- 3 hours ago
RELUCTANT mum Tawana (24) "partied and drank" through her entire pregnancy and was fortunate to give birth to a healthy baby girl, River (now two years old). Tawana never wanted to be a parent - in fact, she admitted to Truly: "I hate being a mum" - and she never expected to fall pregnant either. But one day, she woke up feeling dizzy and like "the room was moving" - when she was rushed to hospital, the nurse suggested an ultrasound test. Tawana's stomach was "completely flat" and there were no signs that she might be carrying a child - but the doctor had a huge surprise in store for her: "Tawana, you're pregnant. You're going to give birth in roughly four or five weeks." With no bump, no baby shower and no time to prepare, Tawana recalls: "For two days I was just crying, I was depressed. Nobody believed me at all." Her younger sister Andrea was one of the first to hear the news - and even she admits that she thought Tawana had come up with a "big prank." But sure enough, four weeks later, Tawana gave birth to her daughter River. She had considered giving her baby up for adoption, but decided against it at the last minute and instead she had to "Google how to be a mum" and learn the ropes as quickly as possible. And when Tawana decided to share her story online to raise awareness of 'cryptic' pregnancies like hers, there were more nasty surprises waiting for her. She received a backlash, with many people concluding that she "definitely knew" and was lying about her unexpected pregnancy, whilst others called her "a bad mum" for drinking whilst pregnant - neglecting the fact that she was not aware of the baby growing inside her. Despite the hate, Tawana remains level-headed and knows that there are many people who "do understand" so she is determined to continue with her mission to advocate for other young mums experiencing cryptic pregnancies. Now, almost three years later, Tawana admits that she is still not a natural parent: "Even though I'm a mum now, I'm still not a maternal person." And with Andrea visiting today, Tawana has spotted an opportunity to slip into a glamorous outfit and head out on the town, leaving River in her auntie's care. Will Andrea refuse, or will she take pity on her party girl sister and give her "one night off"?
Follow Tawana:
https://www.tiktok.com/@tawanatr
https://www.instagram.com/tawanaoffical.tr
Follow Tawana:
https://www.tiktok.com/@tawanatr
https://www.instagram.com/tawanaoffical.tr
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00:00I partied and drank throughout my whole pregnancy, and so what?
00:03My stomach was completely flat.
00:07I had no idea a baby was growing inside of me.
00:10And I found out four weeks before I gave birth.
00:13I had to Google how to be a mum.
00:15Like I was so unprepared.
00:17To be honest, I didn't even want to have kids.
00:19Do you hate being a mum?
00:20Yes, I hate being a mum.
00:22You don't want mum to go out.
00:23Look.
00:24Well now she's having a tantrum, like, it's like I can't win.
00:28But don't you think you should be staying home a little bit more, not partying?
00:31It's time to get ready.
00:34It's time for school, Bubbles.
00:36It's time for school.
00:39Hi, my name is Tawana.
00:40I'm 24 years old.
00:41I have one baby.
00:43Oh my God.
00:44Saying that out loud is crazy.
00:46This is River.
00:48This is my two-year-old daughter.
00:49River, say hi.
00:51Having a baby, it's definitely, like, survival mode.
00:56Look, she's running away.
00:57Come Bubbles, let's get ready for school.
00:59I'll give you chocolate.
01:00If you want, we'll go a soft play.
01:01Do you want to go a soft play?
01:02This is, like, the hard bit about motherhood.
01:05Do you always listen to mummy?
01:07No.
01:09That says it all for you.
01:10My relationship with River is more friendship-based compared to other parents.
01:15I feel like there's a lot of things that I would allow River to do that, per se, other parents
01:19wouldn't.
01:20Her getting her nails done or pink hair or, you know, anything.
01:25I'm just more chilled and laid back.
01:27I think she thinks that I'm her sister.
01:29Come, come Bubbles.
01:31Wait, stand up, stand up.
01:32She has a mind of her own and it's like, what do you do?
01:35Like, there's no, like, motherly, like, stop it.
01:37Like, I'm not that parent.
01:39What I went through will always make me feel detached as a mum because I love River with
01:45all my heart, but I just resented the fact that my life changed and I never had a choice.
01:51Hey.
01:51Hi.
01:52How are you?
01:53I'm about to make breakfast, bro.
01:54Hi, Riri.
01:55How are you, Bibi?
01:57Hi.
01:57Morning.
01:58This girl's not listening to anyone.
02:00Oh, she's not listening.
02:00She never listens.
02:02Should we make some Serevita?
02:03Yeah?
02:04Are you going to have me cook it?
02:04Want some breakfast, babes?
02:06OK, come.
02:06I had a cryptic pregnancy.
02:09Some women can, like, not show, like, for me, I did not have the whole belly, I didn't
02:15have the cravings, I didn't gain the weight.
02:19I didn't believe it when she had a baby, like, when you first told me, I couldn't believe
02:23it.
02:23Do you remember how small my stomach was?
02:25Bro, it was flat.
02:27Right here?
02:29That was, you was in there, Riri.
02:32It was in my stomach.
02:32Eight months.
02:33Flat.
02:34Where were you hiding?
02:36The day that I found out I was pregnant, I woke up one day, and I just felt like I
02:41was dying, like, it was like I felt dizzy, I was hyperventilating, like, the room was
02:47moving.
02:47The ambulance came, they took me in, and then the doctor was with a nurse.
02:52And she was like, oh, you know, I've seen this before.
02:54Let's do an ultrasound on her stomach.
02:57I lay down, and I kid you not, the doctors just look at me like, and I'm like, what's
03:04wrong?
03:04Like, how am I dying?
03:06And they're just silent.
03:07And then the doctor sits me up, he says, right, tell me now, you're pregnant.
03:11The problem is, you're going to give birth in roughly four or five weeks.
03:16They flip the screen, and I see a fully formed baby with her hand in her mouth, like this.
03:24And I said, Lord, no way.
03:27You now have a human inside of you that's about to come out.
03:30You have to, like, decide whether or not you want to do an adoption, or you're going to
03:35physically keep this baby.
03:38Like, for two days, I was just crying, I was depressed.
03:42Nobody believed me at all.
03:44And I thought it was a big prank.
03:46And I checked the time, it was February, January times, April footballs weren't there.
03:50Like, she didn't even believe me.
03:51She was like, you knew for a long time, trying to keep it a secret.
03:53I said, no, I did not know.
03:56When I heard that she was going to give her up for adoption, I was like, don't do it.
04:00But at the same time, she was so traumatised.
04:04Like, she never wanted to be a mother.
04:06There was no preparation, no baby shower, just literally about to pop.
04:12What can you do?
04:13Do you remember, I literally had to, like, Google how to be a mum, because it just got
04:17to a point where I was just like, okay, I have to just accept this.
04:19But how do you become something that you've never wanted to become?
04:24I absolutely hate being a mum, but I love my child.
04:28I hate being a mum because I have to be responsible.
04:31If I want to go outside of the house, it's not like, get up and go.
04:35It's get myself ready.
04:37Get River ready.
04:38If I clean up the house, it's going to be a mess in two seconds again.
04:42I hate the fact that I can't be selfish.
04:45Every single thing that I do is for River, because of River.
04:49There's no sense of, okay, what about me?
04:52And what do I want to do?
04:54You know, if you weren't here, Mummy would be getting her body done.
04:57I'd be outside, girl.
04:59We'd be outside together.
05:00We'd be outside together.
05:03Look at her, she's punching me.
05:06Aw, River.
05:07My life before River was crazy.
05:10I was a party girl.
05:12It didn't matter whether it was Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
05:15I wanted to drink.
05:16I wanted to be outside.
05:18I didn't care about anything.
05:20So, I'm going to pick her outfit, because I'm going out later on tonight.
05:24Mummy was pregnant with you when she wore this.
05:26Do you think this is crazy?
05:29You don't think this is crazy?
05:30Do you like it?
05:31I was living my best life.
05:33And then I was pregnant, while doing all of this.
05:36Like, full on pregnant and not knowing.
05:38I was drunk throughout my whole pregnancy.
05:41Like, I was literally drunk every single day.
05:44I don't know how I gave birth to a normal child.
05:47Like, it actually, like, just blows my mind.
05:50I started to post my story online and pregnancy,
05:53because I feel like everybody's always afraid to be judged.
05:57People online say the most ridiculous things.
05:59Like, let me even tell you what they say, because it's actually crazy.
06:03To be honest, this sounds like a lie.
06:04How could you not know that you're pregnant a whole nine months without your period?
06:08You obviously knew.
06:10Well, I didn't know because I was on contraception.
06:12How do you have a period on contraception?
06:14I was, like, on the IUD, which was, like, the arm implant.
06:17So, I had that in my arm since I was, like, 16.
06:20So, I just didn't have a period.
06:23People online are always trying to, like, suss me out and try to, like, accuse me.
06:26Like, how did you not know?
06:28If you don't believe me, okay.
06:30Okay.
06:30I hope it happens to you.
06:31Why are you so proud?
06:33This should be punishable by law.
06:36Neglecting a child's future life and mental health.
06:39They call me a bad mum for drinking throughout my whole pregnancy.
06:42And I don't deserve to even keep my daughter.
06:45Her life is fine.
06:47And her mental health is perfect.
06:49If anything, it's better than a lot more other children's mental health,
06:52because she has a good relationship with her mum.
06:54On the other hand, people still say some really nice stuff to me,
06:57which I really appreciate.
06:58They say stuff like,
07:00Wow, you're a strong mum.
07:02People like you are the reason we need to stop the stigma.
07:06Despite everything you've been through,
07:08you're honestly doing the best job with River.
07:10You're an amazing mumma.
07:12I knew there were some people that were just not going to understand me,
07:16but the fact that there are people that are out there that do understand me
07:19makes me so happy.
07:20Would you like to have more children in the future?
07:23I would definitely never want to have no more children in the future.
07:27I'm not a maternal person.
07:29Even though I'm a mum now, I'm still not maternal.
07:31So I don't have it in me to love two human beings equally.
07:37Guys, I'm going out.
07:40No.
07:41Bubba, I'm going.
07:42You don't want to stay with Noku?
07:45No, you want to stay with mummy.
07:48No.
07:48You don't want mummy to go out?
07:50No.
07:51Well, now she's having a tantrum.
07:53Like, it's like I can't win.
07:55There's other people that are going out in their 20s.
07:57When I go on my phone, like, I'm getting depressed because I'm just at home.
08:01I want to be happy so I can pour into her cup.
08:04How am I going to pour into her cup if I'm not happy?
08:07But don't you think you should be staying home a little bit more, not partying?
08:11No, because it's like, that's what I'm trying to do both.
08:15I am there for my child when she needs me.
08:18She has everything.
08:19She's fully fed.
08:20Do you think mummy deserves a night off?
08:23No.
08:23No.
08:25No, that's right now.
08:27She said no, not right now.
08:29The best thing about being a mum, I'll tell you, is that I get to see her grow.
08:33We're the best friend.
08:35I'm your best friend?
08:37Yeah.
08:37Really?
08:38Yeah.
08:39Oh my goodness.
08:40I like that I get to see my personality through somebody else and I can't even be mad.
08:45Like, when she does something crazy and it's like, oh, okay, I would do that too.
08:49Like, I understand, you know?
08:51Your girl needs a break.
08:53Make sure she's showered and everything.
08:56See you later.
08:57Put her to bed.
08:59Don't get too drunk.
09:00Whatever.
09:00Whatever.
09:02Thank you, girl.
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