:38This is the captain.
08:40Help!
08:40Help! Please! Please!
08:42No, they're still in there.
08:43Who's in there?
08:43Uh, Jeff and Kelsey, the bride and groom.
08:45Okay, look, you get yourself taken care of a medical.
08:47You don't look good.
08:48We'll take care of your friends.
08:49Oh, no, I'm okay.
08:50I got most of it up.
08:51All over the bride.
08:53Coming in.
08:55Hello?
08:56Over here!
08:57Over here!
08:57Over here!
08:59Oh, thank God.
09:00We tried to lift it, but it was too heavy.
09:06Hey, Cap, these trusses are aluminum, but they're bearing the weight of all these lights,
09:10so he's got, like, 900 pounds on him.
09:12All right.
09:13Hey, Jeff, how you doing?
09:14Big day, huh?
09:14Yeah.
09:15Can you tell me where it hurts?
09:16Pretty much everywhere, but I think my leg's broken.
09:18All right, let's secure this area.
09:20Get some saws and some gas masks.
09:22Gas mask, Cap?
09:23Whew.
09:24Yeah.
09:24Can you smell it?
09:27Okay.
09:29So, how long is he in town for?
09:31Who?
09:32Your fiancé, the guy you're totally into and haven't seen in a year.
09:36Uh, he flies back to Miami on Monday.
09:38So, kind of a surprise visit?
09:41He's been meaning to come visit once I got settled.
09:44So there's no particular occasion?
09:46I am always the occasion.
09:48It is a little odd, though, that you've never mentioned him before.
09:52It never really occurred to me.
09:56What?
09:57Okay, maybe it's not that odd.
09:58I mean, I didn't see a lot of heat coming off you two last night.
10:00Seriously?
10:01You two?
10:01It's not a cultural thing, right?
10:03It's just an observation.
10:04I just didn't peg you two for a couple.
10:07No, you thought he was my stalker.
10:09I thought he was your brother.
10:10Guys, your thinking is so Western.
10:14When you marry for chemistry, there's a 50% divorce rate.
10:17You know why ours is ten times lower?
10:19Because we don't start with heat.
10:21We believe that love is something you grow into.
10:26It's kind of beautiful, actually.
10:28When was the big day?
10:30Hell if I know.
10:31He still has to finish dental school, and we agreed to hold off the wedding and our parents
10:35until we'd established ourselves as individuals.
10:39You didn't have a big to-do like this?
10:41Hopefully a lot less vomit.
10:43Does that mean you moved back to Miami?
10:46Eventually.
10:49It's years away.
10:52Is it?
10:56Let's get him out of here.
11:01One, two, three!
11:08Is it gonna be alright?
11:10You may have to post Paul on the honeymoon, but he's gonna be fine.
11:13Yeah, we've waited this long.
11:14A little while longer won't kill us, right?
11:19Somebody get her chair, please.
11:21No, I'm fine.
11:22Really, it's okay.
11:23Not if you had the fish.
11:24She didn't.
11:24She's vegan.
11:25You were in there when the tent came down.
11:27Were you hit on the head?
11:27No.
11:28But you're feeling nauseated.
11:29She's been sick all week.
11:31Maybe she's pregnant.
11:33I mean, my cousin Sophia barfed at her wedding.
11:35It was morning sickness.
11:37Also at her graduation.
11:38No, it can't be that.
11:39We're probably waiting until the wedding night.
11:41Right, babe?
11:44I'm sorry.
11:46I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to ruin our wedding.
11:49Wait, hold on.
11:50Are you pregnant?
11:51Why didn't you tell me?
11:51Why would she tell you?
11:52Because it's not your business.
11:54How is it not my business?
11:55How is it your business?
11:59Oh, my God.
12:01Okay.
12:02Let's get him to the ambulance.
12:03You're gonna have to get him in the ambulance.
12:05I'm gonna kill you, Drew.
12:07I was saving myself!
12:10See?
12:11Bad match.
12:16All right, everybody.
12:18Hit the showers.
12:19Ugh, gladly.
12:21What am I supposed to do with these turnouts?
12:23Burn them.
12:25Is it weird that I'm hungry?
12:26Hey, Gwen.
12:26Hey, Gwen.
12:29Gwyneth, what are you doing here?
12:30Hey, um.
12:31Did you bring processed snack cakes into my firehouse?
12:36It's a ho-ho.
12:37Um, I found it in the cabinet hidden behind the kale chips,
12:41but I sniffed it out.
12:42You sniffed it out like a truffle?
12:45Who brought processed sugar into my kitchen?
12:48I'm assuming everyone who isn't you.
12:53What are you doing here?
12:55You have a minute?
12:56If a bell doesn't go off, I've got a minute.
12:58So, uh, remember the other night when you were talking about
13:01how whatever this thing is is working because we're together, not together?
13:05Oh, please don't make me explain that.
13:06That sounded so much better when I was a little drunk.
13:08No, I just want to know, what is this thing?
13:11Thing?
13:11Us.
13:12This.
13:13Oh, we're having that talk.
13:15No, it's not that talk.
13:17It's a talk.
13:18Right now, in the middle of my shift?
13:20A bell has not gone off.
13:22And yet, you've come out swinging.
13:24Well, I'm just looking for a little clarity.
13:27When you asked me to stay, you said we should see where this would go.
13:30Yes, yes, I did say that.
13:32So, where did it go?
13:33Or is it still going?
13:34Or how do we know when it gets there?
13:37You are really putting me on the spot.
13:39Well, that is not my intention.
13:41I just, I thought that was the beginning of a dialogue, not the end of one.
13:46Are we having fun?
13:47Yes, fun.
13:48Yes, it's been great.
13:49I just want to know what to call it.
13:51Why do we have to call it anything?
13:53I mean, we know what this is.
13:55Do we?
13:55Yeah, it's, it's, it's us.
13:59It's, it's this.
14:04You're going to need more clarity.
14:05Yes, Owen, that would be nice.
14:07I am running a Manhattan law firm from 1,700 miles away and carrying a two bedroom in Soho.
14:13Yeah, there are practicalities considered.
14:14I'm not making any demands or ultimatums.
14:17I just, I'm really looking for some...
14:20Some clarity.
14:21Clarity, yes.
14:22No, I, I, I think we're, I think we're clear on the, um, clarity.
14:28Is this time sensitive?
14:30After a certain age, most things are.
14:32Then I will do some thinking on it.
14:35Great.
14:35That is all I'm asking.
14:37I'm not making any ultimatums.
14:38No, no, no.
14:38I, I totally hear you.
14:40Okay.
14:40Okay.
14:41Okay.
14:42Well, I should probably go.
14:45Okay.
14:45Okay.
14:47You smell a little like vomit.
15:14You sure I got it all up?
15:15I can still smell it.
15:15Can you sniff me?
15:16I'm not sniffing you, Proby.
15:17Ugh.
15:19Hey, Mars, you good?
15:20Mm-hmm.
15:24Salim just texted.
15:26He wants to go for dinner before he heads back.
15:29He's making reservations at Osteria Cielo.
15:33Mm.
15:33Baller move.
15:35Place is nice.
15:36Mm-hmm.
15:38Wait, so why do you look like someone just drowned your puppy?
15:40This is a big deal.
15:44We've never been on a date without a chaperone.
15:47Unmarried couples aren't really supposed to.
15:51He's here for a reason.
15:54Yeah.
15:56Reason?
15:56What reason?
15:58He's tired of waiting.
15:59I think you might be right.
16:02Tired of waiting for what?
16:04The man is here to claim his bride, Proby.
16:08What?
16:09No.
16:10We had a deal.
16:11He's supposed to finish dental school first.
16:14I mean, do we even know what kind of grades he's been getting?
16:16This is wrong.
16:17You can't move to Miami now.
16:20You said we still had a few years.
16:22I thought we did.
16:38Wow.
16:39Back to Miami, huh?
16:40Maybe, yeah.
16:41I guess that was always the plan once they got married.
16:43But, I just think Marjahn expected it to, you know,
16:46happen after she was 30 or something.
16:48Kind of a long time to wait for him.
16:50I mean, she's very beautiful.
16:52Yeah, I would not be able to hold that that long.
16:55Yes, I recall the 15 minutes after we met.
16:59So why does it have to be Miami?
17:00You have teeth in Texas.
17:02Why can't you open up a dental practice here?
17:04What about their families are in Florida?
17:06Family, right.
17:09No, I get it.
17:10It'd take a lot to leave that behind.
17:12Would you?
17:13For the right person?
17:15Sure.
17:19Oh, you're kidding me.
17:20What?
17:21Dad, what is it?
17:25Carlitos!
17:27Carlitos!
17:28Hey!
17:30Oh, Mama.
17:31Hi, Dad.
17:32Are these your parents?
17:34Well, you wouldn't know, by the way.
17:35This one still hasn't knocked his mother.
17:36Camille, perdame un message.
17:38It's so nice to finally meet you.
17:39Hey.
17:40Hello.
17:41Mom, Dad, this is my friend TK.
17:43We work together.
17:45Oh, you're police too, TK.
17:48Firefighter, actually.
17:49Ah, well, I won't hold it against you.
17:51He will.
17:52Dad's a Texas Ranger.
17:55So, uh, since when do you eat microgreens?
17:58Ever since he gained his quarantine 15.
18:01Mira, he's running out of notches on that belt.
18:03Yeah, fat shaming isn't okay anymore.
18:05Mom.
18:05Yeah, we'll tell that to his hypertension.
18:07Why do I need a belt when she wears the pants in the family anyway?
18:10And at 15 bucks a bag?
18:12I should arrest him for larceny.
18:14Come on, mi amor.
18:15I see.
18:16Switch charred with your name on it.
18:18The only thing I want charred is a nice ribeye.
18:20See you Sunday at Tia Lucy's.
18:22For sure.
18:23Love you guys.
18:23Nice meeting you, TJ.
18:26Yeah, you too.
18:28So that was a little weird.
18:38Our specials this evening are a saddle of venison with a pistachio crust
18:41and a Sicilian branzino and a betta parpadelli.
18:43That all sounds amazing.
18:45I'll give you a couple minutes to think about it.
18:47Can I bring you anything from the wine list?
18:48Oh, just an iced tea for me, thanks.
18:50I'll take an old-fashioned.
18:51With rye instead of bourbon.
18:53Excellent choice, sir.
18:54Thank you very much.
18:55With rye instead of bourbon?
18:58Who is this guy?
19:00Don't look so surprised.
19:01You always knew I was a bad boy.
19:03Seriously, though, I've never seen you drink before.
19:05We've always had a chaperone.
19:07True.
19:07What would the parents say if they could see us now?
19:10My dad would show all your Firefox videos to the waiter.
19:13Five million likes this one.
19:15And we used to walk her to the nursery school.
19:18Your parents are the best.
19:20I miss them.
19:21How have they been?
19:22Much better lately.
19:24Other than giving me the bi-weekly full-court press on grandkids.
19:27Thanks again, by the way, for leaving me with both sets and running off to a different
19:32time zone.
19:33You will always be my hero for holding down the fort.
19:36I feel like a Jordanian Davy Crockett defending the Alamo and no reinforcements are coming.
19:41You know, he died, by the way.
19:42Read about it in an in-flight magazine.
19:45Well, the Alamo's just an hour down the highway.
19:46We can go if you want.
19:49I know the parents are a lot, and they've probably been squeezing you to set a date,
19:52but I'd rather we just stuck to our timeline.
19:56Just a few more years.
19:57Five years.
19:58Five more years.
20:00Yeah.
20:01Like we always talked about, when we're 30.
20:03I feel like I'm just getting my footing here.
20:05I know.
20:06I know.
20:06I follow you on IG.
20:08See how happy you are at work.
20:10The new mosque.
20:11Now with the roller derby.
20:13I'd never ask you to give that up.
20:14Really?
20:16Really.
20:17So are you saying you'd move to Austin?
20:19It is a very nice town.
20:22But you have two years of dental school left.
20:24How would that work?
20:25It wouldn't.
20:29Look.
20:31I know you're not ready to get married, but I am.
20:36Just not to you.
20:41Wait.
20:42Are you breaking up with me?
20:44Answer me one question, Marjan.
20:47Have you ever been in love with me?
20:50What?
20:50Of course I love you.
20:52No, that's not what I asked.
20:53In love.
20:54I mean, I mean, romantically.
20:56I mean, passion.
20:57Passion?
20:58What, did you read the notebook on the plane, too?
20:59I'm serious.
21:01In all the years we've known each other,
21:03have you ever felt one spark when you looked at me?
21:05We've never been about sparks.
21:08Really?
21:08Because let me tell you what I feel when I look at you.
21:12I feel the world getting warmer.
21:14The walls get closer.
21:15I lose my breath when I look at you.
21:19You should probably get that checked out.
21:21And, of course, you make a joke.
21:22What do you want me to say, Salim?
21:24That you feel something, anything?
21:27Do you know how soul-crushing it is to be the one who's always pining?
21:31Well, maybe I don't swoon every time I'm near you, but those kind of feelings will grow with time.
21:36Will they?
21:37Because I've had them for you since I was ten.
21:40It was love at first sight.
21:42And quite honestly, I'm not comfortable gambling that after two decades you'll suddenly catch feelings for me.
21:48But we made a commitment.
21:52I don't want to be with someone who's only with me because someone else made a promise for them when
21:57they were twelve.
21:58But we are such a good match.
22:02I met someone.
22:06What do you mean you met someone?
22:08I met someone else more, John.
22:10Someone else.
22:14What did you lovebirds decide?
22:22Why are you so mad?
22:24I'm not mad.
22:25Really?
22:26Then why don't you say more than two words the whole drive home?
22:28I thought you were talking to TJ.
22:30Seriously, is that what this is about?
22:32My mom gets people's names wrong all the time.
22:34You didn't correct her, Carlos.
22:36I will next time.
22:37No, you didn't correct her because it didn't matter and you don't think there is going to be a next
22:40time.
22:41Stop it.
22:42What are you doing?
22:43Friend from work.
22:44You know, if I was your friend from work, then what we did this morning was very unprofessional.
22:49Yeah, HR would definitely have its hands full on that one.
22:51I'm sorry.
22:52I just wasn't expecting to run into them.
22:54Yeah, and ever introduce me to them.
22:55That's not true.
22:56I thought you were out to them.
22:57I am.
22:59Wow.
23:00Well, that's even worse.
23:01You were out to them and you still didn't tell them I was your boyfriend.
23:03It's more complicated.
23:04How complicated can it be, Carlos?
23:07Look, not all of us were raised in Manhattan with parents who couldn't tear the closet door off fast enough.
23:11My parents are more traditional.
23:12I just don't like to rub their noses in it.
23:16Rub their noses in it?
23:19You didn't want to rub their noses in the fact that you have somebody who loves you and that you
23:25supposedly love back?
23:30I freed some more space in your closet, Carlos.
23:48You're up early.
23:49I had an early meeting with Shanghai.
23:51No, I mean before that.
23:52It seems like you were up in the night.
23:54No, I don't think so.
23:55It seems like you were restless.
23:57I'm not restless.
23:58I slept like a stone.
24:00Like a rodent stone.
24:05So now we're awkward.
24:06This is the awkward stage.
24:08I don't think so.
24:09Because if every time I attempt to have some kind of conversation with you, we get three days of awkward,
24:13it's going to be less fun.
24:15Well, I want it to be fun.
24:16It should be fun.
24:19Let's make it fun.
24:23TK.
24:24Morning.
24:24When did you get home?
24:26Last night.
24:26I thought you were staying at Carlos's.
24:28We're in quarantine from each other.
24:31Honey, what happened?
24:32We're in a fight.
24:34You want to talk about it?
24:34Not really.
24:36It's not good to keep things bottled up.
24:38Your father is so right.
24:40Welcome.
24:41We ran into his parents, who I've never met, and I've been dying to meet them, and he introduced me
24:48as his friend.
24:50No, he did not.
24:52Well, maybe he's not out to them.
24:54He's out to them.
24:55Well, what did you want him to do?
24:57Not treat me like I didn't exist.
24:59I wanted him to tell them who I was and what I mean to him.
25:03Maybe he did.
25:04Maybe we are just friends.
25:06With benefits?
25:07You're more than that.
25:08I mean, we've all seen you together.
25:11Why does he have to make some official announcement?
25:13I just want him to acknowledge what we are.
25:15That is so reasonable.
25:17Is it?
25:19You're having fun together, right?
25:20Yeah, of course.
25:20You're not seeing anybody else?
25:21No.
25:22And you have history?
25:23Those years count for something?
25:25Months, but okay.
25:27My point being, what does it matter what label somebody wants to put on something?
25:31It matters because if you can't agree on one, it indicates deeper problems.
25:36But if you force someone to put a label on it and they're not ready, you can create a problem
25:41where there isn't one.
25:42Well, if that creates a problem, it suggests to me underlying conditions.
25:48The real issue is do you feel safe in the relationship?
25:51You can have all the fun in the world, but if you don't feel safe, you're never going to be
25:55happy.
25:56So you're saying I'm being too pushy?
25:58Hmm?
25:59What?
25:59No, I don't think I said that.
26:01So then I should force the issue?
26:02Not necessarily.
26:04Okay.
26:06Thanks, guys.
26:13My God.
26:16My God.
26:18My God.
26:26So?
26:29So?
26:31So are we going to be visiting your wedding registry or what?
26:34Wedding's off.
26:35What?
26:35Oh, it's great.
26:38I'm sorry.
26:39Are you sad?
26:39You're sad.
26:42You broke it off?
26:43No.
26:44He dumped me.
26:46Bet you didn't see that one come in, Sherlock, did you?
26:49No.
26:50No, I did not.
26:52I guess I just never imagined anyone letting you go.
26:56He met somebody else.
26:58Her name is Madison, and she's training to be a periodontist.
27:03You know, I never liked that guy, even when he was your brother.
27:07It's not all his fault.
27:09Eventually, anybody gets tired of being a friend with no benefits.
27:12Wait, you guys never...
27:14You're probing boundaries.
27:17He said I'd never felt a spark.
27:21He accused me of never having been in love with him, and the truth is I never really thought
27:26I was until he dumped me.
27:28So wait, you are in love with him?
27:29I doubt it'd feel like my heart's literally been ripped out of my chest if I weren't.
27:33So yeah, I'm in love with him.
27:37I think I have been my whole life.
27:40How did I not see that until it was too late?
27:42Maybe because for the first time, you didn't feel like you had to.
27:49You need to tell him.
27:51You can't be serious.
27:53Deadly.
27:54You cannot let that man fly away without knowing how you really feel.
27:58No.
27:59He made his decision.
28:01I'm not going to show up at his hotel room and humiliate myself.
28:04Look, it's a risk.
28:06Love hurts, Marjan.
28:08But regret?
28:10That hurts a lot more.
28:13I think he's right.
28:16And the last thing I want is for you to leave.
28:19My heart wants what it wants.
28:26911, what's your emergency?
28:28I think mistress is in trouble.
28:29I'm at 515 McKinney Drive off 183.
28:32Okay, you sound a little far away, sir.
28:35I'm calling with Siri.
28:36Okay, what's your name?
28:37Mistress says I should only be referred to as Imp.
28:41Okay, Imp.
28:43Um, my name is Grace.
28:45What's wrong with mistress?
28:46She was stunned by a bee.
28:47She's allergic.
28:48Uh, I think there's a hive in the wall.
28:51Okay, she has an EpiPen?
28:52Yeah, but she was reaching for her when she collapsed.
28:54All right.
28:55I'm going to need you to grab it for her, okay?
28:58See, that's the problem.
29:01I'm a little tied up right now.
29:13Rescue 29, I have a 40-year-old female, multiple bee stings, possible anaphylaxis.
29:18Uh, be advised, there may be a hive in the wall.
29:20Sir, do you know if there's anyone within earshot of you?
29:22Uh, no.
29:23Mistress keeps her dungeon soundproofed.
29:25I suppose it would be.
29:26Is there anybody else I can call?
29:27No, I'm in mistress's basement.
29:29She's, she's choking.
29:31She's trying to call, but air can't get in.
29:33Okay, listen, I think her airways are closing up.
29:35Did you say you are completely bound?
29:37There's no room for you to wiggle free.
29:38Unfortunately, that's the point of this position.
29:40What position would that be exactly?
29:43Hog-tied frog legs?
29:45Uh, spread equals torpedo?
29:46Joldering the rifle is the official term.
29:49Okay.
29:50All right, Imp.
29:51So your right arm is the one that's up above your head, correct?
29:53Yes.
29:54And your hands, are they touching in the back, or is there a gap of space?
29:56Yeah, there's some space.
29:58Okay.
29:58Is there anything hard or sturdy in the room that's within your reach?
30:02Uh, not really.
30:03My feet are bound.
30:05Really?
30:05You sure there's nothing?
30:06Look all around.
30:07I have enough slack to reach a couple of rods that are sticking out of the wall.
30:11Tell me those rods are pointing towards you.
30:12Yeah, why?
30:13I do have an idea, Imp.
30:14It is a bit unorthodox.
30:16Anything for mistress?
30:17I need you to take your shoulder and slam it up against one of the rods and dislocate it.
30:21What?
30:22No.
30:23I may be a masochist, but I'm not crazy.
30:25Can't the people coming here just untie me?
30:27Yeah, I'm afraid they're not going to make it in time.
30:29But if you dislocate the shoulder, you should be able to bring your arm up over your head
30:33to untie yourself.
30:36She's turning blue!
30:37Imp, you have to help her.
30:39I can't!
30:40I'm afraid.
30:41I don't come here to be frightened.
30:42I come here to be humiliated.
30:46Well, what a sorry excuse for a sub.
30:48I, I, what?
30:50You're not worthy to be making this call right now, are you?
30:53Cowering like a worthless little nub.
30:55Tell me, Imp, what comes after Beta?
30:57Permission to speak to your grace?
30:59Permission denied.
31:01See, you've crossed the wrong queen now.
31:04We both know how pathetic you are.
31:06You look at baby carrots with envy.
31:08You haven't earned the right to be speaking to me.
31:11Please, your grace, I'll do it.
31:13Is, is it going to hurt?
31:14Oh, like hell.
31:15And I expect a thank you for the pain.
31:19Yes, your grace.
31:37I free myself.
31:38Just a minute, just a minute.
31:42Okay, I've got the EpiPen.
31:44Okay, good.
31:44Jam it into her thigh now.
31:47Yeah.
31:49Oh, she's alive.
31:50She's breathing.
31:51Ah.
31:53Thank you, your grace.
31:55That was amazing.
31:56I didn't feel the pain.
32:04Fifty shades of grace.
32:10You say, Cap, you need a spot?
32:11No, I'm good.
32:12You know, there is something I wouldn't mind getting off my chest.
32:16Okay.
32:17So, the other night, when we were all together, how did, uh, Gwen seem?
32:25Well, hell, uh, Owen, I don't...
32:28She seemed fine.
32:29I don't really know the lady.
32:30Well, I do know the lady, and I can tell you, she was fine.
32:33In fact, she was better than fine.
32:35And I would say, collectively, over the last couple months, we have had more good days than
32:40we had over the entire ten years of her marriage.
32:44And I think it's because none of this was planned.
32:48She was gonna come down here, stay for a week or two.
32:51We didn't know that we'd be quarantining together.
32:54We didn't know that we would start having full-bath sex.
32:59All right, I'll get the pictures.
33:00And that was the beauty of it.
33:03You know, the spontaneity.
33:05You know, nobody had any expectations.
33:07And now?
33:08Now she wants to define what this is.
33:12And you don't want to do that?
33:14Every time I put a label on something, it ends up being an expiration date.
33:18I don't want to ruin it, you know?
33:23I do.
33:25You want the cream without having to buy the cow.
33:29No, I didn't say that.
33:31I want the cow.
33:32I'm not really thrilled with this metaphor.
33:35I mean, you can call it whatever you like to, but what I'm seeing is you get all the benefits
33:39with none of the commitment.
33:40What are you talking about?
33:41I'm the one who asked her to stay.
33:42And she's the one who left everything.
33:44It's not like she joined a cult.
33:45It's all out there still.
33:49I mean, I guess I can see why she might not feel 100% secure.
33:55Secure.
33:55So is that your word or is that hers?
33:58No, I think the word she used was safe.
34:00But she was speaking theoretically.
34:03Mm-hmm.
34:04Hey, look.
34:06You love her?
34:07I never stop loving her.
34:09She knows that.
34:10Yeah, but does she?
34:12Does she?
34:12That's what I'm saying.
34:13Like, I would walk through fire so that Grace knows I love her.
34:17She knows I love being married to her.
34:19Right?
34:20So that she knows she's safe.
34:21And then we got you sitting next to the woman that you claim to love, just going on and on
34:27about what a thrill it is to be divorced from her.
34:32Yeah, I guess I did kind of do that, didn't I?
34:34Yeah, like you was giving a stump speech.
34:38You know what to do, Cap.
34:51Hey.
34:52Hi.
34:53Can I come in?
34:55You've got a key.
34:56Yeah, I thought maybe you might want that back.
34:59Why?
34:59Are you breaking up?
35:01Or did that already happen because it kind of felt like it didn't?
35:03No.
35:04I mean, I hope not.
35:08Come in.
35:14Okay, look, I know I was a little bitch.
35:17No, you weren't.
35:19Yes, I was.
35:20And I just want to say that I'm not sorry.
35:27I'm not sorry, Carlos.
35:28I know I made it seem like your relationship with your parents was about me, but really,
35:35it's about us.
35:37Do you know what I mean?
35:38Not really.
35:39Um, when you didn't tell your parents that I was your boyfriend, it made me feel insecure
35:50about our relationship and what I mean to you.
35:54And that kills me, which is exactly why I was avoiding introducing you, because I didn't
35:58want that to happen.
35:59And I knew it would.
36:04Yeah, but did it have to?
36:05I mean, they knew you were gay.
36:07They know, yes.
36:12I came out to them when I was 17, and they were shocked.
36:16I knew it rocked their world, but they hugged me, told me they loved me, and that was that.
36:23You know what we talked about.
36:25You know what we talked about the next morning, the Astro's bullpen, price of a leaded, a new calf
36:33on our family ranch, not one mention of what I shared.
36:39And then, or since they seemed like such nice people.
36:46They are nice people, but they're not perfect people.
36:52You know, my parents may be very queer friendly, but they're not perfect either.
36:59They just gave me a pep talk that felt like it was more about them than about me.
37:04That explains a lot.
37:06There was something that my mom did say, though.
37:12She said, I felt triggered because I didn't feel safe in this relationship.
37:20I see.
37:23I'm sorry to hear that.
37:27But you know what I didn't consider?
37:31Is how unsafe you feel and have felt for so much of your life.
37:40I want you to know that I am fully on board.
37:45You can tell your parents I'm your own.
37:47Your friend, your colleague, your personal shopper.
37:54I don't care.
37:56Okay?
37:57As long as you need.
38:02And if it never changes?
38:05No.
38:07Nothing ever stays the same, Carlos.
38:10I don't care.
38:17I don't care.
38:30I don't care.
38:35But I'm not yet.
38:37I don't care.
38:39I don't care.
38:43I need to know.
38:51Marjan.
38:52Can I come in?
38:54Yeah, yeah, of course. Come on in.
39:03So?
39:05What are you doing here?
39:07Look, I know it's over between us.
39:09I get it. You made that really clear.
39:11And, uh, I don't want to make things weird,
39:13but I can't let you leave without telling me something.
39:18I love you.
39:20Not because I have to
39:22or because someone made a promise when I was 12,
39:24but because when I look at you, the walls get closer.
39:27The world warms up, and I lose my breath.
39:32Okay.
39:33So I got a little weird.
39:38I've been waiting my whole life for you to say something like that.
39:46What's wrong?
39:47Mm-mm-mm.
39:49I didn't come here for that.
39:55Uh, Kay?
39:57Okay.
39:59Um...
40:01Maybe I'm not exactly sure what I came here for,
40:04but suddenly I'm starting to feel like the other woman.
40:07There's never been another woman.
40:09I think there has, and her name was Madison, if I recall.
40:12Okay.
40:13Madison is a wonderful girl, but she's not you.
40:16She never was.
40:18I can break it off with her tonight.
40:24Wow, just like that?
40:26I'm confused.
40:27Isn't that what you want?
40:28Yes.
40:30But that's the problem, Salim.
40:32I can't be with someone who doesn't honor their commitments.
40:35To their family, to their values,
40:38to their periodontists on this side.
40:40I didn't think you wanted me.
40:41I know.
40:42I helped put us in this position,
40:43but now here we are, and I...
40:47and I'm sorry.
41:00This really can't work out now, can it?
41:05No.
41:07I don't think it can.
41:10We were such a good match.
41:14It's such bad timing.
41:31Owen?
41:32Oh, dear.
41:39Owen, can you bring my reading glasses?
41:42I can't see anything in here.
41:44It's Chateau Le Sommet.
41:46I haven't had that since.
41:49Those are stargazer lilies.
41:52And Geneva chocolates.
41:54That's the same...
41:55Set up we had waiting for us in our wedding suite.
41:57You charming son of a bitch.
42:01Sixteen years ago,
42:03I blew the great relationship of my life.
42:07And I'll be damned if I'm going to do it again.
42:09So...
42:10And this time,
42:11we're going to get to the French Riviera.
42:15Gwyneth Lynn Morgan.
42:18Will you make me the happiest man in the world
42:20and marry me again?
42:23What?
42:27No.
42:28Get up.
42:29We're not doing that.
42:31Wait a minute.
42:32I thought this is what you wanted.
42:34What do I want with a wedding ring?
42:36I...
42:36I...
42:37Instead, I needed clarity.
42:38Not a proposal.
42:40Okay.
42:40I think I'm the one
42:42who needs some clarity.
42:43If you weren't interested in getting married,
42:45why were you suddenly so intense
42:46on nailing down where this was all going?
42:49I'm pregnant, Owen.
42:53I'm pregnant, Owen.
42:54Sorry?
42:55Knocked up.
42:56Bun in the oven.
42:56Two lines on a pee test.
42:58Pregnant.
43:00That's...
43:01Ridiculous.
43:02Yes.
43:03Surreal.
43:04Sure.
43:05But, uh,
43:06impossible.
43:07Apparently not.
43:13Well, that clears down.
Comments