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Jupiter Moon is a science fiction soap opera television series first broadcast by British Satellite Broadcasting's Galaxy channel in 1990. 150 episodes were commissioned and made, but only the first 108 were broadcast before the closure of BSB. Episodes 109–150 were first shown in the UK on the Sci Fi Channel in 1996.

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Transcript
00:00Message for Professor Brelin from ESS.
00:04Professor, go ahead.
00:07Your message about First Officer Lewis received.
00:10Lewis is employed by ESS, which is solely responsible for his employment.
00:16The decision to move Lewis to pacify has been taken in accordance with normal ESS practice, and the decision stands.
00:25May we remind you that you are not employed by the ESS, and have no responsibility in its dealings with
00:32its employees.
00:33End of message.
01:16Charles, you're not staring at me again, are you?
01:19Never.
01:20Look, I hate to be a distraction.
01:23I'll live with it.
01:24What about your work?
01:26There's more to life than Deedalus, but don't quote me.
01:29No, I wouldn't dream of it.
01:31Look, when do you think we're going to hear from Space Command?
01:34What about?
01:35Getting Fimbo reinstated as the First Officer.
01:37Why is everyone so interested in Fimbo Lewis's career?
01:40Because everybody likes him, cares about him, and worries when he's unhappy.
01:44They do?
01:45Yes, the same way as they'd worry about you if you were unhappy.
01:49Now you are joking.
01:50Well, it's not a problem, is it?
01:51Mercedes, I have more things to worry about than Fimbo Lewis.
01:55Where is that problem?
01:56No.
02:00Six hundred meters.
02:03Ground proximity warning.
02:06Five hundred meters.
02:08Red alert.
02:10Port engine frame out.
02:12Emergency restart initiated.
02:14Come on, come on!
02:18Passengers.
02:18Stop.
02:20Rewind.
02:22Stop.
02:24Play.
02:26More now's interesting.
02:28Pause.
02:28Come listen to this.
02:30It's a flight recording of Fimbo's landing on Aya.
02:33Now listen.
02:33Rewind.
02:35Stop.
02:36Here.
02:37Fimbo's down to six hundred meters in the middle of a sulfur storm.
02:41Play.
02:41Ground proximity warning.
02:44Five hundred meters.
02:47Red alert.
02:48Port engine frame out.
02:50Pause.
02:50See that?
02:51He loses his port engine.
02:53Shuttle's now got all the flying characteristics of a lump of concrete.
02:57Play.
02:58That's interesting.
03:00That's interesting.
03:02He's in a ballistic fall.
03:04The ground's whizzing up to meet him.
03:06Fimbo loses four hundred meters trying to get his engines restarted.
03:09And then he pulls six G's as he decelerates down to the pad.
03:13Ninety meters.
03:15Iobase, this is Centaur shuttle.
03:17Final approach.
03:18Pause.
03:21Iobase.
03:21Jesus.
03:22And Space Command want to ground him?
03:24Yeah, well, perhaps it's all for the best.
03:27What?
03:27Look, there are old pilots and bold pilots.
03:31There are no old, bold pilots.
03:33You don't mean that.
03:34Why not?
03:35If Fimbo hadn't got his engines restarted, he'd just be another crater on Iob.
03:41Act one, scene one.
03:43Enter Samson and Gregory with bucklers and swords from the house of Capulet.
03:48On my word, Gregory, we'll no carry coals.
03:54Nah, for then we would be colliers.
03:58That's a joke.
04:00Coal colliers.
04:02Ha, ha.
04:04I mean, and we be in collar, we'll brawl.
04:12What do you reckon, Jack?
04:14You are a brilliant, brilliant director.
04:16Dr. Byron, but even you, Byron, I shall say,
04:19even you must realise that we're not looking for brilliantly directed Shakespeare
04:24or brilliantly interpreted Shakespeare.
04:26What we're looking for is a social event that fulfils the needs of the students taking part.
04:32And Anna Bagani needs fulfilling.
04:34Okay, Byron?
04:35Well, what do you think?
04:37I just can't believe she thinks I deliberately stole Jim from her.
04:41Just be grateful you didn't promise to get her the part of Juliet.
04:44Now, look here, Byron.
04:46I am the social secretary, and if you want student council funds,
04:50you'll just have to take my views into account.
04:52I'm going to have to talk to her, you know.
04:54Yeah, good idea.
04:55What will he say?
04:56Well, that there's nothing going on between me and Jim.
04:59Yet.
05:02Good morning, Mr. Lois.
05:04Oh, hello.
05:05Anything for me to worry about?
05:07Well, Callisto wants a status download at 1,100 hours.
05:11And Professor Breland's got a scrambled call at 0910.
05:15It's to Space Command, but I don't think he knows that.
05:19I know that.
05:20Look, I've got a friend in data processing.
05:24Oh, yes?
05:25Well, if you like, I could get him to...
05:27Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
05:28Really, I'd much rather hear it through official channels.
05:31Right.
05:32I'm a bit of a stickler for regulations.
05:36What do the regulations say
05:38about losing your port engine at 500 metres?
05:41Try not to crash on anybody.
05:44Well, not in so many words.
05:45No, no, but that is the gist of it.
05:47Look, I was lucky.
05:49That wasn't luck.
05:52Yes, yes.
05:53Well, I have to go and see Christoph now.
05:54A medic on.
05:55He's got some tests to do on my stupid eyes.
05:57Fimbo?
05:58Yes?
06:00Don't let them ground you.
06:04Believe me, the part was written for Dan, written especially.
06:08He still says he's not playing the Q show.
06:10No, lots of one-liners, fighting, bit of slapstick.
06:14Yeah, dies in act three, scene one.
06:16He's read the play, Byron.
06:17Nice to know someone else.
06:19Anyway, never mind about Daniel.
06:20What do I get?
06:22You, Jim, you get probably the most important role of all.
06:25Really?
06:26Without you, the play couldn't go on.
06:28Romeo.
06:29Stage manager.
06:30Oh, great.
06:32Anna, Anna.
06:33Before you say anything, there's something I've got to talk to you about.
06:36Now, I like Jim, right?
06:38But there's nothing going on between us.
06:40Absolutely nothing.
06:41I know you think you've seen us acting and laughing together, but...
06:45Kissing.
06:47Acting, Anna, acting.
06:49Acting, kissing, it's totally different from the other song.
06:53And if I had any idea that you and he were romantic...
06:55Look, he's got a girlfriend.
06:57Had it?
06:58At Space City.
07:00Her name's Juliet.
07:00Juliet.
07:01Oh, Juliet.
07:03It wasn't me I was thinking about, it was her.
07:05Yeah, well, that's fairly noble of you, Anna.
07:08But that's all right, because you didn't really like him like that, did you?
07:11Yeah.
07:14Now, you must remember that this is a holistic technique.
07:17The actual surgery is only one facet of the treatment.
07:20What's the rest?
07:21Well, the principal drug therapy will be DZ90, which, if you believe island 5, is a mutagen suppressant.
07:26Now, this will prevent further degeneration of the lens material.
07:31And how long will I have to be on this?
07:34Maybe forever.
07:35You're only the third subject, well, third human subject, but they've done quite a lot of work with hamsters.
07:41Oh, look, I don't believe in experiments on animals.
07:43Yeah, I know it's not nice, but you're not going to refuse treatment because of that.
07:49Okay, about side effects.
07:51Side effects?
07:52Now, they think it may be an immunodepressant, so you'll also be taking an HIV beta virus analog.
07:58Also, it may promote secondary glaucoma, so you'll need something else for that.
08:02I see.
08:02It gets worse.
08:04Normally, I'd bundle it all up in a subdermal implant.
08:07But?
08:07Island 5 want the option to vary the doses.
08:11It means continuous monitoring.
08:13So what is that, then?
08:14Once a week?
08:15Once a day.
08:17But it's better than going blind.
08:20Comsat 5 now available.
08:23Encrypted S-band channels are usable in addition to open microwave links.
08:28Petra, put a call through to Calista.
08:31Sir Thorley-Erik, European Space Commission, data processing section.
08:38Brelan.
08:39B-R-E-L-A-N.
08:43This is the Space Commission public interface.
08:45Please state which department you wish to contact.
08:48I wish to talk to Captain Johnson, Space Command.
08:51Captain Johnson is unavailable.
08:53What is the nature of your inquiry?
08:55Inquiry is in regards to the posting of Ilya flight crew.
08:59I am routing your call to personnel.
09:01I don't want to talk to personnel.
09:03Sheldon, what the hell are you with?
09:04Please hold.
09:08Your call is in a queue.
09:10Please hold.
09:11Your call will be answered as soon as possible.
09:14Three, four.
09:16Comfy?
09:17Not really, no.
09:19Okay, look straight ahead.
09:24What happens if I blink?
09:25Nothing.
09:26This is just a calibration test.
09:28The lasers are locked off.
09:29Oh.
09:31What about in the operation?
09:32Uh, your eyes will be taped open.
09:35Look up.
09:38What, for two hours?
09:40You won't notice.
09:41You'll be out the whole time.
09:43Left.
09:44The actual surgery only takes about, uh, two or three minutes.
09:50Look right, please.
09:51It's the, uh, it's the preparation that takes most of the time.
09:54Why is that?
09:56It's not an operation you can do twice.
09:58Mm-mm.
09:59Now hold still, please.
10:01There, Bull.
10:04Fine.
10:04Okay.
10:06You can relax now.
10:08When do we do it?
10:10Callisto orbit.
10:11We must have secure comms links with Ceres.
10:16Two days, then?
10:17Two days.
10:21Now listen carefully.
10:24I have spoken to personnel, to administration, to records, to maintenance,
10:31and to the department with special responsibility for cultural exchange program.
10:35Your core is being routed to personnel.
10:37Please hold.
10:38Petra, load security program, icebreaker.
10:42Warning.
10:43The use of this program, except in red alert emergency conditions,
10:47is illegal under section 15C of the Berlin Code.
10:51Petra, run program.
10:54Designate target.
10:56European Space Service, Callisto Base.
10:58Do you wish to disable the entire system?
11:01No, no.
11:02Just the reception subject.
11:05Icebreaker running.
11:08Your call is in a...
11:09in a...
11:10a...
11:11queue.
11:11Please hold.
11:12Please, please...
11:13Well done, Petra.
11:16Priority call to Captain Johnson.
11:18Code 612, Breland, Charles.
11:22We read you, Ilya.
11:24You'll have to bear with us.
11:25We're experiencing some problems with our computer.
11:27Oh, dear, I am sorry to hear that.
11:30Now put me through to Captain Johnson this minute.
11:32Oh, I think you're out of luck.
11:33I last saw him heading towards the Stardust with Captain Creasy.
11:37This is a priority call.
11:38Get him back.
11:46Captain.
11:46Professor.
11:47It's about Fimbo Lewis.
11:49I'm sorry to drag you away from your meeting.
11:51Lewis has been posted to pacify.
11:54Yes, yes, I know that.
11:55I've had a word with the Commodore on Moon Station,
11:58but I hope he can be persuaded to take advice from his own officers actually in Jupiter's system.
12:04I see.
12:05The thing is that Fimbo Lewis has extensive experience aboard the Ilya.
12:12He's proved himself an efficient and capable first officer.
12:16When Lieutenant Lewis was made up to temporary captain, you said, and I quote,
12:21I cannot allow a man of such low caliber to be placed in a position of such high responsibility.
12:25Yes, yes, but I may have underestimated his abilities.
12:28Professor, if you'll allow me to be blunt.
12:31By all means.
12:32Flight postings are the specific responsibility of Space Command.
12:37Now, you've made your position known,
12:39but it remains our considered opinion that Officer Lewis should be removed from flight duty.
12:45Your considered opinion?
12:47You're not here to have opinions?
12:49Your only purpose in life is to rubber stamp decisions taken by us,
12:53the people who actually get the work done.
12:55It's Carina which subsidizes your operation,
12:57and Deedlis practically pays for this college.
13:00I don't believe that this conversation is getting us anywhere, so...
13:03Don't you cut me off.
13:04Don't you dare cut me off.
13:05Now, listen to me, Johnson.
13:06If you cross me on this, I'll make sure you spend the rest of your days
13:09manning a ground station in Kazakhstan.
13:13Professor, whilst we in the service welcome input from the civilian authorities,
13:19in this case, the decision has been made.
13:21Now, I'm sure we both of us have more important things to attend to.
13:24Boozing in the stardust with Elliot Creasy.
13:28Ah.
13:30Thanks for reminding me.
13:48Oh, what's a nice pilot like you doing on a bridge like this?
13:53Keeping the seat, Ward.
13:54Nice work, if you can get it.
13:55Yeah, boring, then.
13:57God, you look terrible.
14:00Oh, no, actually, I've had a terrible sleep.
14:02Oh?
14:03Yeah.
14:04Nightmares about the accident.
14:06Ah.
14:07Oh, I don't know.
14:09More of a memory, really.
14:11Sitting, drinking coffee with Paul in the lounge.
14:14You're there, or Fimbo from Breca or someone.
14:18And I'm trying to tell him not to go out.
14:21Not to do an EVA.
14:23He just laughs at me.
14:26Stupid, really.
14:27And then?
14:29Then I wake up.
14:31Have you told anyone else about this?
14:32No.
14:33Charles?
14:34Definitely not.
14:35I don't want him to start worrying.
14:37Look, let's talk about something else, shall we?
14:40Sure.
14:41Who do you think is going to be the next first officer of the Iliad?
14:45Fimbo, of course.
14:46He's got Charles gunning for him.
14:50Why?
14:51What do you know?
14:52Well, as far as space commander concerned, Fimbo is grounded.
14:57Forever and ever, world without end, on me.
15:02In the round, perhaps.
15:04Yeah?
15:05Well, where are we putting it on?
15:07In the dome.
15:07Where did you think?
15:08Look, do you want this stage managed, or what?
15:10In the dome to start with.
15:12With a second performance at Space City.
15:15Well, I can't just fabricate a lot of scenery.
15:18And if we've got to transport it, too.
15:20Well, minimalist, then.
15:22Stratford, Ontario, 2033.
15:23I thought this was going to be a totally new staging.
15:26New out here, lovey.
15:28Not the 30s, please.
15:29What's wrong with the 30s?
15:31You mean apart from neon trousers and green skin dye?
15:34Look, lots of good things were happening then.
15:36Yeah.
15:36Tune in, drop out, and have a meaningful relationship with the Atlantic Ocean.
15:40My parents were bargees.
15:42That explains it.
15:43Yeah.
15:43You were lucky they didn't call you a whale song.
15:45Oh, come on.
15:47Were you really born on one of those barges?
15:49They were not barges.
15:50They were ocean-going catamarans.
15:52And no, my parents had left the commune before they had me.
15:55Look, this play does not have to be set in a specific period.
15:59It can be an amalgam of influences.
16:02What did happen to the bargees?
16:04Most of the boats got sank in a big storm.
16:06Look, what we have to do is strip this play down to its basics,
16:10find out what it's really about.
16:12Sex and violence?
16:14Not that basic, Fiona.
16:15Unrequited love?
16:16No, they love each other, Jim.
16:19But it's impossible.
16:22Doomed!
16:23There you go.
16:24Doomed love.
16:26That reminds me.
16:27Can I please talk to you about casting?
16:30Asilov?
16:31Asilov.
16:32Asilov!
16:33God, he really was mad.
16:34Do you remember her, the base commander,
16:36to come down and deconstruct our living quarters
16:38just to find out where he still was?
16:40He never did find it.
16:42No.
16:42God, I wonder what happened to him.
16:44He now owns the Moonshine Gin Company.
16:45No.
16:46Professor Brelin calling Comson.
16:49Petra.
16:50Drummond, I need another scramble link to Callisto.
16:53Fine.
16:54Hello, Charles.
16:56Shadies, what are you doing in Comson?
16:57Oh, the coffee's better up here.
16:59Is it really?
17:02Drummond, don't forget the scrambler link.
17:05But I promised her.
17:06Well, you shouldn't have, should you?
17:08Okay, let's start from the beginning.
17:10Why can't Anna play Juliet?
17:11Because she hasn't got the right qualities.
17:15Like what?
17:16Juliet has to be innocent.
17:19Anna's innocent?
17:20I can't think of anybody more innocent than Anna.
17:22But behind that innocence,
17:23there has to be a great wellspring of passion,
17:27a lust for life.
17:28Byron, Anna is in a bad emotional state right now.
17:31So?
17:32So giving her the part of Juliet would make her really happy.
17:35You do believe in making people happy, don't you?
17:37I believe in doing this play right.
17:40Anna just isn't capable.
17:41I promised her, though.
17:42She trusted me.
17:44Please, Byron.
17:46Do you realise what it's like
17:47when you promise something to someone
17:48and you can't deliver?
17:49It wasn't yours to promise.
17:51Oh, I'm going to look like a right in it.
17:53Only what you deserve.
17:55No, you're all hard.
17:56Byron.
18:02Sarah.
18:05Hello.
18:06How are you?
18:07And what have I done?
18:09What have you done?
18:11Look, Jim,
18:12if you want to two-time your girlfriend,
18:14then that's fine.
18:15But don't do it with me
18:16because I don't do that sort of thing, all right?
18:17Well, two-time who, for God's sake?
18:20Have you been me and Anna?
18:22Look, I'm nice to Anna because...
18:23No, Jim, I'm not talking about Anna.
18:25Well, who then?
18:26Jenny packed me in ages ago.
18:28Juliet?
18:29Juliet who?
18:30Oh, do me a favour.
18:31I don't know what you're talking about.
18:33Juliet!
18:34The one who spends lonely nights in Space City
18:36waiting for you to make orbit.
18:38Oh, Juliet.
18:39Oh, remember her now, do you?
18:40Yeah, that Juliet.
18:41Yeah.
18:42Well, all I can think of in mitigation
18:44is that you have spent the past two years
18:46in the company of Daniel Weatherby.
18:47Look, it's all right.
18:48She doesn't really exist.
18:50What?
18:51Juliet in Space City.
18:52Oh, I've never heard that one before.
18:54Oh, I made her up to get Anna Begani off my back.
18:57Guy, what are you doing?
18:59Oh!
19:00You can get the next one.
19:04You and Drummond.
19:05I want to know.
19:06What is wrong with you, Charles?
19:08Nothing is wrong with me.
19:09I merely want to know if there was anything between you and Drummond.
19:12When?
19:12On Luna?
19:12Well, of course on Luna.
19:13I thought he was a service to comment when I was a kid.
19:16But you didn't know him.
19:17Of course I knew him.
19:18It was a small bloody station.
19:19We all knew each other.
19:21You happy now?
19:23Are you?
19:24I don't know.
19:24Look, Charles.
19:26There was never anything between Bulldog and me.
19:28He was just a friend.
19:30And you are overreacting.
19:32Charles.
19:33Look.
19:34Is it because the commission turned down Thimbo?
19:36How do you know that?
19:38Never mind.
19:38It's Drummond, isn't it?
19:40He had contact.
19:41Well, why shouldn't I?
19:42Everywhere I turn, there's Drummond sticking his nose into my business.
19:46I'm just glad he isn't getting the post in his character.
19:48Arthur, that's why you wanted Thimbo, is it?
19:50Because you can bully Thimbo and not Bulldog.
19:52No, no.
19:53Because he might question your God-given right to run everybody's lives for them.
19:56No, calm down.
19:57You're off your head, Charles.
19:58You know that.
19:59Where do you think you're going?
20:00Away from you.
20:02When you finish sulking, you might like to look at things from my point of view for a change.
20:13Well, you handled that one well, didn't you?
20:20Anna.
20:21I have a problem.
20:23Is it something to do with the play?
20:25Absolutely.
20:26And I think you can help me.
20:27What's the problem?
20:29The problem is the nurse.
20:31The nurse?
20:32Not many people realize how pivotal the character of the nurse is.
20:37Oh, that nurse.
20:38The nurse is, if you like, the facilitator of the whole play.
20:41The sounding board for Juliet's emotions.
20:43As well as forwarding much of the action of the play.
20:46My problem is, is the part has to be played by someone with a certain sense of maturity.
20:52Maturity?
20:53I'm not on a physical sense, but on an emotional and spiritual plane as well.
20:58You see my problem?
20:59Not exactly, no.
21:01Well, who out of all of these students has enough of those qualities to carry off the role successfully?
21:06You're trying to say you need someone mature enough to play the nurse.
21:11Yes.
21:12But what you're really saying is that you don't want me to play Juliet.
21:14Ah.
21:14I'm not stupid, Byron.
21:16No.
21:16So who's playing Juliet?
21:17I haven't decided.
21:18Not finally.
21:19Just anyone rather than me.
21:20Look, I haven't decided, but I...
21:22Yes?
21:22I'd really appreciate it, as a favor, if you would understudy Juliet for me.
21:26All right!
21:28You know what, Anna, you'd really have a much better time if you learned to relax.
21:31I've tried.
21:32Every time I do that, I get kicked.
21:35I never said it was going to be easy.
21:41Yeah?
21:44I just don't know how much longer I can stand it.
21:47I really don't know what to suggest.
21:48It's also unpredictable.
21:49One moment everything's fine, the next minute he suddenly explodes as though it's all my fault.
21:53Mercedes.
21:54What would you suggest if I was one of your students?
21:57You don't want to know.
21:59Please, Crystal.
22:01Okay.
22:02I tell you to leave him.
22:09Open.
22:13Ah!
22:13Fimbo.
22:15Sit down.
22:16I'll be with you in a minute.
22:27Now, Fimbo.
22:30You do realize that in your application for renewed posting on the ILEA, there were several factors accounted against you.
22:38Such as?
22:38Your present medical condition, for one, less business with the cataracts.
22:42Christoph's explained to you about the operation.
22:44Yes, yes, yes.
22:44And I've told Space Command.
22:46The problem is, as I'm sure you know, the treatment is experimental.
22:50And they feel that a temporary ground assignment, close to good medical facilities, would be a wise precaution.
22:55Except it wouldn't be temporary, would it?
22:57Because once you're down, you stay down.
22:59No, not necessarily.
23:01And there are other factors consider this.
23:03This landing on ILEA.
23:04Now, if it were up to me, I'd have given you a commendation.
23:07But they don't see it like that.
23:08Oh?
23:08You flouted every safety regulation in the book.
23:11You endangered yourself and the shuttle.
23:13They've turned me down.
23:15In the end, I had to agree with their conclusions.
23:20I see.
23:21You were lucky to survive the ILEA landing.
23:23But I did survive it.
23:24That's not the point, though, is it?
23:26No.
23:27No, the point is that, like Elliot, I'm not to be trusted.
23:31I don't fit in with their patterns.
23:33I'm not one of them, not Sam.
23:35I'm sorry you see it like that.
23:37And I'm sorry you promised to help me, and I didn't.
24:30I'm sorry you promised to help me.
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