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Gutfeld Show 2/27/26 FULL END SHOW | ᖴO᙭ ᗷᖇEᗩKIᑎG ᑎEᗯS February 27, 2026
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00:18i know i know i know i love me too good evening everyone let's welcome tonight's guest he looks
00:27like the restaurant manager who giggles when your credit card is declined co-host of fox and friends
00:32weekend charlie hurt after you see her act you'll feel like seeing it again a half hour later
00:42comedian jiao ying summers but i stopped that one he looks like the guy who tries to talk to you
00:49at
00:50the urinal ceo and co-founder of the federalist sean davis and she's got no muscle but she's ready
00:59to tussle new york times best-selling author and fox news contributor catch up
01:06all right before we get to some news stories let's do this
01:12greg's leftovers oh they're good i bet it's leftovers where i read the jokes we didn't
01:18use this week and as all as always it's my first time reading them so if they suck we'll send
01:23joe
01:23mackie to the view with a pot roast in his trousers
01:29unemployed anchor don lemon criticized fbi director cash patel for celebrating with the
01:34men's olympic hockey team in the locker room he then asked cash if he happened to take any footage in
01:40the shower under tim waltz minnesota's spending on autism ballooned from one million to three hundred
01:51and forty three million dollars waltz defended this saying he's known for helping people with
01:56disabilities on thursday new york city mayor mamdami made a secret trip to dc to meet with president
02:06trump the president refused to have the meeting unless he showed five forms of id
02:13oh wow i like that one you never know you never know what hits despite earlier claims to the
02:22contrary the biden justice department funneled 18 million dollars to fanny willis not surprisingly
02:2916 million of that money went to stretch pants
02:35in canada a court ruled the state must pay for surgery to give a resident a penis and a vagina
02:44i know apparently the patient has taken voters advice to go f*** himself
02:56this week the blizzard caused super windy conditions in new york city you know that thing on jesse
03:02water's head it's now somewhere over pittsburgh
03:09meanwhile record-breaking heat is expected to sweep across southern california in fact already
03:14two kardashians have melted jasmine crockett is up by double digits in the texas senate democratic
03:23primary i know the last last time she saw double digits is when she had her iq tested
03:33a 98 year old florida woman is the world's oldest competitive pool player i don't want to say she's
03:40getting up there but her best shot is sinking both tits in the corner pocket
03:49the james webb telescope snapped exciting photos of a dying star i think we have one picture
04:04a woman gave birth to a whopping 13 pound baby boy in ithaca new york the baby was so large
04:12that
04:13when the doctors told the mother it's a boy there was an echo
04:23thank you for clapping
04:26a new study shows that rats that have been exposed to cannabis get the munchies
04:31yeah i found out the hard way said one man
04:38great way to get rid of hemorrhoids
04:43men are now spending thousands of dollars to enlarge their penises by having them injected with filler
04:49if you're interested contact dr schaefer and tell him you want the jesse waters special
04:56a kentucky man was arrested after he allegedly had sex with a roadkill deer
05:02i know that was my lunch said one man
05:10governor kathy hochel has allowed a new york grandpa to keep his license plate which reads
05:15pee before we go however delaware still won't allow this man to have poop my pants
05:27the state of texas has the most polyamorous couples this according to the dating site sister wives
05:34not to be confused with the site brother husbands
05:40i don't know why you're unhappy by that
05:43a former body positive influencer said she knew it was time to lose weight
05:47when she was too fat to ride a roller coaster
05:51worse other guests kept confusing her for epcot center
05:57and finally
05:58eight hundred and thirty three roosters were seized in a bay area illegal cockfighting bust
06:05wait did someone say eight hundred and thirty three cocks
06:18i don't feel dirty
06:20all right
06:21so a former vogue editor claims she stormed out of first class because her fellow passengers were old
06:27white men
06:28which is funny i don't know about you but when i fly first class i'm happy to see other old
06:34white guys especially if they're in the cockpit
06:40i don't want to look in there and see women unless they're bringing the pilots coffee
06:47i know i know and who do you think she was gonna see in first class anyway the freaking cast
06:55of soul plane
06:58great movie
06:59now the first thing that struck me about this story is how old it seems
07:03it feels like 2018 all over again when we were all supposed to treat this like more proof of rampant
07:09racism
07:10but now it just feels like a joke and an obvious lie
07:14who knows maybe the captain told gabriella kareefa johnson she had to move so they could balance the plane for
07:21takeoff
07:23i mean no offense but i thought she was the second place finisher in a refrigerator
07:28perry look-alike contest
07:34here's how she described the terrifying ordeal quote i just downgraded myself from first to business
07:40class on my flight to milan
07:42oh poor thing
07:43in a cabin of six five of the passengers were white middle-aged men then there was me a 30
07:49something black woman so she went back to business class because of old white guys
07:55what a brave sacrifice
07:58i get it in business class they don't serve nearly as much ice cream
08:06she's like rosa parks more like rosa pork
08:11but what a martyr she's probably standing by the phone waiting for a call from the pope
08:15or even better oprah sorry moving from first class to business class to get away from middle-aged
08:21white guys that's like moving from new york city to miami to get away from jews
08:27gets worse quote a male flight attendant who thought i'd be okay with substandard service
08:32and persistent microaggression wrong i would sacrifice physical comfort to protect my emotional
08:38and mental well-being any day so substandard service what was the whole fish he was throwing
08:45into her mouth missing the target but sitting in the best seats on a plane headed to milan
08:52is now framed as oppression she thinks she's harriet tubman but she's really harriet i can't fit into
08:59the tub man
09:06but this racket isn't just fake it's also ancient and we see it for what it is a cover for
09:12race
09:13hustling privilege you're not aggrieved you're just an asshole i mean how can how else can someone
09:20turn extra legroom and champagne into a civil rights documentary and what was the microaggression
09:27they didn't thank her for not sitting on them it's not the first time she's done this back in 2023
09:33she
09:34left vogue after ranting about israeli genocide just days after the october 7th attack she split as an
09:42action of solidarity but we know her last action of solidarity was opening a mcdonald's app on her phone
09:49but really it means that she sucked at her job and she needed a bolt before they canned her we've
09:54seen this before kathy griffin don lemon joy reed a wokester using victimhood to cover for their
10:00failures i mean she was the first black woman to style vogue's cover big deal she went to boarding
10:05school then a top college and now she's sitting in first class a privilege most americans work their
10:10lives for it is amazing to watch what 60 years of progressive media academia and the democrat party
10:17have done to some people's minds even more it tells you that those six decades didn't progress anything
10:23because if it's rooted in victimhood even first class won't be enough maybe she wants a section for
10:29black women who think decent people being nice to her is racist it's not happening sooner or later
10:34someone might start wondering what are you even good at she thought she was rosa parks heading back
10:39to the back of the bus but maybe in this case it's a short bus
10:52charlie you know what kills me about this i don't think i flew first class till i was like 40.
10:58you know what i mean she's in her 30s yes i would it's like what do you this is this
11:04is the most
11:04made-up story ever and i'm only doing it to point out how uh what's the word uh
11:12anac anachronistic yeah we've completely everybody has moved on i think you also do it because you
11:17want to prove that it's impossible for gutfeld to run out of fat jokes yes that's true like there's
11:22a limitless supply of nick de paulo worked really hard on that monologue the harriet i'm too big to
11:29fit in the tub man is that was great a yeah sushi right there so no no without a doubt
11:36um no everybody
11:37has moved on but also i also kind of wonder if she's not lying about a lot of this and
11:43the big lie
11:43is in the article she says that i often fly in this cabin which if you fly a lot in
11:49first class i don't
11:49think that's what you say yeah but anyway i often fly i think she's never flown in first class i
11:54think
11:54it was her first time and she was intimidated and she walked in there and then was freaked out by
11:58it
11:58because this was what she you know and again as you point out you're in your 30s and most people
12:04are
12:04in their 50s yeah yeah going to milan and then and this is class to milan is no like and
12:11then but my
12:11favorite line was where she said and i don't suffer fools well good luck yeah that's that's our job
12:21when we run into her right uh jayin summers that's a difficult name it's hard summers summers is hard
12:29very hard jayin everyone can say it everyone can say it um you're expecting i'm keeping it i i
12:38it's fox my tattoo yeah i i'm keeping it because it's a boy yeah that is good thank you we
12:45were
12:45worried yeah it's a boy come on a girl yeah it's so true that's the way we do things around
12:55here so
12:56if you were in first you do fly first class i would assume yes sometimes when i don't feel very
13:01chinese
13:01i do i i'm i'm honest she's not rosa parks she's rosa attention seeking that's what she wants for
13:09attention if if it's a if it's a boss in the sky it's probably spirit you know everyone is second
13:14citizen anyway group nine yeah do you guys read in the article that uh she resigned from vogue as
13:21editor at large i think that's probably they used to call her fat and she's not angry about the killing
13:27uh of children in gaza she's mad you guys call me fat call me editor at large and tiny yes
13:33i think
13:33that's what she thought yes cats should she be commended for her bravery for coming out and saying
13:41this i mean listen i things have changed though because if this would have happened in 2018 then i
13:51think she would be a lot more probably because we don't even really know she just said there were
13:55microaggressions we didn't like get any details on what those were or anything like that i you know
14:01who i want to hear from whoever took her seat yes because if she left that seat someone got upgraded
14:10and they were they were probably like like i want the champagne that's very colombo of you yeah there's
14:18somebody out there it's like who who took a seat yeah what gave it up to another old white guy
14:23what did she take oh did she give her seat to another minority right who took this it was it
14:29i
14:30mean there are a lot of old white guys in first class for i fly first class a lot there
14:34were old
14:34white guys there but then they're always like hey cat that is that is your fan yeah i'm not going
14:40to
14:41disparage old white men they gave me a career who's clapping okay thank you old white men
14:49and the wives are like this
14:55she's not that cute
14:58she looks like a horse when she laughs
15:04i only said that once by the way she did say that what killed me sean is that she used
15:09the word
15:10microaggression which i is like it is such it's almost like a 2015 word it's the only thing in
15:16her life that's micro yeah so i the person i want to hear from is not who took her seat
15:22it's who had
15:23to sit next to her when she moved back to business class like what did that guy do to deserve
15:28that
15:29let's talk about reparations and let's talk about restoring that guy there needs to be reparations for
15:35obnoxiousness but we but also if you're flying international on business there's it's not a big
15:41difference i mean there's there's probably nobody sitting next to her in business either yeah i i
15:47wouldn't know i'm i'm just a poor common journo flying in coach everywhere you fly coach always that's
15:54good for you that's because i'm poor bad for you do you ever do you fly a first class a
16:00lot no i use
16:02my energy when i can fly first class i'm very chinese yes yeah chinese don't like first class
16:07well we like it when it's free yes but who doesn't i i if i can fly i don't care
16:14i can i'll i'll sit
16:16alone in first class there's yeah hungry children in the back i would you know what i prefer to fly
16:23first class with hungry children in the back that makes me feel good what's your problem
16:29at least i'm honest all right up next the minnesota mess
16:37if you'll be in the new york area and would like tickets to seagull a story in five words
16:47wtf is up with minnesota sean fox reported on this skyrocketing amount of money that minnesota is
16:54spending on autism care since tim waltz got into a governorship it's increased 34 000 percent in just
17:02a few years 2017 autism treatment they spent like under two million dollars 2024 350 million dollars
17:12paid out for this treatment is this not insane well at least it's fixed autism it's not a problem
17:18yeah so we have that going for us and what's crazy is so much of it is going to random
17:23somalis
17:24in minneapolis and it actually makes me feel good because i know that they had a number cruncher back
17:29there yeah he was looking at the spreadsheets and crunching the data and he's like this is the group
17:34above all others who can best care for autistic kids and it has nothing to do with the fact that
17:38they
17:38vote entirely for democrat we need to pay them off yeah no that's that's just a coincidence yeah yeah how
17:44dare you question that it isn't but how how come how is waltz still allowed to be in office when
17:50this
17:51is happening well because they're voting him into office it's what's amazing is that you seem to look
17:55at every federal program and every state program now and it seems to exist entirely to loot taxpayers
18:01and give it to some sort of favored political constituency and i think the only group not getting money
18:07charlie is middle-aged white males yeah did you say to charlie and not me because you don't consider
18:14me middle-aged more senior how many 122 year olds do you know you guys suck jiao ying i'm going
18:23to play
18:24you a clip of governor waltz he spoke about this fraud recently watch it we've been very candid and open
18:31trying to solve this misinformation doesn't help us fix fraud you can trust me on this the person who's
18:36angriest about this fraud is me there is certainly no political upside to having fraud in your state
18:41and it undermines the very program that i have spent a lifetime advocating for and trying to implement
18:47and we have got criminals isn't it great uh jiao ying how he is really angry about his own failures
18:54he is
18:55and he's speaking the language of the autism people he's and i spent a lifetime uh on autism which
19:02autism is actually his yacht uh name used to name uh lady autism but now a transition the surgery was
19:10very expensive too i think what do you think uh what do you think this money is actually going
19:17i think of fishing and hunting
19:21i think so he loves fish he loves to fish that is true that is true and he loves tampons
19:26cat you know
19:27who doesn't yeah who does it yeah they do exactly what they say you look at him you know you
19:35know
19:35it's right on the can they come in cans right have you ever been closer than this to a woman
19:48so anyway something you might totally understand this somali truck driver was recently caught driving a
19:57semi truck that's not a full truck semi uh the wrong way for miles for miles on a highway in
20:06missouri
20:06and get this after stopping him authorities found out that he has a minnesota commercial driver's
20:13license and he couldn't read basic road signs and failed an english proficiency test something that
20:19jiao ying had could understand i i feel like he probably was trying to drive the
20:2720 ton of grocery back to somalia he wanted to be a hero yeah cat what is wrong with minnesota
20:34it's
20:34like every day yeah i've listen i haven't driven in a very long time that is true uh but i
20:41feel like
20:41being able to read the signs is an important part of that yes like i mean listen i'm i am
20:50against most
20:51government regulations most government involvement i do feel like they shouldn't just give you a semi
20:58truck yeah they're probably really hard on gun control yeah you can't get a gun but here's a 40 ton
21:05vehicle i feel like there could be some who can just have a semi truck as evidence by he was
21:12driving it the
21:13wrong way i feel like that is something where it's important to have that a little bit regulated yeah
21:21and he went along he went for a while charlie shouldn't they treat minnesota like a restaurant
21:27that gets a really bad like rating close it down start over get a new chef yeah i mean there's
21:33so many
21:33things there's so it's not the customer's fault it's the people running it put the score the f on the
21:39window yes you walk in so you know yeah no apparently it is the special needs capital of
21:44the world yeah um and what's really amazing about it is that even though uh tim waltz has managed to
21:50pay all this money pay off all these people to vote for him he still can't run for re-election
21:55in his own state yeah and he was the standard bearer just a year ago for the party or a
22:00year and a half
22:01ago for the party which i think is uh pretty indicative of something uh but the other thing is like
22:06you know you got bored with what you were saying i was totally because i actually only have one
22:11thing i want to say about this yes and that is the the the guy driving the wrong way on
22:16the highway
22:16this just proves that road signs are irrelevant today we don't need road signs really they litter the
22:23highway no one needs it everybody knows where they're this is a very liberal uh uh maybe it is
22:30libertarian maybe it is we need to take all the freaking road signs down because we don't need
22:37them anymore what about stop signs except for stop signs you have no no you know you can have like
22:40three different types of stop signs speed limit maybe but you don't really even need that uh stop
22:45signs and uh that's about it but i mean you're merging you know you're going to merge you don't need
22:51eight uh signs telling you that you're going to turn right up here if you want to turn right
22:56this is it's litter and it it it like destroys the beauty of our highways and byways so i'm i
23:04just
23:04want to you are actually defend you're defending the trucker and no i'm saying that he just proved
23:10that you don't even need you know what else i thought he just said that he's against memorial
23:14highways for loved ones you know what you know what actually i think if you could have the troops
23:19a a tiny sign that recognizes the troops and the people that but it's not on the you have to
23:26get
23:27you have to park pull over i don't know how you're going to show your face on fox and friends
23:30tomorrow
23:31with that take on the troops they're still there it's just you have to get out of your car how
23:36will
23:36i know that drunk driving is bad you know you don't need a sign to tell you that the signs
23:43are there for
23:43that reason legal reasons so somebody says i didn't know i didn't know you guys should have
23:49a sign said driving the wrong way is bad that's funny but minnesota is the is an example of uh
23:59progressivism without uh oversight they're the reason everything is going wrong they're the reason
24:04we need road signs yes there you go well he just contradicted himself that's why he's on fox and
24:11friend's weekend can't have him can't have him on uh can't have him on during the week can't have
24:18him on during the week it'd embarrass the hell out of the network up next we nailed the pedo perp
24:36thank you thank you and you will thank me for this because tonight in gut felt gets results
24:46california's pedophile pervert ain't going nowhere convicted molester and monster david funston was all
24:52set to be free through california's effed up elderly release program when he was slapped
24:58upside that bald head of his with a new sex assault charge that will keep him behind bars
25:03gee i wonder what could have caused that to happen it doesn't even matter if none of them reoffend
25:11because the original sentence isn't just for him it's also for the victims yes who are going through
25:16their own punishment and who is this a-hole judge who has no connection to the crimes who didn't sit
25:23through the the trial to come in and go hey you know what this guy can't get a boner anymore
25:28let him
25:28out this guy has 16 counts he should be murdered uh in the chair that was eloquent murdered
25:41so an hour after that another d another d-a hit him with a new charge stemming from an alleged
25:48child
25:48sex assault in 1996 well within their statute of limitations see cat it's statute not statute
25:56the d-a saying they held back on charging him at the time because he was already convicted and
26:01sentenced in another county and they thought he was going away for life so no need to charge him
26:06again and how wrong they were which raises some key questions should this tucked away charge be a
26:13future strategy in case some bureaucratic douchebag will undo a permanent sentence because the perp now
26:19has an aarp card and here's another good question where the is my emmy yeah
26:33at this point i mean after all the good i've done for society i still have to wear this stupid
26:39ankle
26:40monitor cat do you feel safer knowing that i'm looking out for you i think i'm a little old
26:47for child molesters greg don't sell yourself short there are outfits that you can get on the internet
26:59are you uncomfortable no never um yeah i love that you're taking credit for this like like like you
27:07were the only one with this take i think i led the charge as i do on many issues with
27:15cats you know
27:16i could point to many things it is it is wild that they had to get creative here with this
27:21i mean you
27:22really do think there are certain values that unite the country and then you think that there are certain
27:26values that unite most countries and you think that this is one of them yeah that people who rape kids
27:32got to stay behind bars yeah but apparently there are yeah you don't you can clap yeah um
27:39yeah nobody's gonna say well hold on there i don't want to be seen cheering for that
27:47it's it's it's the it is most people it really is it's just like this tiny group of people that
27:53really like i want to talk to you like what's what's up it's about process they they hear oh we're
28:00getting we're getting people out of prison that's their metric so that is success and they don't
28:05like look at the context well where do those people go jiao ying in the old days life in prison
28:11was the
28:11humane alternative to the death penalty and now we're turning life in prison to some kind of like
28:17retirement age where you can just age out of it i just don't have sympathy for child rapists because
28:23in china if you rape a child it's death sentence i think in america we should have a public
28:28castration and uh and you know the movie weapons yeah thank you the movie weapons all the little
28:36kids they run through buildings and they just tear this person apart and kill him i think that's great
28:41i can't i just because in china we believe that dogs are delicious but kids taste like you know nobody
28:46want to lick it you can't touch them you touch them you die and also i can't believe it because
28:51you are
28:51old you can come out for free it's like a senior discount you know yeah yeah he's he ripped a
28:57kid who's
28:58four years old they're gonna let's run down to zero year old this kid don't exist he can just go
29:03to
29:03denny's and get real three and get two for free he's 60. yeah no it's true it's true it's it's
29:08like
29:08going to the movies getting that little like you know when you get a senior discount still yeah you
29:14can still get a senior discount even if you're a pedophile i don't know i've never had to
29:20never had to ask that question but he ripped slow he's gentle yeah yeah oh i bet i bet charlie
29:29that this is also for his safety oh don't you think i mean if he went out that's i mean
29:36think
29:36about all these these victims families that are living with this stuff and he's out i mean they
29:42they'll know somebody who knows somebody who can you know well so i mean my first question was has he
29:47been castrated because if you know i guess that would be one thing if he had been that would because
29:53it's more than just victims it's future victims right if they had great but by the way they i've
29:57read that even if you castrate and they can still rape yeah because it's of course it's about way more
30:02than that it's about violence it's about power and this guy was i mean this guy was like a cartoon
30:07evil character using like barbie dolls and candy to lure little children into a van and then i mean
30:15it's it's like the worst stuff that you could ever uh that you could ever imagine and he was
30:20doing all of it it's a real live case uh where that was happening and um but you know and
30:25then
30:26you have these politicians who look at this and to them like prison is performative it's all just sort
30:31of like an idea or something it's like no that's not what it is yeah as you said it's we
30:35can kill him
30:36or we put him in jail for the rest of his life and that's to for restitution but also to
30:41keep him from
30:42being a a violent dirty creep to future people future children yeah good point charlie really
30:50uh well i don't know i'm not i'm not gonna say i didn't zone out but sean so i was
30:58thinking about
30:59this all right is this going to create a new tactic where okay i have six charges against charlie but
31:04i'm going to hold one because i have to like have that in the you know in the drawer in
31:10case some
31:10judge or a panel of judges lets him out in 15 years yeah might be a good idea to do
31:17that you
31:17you read stories like this and you you almost wonder if it's made up how could california possibly
31:23be that evil and you ask yourself if the devil himself were writing these laws could you tell
31:29a difference and i don't think you could but i think the ultimate loophole to get around this stuff
31:34is if you just execute them right after the trial it's not a problem yeah long trees tall trees and
31:42short ropes fix lots of lots of problems tall trees and short ropes yep yeah there you go thank you
31:51for
31:51acting it out sounded like a country music song you know i think this is i think this happened because
31:58newsom needed to get this off his plate if he's gonna run oh because this would have been a huge
32:02talking
32:02point you know you let child molesters out so he probably had to run into he what what happened
32:07was he saw me on tv and then ran it happens coming up our pick of the week
32:29that intro was way too bravo channel for me a recent threads post criticizes the family who left a
32:38massive mess at their restaurant booth with commenters arguing whether it's bad manners bad
32:43parenting or no big deal i'm looking at that it looks like there was a child seat there there's
32:48a bunch of napkins and crap on the table it does look pretty messy the floor is a mess uh
32:54jaylene what
32:56do you think about this do you think that race is involved i just want to know how much do
33:02they tip
33:03yeah i'll shut my chinese lady mouth i won't talk also people are saying they eat like animals no the
33:10the animals lick everything clean yes my my dog would eat the crutches of my underwear yeah they
33:19i just i want to see how much money they left for the tip depends well i imagine it had
33:24something to do
33:25with children sean don't you think you know this i'm just looking at the photo here analyzing it i see
33:31a child's chair there this is why i'm the host and pointed that out they had a baby maybe they
33:38were in a
33:38hurry what do you think sean do you think do you think society is going to hell do you think
33:43this is
33:44satan's table satan's sitting at that table sean i like the amount of colombo work you did on that
33:52to deduce that a child was there i'm i'm reminded of an old demotivational poster that people used to
33:58have in their cubicles and it said the beatings will continue until morale improves yeah maybe some
34:05beatings would help here i sense a trend with you sean so you're saying the restaurant workers should
34:10beat the kids exactly that took it right out of my mouth he wants people to hang and i think
34:17we've
34:18learned a lot about you sean you may look calm and docile in that seat but you're a maniac
34:26charlie uh you have kids yeah yeah somewhere um is that a mess that you've left before look at that
34:36no no no no of course not um no and the beatings would definitely continue if that were but i
34:41don't
34:42know that you're right you know sometimes a restaurant will use the high chair to serve
34:47the pizza on and so uh you know to set that where you go oh yeah and and and then
34:54is pizza a code for
34:56something and then and then they're those are margarita glasses you can see the salt on the rim wow it
35:03could be just a bunch of teenagers uh getting uh wild and crazy um which is even they they should
35:10be beaten even worse if that's the case uh but the other thing is like who took the picture did
35:15the
35:15waiter the waiter or the waitress take the picture and if that's the case then um you know that it's
35:21like you know you you can clean it up if i was the waiter i would have taken the picture
35:27and i would
35:28said that i we will never allow the view to eat here again thank you
35:39never run out of fat jokes no you don't that wasn't a fat joke by the way oh i don't
35:44know what
35:44kind of joke it was but they like they like that shame my jokes charlie they like high chairs yes
35:48high chairs that is interesting that charlie thinks the high chair wasn't for a child yeah do you think
35:54maybe they were serving the child to that family that evil satanic family yeah could this be another
36:01pizza gate look i agree i agree with joe yang it depends on how much if like if when i
36:09waited tables
36:09for years if i saw that and i had to clean it up i'd be like ugh but my my
36:13day already sucked anyway
36:14honestly yeah uh and if i saw it was a big tip i wouldn't care i'd be like you can
36:19take a on the
36:20table it doesn't matter to me i might take you up on it are there restaurants that let you do
36:28that
36:30if there were you would know yeah yeah i don't know there's a lot of unanswered questions
36:37i don't think we i don't think we solved this uh this thing i don't know
36:41so maybe we should just wrap up the segment maybe you're the host i am for now anyway all right
36:46up next
36:47viewer mail
36:48Let's go.
37:18Let's go.
37:20Let's go.
37:22Let's go.
37:25Let's go.
37:27Let's go.
37:30Let's go.
37:33Let's go.
37:38Yep.
37:40You're watching Mailing It In.
37:45Steve Allen asks,
37:47what movie would
37:48you have been a great actor
37:50in? Charlie, I look at you
37:53and I see 80s villain.
37:54You know, you got the hair. You could be like
37:57Robocop 3, an
37:58executive, an executive
38:01that has a new robot
38:02that like, I don't know,
38:05kills people.
38:06I didn't really think this through.
38:08Well, I
38:10hate to reward you, but
38:12I would definitely say either
38:14Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid
38:15or Lonesome Dove.
38:17Just because they do like, big things
38:20and then they talk a lot
38:22of like, weird philosophizing.
38:24Wow. That was boring.
38:28Robocop.
38:28Yeah, Robocop.
38:30Definitely like a villain
38:31and like a lethal weapon thing.
38:33It's just the hair, dude.
38:34You got villain hair.
38:37Mad Max.
38:38Yeah, Mad, yes.
38:39Zhao Ying, what about you?
38:40I would think I can be Jackie Chan
38:42on Rush Hour.
38:44Because as a Chinese woman,
38:46if I don't have my makeup on,
38:47I'm a man.
38:50They can pay me half
38:52and the same money on makeup.
38:56All right.
38:58I'm looking at you, Sean.
39:00You could be in an Office Space sequel.
39:04I'm just going to say
39:05what everyone's thinking.
39:08It's Coneheads.
39:11No.
39:15You're the guy who's trying to sell insurance
39:17to Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
39:19Ned Ryerson.
39:21Ooh.
39:25Even when you're laughing.
39:28Steven Tabloski?
39:29Is that the actor?
39:30Steven Tabloski?
39:32No?
39:32Well, nobody knows who he is,
39:34so why am I even saying it?
39:35What about you, Kat?
39:37Home Alone 3.
39:39Yeah, because for the third one,
39:41they picked a kid that looked nothing
39:42like Macaulay Culkin.
39:43Mmm.
39:44I was available.
39:47I would have made a great Kevin.
39:48Yeah.
39:49I would have liked to have been in or to be in something along the lines of Silence of the
39:54Lambs.
39:55I would have been a great serial killing cannibal.
39:58Right?
39:59Mmm.
40:01Yes.
40:02Yeah.
40:02I think I'd actually do method acting.
40:05Right?
40:06Where I would be in character all the time.
40:09When I'm done with the shoot,
40:11I'd just go out into the street and kill and eat people.
40:15And you could open the door and say,
40:17Oh yeah, she's a great big fat girl.
40:20All right.
40:21That's it.
40:22Don't go away.
40:25.
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