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00:00:00the diamond life it's waiting it's waiting for you to be one of the few who reach the top with
00:00:20the right knowledge skill and direction you'll make it and that is what this diamond life video
00:00:27series is all about equipping you to be a winner to reach the top listen carefully take good notes
00:00:34and never ever stop trying to reach the diamond life now let's join author educator and gifted
00:00:43trainer Steve Shapiro as he teaches on listening for success remind reinforce refine
00:00:57and reveal I'm gonna remind you of things that you already know but may have forgotten for example
00:01:05what it's like to be a prospect I've got this theory that a lot of network marketers once they get into
00:01:13the business forget what it was like to be a prospect I'm sure of it because if they remembered they
00:01:19wouldn't be approaching prospects the way that they do now I know what it's like to be a prospect
00:01:25because I'm a big prospect I get I've had more network marketing presentations than just about
00:01:32anybody somebody calls me and asked me if I want to hear about their network marketing company I say
00:01:36yes and man have I heard some presentations I've heard two good ones out of about a hundred one was
00:01:46John K Lynch surprise surprise right and another was a guy from another from a nutritional company
00:01:55too the rest of them talk too much so I'm gonna remind you of things that you already know but may
00:02:04have forgotten like what it's like to be a prospect I'm gonna reinforce for you things that you do now
00:02:08that work but after today you'll say now I know why that worked I'm gonna do it more so reinforce I'm
00:02:17gonna refine for you your present listening skills because every person in here is a listener you cannot
00:02:23not listen right you cannot not listen we spend more time listening than any other activity except
00:02:34breathing so the question is not whether you listen it's how well you listen and fourth I'm gonna
00:02:39reveal reveal ideas new concepts a new methodology that you might not have heard of before for how
00:02:46to become a better listener Trish was up here talking to you about how important it is how critical it is you
00:02:54know how important listening is but the question is how do I become a better listener in the next hour you
00:03:01will if you try the techniques the method the model that I'm going to teach you you will become a better
00:03:07listener starting today that's my promise now when I ask audiences all over the country what's the function
00:03:18of a business what do you think most of them say when I what's the function of a business to make money that's
00:03:23right and that's what I thought too when I was first asked that question the function of a business is to make
00:03:28money but Trish was talking about the real function of the business the real function of a business I
00:03:35learned from Peter Drucker management and business guru of the century he said no the function of a
00:03:40business is not to make money the function of a business is to get and keep customers the goal of a
00:03:48business is to make money now that's a really important distinction in fact it's the most important
00:03:54business principle I've ever learned the goal of a business is to make money but the function of a
00:03:59business is to get and keep customers now Peter Drucker said if you get those two confused you go out of
00:04:05business you go out of business if you get the function and the goal confused and that's what Trish
00:04:10was talking about this business is about service it's about providing value and when you do that
00:04:15when you create that kind of value then the money comes as an indirect result let me give you an example
00:04:21several years ago I was living in San Diego down in Pacific Beach and I was writing my first book
00:04:29it's called the art of professional serving it's a book about hospitality customer service in the
00:04:34restaurant industry and I was sitting at home and the mailman came and I went to the mailbox and got
00:04:39there was a coupon in the mail from a seafood restaurant about half a mile down the road from me
00:04:44it was called Hana Seafood and it said complete swordfish dinner salad swordfish and rice
00:04:50795 I thought that sounds like a good deal never been Hana Seafood I called him up I said I'd like
00:04:56swordfish dinner to go it's gonna bring it home keep working on my book so I go down to Hana Seafood
00:05:03he says it'll be ready in 20 minutes so far so good 15 minutes later I walk into Hana Seafood put my
00:05:11coupon on the counter I say I'm the guy that ordered the swordfish dinner he looks at me and he says well
00:05:16you didn't tell me when you called that you had a coupon and I said well what difference does it make
00:05:24and he says and I quote we don't serve the same kind of fish to people with coupons now what what would
00:05:34you do at that point right now that's what most people would do but I didn't because that's how I get
00:05:43material for my speeches and seminars I stick it out you know I want to see what's going to happen
00:05:50plus I thought maybe I'll get a story for my book which I did because I said instead of getting angry
00:05:55I got curious because he said well we don't serve the same kind of fish to people with seafood with
00:06:02with coupons and I said well really what kind of seafood or what kind of fish do you serve to people
00:06:08with coupons and he said we serve something not quite as fresh or closer to the tail I said well
00:06:17what would you like to do now he said well I'll either you can either pay an extra three dollars or
00:06:24I'll put on a new piece of fish for you and I guess by new piece of fish he meant old piece of fish
00:06:30yeah or something closer to the tail but I could see my piece of fish cooking on the grill behind him it
00:06:37was the only piece and I knew what swordfish looked like and plus I was the only customer in there
00:06:41and what a surprise and I said what are you going to do with that piece of fish and he said and I
00:06:47quote I'll either eat it myself or throw it away now you see that's kind of an extreme example but
00:06:54also a true story of a guy who got the goal and the function of a business confused he thought that
00:07:00the function of his business was to make money and in his little pea brain right he thought that
00:07:07he just made three dollars or saved three dollars for the owner of the restaurant the guy happened to
00:07:12be the manager by the way he thought that he did well because he got the goal and the function confused what
00:07:22he didn't know is that I went back put his story in my book first chapter if you're ever in San Diego
00:07:27and you want some seafood don't go to Hana seafood 30,000 people bought that book about 50 to 100,000
00:07:37read it and then I told another 50,000 plus there's another 600 here so 50,600 people if you're ever in
00:07:44San Diego and you want some seafood don't go to Hana seafood so about 130,000 people heard about that
00:07:51place from one customer and all that advertising only cost him three dollars see he got the function
00:08:04and the goal confused it's about getting the function of a business is about getting is getting and keeping
00:08:10customers that's the function of any business including network marketing now your customers
00:08:16getting and keeping customers are both people who buy your products and they're also people who become
00:08:22distributors because the people who become distributors in your downline are also your
00:08:27customers and they should be treated like customers not like customers that hunt a seafood but like
00:08:33customers should ideally be treated respect concern caring so if the function of a business is to get and
00:08:40keep customers the question for today is how do I get and keep more customers how do I get and keep more
00:08:48customers and you know we could do three days on that and so could David Rolf and so could John K Lynch he
00:08:56don't even need notes I've got about an hour to share with you the in my opinion after 10 years of training and
00:09:09teaching salespeople doing sales consulting going out in the field with salespeople from everything
00:09:14from from startup companies to fortune 100 companies I started to see that they their biggest mistake that
00:09:21they all had in common was that they talk too much they don't listen enough and I started to teach
00:09:27listening skills and I've been teaching listening skills for about eight years and I finally wrote a
00:09:31book about it and people ask me how long did it take to write that book well one answer is it took me 38
00:09:36years because I'm 38 years old it took me that long to learn what I needed to do but what I when I sat
00:09:42down it just poured out it just poured out real fast because it was time for it to be born and that's
00:09:49what I'm going to share with you the single most important and in my opinion skill for getting and keeping
00:09:57customers Trish talked about it a lot it's listening it's listening but how do we do it about
00:10:06five years ago I was in Atlanta and I was doing sales training for a company called Bell South
00:10:14communication systems and I stayed for three weeks and so I got to stay over the weekend and while I
00:10:20was there on a weekend I thought I'd go shopping to buy a gift for my wife she wanted a black dressy
00:10:27sport watch and so I went to the Linux Square shopping center which was at the time the largest indoor shopping
00:10:34mall in the country and I found a jewelry store called Bailey Banks and Biddle now I walked into
00:10:40Bailey Banks and Biddle and I started looking for a watch and I found one that I liked it was a Movado
00:10:45sport watch and it was really beautiful and it cost about five hundred dollars and I was thinking should
00:10:51I shouldn't I should I shouldn't I I thought you know if she doesn't like it I don't know what I'll do
00:10:57because I live in San Diego and we don't have Bailey Banks and Biddle there so I decided not to get it
00:11:04about two to three weeks later I'm back in San Diego we're at Fashion Valley shopping center it's
00:11:10Valentine's week and we're walking through the shopping center and I said to my wife I said let's
00:11:14go in this jewelry store see if they have this watch that I almost bought you see if you like it so we
00:11:24walk in walk up to the jewelry case and sure enough there's the exact same watch the guy behind the
00:11:30jewelry case says can I help you I said yes we'd like to see this watch he takes it out I put it on
00:11:34my wife's wrist and Gwen could you bring that flip chart that's right outside that door could you
00:11:41bring it up here please thanks I walk up I put it on my wife's wrist and she's looking at it and I said
00:11:49what do you think honey do you like the watch well she looks at it and she says yeah I like it which
00:12:02means no I hate it right in wife language the words are the same but the meaning is different that's why
00:12:15we have to be a good listener that's why I wrote my book I didn't learn wife language which is why
00:12:20I'm no longer married but I thank you no I think that's funny now but but the truth is that we teach
00:12:33we learn we teach what we most need to learn isn't that true and teaching something is the best way to
00:12:39learn and I wanted to be a better listener I had too many failed relationships conflicts lost sales
00:12:47and I was tired of it now I wanted to be a better listener so I wrote a book about it I guess that
00:12:54makes me an expert on listening except that I only do what I wrote about in the book about 50% of the
00:13:01time that I wish I did because listening is hard work M Scott Peck told me that he was listening so
00:13:09hard to a speaker that he began to sweat it's hard work it really is so Gwynn could you also bring what
00:13:20do I do without you Gwynn could you bring that black bag please it has my markers in it wife language the
00:13:28words are the same but the meaning is different now what does that mean you know when I'm talking
00:13:33to people about listening and I ask them what gets in their way one of the things that a lot of people
00:13:38tell me is this bad listening habits they say I finish people's sentences for them I guess you can relate
00:13:47to that or or they say even if I don't finish it out loud I'm finishing it in my head I already know
00:13:52what they're gonna say how many of you have had that experience yeah I'm getting 100% there I
00:13:59already know what they're gonna say and you know what a lot of the time you do you do already know
00:14:05what they're gonna say but my response to this woman that I was talking to about it the other day
00:14:09was you might you might know what they're gonna say but you don't know what they mean you don't know
00:14:17necessarily what they mean and even if you do know what they're gonna say if you finish their
00:14:23sentence that does not help them you think well I'm in a hurry here they talk too slow I can think
00:14:29at 450 words a minute they can only speak at 125 there's a big gap there I'll fill it in doesn't
00:14:36help in fact it does just the opposite but even if you do know what they're gonna say you don't know
00:14:40what they mean on your notes they're just turn on your handout just turn it over for a minute write
00:14:44these words down usually and then under usually write never then many then always never many always
00:15:07now next to each word I'd like you to put a number between zero and 100 that represents what
00:15:16that how many that word represents to you for example if one of the words up here was few tell
00:15:24me your name again Glenn Glenn how many is a few three so you'd put three next to it all right that's
00:15:31what I'd like you to do for each of these numbers usually never many and always just quickly put a
00:15:37number does everybody understand let's put a number next to it well a few means three to him so he put
00:15:45three next to it Glenn how many is is is usually to you so he puts a 20 by whatever it means to you
00:16:07okay now what I'd like you to do is just yell out how many what you put next to usually anybody everybody
00:16:19do I hear lower than 85 50
00:16:26okay how many is never ah does anybody have anything other than zero one what else who else how many two
00:16:43four five uh okay how about many
00:16:50you guys have a real participation problem here
00:16:58John you didn't you should have warned me I they don't participate many 75 how do I hear less than 50
00:17:0620 20 okay how about always how many is that a hundred okay but who has something besides a hundred
00:17:19ten thirty five zero zero zero zero who else had four four four
00:17:28did what's happening here to get my point I mean always is always isn't it it meets a hundred
00:17:39doesn't never mean never never would be zero right except that some people put one or two for
00:17:52never are they weird no what's going on here what what why is this happening do you think anybody yeah
00:18:05the scale was the same for everyone zero to a hundred right
00:18:12you didn't hear that didn't hear those instructions different perceptions of what the scale means
00:18:19okay yeah yeah there's some wife language in there that's right the words are the same but the meaning
00:18:29is different for everyone there's some husband language it all depends on your point of view
00:18:35right so my first principle okay first principle of listening success is that other people don't see
00:18:48the world the way you see it and this is a big lesson in life isn't it I mean if everybody else saw the
00:18:57world the way you saw it wouldn't things be so much simpler I mean they'd always be right wouldn't
00:19:03they just like you just like me other people don't see the world the way you and I see it we listening
00:19:12is about seeing the world from the other person's point of view seeing the world through their eyes
00:19:19because if you can sell if you can see the world through another's eyes you can sell that person what
00:19:26that person buys so that's the first principle of effective listening is that other people don't
00:19:33see the world the way we do so she says yeah I like it and the guy behind the counter says well guess what
00:19:44it's on sale today Valentine's sale 10% off it's only 450 she's looking at it I said what do you think
00:19:52honey do you want to watch and she's he says wait a minute I'll be right back he goes away for about
00:19:5915 seconds I mean he was quick goes over to the manager comes back and says guess what another 10% off
00:20:05the manager okayed it only $400 I said I was gonna pay 500 for do you do you want to watch she takes
00:20:13it off and hands it to him and says no thanks and walks out I'm right behind her he's right behind
00:20:20me with his calculator going wait a minute I can get another 5% off you know and we walk out the door
00:20:26now question what did that salesperson not do he didn't find out what she wanted what else did he
00:20:36not do what he didn't hear what she was really saying what else did he not do offer her anything
00:20:45else what else he didn't listen right he didn't ask any questions did he didn't create value what
00:20:54else did he not do he didn't show her another watch what else you're missing the big one here
00:20:58he who said that he didn't make the sale what's your name sir huh he didn't make the sale that's
00:21:11right because he didn't listen thank you give him a hand for that he didn't make the sale
00:21:18now we went and got her that watch at another jewelry store do you know why she didn't like the
00:21:26watch well she didn't like the band right so I said to her then why didn't you just ask for another
00:21:40band she said because I didn't like the salesperson people want to do business with people that they
00:21:47like and people like people who care about them and people know that you care about them if you
00:21:57listen to them because listening is how you show someone you care you might care about me but I will
00:22:05never know it if you don't listen to me and he didn't listen and the reason he didn't listen is
00:22:11because what do you have to do before you listen right yeah that's that's one thing stop talking
00:22:20ask questions right he didn't use Shapiro's two-step formula for sales success insert the word network
00:22:28marketing Shapiro's two-step formula for sales success ask listen ask listen ask listen that's not six
00:22:38steps that's two steps repeated three times ask listen now see most sales people use the Shapiro's
00:22:45two-step formula for sales failure and it goes like this talk talk more talk talk more that's the two
00:22:54step formula for sales failure ask listen if you don't take anything else out of this presentation today
00:22:59write that down it's right there on your handout two-step formula for sales success ask listen
00:23:05people who care listen and people who listen care
00:23:20see people today you and I are yearning for someone to listen to us we it's like this aching in our heart
00:23:31to be listened to we pay therapists a hundred bucks an hour just to have somebody give us our
00:23:35their undivided attention you listening so having someone understand and hear you is to the soul or the
00:23:45heart what oxygen is to the body imagine holding someone's head underwater and they're and you're
00:23:52holding them and holding them holding they're they're just about ready to expire they and you let
00:23:56them up and they gasp for air and that oxygen fills their lungs and it's so sweet that's what listening
00:24:02is like to the soul to the heart it's like oxygen to the body we yearn for someone to listen to us
00:24:08but it's not what happens most of the time most people we're at we're a nation of talkers
00:24:13we're a nation of talkers now second principle not listening can get you into big trouble
00:24:22not listening can get you into big trouble you remember the uh how many of you watch the pink
00:24:29panther movies remember those with inspector clouseau peter sellers one of my favorite scenes from the
00:24:39movies has to do with what happens when we don't listen because when we don't listen we can get into
00:24:45big trouble I'll bet you remember this scene I don't even remember which pink panther movie it was but he
00:24:49walks up to the front desk of a hotel he's got his long overcoat on he's got the black gloves on
00:24:54there's a guy standing there with a dog do you know this one and he looks at the guy and he says
00:25:01does your dog bite and the guy says no sir my dog does not bite and of course he reaches down and the
00:25:11dog shreds his hand right I mean it just ripped just about rips his hand off now he pulls it up he
00:25:16finally gets it away from the dog there's the gloves you know blood the shredded glove and he
00:25:21says I thought you said you have Doug does not bite and the guy says yes sir but that is not my Doug
00:25:27great scene from the movies that's what happens when we don't listen when we don't listen we can get
00:25:38into big trouble
00:25:45what's your name Danielle would you jump out of an airplane without a parachute for $10,000
00:25:51no what why not
00:25:55ah it's on the ground what if it's on the ground first you say no I'd die but you didn't but but maybe you're missing something see when we don't listen we miss
00:26:06really important information what if the airplanes on the ground I've had so many network marketing presentations
00:26:15one of them I'll tell you about this woman came over to my house and her name was Paula and she had a stack
00:26:26of stuff so I thought I'm in trouble this is a big stack so I what I said to her was we sat down on my couch
00:26:33I made it very clear I said Paula here's how I like to communicate I like to ask questions and get short answers
00:26:42that's what I like to do I like to ask a bunch of questions and get short answers okay she says okay
00:26:48so I asked her my first question and she began to talk and she kept talking and she kept talking and talking and talking and I'm not exaggerating
00:27:02about 15 minutes later I started reading a book I literally I thought how far can this go and I picked up a book off my nightstand
00:27:14I started reading it and she kept on talking it was what I call product vomit just barfed it all over me you know spray and pray
00:27:29show up and throw up
00:27:31I like to people get a visual on that so you you know cop a visual I want you to remember that's what it was like it's like let me tell you
00:27:36all about she was excited let me tell you all about my
00:27:38products you know the the the spray and pray show up and throw up
00:27:44that's what she did that's what she did with me show up and throw up
00:27:48she was so much into her talking that she didn't even care that I wasn't listening how many of you know people like that
00:27:58yeah they don't even care if you're listening or not just so they have somebody to flap their lips at
00:28:05for most people think that I'm a brilliant conversationalist even though I'm not
00:28:11because at dinner I will ask them a few questions about who their favorite subject themselves
00:28:19and it only takes about three or four questions to get through a whole two-hour dinner
00:28:24and at the end of that dinner they think I'm a brilliant conversationalist but I haven't said anything
00:28:30I haven't told I know their whole life story they don't know a thing about me
00:28:34then towards the end of the meal they look at me and they say enough about me
00:28:39let's talk about you what do you think about me
00:28:43don't ask questions Glenn
00:28:51my dad and I talk about this all the time people don't ask questions they they're not interested
00:28:56now you see that brings up a really important point
00:28:59hearing is a physiological process
00:29:04listening is an emotional process
00:29:07I can teach you listening skills I can teach you my listening model which I'm gonna do in a few minutes
00:29:14but if you don't want to listen it won't help you
00:29:17you can have all the listening skills in the world
00:29:19but if you don't want to listen they won't do you any good
00:29:22you must care about people you've got to be interested in them
00:29:26and it's got to come from sincerity that's what Trish's main message was to me
00:29:31be yourself be who you are share your own story from your heart
00:29:34but find out about theirs too
00:29:37you see if you take the time to really care about another person
00:29:41and you prove it to them by asking them questions and listening
00:29:45then they'll give you the opportunity to share your story too
00:29:49but you've got to give what you want to get it back and you've got to give it first
00:29:53so don't show up and throw up
00:29:56show up and ask questions and listen
00:30:01listening is wanting to hear
00:30:05now when I've talked to John K. Lynch about Nikin
00:30:09it's a whole different story than Paula
00:30:12Paula was at this end
00:30:14John was way at the other end
00:30:16I mean he asked me questions about what I want
00:30:20what my dreams are, what my goals are
00:30:22why I might be interested in this opportunity
00:30:25what I wanted to learn
00:30:26he simply, nope, I didn't feel any kind of pressure at all
00:30:30I felt guilt for not saying yes
00:30:35that's how good he was
00:30:37that I almost felt like
00:30:39I ought to sign up just because he really
00:30:41he's so good at this
00:30:44I think you're right
00:30:53next principle
00:30:55people do things for their reasons not yours
00:30:58people do things for their reasons not yours
00:31:02a friend of mine is a national vice president top level in her network marketing company
00:31:10her name's Donna
00:31:11she told me this story
00:31:12she said when I first started in network marketing
00:31:15it was just what I was looking for
00:31:17she said I was in the real estate business
00:31:19and I was away from my kids and my family for too much
00:31:22I wanted to be at home
00:31:24and I wanted to do something where I can work from home
00:31:26and make a lot of money
00:31:28and I found this company
00:31:30the skin care company
00:31:31and this network marketing opportunity
00:31:33it gave me the ability to stay home with my kids
00:31:35and build a business
00:31:36it was perfect
00:31:37so she said here's what I thought
00:31:39there's got to be other women out there just like me
00:31:42who would like to be at home with their children
00:31:44and making a second income for the family
00:31:47so she thought
00:31:49that'll be my market
00:31:51she goes and she goes to meetings where there's other women
00:31:54and she goes right up to them
00:31:55and she goes up to this woman
00:31:57who had the kids at home
00:31:59and was staying at home with her kids
00:32:03while her husband worked
00:32:05and she said to her
00:32:06she was so excited
00:32:08you know
00:32:09she had that enthusiasm
00:32:10she said this is the greatest opportunity
00:32:12you can stay at home with the kids
00:32:15and you can make a second income
00:32:17it's so great
00:32:18look what I've done
00:32:19and the skin care
00:32:20and all that enthusiasm
00:32:22right?
00:32:23which is a great thing
00:32:24she had passion
00:32:25but she didn't use it well
00:32:27the woman finally looked at her and said
00:32:29you don't understand
00:32:31I don't want to be at home with my kids anymore
00:32:34I want to get out of the house
00:32:37she said I saw this as an opportunity to go out
00:32:40get dressed up
00:32:41go to meetings where there's other women
00:32:43and other people who I can talk to
00:32:45that have something to say
00:32:46other than goo goo ga ga
00:32:48I want to get out of the house
00:32:50and Donna went wow
00:32:51it was a blinding flash of the obvious for her
00:32:54she said
00:32:55it was one of those watershed experiences
00:32:58where she just woke up
00:32:59and she realized people do things for their reasons
00:33:02not mine
00:33:04now what's the only way you can find out
00:33:09what another person's reasons are
00:33:11yeah
00:33:13ask
00:33:14listen
00:33:15ask
00:33:16listen
00:33:17you gotta use this two step formula
00:33:18ask
00:33:19listen
00:33:20ask
00:33:21listen
00:33:22you cannot learn another person's reasons for doing what they do
00:33:25if you're talking
00:33:27if you're talking
00:33:29you're not learning
00:33:31you've got to be listening to learn
00:33:34see for most people the opposite of talking isn't listening
00:33:38for most people the opposite of talking is waiting
00:33:40waiting what?
00:33:43to talk
00:33:44waiting for my turn
00:33:45I mean you're in the middle of telling somebody your story about the time that you got bit by a dog
00:33:51and right in the middle of your story when you pause to take a breath
00:33:55they interrupt you and they say let me tell you about the time I got bit by a dog
00:33:59and they interrupt your story
00:34:01people do things for their reasons not yours
00:34:07Margaret Thatcher said you mustn't put yourself in their shoes
00:34:13you must imagine what they are like in their shoes
00:34:19yeah
00:34:21see the law of duality says this
00:34:23people
00:34:24always give two reasons for why they do things
00:34:28and this was actually based on some research by
00:34:31Herb Cohen on decision making
00:34:33and he found that people do things for two reasons
00:34:36number one
00:34:37is the reason that sounds good
00:34:39and number two
00:34:40is the real reason
00:34:44now think about that because it's very powerful
00:34:47when people give you a reason for why they do or don't do something
00:34:50most of the time
00:34:51that reason that they give you is the reason that sounds good
00:34:54but it's not the real reason
00:34:56so let's say that you address that reason
00:34:58for why they decide not to become involved in the opportunity
00:35:01for example let's say they say
00:35:03I don't have the time
00:35:05is that the real reason or the reason that sounds good
00:35:09that's the reason that sounds good
00:35:12and I can prove it to you
00:35:16everyone has time to do the things that are most important to them
00:35:22everyone
00:35:23the person has time to watch at least ten hours of TV a week
00:35:27I'll betcha
00:35:28I'll betcha they're watching it
00:35:29so they have time to put ten hours into a network marketing business
00:35:33so when they say I don't have the time
00:35:35there's really another reason
00:35:37now what happens if you address the time issue with them
00:35:43that's right
00:35:44and theirs
00:35:45you're wasting time
00:35:46because it isn't the real reason
00:35:49what if they say I don't have the money
00:35:52is that the real reason or the reason that sounds good
00:35:55it's the reason that sounds good
00:35:57here's why
00:35:58people always find the money
00:36:00for the things that are most important to them
00:36:03what if a person says
00:36:05I don't want to sell
00:36:08I'm not a sales person
00:36:10is that the real reason or the reason that sounds good
00:36:14it's the reason that sounds good
00:36:17because you've got to find out
00:36:20what
00:36:21how many of you have ever had that objection by the way
00:36:23oh
00:36:24I'm in the right place
00:36:26so
00:36:29somebody says
00:36:31I'm just not a sales person
00:36:33what do you say to them?
00:36:41who wants to come up here?
00:36:44come on up
00:36:50okay so
00:36:51you know I really think this is an interesting opportunity
00:36:53and it looks like you're doing well
00:36:55but I'm just not
00:36:56I'm not a sales person
00:36:57why do you say that?
00:36:59well
00:37:00you know
00:37:01I just
00:37:02I don't
00:37:03I don't
00:37:04I don't know how to sell
00:37:05I don't know how to get
00:37:06you know I don't want to push
00:37:07be pushy
00:37:08I don't want to be pushy
00:37:09that's no fun
00:37:10I don't want to walk down the street
00:37:11and
00:37:12and look at everybody as a
00:37:13as a prospect
00:37:14yeah I can understand that
00:37:17I felt very similar when
00:37:19somebody had approached this to me
00:37:21what I found was that
00:37:24I got such great benefits from these products
00:37:27that it really gave me my life back
00:37:29and I'm just looking to share it with people
00:37:31and possibly if you take a look at it
00:37:34and experience some of these products
00:37:35you might feel the same way
00:37:39well maybe you're right but
00:37:40you know I don't really have the time
00:37:42I'm really busy
00:37:44and what are you busy with?
00:37:46should I tell her?
00:37:53well what do you mean?
00:37:56I mean life is
00:37:57you know it moves so fast
00:37:58I can't keep up with what I've got on my plate now
00:38:00yeah
00:38:01do you work a full-time job?
00:38:03yeah I mean I work
00:38:04I've got my own business
00:38:05you know I've got my social life
00:38:07I've got my athletics
00:38:08I've got my dog
00:38:09I've got you know
00:38:11busy life
00:38:12you are
00:38:13you sound like one very very busy person
00:38:15yeah
00:38:16well if you had more time
00:38:17what would you like to do
00:38:18to enjoy yourself with it?
00:38:20go to Tahiti
00:38:23go scuba diving
00:38:24you know
00:38:25jump off cliffs with a parachute
00:38:26that kind of stuff
00:38:27so it sounds like
00:38:28you'd like to do fun
00:38:29adventurous types of things
00:38:30yeah
00:38:31plus you know what
00:38:32I don't really have the money
00:38:33to invest in this business either
00:38:35and how
00:38:37how do you go about
00:38:39doing the things that you enjoy doing now?
00:38:40how do you find the finances for them?
00:38:42give her a hand
00:38:43see what happens when you address
00:38:55the presenting message
00:38:57but not the real message
00:38:59see most of the time when we communicate
00:39:01like Trish was talking about earlier
00:39:03Trish are you back there?
00:39:04yeah
00:39:05Trish was talking about how
00:39:06you know
00:39:08that
00:39:09a lot of
00:39:10communication
00:39:11is word
00:39:12only a small amount of communication is words
00:39:15and the rest is nonverbal
00:39:16well
00:39:17another way to look at that is like an iceberg
00:39:20and this is the water line
00:39:21here's the
00:39:22the words are the presenting message
00:39:24this is what the person says
00:39:25and that's
00:39:26what you hear
00:39:27but if you're really listening
00:39:29you will listen for what's beneath the water line
00:39:32the part that you can't see
00:39:34the part that you can't see
00:39:36and that's what listening is about
00:39:37it's about seeing the world
00:39:39through the other person's eyes
00:39:41not addressing just what they say
00:39:43but addressing what they mean
00:39:45you're listening not for the content of their message
00:39:48but for the intent
00:39:50you're listening for the message
00:39:53behind the message
00:39:55you're listening for the space between the words
00:39:59you're listening not just to the lyrics
00:40:02but to the music
00:40:05when I say I don't have the time
00:40:07and she addresses the time issue
00:40:09and in the middle of that I say
00:40:10I don't have the money
00:40:11and she addresses the money issue
00:40:12and then I say
00:40:13but I don't want to be a salesperson
00:40:14and she addresses that issue
00:40:15and they're all getting mixed up
00:40:17she's on to the time thing
00:40:18I'm on to the salesperson thing
00:40:19she's still back at that one
00:40:21what is going on?
00:40:22I'm not telling the truth
00:40:29because buyers are liars
00:40:31now what that means is
00:40:33it's not that I'm mean to lie
00:40:35it's that people tend to give two reasons
00:40:40the one that sounds good
00:40:41and then the real reason
00:40:42and they won't tell you the real reason
00:40:44unless they trust you
00:40:45unless you have credibility
00:40:47unless they like you
00:40:48unless they believe in you
00:40:50unless they know that you're listening
00:40:52and that you care
00:40:53now you can't always get to that point
00:40:55on a first conversation
00:40:57you can't always get to that point
00:40:59on a second conversation
00:41:00sometimes that takes a lot of time
00:41:02that's why
00:41:03another thing that Trish was talking about
00:41:04was a woman over here
00:41:05who just spoon fed
00:41:07a little bit here
00:41:08a little bit there
00:41:09a little bit here
00:41:10a little bit there
00:41:11until you build trust with the person
00:41:12otherwise they're going to give you
00:41:14the reason that sounds good
00:41:16listen for the real reason
00:41:23ask questions that elicit the real reason
00:41:26we'll talk about how to do that
00:41:27in just a minute
00:41:28so people do things for their reasons
00:41:32not yours
00:41:33next principle is to be a doctor of selling
00:41:39be a doctor of selling
00:41:41what's the first thing that happens
00:41:43when when when you go to the doctor's office
00:41:46and you've been waiting
00:41:47and you're you know
00:41:48finally over that hour and a half wait
00:41:50and he comes in
00:41:52or she comes into the examining room
00:41:54what's the first thing that that doctor says
00:41:56when they walk in
00:41:58how do you feel
00:42:03why are you here
00:42:04where does it hurt
00:42:05some form of that
00:42:06that's actually the second question
00:42:07the first one is
00:42:08show me the money
00:42:10right first they ask that
00:42:11then they say
00:42:12so how
00:42:13why
00:42:14why are you here
00:42:15where does it hurt
00:42:16and that's a diagnosis question
00:42:18they say
00:42:19tell me about it
00:42:20does it hurt here
00:42:21and
00:42:23then
00:42:24you say well it hurts right here
00:42:26it
00:42:27it's my stomach
00:42:28it hurts right here
00:42:29and the next thing the doctor says is
00:42:31oh it hurts there
00:42:33oh well here
00:42:34have a prozac
00:42:35that'll take care of it
00:42:36right isn't that what he says
00:42:39or here
00:42:40here's a painkiller
00:42:41I have some aspirin for that
00:42:42and here you go
00:42:43thank you
00:42:44is that what he does
00:42:45no because that's prescription
00:42:48without diagnosis
00:42:50and prescription without diagnosis
00:42:53is called malpractice
00:42:56no the doctor says
00:42:58you say it hurts here
00:42:59what does he say next
00:43:00does it hurt here
00:43:03how about over here
00:43:04does it hurt here
00:43:06how long does it hurt
00:43:08where else does it hurt
00:43:09when did it start hurting
00:43:10how bad is the pain
00:43:11do you have any other symptoms
00:43:13these are all called what kind of questions
00:43:15open questions
00:43:17open questions
00:43:19open questions are the key to asking and listening
00:43:21ask open questions
00:43:23where does it hurt
00:43:24now what's the difference between an open question and a closed question
00:43:27a closed question what
00:43:29yes or no
00:43:31has a yes or no response
00:43:33a one or a zero
00:43:34an A or a B
00:43:35you want to ask open questions
00:43:38which have an infinite number
00:43:39you're in the wet row there
00:43:41sorry about that
00:43:42you already had a shower probably
00:43:43they ask open questions
00:43:48because open questions
00:43:50have an infinite number of possible answers
00:43:52and that's what you want to ask
00:43:53open questions
00:43:54where does it hurt
00:43:55how long does it hurt
00:43:56tell me about your pain
00:43:58tell me more about your pain
00:44:02tell me even more
00:44:03I'd like to hear even more about that
00:44:05really
00:44:06tell me more
00:44:07tell me more
00:44:08tell me more
00:44:09now that's what a good doctor does
00:44:11he really does a thorough diagnosis
00:44:13and only after doing a very thorough diagnosis
00:44:16might he say
00:44:17he might say
00:44:18I've got a couple of ideas for you
00:44:20here's my prescription
00:44:22here's your options
00:44:23be a doctor of selling
00:44:26find out where people hurt
00:44:27find out where their pain is
00:44:30and then show them a way
00:44:32to stop the pain
00:44:34now that could be physical pain
00:44:38it could be emotional pain
00:44:40it could be
00:44:41mental pain
00:44:42it could be pain in their family
00:44:44or some type of social pain
00:44:45financial pain
00:44:46where's their pain?
00:44:48where is their wheel of life
00:44:50off of balance?
00:44:52this is what you need to be focusing on when you talk to them
00:44:57these are the things that make up a person's life
00:44:59and that they want to talk about
00:45:01if there's somebody to listen
00:45:03so be a doctor of selling
00:45:06prescription without diagnosis as malpractice
00:45:08Dr. C. Edward Koop
00:45:10the former surgeon general of the United States
00:45:12is now involved in restructuring the
00:45:15educational architecture of medical schools
00:45:19and he said that his main goal
00:45:22is to teach future doctors to listen
00:45:25he said in their advisor positions
00:45:27they won't be prescribing
00:45:28they'll be learning by listening
00:45:30yeah
00:45:33now
00:45:37let's talk about how to listen
00:45:40I've already given you the two-step formula
00:45:43and that's the one you got to focus on
00:45:45ask, listen
00:45:46ask, listen
00:45:47here's a model for you about how to listen
00:45:54it's a four-step model
00:45:55and I call it the multi-level listening model
00:45:58because you're listening on different levels
00:46:02the deeper the level that you listen on
00:46:04the more people feel heard and understood
00:46:07it's like getting that oxygen
00:46:09okay
00:46:10it's got four steps
00:46:11and you've got those four boxes right there
00:46:15on your handout
00:46:16and the first one
00:46:21the first step is to attend
00:46:26attend means pay attention
00:46:30that's the first step to effective listening
00:46:32pay attention
00:46:34and it's also the most difficult, isn't it?
00:46:38what gets in the way of us paying attention to what another person is saying?
00:46:47you've got two types of distractions
00:46:50one is called external distractions
00:46:52things going on in the outside
00:46:54like people walking around
00:46:55a fire alarm going off
00:46:57cell phones, pagers
00:46:58those are external distractions
00:47:00someone walking by that has strange hair
00:47:02or too much perfume
00:47:04those kinds of things
00:47:06internal distractions
00:47:08these are the really tough ones, aren't they?
00:47:11the stuff that's going on between here
00:47:13while the other person is talking
00:47:15mostly because literally they do speak at about 125 words per minute
00:47:19and you can think at about 400 words per minute
00:47:22there's a big gap there
00:47:23leaves a lot of time for you to have a fantasy
00:47:25or you know
00:47:26and research shows
00:47:27that at any given moment
00:47:29sixty percent of an audience is having a sexual fantasy
00:47:32that is true
00:47:34which means that by the end of my speech
00:47:36you will all have had a good time
00:47:38whether you like my speech or not
00:47:40but you've got this gap there
00:47:44what do you do at this time
00:47:45well most people are thinking about something
00:47:47they're thinking about something that a person is wearing
00:47:50that they don't like
00:47:51or gosh they sure
00:47:53why don't they
00:47:54you know
00:47:55and you're thinking about
00:47:56maybe something that's going on at home
00:47:58a personal problem
00:48:00you're thinking about what
00:48:02here's the big one
00:48:03what you're going to what?
00:48:05say next
00:48:07next
00:48:08before they're finished
00:48:10don't do that anymore
00:48:12okay that's a tough habit to break
00:48:14isn't that a tough one?
00:48:16how do you stop yourself from doing it?
00:48:18I don't know
00:48:19you've got to stop talking
00:48:21you've got to pause
00:48:22you've got to be present with the person
00:48:25listening is about being present
00:48:28charisma comes from presence
00:48:31being totally with the person
00:48:33a hundred percent
00:48:34in the here and now
00:48:36and not allowing our own thoughts
00:48:40and distractions
00:48:41to keep us from being totally present
00:48:43with that other person
00:48:44what we've got to do
00:48:45is learn a skill called bracketing
00:48:47and bracketing means
00:48:48you take all that stuff
00:48:49that you're thinking about
00:48:50your personal problems
00:48:51the checkbook
00:48:52the sick dog
00:48:53the son that's in jail
00:48:54whatever it is
00:48:55and you take it
00:48:56you put it
00:48:57and you bracket it
00:48:58you put it in a box
00:48:59and you set it aside
00:49:00you put it all in a box
00:49:01in your mind
00:49:02and you set it aside
00:49:03in the back of your mind
00:49:04and you remind yourself
00:49:05that you can pull that box out
00:49:07in about ten minutes
00:49:09when you're done talking to this person
00:49:10you can pull it back out
00:49:11and open it up
00:49:12and look at all that stuff again
00:49:14okay
00:49:15but just for the moment
00:49:16you set it aside
00:49:17so pay attention
00:49:18attend
00:49:19pay attention
00:49:20be present
00:49:21the next step
00:49:22the next step
00:49:23is called acknowledge
00:49:31acknowledge
00:49:33now this is a tough one
00:49:34I sometimes spend about
00:49:36two hours just teaching this one step
00:49:39but I'm going to give you the short version
00:49:41acknowledge is
00:49:43how you prove to someone that you are listening
00:49:46it's how you show them that you care
00:49:48to acknowledge where they're coming from
00:49:50to acknowledge the message that they're sending to you
00:49:53is one of the most powerful things that you can do in communication
00:49:56I promise you that if you try this
00:49:58with your children
00:49:59with your parents
00:50:00with your spouse
00:50:01with your friends
00:50:02with your distributors
00:50:03with your people in your organization
00:50:05your up line and your down line
00:50:06your cross line
00:50:07you try this with your cat or your dog
00:50:10it will make a big difference for you
00:50:14and the best way to acknowledge
00:50:17is to pause
00:50:19see
00:50:22most people jump right in
00:50:24as soon as the other person is done with the period
00:50:26at the end of their sentence
00:50:27I am
00:50:28bam
00:50:29I'm into it
00:50:30what I'm going to say
00:50:31and I say it so fast
00:50:33that what the message that I'm sending is
00:50:35I didn't really hear what you just said
00:50:37because I didn't even have time to take it in
00:50:39I was just waiting for you to take a breath
00:50:41you know if other people are going to talk
00:50:45communication becomes impossible
00:50:47that's my motto
00:50:48no
00:50:49it's my turn
00:50:53pause
00:50:55at the end of their sentence
00:50:56when they're done speaking
00:50:57just pause for two or three seconds
00:50:59I call this the golden silence
00:51:01and it's very difficult
00:51:03in fact that two or three seconds
00:51:06when you first start doing it
00:51:07will seem like a very long time
00:51:09but the other person
00:51:11it doesn't seem like it's long to them at all
00:51:13because they think that you're thinking
00:51:15they believe that you're thinking about what they said
00:51:17you're taking it in
00:51:19now I don't know what you're really doing
00:51:23but I hope that's what you're doing
00:51:25another way to acknowledge is to just say
00:51:29oh or that's interesting
00:51:31for example somebody says
00:51:33you know I don't want to sell to my friends
00:51:39most networkers would say
00:51:40most distributors would say
00:51:41oh well you don't have to sell to your friends
00:51:43no in fact that's not how we have this business designed at all
00:51:47you know we've got all these different ways to sell
00:51:49but you don't have to sell to your friends
00:51:51is that good listening?
00:51:53what you want to do is acknowledge
00:51:59and so they say
00:52:01I don't want to sell to my friends
00:52:03you say hmm
00:52:05or oh
00:52:07or really
00:52:09or that's interesting
00:52:11or you pause
00:52:13and you say you know
00:52:15that's interesting
00:52:17you don't want to sell to your friends
00:52:19can you tell me more about that?
00:52:23and that's the next step
00:52:24clarify
00:52:25can you tell me more about that?
00:52:34clarify means to get clear
00:52:37to understand
00:52:39to gain clarity
00:52:41and to do that we have to ask open questions
00:52:43hmm that's interesting
00:52:44that's an interesting remark
00:52:45that you don't want to sell to your friends
00:52:47can you explain what that means to me?
00:52:49what does that mean to you?
00:52:51can you tell me more?
00:52:52what do you mean by
00:52:53you don't want to sell to your friends?
00:52:54I'm not sure I understand
00:52:55can you help me?
00:52:57please help me understand
00:52:58I'd like to know what you mean by that
00:53:00those are all clarify questions
00:53:01clarifying questions
00:53:02I'm giving you some specific language here
00:53:05it's written in my book
00:53:06but you need to put it in your own words
00:53:09you need to put it in your own words
00:53:12somebody says
00:53:13you mean like Amway?
00:53:16no no it's not like Amway at all
00:53:21no it's not like Amway
00:53:23is that good listening?
00:53:25what would be good listening?
00:53:29see what do they mean when they say
00:53:36you mean like Amway?
00:53:37do you know what they mean?
00:53:38no you don't know what they mean
00:53:40you don't know what anybody means unless you ask them
00:53:42unless it's something really simple like
00:53:44what's your name?
00:53:45or does this come in red or blue?
00:53:47that's simple stuff you don't need to go
00:53:49hmm that's an interesting question
00:53:50can you explain?
00:53:51you know
00:53:52no
00:53:53I'm talking about when it's unclear
00:53:55when it's complex
00:53:56when you're not sure
00:53:57okay I'm not talking here about simple stuff
00:53:59but a lot of stuff that seems simple really isn't
00:54:04I mean it seems simple when somebody says
00:54:07I don't have the time
00:54:08well let's talk about time
00:54:10it's not simple
00:54:13they're giving you the reason that sounds good
00:54:16but to find out the real reason
00:54:18you've got to pay attention
00:54:20you've got to acknowledge what they've said
00:54:22and you've got to clarify what they said
00:54:25and then you respond
00:54:27then you respond
00:54:29now
00:54:35most people do what two steps?
00:54:38they go from attend to what?
00:54:40attend respond
00:54:42attend respond
00:54:43how long have you been in this business?
00:54:45six months
00:54:47oh well I'm sorry I really don't want to
00:54:49I don't want to find out more about it
00:54:51one time I was on a sales call with a guy
00:54:54who
00:54:56he was selling telecommunications equipment
00:54:58multi-million dollar stuff
00:54:59the
00:55:00the guy on
00:55:01the
00:55:02gray hair
00:55:03three-piece suit
00:55:04other side of the desk
00:55:05he says
00:55:06so
00:55:07he says
00:55:08aren't you Canadian?
00:55:11no
00:55:12no he says to him
00:55:13yeah that's what he said
00:55:15he said aren't you Canadian?
00:55:16the guy says
00:55:17the sales person says
00:55:18no
00:55:19I'm from
00:55:20I'm from Missouri
00:55:21guy looks at him and he says
00:55:23not you
00:55:25your company
00:55:28because he went right from attend
00:55:30to respond
00:55:31now
00:55:32the guy says
00:55:33oh my company?
00:55:34yeah we're a Canadian company
00:55:36the guy stands up
00:55:37shakes his hand
00:55:38says too bad we can't do business together then
00:55:40and he walks us out
00:55:42at the door I turned
00:55:45and I looked at him and I said
00:55:47what just happened?
00:55:52I said what did we do wrong?
00:55:54he said
00:55:55we don't do business with Canadian companies
00:55:57we only do business with American companies
00:55:59now see
00:56:01he got sales person blew it
00:56:03because he went right from attend
00:56:05to respond
00:56:06what he should have said
00:56:07was
00:56:08when the guy says aren't you Canadian?
00:56:10sounds like a simple question
00:56:11but underneath
00:56:12you gotta
00:56:13you gotta
00:56:14if you pay enough attention
00:56:15you realize
00:56:16this is a hidden
00:56:17there's some hidden messages here
00:56:18he could have said
00:56:19that's an interesting question
00:56:20why do you ask?
00:56:21the guy could have said
00:56:22well we only do business with American companies
00:56:24then he could have responded with
00:56:26well you know what?
00:56:27our company is a multinational company
00:56:28it's a global company
00:56:29we have headquarters in Canada
00:56:31and we have headquarters in America
00:56:32we'd have been okay
00:56:34so
00:56:35acknowledge
00:56:36clarify
00:56:37then respond
00:56:39acknowledge
00:56:40clarify
00:56:41then respond
00:56:42a lot more detail about that model
00:56:48in the book
00:56:49and in some of those tapes
00:56:50but that's the essence of it
00:56:52ask
00:56:53listen
00:56:54ask
00:56:55listen
00:56:56and when you do that
00:56:57when you get really good at listening
00:56:59and by the way
00:57:00you know what?
00:57:01this is one of the most exciting things I've ever done
00:57:02to try to become a better listener
00:57:04it's really fun for me
00:57:06because one of the things about listening is that you cannot
00:57:09not
00:57:10practice
00:57:11right?
00:57:13if you want to become a piano player
00:57:15you've got to buy a piano
00:57:16put it in a specific spot
00:57:18and find a specific time to set aside
00:57:21to practice the piano
00:57:23but with listening
00:57:24you're practicing all the time
00:57:26you cannot not practice
00:57:28you're always given opportunities to become a better listener
00:57:32and when you do
00:57:35some amazing things will happen
00:57:38I have discovered
00:57:40that when I do
00:57:42what I wrote about in my book
00:57:44when I actually walk my talk
00:57:45and I practice good listening skills
00:57:48some amazing things happen that would not have otherwise happened
00:57:51serendipity
00:57:53you know
00:57:54the chance occurrence of things that benefit everyone
00:57:57it's almost a spiritual thing I've discovered
00:58:00and I'm not sure how to put that into words yet
00:58:02but I'll give you an example
00:58:03things happen
00:58:06which might not otherwise have happened
00:58:08that are in your favor
00:58:09when you begin to listen more
00:58:11and talk less
00:58:12about
00:58:14ten years ago
00:58:16I was in the Amazon
00:58:17and I'd been in Brazil for about two months
00:58:19I went up a thousand miles of the Amazon
00:58:21and my friend and I were trying to find a way to get home
00:58:24because we didn't have a plane ticket
00:58:26and that's another long story
00:58:27but
00:58:28we ended up in the
00:58:29we ended up in the middle of the Amazon jungle
00:58:31in a city called Manaus, Brazil
00:58:33and it's right in the middle of the largest jungle in the world
00:58:36you can't fly
00:58:37you can't drive out
00:58:38you can't
00:58:39you have to either fly or take the river
00:58:41it's the only way out
00:58:42well
00:58:43we were staying in these
00:58:44two dollar a night hotels
00:58:46the whole time
00:58:47and when you got up to your room
00:58:48you realized you'd been overcharged
00:58:50they were bad
00:58:52either that
00:58:53or we were sleeping in hammocks
00:58:54camping out
00:58:55anyway
00:58:56so we go to our two dollar a night hotel
00:58:58and
00:58:59while we're there
00:59:00we hear that there's a five star resort
00:59:03in Manaus
00:59:04and I thought
00:59:05no way
00:59:06because I'd been in the hospitality business for twelve years
00:59:08and I thought
00:59:09there's no way there's a five star resort
00:59:11here in the middle of the jungle
00:59:13so we took a bus to it
00:59:14to find out
00:59:15it was called the Hotel Tropicale
00:59:17and we walk in
00:59:18there's air conditioning
00:59:19there's clean sheets
00:59:20that's five star to me at this point
00:59:22but there's clean sheets
00:59:23there's showers
00:59:24there's these tennis courts
00:59:27backed up to the jungle
00:59:28you can hear the monkeys
00:59:29while you're playing tennis
00:59:30there's a big pool area
00:59:32with tables
00:59:33white tablecloths
00:59:34and waiters with white gloves
00:59:35and all this food spread out
00:59:37and a double deck swimming pool
00:59:39where one goes into the other one
00:59:41with a waterfall
00:59:42and I looked at my friend
00:59:43I said Dave we've got to stay here
00:59:45to end our trip
00:59:46I mean this is incredible
00:59:47we've got to
00:59:48we don't have any money
00:59:49and so we pulled out our credit cards
00:59:50that were reserved for emergencies only
00:59:52and we walked up to the front desk
00:59:54and I said to the guy
00:59:55we'd like a room for the weekend
00:59:57and he looks at me
00:59:59we are so excited
01:00:00he says
01:00:01I'm sorry but we're all booked up
01:00:03and I looked at him
01:00:05and he could see the tears
01:00:07starting to form in my eyes
01:00:09and I decided to start talking to him
01:00:15and there wasn't anybody else up there
01:00:18and so we had some time
01:00:19and I just started chatting with him
01:00:20asking him about himself
01:00:22and we talked for a little while
01:00:24and I said you know you speak the best English
01:00:27of anyone that I've heard since I've been in Brazil
01:00:30they speak Portuguese there
01:00:31and he said well I used to live in America
01:00:35and I said really I live in America
01:00:38he said no
01:00:39I said yeah
01:00:41I said where did you live in America
01:00:44he said I lived in California
01:00:45I said I live in California
01:00:47now we're 9,000 miles away
01:00:49in the middle of the largest jungle in the world
01:00:52and I said where did you live in California
01:00:54and he said I lived in San Diego
01:00:56and I said I live in San Diego
01:00:58I said where did you live in San Diego
01:01:00he said I lived in Pacific Beach
01:01:02I said I live in Pacific Beach
01:01:07he says yeah my son lives in San Diego
01:01:10and he's in the hospitality business just like me
01:01:13and I said where does he work
01:01:15and he said Hana Sifu
01:01:16no no
01:01:17not really
01:01:20he says yeah my son's in the hospitality business
01:01:33he lives in San Diego
01:01:34and I looked at the guy's name tag
01:01:35and it said Carlos Davies general manager
01:01:38and I looked at him and I said Mr. Davies
01:01:42your son is Sergio Davies
01:01:45and he's the food and beverage director
01:01:47at the Radisson Hotel in Mission Valley
01:01:49and he hired me to be a waiter there
01:01:51when I was a senior in college
01:01:52when that hotel first opened
01:01:54he hired me to be a waiter
01:01:55in the Italian restaurant there
01:01:57he said I went to the grand opening party
01:02:00for that hotel
01:02:01I said I worked at that grand opening party
01:02:03he said I drank a lot of wine that night
01:02:06I said I served you a lot of wine that night
01:02:08he says you got a room
01:02:11that's what can happen
01:02:18not on the house
01:02:22not on the house
01:02:26I don't usually end talks with something somebody else said
01:02:29but this is so good that I found it just the other day
01:02:32and I thought it applied so well to network marketing
01:02:34it's from Mother Teresa and it's called Anyway
01:02:37she said people are unreasonable illogical and self-centered
01:02:41love them anyway
01:02:43if you do good people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives
01:02:47do good anyway
01:02:49if you're successful you win false friends and true enemies
01:02:53succeed anyway
01:02:56the good you do will be forgotten tomorrow
01:02:59do good anyway
01:03:01honesty and frankness make you vulnerable
01:03:03be honest and frank anyway
01:03:06what you spent years building may be destroyed overnight
01:03:09build anyway
01:03:11people really do need help
01:03:13but may attack you if you help them
01:03:15help people anyway
01:03:17give the world the best you have
01:03:19and you'll get kicked in the teeth
01:03:21give the world the best you've got anyway
01:03:24thank you very much
01:03:27applause
01:03:30thank you
01:03:37thank you
01:03:41thank you
01:03:41thank you
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