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00:00Hey it's your girl Lori Mack here from 105 when the bounce and I am here with a very special
00:04guest
00:05okay he has turned trauma into testimony prison into purpose and pain into power Detroit welcome
00:12Dr. Lardell to the show thank you thank you very much thank you very much I don't call you coach
00:19I'm about to call you Lardell coach D whichever one makes you I'm the same one and only oh thank
00:25you so much for coming yes ma'am so I know you're I know you're busy I know you're busy
00:29you're doing
00:29great things a lot and you got a new book yes that you just dropped yes so up from ashes
00:36the streets
00:37prison and redemption is definitely a story of redemption survival it speaks to intergenerational
00:46trauma and abuse I was a victim child victim of abuse by my mother a single parent because of
00:55the abuse she suffered in Mississippi in the 40s and it just tells how unfortunate unfortunately
01:02especially within melanated households that that ugliness just continued and then it speaks to
01:08uh the next level the the maltreatment of children and the criminal justice system because once you
01:16begin to abuse your child the first thing they would want to do is go out and seek some type
01:22of
01:22friendship of family but oftentimes that's gangs or the bad element and next thing you know the
01:28criminality and that's exactly what happened uh but my story has a pretty good ending I think
01:35well and it's still going that's good so when you first so when you first started writing this book
01:40you took it all the way back from the beginning from where it started I had to because I was
01:45broken
01:45um I did not write I deliberately did not start writing in prison okay I wanted to get out and
01:52live first I didn't want it to be a prison book I was very bitter towards prison but it wasn't
01:58until
01:58after getting out I realized I can't be mad at the warden or the officers that beat me and put
02:03me in a
02:04hole or the building that they built to hold me they were created to feed those corrections officers
02:10families right as a job their purpose their goal is not to keep me out that's on me uh so
02:17so I I got
02:18over that uh but I realized I had to live a little bit I had to experience life to truly
02:24be able to
02:25write a book so I I held off for a long time and I'm glad I did so and I
02:31and I got a lot of experience
02:32uh by doing that oh I know that's right so after you came out you lived a little at what
02:38moment did
02:38you feel like okay it's time I think uh shoot that was like I've been I came home 2006 I
02:47didn't finish
02:48what the 2023 22 yeah so you let it ponder for a little while no doubt about it because uh
02:54you know
02:54I'm so I'm in a minute so the 14th of this month will be 20 years I've been home because
02:59I came home
03:006 14 yep uh 2 14 2006 so this valentine's day I'll celebrate the 20 years and then the 18th
03:08I
03:08celebrate 19 years of marriage yes there we go oh yeah so it was it's just um I took on
03:14a lot of
03:14other roles I you know I already had a son but then I had now I have an additional daughter
03:19that my wife
03:19had already who she's an adult now then my granddaughter by my daughter and so it was a lot
03:24different responsibilities I jumped into social work uh and so I started living life and expanding
03:30my little world because I come from a micro and to come out here in this macro um was very
03:37scary
03:37and that fear oftentimes came out as aggression uh it was at one point my wife said um I'm
03:45uncomfortable being in public with you because you so aggressive that when I tell you that was gut
03:52wrenching I can only imagine I went in the room closed the door and uh I said I got to
03:58do something
03:58else so that's when I was went and sought uh psychological help um and I suggest that every
04:04individual uh even if you're coming from the military anything you experience that's traumatic
04:09uh that can create that post-traumatic stress disorder and all those mental health issues you need
04:15to seek professional help absolutely because a lot of times people don't think about it when you know
04:19you come out you think you're gonna be fine you're gonna adapt but it actually turns out harder than
04:23what you could even imagine right I'm gonna tell you Lori uh I was just at the prison Lapeer prison
04:30just before I got here shout out to all my boys up at uh Lapeer thumb prison uh you guys
04:36will receive me
04:38uh we had a great conversation and I appreciate that uh that was some of the things I was kind
04:43of uh
04:44sharing with them the miss you have to you have to break the misnomers uh one of the hardest things
04:49to do for a man or woman but especially a man is to realize your foundation is based on sand
04:55and you have to tear it down and rebuild on a solid foundation uh especially coming from prison
05:01oh yeah like I told 99 of the stuff you learn in here to survive irrelevant out here in the
05:08world
05:09don't bring that with you because you won't make it so they was they were all ears oh I love
05:15that
05:15because last time they feel like they got to have that same mentality when they go out yeah I didn't
05:19I wouldn't think that you feel like they want to change you want to change your life when you go
05:22past those doors man it's so different man it is it's so it's so it was a long time before
05:27my wife
05:28could uh touch my face or kiss me if I was asleep if I was unconscious she couldn't uh because
05:34I jumped up
05:35in defense mode because so it's that part of the thing you know I hear keys jiggling because that's
05:41what the corrections officers used to do they will come by in the middle of the night and jiggle the
05:46keys real loud so affecting your sleep right so that noise would trigger me um I'm still to this day
05:53hyper sensitive like if I if I'm deep sleep but I hear something drop in the kitchen I'm up so
06:00now I
06:00have to sleep with a noise like a soft soft noise like uh rain or wind blowing on my on
06:06my phone
06:06to so I can stay asleep uh it's it's it's uh it can be some built-in trauma out there
06:11a little while
06:12make you emotional too I'm so sorry you have to deal with all that but it's you know but here
06:16I am
06:17and then that helped you build your book that you can present to us today yes yes which up from
06:22ashes
06:23yes but you came from it I'm telling you that that is an incredible story and I I'm really excited
06:28to
06:29dive a little deeper into the book because like you said it took a little while yeah you let it
06:35brew
06:35you let it stir in there for a little bit yes ma'am so my next question is what's what
06:40what's one myth
06:41that people believe about returning citizens that you wish would just disappear hmm I think I think a lot
06:50of pressures are put on uh a lot of people returning families feel like oh I'll be okay
06:56since he or she is out now right and they don't have a clue they need support so I think
07:04the biggest
07:05myth is thinking that these individuals are returning with a with a plan that everything will be fine and
07:14once they touch down everybody lives that they touch are going to be fine that pressure along with
07:22mental health issues that was not probably never treated before during and after substance abuse
07:28issues that they never brought up before during and after right so they kept that secret right uh
07:32disabilities physical disabilities cancer or something like that that they never had resolved the prison
07:38system never resolved it so they coming out with that that's a lot of pressure and then for people to
07:43be
07:43looking towards them especially as a melanated man you don't want to seem like you don't have the
07:48answers right that is so uh I wish it wasn't like that and I know society makes us feel that
07:54way but it's
07:55okay not to have the answers it's okay to be to realize I'm broken but that's the I think that's
08:01the
08:01biggest myth and I hope that the support for individuals that are returning changes more to a
08:07kind of nurturing thing absolutely I feel like we definitely need more of that yeah unless so
08:12so much force you know probably wouldn't make so much aggression out of men you know I I agree
08:17with that 100% I do yes ma'am and um what what are practical first steps for someone uh
08:24that can
08:26help them realize they're operating from unsolved pain like what's some steps they can do to help
08:31them get through that trauma I think first and foremost you have to be honest with yourself
08:37and you have to seek help that's that's you know especially in melanated again that because
08:43that's all I know because a lot of men doesn't don't well don't feel that they need therapy well
08:49well and I'm gonna tell you uh they so I'm gonna I'm gonna go a step further they realize it
08:54but it's
08:55it to them that appears weak oh I always felt like it was a pride thing but yeah it's a
09:01weakness to them
09:02or if I get therapy it's weak I it's like I don't know the answers it seems like especially
09:08melanated men if I don't have the answer to everything and if I can't save everybody then
09:13I'm not being doing my part and so it's a they pile a lot on themselves but no I think
09:19first and
09:19foremost mental health and what I like I told the guys earlier not just mental fine so figure out
09:26who you like to talk to for me I had it had to be an older gentleman I've always clicked
09:31with
09:31older dudes uh those my age are younger I can counsel them and talk with them but you know
09:39yeah I need I need to be around a dude older than me yeah and then definitely melanated and
09:45understanding where I come from I grew up on the west side Detroit number streets really rough really
09:50tough uh so you have to be able to identify with that not just because you got the paper on
09:54the wall
09:54so because trust in relationship in therapy is important so first and foremost I would say that
10:01next I would say which comes into a uh close close with hand in hand with the first establishing
10:09start listening to your spiritual self your your higher conscience uh I think that's very important
10:18yes uh my my level is connection with a higher power spiritual I don't care what you call
10:25that entity but higher power connection with yourself connection with your family
10:32then your community oh I love that you you boom you gotta have levels yeah you got levels to it
10:39and uh without doing that um if you skip any of those man you you're missing out a lot so
10:44it's a lot
10:45of fears man uh coming out and you understand the first hand yeah and that's why you've been working
10:52on other things you even worked on a children's book yes I did which is loosely based on my life
10:58so when the boy who never won wins it all man that is like one of my jewels I've actually
11:03been in uh
11:04ypsilanti school system macomb uh school system Detroit you've been all over yeah you read you read
11:11this book to the kids I do I read it to the I should have forward uh forwarded you a
11:16uh next time
11:17video because my son I have I have my son here he would have he gonna love that oh he
11:21would love a
11:21book I got one for you and I'm gonna sign it oh please yes right so so he so this
11:27book is just in
11:29just to sum it up Malachi is 10 years old grew up without a father he's in in the inner
11:36city uh his
11:37mother poor you know she had her own issues I didn't go deep into that because it's a children book
11:41um so he every day he'll see children playing with shiny things or new clothes he always had
11:47hand-me-downs and he just felt kind of bad because he never had what other children had or could
11:52afford
11:52that and so every day he's walking kind of with his head down kicking a can and I'm almost 60
11:58so when
11:59I was growing up uh matriarchs used to sit on the porch you know you have auntie and grandma sitting
12:04on
12:04the porch watching the community yeah well the this the sister was sitting on the porch she's seen him
12:09and um she said hey you know come over here young man let me talk to you so he went
12:14over there they
12:14introduced themselves and she said he explained his issue and she said well what if I showed you
12:20how what riches truly are he was like okay so she began explaining to him loving yourself loving your
12:28family loving your community doing the best you can even if you don't have the best it's not about the
12:34material so she went deep with him and he accepted that and next you know he was smiling and then
12:39the
12:39children that had the things wanted to play with him because he had a shinier disposition the moral
12:44of it is that um your conditions might not immediately change right your where you live
12:51the fact that you don't have things might not change today or tomorrow but what can change
12:57is your mindset because once you get into a mindset of positivity as you grow you're gonna go to school
13:04you go to college or get a tray you're gonna create the life you always wanted and then the material
13:10things ain't gonna matter because you're gonna so be so deeply spiritual but you'll still get some
13:14things you like exactly oh that's that's important that's deep i love that you get that from a
13:19children's book see listen it resonates deep thank you so i would love i would love a copy i got
13:24you
13:24and you know before we get out i have to ask what kind of legacy are you intentionally building
13:30oh i uh funny you say that my grandchildren i love them uh they respect me um i i want
13:40my
13:41being a child addict being a child delinquent being a victim of abuse being an ex-offender
13:51justice impacted i want that to be the footnote yes i want my life to resonate i help someone
14:00uh i cared for people yes i brought my best self forward i'm gonna tell you i always say this
14:09three ways people get you know their success through business or whatever they're doing the
14:14first is you're a good-looking person good-looking people men and women normally get doors open for
14:18them that's yes is what it next is people with money because money brings influence so they get doors
14:24open for them right then you have people like myself i'm not particularly good-looking and i don't have
14:29money but i'm authentic yes authenticity will get you in rooms that money can't oh and so as long as
14:36you stay the course of doing what the great spirit has directed you to do and you're treating people
14:44how you would want to be treated and not treating people how you wouldn't want to be treated eventually
14:49things go up and up so that's my i want to show that that's my life i i was geared
14:54towards making
14:55humanity a little bit better oh i love it i love it i love it and of course where can
15:00we go to get
15:00your book up from ashes well you can go to my website up from ashes dot b-i-z dot
15:07biz or simply
15:09just go to amazon up from ashes uh the streets prison redemption is there as well as the children's book
15:15when the boy who when the boy who never won wins it all both are there and i've got a
15:20few more things
15:21coming in the very near future okay so we're gonna be looking out for you thank you very much i
15:26appreciate that thank you so much mr dr lardell for stopping by salute your girl lori mack for 105 when
15:32you're looking out for you thank you very much for your time to bounce
15:33you
15:33you
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