- 7 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Just in time for Valentine's Day, Applebee's is bringing back its $100 date night pass,
00:07which gets you meals at a discount.
00:10It's Applebee's way to make Valentine's Day dinner plans a lot more affordable.
00:15Applebee's is offering couples a $100 deal for Valentine's Day.
00:19But what if you're single this February 14th?
00:22Well then, come on in to the Olive Garden, where for just $99,
00:26you'll get one hour in our fantasy suite to have your way with a plate of fettuccine alfredo.
00:33Do your dirtiest, no judgment, and upon request, no gluten.
00:37Remember, this isn't prostitution, it's prostitution.
00:41And we have lots of dishes you can get saucy with.
00:45Try our shrimp, it's scampily clad.
00:48And how about our arrabbiata, for full penetration.
00:51So don't be lonely this Valentine's Day.
00:54Come into the Olive Garden, because when you're here, what you can do with our breadsticks is unlimited.
01:00It's The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
01:05Tonight, halftime showdown.
01:09Plus, Stephen welcomes Mark Ruffalo and Father James Martin.
01:17Featuring Louis Cato and The Late Show fans.
01:21And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert.
01:30Welcome, everybody, to The Late Show.
01:43I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:56Ladies and gentlemen, thank you.
02:00You know, there are so many big stories dominating the national conversation right now, but we're going to start off tonight with what I know is the number one reason you all watch the show, and that is to hear me talk about sports.
02:13This Sunday is the biggest day in men's football, Super Bowl 60.
02:25Yes, the Super Bowl is 60, which explains why the game is sponsored by Day of the Week Pillbox.
02:30And the halftime show for this year's Super Bowl will be a friend of the show, or amigo del shotarde, Bad Bunny, who sings almost exclusively in Spanish.
02:52And not only that, is expected to perform in Spanish.
03:00Now, I've been practicing Spanish on my Duolingo, so I'll understand all his lyrics as long as the lyrics are,
03:08the bear and the mouse need an apartment.
03:09And also, that's all I got, the right-wing media has had their panties in a bunch over the Bad Bunny booking for months because Mr. Bunny excluded the continental U.S. from his most recent tour out of fear that ICE could potentially raid the venues.
03:29And then on Sunday night, he blasted ICE while accepting an award at the Grammys.
03:33Hey, he's just looking out for his fans, y'all.
03:35Also, that's what you want to do.
03:39That's all you want to do.
03:42Also, Latino artists have always been political.
03:45Who can forget that famous Gloria Estefan song?
03:49Come on, shake your body, baby, perform on down.
03:53The...
03:54Fantastic.
03:57How did he lose?
03:58How did he lose?
04:00The New York Times even asked some NFL players what they thought about the decision,
04:04and one player said,
04:05I always think it should be an American.
04:07I think they're trying too hard with this international stuff.
04:10I agree.
04:12I agree.
04:13And I bet Bad Bunny agrees, too, because he's an American.
04:21He...
04:22He is from Puerto Rico, which is part of the United States.
04:27Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Benito.
04:29Anyone who thinks it's un-American to have an American perform at the Super Bowl is dumb, right?
04:35Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
04:41Ah, see?
04:45Also, see?
04:47Also, I just want to point out that in the past, they've had many artists who are not American,
04:51like Canadian Shania Twain, the UK's Rolling Stones,
04:55or Paul McCartney, as well as Big Bad Voodoo Daddy,
04:59who, of course, hails from the country called the late 90s,
05:03a lawless place where squirrel nut zippers
05:06and spin doctors roam the land,
05:08smashing pumpkins with their flaming lips.
05:10And many of them did not speak English.
05:12People are still trying to decide for what language
05:14Eddie Vedder is singing.
05:16Squeegee, looka-mucca-pop-a-dodo-to-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
05:23Hear me, fuckin' please,
05:26please, please.
05:31Kinda sounds like a bagpipe.
05:35Hear me, fuckin' please.
05:41Please, please.
05:43HE!
05:46HE!
05:52Love you, Eddie Vedder.
05:53The Times also asked players if they could pick any artist
05:56who would be their top choice to play the halftime show,
05:58and one player said, Florence and the Machine,
06:00but I don't know if everybody would rock with that.
06:04You speak your truth, anonymous burly man.
06:08I don't know who this fella is, but give him a bigger,
06:10a bigger, thicker helmet, because we have to protect him
06:13and his love of witchy power ballads that are...
06:16perfect for water births.
06:19You know, football.
06:22If you'd rather not watch a bad bunny,
06:25there's gonna be a competing halftime show
06:27featuring a terrible bunny, because in protest,
06:30a conservative group is staging an alternative halftime show
06:32starring Kid Rock.
06:37According to the press release, the show is called
06:39the All-American Halftime Show
06:42in a font that is called
06:43T-Shirt on a Quiet Angry Dad at Disney World.
06:47As you may have noticed from the poster there,
06:48Kid's not rocking this one alone.
06:50He'll be joined by country singers
06:52Brantley Gilbert, Gabby Barrett, and Lee Bryce.
06:57Powerhouse lineup.
06:58Also appearing are Gary Lee Grant, Gilby Brantlett,
07:03Dilly Barrett, Tandy Breitbart, Billy Gidley,
07:07and Baby Bilbo.
07:10Now, excited.
07:12I'm tuning in.
07:13I'm tuning in.
07:14I'm flipping the wings.
07:15Yeah, yeah, come on.
07:16I'm tuning in.
07:17I don't want to disappoint anybody,
07:19but we've just learned that Billy Gidley cannot make it
07:22due to health reasons, but in tribute,
07:25Trilly Gilson and Brandi DeGamble
07:29will be performing a Billy Gidley medley.
07:31Now, if you want to attend this alternate halftime show,
07:39you can't, because it is unclear what venue will host.
07:43Which I believe is fitting, because Kid Rock is often
07:46unclear what venue he's in.
07:48But they have announced the event will be available to stream
07:52on the actual, real platforms, TBN, DW+, Charge, and Rumble.
07:59Also, they're negotiating to stream on Crunch, Cramble,
08:04Hunkle, Krampus, and Paramount Plus.
08:07There's new contributors.
08:11Billy Gidley is going to be a contributor on CBS News now.
08:15That's a scoop.
08:16That's an idea scoop.
08:18But wait, there's more sport.
08:20This time, Internationale, because Friday marks the start
08:24of the Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics.
08:28There's lots to look forward to, specifically Milo and Tina,
08:31the first openly Gen-Z Olympic mascots.
08:41How brave.
08:42Before now, it was hard for mascots to tell their parents
08:46they were born between 1997 and 2012.
08:48But, of course, when you think of Gen-Z Olympians,
08:52you think of a pair of scarf-wearing stoats
08:54or short-haired weasels.
08:56Seen here, apparently fleeing an Alpine crime scene
09:00with three baby grandmas.
09:03Baby Grandmas, of course, is streaming
09:05after the All-American Halftime Show on Hunkle.
09:08Baby Grandmas, are they babies?
09:10Are they grandmas?
09:11Either way, they're wearing diapers.
09:14Hunkle.
09:15Hunkle with ads.
09:17Now, say ads, though, right?
09:20Hunkle with ads.
09:23According to the mascot experts,
09:25Tina is a creative, down-to-earth type,
09:27while Milo loves to play practical jokes
09:31and invent musical instruments in his spare time.
09:34Neat.
09:35I think I speak for everyone when I say,
09:37Milo must be killed.
09:44Sorry.
09:45Practical jokes and inventing music?
09:47No, no.
09:48Fun fact, Milo and Tina were selected
09:50after Italy's Ministry of Education invited primary
09:53and secondary school students to submit ideas for mascots.
09:56That's cute.
09:57Also explains the runners-up,
09:59Spaghetti and My Balls,
10:01Signore Bisto,
10:03and the most popular streaming movie in Italy,
10:07Que Paparoni di Mozzarella, Hunterinos.
10:11Okay.
10:12That was hard.
10:14Que mozzarella.
10:16Que paparoni.
10:18Que paparoni mozzarella di Marinos.
10:20Okay.
10:21We've waited long enough,
10:22and I think it's time to sink our teeth into what I believe is the most important news story in America,
10:27a Chicago snowplow naming contest where finalists include Abolish Ice, Kevin McPlowister,
10:34and Stephen Colbert.
10:47Of course, as a guy who lived in Chicago for over a decade,
10:52I was very excited when I heard about this.
10:55It's an honor just to be nominated for a name on snowplow.
11:00I was less excited, however, to learn that.
11:02On the list of finalists, I'm currently number 22.
11:06This is an outrage!
11:08Look, I don't mind being lower than some of the good plow names on the list,
11:11like Buckingham Plownston,
11:14Caleb Chilliams,
11:16and Chance the Scraper.
11:17But I'm currently nine spots below Live, Laugh, Plow.
11:24Live, Laugh, Plow!
11:27Come on, Chicago, that's not even a pun!
11:30It's the name of a throw pillow-themed porno.
11:34And I'm not gonna take this lying down,
11:37even though I love lying down.
11:40The list of snowplow names is a sham.
11:42It is a travesty.
11:44And I'm being told, uh, the list is purely alphabetical.
11:48And my little tantrum was unjustified,
11:52though it did get us closer to the commercial break.
11:54My apologies.
11:55I'm so sorry.
11:56Hey, guys, I'm sorry.
11:58You shouldn't have to watch.
11:59I'm so sorry.
12:00My apologies to specifically Chicago.
12:02I want to win this, okay?
12:04I still want to win this.
12:04So listen up.
12:05City residents may view the list of finalists
12:07and vote for up to six names at chicagoshovels.org
12:12by Saturday, February 14th.
12:15Perfect activity for you and your lover on Valentine's Day.
12:19You vote for me, then...
12:21Live, Laugh, Plow.
12:25By the way, Live, Laugh, Plow.
12:28It might have to be Live, Laugh, Plow.
12:33Oh, by the way, chicagoshovels.org,
12:35also one of the sites where you can catch
12:37the Kid Rock Halftime Show.
12:39We've got a great show for you tonight.
12:41My guests are Mark Ruffalo and father James Martin,
12:45but when we come back, we talk about the guy, you know,
12:49the one we talk about a lot.
12:51Go!
13:03Welcome back.
13:16Give it up for Lewis Cato and the band.
13:18Oh, that was fun.
13:20With the hoop.
13:21Okay, folks, let's get straight to it.
13:24Usually the second act of the show is a little less political,
13:27a little lighter, but tonight's a little more political,
13:29a little lighting democracy on fire.
13:32Because yesterday, the president of the United States
13:35took time out of his job as trickster god of chaos
13:38to phone into the podcast of former deputy FBI director
13:43and irritated hemorrhoid watching you buy the single ply,
13:47Dan Mungingu.
13:49Trump laid out his vision for the future
13:51by complaining about the past.
13:53Think of it. I won in a landslide.
13:55I won every swing state.
13:57I won the popular vote by millions.
13:59I won everything.
14:00We have states that I won that, Joe, I didn't win.
14:03Like the 2020 election.
14:04I won that election by so much.
14:06No, you so didn't.
14:08Saying something...
14:12Saying something...
14:13Saying something over and over on a podcast
14:15doesn't make it true.
14:16If it did, everyone would have the perfect mattress.
14:19No surprise.
14:22One of the states that Trump is largely mad at is Minnesota.
14:26Minnesota, if they allowed us to do the job,
14:30it's a mess.
14:30There's something in the water up there.
14:32It's Minnesota.
14:33That's not water.
14:34It's cream of mushroom soup.
14:38This podcast, this podcast appearance right here
14:41is not the first place Trump has made false claims
14:44about election fraud, but it is the first time
14:46he's suggested this terrifying solution.
14:48And I love the state.
14:49I won the state three times, but I got no credit for it.
14:52I won that state three times, but it's a rigged state.
14:55The Republicans should say, we want to take over.
14:58We should take over the voting in at least many, 15 places.
15:05The Republicans ought to nationalize the voting.
15:08That's right.
15:10We've reached the rigging elections phase of fascism.
15:14Johnny, tell them what they've won.
15:16A dystopian future ruled by a permanent omniscient cadre
15:21of AI-enhanced tech oligarchs.
15:24And a dinette set from Broy Hill.
15:27Broy Hill, do it to Julia.
15:30Do it to Julia.
15:32Back to you, Steve.
15:35Trump's new idea to nationalize the 2026 election
15:38is rooted in his obsession with the 2020 election
15:41that he lost last week.
15:42Trump sent the FBI to raid Fulton County, Georgia,
15:45election offices, seizing voter rolls, related data,
15:48and truckloads of 2020 ballots.
15:51My God, 2020 is six years ago.
15:54They recounted the ballots twice.
15:56You lost both times.
15:57You are currently president again.
15:59Let it go.
16:00You can't change the past.
16:02You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube
16:04or the juice back in Rudy's skull.
16:06Where am I?
16:18It gets more insane.
16:20Trump is so fixated on 2020, because, again, he lost it,
16:23that he personally ordered the director of national intelligence,
16:26Tulsi Gabbard, to go to Atlanta for the search
16:30where someone snapped this picture of her.
16:34Just look, just, just look at that photo.
16:49Hello?
16:51Hello, hello, yes, I'd like to report a strange woman.
16:54Yes.
16:56And I'd like to order some garlic knots, please.
17:01Well.
17:02Magic hair.
17:03Well, we just learned that Gabbard
17:06was using her cell phone to call Trump.
17:08And according to one official, the president addressed
17:10the agents on the speakerphone, praising them,
17:12and thanking them for their work on the inquiry,
17:15like a pep rally.
17:16Give me an F.
17:18Give me a B.
17:19Give me an I.
17:21What's that spell?
17:23Serious question.
17:25Because the cognitive.
17:28The administration knows.
17:30Give me an I.
17:31Are you one?
17:33The administration knows Gabbard's involvement looks bad,
17:37so they sent deputy attorney general
17:38and former Trump lawyer Todd Blanche
17:40onto the Fox News to try to explain it.
17:43Did you ever find out why she was at the,
17:45and I mean, everyone knows I love Tulsi Gabbard,
17:47but why was she at that particular raid?
17:49I love her, too.
17:50No, I mean, well, first of all, she wasn't at the search.
17:53She was in the area where the search took place.
17:59Wow.
18:00Babe, I didn't cheat on you.
18:02My genitals were just in the same area
18:05where the sex took place.
18:07And how could you even tell that was my penis?
18:09I put a baseball cap on it.
18:13We're all still picking our jaws up off the floor
18:16after the latest batch of Epstein files over the weekend.
18:18The guy apparently ran into every prominent American
18:20in the last decade.
18:21He's like the Forrest Gump of sex crimes.
18:24In that, the name Forrest Gump appears in the files three times.
18:29Run, Forrest.
18:32Run.
18:34You too, Janae.
18:42New disturbing finds are floating to the surface every day,
18:44like this e-mail from Epstein to Katie Couric,
18:47where she thanked him for inviting her to a dinner,
18:49saying the lasagna was rockin'.
18:52Know what they say?
18:53If this lasagna's rockin', call the police.
18:58Despite the many, many, many, many, many, many horrible allegations
19:02that we will never be able to scrub from our brains,
19:04as well as he was on the Fox News yesterday.
19:06Blanche said that the DOJ does not plan to bring any charges.
19:10Is there any chance that any of these individuals
19:13who partied with Epstein and engaged in relations with minors
19:19will be prosecuted?
19:21Any chance?
19:22We, I'll never say no.
19:24And we will always investigate any evidence of misconduct.
19:27But as you know, it is not a crime to party with Mr. Epstein.
19:31The American people need to understand that
19:34it isn't a crime to party with Mr. Epstein.
19:36Yeah, American people, loosen up.
19:40It's not a crime to party with Mr. Epstein,
19:43just like it's not a crime to hold a potluck with Jeffrey Dahmer.
19:48I mean, you got to admit, his lasagna was rockin'.
19:52We'll be right back with Mark Ruffalo.
19:55Whoo!
19:57Now you go, and you say you want to be
20:02All right, everybody, sit down.
20:11Thank you very much.
20:12Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
20:14You know my first guest tonight from Spotlight,
20:17Poor Things, Foxcatcher, and the Marvel series
20:20of instructional videos.
20:22Welcome back to The Late Show, Mark Ruffalo.
20:52Great to see you.
21:00Ah.
21:01Won't you please?
21:06Won't you please?
21:08We may never pass this way again.
21:10We may never not.
21:11Listen, it's good to see you.
21:14Always lovely to see you on stage or off stage.
21:16So good to see you.
21:17I'm a great admirer of you, not just for your work,
21:20but for your advocacy.
21:21I see you got the ice out pin.
21:22That's right.
21:23With you right there.
21:24Now, now, I want to get into that in just a second.
21:32I learned something about you today.
21:34Before you were the big shot, you know, Hollywood movie star,
21:37is that you were a little boy growing up in Kenosha, Wisconsin.
21:41K-Town.
21:42K-Town.
21:43K-Town, okay.
21:44Kenosha!
21:45What was occupying the time of young Mark Ruffalo in
21:49Quiet Little Kenosha?
21:50Well, I had great dreams of being a clown.
21:55Did you work at it?
21:56Did you, like, just dream of it, or did you, like,
21:58work on your clown?
21:58I worked at it.
21:59I figured it wasn't enough just to be a clown anymore,
22:02but you had to have a special extra talent.
22:05What was your thing?
22:07Unicycle.
22:09Okay, that's kind of a classic, the unicycle clown.
22:11Yes.
22:12And were you good at unicycling?
22:15I got very good at unicycling.
22:17I could unicycle forward.
22:18I could unicycle backward.
22:19I could unicycle tall.
22:21I could unicycle short.
22:22Wow.
22:23I could unicycle invisible.
22:25I could unicycle.
22:27Wow.
22:27Careful.
22:28Careful.
22:29Careful.
22:31What did you do with this skill?
22:32Well, I didn't know how to break into it, really.
22:36Me and my friend, Steven Kautzer, who I hope is out there
22:39somewhere, we would...
22:40Is Steven here tonight?
22:41No.
22:42He's not here tonight.
22:43We would stand on the side of the parade, and then...
22:47Any parade?
22:48The only parade.
22:50Fourth of July?
22:51Fourth of July parade, and it was called Crazy Days.
22:54Whoo!
22:56It's okay.
22:57And he and I would sneak into the parade and totally be clown
23:04interlopers.
23:06Uninvited clowning.
23:07Uninvited cloud interlopers, and work our way through the
23:13floats, and then, before we got to the end, sneak away so we
23:17didn't get arrested for trespassing.
23:20They'd take you back to the precinct and beat you with a
23:22rubber chicken.
23:24Wow.
23:25So...
23:26That's bold.
23:27That's where it all started.
23:28I really admire that.
23:30You do?
23:30Yeah, well, it's sort of anarchic clowning.
23:32It was.
23:33It was punk clown.
23:33Yeah.
23:35It was, it was, yeah, it was, it was really, um, it was
23:38resistance clown.
23:40Well, luckily, from the, for the, for the, those of us who
23:44love your work, you eventually moved on from clowning to, to
23:46cinema.
23:48Actors lie often in early auditions.
23:50I lied constantly in early auditions.
23:53I'm curious, I actually know, I'm not even curious, I know that
23:56you got caught, and I'm curious whether you would share your
23:58story of, of, of how you got caught by Ang Lee.
24:03So...
24:06Uh, at the audition, they asked, can you ride a horse?
24:12And I was like, of course I could ride a horse.
24:15And had you had a, did you ride a horse?
24:17Well, I rode a horse that was following another horse who was
24:21following another horse who was following another horse.
24:25So you had a satchel on the back of a horse.
24:27I was basically just, uh, a sack on the back of a horse.
24:30Okay, yeah.
24:31A sad sack.
24:32Yes.
24:33And, um, so they said, well, have you ridden horses?
24:36I was like, yeah, that wasn't lying.
24:38I'd ridden horses.
24:39Sure.
24:40But you know how to ride a horse.
24:41Yes, because we really need someone who can ride a horse.
24:45I can ride a horse.
24:46How many times do I have to say it to you?
24:49And so I get a call, um, and they're like, you got the part.
24:57And I was thinking, okay, the first thing I would do when I get
25:01there is I'm just going to brush up on my horse riding.
25:06Right, like you do.
25:07I'll go to the horse wrangler.
25:08Yeah.
25:09And I'll say, listen, man, I don't know how to ride a horse.
25:15Do you think you could teach me really quick?
25:16Real quick.
25:17Really quick.
25:18Just give me the basics.
25:19Yeah.
25:19Which set, which end is the front?
25:21Yes.
25:23And he was like, oh, man.
25:25Oh, man.
25:26You can't learn to ride a horse in half an hour.
25:30And I was like, try me.
25:32So I thought I knew what I was doing.
25:37But the scene was I'm supposed to get up, jump on the horse,
25:42kick the horse, and take off.
25:45I got up, jumped on the horse, kicked the horse.
25:58The horse took off.
25:59Into the woods, in the wrong direction.
26:19With you on his back.
26:20Up the mountain.
26:21Yes, with me.
26:22Yes.
26:23Yes.
26:24And the horse wranglers all came running in on their horses.
26:28Mm-hmm.
26:29And the horse was trying to kill me.
26:31It was running up against every tree.
26:34To scrape you off.
26:35Yes, to try to scrape me off.
26:37And for some reason, I got stop and go mixed up.
26:44I was nervous, man.
26:47OK.
26:48And so I was like, stop, stop, stop.
26:52So you were kicking the horse and yelling stop.
26:56OK.
26:57I know a lot about horsemanship, but I think we see the problem.
27:00Yeah.
27:02And finally, they caught up to me.
27:03I mean, hundreds of yards.
27:05Yes.
27:05They jump off the horse.
27:07They jump off their horses.
27:08They grab my horse.
27:09They basically pull it to the ground.
27:12And then I have the shameful 300-yard walk.
27:21Back to Ang Lee.
27:22Back to Ang Lee, who's just sitting there like this.
27:33And I said, should we do it again?
27:36Beautiful.
27:38Beautiful.
27:38Beautiful.
27:40We've got to take a quick break.
27:41Yeah.
27:42We'll be right back with more of Mark Ruffalo, everybody.
27:43Stick around.
27:44We've got to take a quick break.
27:46We'll be right back with more of Mark Ruffalo, everybody.
27:48Stick around.
27:58I don't know.
27:58Hey, everybody, we're back.
28:00With Mr. Mark Ruffalo.
28:02You've got a new movie coming out called Crime 101.
28:05That's right.
28:06Tell the folks what it's about.
28:08It's about a jewelry thief who uses the 101 freeway
28:14as his corridor of heist.
28:16In LA.
28:17In LA.
28:17It takes place in LA, 101 freeway.
28:20And it's a real cat and mouse kind of mano a mano.
28:28But we have Halle Berry between us,
28:33who's just one of the great goddesses.
28:37And you also, you reunite with Chris Hemsworth in this,
28:40your old buddy from, uh, you know, Hulk and Thor.
28:45Is it, is it hard?
28:46Wait, wait, wait.
28:48That's me.
28:51Yeah, we know.
28:52We can see.
28:53Yeah.
28:54Yeah.
28:55That guy can ride a horse.
28:56That guy can ride a horse.
28:58A horse could, a horse could ride him, actually.
29:00He's a horse whisperer.
29:03Well, we have a, we have a clip right here.
29:04Uh, it's, it's you and Chris.
29:06What's, what's happening here?
29:07What do we need?
29:07Okay.
29:08So, uh, we're finally meeting up.
29:10Um, we've, I've been on his tail the whole time.
29:15And we meet up in this car.
29:19And neither of us knows who the other is.
29:22We know that we're close to each other,
29:25but we don't realize how close we are in this scene.
29:29And there is a kind of, um, uh,
29:34we're sort of sniffing each other out through the scene,
29:39thinking we may be the ones we're afraid of coming across,
29:44but not entirely sure.
29:47Yvonne?
29:49When I was a kid, I dropped about having a Mustang.
29:56Like Steve McQueen?
29:58Yeah.
29:59Yeah, Steve McQueen.
30:03Funny, a guy your age wouldn't normally know who Steve McQueen is.
30:08Where I grew up watching those movies.
30:12What's your favorite?
30:14Uh, I'd say, uh, Bullet, you know, The Chasers.
30:24Yeah, mine's Thomas Crown Affair.
30:27The Queen plays a high-class thief.
30:31First time I saw that,
30:39I didn't realize you guys didn't know each other.
30:41That's great.
30:42That's beautiful.
30:43It works, right?
30:44Yeah.
30:45It works, right?
30:47Mark Ruffalo, it's so delightful to have you here.
30:50I'm so nice to talk to you again before the show ends.
30:53You've just been a delight to the few chances I've gotten to talk to you
30:56over here, the old show and this show.
30:57Yeah.
30:58Thanks so much for being here, man.
30:59No, thanks for having me.
31:00Love you, man, I'm gonna miss you.
31:01Love you, too.
31:02We're all gonna miss you.
31:03Thanks, Mark.
31:04Crime 101 is in theaters next Friday.
31:07It is Mark Ruffalo, ladies and gentlemen.
31:09We'll be right back with Father James Martin.
31:25Welcome back.
31:27Folks.
31:30My next guest is a best-selling author, podcaster, and editor-at-large for America's Wagazine,
31:36as well as a dear friend.
31:38He's also the official chaplain of the Colbert Nation.
31:41Please welcome back to The Late Show, Father James Martin.
31:43Father, it's good to see you, always good to see you, always have fun when I'm on your podcast.
32:06Thanks for being here.
32:07My pleasure.
32:08A little turnabout is fair play.
32:09You did something this past fall that I'm, I won't say jealous of, because jealousy is a sin, but I admire to the point of pain, is that you met with our new American pope, Pope Leo XIV.
32:24Lovely, love, love, love, lovely fellow.
32:30What did you guys talk about?
32:32Initially, we talked about, uh, ministry to LGBTQ Catholics, which is part of my work.
32:39I know Francis, I know Francis, the previous pope, had been open to, uh, to expanding that ministry.
32:46What's, what's the word on, uh, what Pope Leo has to say about that?
32:49Yeah, the message I got from him was that he's, uh, continuing Pope Francis' mission and message of welcome and inclusion, and he wanted that, uh, to be broadcast.
33:00Now, it's no secret, I was just, uh, last week I was on Seth Meyers' show over on the NBC, and he asked me who am I, the guest I want to have before the show's over, and I said, well, I would like to have the pope on.
33:10Mm-hmm. I am, you know, I, I am, I am a Catholic, uh, I, I, I, I mean it, and so I see, so that's, I hear, I hear, I hear is the pope Catholic, I know the answer to that one, and, uh, do you think he'd be a good guest?
33:23I think he'd be a very good guest, yeah.
33:25Okay, great. Yeah.
33:26I mean, he's no Jim Martin, but, uh, he's pretty good.
33:29He has lots of say.
33:30Yeah.
33:31Yeah.
33:31He's pretty holy.
33:32Yeah.
33:33You put in a, his, put in a good word for me?
33:36Uh, sure, we live in hope, right?
33:38Mm-hmm.
33:40Exactly, exactly, father.
33:45Exactly.
33:46Uh, okay, you've got, you've got a new memoir here.
33:48I always enjoy your books.
33:49This one's called Work in Progress, Confessions of a Busboy Dishwasher, Caddy Usher, Factory Worker, Bank Teller, Corporate Tool, and Priest.
33:58Okay, that's a, that's a heck of a resume.
34:01I'm curious, what job taught you the most?
34:04I learned the most from being a busboy dishwasher.
34:07All right, what'd you learn?
34:08I learned, um, how not to treat people, because I was treated poorly, uh, and-
34:13Everyone should work in service for a while, I think.
34:15No, I think that's right.
34:15Uh, I was-
34:16Yeah.
34:17Yeah.
34:17I was on the low end of the, you know, the job, uh, ladder, uh, and had no power, and was 15 years old, and, you know, some people treated me nicely, but you learn when you're mistreated, you say to yourself, I'll never treat someone like that.
34:32So I learned a lot about kindness and, and humility and, you know, not being mean.
34:37Did that feed into, like, when you actually, uh, took the holy orders, like when you went to go be a priest, did being, uh, a busboy somehow inform that?
34:46When I was a Jesuit novice, people actually said to me, you wash dishes very well, and I said, I'm a professional.
34:53Okay, the book, uh, okay, the, the book is full of wonderful anecdotes, and one of them involves this, you brought a, uh, a visual aid.
35:00Thank you for very much. Um, who is this miscreant at the bottom of this ashtray right here?
35:05That is nine-year-old Cub Scout me.
35:07Okay.
35:08And, uh, we made that ashtray in Cub Scouts, so my parents-
35:11Because we grew up at a time when, at school or in the Cub Scouts, you made ashtrays for your parents.
35:18Yeah.
35:19Yes.
35:20Because everybody smoked.
35:22Everyone smoked.
35:22And, or your guests smoked.
35:24Right.
35:25Um, and so for 50, 60 years, my parents had that, and they would stub their cigarettes out of my face.
35:30That's love.
35:32That's right.
35:33That's love.
35:34Um, uh, you, you write about the moment in this book when it, it inspired you to become a Jesuit.
35:40Mm-hmm.
35:41Um, what, what was it, and I'm, and before you even explain what that moment was, explain to people who don't know, like, what is, what is the, uh, what is the calling specifically of a Jesuit?
35:52Well, we're a Catholic religious order.
35:54Um, we take vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.
35:57We're probably best known in the U.S. for our schools, you know, Boston College, Fordham, Georgetown.
36:01Okay.
36:02And so what was this moment that inspired you to take that life?
36:06I was working for GE, uh, formerly Gray Company, uh, as a corporate tool, as I say in the book.
36:11And, uh, so you were working for the man.
36:14I was, right, uh, and, uh, I wasn't very happy, and I didn't see a way out.
36:19I had gone to business school, and I came home one night, and I turned on the TV, and there was a documentary about Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk, who I know you know.
36:25Yeah.
36:26And, yeah, shout-out to Thomas Merton.
36:28And, um...
36:29We have one Trappist here.
36:30That's why they only clap.
36:31They didn't, they didn't say anything.
36:33And, uh, uh, the, the documentary I saw was so compelling, it really prompted me to think about changing my life, and I read his, uh, autobiography, and, you know, one step led to another, and in a couple months, I was in the Jesuits, so.
36:46One of the things I love from Seventh Story Mountain by Merton is that he talks about that we think ourselves are our achievements, that we clothe ourselves in our achievements in order to give the self that we don't and not know form.
36:58Right.
36:58So that we might seem to be something or someone to the world.
37:02Were these other things, the, the busboy, the dishwasher, the cat, the usher, the factory worker, specifically the bank teller and the corporate tool, were those forms of, sort of, aspiring for achievement to make a self?
37:14Yeah, that's a great question.
37:15So Merton talks about, as you say, the false self that we kind of clothe ourself with to sort of pretend that we're cool.
37:21I think when I was at GE, I was trying to pretend that I was a corporate executive and that I really liked it.
37:26When I saw other people, you know, for whom it's a real vocation, really kind of, uh, be fulfilled.
37:30But it just wasn't me.
37:31And eventually you have to be your true self, which was a great insight from Merton's, which really helped me out a lot.
37:36Well, I am certainly very grateful, uh, to God for my life and for the world.
37:41And one of the things I love about my life in this world is comedy and jokes.
37:45Um, and I'm very moved by the gospel.
37:48Not a lot of laughs in the gospel.
37:50I mean, it says, you know, as Umberto Eco points out, it says, Jesus wept.
37:54It doesn't say Jesus laughed.
37:55But I, I've got a couple of places in there where I see there was definitely some laughter.
37:59And I'm curious whether you've got any moments in there that you think that Jesus was having fun.
38:03Yeah.
38:03Well, first of all, if he's fully human, which he is and fully divine, he means he has a fully human sense of humor.
38:08Uh, there's one passage where he talks about the Pharisees strain out a gnat and swallow a camel.
38:13Right.
38:14And we think, well, that's an interesting image.
38:15Uh, in Aramaic, camel and gnat are gamla and galma.
38:20And so in other words, it's a little like wordplay.
38:22It's a pun, and you think the disciples must have said, oh, that's pretty good, you know?
38:26So, but we, we miss the humor.
38:28And I'm sure Jesus would go, pretty good, I'm God.
38:31That's right.
38:32That's a great joke.
38:33That's right.
38:35I love that Jesus made puns.
38:37He did.
38:37And, uh, scripture scholars tell us that the parables would have been back then laugh out loud funny.
38:42But we don't, you know, we're not first century Judeans or Galileans, so we don't get it.
38:46Yes.
38:46But, you know, he must have had a sense of humor because he's fully human.
38:49I love it.
38:49I think I've discussed this with you before privately is that when, uh, Jesus is walking
38:54across the water on the Sea of Galilee and, and Peter and the other apostles are out there
38:57on the boats doing their fishing and Jesus is like, yeah, come here.
39:01And Peter goes, I believe, and puts his leg over the side and then takes a few steps on
39:05the water.
39:05He's like, I'm doing it.
39:06And then he looks down and sees the rough waters and he goes, pew, like Wile E. Coyote.
39:12Right.
39:12Exactly.
39:14And I got to imagine Jesus was laughing when he picked him up and goes, oh, you of little
39:20faith.
39:20Yeah.
39:20And puts him back in the boat.
39:22A wry smile.
39:23Yeah.
39:23Yes.
39:24Yeah.
39:27I hope he wasn't, I hope he wasn't laughing at Peter, though.
39:30That would have really upset me if I knew that.
39:32That he was laughing at Peter?
39:33No, I said, I hope he's not laughing at one of the disciples.
39:36Laughing with Peter.
39:37Yeah, there you go.
39:38Right.
39:38Yeah.
39:38Much better.
39:39Right.
39:39Right.
39:40Much more divine.
39:41That is one of the problems with comedy, is that somebody's usually the butt of the
39:46joke.
39:47Somebody loses in a joke.
39:48Am I going to hell, Jim?
39:53We live in hope.
39:54All right.
40:00Work in Progress is out now.
40:02Father James Martin, everybody.
40:11That's it for The Late Show, everybody.
40:14Tune in tomorrow, my guest will be Ian McKellen.
40:18Good night.
Comments