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TVTranscript
00:23In every age, in every place and time,
00:26one man has always stood out from the multitude.
00:31The solitary hero who embarks on an epic quest for glory.
00:37This is the story of such a man and such a quest.
00:59Since time immemorial, when the cry of four first echoed throughout the pristine landscape
01:05of the ancient world, the game of golf has been more than just a test of human skill.
01:13It has been a tale of courage and determination as the valiant warrior ventures forth to meet
01:19and grapple with an implacable foe in the lonely arena of personal combat.
01:25Dramatic battles between good and evil that will endure for as long as men tell stories
01:31and other men actually believe them.
01:36And no matter how much time goes by, it's still the same old story.
01:42A fight for love and glory, a case of do or die.
01:47And you can bet sooner or later you're going to be put to the test.
01:51A money match against a determined, sometimes vicious competitor.
02:02You jerked!
02:07A moron!
02:12Here's my card.
02:13I'm free three weeks from Saturday.
02:16Be there.
02:16Six thirty shots.
02:18Six thirty shots.
02:21Six thirty shots.
02:23Six thirty shots.
02:27Sister, can you break a hundred?
02:30Yes.
02:31Yes, I can.
02:32I'll tell you what.
02:33When you can break eighty, let me know and I'll play you for the whole basket.
02:44Did the Gulf Stream land yet?
02:47The what?
02:48Michael Jordan's plane, did it land yet?
02:51Well, I don't know.
02:52Well, no show, no match.
02:56Play or play.
02:57Looks like he's going to forfeit another five thousand.
03:00Oh, yeah.
03:02Pulled the same thing last month.
03:04Go figure.
03:05Yeah.
03:05Hey, look, will you give this to your boy, Larry?
03:08Tell him to stop driving that clunker.
03:10Gee, thanks.
03:12A thousand bucks.
03:14Hey, easy come, easy go.
03:18Tough luck about your match.
03:21Looks like we both got stood up.
03:23I'm Brad Van Cortlandt.
03:24Leslie Nielsen.
03:25Pleased to meet you, Leslie.
03:26Now, look, ironically, my match with the governor just got cancelled.
03:31Why don't we have a little game together and work off our disappointments?
03:34Hey, now, aren't you the club champion?
03:36I'd be no competition for you.
03:38I couldn't keep up with you.
03:39I'm a bad golfer.
03:41That, my friend, is the beauty of the handicap system.
03:44That's why golf is so popular.
03:46It's the game where bad golfers can beat good golfers.
03:51Really?
03:53But I don't need to tell you that.
03:54Oh, by the way, what is your handicap?
03:5618.
03:57Well, that's not so bad.
04:00Okay, 18 holes.
04:02I'll give you a stroke a hole, except on the par fives and, of course, the par threes.
04:06But you have to agree that at the end of the front nine, I have a chance to cut down
04:11on your strokes if you're beating me too badly.
04:15Anyway, you start at 18.
04:17Well, all right.
04:17That's very good of you.
04:18Yeah.
04:19Now, you look like a real player, the kind of red-blooded sportsman who likes a little action.
04:24What do you say?
04:24Just to keep things interesting, we play for $500 Nassau.
04:29But I gotta tell you, $500 is absolutely all that I can afford.
04:34You know, I never really understand these gambling things in golfers.
04:38Just tell me, how much can I lose?
04:40Well, if you win the front nine and the back nine, then you win the game.
04:43And you can win $1,500.
04:44But let's make that an even $2,000.
04:47Now, if I win the back nine and you win the front nine and they're even, then we break even.
04:52And obviously, on the ninth and 18th hole, you get to press your bet.
04:56But of course, if the nine I win is better than the nine you win, then I end up winning.
05:04Well, I see.
05:07Well, it's very interesting.
05:10Well, I can't tell you how delighted I am to be playing with a club champion.
05:14Maybe I'll pick up a few pointers.
05:21Oh, just about here.
05:23There you are, sister.
05:24Oh, there you go.
05:27You're a very generous man, Brad.
05:33Okay.
05:35Here we are.
05:38Here we go.
05:41Now, let me see.
05:42We've got this, what that Nassau thing, right?
05:45Michael Jordan and I like to have a few side bets just to keep the fun in the game.
05:49So, we'll have a $5 bill on Bahamas, a $5 on Guatemalas, then a five spot on Greenies, Perfies, Prunies.
05:57First on, then Bingle Bangle, around the corner, Hot Pepper, Runaway Home.
06:02What is this?
06:03Capture the flag?
06:05Ring Olivia?
06:06Pin the tail on the donkey?
06:07Look, are we going to play a real game of golf or not?
06:10Just having a little fun there, Brad.
06:12I'll tell you what.
06:13We'll do it for the first hole.
06:14And then if you don't like it, we'll do $10 on state capitals and $20 on Russian composers.
06:24Well, you're the club champion.
06:25You have the honors on the first tee.
06:34You know, excuse me.
06:36It's very rude of me.
06:37I just thought to put this kind of pressure on you.
06:39If it bothers you, I can go first.
06:41It doesn't bother me, pal.
06:43You're just being a gentleman, I can see.
06:45You're a little tense and tired.
06:46I can see the awkward way that you're holding your club there.
06:49No, honestly, I don't mind going first.
06:51Suit yourself.
06:53All right.
06:55Good.
06:55Still, you're the club champion.
06:57Clearly, you should have the honors on the first tee.
06:58Look, why don't you just go ahead and hit?
07:01I tell you what, we'll flip a coin.
07:05Let's see.
07:07You, uh...
07:08You got a coin in your pocket?
07:10I know what.
07:11We'll do hands behind the back, out or even, you know...
07:13Forget it!
07:14I am going to hit.
07:16Well, all right.
07:17Go ahead.
07:31Beautiful drive.
07:33Absolutely perfect.
07:36Well, that's five dollars you owe me.
07:38I hit a near perfect shot, and I owe you five dollars.
07:43We just made the bet.
07:44Remember, Perfies?
07:45Fine.
07:46Fine.
07:47Fine.
07:47Here is...
07:49Five dollars.
07:51Let's just run a tab from now on.
07:54Because that's how I hit him every time.
08:09Whoa!
08:11What a slice!
08:14Chiquita banana!
08:19Whoa!
08:23What a slice!
08:25Chiquita banana!
08:28Hey, there's no way a high handicapper like you can make that shot.
08:32Take a drop in the clear.
08:33It's only one penalty stroke.
08:35I wonder how much wind there is.
08:37What the hell difference does a wind make the way you play?
08:52Hey, wait a minute here.
08:54What's going on?
08:55What are you doing?
08:59What the?
09:01Right.
09:02It's a pruny.
09:03Here's a five.
09:05All right.
09:06I won't argue with you.
09:07It's a double pruny.
09:08Here's a ten.
09:18Well, well.
09:20Looks like you're first on.
09:21Yep.
09:22That'll be another fiver.
09:24No, I'm first on.
09:25You owe me the fiver.
09:26No, no, no, no.
09:27The bet is you get as close to the green as you can without getting on.
09:30Then you chip inside of each other's ball.
09:32But if you get on the green, then you lose.
09:35Of course, the good golfer's always going for the birdie.
09:37And that's why he always loses this bet, you see.
09:40Really good for your short game.
09:43Of course, he always loses on this kind of bet.
09:46It's a bet that balances out the difference between the bad golfer and the good golfer.
09:58Beautiful.
09:59Pot of birdie.
09:59Well, we're even steaming.
10:02Look, I'm going to make you a wonderful offer.
10:05Let's say I give you five bucks a hole for all these dumb little bets of yours and let's be
10:11done with them.
10:12There.
10:13Seventeen holes left times five is eighty-five bucks.
10:16Excuse me.
10:18Greenies.
10:19Prunies.
10:20Perfies.
10:21First on.
10:22Guatemala.
10:24Bahama.
10:25We got a potential here for several hundred dollars.
10:28That's right.
10:29All right.
10:30Let's make it an even hundred.
10:32No, there is two hundred.
10:35Now, let's cut all this crap and play some real men's golf.
10:55You all right?
10:56Fine.
10:57Fine.
11:00Let's just get on with it.
11:02You know that Louis XIV, the King of France, never bathed in his entire lifetime?
11:08Can you imagine how he smelled?
11:15Okay, Brad.
11:16Let it rip.
11:16You still have the honors.
11:17Thank you, pal.
11:19And you'd better get used to it because that's how it's going to be all day.
11:22Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
11:39All right.
11:39Cut it out now.
11:40Hold it down.
11:41Can you believe this?
11:42Clowns on a golf course?
11:43I'm shocked.
11:44Shocked.
11:45How dare you?
11:46We're playing a golf game here.
11:47Is this some kind of a kindergarten college fraternity gag?
11:52All right.
11:52Get out of here.
11:53Get moving.
11:54I'll show you a funny exit.
11:55Give me that driver.
11:56I'll wrap this around your neck in two seconds.
11:58Get going.
11:59Get out of here.
12:0310, 10, 10, 10.
12:16You ought to leave your names at the clubhouse.
12:19Get you in touch with a good music teacher.
12:23Right.
12:24Big, dumb, stupid joke.
12:27Big, dumb, stupid.
12:28Don't let me find out what your names are, I'll tell you that.
12:32I've...
12:33Ah, Brad, I'm really...
12:35I'm sorry, I can't handle this kind of thing the way you do, you know.
12:38I understand what the word quiet means to a fine golfer, to a golfer of your caliber.
12:43See, I know that your concentration is so pure, it compounds all of your senses.
12:49Especially the sense of hearing, you can hear even the smallest noise.
12:51I know what that saying means when you say, the fine golfer can literally hear a person changing their mind.
12:58In the next room.
13:01Right.
13:02Would you mind?
13:16I can't believe that.
13:27Go, boy, go, roll, roll, roll.
13:53Oh, Brad, the rake here.
13:55We'll get the rake.
13:56Will you shut up and stop moving?
14:02Well, you're still in my line of vision.
14:04Get behind me.
14:34Okay.
14:46Hey.
14:48Hey.
14:48Hey.
14:49Hey.
14:50Hey.
14:50Have you, eat it now?
14:51Yes.
14:51Yes.
14:54Oh, my God.
15:32You know, in the 16th century, King Philip II of Spain was laying siege to the seaport town, and his
15:39daughter Isabella swore that until the town fell, she would not change her underwear.
15:44It took three years for that town to fall. Can you imagine if she and Nobath-Louis XIV got together?
15:52What a dynamic duo they would have been.
15:59Pressure. How much can a player take before he breaks? Why do some golfers just snap like a twig and
16:07blow a good lead while others maintain a steely grip on their nerves through thick and thin?
16:12Call it concentration. Call it discipline. Call it Nagorno-Karabakh. Whatever it is. It's the quality that separates winners from
16:24losers. And separates losers from their money.
16:30Oh, hey. Brad, my caddy is a wizard in these greens. Bob, in the spirit of good sportsmanship, will you
16:38lend a helping hand?
16:40Putt breaks left to right.
16:41I don't know what the hell you're trying to pull, pal. I know this green. It breaks right to left,
16:47not left to right.
16:49Sorry. Left to right.
16:50Right to left.
16:51Well, now, Brad, is that your right or is it his? Because if it is your right, then you're right.
16:56But if it's his, then left to right is right, right?
16:59I mean, if you're standing this way, then it is your right. But if you're standing this way, then left
17:04to right is right. Right, Brad? Oh, right ahead. Right.
17:17Your left is short.
17:19Well, what difference does it make? Left to right, right to left, if you leave it short.
17:25Right.
17:28That's a four for three at birdie. I'm in the hole, so yours is a gimme.
17:41Come on, come on. Let's get going. I can see that bankroll just waiting to jump into my pocket.
17:48You're absolutely right. Slow play is the bane of golf. I tell you what, let's play a speed hole.
17:53Absolutely right.
17:56Speed hole.
17:57Speed hole.
17:58Best play, right?
17:59Right.
18:00Right.
18:01Speed hole.
18:04Okay.
18:06Speed hole. Speed hole.
18:09Speed hole.
18:09Oh, my God.
18:39Oh, my God.
19:10I wonder what happened to him.
19:12Well, it's not easy picking up the mack or playing a speed hole.
19:15Tell me about it.
19:21The golf swing has been endlessly analyzed, and yet it still remains a mystery.
19:28And only one secret has emerged, one swing thought that always works.
19:33And that thought is, don't think.
19:36But you can't just forget not to think.
19:38You must remember not to remember to think.
19:41And you must not remember that you forgot to remember.
19:45It's a lot not to think about.
19:47But even if you sometimes forget not to forget not to think about your swing, there are ways to help
19:53your opponent remember to think about his.
20:05I am swinging like a rusty gate.
20:07I've got no timing, no rhythm.
20:11Well, I ever wish I had your swing.
20:15Brad, would you mind...
20:17Do we have the camcorder?
20:18Always.
20:19Brad, would you mind...
20:20I hope this is not an imposition, but I'd like to film your swing.
20:24You have the most incredible swing I've ever seen.
20:26Now, you have the precision of a Tom Watson.
20:28You've got the steadiness of a Jack Nicklaus.
20:31The awesome power of Peter Oosterhuis.
20:32John Daly.
20:34John Daly.
20:35Really, you know, I'd like to have a record of it so I can study it myself.
20:38Well, I guess that would be okay.
20:42All right, good.
20:44Hold it.
20:45Just a minute.
20:46You want to take a look at this?
20:48Look at that stance.
20:51Perfection.
20:53And the grip-a-thing-a-beauty.
20:58Bad Cortland Swing.
21:00Take one.
21:02All right, hold it.
21:03Hold it.
21:03All right.
21:05We're rolling.
21:06All right, action.
21:11Hey, you...
21:12What?
21:13I'm a little out of focus.
21:14I'm sorry.
21:15I'm sorry.
21:16Oh, Brad.
21:18Oh, you were wonderful.
21:19Just great.
21:20What a beautiful drive.
21:22Look, now, Brad, you're out there now, so...
21:24But would you do me a favor?
21:25Could you, uh...
21:26Could you just do some practice swings?
21:28Please, for me.
21:29For Michael Jordan.
21:30Huh?
21:30All right.
21:31Okay, good.
21:33Action.
21:34No, no, no, Brad.
21:36Brad, you're all wrong.
21:38What's the matter with that?
21:39No, no.
21:40No, you're great.
21:41It's just that I think that you're thinking too much, you know.
21:43Let yourself go.
21:44Don't swing the club.
21:45Let the club swing you.
21:47Right.
21:50Take four.
21:54Take nine.
21:58Take 21.
22:0135.
22:0348.
22:07Now, Brad, you're not bringing the club up as high as it normally does.
22:09You feel that, don't you?
22:11Oh, again.
22:12Again.
22:14A superb natural swing.
22:16I've never seen anything like it.
22:17Beautiful.
22:19Absolutely fabulous.
22:23You all right?
22:25Fine.
22:26I'm fine.
22:36Brad, you were just wonderful back there in front of the camera.
22:39Did you ever think about having an acting career, you know?
22:41To be or not to be?
22:44To put it hard, to put it soft.
22:46That is the question.
22:48To roll the pallid sphere, not knowing where perchance it may ripple.
22:55Oh, base, vile green, that hath such breaks upon it.
23:02Why dost thou punish men with such deceptive signs?
23:09In, in, sweet sphere and flights of angels, speed thee to thy hole.
23:21Thou rude and feckless blob of rubber stuff, how canst thou come so close and still not fall?
23:31Will you shut up?
23:34No, I don't want an acting career.
23:37I hate actors.
23:38I've never seen an actor who could golf for beans anyway.
23:43Now, Brad, I didn't mean anything by that.
23:46It's just that back there, I thought you did a wonderful job of acting.
23:50I'm not an actor, I'm a golfer.
23:53And a damn good one, too.
23:54And after today, you'll remember my performance long after the Academy Awards are dead and buried.
24:08Uh, Brad, I didn't realize that you were so sensitive.
24:12It's a game.
24:13You can't really let a game take you over, you know.
24:15The game never takes me over, pal.
24:18But on your next trip to the bank, you'll find out how much it takes you over.
24:22Now, let's get on with it.
24:30You, uh, all right?
24:32You sure didn't have a good line on that putt, Brad.
24:35Is that my marker?
24:36Yes, sir.
24:37Okay.
24:41All right.
24:42That's a four for a three.
24:43Best you can do is a par, Brad.
24:59It has been said that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
25:05So it must follow, then, that roses are red and violets are blue, and I'm a schizophrenic,
25:11and so am I.
25:17A man of average stature with nothing but a cape, a sword, and a pair of cojones,
25:24fights and kills a huge rampaging bull weighing as much as a half a ton.
25:28Now, how is that possible?
25:29Of course, it takes courage, daring, bravado.
25:32But most of all, it requires the ability to understand the nature of the beast you're
25:36dealing with.
25:37If you can see into his mind, it doesn't matter how big he is or how hard he charges.
25:42He will be putty in your hands.
25:44It's all a matter of knowing what makes your opponent tick.
25:54Time to apply the repellent.
25:56Great, Scott, I forgot.
25:57This is the hole, isn't it?
25:59Yeah.
26:00What is that stuff?
26:04Dionestydethylene.
26:05You better go ahead and spray yourself, too.
26:07This is the only surefire protection against a death-head tick.
26:11The what tick?
26:12The deaths.
26:14Didn't you check the bulletin board back at the club?
26:16This is what they recommend.
26:18It's a small, biting bug about the size of a period at the end of a sentence.
26:23Ioxides, uh, uh...
26:25Domeni.
26:26Ioxides, Domeni.
26:27Under a microscope, the shape of its back is like a skull, which is why they call it the
26:32death-head tick.
26:33Well, isn't that great?
26:35They must have a wonderful time at Halloween.
26:38You don't have any repellent?
26:39No.
26:41Uh...
26:42Sorry, we're empty.
26:45We better skip the hole.
26:46Not on your life, pal.
26:49There's no way you're gonna be able to say this wasn't an official 18-hole match.
26:56You wanna quit?
26:57You forfeit the match, you lose the base.
27:00Hey, look, look.
27:00You go right ahead.
27:02We're the ones who are protected.
27:04You're not.
27:07What happens when one of these things bites you?
27:09It's on the bulletin board back at the clubhouse.
27:12High fever, seizures, paralysis, gangrene, short-term memory loss.
27:17They even suspect that the tick is a carrier of leprosy.
27:25Just a minute, hold on.
27:28Now, right up there, by that tall tree, just to the left of it.
27:33You see that little dark cloud?
27:34That's a tick swarm.
27:35No.
27:36Right up there.
27:36I don't see it.
27:37Just to the right-hand side of the tall tree.
27:39Ow!
27:39I had something.
27:40What is it?
27:40An ear.
27:41It was a swarm of them right by his head.
27:44Here, get back.
27:45What am I, something in my ear?
27:47Hold on, hold on.
27:49That would be the worst place to get one of those ticks in that ear canal.
27:53Are you sure?
27:54Positive.
27:55Well, that, that, that does it.
27:57We'll skip the hole.
27:58Oh, no you don't.
28:00I'll tee off from the blues.
28:02There's no way you're gonna get out of this match.
28:10Go ahead, it's your funeral.
28:12Um, where are these ticks likely to be?
28:15Under the trees?
28:17They can be all over.
28:18Just hope that they're not around your ball.
28:20It's the repellent that keeps them away.
28:23Now, look, if you're gonna play your ball,
28:25get out of here fast, get your club fast,
28:28get over there fast, hit fast,
28:30and don't pick up a divot,
28:31and don't knock any dust up on the air
28:33because you'll knock thousands of them up in the air all over your body.
28:41Look, if you want to quit, that's up to you,
28:42but you insisted playing this hole, you know,
28:44so it'll be a forefoot.
28:47No way, buster.
29:13I feel like they're all over me.
29:18What do these things look like?
29:20Like, uh, little brown spots, freckles.
29:23Oh, my God.
29:25There's one, and another,
29:26and here's one here, my God.
29:28Calm down, calm down.
29:30See if they're moving.
29:31If they're not moving,
29:32then they're dust, specks, or freckles.
29:34Unless they burrowed underneath your skin,
29:36then they'll have a little tail sticking out,
29:38or maybe it'll look like a hair.
29:40What?
29:41Tell you the truth, he's got a lot of hair on his arm.
29:44Yeah, he sure does.
29:45I knew we shouldn't have played this hole.
29:49What did we stop for?
29:50It's your ball out there.
29:52The second shot didn't go too far.
29:55Got him.
29:56Got him.
30:04Forget about the ball.
30:06Just drive on.
30:07What, are you quitting?
30:08No way.
30:09I'm just conceding the hole.
30:11I'm not forfeiting the game.
30:13We still have an official match.
30:15All right, fine.
30:27Zen Buddhism, the ancient Japanese spiritual tradition,
30:32is filled with paradoxes, puzzles, contradictions.
30:37Does a tree that falls unnoticed in the forest make a noise?
30:42What is the sound of one hand clapping?
30:45Or one mind snapping?
30:48The proud man of skill is defeated by the inspired ineptitude of the clown.
30:53Or as the great 12th century poet Sushi Toro says,
30:58Toro moguro hamachi-saki,
31:02uni uanagi yakatori sukiyaki.
31:06Translated,
31:07never give a sucker an even break.
31:24What the?
31:25He's going to the woman's teeth.
31:27He goes a little haywire now and then.
31:30Thinks he's Lizzie Borden.
31:32He's got a steel plate in his head, you know.
31:34Old war wound.
31:36Look, to keep this thing even,
31:39you can tee off from up there, too.
31:43I got this little cocktail number here,
31:46and believe me, it's you.
31:48I'm not gonna wear a stupid dress.
31:50Okay, suit yourself.
31:51No skin off my nose.
31:54But humor him.
31:55He can get violent.
31:58I once saw him beat a professional wrestler to a pulp.
32:01With his purse.
32:06Yeah!
32:09Hee-hee!
32:15Okie-dokie.
32:18I can't believe it.
32:20I can't believe it!
32:23I can't believe I hit my...
32:25I hit it in the water.
32:27I can't believe I drove the green.
32:31Ed, look, you almost hit it.
32:34Well, you'd have to be a very gifted golfer to get that ball out of there.
32:37I don't even think Jack Nicklaus could get that ball out.
32:39It would require monumental skill.
32:41Not just skill. We take genius.
32:44Now, you're a very gifted golfer yourself, Brad,
32:46but I don't think that you have the power to execute that shot.
32:51But, of course, if you can hit the ball and put it on the green,
32:54then go for the birdie and make it, then you might win the hole.
32:59But no, no, I think it would be impossible.
33:01Well, I don't know about that.
33:04If you can make that shot,
33:07that will go down as the greatest shot in golf history.
33:11Well, get ready to see history made.
33:45Appearances are often deceiving.
33:47Things are not always what they seem.
33:50You may think that you have a clear vision of reality,
33:53but the mind can play tricks on you.
33:56And the easiest people to fool are fools already.
34:00All right.
34:01We are going to get one thing straight right now.
34:04From now on, we are going to play normal, proper golf.
34:09And we're playing strictly by the rules.
34:12And I'm doubling my bet.
34:14And from now on, I'm keeping score.
34:18I always play by the rules.
34:20Now, when you say that you're going to play strictly by the rules,
34:23do you mean all the rules?
34:25You can bet your safety deposit box that's what I mean.
34:29We're going to play by all the rules.
34:33Absolutely.
34:34All the rules.
34:35Play by all the rules.
34:40You hackers.
34:41You think you play golf by the rules?
34:44You don't even know what they mean.
34:46You don't play golf.
34:48You play flog.
34:49That's golf spelt backwards.
34:55Delay of game.
34:56Five-yard penalty.
35:04You touch my ball one more time, and I'm going to...
35:10Unsportsmanlike conduct.
35:14Fifteen yards.
35:15You miserable excuse for a caddy.
35:18I am going to wring your neck.
35:22Any continuation of this type of behavior, mister,
35:25and I'm sending you to the shower.
35:27If you wish to quit,
35:31you lose the match and forfeit the bet.
35:36Quit.
35:37Forfeit.
35:38No pruny, greeny way, buster.
35:57Unnecessary rushes!
36:00Freakhead!
36:14Illegal motion, 10 yards
36:24Thump the throw shot
36:46If Van Cortland can sink this pot
36:48It will certainly be one of the greatest comebacks in the history of golf
36:53Van Cortland has a 35 foot pot
36:55It's going to break to the right, then to the left
36:57So the direction must be perfect
36:59And the speed of the putt must be perfect
37:02If he putts the ball too hard, it will go past the hole
37:07If he putts it too softly, then it will come up short
37:10Of course, if he putts it hard and to the right
37:12Then he will go past on the right past the hole
37:15If it should be on the left, then he will go left past the hole
37:19And then continue left
37:20Because it's a double break in the green from right to left
37:24If Van Cortland makes the putt, he'll go one up
37:27That will put a lot of pressure on Nielsen
37:29If he were being paid a salary, he'd certainly earn it here
37:38Yes!
37:41Van Cortland makes the putt and wins the hole
37:52You can't predict when and where the decisive moment in any battle will occur
37:58But you know it when you see it
38:00The final test, the critical moment
38:02There's a sudden rush of adrenaline
38:04The overwhelming urge to go behind a bush
38:09And answer nature's age-old call to arms
38:12And in that final accounting
38:15When we are put on the scales and weighed and shrink-wrapped and competitively priced
38:20When our scorecards are added up
38:24Will we be able to say
38:26Thereby God went a man to be reckoned with
38:29A man of whom it might be said
38:31In the memorable words of that immortal poet
38:34To strive
38:36To seek
38:39To something, something, something
38:41And not to yield
38:54You call ahead about the mongoose?
38:56Yeah, it'll be waiting for us at the green
38:58We can feed it then
39:00Well, we'd better
39:01We should have fed it an hour ago
39:03I hope nobody's fiddling with that cage
39:05You remember what happened in Florida?
39:07Oh, yeah
39:07It was born all over
39:11Mongoose?
39:12Yeah, fastest animal in the world
39:14We use it to kill snakes
39:15It's like a cross between a Tasmanian devil and a wolverine
39:18You know about a wolverine
39:20It'll take food from a lion
39:21It's got jaws on it like a hyena
39:23It can crush bones
39:25It goes straight for the juggler vein all the time
39:27It's so fast
39:28They call it the merciful killer
39:30It's so fast that it's over before you know it hits you
39:35Okay
39:41Yeah, yeah, you feed whatever you want to feed
39:44Just remember we gotta press
39:45Double or nothing
39:46Glove
39:48What time is it?
39:49It's late
39:50Yes, it is late
39:51He should have been fed a long time ago
39:53He's gonna have a voracious appetite
39:56Please, please, please
39:57Now listen
39:59This is a very dangerous animal here
40:02Look at the claw
40:03Bob
40:05You'll keep the boy back
40:06This is no place for kids
40:07I'm sorry
40:10Now look
40:11I'd rather you weren't here
40:13But if you want to watch
40:14Then stay back
40:15And be quiet
40:17It's the fastest animal in the world
40:19They use it for killing snakes
40:21And this is a very dangerous time
40:23This is feeding time
40:24And he's hungry
40:25Got the meat?
40:33If he should get out
40:35Just turn and run as fast as you can
40:39This is 15 pounds of beef
40:40It's got a bone in it
40:42If he's hungry
40:43He'll go through this in 15 seconds
40:46Including the bone
40:48Don't call him the prairie piranha for nothing
40:52Mommy
40:53What's going on?
40:55I've never done that before
40:56We should have fed him sooner
40:58I'll go back and get more meat
41:00I saw a side of beef in the kitchen
41:02Maybe if we threw a blanket over
41:05Blanket?
41:05You need a cyclone fence
41:07Let me try to give him a little meat first now
41:10Okay, fella
41:12All right
41:15Okay, all right
41:18We are and we are live
41:20The boat goes in the 온
41:24The boat goes in the 온
41:26The boat goes in the 온
41:28The boat goes
41:54Hold it right here, fellas.
41:56Sister, Mr. Van Cortlandt has asked me to give this money to you.
42:00Is that right, Brad? Brad, is that right?
42:04Thank you. The children thank you.
42:06Thank you? Thanks, fellas.
42:07Bless you. Bless you.
42:18Fine golfer.
42:29A man brought low by his inner flaws, his overweening pride,
42:35his stubborn belief in his own invincibility.
42:39The Greeks had a word for it.
42:42Peripetes.
42:43A sudden reversal of fortune.
42:46A fall of a haughty man at the hands of fate.
42:50Yes, those whom the gods wished to destroy,
42:54they first teach how to play golf.
42:58And what can we learn from this epic tale?
43:01If we do not study history,
43:02can we study some simpler course instead,
43:05like Spanish?
43:08Or auto repair?
43:10Or like Oedipus, who killed his father and married his mother?
43:13Back in the days when family values were more than just an empty phrase.
43:19Are we doomed to ponder the Sphinx's timeless question?
43:24Answer me, O foolish mortal.
43:27What is this?
43:32Only to return once again to the age-old answer,
43:36I do not know, but here it comes again.
44:10I do not know.
44:11To return once again to in collegiate,
44:12what do you belong to the songs of God?
44:15I do not know.
44:28I show you the songs of God.
44:29I promise you the songs of God как톡 sênx!
44:30I boy cheer
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