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00:17I hope your weird brujo uncle can help us out.
00:22Here's where you find what you seek.
00:24What the hell is this doing here?
00:25You have to bury it deep, deep below the place where your journey began.
00:30Thirty years ago, my friends and I spent the night at a cabin.
00:33We found a book.
00:34It awoke something in the woods.
00:36Something evil.
00:37His real head.
00:39Hello.
00:41This is coming along so nicely.
00:44Weaved.
00:46Just take a hint.
00:49Ah, demon!
00:50Come on, yo!
00:56I think a brujo was trying to give me a sign from...
00:59wherever he is.
01:21Where the hell is he?
01:24Why don't you take a loop around?
01:27I'll check inside.
01:28Oh god...
01:34Wow, you papa do, girl!
01:42And pass me to bed in theكن vodal.
01:47Fatal vodal.
01:49Before never use him, Saranjah Rochester.
01:49Well, it went wrong, baby.
01:51I told him.
01:52You would never get away.
01:52Tell him, you know?
01:53You will be in peace...
01:54And pass these gun?
02:03Jesus?
02:23Son of a bitch.
02:26Son of a bitch.
02:39Got you now, Ashley.
02:51Hey, little guy.
02:53You seen a one-handed asshole around here?
02:55Ha, ha, ha, ha.
02:57I got you.
02:57I got you.
03:07I got you.
03:08I got you.
03:21Ruby!
03:24You double-crosser!
03:27The others will never let you get the book for yourself.
03:33And neither will I.
03:37Ruby!
03:37You double-crosser!
03:52Shit!
03:57Where the fuck did it go?
04:02Fuck.
04:34Damn, jefe, you hungry?
04:36You're hurting those pancakes.
04:38I know what I have to do. Chew before you swallow.
04:42No, back of the brujos.
04:44When I was on my fun little trip to Woodstock,
04:47I saw some things that made my next step very clear.
04:53All roads to destroying this evil lead right back to where it all began.
04:57The cabin.
05:02Sorry.
05:03I guess deep down, I always knew we would lead to this.
05:07Then let's go back there and end it all.
05:09You know I'm down.
05:11The last thing I want every dead eye to see is this ugly mug.
05:15Yeah, I know.
05:16But the thing is, you can't go with me.
05:20I'm sorry, what?
05:22No, this is the end of the road.
05:23I put your lives in too much danger already.
05:25And this cabin, if you go there, you would end up possessed
05:28and I would have to kill you both and cut your heads off.
05:31And that would just be bad for everybody.
05:34No.
05:35I want payback.
05:36You don't get to take that away from me.
05:38Yeah.
05:39We knew what we were getting into when we joined up with you.
05:42Well, no we didn't. Not even a little bit.
05:44But we do now.
05:45And you said you wanted us to be with you.
05:47And if I die, at least I went out swinging.
05:51Ash.
05:52If I was a dead eye, I would be honored to have you chop my head off.
05:57Um, thanks Pablo.
05:58I appreciate that.
05:59Okay.
06:01I'll think about it.
06:03Ash.
06:05Lim.
06:06Uh, how the hell are ya?
06:09These your grandkids?
06:10Still an asshole I see.
06:11Always.
06:12Yeah, me too.
06:13Kelly.
06:14Pablo.
06:15This is Lim.
06:16Good to meet you.
06:18Hey, uh, you got a sec?
06:22Sure.
06:36So, Mr. Working down the valley stop?
06:39Maybe I could use your, uh, employee discount for some toilet paper and ammo?
06:44No, I got off that old merry-go-round.
06:47And, Lim, I don't think you should be waving guns around.
06:49Relax.
06:50I'm off the sauce.
06:52Clean and sober.
06:53Almost nine days.
06:55Wow.
06:56Well, uh, one foot in front of the other.
06:58Amen.
06:58Yeah.
06:59Yeah, really getting my life together, you know?
07:01Even joined the militia.
07:02Hence the ammo.
07:04Always be stockpiling.
07:05That's your motto.
07:06That's a dumb motto.
07:07I joined after they came up with it.
07:10Anyway, you should stop by sometime.
07:12You got some really cool toys you could play with.
07:14You know, I might just take you up on that.
07:16Yeah.
07:17Where's your camp?
07:18Actually, I can't tell you that.
07:19Come on.
07:21Now show me the hand.
07:23Is that new?
07:24Long story.
07:28Gaylord.
07:28No.
07:29Really?
07:30No.
07:30Gladman.
07:32I gotcha.
07:33North of M-59.
07:37All right.
07:38What's up, dude?
07:38Cuz you're being real weird to me today.
07:40Nope.
07:41I'm having an amazing day.
07:43Wow.
07:46Okay.
07:46You know what, Pablo?
07:47I know what you're going through with your uncle.
07:49And if you need to take it out on me, that's just fine.
07:52I will take it if it helps.
07:55Yeah, it's not that.
07:59It's just...
08:03When you were possessed, you tried to fuck me and then kill me.
08:09What?
08:10Like, like, fuck you.
08:13Fuck you?
08:14Oh, yeah.
08:14You were like in full-on bone mode.
08:16Like a praying mantis.
08:18I mean, the killing part, you know what?
08:19I get that.
08:21You know, you were a demon.
08:22You were possessed.
08:23But the other part, I just...
08:25I didn't know what to make of it.
08:27It was confusing.
08:28Shit.
08:30I'm sorry.
08:31I mean...
08:33I really...
08:34I just don't remember any of it.
08:39So...
08:41Was any of that a part of you or was it all the demon?
08:46You two fun bags almost done?
08:48Yeah.
08:49Okay, good.
08:51Now, if, and I mean if, I let you come with me back to the cabin, there's one place I
08:56have to stop first. Pablo, when we get there, please remind me to gas up the chainsaw.
09:00Will do. You know I got you.
09:02Whenever you're ready.
09:03Thank you, love. Five-star service.
09:11Okay.
09:12Who's got the cash?
09:15Uh...
09:15You said it was your treat.
09:17No.
09:18No.
09:19No.
09:19No, I ordered the fruit cup because I thought we were taking this check to Splitsville. When did I say
09:23this?
09:23Uh, when we sat down and then again in the middle of the meal?
09:26Yeah, you said, and I quote, all right, you knuckleheads, I got the grub this round.
09:35That doesn't sound familiar, but you know, okay. Jesus.
09:40Just go wait in the trailer, okay? I'll pay up.
09:52Amanda?
09:52I got him. I finally fucking got him. Right now I'm looking at the license plate from that missing trailer
09:58from the park homicide. That's the guy. Trust me.
10:01Amanda, what are you doing? You're not on active duty.
10:04But you are. You could bring this guy in on your collar. Run the DNA. I know we'll find a
10:09hit on everyone from the trailer park and the farmhouse too.
10:12Where are you?
10:14The western moose. He's inside.
10:17I'm on my way. Don't do anything till I get there.
10:22The western moose.
10:33All right. All right. So just, will you just tell me how exactly did I try to do all that
10:42to you?
10:45You tried to seduce me and get me to smoke weed out of a shotgun.
10:49What? Oh, shit. That is awesome.
10:56That is crazy.
10:57That is awesome.
10:58Yeah.
11:00Oh.
11:02So what? Did you... turn me down?
11:06I... think so.
11:11I... blacked out.
11:14Well, that sounds like a good party.
11:19No, but hey, seriously, like whatever was inside me, it just must have been preying on how I really feel
11:27about you.
11:28How do you feel about me?
11:31I mean, you're just so sweet and pure. How could I ever look at you that way? And the demon
11:38must have been twisting that and making me seem insane.
11:45Right.
11:47That makes total sense. Of course.
11:51Fuck that demon.
11:53Anyway, um, I'm just, I'm really sorry, Pablo. I put you in such an awkward position. I promise I won't
11:59do that to you again.
12:02Do you hear that?
12:04What?
12:07Well, anyway, uh, okay, it's that time I heard it.
12:15I think he's coming from in there.
12:17That's where Ash keeps Necronomicon.
12:20Well, he's got some serious beef with my uncle's necklace.
12:35Don't you?
12:37Don't you?
12:41Don't you?
12:45Don't you?
12:48Don't you?
12:55Don't you?
12:56We need to lock that shit up right now.
13:08so do you need anything else are you good oh i'm good the question is nancy are you good
13:18uh i'm okay sure i have a friend of mine nancy he strings tennis rackets for a living
13:25he is the best he can't do anything else but where do the world's tennis pros go to get their
13:31racket
13:31strung him why because he has a gift fascinating piece of trivia nancy i have a gift too uh-huh
13:40i can make sweet sweet love to a woman like no other man after i lost this hand
13:49this hand became extra sensitive i think you know what i mean the reason i bring this up nancy
13:59is i'm not going to be able to pay that check but i think i've got something much more valuable
14:05i can
14:05give you much more than 22.89 double that at least so nancy would you like me to string your
14:17racket
14:20my husband he's right there the cook see him yeah gotcha we've got to keep this on the down low
14:29okay tell you what act natural beat me in the men's room in three minutes but i gotta warn you
14:34you're
14:34gonna want to leave your husband for me and i can't let that happen family values okay toots see you
14:41in
14:45three
14:46fuck the book i wish we could destroy it oh ashley we can't he tried no dice actually he said
14:55that he
14:56tried burning it but we could we could electrocute it we could freeze it or maybe even a pipe bomb
15:07no ash said we can't because we need the book to help with the deadites but it doesn't help
15:14if anything it just keeps those things coming back around wait
15:21is that what you want what
15:25you told ash you wanted payback
15:29you want to keep the book around some more deadites show up for you to kill no
15:36what why are you looking at me like that kelly you need to be careful of revenge
15:43my uncle he always said pablito beware anger fear revenge if once you start down that path forever it
15:52will dominate your destiny consume you it will did you just yo to quote me yeah
16:02don't worry i'm sure we'll be dead way before then
16:31oh
16:32Oh, cold, cold, cold.
16:40I'd do me all day long.
16:45There you are, baby.
16:47Right on time.
16:49You know, they say waitresses don't get big tips.
16:52Well, that's about to change.
16:53State police!
16:54You're under arrest.
16:55Oh, come on, you again.
16:59Lady, you just don't quit.
17:00Not after what you did to my partner.
17:02Pardon?
17:02I don't even know what the hell you're talking about.
17:04The one you murdered.
17:05Murdered?
17:05Get out of town.
17:06I'm not a killer.
17:07Oh, yes, you are.
17:09No, I kill killers.
17:11Oh, easy on the strike zone there.
17:14Or not.
17:32Oh.
17:33Is that lavender?
17:41I got you, motherfucker.
17:43Like I said, you're under arrest.
17:45For real this time.
17:48Jesus Christ.
17:55You missed your chance, darling.
17:56This gal knows what it's all about.
17:58Shut up and keep walking.
18:03Fisher!
18:04I told you to wait.
18:05He was leaving.
18:06I had to move.
18:07This guy's behind everything.
18:09Wow, there's an overstatement.
18:10The farmhouse, the trailer park, another murder out in the woods where this sicko just burned
18:14a guy to death.
18:15Say what?
18:20Jesus, this is him.
18:21Yeah.
18:22The trailer's outside.
18:23I bet there's evidence all over it.
18:28Okay, buddy.
18:29Let's go.
18:30Robocop is full of baloney.
18:32You know, she accosted me in the little boy's room.
18:34Said she wanted sex with a genuine beef stud.
18:36These are her words.
18:37Look, you can't arrest me.
18:39I'm the only one here who knows how to...
18:42Wait.
18:45Wait.
18:57Fight what?
19:03That.
19:29I think we better dine and dash.
19:54Hey, a new member for my fan club.
20:06You wanted service!
20:21Here's your tip!
20:35I hear you!
20:40Hey! Order up!
20:55What, you never saw a guy with a chainsaw hand before?
21:17I told you I'd kill killers.
21:19Bring it out!
21:21I got this!
21:28Oh shit!
21:40Thin slice!
21:42Just how I like it!
21:43Bring it out!
21:46Come on!
21:48Don't dial me out!
21:50Not you!
21:53Fuck!
21:58Fuck!
21:59My friends!
22:00Come after my family!
22:03Fuck!
22:04Oh, I'm just getting started!
22:06I'm just warping the fuck!
22:08Fuck!
22:09Fuck!
22:11Yeah!
22:11I think she needed that.
22:13You just got 86!
22:14Yep!
22:18Fuck!
22:21Yeah.
22:26He...
22:30Yes!
22:33No.
22:34No!
22:35No!
22:36No!
22:36No!
22:42A-ars!
22:51We need to arm up, as the end is coming.
22:56What happened? Huh?
22:58Slim! Slim!
23:00Fuck!
23:18Well, good news. Found a piece of pie with no blood on it. Anybody want a bite?
23:23No, thank you. I'm good.
23:24Hey, uh, do me a favor. Take that. Give me a sec.
23:30Mm-mm.
23:37How's your day going?
23:38Not great.
23:39Welcome to my world. You walk into a diner, all you want is a pile of hotcakes.
23:43What do you get? A pile of corpses. And everybody wants to blame it on you.
23:47Yeah, Jesus.
23:49Police units are gonna be here any minute.
23:53You could stick around for that.
23:56Or you could come with us.
24:00Where to?
24:01To fight.
24:03We could use someone with your physical qualities.
24:06Um, skills.
24:10I would love to come with you.
24:14Why don't we at the men's room and you can string my racket.
24:19I would be so totally into that.
24:23Into what?
24:26Into you coming with us to fight deadites. Right?
24:32Let's boogie.
24:33Let's boogie.
24:34There's something new that I've been finally found me.
24:38Who ran a gate.
24:39Who had it made.
24:40The street for a bounty.
24:43Never more to go astray.
24:45This will be the end today.
24:47Of the one man.
24:52Oh, mama, I'm in fear for my life from the long arm of the law.
25:01Hangman is coming down from the gallows and I don't have very long.
25:09The two new truck.
25:11The news is out.
25:12They finally found me.
25:14The renegade.
25:16Who had it made.
25:17The street for a bounty.
25:19Never more to go astray.
25:21This will be the end today.
25:23Of the one is man.
25:26The one is man.
25:53Who am I?
25:54Am I somebody who uses a crossbow or, I don't know, a rusty chain?
25:59We're looking for Lem.
26:00He said he could help us out.
26:01Lem.
26:01Lem, Lem?
26:03You think there's another exit door?
26:05No, but I'll say yes just to keep hope alive.
26:08What was that?
26:10I'm going to get you!
26:12I wish I had my rusty chain, yo.
26:16No.
26:17Keep trying.
26:31No.
26:38No.
26:40No.
26:42No.
26:43No.
26:57No.
27:00No.
27:15No.
27:16No.
27:16No.
27:18No.
27:19It was a giant action set piece or visual like his head getting blown off and Ash peeking
27:23over it.
27:23I told you I'd kill killers.
27:25That just makes me smile.
27:27Which I don't know if that's the right reaction, but it really does make me smile.
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