- 8 hours ago
Vinnie Jones In The Country - Season 3 Episode 1
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00:00THE END
00:12Look at how beautiful this is, look at this.
00:14Look at that, look at that.
00:15Wow.
00:16I forgot how beautiful it was, mate.
00:18It's quite a big change gone on.
00:20Yes.
00:21There's so much to show you, it's great.
00:25Do you remember the jetty when we, when we done the jetty?
00:28I don't know if I even want to see that jetty again.
00:31You worked your bollocks off on that, nearly killed you.
00:33Yeah, it did actually, yeah, it weren't far off.
00:35I bet there was a lot going on last year, things have changed.
00:38I'm in a better egg space now than I was.
00:40Well, this year will be easy for you.
00:42Yeah, yeah.
00:45Right, this is what I want to do.
00:47I want to put a beach here.
00:48A what?
00:49Beach.
00:50A beach?
00:51Yeah, you know, like you go down the beach.
00:52So it's going to be a man-made beach.
00:54Oh, right.
00:55Right?
00:56We've been filming at Guy Rich's, and he's got a similar thing.
01:00But his is great, and that's where I got the idea from,
01:02and they're all wild swimming in his lake.
01:04Yeah.
01:05So I went, well, I've got exactly the same thing.
01:07He said, well, you need a beach.
01:09Wednesday, I can get 20 tonne of sand and go wallop.
01:12Yeah.
01:13Quartz sand that I'd use.
01:14Quartz?
01:15Quartz sand.
01:16That's the proper stuff, is it?
01:17Well, 20 tonne, we'll start with 20 tonne.
01:19Yeah, and see where it goes, yeah.
01:21Welcome back.
01:22Come back.
01:23Come back.
01:24I'm back.
01:25Woohoo!
01:26And this year, I hit the big 6-0.
01:27Happy ding-dongs.
01:28But I'm not slowing down.
01:29Okay.
01:30Because these arses won't kick themselves.
01:31Do you hear that, Charlie?
01:32My gap might look like paradise, but trust me, it's a hard graph.
01:37Cool wobbly.
01:38And my team...
01:39Calling wobbly.
01:40What?
01:41Let's just say they're unpredictable.
01:42Get off my land, you peasants.
01:43Wobbly, my right hand man, can turn his tools to anything.
01:48New in.
01:49One answer.
01:50My old pal, Patty is on the sparks.
01:51Right, come on then, Glen.
01:52Out of groundwork.
01:53It's going to be a mountain of work, isn't there?
01:54It's Glenn.
01:55And trying to avoid the madness.
01:56You haven't seen me.
01:57I'm not going to see.
01:58I'm not going to see.
01:59Don't know.
02:00I got that out of groundwork.
02:05No problem.
02:06What?
02:07Oh, it's not here.
02:08No problem.
02:09No problem.
02:10No problem.
02:11No problem.
02:12Crazy, it's not here.
02:13OK.
02:14No problem.
02:15No problem.
02:16That's fine.
02:17That's fine.
02:18No problem.
02:19You haven't seen me.
02:20My leading lady, Emma, a.k.a. London.
02:24Slow down a little bit, hon.
02:26And always in tow is my other partner in crime, Pip.
02:30It's not all about you, Pip.
02:33This season, the chaos kicked off early.
02:37I thought I'd got the nod to get rolling on the lake house,
02:41but I've hit yet another bump in the road.
02:43So probably not as much done as you thought at the lake house.
02:48You'll see we ain't started yet.
02:51There's a good reason.
02:53Neighbours.
02:55I've got one person writing letters to the council.
02:58So I can't do anything.
03:02But the good news is there's a little project just over that hill.
03:06What do you mean by a little project?
03:08Well, I had to keep myself busy.
03:09Show me that, if you don't mind, yeah?
03:12Get ready.
03:13Something came up on top of the hill.
03:19What do you mean, something come up?
03:21That farm there in between.
03:24The manor house.
03:30Do you now own that?
03:35No, but look at that.
03:37I've got 17 geysers here today.
03:41There's about seven geysers on the roof.
03:45So it's got the main manor house,
03:47and there's another big party barn.
03:51I'm not putting drains in.
03:52I'm putting, like, rivers in.
03:53I'm going to make this pond larger.
03:56I brought that woodland as well.
03:58Yes.
03:59But do you want to come up and meet the lads?
04:02Oh, no, I don't.
04:04I've just sort of taken it in at the moment.
04:06I can't believe you bought it.
04:07Have you seen that show on telly, Yellowstone?
04:09I have, actually, yeah.
04:10Well, this is the new Yellowstone.
04:15I really want to get in the manor house, get through it,
04:17get it done, and get down the lake house rapido.
04:21And these old buildings run away with the purse strings.
04:24It's very expensive.
04:26Materials are expensive, and labour's very expensive.
04:28So what the idea is, put 20 blokes up there every day,
04:31because I want to get it done quick.
04:35I've got a turnaround car park here, look.
04:37This is week three, look.
04:39And they've stripped this for me.
04:41Yeah, now...
04:43How are we getting on, boys?
04:44Do you reckon you'll be done by the weekend?
04:46Yeah.
04:47They don't even come in weekends.
04:48Five days a week, this.
04:49You're joking.
04:52It's madness, sir.
04:53You know, people running around like little ants here,
04:55there and everywhere.
04:56All you needed was someone playing music,
04:58and it would have looked just like a fairground.
05:00Diggers swinging here, holes dug here.
05:02There's another little staff bungalow, look.
05:05Shit.
05:06Bed there, little living room here.
05:08This is just the tip bit, so I'll go and show you the house now.
05:12I suppose you knocked that about and all, ain't ya?
05:15I've gutted it.
05:16Oh, what a surprise.
05:17The manor house is manic right now.
05:23That used to be a bedroom.
05:25I've never swung so hard and fast in my life.
05:28You are absolutely taking a leak into the wind,
05:33and it's coming at ya.
05:35Do you know what I mean?
05:37But in our case, it's like you're pissing on the boxer's boots,
05:40and he's going bang, bang, bang.
05:42This'll all be lovely and tiled.
05:45And then there'll be a path down there to the helipad.
05:48What?
05:49There'll be a path down to the helipad.
05:52I suppose you've got to have a helicopter, ain't ya?
05:54You know?
05:55Have you got your own personal one, or...?
05:57I borrow one.
05:58Oh, do you?
05:59Oi, I've got friends in high places.
06:02Tip it, yeah, go on, go on, go on.
06:06This is the busiest I've ever seen him.
06:08He ain't even got time to have a cup of tea, really.
06:10And, you know, and he hasn't.
06:12He is all over the place, and he's absolutely full on.
06:15So when you're sitting here,
06:16there's the view with the lake there, look.
06:19Wow.
06:20Right in LA, there'd be going...
06:23Well, it's a million-dollar view, man.
06:25That's a ten million-dollar view, innit?
06:26It's got to be one of the nicest views I think I've ever seen.
06:29That'd be the Surrey hills you can see in the distance there.
06:31That's amazing.
06:36Bagging the manor house sews up the whole valley,
06:39lying slap-bang between the farm and the lake house.
06:45It connects the 2,000-acre plot all together.
06:48You're building an empire, son. That's what you're doing, innit?
06:51No, I'm building a small legacy, is what I'm doing.
06:53Well, it's not that small, is it?
06:55I know he's expecting the worst,
06:57and I'm going to show him the manor house,
06:58and he's going to absolutely crap his pants.
07:01Because it's a big job.
07:02Well, I've got all good news.
07:06You don't have to get your tools out.
07:09So I've got a plan.
07:11Right, okay, yeah.
07:12Yeah.
07:16I think we should let the boys do the building work.
07:22Go on.
07:23I think we've grafted enough for the last two or three years,
07:25and four years...
07:26To be honest, I'm really quite glad that I didn't know anything about that.
07:30Me and you concentrate on the wildlife side of it.
07:37Hey!
07:40Let's have a break for lunch.
07:43Whoa, I'm glad I'm out of it.
07:45I'm so glad I'm nowhere near it, to be honest with you.
07:47If you'd have sat me down and spoke about it,
07:49I generally would have said,
07:50no, sorry, mate, I can't help you.
07:52Because it's just too much.
07:55Right, boys.
07:57How are we getting on?
07:58Nice to meet you, boys.
07:59I'm glad it's you and not me.
08:03Nice to meet you. How are you doing?
08:06And then I'm going to put a bar up there.
08:08Do you know what?
08:09I'm glad you're really happy,
08:10because you know you're not doing anything.
08:16With Wobbs taking a back seat on the tools,
08:18I've been scouting for new recruits to join my crazy gang.
08:22Patty?
08:24Hey, look, he's been to Turkey, look.
08:26He's had his teeth done, has he?
08:27Don't turn up, because the cameras are here, you tosser.
08:30We've got my old mate from school, Patty.
08:33Well, he was the rival school, actually,
08:35but played football against him.
08:37The best number 12 that I have ever seen on a football field.
08:42You never got that done in Watford, son.
08:45We used to call him Splinters,
08:46because he was always sitting on the bench at Watford.
08:49He'll be doing electrics.
08:51Glenn!
08:53What are we doing?
08:54Hi, mate.
08:56Wobbly's in shock.
08:58Taking the grunt out of my ground works...
09:00How are you? You all right? You well?
09:01..is newbie Glenn.
09:03He's definitely got his work cut out.
09:05There's so much to do here for everyone.
09:07Wobbly does not need to worry,
09:08because there will be plenty for him to be marching on with.
09:11I met him about four years ago,
09:13and I literally screw the bed together.
09:16And I'm still here now.
09:17Can you just?
09:18Can you just?
09:19Do you like that?
09:20Just job.
09:21Can you just do this?
09:22Let's see if he's got any air left in a couple of years' time.
09:25It's going already. I'll be out turkey with you.
09:28If there's ever an advert for a package on a lit of turkey,
09:31this is it.
09:32Coffee time, hon.
09:38Yeah, I'm on it.
09:40It's all happening, I'm on it as well.
09:42Yeah.
09:43The more you do on the list, the bigger the list gets.
09:45I know. It's nuts.
09:46It's absolutely nuts.
09:47Well, that's your favourite thing.
09:48Yeah.
09:49It's never getting the list complete.
09:51Finny's up and out about 5am,
09:53and then he'll jump on a digger.
09:56He's full pelt.
09:58Got the old plates spinning, hon, aren't I?
09:59As always, as always.
10:02Finny's got a lot going on behind the scenes.
10:04He's had some family news that's rocked him quite a bit.
10:08But he's doing what he does, and he's keeping swinging.
10:17The plate I've been spinning the longest is the lake house.
10:21I'll let her have a little run, shall I?
10:25She loves it down here, hon.
10:27Held back by me roosting bats and barn owls,
10:31now it's a nosy neighbour
10:33who's complaining to the council about me plans.
10:36Bosh.
10:37There'll be a hedge here.
10:39Finny is chomping at the bit
10:41to get started on the lake house.
10:43What's delaying us?
10:45What we did on the plans,
10:47we came round here,
10:49and we're just, with our hedge,
10:52touching the footpath.
10:53If he hears the word no,
10:57he will rebel.
10:59It, like, sets off some sort of trigger in him,
11:02and he goes into rebellion mode.
11:07There's my footpath, OK?
11:08So, Mr. Commoner walks down here, down his footpath.
11:15He sort of walks a bit like,
11:18you heard about the bloke who brought a suit like that,
11:20didn't fit him.
11:22So he had to walk like that for his suit to fit him.
11:24Um,
11:27on the drawings,
11:29the hedge
11:32came here.
11:34What did my local friend do up there?
11:36Write a letter to the council
11:38saying that we're 12 inches over the footpath line.
11:41So we've had to spend another couple of grand redrawing it.
11:45So what we need to do is create something where we can generate
11:50some money off it when it's done,
11:53to kind of pay for itself.
11:55Yeah. Great idea.
11:57Yeah, you could do that while swimming in there.
11:59You could be out there on your mats doing your yoga.
12:02I do three events down there.
12:04It's fine. All I want it to do is pay the bills.
12:06If we don't make enough money to subsidise everything,
12:10I'll subsidise it.
12:12I want it to be so exclusive it's ridiculous.
12:16But I'm not getting into the weddings and all that bullshit,
12:20you know?
12:22I did something many years ago when Guy was with Madonna.
12:25This guy come to me and he said,
12:27my daughter's getting married, could you ask Madonna
12:31to sing at her wedding?
12:34Right?
12:36Yeah.
12:37So I was uncomfortable.
12:39But I said to Guy, I said,
12:41do you think you could ask her?
12:43He's willing to pay three mil.
12:45You know, for half hour, 45 minutes.
12:47Anyway, Guy come back and he went,
12:49she doesn't do weddings.
12:52Week later, I get a phone call, seven mil.
12:55My daughter really wants her.
12:57So I said to her, half an hour, seven mil.
13:00She went, Vin, I don't do weddings.
13:02Don't do weddings.
13:03That's exclusive.
13:05I do do weddings.
13:07For seven mil, we'll do them every weekend.
13:09The moral of the story here is,
13:11don't earn peanuts when you can earn gold bars.
13:14As Vinny puts it, a lot of plates are spinning.
13:18People have asked if they could stay there,
13:20and that would create some income to pay for the place,
13:22and at some point, something will become clear.
13:28Good chat, hon.
13:30But until then, just nod.
13:32Adios, amigos.
13:34On to the next.
13:35Right now, I'm flat out 24-7.
13:40Trying to keep the dream alive.
13:43I love it when the boys are busy.
13:46But once everybody's chipped off,
13:49then nature comes alive.
13:52Me and my old mate can remember what it's all about.
13:55Oh, there's loads there.
13:56Where is she?
13:57Yeah.
13:59Wobbly loves his wildlife.
14:02Sometimes, maybe over the last year or two,
14:03we've been so bogged down that we've been bricking our way in,
14:08and we've not seen the outside light.
14:09We met enjoying the countryside,
14:12and we've got to carry on the friendship enjoying the countryside.
14:16And they get this last bit of sun in the evening.
14:18This is what I love.
14:20If you just listen.
14:22I've got this app, look.
14:24See this app?
14:26It's the app you've got a birdsong.
14:28Yeah, look, listen.
14:30What I've got is a bird song.
14:32What I've got is a bird song.
14:34It's a bird song.
14:36It's a bird song.
14:37Yeah, look, listen.
14:38What I've got is an app on my phone,
14:40and it will tell you what birds are singing around you
14:44at that moment in time.
14:46Continue.
14:48You'll come back here, come on.
14:50Sound identification, that's it.
14:52You're supposed to go like that.
14:54Yeah.
14:56Oh, here you go.
14:57That's a robin anyway, isn't it?
15:07No.
15:09Oh.
15:1160, 30% here you go.
15:13Robin, told you.
15:14Hey, mate, I brought you down here.
15:19Yep.
15:20You were right on your last legs last year.
15:24I think I pushed you too far.
15:26Yeah.
15:27I think you nearly broke.
15:28I don't want it to come across that he broke me,
15:30because that's doing him an injustice,
15:31because it was never like that.
15:33Looking back, I was very angry last year.
15:36Obviously, I'd lost my dad.
15:37I guess I was kind of angry with the world.
15:39He asked me to do stuff, and he put me under a bit of pressure.
15:42But I know for a fact, if I would have gone to him and said to him,
15:44this is too much for me, mate, he would have pulled the plug on it.
15:47I don't want to disappoint him.
15:49So I put myself under the pressure.
15:51I don't want it to affect our friendship, really,
15:54because I didn't realise, but I think with grief comes anger sometimes.
16:00It does.
16:01I didn't know that.
16:02I didn't know that at the time.
16:03And I think there was a bit of that going on,
16:05and you know when you don't allow yourself,
16:07you don't give yourself time.
16:09I don't know.
16:10You don't absorb it all.
16:11I mean, grief obviously affects everybody so differently, doesn't it?
16:13I mean, you don't know this, but I literally lost my mum last week.
16:19I'm just dealing with that at the moment
16:22and moving forward the funerals next week.
16:27I feel it's important to tell Wobby about my mum
16:30because he does understand the grief process.
16:34Sometimes you want your mates to know to go,
16:37yeah, I got it.
16:39I got it.
16:40And we'll process it together.
16:43I just can't believe I'm never going to see her again.
16:45I kind of can see now why he's gone from being very busy
16:49to being stupidly busy
16:51to being almost ridiculously busy.
16:54I kind of get it.
16:55It may, you know, it may be his coping mechanism.
16:58You've got to allow the grief in to be able to allow the grief out.
17:01I think I'm controlling it.
17:03I've had no...
17:04No, no.
17:05You're managing it.
17:06I'm managing it.
17:07I process it with swinging
17:09and the faster I'm running and turning,
17:12the more energy I can create
17:15and I turn the bad energy into good energy
17:17and that's how I deal with it.
17:18Come on then.
17:20I'm sorry.
17:21Alright?
17:22I'm sorry to beat mum.
17:23I didn't know.
17:24I didn't know.
17:44Gorgeous, isn't it?
17:45The glisten on the water there.
17:46Absolutely gorgeous.
17:48It's so peaceful.
17:49It really is.
17:52I don't know when it'll be
17:53but I think it'll be lovely here.
17:54It really will.
17:55Yeah.
17:56I think everything that he's achieved so far,
17:58this is my favourite place.
18:01I mean, you know me and him,
18:02we go back a long way
18:03and occasionally we do sit down and talk.
18:05Yeah.
18:06And he mentioned the other day
18:07that he sort of, he's lost his mum.
18:08Yeah.
18:10And it's, you know,
18:12it's a massive thing.
18:13It's massive.
18:14It happened really quickly.
18:16It's not something that anybody prepares us for, is it?
18:18No.
18:19Like, it's not disgust.
18:21It's such a personal thing dealing with grief.
18:24Keeping busy is his way
18:26and sometimes you need to feel your feelings,
18:29not crash and burn.
18:32I think a lot of blokes do it.
18:33You deal with these things in a way that you just keep busy.
18:36Yeah.
18:37So what you're doing is you're delaying the inevitable,
18:39you're delaying the crash
18:40because it's going to come,
18:41you're going to feel that,
18:42you're going to get that.
18:43When he is sad
18:44and when he is, you know, emotional
18:46or when, you know, your head is going that,
18:48what do you lean to?
18:49You lean to your strengths, don't you?
18:51100%, yeah.
18:52You can get everybody together
18:53and everybody going
18:54and it's something that not everyone has.
18:58No, I agree. I agree.
18:59He is kind of superhuman in that way.
19:04Does it ever wear you out?
19:05Now, sometimes I think is,
19:07do I have a stun gun?
19:09Yeah.
19:10Or for yourself or him.
19:12I said that the other day.
19:13Wouldn't it be lovely
19:14if you had one of them little swickies on his shoulder?
19:16And off.
19:19And Vinnie time.
19:20And off.
19:21You'd be lucky, Wobbs.
19:23I'm always on.
19:24And forking out with 20 lads a day on the manor
19:27is making my eyes water.
19:30I'm just going to go and get Glen now.
19:32Oh, the painters are here and all.
19:35We're on a tight schedule.
19:39Hi, boys.
19:40And I'd like to get me money's worth from my new signing.
19:44Glen, I need you to come down the lake then.
19:47Now?
19:48Yeah.
19:49You're doing this, aren't we?
19:50Yeah.
19:52I need your dumper.
19:53Yeah.
19:54And I need, I need the digger.
19:56Can I finish this or not?
19:58No.
19:59I've got a lad, Glen, helping me.
20:01He's giving free jobs and he's like,
20:04you're not here to move the wheelbarrow like this.
20:10I want this.
20:13I've got 20 tonne of sand,
20:15quart sand coming at 2 o'clock tomorrow.
20:18So we're half way, we've lost half a day now.
20:21Where's the time?
20:22Let's go.
20:27Glen's panicking, he thinks it's a big job,
20:28but he ain't been here long enough to stop panicking.
20:32They all panic to start with,
20:33because I do pull them off here, there and everywhere.
20:35I know how hard it is to earn money, even now.
20:41I was on the building site and we never earned what these lads are earning now.
20:46It's frightening.
20:48So you've got to keep them going.
20:50Come on lads, let's do all these jobs.
20:52Little job, look.
20:56Here we are, it's all that sunshine.
20:57We've checked all the bramble, Dave's been in there,
20:59there's no nest or anything, right?
21:00So, from here,
21:02Up to that willow.
21:03Leave a little bit of a ledge so the water don't come back.
21:06See what I mean?
21:07Just like that.
21:08Yeah.
21:09Just like that, Glen.
21:10You're getting it now, Glen.
21:11I want them to be able to walk down,
21:13go in the water like that and then just push off.
21:16Ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:20Be a late one tonight, Vin.
21:21The guy said his took a couple of hours.
21:23Yeah.
21:27This is what it's like working for Vinnie Jones.
21:32One more over there.
21:34The list started off this long and now it's ten times as long,
21:38so it's growing by the day, but it's all good fun and you've got to keep smiling.
21:43You've got to get it done.
21:44He wants his beach to be a notch or two above, guys.
21:50So, we're chamfering it back from the water's edge.
21:55We don't want, you know, massive, deep pockets of sand.
22:00It's starting to look good already, innit?
22:06Perfect.
22:07Well done, boys.
22:08There we go.
22:10Right.
22:11Job complete.
22:12Wasn't too bad.
22:13I'll give you that.
22:14I told you.
22:15It was a couple of hours.
22:18It's hard for me to explain what Vinnie's like to work for.
22:21He's lovely, but it comes at a cost.
22:24He's very intense.
22:26It could only be a matter of time before Glenn tells him to fuck off.
22:30Let's put it up here, Glenn.
22:31Right, can you get Dave on this then, this afternoon?
22:34That's how we roll, mate.
22:35That's how we roll.
22:36But, yeah, that's perfect.
22:37That's going to look an absolute treat there and give a lot of people a lot of pleasure.
22:47Wild swimming.
22:48On a wild beach in Wild West Sussex.
22:52So far, it's fair to say Wobs has done well.
23:07Not a lot.
23:08But I've got a special job up my sleeve for him.
23:11He'll enjoy it.
23:12He just don't know it yet.
23:13I need to connect this pasture to that field over there somehow.
23:20Have it wide enough to get a Polaris through, right?
23:22Right.
23:23I want to try and get a passage through the wood organically without going through with the machinery.
23:32Someone said to me, goats eat anything and plough through the lot.
23:35So I said, okay then, get me a passage right through the wood.
23:38Look at this.
23:39Happy days.
23:40Happy days.
23:41We call it, you know, the goat path because I need to get to that other field without going along there.
23:45I can trickle through here and then no one sees you and you trickle through.
23:49And then you go in and you can get into that next field, you know, down where the bees are.
23:53And you reckon the goats will eat that through, yeah?
23:56Look, what about here, Wobs?
23:59There he goes.
24:00This is it, Wobs.
24:01I've been around Mr Jones now for some time and he's just hit me with the most way out thing that I've ever heard in my life.
24:08I don't know where he's got it from.
24:10Has Guy Ritchie got any goats?
24:12It will work.
24:13It will work.
24:14Do I think it will work?
24:15Absolutely not.
24:16It's all very well, Mr Vinnie.
24:18I want you to chew from this bit to that bit.
24:21But he's going to end up over there, isn't he?
24:23So somehow we've got to fence him, haven't we?
24:25And then keep moving and what?
24:27Yeah.
24:28One...
24:29The trouble is with Vinnie, you cannot change his mind.
24:32How can I say this to be kind to him?
24:35You have to do it to prove he wrong.
24:38All this bramble, look.
24:39How long would you leave him here?
24:40A week?
24:41Three?
24:42Three or four days?
24:43Listen, mate.
24:44Who knows?
24:45He's got it two ways.
24:46We can do it and have a bit of a laugh and fun.
24:52Or he's going to have a strimmer strapped around him
24:55and away you go and sweat your nuts off, Wobbs.
25:00You've got to keep them fenced in.
25:02Yeah, but what I thought, you tether the goat
25:04and it eats everything like that and then you move it on.
25:09Yeah, I find it a bit bizarre, but that's Vinnie all over.
25:13My goat experience is limited, mate. It really is.
25:16That's a non-starter then.
25:17Well, it wasn't my idea to use goats to fucking create a road, was it?
25:22What's going on?
25:23I've just been given me first job of the summer.
25:26We've now got to sort out about keeping goats.
25:29Well, Wobbly's quite negative towards the goats right now,
25:33but then with Wobbly you have to unwrap everything a little bit slowly,
25:38you know what I mean?
25:39Just show him gently and all of a sudden he'll go,
25:43I don't want nothing to do with it.
25:45Oh, they're nice, aren't they?
25:47I'm going to leave this to you two.
25:48Right, see you later.
25:50Sorry, I'm confused. Why?
25:52And they've told him you can use goats to clear brash, yeah,
25:55as in clear a bit of ground.
25:57Yeah.
25:58But...
25:59For a road, he's making a pathway.
26:00But the concept of keeping goats eating
26:02in a fucking straight line from point A to point B,
26:06ain't going to work like that.
26:15In tough times, me connection with nature
26:17has always helped me sort me it out.
26:20Since losing me mum,
26:22it's more important than ever.
26:24There's a coops nest over there in them reeds.
26:26They like building their nests in the reeds that stand up
26:29and they'll put their nests in there and the moor ends.
26:32You can see it there.
26:33Look, the coops come out, see what's going on.
26:35Look, on that far side, see it?
26:36On the water.
26:37So that's a chick.
26:40There's like a baby coop behind it by the edge, see it?
26:43So she's got one left, look.
26:46You kites and buzzers have learnt to skim along, come down,
26:50skim along just above these lakes and pick off the chicks.
26:55It's a shame, it's such a shame.
26:57I think there's always comparisons in life and nature.
27:01For me, always has been.
27:03And, yeah, I think when you see, you know,
27:07a mother protecting the chicks or its offsprings,
27:10it's their natural instinct.
27:12What she's doing now, look, the chick's over on the right,
27:15she knows there's danger here
27:17and she will lead us off that way
27:19and try and get that bloody chick to get in them reeds.
27:22That's what she's doing.
27:24Well, whenever you see animals protecting their young,
27:27it's just a constant reminder.
27:29I think my whole brain and body is still working out
27:34that me mum's got.
27:41Cuphead!
27:44On my West Sussex farm, it's well known,
27:46but I'm only ever still when I'm sleeping.
27:51But today, I'll make an exception.
27:53Whilst I wait for the geezer delivering the sand for me beach.
27:58What do you reckon?
27:59You slept in it yet?
28:00No, she wants to though, Blondie.
28:02I've just got to give her one camping night and she'll be over it.
28:06Guy, Richie's got the nice little jetty and the tent
28:10and all the rest of it on it, which is all lovely.
28:12He's got this lovely white sand.
28:14So I found out what it was.
28:16It's like crushed shells or something like that.
28:19Right, here's Glen with the rakes.
28:22How are you?
28:23Got the tools?
28:24Yeah, being dragged off again, aren't we?
28:25Being dragged off again, yeah, indeed.
28:27Yeah.
28:28Welcome to Vinny's well.
28:29There seems to be a little bit of a pattern developing
28:32that whenever he spends time with Guy, Richie,
28:34he seems to come back with his little, little ideas.
28:37Like the first one was a helipad.
28:40Guy's got a helipad.
28:41Vinny needs a helipad.
28:43So, but he's got two now.
28:45Then there's the beach.
28:46Guy's got a beach.
28:47Vinny's having a beach.
28:48So, let's see what's next.
28:50Who knows?
28:52Oh, there you wait.
28:58I wonder if you take the digger up to that corner
29:01and clear a little bit of gear.
29:03Yeah, it must be something you can do while you're standing around doing it.
29:05Zach, let's go over there for ten minutes.
29:06Yeah, it's not something you can get to do, isn't you?
29:07Come on.
29:08You stay there.
29:09I'll stay here.
29:10Come on, we've already started.
29:11Come on, Glen, let's take him there.
29:15Here you are.
29:17That is a prime example of what he's like.
29:20What did we have there?
29:21Five minutes of doing nothing?
29:26It's a disease, isn't it?
29:27It's got to be.
29:28It's got to be a disease, isn't it?
29:30There must be some sort of diagnosis
29:32that a doctor can give him, you know,
29:34that he just can't sit still.
29:39Um, is it here?
29:40Here we go.
29:41And here comes the sand.
29:42A bit orangey, isn't it?
29:54Bane quartz.
29:56That's builder sand, isn't it?
29:59That's builder sand, isn't it?
30:01Put quartz sand in your Google.
30:06Look, I've hardly touched it, look.
30:08You can see it already, look.
30:09This was a lovely little project.
30:12And this has fucking wound me up.
30:15Look at that lovely white crushed quartz.
30:18That demo yard sends me fucking builders.
30:24I'm raging.
30:25I can't even talk right now.
30:26I'm so fucking raging.
30:28O2FP sand.
30:31It's what you lay bricks with, basically.
30:34I don't know who he's ordered it off of.
30:37But I think what we're going to have to do
30:39is put all this down
30:40and then buy some sand to put on top of it
30:43that you're able to sit on.
30:45When there's a major fuck-up,
30:52it takes me a while to come down.
30:54I don't want to hear about it.
30:56I don't want to be told it's the wrong stuff.
30:58I know it's the wrong stuff.
31:00I just need to breathe.
31:04You know why it was cheaper now, don't we?
31:08Go on.
31:10Fucking hell.
31:13We'll make it work.
31:15Eventually.
31:18All we need is Pamela Anderson sitting on it.
31:20And no one will give a shit what colour the sand is.
31:25Let that settle now, eh?
31:27And then I'll come down in
31:28and I'll see what animals walk across it.
31:30And I'll identify them for you.
31:31All right.
31:32That one there's a hairy-ass plumber.
31:35That one there's an old contract farmer.
31:37Yeah, that's it.
31:39Right, Zach, you can go back.
31:41What were we on, the helipad?
31:43We were.
31:44All right, go back to the helipad.
31:45Do you hear Vinnie's voice in your sleep sometimes?
31:48Well, I don't really sleep a great deal.
31:49But when I do catch a wink, yes, he's in my mind constantly.
31:54Glen this, Glen that.
31:56Right, we've got to go and see this 13-tonner then, Glen.
31:58I think I say his name in my sleep.
32:00No, Vinnie, I think.
32:02But no.
32:04We're not no men, we're always yes men.
32:07I wonder if I put a lovely thing,
32:10water tower on top and have a shower.
32:13An outdoor shower.
32:15Fair enough.
32:16The beach is a washout.
32:17But we'll sort it.
32:26Now that Wobbs is concentrating on wildlife...
32:29Right, what's the postcode?
32:30That's good.
32:31You'd think you'd be up for my organic goat path.
32:34We'll find out.
32:36But he's not convinced.
32:37Yet.
32:38Emma's found his husbandry calls for goats.
32:41It's great because it's a day off for me.
32:43It's like a holiday.
32:44It's fantastic.
32:45Is the idea that me and you are basically going to look after these goats?
32:50Well...
32:51Or is it something he's going to do?
32:52Well, how hard is that?
32:53That's another thing.
32:54We have to ask, like, how do you look after goats?
32:59I'm a bit nervous because I did get buttered by one once.
33:02Lovely.
33:04Nice to meet you, Emma, nice to meet you.
33:05Wobbly, nice to meet you.
33:06Nice to meet you.
33:07Right.
33:08Are you going to come say hello, Glenda?
33:09Oh, hi, Glenda.
33:10I've got to be very, very careful that you don't fall in love with one
33:12and want to take one home
33:13because the only way we're transporting is the back of my car
33:15and that ain't going to be happening.
33:16So that's a no-no.
33:18Bodger's Bend!
33:21I'm a party to this madness.
33:24So, welcome to Bodger's Bend.
33:26This is crazy, isn't it?
33:27Yeah.
33:28These pens...
33:29Uh-huh.
33:30Can they jump this quite easily?
33:31Depends on the goat, but yeah.
33:32Right, OK.
33:34It would be nice to have water
33:35and possibly electricity nearby as well.
33:37He's a logistics man, isn't he?
33:38Yeah, he is.
33:39Yeah, you can tell.
33:40Do they mess in there a lot?
33:42Loads.
33:43Is there?
33:44Oh.
33:47Wobbly is being a bit negative about it.
33:49He's a little bit on the fence
33:51and we need him to jump over that fence
33:55and get amongst the goats.
33:57Is that the sort of goat you've got on your mind, Emma, or...?
34:00I feel a connection with all of them.
34:02I feel like he will embrace it.
34:05He's silly.
34:06He's not playing ball.
34:07Up that way.
34:09This is when they...
34:10We're getting a good insight now, Wobbly,
34:13into how unruly...
34:14It's not so easy, is it?
34:15Yeah, exactly.
34:16...they can be.
34:17Yeah, look, she ain't having that.
34:18And these are the experts.
34:19What chance have we got?
34:20Yeah.
34:21They've got that look about them, innit?
34:22They do.
34:23They have got a stubborn look about them, innit?
34:24I haven't really heard many people say nice things about goats.
34:28Like, it's not like,
34:29Oh, yeah, get yourself a goat.
34:30They're lovely.
34:31There wasn't much positive advice.
34:34It was like,
34:35Good luck.
34:36You know, them sort of comments.
34:37We've got a lot of unruly boys ready.
34:40I think they're going to fit right in.
34:44What I've discovered today
34:45is that they're absolutely lovely
34:47and that I've sort of fallen in love with them, really.
34:50You're a natural.
34:51I know.
34:52See?
34:53I think it's going to work out.
34:56Mark my words,
34:57this is all going to end in tears.
34:59I can see it being disastrous.
35:01We know exactly what we're doing.
35:03You're a very handsome, good boy.
35:09What's next?
35:10Donkeys?
35:12Which one's giving you Vinny vibes?
35:14Vinny vibes?
35:15I know it's that one, innit?
35:16Yeah, look.
35:23Another morning in paradise.
35:29Well, for some of us anyway.
35:33For everyone else, there's jobs to do.
35:35Wobbs has got the goat pen underway.
35:37You all right, mate?
35:39And my number one priority is keeping this lot motoring.
35:43Some big power cables here.
35:47And if you hit one of them, the whole of the village will go out.
35:51And I'm on them like a rash.
35:54That's progress.
35:55To stop cost-spiring.
35:57Yep.
35:58I love it when people come and go,
36:03Oh, wow.
36:04What architect do you use for this?
36:06And I go...
36:09They're all my ideas.
36:11I go to sleep working it out and picturing it and visualising it.
36:17But, let's see where we are in three months.
36:21That'll be the test done.
36:25Yesterday, I decided to cut that out.
36:27Look.
36:28And now it opens it all up.
36:29Have the cooker there.
36:30And then have all units round there.
36:32Much bigger.
36:33Much better.
36:34Loving it.
36:35They're all the tweaks you've got to do.
36:37From time to time.
36:40This is match day for me.
36:41You know, I'm out there.
36:44Who's marking him?
36:45Who's got him?
36:46You know?
36:47Defensive corners.
36:48Attacking corners.
36:49Free kicks.
36:50Goalkeeper.
36:51We're going to do the offside trick.
36:52Right.
36:53Squeeze up.
36:54That's what this is.
36:55For me.
36:56Hey.
36:57If I ain't got this.
36:58I've got to be playing golf.
37:00You know?
37:01I've got to be doing something.
37:02I guess this is what he must have been playing football.
37:06And he was going onto the pitch.
37:07That, I think, is what it is for him.
37:09Every day when he gets up, he wants to walk out that tunnel.
37:12His brain is going like that constantly.
37:14All I can do is really support him right now and take jobs off of him.
37:24Whoa!
37:25What?
37:26Hello, sweetheart.
37:27What?
37:28Oh, my gosh!
37:29You're getting here, aren't we?
37:30Amazing!
37:31There was nothing here last time I saw you.
37:33No.
37:34And I come to see how you're getting on.
37:37So, I have found some goats.
37:40They're arriving in a couple of days.
37:42They are amazing escape artists.
37:44So, Wobbly needs to be on his game here and make sure that these goats don't end up in Guildford.
37:51We need to think about the waters.
37:53Water?
37:54I just need to get out of the water drinkers.
37:55I could order some.
37:56Yeah, you can do.
37:57Yeah, whatever.
37:58Goat.
37:59Goat.
38:00Water.
38:01Goat.
38:02You and I should have a sleepover in here, shouldn't we?
38:07Should we?
38:08Do you reckon?
38:09I don't think Vincent would be too happy, would he?
38:11This is really cute.
38:13I like this.
38:14But you need some hay.
38:15They eat nuts, don't they?
38:17Google searching.
38:18Goat nuts.
38:19See what comes up.
38:23The main thing is that they cannot escape.
38:26Hopefully, we'll be okay.
38:32Did you get your hair cut?
38:33No.
38:34Not everyone, yeah.
38:35I had mine done.
38:36What's up?
38:3718 quid.
38:41They're white socks, Patty.
38:42Are you trying to take a bit of pressure off your teeth?
38:44Yes.
38:45I thought you can reflect on them instead of these.
38:47So, look, just on the whim, I dropped into the...
38:50Do you like my hair, by the way?
38:52Yeah.
38:53I think I look about 22 again, Patty.
38:55I don't think you do, son.
38:57But I've known Patty 50 years.
38:59Patty has seen every single stage of my life, yeah.
39:03Patty's always been part of that family.
39:05When I went through losing tans, Karen, his wife and Patty were very, very, very good to me.
39:14I've been asked Karen, she's ringing me, your missus, is it?
39:16No, it's Roddy Senior.
39:17Everyone's ringing about the funeral, but it's just a tiny, small affair.
39:23All right, Roddy.
39:24I'm sitting right next to Vinnie at the moment.
39:26How many days are the dates for the funeral?
39:28It's not like that, Roddy.
39:30I'm going to go to the church, and then a few of them are going to go for a drink, and I'm going home, Rod.
39:35Okay, Vin, you look, I like a candle on the day, all right?
39:39All right then, Rod.
39:40All right, Roddy.
39:41See you, Patty.
39:42I knew Vin's mum very well.
39:44As sad as I know he is about his mum passing away, he'll have his moments on his own, obviously.
39:50Even no one knows what he'd like there, but he won't show too much emotion, and he'll just get back up.
39:57Keep busy, as he says, keep on swinging.
40:00And, yeah, that's the way Vin gets through things.
40:04It really is an oh, fuck moment when you lose a parent.
40:11It really is.
40:12It's like, oh, here we go.
40:19We're all on different journeys.
40:22With me, you know, this is somebody that brought me into the world.
40:26This is somebody that cared for you.
40:28You've got that mother's instinct.
40:30You've got that mother-daughter, mother-son instinct, haven't you?
40:34You know, them ties.
40:35It's just there.
40:37It's always the dreaded phone call you get, you know.
40:48Just pulled up to work and came for a day's filming, and my sister called and said mum had gone.
40:54Very sudden heart attack.
40:57So sad, I think I am trying to keep the blanket of grief off.
41:03I am trying to do that and being busy.
41:06Like, work is great.
41:09That helps.
41:11No regrets.
41:16She came to America.
41:17She saw me in America.
41:18She saw me, you know, she was there at the FA Cup Final.
41:22She was there at Premiers.
41:24She came out to LA.
41:25She saw the house I built in LA.
41:28Stayed there.
41:29Beverly Hills Hotel.
41:31Pretty Woman Hotel for Christmas Day.
41:33Bought her a house when I was quite young, which I was very proud of.
41:42And I just think, you know, she's reunited with Tan.
41:45Tan was like her second daughter.
41:48So, try and take a bit of harmony out of it.
41:54And I'll walk with that for now.
41:56I'll walk with the harmony.
42:03Dawn in gorgeous West Sussex.
42:22And slowly but surely, someone's getting in my good books.
42:27What's happening today, Glenn?
42:28Oh, it's all going on.
42:29It's all going on.
42:30Obviously, as you can see now, we're just trying to get the tarmac lorry in to get the helipad laid.
42:36With tarmac, time is money.
42:38So, all the time we're not laying is on the bill.
42:43Glenn, let's look at that pad then.
42:46Well, this is all ready for the tarmac in.
42:49You're going to have lights round here.
42:51Lights round here, so they'll come on when they can see them coming in.
42:54Tap them on.
42:55You've got a floodlight over there.
42:57Okay.
42:58Yep.
42:59Um, good.
43:00All right.
43:01All right, Glenn.
43:02Cheers, mate.
43:03I'll be here for a bit.
43:06Just get that nice radius, nice circle.
43:10Probably just trim the edge, cut the edge, dress it all in.
43:14Turf round the outside, and that's us done.
43:17You'll land a jumbo jet on there.
43:21But it'll look all right.
43:25All right then.
43:26So, I'm wondering...
43:31No, that'll be fine.
43:32That'll be fine.
43:33Right.
43:34Crack on.
43:35Come, Pip.
43:36What?
43:37Ha!
43:50Over at the lake house barn, peace and quiet will soon be a thing of the past.
43:56The goats are on their way.
43:58So, Wobbs will need to pray his pens are up for the job.
44:02Are you ready? Can I have a look?
44:03Let's have a look.
44:08Oh, that's very smart.
44:10Looks really good, Wobbly.
44:12Well done.
44:13I think it's perfect.
44:14I think if we get half a dozen big old boys in there, big old goats in there,
44:19I think two or three weeks we'd get through.
44:27Right, can we meet them then?
44:28They've got a whole wood to eat.
44:30I really hope that everyone likes my choice of goat.
44:35You look a bit nervous then.
44:38Will it work?
44:41I'll tell you when I look at the goats.
44:43Oh, here they are!
44:44Oh!
44:45Oh!
44:46Oh!
44:47Oh!
44:48Oh!
44:49Oh!
44:50Oh!
44:51Oh!
44:52Oh!
44:53Oh!
44:54Oh!
44:55Oh!
44:56Little, miniature, furry, lovable children's goats are not going to do it.
45:02Who's that?
45:03Who's that?
45:04Who's that?
45:05Who's that?
45:06Who's that?
45:07Yeah!
45:08Oh!
45:09Say hello!
45:10Come on then!
45:11There they go!
45:12There they go!
45:17There you go!
45:18He's out!
45:19Oh dear!
45:20We've got a scape here already!
45:21Here, Pip's a herder!
45:22Look!
45:23Got him!
45:24Well done, Pip!
45:25We've got a sheep terrier!
45:26Good job!
45:27What are we going to do with all the poo that we take out of there?
45:28Where's that going?
45:29Well, I'm glad you've got it.
45:30I'm glad you've got it.
45:31I can't see that they're going to do what Vinny wants them to do.
45:32But hey-ho!
45:33Let's see.
45:34They ain't getting out of there, are they?
45:35They won't get out of there.
45:36They jump over there.
45:37They should be in the goat Olympics.
45:38Do you like it here?
45:39Are you happy?
45:40There you go.
45:41He's out!
45:42Oh dear!
45:43We've got a scape here already!
45:45Here, Pip's a herder!
45:46Look!
45:47Got him!
45:48Well done, Pip!
45:49We've got a sheep terrier!
45:50Good job!
45:51What are we going to do with all the poo that we take out of there?
45:53Where's that going?
45:54Well, I'm glad you asked.
45:55What?
45:56Because I think we need a nice big wheelbarrow, don't we?
45:59What's this wee?
46:00What's this wee?
46:01Who wants the goats?
46:02You wanted the goats.
46:03Hang on, Vin, can you bear me out here?
46:04Who wanted the goats?
46:05Nothing to do with goats.
46:06I know, but whose idea was it to have goats?
46:08I mean, I didn't want to get too big a goat,
46:10because I don't want them to be butting heads with Vinny and Wobbly.
46:15Well, you've got enough tough old goats on this compound.
46:19No, I didn't.
46:20Whose hat?
46:21No, I didn't know.
46:22Whose idea?
46:23I'm not getting involved.
46:24You wanted the goats.
46:25Vinny's goats.
46:26Emma's goats.
46:27Vinny's goats.
46:28They're not...
46:29It wasn't my idea.
46:30Emma's goat.
46:32This summer, follow me.
46:34Who's that?
46:35Vinny Jones.
46:36Boo.
46:37And the gang.
46:38Season three!
46:39This is a normal day at the ranch.
46:43He's like in a symphony.
46:46For more countryside chaos.
46:48Making a mess everywhere.
46:50Where is that now?
46:51In the shitter.
46:52I would like to renegotiate my contract.
46:54Stop looking and talking to her, James, please,
46:56because you are causing all the problems here.
46:58Let's swap numbers.
46:59As my manor house.
47:00Whatever you're doing with your lorries and diggers, I need you out of here.
47:04Turns into a money pit.
47:06Look.
47:07Thousands are going out the window.
47:09All I'm left with a few pennies in the fucking ashtray.
47:11It's right.
47:12Just wait there.
47:13The nature.
47:14Go on.
47:15Gets nasty.
47:16Fuck.
47:17I am the goat man.
47:18Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai!
47:22But as always...
47:23I can never unsee this now.
47:25Down, down.
47:26The one thing...
47:27Up a bit.
47:28I do guarantee...
47:29Yeah, I like it.
47:30It's gonna be emotional.
47:32Found you, I didn't know it.
47:34You can't make this shit up.
48:04You can't make it.
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