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  • 22 hours ago
If a man is assertive in the work place he is praised. When women are assertive they are called names. In this episode of Essence Live's Kitchen Table Talk Series we discuss ambition and why there is a double standard in corporate america.
Transcript
00:00ambition we all got it we're all pretty assertive and you have to be especially
00:08if you're an entrepreneur or freelancer but there's the word bitch or being
00:13bitchy if you're a little too assertive or asking for what you want how do you
00:18handle that because gentlemen they don't seem to have that problem they're
00:21considered go-getters being in business for yourself I had to do it this week
00:26mm-hmm somebody tried to mess my time and my money in my context things that I
00:30mess with that assert myself and the next day I was second-guessing myself and I
00:34talked to my mother and my boyfriend they were like no you did the right thing and
00:38I thought why am I second-guessing myself so I feel like yeah you're called the
00:42B word when you're a woman when you're a man you're called assertive and it's just
00:45about if you are gonna be an entrepreneur your own brand nobody's gonna hustle for
00:48you like you never apologize for doing the right thing I think you're a B when
00:52you backstep other women yeah when you when you mess with somebody else's money
00:55or time that's when you're B mmm I agree church every day I'm told I mean like
01:01every night every day but mostly I mean most of the time I have an attitude and I
01:11am a bitch mm-hmm and they'll tell you that and be comfortable telling you of
01:15course of course because they think that I'll take it lightly and I'll be like yeah
01:20all right you know I guess and try to change my attitude which only makes me
01:23want mm-hmm to be more ambitious right and only you know I think there there's
01:28sometimes people get upset that you believe in your vision yeah way more
01:33than what they see and you try to explain to them and continue you know and they'll
01:38try to fix your vision and try to tell you how to do things you're like no no I
01:42I know what I see I said what I said right this is what I'm going to do and if you're
01:49gonna ride with me cool if you're not gonna ride with me you can fall off it's
01:52cool don't like that they don't like that that line for yourself they're like I
01:55don't care how much I'm gonna struggle going through whatever if I see the
02:00vision and I know that it's gonna work for me it's gonna work for me you know so
02:04that that word bitch you can call me bitch all day I'll be bitching to the bank but
02:09they often say that too though to make you power down to make you like you said to be
02:13like oh no I don't want to be perceived yeah I don't care I actually had to tell a co-worker
02:17one time I was like if I was a Caucasian male we wouldn't be having this conversation I've
02:22said that before I was like we're having this conversation and that's the sad part about it is
02:26that you know you get that categorization and I think for me especially for all of us as
02:30women of color we have a lot of hurdles to get over when it comes to being in the
02:34workplace being an entrepreneur exactly before you get there because of how
02:38people perceive you and so I never feel bad about having to stand up for myself
02:42or be assertive about something because at the end of the day I know that's what
02:45I'm owed and that's what I deserve and people actually respect you more when you
02:49stand up for what you believe in and you don't take BS from them they're gonna talk
02:54about you the whole uber subway ride home but yes but you check on me
03:00you
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