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00:00:01Breaking news, Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:07What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten state, no one knows.
00:00:12Alright, everybody get out. We got an important guest coming. You.
00:00:24Def, I said pack up and scram.
00:00:27You have to conversate for today's losses.
00:00:32You want me to say that again?
00:00:34You know who's visiting today? Ellen freaking Musk. One of the richest people in the world.
00:00:40Ellen Musk? You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:00:48Alright, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:00:51If she does this so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:00:57Deal.
00:01:03Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within 10 minutes. Or else, you're fired.
00:01:18Five. Four. Three. Two. One.
00:01:29Ellen. Uh, I mean, Miss Musk. I'm sorry to frighten you.
00:01:37No.
00:01:37No, no, I'm sorry for defending your boss. No, I won't do it again.
00:01:42All right, that's enough. We're not tyrants here.
00:01:47I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me
00:01:52to.
00:01:53Is it going to be the best anniversary gift ever?
00:01:55That project is worth billions. He can finally take his company public.
00:01:58But, Angela, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true
00:02:05identity.
00:02:08I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:02:14Well, three years ago.
00:02:33He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:02:36I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with
00:02:41a billionaire heiress.
00:02:43So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:02:47I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:02:53Where the hell are you? Get home, stat. It's a big day today.
00:03:00That was...
00:03:01My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:03:07But, she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:03:12You know, she even remembered our third year anniversary.
00:03:18Please spend more time with my son.
00:03:20Hi, I'm home.
00:03:22I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:03:24Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:03:34Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:03:37God!
00:03:38Don't call me Mom again.
00:03:39We're ending that relationship.
00:03:42Just look at you.
00:03:43Dirt all over.
00:03:44You don't deserve my son.
00:03:46You're way below his league.
00:03:48That's right.
00:03:49Jared is signing a hundred-billion-dollar contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk.
00:03:55And then his company's going public.
00:03:57You will always just be a pawn.
00:04:02Like dirt on our shoes.
00:04:05Dirt on your shoes?
00:04:08You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife!
00:04:13Enough!
00:04:14Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:04:19But I am.
00:04:23Here's five hundred thousand.
00:04:25You'll never make this much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:04:28Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:04:31I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:04:36Did that not mean anything to you?
00:04:39You sicken me!
00:04:44Now sign the papers, take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:04:59I don't need your penny money.
00:05:03We're finished.
00:05:05You don't want the money that's your loss.
00:05:08Your check is just pennies to me.
00:05:10But I would like my ring back.
00:05:14Mom.
00:05:22Mom.
00:05:27Mom.
00:05:29Mom.
00:05:31Mom.
00:05:32Have fun on your economy flight while I catch you out of my private helicopter out of here.
00:05:42And I'm way out of your league.
00:05:52Wait, isn't that the Winston blue diamond ring?
00:05:56It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:06:11Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before
00:06:15the bidding.
00:06:16Vanderbilt?
00:06:16Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies.
00:06:19Basically our employee.
00:06:20Well, I can just meet about the summit tomorrow.
00:06:22What, you're still going to the summit tomorrow?
00:06:24But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:06:26That's exactly why I'm going.
00:06:31Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:06:34My runaway bride.
00:06:38Where is she?
00:06:38Atlanta.
00:06:39And you were right.
00:06:40It was secretly her propping up Elon Musk.
00:06:43My clever bride.
00:06:44I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:06:51Max.
00:06:52Prep the jet.
00:06:53I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:06:59Dr. Wilson.
00:07:00He's having Sterling's on the move.
00:07:01He's headed to Atlanta.
00:07:03Atlanta?
00:07:03The game is afoot.
00:07:05I'm going.
00:07:06Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:07:07The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:07:09He can wait.
00:07:09Hey.
00:07:09I need to pick up my bride.
00:07:15Oh, Dr. Wilson.
00:07:18General Eisenhower reporting.
00:07:21Stephen Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:07:24Atlanta.
00:07:26Where is that?
00:07:28Whatever.
00:07:29Prepare my war plane.
00:07:30With Dosu going after my fiance.
00:07:33This isn't all.
00:07:39mulch.
00:07:55Enter the law court.
00:07:57I finally found you.
00:07:59Who is he?
00:08:00That.
00:08:01That's Devin Sterling.
00:08:02è il numero uno di Forbes 30 on the 30 list, è un investito in crypto, CEO di Starling
00:08:08Enterprises, il rumore ha che è worth trillions, e è il mio fianco.
00:08:17Mi fianco?
00:08:18Il 1 e 0.
00:08:19Quindi, dopo aver riuscito e lasciato me solo per 3 anni,
00:08:25hai capito come fare con me?
00:08:27Babe?
00:08:36That tiara looks perfect on you!
00:08:43You skank!
00:08:45My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:08:49Divorced?
00:08:50That's right, so I guess this was never meant to be Mr...
00:08:55Sterling!
00:08:58Devon, Sterling.
00:08:59So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:09:03Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:09:11How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:09:14Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:09:17Do you know who I am?
00:09:18They don't know who you are.
00:09:21You hide it well.
00:09:22X-Team!
00:09:24Teach these fools a lesson.
00:09:26Teach these fools a lesson.
00:09:29You bitch!
00:09:31I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:09:36A kiss!
00:09:37That's a reward, lady.
00:09:40No!
00:09:47The guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:09:50You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffet, old money like me.
00:09:56Gentlemen, Harvey Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:09:58Pleased to meet you all.
00:10:00Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution.
00:10:03What an honor.
00:10:04I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:10:06It's worth billions of dollars.
00:10:09Congrats!
00:10:10You'll be next.
00:10:11Thank you.
00:10:12Well, we haven't received the contract yet, but we deserve it.
00:10:15It was hard.
00:10:16Oh, that's nothing.
00:10:16I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:10:19The Vanderbilts and Ms. Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:10:21So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:10:27Thank you, Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:10:28Now, we just have to impress Ms. Musk's special guest of honor.
00:10:32Yes, I heard they're a very important, powerful guest.
00:10:36Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:10:39Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot,
00:10:43we can feast for generations.
00:10:48I'll do my best.
00:10:54Excuse me.
00:10:55Second, gentlemen.
00:10:56What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:11:01How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:11:04How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:11:06Me, a hobo.
00:11:08How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:11:11Sleep your way in.
00:11:12I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:11:15Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:11:18Don't flatter yourself.
00:11:23This is your ex-husband?
00:11:25What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:11:28Who the hell is this?
00:11:29You were cheating on me?
00:11:38You have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:11:40That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:11:45They even took Kaylee's tiara!
00:11:50You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:11:54Get your hands off of her.
00:12:01My lady.
00:12:17My queen.
00:12:20It's...
00:12:20It's him!
00:12:22He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:12:25These seats are reserved for THE Ellen Musk and her special guest!
00:12:31Oh, shut up, old man.
00:12:33You fuckers, you know who that is?
00:12:35That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:12:37You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:12:41Vanderbilt.
00:12:41I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:44The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:12:48who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:12:54Oh, goddammit!
00:12:55A stomach ache now?
00:12:56Mmm, whatever.
00:12:58Angela can handle herself.
00:12:59She'll be fine.
00:13:03How dare you call one of us low?
00:13:06I'm Harvey F. Buffett,
00:13:08the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:13:11I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:13:14And I can wipe you out with a strand of my hair.
00:13:18Not with me around.
00:13:19I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:13:24You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:13:27You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:13:29We've had enough of your games.
00:13:31Security!
00:13:32Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:13:35Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:13:38But don't worry.
00:13:39You got your money here.
00:13:41I can handle myself, thank you.
00:13:43Yes, my grant.
00:13:44You're all despicable.
00:13:46An insult to your family names.
00:13:50Now, it's my turn to roll.
00:13:53Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:13:56Cut off all business ties.
00:13:58And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:14:05Ha!
00:14:06I knew it!
00:14:07You're here to fuck with me.
00:14:08You can't fool anyone here.
00:14:10How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:14:14You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:14:18You have nothing.
00:14:20And you will always be nothing.
00:14:23She's a gold digger.
00:14:25Gold digger.
00:14:26Jingle out.
00:14:28Wanna try me very much?
00:14:30Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:14:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:14:35They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:14:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:14:40She's only here to try and ruin my bid on the Maple Plaza project.
00:14:43I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:14:46Security!
00:14:54You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:14:57And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:14:59Insolent fools.
00:15:01Let me guess.
00:15:02You're that special guest?
00:15:05I don't know.
00:15:06Throw them out!
00:15:07And not without some broken bones too.
00:15:14Back down Max.
00:15:19I got this.
00:15:41What the hell are you two doing here?
00:15:43I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:15:45No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:15:48Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:15:57Angela!
00:15:58Angela!
00:16:00Don't hurt her!
00:16:01You bitch.
00:16:02I've always been sick of you.
00:16:04You just threw yourself at me.
00:16:05How dare you insult my boss like that!
00:16:08Boss?
00:16:09Did she say her boss?
00:16:11Miss Musk?
00:16:12That's Ellen Musk?
00:16:14That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:16:16My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:16:20Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:16:23Past the American Revolution.
00:16:24Back to the Renaissance.
00:16:26If she's your boss, that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:16:30That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:16:31She's royalty.
00:16:32And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:16:36What do you do?
00:16:38Kneel!
00:16:38To me!
00:16:40Oh!
00:16:41Lady Lockhart, welcome to America, your majesty.
00:16:46We're all your loyal subjects.
00:16:48Yes, your highness, or was it the queen or princess?
00:16:53It doesn't matter!
00:16:55My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:16:58Yes, we didn't mean to offend.
00:17:01Hey, what are you doing, idiot?
00:17:03Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness!
00:17:15What rightfully belongs to you.
00:17:32She's a badass herself.
00:17:35He missed out on a good wife.
00:17:38You!
00:17:39You!
00:17:40You!
00:17:41You told me your wife was a hippie peddler!
00:17:43Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time!
00:17:46No!
00:17:46No!
00:17:46Don't believe their lies!
00:17:47I worked hard for everything!
00:17:49You worked for everything?
00:17:54So, our third year anniversary is coming up,
00:17:57and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:17:59I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:18:02I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project
00:18:05and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:18:10You were nothing before me!
00:18:13All your achievements, all your glory, that's all mine!
00:18:17Including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:18:20I can take all of that away, just like that.
00:18:25No, you can't take that away from me!
00:18:26That's why Elon Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody!
00:18:30Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:18:33I forgot to tell you.
00:18:34It was Queen Victoria's,
00:18:36and its worth is equivalent to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:18:44Oh, I gave you back the ring?
00:18:46I divorced a royal heiress?
00:18:49No!
00:18:50No!
00:18:51No!
00:18:51Please!
00:18:51No!
00:18:52No!
00:18:52Please take me back, baby!
00:18:54I still love you!
00:18:57Aw, man.
00:18:58Looks like they started the party without us.
00:19:00No one's allowed to start a fight if I called Eisenhower!
00:19:06Guard these two again.
00:19:08Did he say...
00:19:09Is he called Eisenhower?
00:19:11President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:19:13After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:19:15each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:19:19the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:19:20I'm glad you buffoons know your history.
00:19:22Sorry, I'm late, babe.
00:19:23I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:19:25Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:19:32And that there is...
00:19:33That is the legendary boy genius Dr. Wilson.
00:19:38He's Dr. House's protege.
00:19:40Dr. House?
00:19:40Yes.
00:19:41I thought that was just a TV show.
00:19:42Oh, no.
00:19:43That's based on real thinking.
00:19:44Yep, that's me.
00:19:46Son of James House.
00:19:47Dr. House?
00:19:48He's practically my uncle.
00:19:50I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him when I was just 12 years old.
00:19:54So he's been off crying himself a waterfall somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 14 years.
00:19:59And I'm late because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:20:07Hey, Allen.
00:20:08Who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:20:11Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:20:15What?
00:20:16Fiancés?
00:20:19Plural?
00:20:20Fiancés?
00:20:21Plural?
00:20:23Watch it, nerds.
00:20:24I'm her fiancée.
00:20:26No, I'm her fiancée.
00:20:27You can both sign up.
00:20:29I'm her fiancée.
00:20:30It's you.
00:20:31It's me.
00:20:32Who the hell is he?
00:20:33I'm Spider-Man.
00:20:36How are all three of these men my fiancée?
00:20:41Uh, your father had arranged these engagements years ago, but I didn't tell you because you
00:20:45decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:20:48She has three bad-ass fiancés and she marries his dumbass.
00:20:55Whatever.
00:20:56Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:21:01Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:21:06At your service.
00:21:08Me too.
00:21:13One down, two more to go.
00:21:16She's become queen.
00:21:17Bishop to g4.
00:21:22Ow!
00:21:23Ow!
00:21:23What is that?
00:21:25The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:21:32Rook to a8.
00:21:38Hello?
00:21:41I thought I was king.
00:21:43No, you wish.
00:21:44The king doesn't do anything, so Ellen can be my king.
00:21:48Oh, fine.
00:21:53Bankrupt the forwards right this second.
00:22:00I...
00:22:02I've been bankrupt!
00:22:03No!
00:22:05Who is it?
00:22:11I've been bankrupt!
00:22:13No!
00:22:14I told you I would remove all of you from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:22:19Well, guess what?
00:22:20Game over.
00:22:21Alright, boys.
00:22:23Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:22:25Oh, that's serious business.
00:22:27I'm right with you!
00:22:30Wait for me!
00:22:31Nobody beats me to the finish line!
00:22:41Angela!
00:22:45You already have three fiancés?
00:22:48You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:22:50I...
00:22:51want compensation.
00:22:55You greedy SOB.
00:22:57Who the fuck is that?
00:22:58My ex-husband.
00:23:00Wait, you were married?
00:23:02Yeah, and if that's a problem for you, then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:23:07More for me.
00:23:08No, no, of course not.
00:23:09Just...
00:23:10Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:23:13Don't steal my joke!
00:23:14I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:23:16All evidence of your past with him will become.
00:23:19What?
00:23:20Is there something on my face?
00:23:21Uh, yeah.
00:23:23Murderous intent.
00:23:25Let's remarry.
00:23:27Let's remarry.
00:23:28You still don't realize.
00:23:31I only fell in love with you because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:24:01Sir!
00:24:02It's an emergency!
00:24:03We need to wreck right away.
00:24:05Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:24:09Okay, I'm on my way.
00:24:13She should be okay now.
00:24:18Hey, you!
00:24:19Watch over here.
00:24:20I'll be right back.
00:24:30You saved me.
00:24:34Fuck.
00:24:35I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:24:39Fuck.
00:24:40I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:24:42You've cheated on me.
00:24:44You've hit me.
00:24:45You've insulted me.
00:24:47And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:24:51I fucking hate you.
00:24:54And the lady Lockhart.
00:24:56God.
00:24:57What now?
00:24:59Yes.
00:24:59We understand that you are a very busy person.
00:25:03But if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:25:07How about us three?
00:25:08Yes.
00:25:08Unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:25:12Yeah.
00:25:13No.
00:25:13You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:25:16But...
00:25:16This is your fault you doofus!
00:25:19We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:25:21No.
00:25:22No.
00:25:23We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockhart.
00:25:28I'll help me!
00:25:30I'll get you for this!
00:25:38Never should have listened to you!
00:25:39I'm ruined because of you!
00:25:40No!
00:25:55So...
00:25:56What's the situation here?
00:25:57I want to marry you!
00:26:07I want to marry you!
00:26:11Listen...
00:26:12I only met you guys a few hours ago.
00:26:15And...
00:26:15I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:26:17But...
00:26:18What if I told you...
00:26:20That we've known each other for much longer...
00:26:22Than just a few hours?
00:26:24Much longer.
00:26:28Angela?
00:26:29Your parents would like to have a video call with...
00:26:32All of you?
00:26:36My lovely princess, how are you?
00:26:39Look!
00:26:40Your mother and I are in Italy!
00:26:41The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:26:44Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:26:46I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing blood-sucking free little husband of yours.
00:26:54Can't call his name, but...
00:26:56Anyway, congratulations!
00:26:58I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:27:03You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:27:07Let me do it!
00:27:09You must choose one of them in seven days, otherwise...
00:27:14We'll kill ourselves.
00:27:16Mom!
00:27:17All right, honey, that's it!
00:27:20Bye!
00:27:21Bye!
00:27:25So...
00:27:26Who are we going to choose?
00:27:30Well...
00:27:31What if I...
00:27:32Want all three of you?
00:27:35Well...
00:27:36What if I...
00:27:37Want all three of you?
00:27:40That seems greedy.
00:27:48But...
00:27:48I can always remove the other two options.
00:27:52Hey!
00:27:53I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:27:56I know and have access to all the devious poisons in the world.
00:28:01Whoa!
00:28:02Okay!
00:28:02No murder, please!
00:28:04I was just kidding!
00:28:06We have seven days to win her over.
00:28:09Ooh!
00:28:10It's like the Bachelorette!
00:28:12I know!
00:28:13We'll start with challenge one.
00:28:17Welcome to the show, the three badasses who want me.
00:28:21Today, we have our first challenge.
00:28:25What is all of this, Ellen?
00:28:28You'll see.
00:28:38Oh my god! Oh my god! Cockroaches!
00:28:40All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:28:43And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:28:49What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single, but screaming her head off, heiress?
00:29:04Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:29:06It's up to the final two!
00:29:26Oh my god!
00:29:31Crunchy.
00:29:33That is sick, Cole.
00:29:35Hey!
00:29:36When you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:29:41There are two more left.
00:29:43Wanna try one?
00:29:43Oh my god, no!
00:29:45No!
00:29:47Oh my god!
00:29:48Save me!
00:29:48Save you!
00:29:49You're gonna save me!
00:29:53I'm a German phoic doctor.
00:29:55These hands can't get germs on them.
00:29:57They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:30:14Oh, thank god you're here.
00:30:18Are you alright, honey?
00:30:20Angela!
00:30:24Alright, you won the first challenge, so you're a reward.
00:30:27You get to watch over her for the night.
00:30:30Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:30:32I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:30:34You have nothing to worry about.
00:30:41Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:30:44At least my girlfriend gets some.
00:30:46I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:30:50The cockroaches!
00:30:52They're gone!
00:30:52They're gone!
00:30:53There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:30:57I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:31:04I need a drink.
00:31:13Whoa, easy!
00:31:14You're on an empty stomach!
00:31:17Why do you care?
00:31:18Are you trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela?
00:31:23You guys were right.
00:31:25I was blind for marrying that asshole.
00:31:29You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:31:35He never even loved me.
00:31:37And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:31:43Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I
00:31:47was around?
00:31:51You may not be number one on Forbes list, but you know what you're number one in.
00:31:56What?
00:32:01You're number one here.
00:32:07You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:32:11Lies.
00:32:14You all just want something from me.
00:32:23Angela, I know it's hard to trust again, but I assure you, I don't care what family you're from.
00:32:33I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:32:35I don't need your power, your status, your wealth, your connections.
00:32:42I just need you.
00:32:46I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:32:48I promise.
00:33:00Screw the contest.
00:33:02I just want love.
00:33:05Angela!
00:33:06You're drunk.
00:33:08I'm an adult.
00:33:10Can't I go just get what she wants?
00:33:12Okay.
00:33:17But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:33:21Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:33:33This is what you want.
00:34:01Nine inch penis.
00:34:03Morning to you too.
00:34:05You sure you were drunk last night?
00:34:07You wouldn't...
00:34:08A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:34:14Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:34:16But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:34:20Because then they would...
00:34:21Say that you're being unfair?
00:34:24Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:34:26I won the first challenge and according to Ellen, my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:34:33Just don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:34:39Are you sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:34:43It's not.
00:34:47Fine, fine, fine.
00:34:50I won't tell.
00:34:53But only on one condition.
00:34:57I won't tell.
00:34:59But only on one condition.
00:35:02You have to go out on a date with me.
00:35:05Fine.
00:35:09I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:35:13You never noticed me.
00:35:18You should get dressed and get out of here before anyone sees you.
00:35:24It's only 7am.
00:35:25She's still sleeping.
00:35:27I'm not sleeping alone.
00:35:27Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:35:34Morning, gentlemen.
00:35:35Oh, or shall I say Ruffman?
00:35:38Oh, don't mind him.
00:35:40What's up, guys?
00:35:41We're ready for the second challenge.
00:35:44No cockroaches this time.
00:35:46Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:35:48That was my bad, Angela.
00:35:49This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:35:51I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:35:53The second challenge is...
00:35:55The second challenge is...
00:35:58A date.
00:35:59Lane, I should have asked for something else.
00:36:01A date?
00:36:03That's it.
00:36:04What's the catch?
00:36:05No catch.
00:36:06Just who Miss Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:36:09As simple as that.
00:36:10I know what I want to do.
00:36:11Let's start with me first.
00:36:12Okay.
00:36:12Goals up first, then...
00:36:14Me.
00:36:15Save the best for last.
00:36:17Ain't that right, Angela?
00:36:18Then it's decided.
00:36:23Please don't take my BMW away!
00:36:27Too bad.
00:36:28You pissed off the Lockhart's.
00:36:30I have nothing left!
00:36:40It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:36:45It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:36:55You know Eisenhower, sirs?
00:36:58Unease, Lieutenant!
00:36:59This is my Lieutenant.
00:37:00He also manages this boxing job.
00:37:02Blessing me to Madam Eisenhower!
00:37:04He's so serious.
00:37:06But...
00:37:06Hang on.
00:37:08Lieutenant!
00:37:08I don't know who I'm going to marry yet!
00:37:11Baby!
00:37:11I decided to take you here on my first date so that I can introduce you to my guns!
00:37:15Guns?
00:37:16Like...
00:37:16Murder weapons?
00:37:17Yes!
00:37:19Murder weapons!
00:37:21Murder weapons!
00:37:39You're like my guns, babe!
00:37:41Pretty rock hard.
00:37:43Pretty rock hard.
00:37:45Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:37:47Lieutenant!
00:37:48Come close!
00:37:50Wait!
00:37:51You're just gonna hit him like that?
00:37:52He's not even gonna fight back?
00:37:54Fighting back will be treason, ma'am!
00:37:56Treason?
00:37:56You guys are way too serious.
00:37:59Look, you Lockhart bitch!
00:38:01I caught you!
00:38:02If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:38:05Lieutenant!
00:38:06He's your attack!
00:38:16Ah!
00:38:19You dare try to hurt my wife?!
00:38:23I will make you pay!
00:38:27If you don't need to keep beating him up, we could just take him to the cops!
00:38:30Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:38:38He's always a bit violent.
00:38:40Some might call it being protective.
00:38:42Poor anger issues.
00:38:43What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:38:48Is he gonna be, like, rough?
00:38:51Hey, some girls are into that.
00:38:53I don't know if I am.
00:38:56Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:39:01Your date with Shane starts now.
00:39:06Hey.
00:39:08Hey.
00:39:09Cool ride.
00:39:11A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:39:15Impressive.
00:39:18Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:39:21Refreshing.
00:39:23I got cool mint, too.
00:39:25Huh?
00:39:25Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:39:28What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:39:32Fruit flavor gum.
00:39:33I can't stand those.
00:39:34So, where are you taking me tonight?
00:39:36Let me show you.
00:39:37Okay.
00:39:44Dr. Wilson!
00:39:46A VIP of VIPs!
00:39:49Right this way.
00:39:50VIP of VIPs?
00:39:51Ah!
00:39:52Just some other guy I saved.
00:39:53I forget who.
00:39:55You saved a lot of football.
00:39:56I do what I can.
00:39:59Oh my gosh.
00:40:01It's my gold digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:40:05Sandra Miller.
00:40:07What are you doing here?
00:40:08I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:40:11Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:40:12and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:40:18How low of you.
00:40:20What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:40:22Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:40:24I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end
00:40:27you couldn't even afford even if you sold your organs.
00:40:30The auction begins.
00:40:32I'll deal with you later.
00:40:36Here, I'll just be one second.
00:40:42Cameron.
00:40:43I have a task for you.
00:40:47Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:40:51Cleopatra's armband.
00:40:52Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller.
00:40:56For five million dollars.
00:40:59Excuse me.
00:41:01I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:41:03It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:41:06I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:41:09It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:41:11What are you doing?
00:41:12Just watch.
00:41:14Come on.
00:41:19That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:41:22Please.
00:41:23I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:41:25She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:41:28You work at a flea market?
00:41:29Not this again.
00:41:31Cut the bullshit.
00:41:32That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:41:34Oh yeah?
00:41:35Here, you want it?
00:41:36For free.
00:41:37Ew!
00:41:37I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:41:41Well, that's too bad then.
00:41:44Because you are the fraud.
00:41:47What are you talking about?
00:41:48Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:41:50Throw them out!
00:41:52Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine.
00:41:55But we're professionals.
00:41:57Oh yeah?
00:41:58And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:42:02Yeah.
00:42:03Mine is the real thing.
00:42:04You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:42:10What was that so?
00:42:11Would a so-called expert fail to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:42:15Dear Lord.
00:42:17This is real.
00:42:19It's authentic.
00:42:21It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:42:26Cameron, what have you found?
00:42:29Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:42:32It's a replica.
00:42:35They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:42:39So, you are the fraud.
00:42:42You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:42:45And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:42:49One fifty.
00:42:50Wow, not even five dollars.
00:42:53Sandra.
00:42:54You've been deepening us the whole time?
00:42:58Arrest her!
00:42:59No!
00:43:00Please!
00:43:01This is one time!
00:43:02Please!
00:43:04What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:43:06Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan.
00:43:10Bye.
00:43:11Blacklist her from the jewelry industry forever.
00:43:22I had a really great time tonight.
00:43:24Me too.
00:43:26May I have a kiss?
00:43:43Something wrong?
00:43:44Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:43:52Yep.
00:43:53You never have to worry about stinky breath for me.
00:44:06You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:44:09I don't have any money.
00:44:11How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:44:14I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:44:21Stop!
00:44:25Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:44:29Mr. Buffett.
00:44:30Mr. Buffett.
00:44:34This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:44:37That's right.
00:44:38Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:44:40I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:44:43I knew Angelo was still in love with me.
00:44:45No, no, sir.
00:44:46Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:44:48It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:44:52Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:44:55And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:45:00Angela still loves me.
00:45:02She's just throwing a fit.
00:45:03She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:45:05Yeah, do you need any help winning her back?
00:45:07We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:45:10I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:45:13and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:45:16It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:45:19Sure.
00:45:21I'll put in a good word for you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:23I just need...
00:45:24Anything.
00:45:24You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:45:26Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:45:30I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:45:39I've given a contract to Jarrett Cooper, just like you asked me to.
00:45:42Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:45:46Well done, he'll be fucked soon.
00:45:49I don't get it, Ms. Musk.
00:45:50My contract has a preliminary clause.
00:45:52It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:45:56And if he cared, then what?
00:45:58He'll be bankrupt.
00:45:59So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:46:03I'm avenging my best friend.
00:46:05I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:46:15I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:46:18We should celebrate.
00:46:19You did?
00:46:20You see, I know my son hasn't hit him.
00:46:23That skank, Angela, is nothing next to you.
00:46:27And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:46:30Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:46:35What?
00:46:36You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:46:39Oh, no, no, no, no, he's not.
00:46:41Jared, what are you doing?
00:46:43You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:46:47It's my decision, Mom.
00:46:49I'm the head of the house here.
00:46:51I'm telling my dad.
00:46:52Fine, go right ahead.
00:46:54He has enough problems himself.
00:46:55If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:46:58But if not, you can scram.
00:47:02Dad, Jared is being mean to me.
00:47:04Teach him a lesson.
00:47:05Kayleigh, be a good girl, okay?
00:47:08Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:47:11Don't get on his bad side.
00:47:13We can't afford to piss him off.
00:47:15So do as he says.
00:47:17But Dad...
00:47:25I'm sorry.
00:47:27Be your side piece.
00:47:29Very good.
00:47:30I'm happy you've come around.
00:47:31Now let's go celebrate!
00:47:36I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:47:41But that tongue action, though.
00:47:43Tongue is important.
00:47:44In more than just one spot.
00:47:46Ellen, we are in public.
00:47:47It's true.
00:47:49Stomachache.
00:47:51Again?
00:47:51I have to run to the bathroom.
00:47:53Devon should be here to pick you up soon.
00:47:55Okay.
00:47:57Devon's late.
00:47:59Not a good sign for a date.
00:48:02This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:48:07It's her.
00:48:08And she's alone.
00:48:09With no one to save her.
00:48:13You whore.
00:48:14You seduced my son so he could back with you.
00:48:21Let me tell you, I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and
00:48:26begged me.
00:48:30Hey, you guys can fight all you want. You need to take this somewhere else.
00:48:34Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:48:37What? Why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:48:39Because I have money and you don't. You're just a stinky hippie peddler and my son just signed a 100
00:48:47billion dollar contract.
00:48:49He's still got the contract?
00:48:51Hmm. Must be Ellen's doing.
00:48:54Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:48:58Oh, he's just gonna...
00:49:00Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:49:03Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:49:08You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:49:14My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:49:17$1,000 to take her away.
00:49:20$2,000 to drag her away.
00:49:23$5,000 to beat her away.
00:49:28Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Ow! Hey!
00:49:31Stop!
00:49:32Wake up!
00:49:34You okay? Are you hurt?
00:49:41Weekly.
00:49:41You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:49:47And now you have two more? What a whore.
00:49:50What a whore.
00:49:51Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:49:54What if she has an STD?
00:49:57Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:50:01Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
00:50:04Hang on.
00:50:06What do you want?
00:50:07I'll scream!
00:50:09I don't hear a woman.
00:50:10But I never said I don't kill a woman.
00:50:14But I never said I don't kill a woman.
00:50:17Oh, God. He is a murderer. What if he murders me?
00:50:21Not him. Definitely not him.
00:50:28We're not afraid of you.
00:50:30That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
00:50:32You'll be removed from being a five star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
00:50:37I was just messing with them.
00:50:39Was he though?
00:50:40We're not afraid of you.
00:50:43Jared! You have to avenge us.
00:50:45Look at this slut.
00:50:46She's found two more boy toys.
00:50:48She's cheating on you.
00:50:49Don't get back with her.
00:50:50Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
00:50:52I apologize for this scene.
00:50:54I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
00:50:58Who did you say you were going to toss out?
00:51:00Who did you say you were going to toss out?
00:51:02The potty crashes.
00:51:07You have any idea who that is?
00:51:08Please. That's my wife.
00:51:10Please. Save that title for the real skank over there.
00:51:13That's right. Know your place.
00:51:15Shut up.
00:51:16She's cheating on you.
00:51:19Know your place. You're just a side piece. If I still want you, that is.
00:51:23Eric, have you gone mad? This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter. You slap her for this whore?
00:51:30Mom!
00:51:31They really think there's something, huh?
00:51:33Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
00:51:37She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
00:51:40I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
00:51:44What?
00:51:46You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
00:51:56I'm sorry.
00:51:57No. This can't be. I made you divorce.
00:52:06Go home. You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
00:52:15I apologize on behalf of my mother.
00:52:19Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
00:52:22I promise no one will bother you anymore.
00:52:25I didn't come here for you.
00:52:28I'm on a date.
00:52:30A date with two men at the same time?
00:52:34She really is a whore.
00:52:35Angela, please forgive me.
00:52:37I really do love you.
00:52:41Oh-ho! Lady Larkhart is here!
00:52:45Oh-ho! Lady Larkhart is here!
00:52:49Yeah, yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
00:52:53We're too old for that.
00:52:55They're here for my celebration banquet.
00:52:57Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
00:53:02Oh, yes, please, Ms. Larkhart, join us. We'll all be one happy business family again.
00:53:09What the hell are you all doing here?
00:53:11Where were you?
00:53:13Stomach issues.
00:53:14Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
00:53:18No.
00:53:20Let me make myself clear, okay?
00:53:23I would rather die than be with you again.
00:53:27Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
00:53:31I can't lose face in front of these pricks, otherwise they'll cut me off too.
00:53:35Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you.
00:53:39You want a chance?
00:53:41Angela, no. You have three great guys here who all want to marry you. Don't take him back.
00:53:47I'll give you two choices.
00:53:51I'll give you two choices.
00:53:55Me.
00:53:56Or the contract.
00:53:58You're kidding me.
00:53:59No, I'm not kidding you.
00:54:02If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
00:54:06But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
00:54:10The choice is all yours.
00:54:12So that's a tough choice.
00:54:14You think so? He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
00:54:19Either way, benefits.
00:54:21Why can't I have both?
00:54:23You really are a greedy bastard.
00:54:26Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember? I deserve the contract.
00:54:30Did you really?
00:54:35Look who's fashionably late now.
00:54:39He didn't save her at the pool.
00:54:41Wait, what are you talking about?
00:54:43I, uh, I choose the contract.
00:54:46I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
00:54:50With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
00:54:54Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone. I will get you one day.
00:54:59Let me show you something.
00:55:12You saved me.
00:55:19You saved me.
00:55:21I'm sorry if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
00:55:27But I promise you, I'm gonna make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
00:55:32No, no, I wasn't lying. I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
00:55:45Does that mean we both each saved her once?
00:55:49What? Me? Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
00:55:54No way.
00:55:55You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
00:56:00You're crazy.
00:56:01And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
00:56:06What?
00:56:09Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
00:56:12Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
00:56:16To put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
00:56:19I can't believe I didn't realize.
00:56:22Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry. I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
00:56:27No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
00:56:30You'd like me to punish them for-
00:56:32Oh god, no. Not that again. Please.
00:56:35Max.
00:56:37You know what to do.
00:56:51The banks have pulled all of our funds. All business ties have been severed. We're bankrupt!
00:57:01How did you do that? Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
00:57:08I'll tell you who I am.
00:57:12I'll tell you who I am.
00:57:16I am Crypto-Punk number two!
00:57:20What did he say he was?
00:57:21That's more bizarre than Spider-Man!
00:57:24You're Crypto-Punk number two?
00:57:27Well, I'm Crypto-Punk number one.
00:57:29See? You are number one at something.
00:57:31The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
00:57:35Forget Forbes' list.
00:57:37It's all about young money now.
00:57:39So, how about our date?
00:57:47I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
00:57:49I'll spy two.
00:58:03They forgot to cancel my contract.
00:58:06I still have the $100 billion project.
00:58:10Yes! I'm rich!
00:58:13They make them all pay soon!
00:58:21What?
00:58:22Mr. Cooper, sir.
00:58:23The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
00:58:27Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
00:58:32No!
00:58:34I'm bankrupt!
00:58:36I'm just a little lockhart.
00:58:38You tricked me!
00:58:44Oh, allow me.
00:58:48I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
00:58:50I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
00:58:56Well, cheers.
00:58:59Cheers.
00:59:00Cheers.
00:59:08This looks good.
00:59:14Did you use my spices?
00:59:17I know your ex-in-law's never appreciated you.
00:59:22You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love
00:59:26you.
00:59:28I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
00:59:34I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
00:59:35Angela, your future with me, it's gonna be different.
00:59:42Come on.
00:59:45Come on.
00:59:45Go to the stairs.
00:59:47Go to the stairs.
00:59:49Go to the stairs.
01:00:10Go to the stairs.
01:00:10Just because of some silly mistake.
01:00:13Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:00:18Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:00:23That's right.
01:00:24I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:00:26How is all of this possible?
01:00:29I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:00:32Well, actually, maybe Devin, but...
01:00:37I've had a crush on you since college.
01:00:40You're my motivation to go to business school.
01:00:44Despite who you were, you never judge me for being poor.
01:00:50Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:00:58All you do is babble on and on about internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:01:05Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:01:09How did you bless me?
01:01:12Hey!
01:01:14Get away from me!
01:01:14Angela!
01:01:17Feisty girl!
01:01:19I like her!
01:01:30How is he?
01:01:31It's a rare poison.
01:01:33Made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:01:37Can it be cured?
01:01:39I actually think I know that poison.
01:01:41It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:01:45Household salt.
01:01:53I like her.
01:01:56There you go.
01:01:58What time is it up?
01:02:01Oh shoot, I'm late for some practice.
01:02:10I like her.
01:02:12We have been rivals ever since.
01:02:15So, that's how I, well, we, all met.
01:02:20I barely remember.
01:02:22Should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:02:25Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:02:29You wouldn't have known.
01:02:31I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark though.
01:02:33That makes you feel any better.
01:02:34Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:02:37Yeah.
01:02:38Your seven days is almost up.
01:02:40Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years.
01:02:44Who will you pick?
01:02:49How can that be?
01:02:52Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:02:59Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:03:03Bankrupt?
01:03:04The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:03:07Well then, get out of here.
01:03:10You can't do this to me.
01:03:15Jared!
01:03:16Mom, it's me.
01:03:17What happened?
01:03:19Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:03:22Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:03:24You should get back with your wife.
01:03:26We're bankrupt.
01:03:27What?
01:03:32Jared Cooper.
01:03:35We are here to propose your belongings.
01:03:39No one is going to save you now.
01:03:46What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:03:52Who will you pick?
01:03:57I...
01:04:02I brought you fried chicken.
01:04:03Fried chicken?
01:04:04Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:04:07Yeah, he's right.
01:04:08I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:04:10Sucking up last minute.
01:04:11At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:04:14Hey, stop.
01:04:16Stop.
01:04:18Welcome back to The Bachelorette.
01:04:20I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:04:24I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:04:27You know what I mean.
01:04:28Today, our heiress Bachelorette will choose.
01:04:31Which one of our three badasses will she marry?
01:04:36Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:04:39Cole, the general?
01:04:43Or Devin, the CEO?
01:04:49Uh, looks like our Bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:04:53Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:04:56But when she does, she will take this eternal rose made from glass imported from Venice and give it to
01:05:03our winner.
01:05:05Angela?
01:05:09Oh, I, uh, I need more time to think.
01:05:18Uh, while our Bachelorette takes a little time to decide, why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:05:24Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:05:28Let's start with Cole.
01:05:29Cole.
01:05:34There's not much to say.
01:05:36Who wouldn't want a five-star general who has huge biceps and massive chest?
01:05:42Who would protect their life?
01:05:47Okay, thank you.
01:05:49Uh, Shane?
01:05:53Muscles.
01:05:53Money.
01:05:55They only get you so far.
01:05:57But you need a well-balanced man like me.
01:05:59That has more than one way to keep a lady happy.
01:06:01If you know what I mean.
01:06:06Okay, I think we do.
01:06:08And Devin?
01:06:10That was quite disgusting.
01:06:15I just hope Angela's okay.
01:06:17I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:06:19A lot of choices to make.
01:06:22And she's my queen.
01:06:24I just really hope she's okay.
01:06:26And then one more thing.
01:06:27What kind of a doctor brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:06:32That's a good point.
01:06:34It's bad for her heart.
01:06:36And then you!
01:06:38You know what they say about military men.
01:06:42They beat their wives.
01:06:47Enough!
01:06:50Stand up!
01:06:52Hey, you guys.
01:06:55Whoa, break it up!
01:06:57Hey!
01:06:58Break it up!
01:06:59Ugh!
01:07:01Ugh!
01:07:03Cut to commercial!
01:07:05Cut to commercial!
01:07:24This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:07:29Who do I choose?
01:07:38Angela's marrying me!
01:07:39You're not stealing her from me.
01:07:40Oh yeah?
01:07:42I may be a doctor, but like I said, I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:07:50What don't you have in that code?
01:07:52Fruit, flavor, and gum!
01:07:54I won't let you take Angela away from me!
01:07:56I'll fight you to the death!
01:07:58Don't forget about me.
01:08:00It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:08:05These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:08:08They do not help.
01:08:10Who made these?
01:08:29It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:08:34I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:08:37And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:08:56We may have to work together to take him down.
01:09:09This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:09:13I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:09:18Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:09:24You know, I've always really liked your hair.
01:09:27Really?
01:09:29I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:09:32So I appreciate that.
01:09:35Hey, hey, hey.
01:09:36And you know, Cool.
01:09:38I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:09:41Really?
01:09:42Yeah.
01:09:45What do you got for me?
01:09:47I always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:09:51Yeah? It's fresh, right?
01:09:53Yeah.
01:09:54You know, you're actually a really good doctor.
01:09:59I'll check you out.
01:10:00You need me to look at you?
01:10:01I got you closer.
01:10:02I'll take care of you.
01:10:04Angela's been kidnapped!
01:10:06Angela's been kidnapped!
01:10:08It was Sharon Cooper!
01:10:10That fucker!
01:10:11We have to find her.
01:10:13What the hell?
01:10:13Her ring.
01:10:14Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:10:18Well, let's go then!
01:10:20My fiancé!
01:10:21My fiancé!
01:10:28Jared.
01:10:32What am I doing here?
01:10:34You destroyed me.
01:10:38They took everything.
01:10:41What?
01:10:41I have nothing left.
01:10:43It's not my fault.
01:10:45You're too greedy.
01:10:47Is it greedy?
01:10:48To have sex with my wife?
01:10:50What?
01:10:51I'm not your wife anymore!
01:10:53Oh yeah, I know.
01:10:54You wouldn't take me back now.
01:10:55Not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:10:57This is illegal!
01:10:58You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:11:01You won't have me arrested.
01:11:03You will take me back.
01:11:06Ow!
01:11:07My bitch!
01:11:10I'll set you down a little.
01:11:20You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:11:25Hey!
01:11:27Angela!
01:11:28Come back!
01:11:31You're too late!
01:11:33I drugged her.
01:11:34She'll be dead soon unless...
01:11:35Yeah?
01:11:36Have you forgotten who I am?
01:11:38He really does have everything in us, Coach.
01:11:40Everything except for fruit.
01:11:42Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:11:43We get it already!
01:11:44Just save my boss!
01:11:47Here you go.
01:11:53You're all good now.
01:11:55Oh, thank God.
01:11:57But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:11:59What?
01:12:00What are you gonna do to me?
01:12:01Hey, stop!
01:12:02No!
01:12:05Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:12:10Help!
01:12:13Why'd we didn't actually have that fight?
01:12:15Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:12:23So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:12:25We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:12:28The Prince of Bhutan.
01:12:30And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:12:38Welcome back to the finale of The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:12:43We're down to the wire.
01:12:44Literally, the wedding day.
01:12:46But who's the groom?
01:13:04Uh, seems our era still hasn't decided.
01:13:13Any input from the parents?
01:13:15Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:13:18Oh, this is exciting.
01:13:20Who should my daughter pick?
01:13:23Let me think.
01:13:27I like the doctor.
01:13:29He's cute.
01:13:32But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:13:36And we can't forget about Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:13:40Isn't that right, Devon?
01:13:42Angela.
01:13:48You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:13:54And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:13:58But this was a really hard decision.
01:14:02And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:14:08And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:14:15I'm just kidding. I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:14:22Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:14:26I mean bachelorette once.
01:14:28They've all proven their undying love.
01:14:31So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:14:35Literally.
01:14:37Could it be the sexy and protective, general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:14:49Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird, Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:14:58And last but not least, could it be the richest man of them all?
01:15:03The man Angela would have married a long time ago, Mr. Devon Sterling.
01:15:10Gentlemen.
01:15:12It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:15:15May the best man win.
01:15:18May the best man win.
01:15:20Drumroll please.
01:15:24Gotta make you understand.
01:15:27Never gonna give you up.
01:15:29Never gonna let you down.
01:15:31Never gonna run around and desert you.
01:15:35Seriously Ricky?
01:15:44I choose...
01:15:54I need a powerful, strong man
01:15:56And I really feel like you can protect me
01:16:01Who could resist those guns?
01:16:05They interest you in an NFD, Ellen?
01:16:07You like a full body choco?
01:16:22Shane, it's you. I'm lovesick for you
01:16:26You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:16:28Yeah
01:16:31It's that tongue action, ladies and gents
01:16:34Ellen, be my new queen
01:16:35Think of what we can build together
01:16:37Like guns, babe?
01:16:50It's always been you
01:17:00I'll always love you
01:17:04Let's give it up for those 9 inches, everybody
01:17:08Would you like a full body choco?
01:17:09Have you seen my murderer weapons?
01:17:11I need fruit flavored gum for you
01:17:36Oh, there's nothing to do
01:17:39You like anything better
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