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00:00:16Hello there, everybody. You're all very welcome to the show, and I hope you enjoy what happens
00:00:20here over the next hour or so. To find out who our first guest is, let me hand you over
00:00:24to our MC for the evening, the beautiful Fred Cook. Thank you, Tommy. Well, our first guest
00:00:30is Louise James. Hello. Welcome. Sit down there. Thank you. I don't know you. No. Where are
00:00:48you from? I'm from Derry. Derry. Yes. And what's your line of work like or what do you do? Well,
00:00:54I'm a mum. I'm a Zoom. Yeah. So in 2016, I lost my family in the Bon Canipier tragedy. So
00:01:06I lost my two sons, Mark and Evan, my mum, my sister and my partner, and my baby daughter
00:01:16at the time. She was four months. She was the sole survivor. Can you remind me of what
00:01:22happened there, please? So I had been away for the weekend with friends. We were on a
00:01:30home weekend. And my mum had the boys and my daughter and my partner, Sean had taken them
00:01:39out for dinner on the Sunday. And on the way home, they went to the pier to watch the sunset.
00:01:47And the car slid and the car slid in the algae on the pier. And the car went under the
00:01:54water.
00:01:59How come your baby daughter survived? A fella swam in and her dad handed her out. And he swam
00:02:10back to shore with her. What year was it, did you say? 2016. So it's 10 years. It'll be
00:02:1710 years now in March. The 20th of March. Yeah. Who told you? I knew. I had a feeling that
00:02:27something was wrong. But my brother was the one day, break it to me. I had a gut feeling.
00:02:45That you, would you have had those gut feelings before? Yeah. About things and nothing had happened?
00:02:53Yeah. But I had been, I got up on the Sunday. And I had phoned Sean. And I'd say to
00:03:00him,
00:03:00you know, I just want to come home. You know, I didn't leave the boys much. You know, they
00:03:05were mine. You know, I just had Raina. Raina was four months old. And, and I phoned him
00:03:10and he said, you know, enjoy, enjoy being away. You know, you're coming home tonight. You'll
00:03:17be fine. You know, the boys will see you when you're home. And so that was fine. Later
00:03:23on that evening, I had phoned Jodie to tell her that my flight had been delayed for an hour.
00:03:30And I said, where are you? And she goes, we're in the park playing. They had just gone for
00:03:33dinner. And I chatted to the boys. And Evan said, I just can't wait to get you home. I just
00:03:39want to give you a hug. He loved, he loved his hugs. He loved giving hugs. The two of them
00:03:44did. And Jodie started laughing and she says, I'm just laughing at these things, telling
00:03:48me how much they love you and can't wait for you to come home. And I hung up the phone.
00:03:54I told her to look after them. I was all like, look after him in the park. Evan had, he
00:03:59was
00:03:59the youngest boy and he had Duchenne muscular dystrophy. So she was all, he's fine. And I
00:04:05was like, Mark, watch your brother. And he was all, mommy, you worry too much. You know,
00:04:09he's fine. Leave him alone. He's having fun.
00:04:11Can you, can you just go through the, the people again, because I'm a bit overwhelmed.
00:04:16Yes.
00:04:17So who, because I'm getting mixed up with the kids.
00:04:21Yes. So Mark is my oldest son.
00:04:23Yeah.
00:04:23And Evan is my youngest son.
00:04:25Okay.
00:04:25And Jodie is my sister.
00:04:27Okay.
00:04:28So the three of them were playing in the park. And I was talking to Jodie. So she was 14,
00:04:34Mark was 12 and Evan was eight. And my mum and Sean were in the car with Raina.
00:04:42Yeah. And so I was chatting to her on the phone and then I hung up and I'm going to
00:04:47say it was
00:04:47about 15, maybe 20 minutes later. I literally felt like somebody had ripped my heart out of my chest.
00:04:58That's the only way to describe it.
00:05:00Yeah.
00:05:01And that happened when?
00:05:02At the airport. Hmm. So I immediately like rang her back and there was nothing, you know, no connection.
00:05:15And I started to panic. And I was like, I know there's something wrong.
00:05:20So this, this feeling of that, your heart.
00:05:23Yeah.
00:05:23Was ripped out of my chest.
00:05:26And there's nothing around you?
00:05:28No.
00:05:29Just something.
00:05:31Hmm.
00:05:32So I phoned, I phoned my brother and he had asked me, was I on social media? And I said,
00:05:39no, cause I had taken, I had taken all my, I took everything off my phone because my battery
00:05:45was low. So you turn everything off to save your battery. And I said, I said, no, no. And
00:05:53he said, there's been an accident in Boncranagh. And I, I said, it's them. I, you know, I have
00:05:59a feeling I, I just know. And he said, no, it's, it's a car with, with two men. And I
00:06:05said,
00:06:05and I'm very like, I need to see. So I was like, well, what color is the car? He says,
00:06:10I don't know. It's just, it's just come up. And I went, just tell me the color of the car
00:06:14and you know, I'll be okay, but I need to know the color of the car. And he went, well,
00:06:18you used to drive a Jeep. No, it's a car that's gone on. So it's gone off the pier.
00:06:24And I says, look, turn, don't go on anything and turn your phone off. And I says, right.
00:06:30Okay. So he hung up. I turned my phone off and I got on that plane. And as the plane
00:06:38was
00:06:38coming on the land, I had looked across and a girl had turned on her phone and it just came
00:06:47up, black SUV has gone onto the pier at Boncana pier. And I, I don't, I just remember running
00:06:59off that plane. And as I was running, I switched my phone back on. And that's when my brother
00:07:06phoned me to tell me.
00:07:09What did he say?
00:07:11He, he said, are you listening to me? And I said, I know. And he says, I know. I said,
00:07:19are they all gone? And he said, Brina's at the hospital. And he says, I don't know what
00:07:29stitches in. He said, but she's at the hospital. But yeah, they're all gone. Sorry.
00:07:36Hey. Just in case.
00:07:40Thank you. Yeah. So we went straight on to see Reina. And my mum always used to say, you
00:07:50know, if, if I die, I'll, I'll show you a sign, you know. And I was like, great. Well, what's
00:07:56your sign? She goes, well, I love elephants. So my sign will be an elephant. So if I ever
00:08:01die and you see an elephant, you know, that's me. And I'd gone on and the nurse said, I don't
00:08:09know if you give Reina a dummy or not, but I've given her a dummy because she's been crying.
00:08:13And I said, no, that's fine. And on the front of the dummy was a wee elephant, you know, and
00:08:21I just thought, right, that's, that's my sign. My mum's here and she's okay.
00:08:33What can you remember what your body felt like?
00:08:38Numb. I felt like I was just drifting. You know, I just felt like I was existing. I wasn't
00:08:49here.
00:09:09How long did that last? That, that, it's still here now. It's still here. You know, you laugh
00:09:18all day, you carry on, you cry all night. You know, you feel guilty for loving, you feel
00:09:25guilty for telling jokes, laughing, being involved, going to parties. But then that's not fair
00:09:33on Reina. You know, I still have to live a life for her.
00:09:41How's she getting on? She's fantastic. You know, she's our two brothers mixed into one, along
00:09:48with a wee pinch of her. She's, she's my everything. I exist for her. So she might be, she has
00:10:01no
00:10:01weight of grief. I hope not. When it comes to asking questions about it. No. So I'm imagining that she
00:10:08might have often been asking questions in a very happy way. And you're...
00:10:15you know, she'll be like, oh, do you want to go to the pier? Do you just want to go
00:10:18down
00:10:18and, you know, have a look or just to see? And she'll, no, I'll say aye, okay. I'll never
00:10:25say no. We can't. You know. And we do. She went down, she'll put a Derry City scarf on the,
00:10:31on the gate. And she writes their name on it. You know, and then she goes, can we go back
00:10:37down there and make sure that scarf's still there? You know. What, what do you reckon
00:10:45she makes of it? I don't know. I've never, you know, she knows it's hard. She, she, like,
00:10:52she misses them. She'll tell you, you know, she misses, she misses the fact that she had
00:10:57two big brothers and they're not here. You know, she goes, that's not fair that they got
00:11:02to know me, but I didn't get to know them. And I went, but you do know them, because they're
00:11:08basically you. Hmm. Is the house covered in... Not covered. I do have pictures. I'm not
00:11:17that morbid. Is there, are there photographs everywhere? In my hall. I've got photographs
00:11:24in the hall of them. And that's, and maybe two in the lovely room and then that's it. But
00:11:31is that a decision as well? Well, it's photos that was there anyway. You know, it's photos
00:11:35that I had. I just never took them down. Hmm. You know, and it's photos that some photos
00:11:41have been taken away and she's been in their place. Hmm. You know, but there's still some
00:11:48photos there to let her know that they still, they're still part of our family. We still
00:11:52talk about them.
00:11:59What's the journey from that moment like? Very hard. Very hard. You know, you exist. You
00:12:24know, the person that you want to talk to is no longer there. The person that you want
00:12:29to give you a hug, to tell you everything's going to be okay, is no longer there. You
00:12:34know, you think that can be your partner or your mum. But when the two of them's gone, you're
00:12:40left standing going, what do I do? Who do I turn to? Who do I talk to? You know, you're
00:12:45left, you're left talking to a four month old baby. Crying in the middle of the night
00:12:50or whatever. Sometimes I didn't sleep. I walked the floors. How important was the, were the
00:13:02three or four days of grieving before they were buried? That was hard because the house
00:13:10didn't empty. You're like, there was thousands of people came, they pay their respects. The
00:13:17house never emptied. You know, we didn't get a chance to, to breathe. You know, if there
00:13:22wasn't people and there was media trying to take pictures, you know, it was tough going.
00:13:30You know, you felt like you had no privacy. You were just invaded with people trying to take
00:13:37pictures of the coffins. You know, it was hard. And were you aware of that? Yeah. Can
00:13:47you, can you talk to me about those feelings and what they're like? Tough. They're heart
00:13:54wrenching. They're sick. You want to throw up. You don't want to let them go. You just want
00:14:02to keep them forever. You can't. That lad has to go in that coffin at some stage. And
00:14:09that's, that's the bit you don't want to do. Taking them to the cemetery is, is terrible.
00:14:17You don't want to leave the cemetery then. Like it's hard having a wake for one. But when
00:14:22you're having a wake for five, it's a different story. Did you choose everybody's clothes?
00:14:34I did. I did. What did you put them in? I put them in their Dairy City rigs. Of course.
00:14:43Had to be the red and white. Yeah. And your mom and your sister. Yeah. I put a nice dress
00:14:52for my mom, my sister. And my mom had a nice skirting top. Were you in the room when they
00:14:59closed the coffins? Yeah. Yes.
00:15:08You remember what you did? I gave them a kiss. Told them night night. All of them? Yeah.
00:15:25Yeah. Yeah. It was hard. But I had to. Do you, are you apart from Rena much now? No, only
00:15:35when she's at school. She's nearly like stuck to my side. Yeah. What do you think of, I know
00:15:42you feel the guilt. Yes. What do you think of that? What do you think about feeling guilty?
00:15:53I feel guilty every day. And then I feel guilty for feeling guilty because of, of Rena. You
00:16:00know, I just said, I feel guilty for going away, for being away. Cause I go, you know, might
00:16:06not have happened if I had been there. You know, but then you have to stop and tell yourself
00:16:11that what's happened's happened and you can't change it. And you can't feel guilty forever.
00:16:17You know, at some stage you have to draw a line and say, you know. And be brave. And be
00:16:24brave. Yeah. And go. Yeah. Enough's enough. This is me. This is my new chapter. So it's, it's
00:16:32ten years now in March. And I'm doing a charity event. Charity event is in Boncana. So it's
00:16:41a walk. It's going to start at the park where they were last playing, where they were last
00:16:46having fun. And it's going to go over towards the RNLI station. And the RNLI men are going
00:16:54to have the booked out and let people see what they actually do in remembrance of them. The
00:17:01money that I raise is going towards the RNLI. This is the, I want to celebrate their life.
00:17:09Celebrate them in the walk and a gala ball. I'm doing a gala ball in Everton Hotel. And the
00:17:19money that I raise is all going to the RNLI. Do you think it's, it's possible to have a
00:17:26bit of crack at something like that? Of course. Yeah. I don't want it to be doom
00:17:31and gloom. You know, I'm definitely not a doom and gloom person. You know, I do like to
00:17:36have a bit of crack. I'll cry when I go home. You know, I'll bawl my eyes out for having
00:17:41a bit
00:17:42of crack. But of course, yes, you know, I do, I do like a bit of fun.
00:17:48How about dating? Well, that hasn't taken off yet. With a big yet. Maybe someday.
00:18:02You're just getting yourself organised. Oh, maybe I'm a wee bit too much for someone. Too
00:18:10much baggage. No, but your body has needs. Do you mean? Yeah. You're a physical person.
00:18:22Yes. You know. Yeah, of course. You want to meet someone. Of course you do. You know, I
00:18:40want her to be, do you know that life is about having, having someone there? Being in a, in
00:18:48a relationship with someone? Yes, of course. Do people ask you advice about grief?
00:18:55Sometimes, yeah. But I can't give, I can't give them that answer. I know, everybody grieves
00:19:03in different ways, at different stages. You know, all I can say is just be patient. Be patient
00:19:09with somebody that's grieving. You know, you think the first, everybody thinks the first year's
00:19:17the hardest. It's not. That's the easiest. For me, it was the second and third. The reality
00:19:25of, you know, everybody getting back to normal. And then no longer being involved in people's
00:19:32lives. You know, their friends still calling to me. They're amazing. Their wee friends, their
00:19:38mummies, should all be so proud of them. Because they're amazing. You know, they still call and
00:19:43check on me and check on Reina. And they're so, they're so lovely. And they tell me that
00:19:49their memory will live on forever with them. You know. Remarkable. I don't want anybody to
00:19:54forget them. How old are these young Felisnatta? How old are they? Well, some of them would
00:19:59have been eight at the time. And some of them would have been 12. So Evan's friends would
00:20:03have been eight. Mark's friends would have been 12. So now you have eight, like 18 to 22
00:20:09year olds coming into me with tattoos and driving their cars and their girlfriends. All tell
00:20:15me, they all look what I've done. And say like when they do something, they come on to get
00:20:19my approval. You know, but they're amazing. You know, and Jodie's friends as well. You
00:20:24know, I see Jodie's friends and they want to meet me for coffee. And they want to chat to
00:20:28me. They want to talk to me about the fundraising. They want to get involved. They're like, right,
00:20:33is there a Facebook? You know, and there is. It's the Bunkranapir tragedy. That's the Facebook
00:20:40page and the Instagram page for donations. If anybody wants to go on and support us with
00:20:47the foundation. I just want to raise as much awareness for the RNLI. And Mark and Evan and
00:20:53Jodie's friends are helping with that. And they're remarkable. They're amazing. You know, and I love
00:21:00seeing them. What did you write on their tombstones? I wrote all, well, it's quite a big one. Is
00:21:08it one big one? Yeah, they're all in together. So my mum and Jodie's on one side and Sean and
00:21:13the two boys are in the other. And then I had a girl in between. I had a baby daughter
00:21:20in between
00:21:20the two boys. And she is now in with the boys and her dad. She died 17 hours after she
00:21:28was born
00:21:28with fluid in the lungs. So I have a wee prayer. I have the angel, the angel of God prayer
00:21:35on
00:21:36their headstone. Because we said that every night before we went to bed.
00:21:40How does that go?
00:21:43Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits me here, ever this day be at my
00:21:48side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.
00:21:54Yeah, so that's on their headstone. What was your daughter's name?
00:22:03Oh, Jessica. It's too easy a thing to say, but it's... I hope that there is... that you
00:22:21can leave a lot of stuff behind you. Yeah. That the 10 years thing is alright. It's nearly
00:22:28like... I wanted to be... you know, I wanted to be a celebration of their life. You know,
00:22:37and... thank every individual that was there that night that helped. You know, there's so
00:22:42many of them that I don't know and I want them to know that I'm grateful. I want them to
00:22:46know that, you know, I appreciate everything that they did. And for me, this is... it's
00:22:5410 years. And I do want to do, you know, the fundraising. But it's nearly like this is the
00:23:01closing of a chapter. And open up a new chapter with me and Raina. And it's like a fresh start.
00:23:08In a way, no, we'll never move on, but we can move forward.
00:23:13Hmm. What date in March is the... is the walk? The anniversary is the 20th. And the walk we're
00:23:23doing is on Sunday the 22nd at 11 o'clock at the park in Boncana. And then on Friday the
00:23:328th of
00:23:33May, which is my mum's birthday. That's when I'm doing my gala ball in Everington Hotel.
00:23:44So I don't know, really, what you were thinking in terms of coming on to the show, but I just
00:23:59want to thank you very much for being so open and talking to me about what happened and...
00:24:09I know this is my first ever interview. I've never done one before. This is the first time
00:24:14I've spoke publicly about it. I talk about it all the time. You know, I talk to friends and family
00:24:19and, you know, people who ask. If people ask me, I'll openly talk about it. No, I'm not afraid.
00:24:25People think if they bring it up they're upsetting me, but, you know, they're not. But, you know,
00:24:31I don't... I actually don't mind. I like knowing that I've helped people. Some people say,
00:24:36you know, you've helped me, you're three. And that's nice to know. You know, but the whole
00:24:41reason for me doing this was to promote the fact that I want to make as much awareness for
00:24:48they are in L.A. as possible, in Boncranet. OK. Yeah. Thanks, Louise. Thank you so much.
00:24:59Wow.
00:25:14Welcome back to the second half, everybody. Freddie, who's next?
00:25:18Tommy. Our next guests are Cormac and Brandano Bugli.
00:25:34Now, you're a man I often think of. Good way or bad way? Well, in a very inspirational way.
00:25:43Yeah. I'd be very inspired by you, Brendan, and your attitude to life.
00:25:50And the last time I was talking to you, you were on with Seamus, but I think after that
00:25:55I bumped into you somewhere and you were just about to drive across Mongolia
00:26:01in an old banger of a car. There's something about the attitude of saying yes to things,
00:26:08though that's very inspiring. Did you get any of that? Well, I'm here.
00:26:19What could be more dangerous than this? So for people who don't know, your father and son,
00:26:24are you a good dad, do you reckon? I'm full of faults. I've made mistakes. I might have been too
00:26:33hard at times,
00:26:34wished I wasn't. And I just gave it my best shot. I gave it my best shot. I made mistakes.
00:26:45Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. Yeah. And...
00:26:53When did... This isn't a therapy session, but I don't wake over it. Was there...
00:27:00When did you realise that you'd be able to work with your dad?
00:27:07Um... Work with him... I don't know. I don't really see music as work, like...
00:27:13I could kind of grow up with it. But I guess working on, I suppose, the TV programme,
00:27:18She in the Milk Leach, and... That's a bit... That's kind of work, I suppose.
00:27:23Yeah. I guess when I was asked, he was very excited to work with him, like...
00:27:30The question you asked him, how he was as a father, like...
00:27:35I'd say I'm probably in the best position to answer that, maybe.
00:27:39But he's a great father, and a great musician, singer, very loving.
00:27:44He did his best for all of us, and I learned a lot from him.
00:27:49And I wouldn't be here without him, like, in terms of music, what I'm doing in my life.
00:27:54So, yeah, I'm very grateful to be born into the family I have been.
00:27:59What have you learned from him?
00:28:04Um... Music and honesty, I think. I think that connection.
00:28:08And how he plays. He's a very emotional player. And a very honest player.
00:28:16And... I've grown up with him playing.
00:28:18And I literally wake up in the morning to hear him playing the accordion for years.
00:28:22And then I'd go down and I'd associate that with how he was. It was formless.
00:28:27So I can tell what form my dad's in just by playing a few notes.
00:28:31There was one time I came home from the Hillgrove, the nightclub in Dingle.
00:28:34Came in late, and I could hear my dad playing.
00:28:37And I went down the hallway, and I looked into two holes in the door in the kitchen.
00:28:42And I knew from the millisecond I walked in the door that he was crying and playing.
00:28:45So I walked in, and sure enough looked in, and he was playing in the air and streaming, crying.
00:28:53So there's a big... like there's a lot of honesty in the man.
00:28:56And I kind of grew up in that.
00:28:59And I learned that from him, I think.
00:29:01I've learned a lot more from him as well as I can...
00:29:04But how long have you got?
00:29:06Any practical things like fixing punctures or...
00:29:10Bleeding radiators.
00:29:12He hates my car.
00:29:13Oh, his car, don't you?
00:29:15He's one wiper.
00:29:17I should be there. One wiper.
00:29:19You're driving at night.
00:29:22The window steams up.
00:29:24You try to press the heater to clear the window.
00:29:26It takes five minutes to clear it.
00:29:28There was a bulb gone there last week.
00:29:31Sticky seats.
00:29:32Sticky seats.
00:29:36You have no class, though.
00:29:38But the first priority of a car is to get you where you're going.
00:29:42She's never left me down.
00:29:43Yeah, yeah.
00:29:44That's my father's thing as well.
00:29:46A car is just to get you from A to B.
00:29:48That's all there is to it.
00:29:50That's an interesting word to use in terms of music, isn't it?
00:29:52Honesty.
00:29:53In terms of a tune.
00:29:56I'm very taken with that idea of...
00:30:01The full range of human emotions are...
00:30:06Can be found in a musical instrument.
00:30:09Yeah, they're in the tunes.
00:30:12Tunes don't grow on trees.
00:30:14They come from people's experiences and composers.
00:30:19And musicians generally.
00:30:21The good ones are very sensitive and they put their heart and soul
00:30:26and their experiences into these tunes.
00:30:28And I see tunes, they're kind of like blockchains.
00:30:30They capture meanings, feelings and also historical events in them.
00:30:38And I think the goal of an artist or musician or singer is to unlock that meaning
00:30:43and to apply it, like we play lots of old tunes, but to apply that to nowadays
00:30:49and to your own experiences.
00:30:51And that's why it lasts as long as it has.
00:30:57Is there a living for you in the music, Cormac?
00:31:00There is, yeah.
00:31:02How?
00:31:03How do you put that together?
00:31:05Well, to make a living in traditional music anyway, I think the main way to do is to play solo.
00:31:12So, I play, I play gigs.
00:31:15I play, at this stage I'm playing about between 10 and 20 gigs a year.
00:31:20Ireland and internationally.
00:31:22I play, I think, I play in different projects.
00:31:26I play duets and trios and the family, myself and my dad and my sister Cliona are recording at the
00:31:34moment.
00:31:35But it's mostly solo to make a living from it.
00:31:38It doesn't sound like an awful lot of gigs in fairness, does it 10 or 20?
00:31:41No, but...
00:31:42In terms of your living and in terms of, you know...
00:31:44Yeah, well, it's kind of supplemented as well, because at home in Dingle, I bought a guest house two years
00:31:50ago.
00:31:51And I'm setting that up as a school, like a week long courses and various instruments or dancing or music.
00:31:59And I have artist residency there as well.
00:32:03So, I spent about 14 years on the road playing, like in various different projects.
00:32:09At this stage, less is more, and I have to mind the love for the music and the playing.
00:32:19Because overdoing it, I was at a point where I was probably playing too much and losing the grot for
00:32:27it.
00:32:27So, trying to keep the core of it.
00:32:30Sometimes you might overbook a tour, and sometimes you come off the stage and you're getting through it.
00:32:40You're kind of going through the motions on some level.
00:32:42But I'd rather do three or four really good gigs than to do 20 gigs.
00:32:50Wow, yeah.
00:32:51Do you know?
00:32:52Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:32:52Those kind of tours can be relentless and almost about the honesty first.
00:32:57If you don't really feel that tune, like, I mean, unless you're really hard up and you need the money,
00:33:05you have the heart first.
00:33:08And I think the money will follow if you stick with that.
00:33:13That all sounds ideal and attractive. How does it tie into paying bills?
00:33:24I think you cut your cloth. I lived in a camper van in Galway for about seven, eight years.
00:33:29Toured around paying the camper van.
00:33:32Whereabouts did you park up?
00:33:34On campus.
00:33:35What?
00:33:35On campus, outside the Crane Bar.
00:33:37Really? You did seven years of that?
00:33:39I did, yeah. I had a Ford Transit, lived in a camper van.
00:33:43Can you describe the back of the camper van to me?
00:33:49Well, it's an old British railway, short wheelbase, high roof, Ford Transit.
00:33:55And so I had a bit of electrics in the back.
00:33:57So I had a Birko in the back of it for the hot water bottle.
00:34:03I had a microwave and I had an electric blanket.
00:34:07I feel like I was paying it forward, like you can live for very little.
00:34:10Yeah, yeah.
00:34:11And save money. And then, yeah.
00:34:15And I'm sure Dad was proud of it, but what did Mum think?
00:34:21Mum isn't a fan of Dad's car.
00:34:26Or my type of camper van.
00:34:31You separated, did you, yourself and Cormac's mum?
00:34:35Yes.
00:34:35Well, we did and we're still good friends.
00:34:37Right.
00:34:37And I think if you really love your children, you'll be good to their mother or their father.
00:34:41That was the golden rule number one with me.
00:34:46And things I simply let go was it more important for me to show that I love my children.
00:34:53So, I mean, the best way to do that is to be good to their father or their mother.
00:34:58Simple enough, I think.
00:35:00But easier said than done.
00:35:04That's good.
00:35:05Will you play me a tune?
00:35:07I'd love to, yeah.
00:35:07Yeah, yeah.
00:35:08Whatever flows out of you.
00:35:09Yeah, we do the children.
00:35:10It should, yeah.
00:35:13What are you doing?
00:35:14What are you doing?
00:35:15What are you doing?
00:35:17Oh, yeah.
00:35:17Oh, yeah.
00:35:18This song was written in 1880.
00:35:21There are 13 verses.
00:35:23I thought we'd sing one or two.
00:35:25And it was a celebration of a Naivóig from the Great Basket that won a regatta in Wintry.
00:35:33And people used the Irish language.
00:35:35They used Irish words for being cool.
00:35:38That time they used English words for being cool.
00:35:40So they were so happy with the boat.
00:35:42The Naivóig, they called it the beauty.
00:35:44The beauty das na lá.
00:35:50ludziopas in Wintry
00:36:32CHOIR SINGS
00:37:02CHOIR SINGS
00:37:23CHOIR SINGS
00:37:54CHOIR SINGS
00:38:26CHOIR SINGS
00:38:26CHOIR SINGS
00:38:28CHOIR SINGS
00:38:38CHOIR SINGS
00:38:40CHOIR SINGS
00:38:40CHOIR SINGS
00:38:51CHOIR SINGS
00:38:54the land and whatever I have I learned from the people before me and Cormac was inspired by his
00:39:02neighbours and by me and that's how it's that's the natural way. Can you tell me about the time
00:39:11after Seamus passed and how you traveled through that as a family? Well it is very difficult when
00:39:21you lose a sibling and I lost my brother John in 2000 and 15 he was 62 and then Seamus
00:39:28when he was
00:39:3273 and recently I lost my sister she was 74 but I'm at that stage of life I do my
00:39:39crying I do my
00:39:41emotion and I I just get through it I was born in in in an island that that faced birth
00:39:50and death
00:39:51in almost the same way your first breath and your last breath your life is that between those two
00:39:56breaths and I just it's a natural part of life and without accepting it I think you that's where
00:40:05the problem starts because you you're kind of prioritizing your own pain you just have to let
00:40:13the pain live it and play your way to run your way to swim your way to it and just
00:40:18accept it there's
00:40:19nothing it's it's the most natural thing in the world again easier said than done. Do you go for checkups
00:40:27and stuff like that like did they did they did they pass a similar things or was it or was
00:40:32it
00:40:32every year I go for my NCT if you do it with your old car what would you do it
00:40:36yourself and so far so
00:40:38good anyway yeah I look forward to your doctor's report that says there's only one wiper working
00:40:44and the seat is a bit sticky and you open two eyes there's only one light one full light going
00:40:54you pay me another tune yeah yeah okay we'll play three pokers please um three pokers from um West
00:41:02Kerry the first thing called we won't go home till morning got that from Pod in Borg and the second
00:41:07one downies and then the third one called Nelly yeah
00:41:37Wow
00:41:38Wow
00:41:39Wow
00:41:39Wow
00:41:40Wow
00:41:40Wow
00:41:44Bye
00:41:48Bye
00:41:50Bye
00:48:32is interesting to me in that you decided at a particular time okay I am for whatever reasons
00:48:40I don't know but I'm I'm going to move to London and I'm going to work the circuit there there's
00:48:44any amount of gigs uh any amount of travel but there's any amount of gigs yeah um how is all
00:48:52that so the circuit in the UK it's bloody brilliant you can work and you can go into
00:49:01rooms and uh be on with some the talent and the intelligence that you're talking about
00:49:09uh I get to be on bills with some of the like the best talent in the world and it's
00:49:17just brilliant
00:49:18to be holding my own in that world and uh I you know I I have nights where you know
00:49:26I do sets in
00:49:28the comedy store central London you know there's no like you couldn't you wouldn't be asking it's
00:49:37like high-speed broadband in terms of the electricity in the room and with the crowd uh and uh I
00:49:45come
00:49:45off and you might have another gig to go to straightaway afterwards and you're walking through
00:49:50the tube station and you just feel like I'm fucking here in this city no but you can't say I
00:49:58wasn't
00:49:58here tonight I fucking did it I laid it out and it's just the like and I I'm going over
00:50:05the top here
00:50:05because I I think the club comedy circuit is kind of maligned in a way and it's because in a
00:50:12sense it
00:50:12doesn't it's an outsider of the whole the thing we talk about a lot which is the economy and the
00:50:19neoliberal kind of whole circus and funneling that happens to comedians which is where you go when you
00:50:26build your own brand and you're selling out shows everywhere and that's the the high thing but I
00:50:31think the club comedy circuit is it's a very psychologically healthy space so it's more anarchic
00:50:36it's an art yes it is yeah there's there's more that can happen and uh and I guess in the
00:50:44UK
00:50:44whatever you say about it it's very politically alive and uh it's uh I I think that fearlessness
00:50:52is is all around me over there and I'm I you know it's it's there to be come come with
00:50:58us come over
00:50:59and do more club comedy gigs is it um is it demanding in terms of travel
00:51:07and money and no pension and you only get paid if you get on the train to Cardiff
00:51:13absolutely yeah the rewards are not there in terms of you know comfort or you know future planning for
00:51:21yourself but yeah I guess you know that's the world where uh the world is changing and all that stuff
00:51:29is
00:51:30happening in every aspect of life uh so we're not kind of different there but and so that there's
00:51:37you're not going to be saving money absolutely not no no so it's you kind of have to really enjoy
00:51:44it and
00:51:44love it if you're if you're going to do it and and get your goods that way I but actually
00:51:50since I
00:51:50started doing so I um went and did a master's uh uh to kind of change things up and be
00:51:59like introduce new
00:52:00uh reading and stuff into uh what I was looking at and um I think I probably do see like
00:52:11more just
00:52:11myself doing more of that because of what you're talking about but uh it has actually made me like
00:52:18just realize and appreciate the the comedy circuit an awful lot more just a very fact because actually
00:52:25when I went into the master's was in sustainability and I was the whole thing was like oh this is
00:52:30unsustainable yeah so um it made a lot of sense in the end and it wasn't a master's with a
00:52:36view to
00:52:37getting employment as a sustain a billeter no I wasn't really I mean I couldn't even go into
00:52:46you know uh you know uh kind of a company now and be their sustainability manager you know it wouldn't
00:52:52be uh uh it just wouldn't work really I don't think but uh I think I I it has definitely
00:53:00given me a new
00:53:01I guess point of view on the world and uh um yeah it it it it it's gave me like
00:53:12the under the answers
00:53:13to a lot of the questions I had about like what the hell is happening here so so what is
00:53:18happening
00:53:20so um our whole society uh is caught up in this paradigm of neoliberal trying to extract extract extract
00:53:33from the ground and the trees and the animals and um I don't I don't believe until we get right
00:53:39with the
00:53:39natural world we're going to be able to we're going to keep doing the same thing I get that yeah
00:53:46yeah totally why do you use the phrase neoliberal is there a definition of it there's it's yeah but
00:53:55it's long gone yeah so it's like you have capitalism and then that capitalism is fine because it can
00:54:05operate in discrete small ways but neoliberalism is like taking over everything and it wants to
00:54:12interact with yourself and change yourself so that you are in and under it
00:54:19and the system is so big that you'd wonder how to act against it yeah but that idea of
00:54:30the type of the type of stand-up that world that you operate in is where it's not about people
00:54:38turning
00:54:38themselves into a product because they're nobody knows who they are in a sense they are where they
00:54:44are tonight this is not part of a career move in a sense it's uh i get that um what
00:54:56do you find yourself
00:54:56uh writing jokes about uh i actually like probably i'm funniest about uh like very mundane stuff
00:55:11uh i yeah like household bits and just the frustration of that i think it goes against
00:55:20because you know i kind of here i am on television talk about neoliberalism
00:55:23but you know if i you know go on about the grade of cardboard in the box of the washing
00:55:30powder and
00:55:30how that's you know so good these days that actually is it it's so good yeah yeah they're getting stronger
00:55:38and stronger i can't throw them out that's the yeah uh just that kind of uh
00:55:48stuff that i guess i don't i like i think i'm kind of too good to be talking about but
00:55:53actually
00:55:54that's that's really funny that stuff so and how do you feel then coming home to us in in terms
00:56:02of the stimulation of england and what have you noticed about the english that you kind of think
00:56:08because you're so unusual you have no idea it's really funny because when i do your show so you
00:56:14know how do you support for you in the uk yeah and the uh you know there's often be i
00:56:21would think more
00:56:22irish than english in the audience and there is a sense in the room i think and i i have
00:56:29this in my
00:56:29head whether it's true or not but that everybody in in the room is an irish person who's been holding
00:56:36stuff in that they wanted to say about england but that you have because you're an immigrant you
00:56:43have to mind your manners a bit and you know be kind of go okay no no that's absolutely normal
00:56:47you
00:56:48put butter on the toast before you give it to me no it's grand it's grand this kind of thing
00:56:53uh it's
00:56:54it's a great feel and i i i like it as a show when we do it together because i
00:56:59do that thing but then
00:57:01you're you know obviously doing you know the full set and everything so that's brilliant
00:57:07so what stereotypes do you think that they have of you yeah they could they probably think i'm i'm
00:57:14very overwrought about religion uh and yeah that um uh you know if you if you say you don't drink
00:57:23over
00:57:23there in an irish accent that's something that has to be explained wow yeah do you still not drink
00:57:33yeah i don't drink no how long are you off it now i'm off i haven't drank in 18 years
00:57:38any alcohol
00:57:38yeah why did you give up the drink i gave up the drink i was sad it was making me
00:57:46sad and
00:57:48uh i it was weird i didn't know how else to like i had to take steps to get off
00:57:55the drink
00:57:56in that like i just i couldn't do it on my own so i went to you know uh uh
00:58:02i went to meetings and
00:58:05uh yeah acted on it hmm yeah so i never had a sense of you of someone who's a problem
00:58:13drinker
00:58:14see it was all kind of internal kind of i never like was you know acted out and that was
00:58:21a little
00:58:21hard actually when i went to meetings first because i was comparing myself to people who you know had
00:58:28also were at the same you know um struggle you know and trying to stop and they but like they
00:58:35kind
00:58:35of maybe had wake-up calls like they had uh crashed a car or something like that that that kind
00:58:41of thing
00:58:41and i um uh would be kind of saying but i'm not that i didn't do that you know but
00:58:48it's it's
00:58:48absolutely nothing to do with that if you want to stop drinking it's about your internal how you
00:58:52feel about yourself and is this impacting my mental health and yeah yeah um did it make sense to you
00:59:01when you i don't know if you did but standing up at a meeting and going my name is Eleanor
00:59:06Tiernan
00:59:06and i'm an alcoholic did that did that so yeah you've named it there now um i i had to
00:59:12work at
00:59:13that uh and i wasn't sure i ever really got there but it yeah i guess that was the words
00:59:20are another
00:59:21step aren't they like sitting in the room felt right so that was that was oh that was enough
00:59:29um um i have a uh a sense of you as well as uh there's no definition of you that
00:59:44is accurate so sometimes and sometimes people want identity sometimes people say i'm a this or i'm a
00:59:52that but the truth of their lives is it's a lot it's those categories yeah so i don't know when
01:00:02you came out as gay maybe what was that maybe 10 years ago or something or maybe a bit more
01:00:09yeah
01:00:10yeah yeah and the next time i met you then you were going out with the fella
01:00:13yeah so what what was that experience what was that um yeah i just found it very hard to be
01:00:22a
01:00:26yeah really land on something that made sense and i guess you're kind of presented with a few
01:00:32categories and line up in one of those and you know i was stressed about that for a very long
01:00:39time
01:00:40and i said i have to say something you know just to kind of move on and move forward and
01:00:45you know
01:00:46whatever happens afterwards at least won't be inside me all the time and just me on my own with this
01:00:52thing so i kind of did it and and uh spoke to people and you know uh and um then
01:01:04uh yeah it just kind
01:01:08went away then it was all kind of so can you talk about that a little bit just like that
01:01:16sense of
01:01:17having to say something in order to get beyond it so it was a it was a declaration of
01:01:26of what of not being i'm not being straight i'm not straight yeah
01:01:31yeah yeah but that was as far as i i did go with it you know i was uh yeah
01:01:39like you say like i i do
01:01:41find it very difficult to say i am something in that sense but also other senses as well
01:01:48uh but yeah did you now did you go home to atlone and say i've got something to tell you
01:01:55yeah i did
01:01:56yeah how did that go uh they were delighted yeah yeah they were like you know kind of going where's
01:02:03the gate here and then bingo like were they washing the dishes and and they kind of went oh great
01:02:14no i kind of yeah no i said come into the sitting room and uh because that's where things are
01:02:20said
01:02:22and uh they came in and um i i just no i just said here listen for a second
01:02:33here's some information and uh they were just grand like yeah fine no bother
01:02:41were you how did you feel about their reaction to it
01:02:47i yeah no maybe i felt like
01:02:52a little bit more of a struggle would have been would have would have honored my silence
01:03:01my decades of
01:03:04wow yeah yeah was there um i bet you if john had said he was gay there'd be a lot
01:03:10more of a fuss
01:03:11yeah well that's true that's just true
01:03:16oh jesus yeah no my mother would have been out you know buying rainbow stuff
01:03:22um yeah what do you see yourself getting up to over the next while is it to decide on
01:03:29i want to get up in the morning more just experience the morning and experience uh yeah birds and
01:03:37uh as much nature as i can and yeah just i feel that's really good for your head
01:03:44um i'm not going to end this interview formally
01:03:52because we're blood-like so i'll be talking to you
01:03:58that's all from us this week ladies and gentlemen thank you very much for watching
01:04:05did you tell mom and dad you're going to be on oh really no
01:04:10do
01:04:25so
01:04:26so
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