- 14 hours ago
Essence's Senior Digital Lifestyle and Relationships Editor, Charlie Penn, and Entertainment Director, Cori Murray, sit down with Remy Ma and Papoose to talk about their love.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00so cory i am very excited because remy and papoose are back i feel like you guys are family because
00:08you know you were on our first yes girl podcast our inaugural episode yes i do and it was a moment
00:14in time you guys really we went in about your love you remember it was a moment every time i
00:19say you like remember i'm like i remember you i was i mean because for us it was like we were
00:25doing something we were trying this intimate moment where we really sit down and have the
00:28conversations that we know as black women and men we have with each other and sharing that in a
00:33bigger way and you guys were such a great example of that so welcome back thank you for having a lot
00:38has changed since we've talked to you lots of good news two and a half of us now
00:43and you guys can't see her i don't believe that you have a baby in there i know there's a baby in
00:50there but she's hiding it pretty well you're pretty good you can't hide it it's there like i don't know
00:57i'm just not huge like you know i guess he wants me to be she's hiding there but that just lets me
01:03know your snatch back is going to be so epic thank you yes well i i think some of it is because like
01:10all my pregnancy symptoms is going to my husband like he literally has to use the bathroom every 10
01:15minutes he gained about 12 pounds what do they call it sympathy pregnancy with the men when you
01:23feel everything no it's just because she gets all the food in the world and i end up eating it
01:28because she won't she'll just waste it i'm not wasting i just like i don't really have cravings
01:33but it's just certain things like i want i'll go like and i'll just order everything i'm like
01:37because i want to try some of everything and he just finishes all of everything so it kind of works
01:43out bad for him i think well we've been following along you guys share everything on social media
01:48but i what i want to say is i love how excited your fans are for this baby too we're just as excited
01:55as you guys i see it in the comments we are riding people are like wait another angle yes baby
02:00mackie it's like um what are you calling the baby the golden child yeah that's right there you go
02:05the golden child yes do not encourage it oh my gosh we are waiting in the golden is that going
02:12to be the baby's name he's trying embrace it he's really trying i'm like babe we can call the baby
02:18the golden child but that is not that is the baby's name already the baby has communicated with the
02:23universe let us know it's a golden child
02:24golden child no no that kid sounds like a cute nickname yeah it's really cute
02:32he's crazy i'm with you we're gonna get it we're gonna pull it off so i know this is your first child
02:39together but how is it this time around being pregnant being about to be a new dad again what's
02:45the difference between what you've experienced the first time around so it's a total total 180
02:50um for me i was really young i was a teenager when when i got pregnant with my son who's 18 now
02:58and um i was just in a different space like things that are happening with my body i'm sure it happened
03:04then but i just wasn't there mentally like i was i was basically a kid myself and to be with someone
03:10who i'm loved so very much and i'm in love with thank you and just to be to have someone just so excited
03:18because you know a lot of women they they don't get the the excitement from the partner so to have
03:25somebody who i he probably might even have me beaten the excitement from my he does the most like he is
03:31crazy but you know you're crazy when it comes to the baby but um just to have like that support and just
03:37somebody that's just there like every doctor's appointment every sonogram every i'm surprised he might have
03:44one in his pocket like he carries him around it's crazy and just just to have a plan you know it was
03:51this was something that was planned it wasn't an accident it wasn't something that just happened we
03:55knew every step of the way not only just because we did in vitro but we this is something that we
04:01both wanted together and we're not just planning for now we're planning like for the baby's future so
04:06all of those things are so so different from from the first time what about you
04:11when the baby is born i already told my wife i might faint in the delivery i never fainted in
04:17my life but i might faint for the first time um this is like the best thing that ever happened to me
04:21i'm excited you know i just want to meet this person you know just excited to meet the baby it's been a
04:26long time coming and we had a lot of trials and tribulations obstacles that was put in our way to
04:31prevent us from this point getting to this point so now that we finally here i'm just so excited
04:36and then to answer your question this experience just the best thing ever for me he sits there at
04:41night staring at my stomach like i just want to take it out now i just want to take it out
04:47i saw all the time like bah it's not done yet it's like a dream it's like a dream so when you
04:51just to see it coming to reality i don't i'm gonna be strong but i'm not sure how i can swallow how
04:56i'm gonna swallow that pill you know have you been in the living room before yes i was there for all
05:00my children okay but like i said you know before my wife went away we was planning to have a child
05:06and then unfortunately she blew trial so when she was incarcerated uh she tried to get an appeal and
05:12it was denied so we came to the conclusion that we would have to wait until she come home and
05:15i wanted her to have the baby in there she didn't want to do that and i understand now
05:19but when she came home after seven years we had to wait seven years and she got pregnant then she
05:25got a miscarriage so this was like a miracle baby for me you know and also it completes my marriage
05:31i feel i love that speaking of that you guys are black love goals we always talk about that everybody
05:36knows that it's established you are the king and queen of black love goals i think we can all agree
05:40but what i love is your love was tight and strong and vibrant then you keep going through these
05:46different things and things keep happening but look at you right now it's like i want to know how you
05:51love each other through pain because that's harder um i think that is one of the basis of black love
06:02that is the foundation and in a lot of people think it just has to do with you know our race and the
06:07color of our skin it's not like dealing black in dark times when everything is not bright and colorful
06:12and true we still being able to push through and i think from the very first time we got together
06:17there was always some type of obstacle in our way whether it was sometimes it was horrible like
06:24prison and we were miles away and bars away and bricks and all that other stuff away but then there
06:31were times where it was just work where he was on tour and i'd be on tour or even now where you know
06:37i have to work and he has to work and we we get separated a lot so when we when we're together we
06:43really cherish the times that we're together and i think when you're able to go through those dark
06:50times and those black times and those times when things aren't good that's when your love has to
06:54be as strong as it's easy to love somebody and be there for them when all the bills is paid and
07:00everything is fun and everything's going according to plan but when you know when money not right or when
07:06someone is away or when somebody's sick or when there's just hurt or heartache going on those are the
07:11times that signify to me at least that that personify and how deep in how invested you actually
07:19are into your love a lot of people they see those times and they be like up i'm out yeah i signed up
07:24for this you know those are the times when you're supposed to love the hardest what if it taught you
07:30about loving a black woman because i mean you again goals but you've been through everything with her
07:36you've been through it together what did we learn um i learned that unity is everything communication
07:43is everything you know one of the things that was stripped away from us was our right to actually
07:48interact with each other physically like even when i would visit her they would tell us hey put your hands
07:53on the table so we can interact like the normal couple would but one thing we always had was
07:57communication and when she couldn't call me on the phone we wrote letters to each other
08:01so we always talked and even on the visiting floor we had hours to sit there and speak
08:07so we would take turns speaking even in a disagreement you know communication is everything
08:12hearing somebody out sometimes you can have a disagreement and you will swear to god that
08:16you're 100 right and you will never realize how wrong you are until you let somebody talk
08:22and hear them out and you will really realize like holy shit like did i do that did i make you feel like
08:27well that's one of the rules that we that we have sometimes we get off track but when it gets really
08:32bad we implement it again and he'll talk and i cannot say anything no matter what he says i can't say
08:41anything and then i'll talk and then it's vice versa it gets it gets a little complicated sometimes
08:46because see i'm smart when he's talking i have my pad i'm like this
08:49so when i'm talking he just be sitting there he's like wait can i just say one thing because
08:56i got like three points and if you keep going i'm like nope
08:59excuse me yeah that's one of the things i learned you got to communicate and i always tell like other
09:04couples that i know like we went to a wedding recently and i advised them hey listen it's going
09:09to get tough at times but there's no back door to marriage you know divorce is not an option
09:15and i don't know why i feel like people going to marriages sometimes and they're like if this
09:19gets rough i'm going to get a divorce you shouldn't think like that not at all you know if you listen
09:23to your wedding vows you will realize that's not an option it's the death doors part i want to know
09:27who guys taught you how to love i mean what were your how did you grow up and how are you implementing
09:32that in your own home your own home right now my parents were married since i can remember being
09:37alive you know and to be honest growing up i i wasn't i don't remember the wedding but i always
09:43remember the pictures from the wedding on the wall when my mom had on this white dress my dad had on a
09:47white suit so that made me say hey one day when i grow up i want to get married i want to have a
09:53wife and i would recommend that to all parents you know if you facilitate that type of home for your
09:59child it will install those type of morals values and principles and they say hey one day i want to
10:04get married so answer the question i grew up you know in a married home i grew up totally opposite you
10:11you know i grew up in a single um family home and when i wasn't with my mom my grandmother you know
10:18she was raising us and she was by herself and then i left home really early but i just saw so much
10:26violence domestic violence and child neglect and child abuse that i knew what i didn't want
10:33you know i'm saying i never got that good example of what it should be or picture probably but i knew
10:40what i wasn't going to tolerate i wasn't going to tolerate somebody disrespecting me i wasn't going
10:43to tolerate someone putting their hands on me i wasn't going to tolerate somebody that wasn't going
10:47to be there for me and my children whether they were their father or not and by me seeing all of
10:53those things going up i didn't have the positive but i knew what i definitely didn't want so when
10:58i met my husband it was so funny because i remember when he first told me about you know the
11:03pictures on his wall how his mom and his dad had always been married and then you know i met his
11:08sisters and siblings i'm like wait a minute so you have all had the same mother and father
11:12like wait yeah all grew up in the same house like that was the first time that i'd ever met somebody
11:17who grew up in a home where all of their sisters and brothers had the same mother and the same father
11:22and they were married their whole life and it was just like wow that's dope and i think that's why he's
11:27so respectful of women as well because he grew up in a home with his mom his dad was married and he had
11:33two sisters and was the only spoiled i mean the only boy
11:37well i we love and i know we're saying love a lot in this conversation but that's what it is but we
11:46love that you guys want to showcase your love on your new reality show but can you tell us why is it
11:52so important to you and beyond just like oh this is this but i think about what gabrielle union said
11:56about why she puts her love out with duane wade so much because she kind of wants to change the
12:01narrative around black love is that one of the reasons why or why why did you guys decide to do
12:06first of all i love gab and whenever i see her she's she was like one of the first people
12:10that when i announced that we were pregnant that was just so so receptive and just welcoming and i
12:18didn't i met her before but i didn't know her like that like when the hug that she gave me
12:23and in the the glistening house it was so real she was just like telling me like how
12:28you know it just gives women hope out there and i think when we first started doing
12:32love and hip-hop our goal was just like to show people our love and that you know that we're
12:38different from everyone but when the second season came around and the third one we're like oh we
12:43don't want to do this like people like no you guys have to do it like we kind of need it we kind
12:47of felt like obligated because there's nothing like what we do that's out there they love depicting
12:53us as broken homes and baby mamas and baby daddies and just always cheating and our family is not
13:01like that we have a blended family i came in with my son he came in with children from you know
13:07previous relationships and we've been together since we were in our early 20s and we got married
13:11and we've been through a lot and we're still here so when when the opportunity came for us to you know
13:17finally we've been saying like yo we let us do our own show let us show people like some of the real
13:22things that we actually go through because that we although we have this new baby in the way our
13:27children who are i don't really feel like they're that much children anymore but they're 18 they all
13:33turned 18 this year three of them turned 18 this year and one of them is 21 but we they we kind of
13:39grew up with them so we we're like in this cool space where we're parents but we still kind of
13:46correlate to everything that our kids went through because i remember being 17 very clearly it wasn't that
13:50long ago and and i just think that when when people get to see a different dynamic not just
13:55you know the other people i think our people need to see it too because we we we tend to
14:02depict ourselves in in a negative way because we see it so much so when we walk down the street and
14:09we see couples that are like i love you guys love i love how he loves you i love how you guys look at
14:14each other like they it starts to it actually helps us too what do you think like with like
14:19it's kind of like therapeutic i think i think to be honest with you when we first decided to do love
14:24and hip-hop which was our first reality show i thought people was gonna kill me really like it
14:31happened by default the the reaction and the love that we got the response it totally happened by
14:36default for me because i was like i don't care this is how i am now they knew the younger me as an artist
14:41growing up you know doing them the mixtapes the shows and all the features and all the craziness
14:46they didn't know the side of me who was married and had a family but honestly looking at how you
14:52know unfortunately most people sometimes in the music they depict you know money over holes money
14:57over bitches we know me knowing that train of thought i thought they was going to kill me i was
15:02like yo they're going to hate my guts but this is what it is and and look they the world loved it
15:07it kind of not to cut you off but it kind of speaks to the fact what was it's starving like
15:13how much we need the confirmation i could totally see why gabriel would say that to you because
15:17it is inspiring i mean i'm sitting to you right listening right now i'm like i could find my hope
15:22in the world you know what i mean like i think so especially for single women i know remy i know
15:26they tell you all the time like how do i find a man like that because i think when you find one
15:31that's the question that you get it's so crazy is that i get that from women but more so we've been
15:38getting a lot of guys who come and they're like at first we'll get the few people that'll be like
15:46oh my god you're ruining my life my girl wants me to post her all day like you know pat why are you
15:52doing this you're making it hard for us but that's when it's a crowd of people but when we get the one-on-ones
15:57and it's just us well with so many men will come up to us and like yo you made me look at things
16:01different i want to settle down i want a lot of our friends have gotten married in and since the
16:06past four or five years a lot of our friends have gotten married a lot of you know people that we
16:10interact with have decided to settle down and just change the way that they're living and it just
16:16changes your life a lot of times i think as men they they feel like if i get married my life is over
16:23you know or if i get married i'm gonna be trapped i may be stuck i have to change yeah yeah and the
16:28same thing i have friends too that are scared to death to get married like oh i can't be down like
16:33that but it's really your life is so much more peaceful and so it's like you there's just so much
16:40calm because you know what everything is you know where everyone stands and you're not worried about
16:46checking your phone it's just a miserable it's a miserable way of living when you live in that other
16:50lifestyle yeah it's so bad i feel sorry for some guys listen to him i'll be like yo bro when i get
16:57them one i don't want to embarrass them when i get them one-on-one i'll be like bro stop no but stop
17:02she's 10 steps ahead of you stop you gotta keep preaching that because i hate to see a grown man
17:07talking about his relationship fears i'm like they don't when they get it though literally we've had
17:15grown man some of the most quote unquote bachelors players in the world when they change over and
17:21they come and they're like yeah i'm on my black love i'd like you to meet my wife we be sitting
17:26there dying like oh you finally came over to this welcome to the other side welcome to the club you
17:32like it right and and i think when you set the example like that sometimes people be just like like
17:39me i wasn't given that example i didn't know it was possible and then i think with women
17:43we put so many expectations on a man we have like this laundry list he gotta be tall his eyes gotta be
17:51like this full lips gotta make this amount of money no kids no this like i used to have that list like
17:57i had a son i was like i don't care if you got kids it's out of here i don't want to deal with your
18:01baby mama you know what it is but women like y'all as women y'all are so amazing y'all have so many
18:07qualities but men don't know they don't know they think they have to go from woman to woman to woman
18:13just to satisfy satisfy themselves i'm gonna give you an example a woman is more precious than a
18:20treasured black pearl buried deep within the ocean's waters the the diver who discovers this example of
18:27art wealth and beauty is a happy happy man see gold and precious pearls exist but the knowledge is not
18:36known to so many of us because we don't take the time to discover it if you just take your time out
18:40and be loyal and faithful and honest to your woman you will realize she has so many qualities you will
18:45never know a woman's full potential if you don't lead by example if you let a woman know that you're
18:52there for her you're going to be loyal you're going to be faithful you will get that in return
18:56i think so many men are discouraged and they don't have that confidence or that patience to
19:01figure it out i think that should be the title of your book
19:05remy can write the forward thank you so much and we'll accept a percentage
19:13thank you for the show meet the mac it's come out october 1st october 1st 9 p.m more goals on goals
19:23real quick what else can we find out about baby who are the godparents what's the nursery look like
19:28what's we're excited we need we haven't even thought about godparents did you think about
19:32godparents i don't like argue with you about it oh my gosh i can't really believe that y'all really
19:38argue let me just put that out there first of all the kids think it's so funny like like especially
19:45my daughter who's you know that i that i gained through my marriage she thinks our arguments are
19:52the funniest like i'll come in so i'll be like why is my cookies that i had in the car in the house
19:57she'd be like i don't know daddy brothers in here but but these are my car cookies these are the
20:01cookies that i need in the car so in case i'm caught in traffic so then i'll go to him and be like why
20:05do you he's like you're really gonna go this hard over some cookies car cookies i'm like yes because
20:09when i'm in the car you eat all my snacks and i'm stuck there and i have nothing and me and the golden
20:13child are hungry so then it'll carry on to the next day he'll come out and he'll go to put on his
20:17jacket and the sleeves is cuffed he'll be like hmm the sleeves are cuffed you wore my jacket
20:21and i'll be like yeah he'll be like yeah you can wear my jacket but i can't eat your cookies it's
20:25like your jacket is fine my cookies are in a toilet sewer somewhere like what is like those are the
20:30dumb arguments we don't really have serious arguments i believe it but they be serious at
20:35the time like and you still haven't replaced my cookies well we remain in awe of y'all's love and
20:40how real it is and we appreciate it keep doing it keep shining thank you for coming back to the show
20:45we'll be back we'll be back after the show is on we'll come back and we'll get up
20:49make sure you guys give us a critique yes and the golden child can make their first podcast
20:53oh my gosh if he lets it stay where it is for a little while long and keeps trying to steal it
20:59out like coach it out yes please thank you guys so much
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