- 13 hours ago
Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man who fell into a stranger's pool in Port Charlotte, Florida. This might be one of the wildest news reports they've ever seen!
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00:00Chuck, I found a new treat. It is buttery, vanilla, and sweet, no sugar, and a boost of caffeine.
00:05That sounds amazing.
00:06It is. Here, confetti craze from 5-Hour Energy.
00:09Oh, wow. Sweet.
00:11So where's this cake you're talking about?
00:13Idiot, that is the cake!
00:23Well, from Donuts, it's two guys who fall into other people's pools.
00:29This guy was wasted, apparently, in Florida, in Charlotte County, when he fell into a stranger's pool.
00:35He forgot where he lived.
00:36Oh, that happens, yeah.
00:38And took a wrong turn.
00:40And this guy off the top, he wants nothing to do with it.
00:43That story from one of our favorites at Gulf Coast News.
00:48I was shoving my boot so far up his ass he'd been tasting leather.
00:53You are going to love this story.
00:55A drunk man has refused to breaking into a cowboy hat.
00:58My boot so far up his ass he'd be tasting leather, is what he said.
01:03Someone's lanai in Port Charlotte, then falling into their pool.
01:06Thanks for watching, Gulf Coast News at 11.
01:09I'm Peter Bush.
01:10And I'm Christy Soto.
01:11Deputies say this man told them he was so drunk he got lost.
01:15Now, this is the distance from where the victim lives to where the suspect lives.
01:20They're about a mile away.
01:21Gulf Coast News reporter Madison Adams shares what the man told the family after getting out of the water.
01:29Charlotte County deputies say Christopher Zabricki claimed to be a CIA agent.
01:34How did he know he wasn't?
01:35Deputies say he drank so much vodka Thursday afternoon he told them he forgot where he lived.
01:42Oh yeah, I've been there.
01:44Instead of going home to Winsome Avenue, he ended up on Monet Avenue a mile from his house.
02:05And the couple that lives in this house told me a stranger knocked on their door asking to stay for
02:10a few days.
02:11They told him, go bother someone else.
02:14Instead of leaving, Zabricki made his way inside their lanai.
02:18Oh yeah.
02:18I was, I'd have shoved my boot so far up his ass he'd been tasting leather for a week.
02:22Of course, he's got a course.
02:23He's going to call 911.
02:24What is she doing?
02:24Oh my God, Jesus!
02:25Oh my God!
02:26Hold on, hold on, hold on.
02:29What the hell?
02:30So yeah, she's interviewing a guy who's drinking a Coors Light as he's talking to her.
02:34And she's jumping on an inflatable unicorn pool float in a dress to do her news report.
02:43And her pearls.
02:44And her pearls.
02:45You didn't take her pearls off.
02:46Take your pearls off before going swimming, girl.
02:48Oh my God.
02:50This story.
02:51This story's the best.
02:52You've got to check it out at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.
02:55Rusty Simplex has to say.
02:57Barbed his ass and didn't taste some leather for a week.
03:00They called 911 and moments later they heard a splash.
03:04Oh my God.
03:04The stranger fell through their pool cover into the pool.
03:07She just soaked her crotch area.
03:08She looks incredible.
03:09Then it climbed out of the pool and knocked on the door.
03:12This time asking for french fries in a towel.
03:15French fries in a towel.
03:17They showed her feet.
03:18Yeah, she did.
03:20They never show your feet for free.
03:22Never show your feet for free.
03:24Never.
03:24She wanted it.
03:25She was ready for it.
03:27Not great looking.
03:28No, they ain't.
03:29I ain't paying for them.
03:31They're not Dave's.
03:32Exactly.
03:33Thank you, Court.
03:35First of all, the story, even to take it, like, this is what I'm going to go report on.
03:39A drunk guy fell into a pool.
03:41We're going to go.
03:42We got to do a report.
03:44Yes.
03:45So then I put a swim dress on that I'm allowed to get wet, obviously, because she soaked herself.
03:51Get on a unicorn.
03:54Blow it up.
03:55Yeah.
03:56And then order some fries, because they are needed for the story as well.
04:00Yes.
04:01Yes.
04:01Handed fries.
04:02Gave her fries.
04:03Yes.
04:04Let me see.
04:04I missed this too much.
04:06It's too much.
04:06Let's go back through the whole recreation here.
04:08Here we go.
04:09One, and moments later, they heard a splash.
04:12Soaked.
04:12The stranger fell through their pool cover into the pool, then climbed out of the pool and
04:18knocked on the door.
04:20Here we go.
04:20This time asking for french fries and a towel.
04:24The fries.
04:24Oh, they missed the french fries right now.
04:27I know.
04:27It was a lot going on.
04:29There was a lot going on, Lise.
04:32There was a lot going on.
04:34This is great.
04:34It is crazy.
04:35This story.
04:36Back to it here with Coors Lightman.
04:39Yep.
04:40No, no, no.
04:41Thank God.
04:42You don't want to be seeing them peckers there in your backyard.
04:46What?
04:48What?
04:49I swear to God.
04:50He asked, was he nude?
04:52And then she said, no.
04:54And he said, thank God.
04:55You don't want to be seeing them peckers there in your backyard.
04:59No peckers here.
05:00Why do I feel like they go on a date every time after this?
05:04I know.
05:04She dates every time.
05:06You want to go out?
05:07Oh, my God.
05:08This is so funny.
05:08She only talks to the guys that she thinks is okay.
05:12Oh, that's so funny.
05:13Time asking for french fries and a towel.
05:16Was he naked?
05:17That was him handing her the fries.
05:18Yes, thank God.
05:19You don't want to be seeing them peckers there in your backyard.
05:23Deputies found Zabricki sitting on a chair by the pool.
05:27They say he told them he held his breath underwater for three minutes.
05:31Damn, that's a long time.
05:33Pretty good.
05:34Taking him to the Charlotte County Jail for trespassing, disorderly intoxication,
05:38and resisting arrest.
05:40Oh, yeah.
05:41I've been to Shark Porlet one time before in their jail system there.
05:44They're all right.
05:45I know he's reviewing the jail system.
05:48He called it, by the way, Shark Porlet.
05:51It is Port Charlotte.
05:52He's here.
05:53No, come on.
05:53He's wasted.
05:54Yeah.
05:55And resisting arrest.
05:56Oh, yeah.
05:57I've been to Shark Porlet one time before in their jail system there.
05:59You can't.
05:59Like, sharks.
06:00They're all right.
06:01They treat you kind of nice, but, you know, sleep it off.
06:04Reporting in Port Charlotte, Madison Adams.
06:06She's totally dating him right now.
06:07She is totally out with him.
06:08So was it his pool?
06:09No.
06:10So she just picked a guy and said, can you help me?
06:15Because I have to recreate this.
06:17He handed her the fries.
06:18It was the same shirt.
06:20He might be the delivery guy.
06:22What?
06:26That's the best story I've ever seen.
06:27Oh, my God.
06:28It is some of the craziest.
06:29All of the elements add up to crazy, and you have to check it out at DaveAndChuckTheFreak.com.
06:34The recreation is amazing.
06:37We've got to watch it one more time.
06:39They called 911, and moments later, they heard a splash.
06:43The stranger fell through their pool cover into the pool, then climbed out of the pool and
06:49knocked on the door, this time asking for french fries and a towel.
06:54Was he naked?
06:56No, no, no.
06:57Thank God.
06:58You don't want to be seeing them peckers there in your backyard.
07:03I mean, it's unbelievable.
07:05He clearly gave a fake name, too, right?
07:07Rusty Simplex.
07:08Did you look him up?
07:09There's no.
07:10I Googled it, and the only thing that comes up is, Rusty Simplex is a guy in an article,
07:13like a news story out of Port Charlotte.
07:16You mean Shart Porlet?
07:18Shart Porlet.
07:19Oh, my God.
07:21Unbelievable.
07:22I really think that she's smitten with the man in the cowboy hat.
07:27That's so funny.
07:29Rusty Simplex.
07:34You don't want them peckers there in your backyard.
07:37Peckers?
07:37I'm Rusty Simplex.
07:38Honestly.
07:38Can you guys just refer to them as peckers from now on?
07:40I will.
07:42Peckers.
07:43When you call in, say peckers.
07:45Shields changed it up.
07:46Peckers, Lise.
07:47Peckers to you.
07:49Yep.
07:50Wow.
07:51We totally change it up.
07:53Rusty Simplex.
07:54We used to say penis all the time.
07:55Now we just say peckers.
07:56Peckers.
07:57Peckers.
07:58It means high.
07:58That's the best.
08:01She's crazy.
08:02I literally hope if I was in every other newsroom across America, I would cue this thing up
08:12and make all of my...
08:13I'd be like, are you doing this well?
08:15Are you going far enough?
08:18You think this is the new standard?
08:20This is the new standard.
08:21We don't get her on the show.
08:22We have to talk to her.
08:24We've said some stuff.
08:25She hates us probably.
08:27I know.
08:28She's hilarious.
08:29I know.
08:30She is.
08:30It's unbelievable.
08:30I just want to know about Rusty.
08:32Does she know Rusty?
08:33How did she find him?
08:34She knows him now.
08:37There was at least one pecker in that backyard.
08:39They ordered fries together.
08:41You got to wait.
08:42Yeah, come on.
08:42Her Facebook says she's single.
08:44Uh-huh.
08:46She'll soon be known as Miss Simplex.
08:49I don't know.
08:49I think it's like dust in the wind, you know?
08:53Yeah, Rusty ain't sticking around.
08:54How does this become a story that a guy fell in a pool?
08:56But thank God it did!
08:57I know.
08:58I know.
08:58It's hilarious.
08:59And the other thing is, I guess you've got to, like, all we have is a guy fell in a
09:03pool
09:04and you've got to make it as big as you can make it.
09:07And that is what they do.
09:09She has made it as big as you can make it.
09:11And it's big.
09:12I think that was their top story, wasn't it?
09:14They led.
09:15Was it their top story?
09:16That was the top story.
09:17Listen, they led the whole.
09:18Yeah, look at 11.
09:20I'd have shoved my boot so far up his ****.
09:22He'd have been tasting leather.
09:25You are going to love this story.
09:27A drunk.
09:27Yes, that's their top story.
09:2811-01.
09:29Top story?
09:29It's 11-01.
09:30A guy fell in a pool.
09:32Detroit.
09:33What are we doing here?
09:34This is what I'm saying.
09:35Let's get some better stories.
09:36This is what I'm saying.
09:37We got a bunch of man killed at carjacking.
09:39We have terrible stories.
09:41Doctor murdered by gay hookers.
09:42Exactly.
09:43Can't we get some?
09:44Like chicks in pools and just a bunch of splish splashing going on.
09:50Lead story.
09:52We got too much real stuff happening.
09:53Oh my God.
09:55Yeah, life's different, I guess.
09:57Yeah.
09:58Sharp, poor.
09:58Rusty.
09:59We need more rusty simplexes.
10:00We need information on Rusty.
10:02How does she find, though?
10:03She finds every time she finds a weird guy.
10:06Yeah.
10:07You know?
10:08Because they see a chick in a pearl necklace and a dress, approach them, and they're like,
10:12yeah, I'll talk to her.
10:13Yeah, I'll talk to her.
10:13I'll make her run at her.
10:14He had a Coors Light in his hand.
10:17He did the news interview drinking a Coors Light.
10:20He did.
10:21That's a first two.
10:22Oh my God.
10:24Rusty.
10:25Man of your dreams right there.
10:26Oh my God.
10:28Oh, them footsies.
10:30Well, they showed the foot too, right?
10:32As it's like gripping out of the screen.
10:34Yeah, she's gripping.
10:35Yeah.
10:35So it's the worst possible time to see a foot.
10:37Yeah.
10:37Yeah.
10:38Gripping action.
10:38You don't want to see him grip.
10:39No.
10:40You want him relaxed.
10:42She skips to the door to get to his eyes.
10:44Her hair is soaked.
10:46Yeah.
10:47Well, she splashed herself.
10:48Oh, I know.
10:49Owl.
10:49Was he naked?
10:50No, no.
10:51She's giggling.
10:52Thank God.
10:53You don't want to be seeing them peckers there in your backyard.
10:57He looks like Maynard James Keenan a little bit.
11:01Like a T-moo version of the lead singer of Tool.
11:04Yeah.
11:04Very T-moo.
11:05More sheen version.
11:08The Arizona version of him.
11:10Mm-mm.
11:11Anyway, again, check it out at davinchokthefreak.com.
11:14It is news theater like you've never seen before.
11:17Really good.
11:17I did not expect to ever see that on the news.
11:21You know what?
11:22I mean, I guess we did watch the guy who got it right in the hot tub.
11:25That was pretty wacky.
11:27Yeah, but that wasn't as crazy as this.
11:28This is taking it to the next level.
11:31Yeah.
11:32You know they bought that unicorn and they blew it up.
11:35Or it's Rusty's.
11:36He seems wacky.
11:37That's true.
11:38You think that's Rusty's place?
11:39I don't know.
11:39You don't think so?
11:40I don't know.
11:41Well, it's not the neighbor's pool, right?
11:44No.
11:44No.
11:45She just found someone with a pool.
11:46This is Rusty's.
11:47This might be Rusty's place.
11:48This could be Rusty's.
11:49Rusty's got it together enough to.
11:50Listen, it might just be whoever I meet on Tinder that night.
11:54Mind if I film a news story?
11:55You know what I mean?
11:56Got a pool?
11:58Yeah, I got a pool.
12:00Come on down to Shark Portland.
12:04Reviewing jails.
12:05Oh, my God.
12:06Yep, he's been there before.
12:08Rusty's got a past.
12:10Like, honestly, that's one of the funniest things.
12:12And if Rusty is putting it on, if Rusty's putting that on, then Rusty is amazing.
12:19Absolutely.
12:19You know?
12:20It's not his name, right?
12:21It's just like Rusty Simplex, a resident.
12:23That's not his real name.
12:25There's no way.
12:26Rusty, maybe.
12:27He's Rusty, probably, but not Simplex.
12:29But not Simplex.
12:30I love, I love it.
12:31I hope to God we find him.
12:34He doesn't deserve.
12:35If anyone knows Rusty Simplex, who was on the news last night.
12:37I'll tell you this right now.
12:38Get him to reach out.
12:39I'd watch a whole show on Discovery Channel that Rusty stars in.
12:44Can't we message Madison and ask?
12:46I don't know.
12:47We can.
12:48We can send her a.
12:48Sure.
12:49We can.
12:50What's the deal with Rusty?
12:52How long have you guys been together?
12:54No, we can't say that.
12:56She'll never respond.
12:59Oh, man.
13:00We're getting to the bottom of it.
13:03Oh.
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