00:00Chuck, I found a new treat. It is buttery, vanilla, and sweet, no sugar, and a boost of caffeine.
00:05That sounds amazing.
00:06It is. Here, confetti craze from 5-Hour Energy.
00:09Oh, wow. Sweet.
00:11So where's this cake you're talking about?
00:13Idiot, that is the cake!
00:21Okay, everyone has been obsessed with Punch the Monkey.
00:28Yes, I've...
00:29Of course, yeah. As we should be. As we should be.
00:33If you haven't been caught up in this whole monkey drama, here's the story, just to catch everybody up.
00:41The internet is losing its mind over a tiny baby monkey named Punch.
00:46The Japanese macaque was born in July 2025, but was abandoned by his mother and had to be hand-reared
00:54by staff at the Ichikawa City Zoo.
00:56To ease the little one's loneliness, the zoo staff gave Punch a small orangutan plushie.
01:03Images of the baby monkey with his plushie toy have warmed the hearts of social media users,
01:09but it hasn't completely translated to any sort of popularity amongst his monkey playmates.
01:14They hate him, really.
01:15His failed attempts to find a surrogate monkey family and make some friends has been documented online with the hashtag,
01:22hang in there, Punch.
01:24Oh, this guy. I literally would beat that thing right to death.
01:28I'll beat it right to death.
01:31It's hand-to-hand combat.
01:32Relax.
01:33Come on.
01:42Thankfully, on February 6th, 2026, the workers at the zoo posted to social media saying,
01:49Punch is gradually deepening his interactions with the troop of monkeys.
01:53He's getting groomed, playfully poking at others, getting scolded and having all sorts of experiences every day,
02:01steadily learning how to live as a monkey within his troop.
02:05With some acceptance from his own kind, he is gradually finding a way to move on from his plushie friend.
02:12I also saw that he did get a big monkey hug.
02:15He got a big monkey.
02:16I've been watching it almost nonstop.
02:20It's a 24-hour stream of just pain is really what it is.
02:24Let me turn that off, I'm sure.
02:26Oh, my God.
02:27Yep.
02:27Stella just checking in on the Punch.
02:29She loves Punch, just so you know.
02:33Yeah.
02:33No.
02:34And I'm ready.
02:35Like, let's go over there.
02:37And why aren't they protecting Punch a bit better, I guess?
02:40Well, I thought he's now been executive.
02:43It's not all fun and games right now.
02:45Well, it never is, though.
02:47No.
02:47Monkeys always act like that.
02:49One guy spun him around like a WWE move, and I'll kill that monkey.
02:53I really will.
02:54I can't.
02:55He's little.
02:56He's not accepted.
02:59I've texted someone to allow Court back into the building because I had to talk to him for a second.
03:03Okay.
03:04All right.
03:05Court, you went out of your way to buy one of these stupid plush monkeys.
03:09Not the stupid one, the cute one.
03:11Yes.
03:11I saw that.
03:13Yeah.
03:13So they're sold at Ikea.
03:14Yes.
03:15And there was something online saying they all sold out immediately when this story went viral.
03:20But you got your hands on one.
03:22Like, you bought one.
03:23Like, a guy had one in his coat outside, and you paid a double for it.
03:26My boyfriend had one, yeah.
03:28Oh, nice.
03:30Nice.
03:30No, Ikea had a...
03:32Like, I was reading exactly that, that they sold out.
03:35And I was like, oh, that's a bummer.
03:36Let's go see.
03:36And it's like, yes, in stock at your local Ikea.
03:40Order.
03:41And I went and picked it up.
03:43Yeah, that's awesome.
03:44You went just to get...
03:45And what are you doing with it?
03:46Do you...
03:47He's kind of like Punch the Monkey here.
03:49You know what I mean?
03:49Are you hugging it right now?
03:50I'm using it as an emotional support monkey.
03:53Dave is that mean monkey that spins and punches around.
03:56Oh, come on.
03:56He is.
03:57Where do you think I was when I got ejected?
03:58I ran right to my monkey.
04:00Exactly.
04:00That's why I went and bought it.
04:02Yep.
04:02This all makes sense.
04:03He basically is our Punch the Monkey.
04:06I bought it, and I was like, you know what?
04:07I've groomed him a couple times.
04:08I'm like, I give him a hug every once in a while.
04:11I give him a hug.
04:12Farley's not getting this.
04:13You know?
04:13No way.
04:15And thank God he got that plush monkey, because he used to run in here and hug me.
04:17Yeah.
04:18After Dave spun him around.
04:21Dave's always spinning him around and poking him and throwing him down.
04:26Courts are Punch.
04:27Throwing me through the piss on the floor.
04:29It's not great.
04:30Look, there's Dave right there.
04:32There's Dave's face.
04:33Well, because he said something that bothered me.
04:35There's Dave's face.
04:36Oh, look at that, Dave.
04:38Look at that.
04:39There's Dave with...
04:40Poor Punch.
04:41There goes Court.
04:42Poor Court.
04:43Run, Court.
04:44Run.
04:45I like how we changed the context.
04:47That the little guy's Court and the big guy's Dave.
04:49And Dave all of a sudden was like, I see it.
04:51I understand.
04:53Maybe this stupid monkey's annoying.
04:55Yep.
04:55He's in his court cave with his little monkey.
04:57It makes sense.
04:58I really related to this monkey.
05:00Oh, yeah.
05:02How much is this monkey going for?
05:03Ikea's pretty cheap.
05:04It mustn't be too much.
05:0520 bucks.
05:0520 bucks.
05:0620 bucks isn't bad.
05:07I guess, to me, I didn't do any deep dive into where the plushie was from, you know, like
05:14Court did.
05:14Well, they went viral because then they donated a bunch to the zoo.
05:19Oh, that's nice.
05:20That's nice.
05:21I had to pay for mine.
05:22Yeah.
05:22Yeah.
05:23Well, I'm not going to donate it to you.
05:24Well, he's not living in the zoo yet.
05:26Yet.
05:27But, you know.
05:28Sure.
05:29So he does have to buy it.
05:30Well, I mean, kind of.
05:31It was.
05:31He had a hole in the wall.
05:33Oh, yeah.
05:33That's right.
05:34This is pretty much outcaged.
05:35You are living.
05:36You are punching the monkey.
05:38He is caged.
05:39You're right.
05:41It's so, the similarities are so.
05:43I now understand why Court bought it and why he has it.
05:48And he has given it hugs and carries it around.
05:50Shunned by his radio family.
05:52Yes.
05:52I've been going through it.
05:54I bet.
05:55I know it's been tough.
05:56I bet.
05:57So you hug your monkey.
05:58Yep.
05:59My goodness.
06:00At least your monkey loves you.
06:01You can always do that, right?
06:03He's always there for me.
06:04He is.
06:05Did they look at you weird as a grown man buying a monkey?
06:09No.
06:09The person who brought it out to me, I'm pretty sure, also has one.
06:14Oh, yeah.
06:15Okay.
06:15I see.
06:16A fellow.
06:16I understand.
06:17Yeah.
06:18Yeah.
06:18Outcast.
06:19I was going to say, what word is this?
06:21Yeah.
06:21I'm going to use it.
06:22A fellow outcast.
06:23Give me a wink.
06:25It'll be okay.
06:26Did you get, while you were there with your monkey, did you get one of their new, what was
06:30it like two foot long?
06:31Oh, yeah.
06:31Hot dogs.
06:32You know, I thought about going in for the food court, but I put it on pickup, so I just
06:37didn't even go inside.
06:38That was your smartest move to not go in there.
06:41Because a man with a monkey eating a two foot winger.
06:44Wow.
06:45And trying to feed the monkey.
06:47Yeah.
06:47Take a bite.
06:48That is a sad day at Ikea.
06:52I feel like it was the cafeteria in there was actually full of exactly that.
06:58I was taking pictures with it in the parking lot, and I'm sure somebody saw me taking a
07:02hundred photos of this monkey.
07:05Yeah.
07:05It is funny to witness someone else doing stuff for social media, you know, because we look
07:13asinine when we're doing it.
07:15Like, as you imagine, court was, like, probably took, like, ten different shots to get the
07:19perfect, like, oh, yeah, the monkey looks perfect.
07:22I look great.
07:23You know.
07:24Had to take it again because there was, like, you could see a beverage in my cup holder.
07:28Exactly.
07:29All that stuff.
07:30It's just interesting to watch people.
07:32Is this guy in the car over buckling the monkey in?
07:37Yep.
07:38Yes, he was, apparently, according to his social media.
07:41Poor punch and poor court.
07:43Poor punch and court.
07:45I really relate to this monkey.
07:48Every once in a while, I just pop my head in there.
07:50I'm like, hey, punch, how you doing, bud?
07:53How are you in there?
07:54We know Dave was real rough on you that last time.
07:57Yeah, listen, you can't worry too much about how Dave spins you.
08:01Three ejections is nuts, dude.
08:02Oh, yeah.
08:04Open the door and pee on him and then leave.
08:06Oh, wow.
08:06That's what I do.
08:07Yeah, if you throw your poop at him, that's it.
08:10That's it.
08:10That's next.
08:11Get out of here, punch!
08:13That's it.
08:14It is.
08:15Look at that cute little face, though.
08:16You know why the internet fell in love with him?
08:18Yes.
08:19That's adorable.
08:20Yeah, he'll be, you know, running around jerking off in front of everybody in no time.
08:24Yeah, for sure.
08:25In no time.
08:26Me or the monkey.
08:28Let's hope the monkey.
08:29Let's hope the monkey.
08:31Let's hope the monkey.
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