- 18 hours ago
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00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket
00:30Why do only foes and horses work, la la la la, la la la la la
00:37Holy shankies, there you are, they're a pleasure to have the blue with, thanks love
00:40Hurry up girls, get in while the going's good, it's one for the price of two, one for the price of two
00:45Keep taking the money Rodney, I'm going to pop down the pub to get a lemonade for the old Hobsons
00:49Get us a packet of pork scratch-ins for Jim
00:50Pork scratch-ins? Sounds like a pig with fleas
00:55Come on in, get in while the going's good
00:57We are not here today gone tomorrow
00:59So, we're here today, gone this afternoon. Now, come on.
01:06Hey, hey. All right, Trigg?
01:07Hello, Del boy. How's your luck?
01:09Oh, you're going to have it for a knicker.
01:10Hey, Joyce, I'll have a pint of diesel oil for Trigger,
01:13and I'll have blackcurrant and pernod.
01:18You'll never guess who I just saw.
01:20Er, King Faisal of Saudi Arabia.
01:23No, no, your mile's off, Del.
01:25No, no, I knew he wouldn't be in here. He'd be in the saloon bar, wouldn't he?
01:29I'm joking, Trigg, I'm joking.
01:33Oh, gotcha.
01:34No, it was your ex-fiancée.
01:37Oh, yeah, which one?
01:38Pauline.
01:40Pauline?
01:41Pauline Harris?
01:43No.
01:44No, no, you must have been mistaken.
01:46She got married to that Bobby Finch, didn't she, and she went to live abroad.
01:49Yeah? Well, who's that sitting over there, then?
01:51Well, who is?
01:59It is her, Trigg.
02:01It is her.
02:02It's at moments like this when I wish I carried an emergency capsule of brute around with me.
02:07Leave it out, will you, Del?
02:08You don't want to get yourself involved with her again.
02:10Remember what happened last time?
02:12Yeah, yeah.
02:13Did she ask about me?
02:14Yeah.
02:14She seemed very concerned to know how much she was earning.
02:18How the hell do you do that?
02:22I thought it was what?
02:24I said she seemed very concerned to know how much she was earning.
02:27Yeah, well, she probably is concerned, isn't she, eh?
02:30You know, perhaps she's worrying about me.
02:33It's all right, all right.
02:33I'm not going to get involved, am I?
02:35Oh, I'm too shrewd for all that, aren't I, eh?
02:40No, I might just go over there, you know, and say hello.
02:43If that is all right with you two.
02:45You want your brains testing.
02:47Yeah, thank you, Joycey.
02:49Here, did you take one for yourself?
02:51No.
02:51Good.
02:56Excuse me.
02:57Excuse me, Squire.
02:58Excuse me, Squire.
02:58Hello, Pauline.
03:21Del.
03:21Oh, I can't believe it.
03:29It's so nice to see you again.
03:31Of course, it's nice to see you, Pauline.
03:33What have you got over your lips here?
03:35What's all there?
03:37It's blackcurrant.
03:39You what?
03:39It's on your lips.
03:40Oh, blackcurrant?
03:41Yeah, it's probably from my blackcurrant and per nod.
03:44Sorry.
03:46Oh, thanks.
03:48It's a...
03:49Oh.
03:50Yeah, thanks.
03:50See, let me, uh...
03:52Let me wipe that off of, uh...
03:53I haven't seen you for 12 years or more.
04:01I want to know all that's been happening.
04:04Nothing, you know, nothing really.
04:06I heard you got mad at that Bobby Finch.
04:08Where's he now?
04:10He's down the Blackshaw Road.
04:11Oh, yeah, what, in them council flats?
04:13No, in a cemetery.
04:16You mean you didn't know?
04:17No, no, no, I'm terribly sorry.
04:19I'm sorry.
04:19I didn't realise, you see,
04:21the last I heard that, you know,
04:23that you went to live abroad,
04:24so naturally I thought that
04:25you and that Bobby-like had immigrated.
04:27No, after Bobby died,
04:28I went to San Francisco.
04:30Suited me being away from familiar surroundings.
04:33I got a job as an air hostess.
04:35It's a good salary, uniform, free travel.
04:37Yeah, of course, that's in your blood, isn't it, eh?
04:39Because your mum was a bus conductress.
04:40You never married yourself, Del?
04:47No, no, no, I never fancied myself.
04:52No, no, no.
04:56You know what I mean?
04:57I mean, what I mean is, you know,
04:58I never...
04:59I never met...
05:01I met a girl that I cared all that much about, really,
05:03you know.
05:04Well, I mean, you know,
05:06well, there was one.
05:07But you don't see her.
05:08Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:11Well, I'm looking at her now.
05:17Where's my pork scratches?
05:18Sorry, Rodney, I got distracted.
05:25Yeah.
05:26How'd it be to my brother, Rodney?
05:27You remember, you remember Rodney?
05:29He's a pretty little scruff.
05:31Look at him now.
05:33He's a big scruff, isn't he?
05:35Do you remember Pauline?
05:37Yeah, I remember.
05:38Pauline Harris, innit?
05:39Yeah, yeah.
05:40Do you call yourself Mrs Finch now?
05:42No, I call myself Mrs Baker.
05:45I remarried, you see.
05:46Oh, see.
05:47An American chap.
05:48I'll get you.
05:49Divorcee, eh?
05:50No, a widow.
05:51Blimey, what?
05:52He kicked the bucket and all, did he?
05:54No, I am sorry.
05:55Sorry, I didn't...
05:56I didn't mean that.
05:57Sorry.
05:58What about that?
05:59Isn't that a shame, eh, Rodney?
06:00You know, she had two husbands die on her.
06:02Yeah.
06:03One more, she keeps a match ball.
06:08Excuse me a moment.
06:09Yeah, yeah, of course.
06:10I'm just going to powder my nose.
06:12Yeah, yeah, well, hurry back, won't you?
06:14Because, you know, I'll be waiting.
06:19Yes, of course, Pauline.
06:20Hurry back, Pauline.
06:21Can I pull the chain for you, Pauline?
06:22You're making sick.
06:24You're very hostile towards Pauline, ain't you?
06:27Well, can you blame me?
06:28I remember how she treated you when you was engaged.
06:31I may only have been a little nipper deal, but I remember how she screwed you up.
06:34It was a long time ago, Rodney, wasn't it?
06:37When Pauline and me were engaged, we was mods.
06:40The only reason she left me was because she found a bloke with a faster Vespa.
06:44I mean, that's a fair reason.
06:45Yeah, it was in them days.
06:47You've got to understand the times, Rodney.
06:50In them days, I mean, teenage marriages broke up because your husband didn't like the ollies.
06:56But we're older now, you know.
06:58We're more mature.
06:59We've developed sensitivity and emotion.
07:03Oh, my God.
07:04Oh, yeah.
07:05What would you know about it, anyway, eh?
07:07You don't have romantic feelings, you.
07:09You just have animal urges.
07:12Sometimes I think you learn the art of seduction by watching wildlife on one.
07:19You've got to understand, Rodney, that, you know, deep down inside me,
07:25I'm a very sensitive person.
07:28I am.
07:30I am.
07:31Well, look at Last Christmas and that film, Love Story.
07:34Look how upset I got then.
07:35I got upset and all.
07:36Yeah, I know, I know.
07:37I got upset because Harley McGraw died.
07:40You got upset because Ryan O'Neill didn't.
07:44Well, he's too good looking, isn't he?
07:47What do you know about it, anyway?
07:49What do you know?
07:50I am talking about men and women.
07:52I am.
07:52You, you're still knocking about with brownies.
07:54No, I'm not.
07:55Yes, you are.
07:56Leave it out.
07:57Some of your dates arrive by skateboard.
08:00Look, Del.
08:01All I'm trying to say is don't get hyped up with that Pauline again.
08:05She'll screw you up.
08:06You mark my words.
08:09Right, Rodney.
08:11A lot of water has run under the bridge since me and Pauline broke up.
08:16I know what it's all about now.
08:19You know, I understand the rules of the game.
08:25I know you're concerned for me.
08:27I know you're trying to give me your advice.
08:30But, how can I put it?
08:35Shove it, Rodney.
08:37Shove it.
08:38It seems to all of us a new sort of social responsibility.
08:43It started in the womb of Anglicanism.
08:45But the followers of John Westbrook came to regard their own authority as sovereign.
08:50The old boy's late, isn't he, Rodney?
08:52No, I wouldn't worry about it, Grandad.
08:54We'll give him another 15 minutes and start finding round the mogs.
08:57What do you mean, the mogs?
08:59Well, there's something about that Pauline that kills him off.
09:01I think she must be a carrier or something.
09:04It's bad news in meeting her again this afternoon.
09:08I remember the last time she hooked him.
09:11I mean, up till then, we was doing all right.
09:14Well, your mum had died and your dad had run off and left you.
09:17But other than that tickety-boo.
09:19Right.
09:20The old was out wheeling and dealing and we was coming along nice.
09:25Then she turned up.
09:27I'd never seen anyone change the fasters, dear boy.
09:31He was besotted with her.
09:34They was engaged within the week.
09:37Broke up within the month.
09:39Little cow was out sky-liking and round with other fellas.
09:43Doe had more fights than John Wayne.
09:47Well, up till then, he was always a strong believer in God and all that.
09:52I mean, he didn't go to church nor nothing.
09:56No, didn't carry it to ridiculous lengths.
09:58But he always give the church a good few quid towards their thumb for a new roof.
10:05He said it was a penance.
10:07Seeing as I was in what nicked the old one.
10:11But after that, he lost faith.
10:14Act natural.
10:17Stay vaguely at them tellies, right, and no questions.
10:19Gentlemen, attention, gentlemen, gentlemen and granddad.
10:47I have an announcement to make.
10:51Pauline and I are engaged to be married.
10:56Don't all blast a blood vessel there, will you, eh?
10:59That's terrific, Del.
11:00Yeah.
11:01We'll have to put an announcement in the exchange of Mark.
11:03Oh, that's the way I'll do that, Rod.
11:06That's a lovely idea.
11:07That's a super...
11:08Here, go and get some glasses.
11:09Go on, go and get some glasses.
11:10We'll celebrate, all right?
11:11Celebrate?
11:11Come on, celebrate, yeah.
11:12You think I'm going to celebrate my only brother getting hyped up to a gold digger?
11:16Listen, oi, listen, motor mouth.
11:19I know you don't like Pauline.
11:21Oh, does it notice that much?
11:23Yes, it does.
11:24I know you don't like the idea, all right?
11:28But, you know, that's what I want.
11:31Here, come on.
11:33Come on, come on.
11:35Come on, have a drink, eh?
11:36Have a drink, eh?
11:37Come on, have a drink.
11:37Yeah, yeah.
11:38Get her.
11:39I'll get some glasses.
11:40Yeah, get some glasses.
11:41Get some glasses, that's it.
11:43Here, granddad.
11:43What are you feeling, granddad?
11:45I ain't saying a word, Del boy.
11:47You want to put yourself in lumber for the rest of your life?
11:50That's entirely up to you.
11:51I'm saying nothing.
11:54All right, listen, you haven't heard the best part yet.
11:56Listen, this is a double celebration because not only have I got engaged to Pauline,
12:03but my bride-to-be has kindly condescended to come and live with us.
12:11We don't say your congratulations, then, will we?
12:13All right.
12:16Say something, then, granddad?
12:27There's a film on the other side.
12:30Lots of people get killed in it.
12:32I cleaned that table today.
12:50Good.
12:51Well, mate, my pimps are dirty, won't it?
12:56Del?
12:57Well?
12:59Rodney.
12:59Well, that was divine, my love.
13:04That was divine.
13:04That was, well, it was pas de calais, as they say in France.
13:09Long time since we had a steak like that, eh, Rodney?
13:11Hell of a long time, Del.
13:13Me and granddad had corned beef.
13:15Corned beef?
13:17Well, I'm not cooking for them two as well, Derek.
13:20I'll cook for you and me and you and me only.
13:23I didn't come here to be a skiffy.
13:24No, no, no, no, no, I know, my love.
13:26I know my petal, you see.
13:28The thing is, when I gave you the housekeeping money at the beginning of the week, I meant
13:31for you to get some grub for them and all.
13:32I did.
13:33I got corned beef.
13:35Ah.
13:35Yeah.
13:36Well, there you are.
13:38See?
13:38You like a little bit of corned beef, don't you, granddad?
13:44What's up with you, then, eh?
13:45It's her, innit?
13:47What?
13:48She's hit my teeth.
13:54Yeah.
13:55What?
13:56What are you hitting his teeth for, then, petal?
13:58No, you don't know what it's like in this place.
14:01Well, you and Rodney are out the auctions of the market, but I'm stuck here with him.
14:06He's nibbling all day long.
14:09There'll be nothing left if I let him carry on.
14:11Don't worry.
14:12He gets his teeth back at mealtimes.
14:14Can't get it.
14:16All right.
14:17Well, you know best, eh, petal?
14:19Yeah.
14:19Right?
14:25Why don't you and granddad go out, Rodney?
14:28I wouldn't mind being alone for once.
14:30You want to be left alone?
14:31Of course.
14:32Well, I'll go with them.
14:33Come on, granddad.
14:35I'll be alone with you.
14:37Oh, I see.
14:37But we never have any time to ourselves in this place.
14:40No time to yourself?
14:41Well, she spent most of your lives in that bedroom.
14:44Giant pandas make quicker than you two.
14:48Never since I moved in here, all we ever seem to do of an evening is to sit here watching them rotten televisions.
14:55And that's another thing.
14:57Why does he watch two televisions?
14:59Because the other one's being mended.
15:02You mean he normally watches three?
15:04Yeah.
15:05He's going senile.
15:07Yeah.
15:09Well, wouldn't he be happier with company of his own age?
15:13You're not bringing your granny round here to live with us, are you?
15:15I was thinking of a home.
15:17He's already got a home.
15:19I know a very nice place down near Thames Ditton.
15:22Bobby Finch's granddad died there.
15:23Can't put him in a home, Pauline.
15:28He's family.
15:30I'll be your family soon.
15:31What are you going in home, then?
15:33I don't want to go in no home, Rodney.
15:36I might catch something.
15:37Don't you worry, granddad.
15:38We're staying put.
15:40Well, the only alternative is for us to buy a house of our own.
15:43What, me?
15:44Buy a house?
15:45No, no, I couldn't do that.
15:47Couldn't do that.
15:47Don't you see that as soon as I put my signature on a document,
15:50the authorities are going to know that I'm alive.
15:54Round here after their pound of flesh, quicker than the mafia.
15:57You can do what my other husbands did.
16:00Put the house in my name.
16:01Well, nobody's going to think it's strange me buying a house.
16:04Not with all the money I got on the life insurances.
16:07Have you got your life insured, Dale?
16:09No.
16:10Never thought about dying before.
16:13Well, we'll have to sort that out.
16:16A wife needs protection.
16:17Especially with your luck, Pauline.
16:21I fancy an early night, Dale.
16:24Oh, no, what again?
16:27Come on.
16:28Yes, all right, my love.
16:30A petal.
16:34Listen, you two.
16:35Hey!
16:39You ready, Grandad?
16:45Yeah.
16:46I just want to see what happens first.
16:49Eh?
16:50Now, don't start making excuses.
16:51We both agree we're not wanted here no more,
16:53so let's get out before Dale wakes up.
16:55We can't go without saying goodbye to him.
16:58No, all right.
16:59We'll say goodbye, then.
16:59We'll get on our way.
17:02He's still up yet?
17:03No, he's still in bed.
17:04He needs his sleep.
17:05He had a bad night.
17:06Yeah?
17:07He didn't sound too bad from where I was.
17:10I'll go and wake him up.
17:11I'll wake him, Rodney.
17:13I don't want you going in that room.
17:16That's my mum's room.
17:18It used to be your mum's room, Rodney,
17:19but it's mine now,
17:20and I don't want to see you in there.
17:22Is that understood?
17:23Jawohl, mein opa Gopenführer.
17:25At your age, Rodney.
17:28Why don't you bike it, you old bag?
17:30You know why she don't want us in there, don't you?
17:35Probably filled up with her devices of sexual torture.
17:38I bet poor Dale's in there now,
17:40bound and gagged,
17:41wearing a rubber mask,
17:42a loincloth,
17:42and being threatened with French lessons.
17:46Maybe that's why he's been looking a bit seedy lately.
17:49Yeah.
17:50And it's only through lack of food, is it?
17:52I mean, look.
17:53There are third world nations
17:54who give up their mineral rights
17:55for what's on that plate.
17:57I wonder what happened to his fried slice.
17:59Perhaps he didn't want it.
18:01His stomach's been a bit dicky, hasn't he?
18:03That's true.
18:08Hello?
18:09Oh, hello, Trig.
18:10Yeah, hang on, I'll get him.
18:12Pauline!
18:13Untied Dale, will you?
18:14He's wanted.
18:17I'm out, I'm out.
18:19What do you mean, untied Dale, anyway?
18:21Nothing.
18:22Who is it?
18:23It's Trig.
18:24Trigger.
18:25Oh, hello, Trig.
18:25What do you want?
18:26No, no, no, he didn't disturb me.
18:28I had to go up anyway.
18:29I was wanted on the phone.
18:30Dale!
18:31Hang on a minute, will you, Trig?
18:33Cut it out.
18:34I'm just popping down for the jewelers,
18:36put a deposit on that ring I saw.
18:38What?
18:38Another one?
18:39You've been engaged five times,
18:41married twice.
18:41You must have more rings than Bravington's.
18:43Just shut it, Rodney.
18:45I mean, what is it with you, eh?
18:46Are you trying to corner the world's gold market
18:48or have you just got a thing about wedding cakes?
18:50I'll bang you one in a minute.
18:51Leave her alone, will you?
18:52Yeah, don't forget you've got to arrange a medical
18:54for your life insurance.
18:56I'll see you down near State Agents.
18:58We can go on to the bank from there.
19:00All right, darling.
19:01Here.
19:04Zinco!
19:05Cut it out!
19:06What have you been doing?
19:07Sniffing that glue again, have you?
19:09Oh, dear.
19:11Well, I was sorry about that, Trig.
19:12Yeah.
19:13Now I was just Rodney having one of his fits.
19:15Anyway, what do you want to phone me about?
19:17Eh?
19:18I mean, it's a delicate matter.
19:22Eh?
19:23No, I know you're my mate.
19:25No, I won't say that you're interfering.
19:28I promise I won't tell you to mind your own business.
19:30Just say what you want to say, will you?
19:33Yeah?
19:36Oh, did I?
19:38Did you?
19:41Did he?
19:43Well, listen, Trig.
19:45Why don't you mind your own bloody business, eh?
19:47Who do you think you are interfering, eh?
19:49Look, you just keep your nose out of it.
19:51All right, pal?
19:54That's Trig keeping.
19:58Do you know what he had the audacity to say?
20:00He phoned me up to say that he heard last night
20:02that the police had investigated Bobby Finch's death.
20:05Apparently, he died of food poisoning.
20:08Food poisoning?
20:10Oh.
20:11Your breakfast's getting cold, Delbra.
20:17Yeah.
20:18Yeah.
20:19Thanks, Grandad.
20:22Yeah, well...
20:23Do you know what?
20:23I think I'm putting on a bit of weight.
20:25I think I'll go on a diet.
20:27Get off.
20:28There's no calories in weed, killer.
20:29You make me die, you do.
20:37I suppose you think the Pauline's gone window shopping at Rent-A-Kills.
20:41Oh, well, I'm going down to make arrangements for my medical.
20:44I'll see you two later.
20:46No, you won't, Del.
20:47Cos me and Grandad have had it up to here.
20:49We're getting out.
20:50Eh?
20:51What do you mean, you're leaving?
20:53No, leave it out, Rodney.
20:55What are you going to do for money?
20:56We'll get by.
20:57We're thinking of forming a partnership.
20:59A partnership?
21:01A partnership, you and Grandad?
21:02God, leave it out, Rodney.
21:04What have you been doing, sitting on your brains again?
21:07You must have noticed at some time or another that he doesn't move.
21:12You know he made the front page of The Lancet, don't you?
21:14As being the only living man in history to be treated for rigor mortis.
21:19Where are you going to go, anyway?
21:21Aunty Rose is in Clacton.
21:23Aunty Rose is in Clacton?
21:25Yeah, Grandad says we can go there any time.
21:27Oh, did he?
21:28Oh, did he?
21:29Well, you'd better go there now, then, ain't you, eh?
21:31Go on.
21:32A pair of you.
21:32Get on your bike.
21:33Go on.
21:34Before Pauline comes back with me deadly nightshade.
21:41Rodney.
21:44Oh, come on.
21:46Don't believe all that rubbish about food poisoning, do you?
21:49Course not.
21:51Eat your mushrooms, Del.
21:52Rodney.
22:00We're not coming back, Del.
22:01No, hang about.
22:02I'm coming with you.
22:11Come on, Rodney.
22:12You bring the suitcases.
22:13Grandpa, you carry the light stuff.
22:14Okay?
22:16Ha-ha-ha-ha.
22:18Surprise, surprise.
22:19Hello, Aunty.
22:20Bet you're surprised to see us, eh, love?
22:21Come on, come on, bring that in, you two.
22:26Oh, yes.
22:28Very nice.
22:29Oh.
22:31Here we are.
22:32Ah.
22:33Here, Grandad, change the channels over, will you?
22:36It's racing on our past two.
22:37What do you put in that note to Pauline, then?
22:44I'll just put, my dearest darling Pauline, the engagement's off, the wedding's off, and
22:50as you can gather from this letter, I'm off.
22:52I'll give you five clear days to get out of the flat, and do not ever come back, you money-grabbing
22:58an old murderess.
22:59All my love, doll boy, and then lots of kisses.
23:02Well, I didn't put it quite as nicely as that, but that was the gist of the idea, yeah.
23:06God knows what we'll go back to.
23:08She might have probably smashed that flat to pieces.
23:10Have you had enough?
23:11Mmm.
23:12That was handsome.
23:14Handsome?
23:14Well, it was Sean's elizé, as the French say.
23:17Now, listen, Arnie, we're going to be here for about five days, so what I want you to do
23:22is take this money here like that, put that in your penny, because I don't want you spending
23:27your own money on us, all right?
23:29Well, that's very nice of you.
23:32Do you mind if I ask you something?
23:34Well, of course not.
23:36Mon air d'etre?
23:37You know, far away.
23:39Who are you?
23:41You mean, we'd been in your house for five hours, had all your shepherd's pie and had
23:52a bath each, and you don't know who we are?
23:54Well, I didn't like to ask, because you seem to know me.
24:00But we're Joanie's boys, aren't we?
24:03Well, I mean, he isn't.
24:05No, no.
24:06You know Joanie, my mum, married Reg Trotter.
24:09You were at a wedding.
24:11Don't remember you.
24:12No, no, no.
24:14Of course you wouldn't remember me, not at me mum's wedding.
24:17I was only a baby in arms.
24:19You'd say come down any time.
24:22When was this then?
24:241947.
24:24So, here we are.
24:28Yeah.
24:28You must remember the wedding.
24:32It was at that big church.
24:34You know, Our Lady of the Divine Rosemary.
24:37Yeah.
24:38You know, Peckham.
24:39Peckham?
24:39I've never been to Peckham in me life.
24:43Honey, you should mention it, though, because the lady what owned the cottage before me,
24:47she came from Peckham.
24:50Auntie Rose has moved.
24:52Well, who's this thing?
24:53God knows.
24:55Joanie.
24:56Joanie Ollins married a Jamaican fella.
25:01Hey?
25:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:02Yeah, yeah.
25:04Yeah, but you don't look very...
25:06We're adopted.
25:07Yeah.
25:07Oh.
25:08Would you like some apple pie?
25:12That'll be smashing, Auntie.
25:14Mwah.
25:21Shh.
25:22Come on.
25:22Come on.
25:23Come in here.
25:24Listen.
25:26Shh.
25:26Be alert.
25:28Pauline could come rushing out of any one of those rooms in there, brandishing her mother
25:32of pearl hand or flick knife.
25:35Be like Psycho in a tower block.
25:38Shh.
25:40Listen.
25:41I'll take the living room.
25:42Rodney, you take the bedroom.
25:43Grandad, you take the kitchen.
25:45Right.
25:46And good luck.
25:48Right.
25:50Go on, my son.
25:51Go on.
25:52Go on.
25:52Go on.
25:53Go on.
25:54Go on.
26:08She's not in the bedrooms.
26:09Hey.
26:10She done any damage?
26:11No.
26:11All the beds are neatly made.
26:12She's even been round with the ova.
26:14She's not in the kitchen.
26:15Not clean and tidy out there.
26:18What's her game, then, eh?
26:19What is her game?
26:21There's no way that that Pauline would leave this flat without doing something really nasty
26:25to me.
26:25Hey.
26:26Whee.
26:28No, no.
26:30I'll be daft.
26:30Where would she get a bomb from, eh?
26:33Hey.
26:33There's a letter here.
26:35It's addressed to that no-good-lying two-faced creepo.
26:38Oh, that'll be for me, Rodney.
26:43Let's have a look, see what she's got to say for herself, then, eh?
26:47Right.
26:47Here we are.
26:48Look.
26:49Oh, well.
26:50That's more like the Pauline I know and love.
26:53Oh, dear.
26:54Look at the language here.
26:57You'd think an ex-aerostess would know how to spell better than that.
27:00Look at that, hey?
27:02Is that true?
27:03What?
27:03No.
27:05Off.
27:07Yeah, well, did Pauline really mean that much to you?
27:10Hmm?
27:11No, no.
27:13Not really.
27:15No, somehow it wasn't quite the same.
27:20Sometimes I think I'm not really cut out for this falling-in-love lark.
27:24Well, I've got a confession to make, Del.
27:37Police investigation into food poisoning.
27:39Well, it was a wind-up.
27:41Me and Grandad put him up to it.
27:43We did it for you, Del.
27:44You put him up to it.
27:51It was nothing to do with me, Del.
27:53I only suggested it.
27:55I know, he only suggested it.
27:59I was only thinking of you, Del.
28:00You was only thinking of me, you couple of rascals.
28:06What am I going to do with you two, eh?
28:11Hey, what am I going to do with you?
28:13Well, I've got your hat stuck, innit?
28:14Yeah.
28:15We're all right on our own.
28:16We don't need no birds.
28:18No, no.
28:19No, if you say so, Grandad.
28:21Here, go on, go on.
28:23Put the kettle on, eh?
28:24Go on.
28:26Look at this girl, the way she spells.
28:28What's that?
28:28Put-o.
28:29What's that?
28:29Put-o.
28:30It's Peter.
28:30It's please turn over.
28:32I know what...
28:32I know what please turn over means, don't I, PTO.
28:37I'm not illiterate and all that.
28:39Yeah, there's someone on the phone.
28:41It's Tim.
28:42Tim who?
28:43Tim the talking clock.
28:44Oh, the cow!
28:49She only found the talking clock before she left.
28:53And this is...
28:53Oh, Bennett, this is dated four days ago.
28:57I don't want to worry you, Dil,
28:59but this Tim's got a funny accent.
29:04She only found the talking clock in America,
29:07don't she?
29:08You're connected to America.
29:11It's amazing, innit?
29:14Hello!
29:15Hang it up!
29:22You've got some off-price,
29:24frat-tice,
29:25some miles and miles of carpet tiles,
29:26TVs, deep-freeze,
29:28and David Bowie OPs,
29:29pool games, gold chains,
29:31wuss names,
29:32and header push,
29:32and Trevor Francis,
29:33tracksuits from a mush,
29:34and Shepard's Bush,
29:35Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush.
29:38No income tax,
29:40no VAT,
29:41no money back,
29:43no guarantee,
29:44black or white,
29:46rich or broke,
29:47we'll cut prices
29:49and a straw.
29:53God bless,
29:54Hooky Street,
29:55Viva,
29:57Hooky Street,
29:58Long-lived Hooky Street,
30:01St.
30:01Monday Feet,
30:03Hooky Street,
30:04Monday Feet,
30:06Hooky Street,
30:08Hooky Street,
30:11Hooky Street.