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On this week's episode: Teyonah Parris dishes on the new season of 'Survivor's Remorse' and her character's decision to go natural, Morris Chestnut steps into the Steam Room, Tamera Mowry and Loni Love give relationship advice, we hit the streets of
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00:00Coming up on Essence Live, Morris Chestnut steps into our steam room and talks all things Rosewood.
00:09And the beautiful and talented Tayana Paris, she talks a little Survivor's remorse.
00:13And of course, that big upcoming Spike Lee film, Chirac.
00:17Lonnie Love and Tamira Mowry-Housley stop by and talk a little love, a little relationships.
00:21And they keep it very real.
00:23Rotimi is on Slade or Shade.
00:25Looking pretty delicious, I must say so myself.
00:28Don't go anywhere because Essence Live starts now.
00:43Welcome, welcome, welcome to Essence Live.
00:46Thank you for joining us for yet another fabulous, fun-filled episode.
00:49I, of course, enjoy hearing from each and every one of you.
00:51So please let me know via Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, using the hashtag Essence Live.
00:57Your thoughts, feelings, things you want to see on the show, any comments you may or may not have.
01:02But of course, keep it cute, keep it clean, keep it nice.
01:04But don't forget to hit us up, hashtag Essence Live.
01:08All right, so later on in the show, Slade or Shade, Tia Mowry vs. The Barbs, preteen boys modeling women's clothing,
01:15protection over privacy in the schools.
01:17We are going to touch upon all of that and more.
01:20But first, I want you to hear from my girls, Tamera Mowry-Housley and Lonnie Love,
01:24as they take your questions on love and keep it very, very real.
01:31What's up, Essence Live?
01:32I'm at a new location today, the beautiful atrium here at the Time and Life building.
01:36Joining me today are the hosts of The Real, Miss Lonnie Love and Miss Tamera Mowry-Housley.
01:41How are you?
01:42Pretty good.
01:43Glad it ain't raining.
01:44I know.
01:45It actually feels good up here, though.
01:48Congratulations on a new season.
01:50What's different about going into season two versus season one?
01:54Well, I mean, I don't think we're as nervous.
01:56I don't even, yeah, I don't even think you were nervous to begin with.
02:00Yeah, I think we found our groove, and I'm just really excited.
02:04I can't wait.
02:05We really want to thank the fans for, you know, giving us this extra chance.
02:09We're going to still have the fun that we've had, and, you know, we're going to reconnect.
02:14I mean, Tamera has had her baby.
02:17I know.
02:17Oh, thank you.
02:18She's so amazing.
02:19Lonnie's been there, you guys, since day one.
02:22Lonnie was my cheerleader going into surgery because I had a C-section.
02:26Literally, I turned to the left as I was walking in, and all I saw was Lonnie going, you can't do it!
02:33Come on!
02:34Everybody needs a good cheerleader.
02:36Yes, and she's amazing.
02:37We posed a question to our audience because they, everyone loves you, and that you guys keep it real.
02:42Oh, Lord.
02:43And I want your honest advice, honest opinions.
02:45I want you to keep it real.
02:45Okay, that's all we do.
02:47Nika Baby 04 says, I've been dating a guy for 10-plus years, and we've been engaged for three years, but every time we set a wedding date, he postpones it.
02:58What should I do?
02:59Girl.
03:00Lonnie, you have your Lonnie Love Corner, which is an amazing segment on The Real.
03:05Please take this one, Lonnie.
03:07You better go on Tinder right now or Christian Ming.
03:10Swipe.
03:10You ain't married.
03:11If it's been 14 years or, you know, a combination, he's just, he's getting cold feet, and you ain't getting no younger, so go get you somebody that's going to make the commitment that you want.
03:22Absolutely.
03:23What I see is I see a man who's afraid to commit.
03:28Well, Tamara and Lonnie definitely kept it all the way with 100.
03:32I don't even know if that's the slang that the kids are still using, but that's what I'm going to use.
03:35And right now, joining me in studio, I have Charlie Penn.
03:37She is our love and relationships expert.
03:41How are you doing?
03:42I'm good, Dana.
03:42How are you doing, darling?
03:43I'm doing fabulous.
03:44I said expert, but you're also an editor here at the magazine.
03:46You have your own blog, at Man, Wife, Dog.
03:49So you're like all things love and fabulosity.
03:52I live love.
03:52Are you ready to take some of these questions from the Essence audience as well?
03:56Yes, let's do it.
03:56All right, so we're going to jump right in.
03:57Some of these are so good.
03:58They're so juicy.
03:59I'm ready.
03:59Okay, so this one is for the singles.
04:01Okay.
04:01At True Texas Gal posted, it seems like all my friends are getting married and having kids on Facebook
04:06slash Instagram.
04:07And I'm still single.
04:09When I meet the right guy, I don't want to waste any time.
04:11How fast is too fast to tie the knot?
04:14Now, that's a common problem and a really good question.
04:16Okay.
04:16So I get you.
04:17I hear you.
04:18Honestly, there's no timetable when it comes to love.
04:20No timetable.
04:21I've seen women end up with a husband and a baby in less than a year from when they were
04:25single.
04:26Or I've seen couples wait like five or ten years until it was the right time for them
04:29to get married.
04:29Right.
04:29What I will say is it's about your intention.
04:32So if you are sure that you love the man and not the idea of being with him, then you're
04:37good to go.
04:37I think there's two things you said.
04:39One, for them.
04:40You said five to ten years.
04:41You're like, oh, it works for them.
04:42You have to do what works for you.
04:43Exactly.
04:44You know what I mean?
04:44Not everybody's pace is for everyone.
04:46And the intention.
04:47Like you say, you could end up in a really bad relationship or a really bad circumstance
04:51if you're just trying to like, hold up, I got to check this box.
04:53I feel adamant about this because everyone's pressuring me right now to get married.
04:56So you get it.
04:56And then you'll end up taking one of those divorce selfies everybody's talking about,
04:59right?
04:59Like you don't want to be, I mean, yes.
05:00The divorce selfie?
05:01The divorce selfie.
05:02That's a whole other conversation.
05:03Hashtag no bueno.
05:04Okay.
05:04So now we're moving on to the next one.
05:06This is for all of you out there that are in relationships.
05:09At Diane The Most, and yes, that is her name, Diane The Most, wrote, I caught my man several
05:14time snooping on my phone, even though he uses the excuse that he's playing a game.
05:19How should I approach this without letting him think that I am cheating?
05:23Mmm.
05:24Okay.
05:24So she wants him basically to stop touching her phone.
05:26I get it.
05:27Okay.
05:27So Dana, there's trust, there's transparency, and then there's just trickery.
05:31So she trusts him with her private phone.
05:33She's transparent unless she's letting him use it, right?
05:36Right.
05:36Without the code on to play a game.
05:38But he's tricking her because he's not really just playing the game.
05:41He's going through her emails and her texts and all that.
05:43That's not cool.
05:43So now it's his turn to prove that he's trustworthy.
05:46I don't understand.
05:46You don't have a phone?
05:47You know, and he can download the game on his phone.
05:49But if she's opened up her life to him and she's proven that she trusts him and she's
05:52trustworthy, it's okay, it's time for him to do his part.
05:55And I think she should maybe reevaluate if this is the kind of booze she wants in her
05:59life.
05:59Oh, absolutely.
06:00And I think it's time to put a passcode on your phone, honey, and download the game.
06:03Oh, you know, that's going to a whole other problem.
06:04Yeah, I mean, no, but honestly, at this point, she opened those doors.
06:07Right.
06:07And he went in too far, you know?
06:08So you have a right to privacy, even in a relationship where you trust each other.
06:12You can still have your space.
06:14Everybody needs that.
06:14I agree.
06:15I completely agree.
06:16And next up, we have another relationship question.
06:18Okay.
06:18At She Too Pretty For Life posted, I've been dating this guy and I'm falling in love with
06:22him, but I don't care too much for his two kids.
06:25Oh.
06:26How do I express that to him?
06:28Um, sweetie, you don't.
06:29You don't.
06:29Okay?
06:30You don't.
06:30A man and his children is a package deal.
06:33If you aren't into his kids, then you shouldn't be into him, and he won't be into him if he
06:37loves his kids.
06:38So why don't you just, yeah, next question.
06:40I mean, that's just like a no-brainer.
06:41Yeah, this is not like a door.
06:42You know, unfortunately, like, you know, you can't control when someone becomes a father
06:47or a mother, and if you don't like that about them, then you don't like who they really
06:51are.
06:51Can you imagine the backlash we would get if this was a reverse scenario?
06:55Oh, of course.
06:56She would be fair.
06:56She'd be like, girl, and he told me he doesn't like my kids.
06:58He's horrible.
06:59Leave him.
07:00Leave him.
07:01Exactly.
07:01You know what I mean?
07:01And we would say, you know, game over.
07:03Yeah.
07:03So yeah, sweetie, just find a guy that works for you.
07:06I completely, completely agree.
07:08And speaking of which, more relationship news.
07:10For those of you who are in a marriage searching for an argument-free marriage, we have author
07:14Fawn Weaver joining us.
07:15She sat down with you a little bit earlier as well, Charlie.
07:18Yes.
07:18She's in.
07:18Absolutely.
07:19Which issue?
07:20It's just, you have a feature coming up?
07:21Yeah, in the upcoming, in the October issue, I'm so excited about.
07:23Fawn chose three couples.
07:24My husband and I joined in.
07:25Okay.
07:26And she gave us some tips on how to achieve an argument-free marriage.
07:29And we did a one-month trial.
07:31Uh-huh.
07:31And we tried out some of her tips and tactics, and we kind of wrote about how it went.
07:34So it's a really good read.
07:35Fawn has some great advice.
07:36Awesome.
07:36All right.
07:37So let's hear a little bit more from Fawn Weaver.
07:42Hi, this is Fawn Weaver, the author of The Argument-Free Marriage.
07:46Charlie went to the streets of New York and asked New Yorkers, what was their most frequent
07:50arguments with their spouses?
07:52Let's see what they had to say.
07:54Well, he wanted to stay in a lot, and I wanted to go out and have fun.
07:57So it was a conflict of that.
07:59You wanted to spoon.
08:00You wanted to party.
08:01No, I'm just kidding.
08:01Well, not party.
08:03Just go out on dates.
08:04You know, deciding what to do.
08:05Like I said, she has an activity she want to do, and I'm not really feeling it, or vice
08:09versa.
08:10We might argue about that.
08:11Because me and her live in two different states, you know, the long-distance thing.
08:17So spending time seems to be a big issue.
08:20There's a couple things to think about.
08:22Number one, you have close to 1,500 minutes on any given day.
08:28Is there a reason you cannot figure out what to do with 60 minutes together?
08:32A daily ritual is something that should happen for anyone in a long-term relationship.
08:39Something that you do every single day.
08:40It could be coffee together.
08:41It could be going for a run.
08:43But something that allows you to connect so that this does not boil up into an argument.
08:48But do I think this is worthy of an argument?
08:51Absolutely not.
08:52Is it worthy of a conversation?
08:54All day long.
08:55So who do we have next?
08:56What do you guys argue the most about?
09:00Exploring sexually.
09:02Oh, really?
09:03Yeah.
09:03Do you agree?
09:04Yes.
09:05Sex, you know.
09:06Of course.
09:07Whether you're in the mood or not, you know, stuff like that.
09:10This one is a tricky one.
09:11It's a tricky one because it is so different for every couple.
09:16No two couples are alike.
09:18You're talking about one person having a safe and the other person having the combination or not.
09:24I would recommend two things to at least the couples that we've seen.
09:27The first is to explore different times of the day.
09:31I know it may seem odd and a little too simple.
09:34But for women, when we have a lot of things on our mind, which sort of happens the moment we're fully awake,
09:40then all of a sudden our mind starts going and the last thing we're thinking about is sex.
09:45So guys, here is a hint.
09:48Roll over in the morning before our head starts going and then start kissing us.
09:53Let's take a look at another one.
09:55Texting.
09:56Texting.
09:56Phone communication, definitely.
09:58How so?
09:59The lack of it, if anything.
10:01If you text, if I text you right now, you respond four hours later.
10:05And I don't think that's proper.
10:06I think if you have a phone, you might not respond, you know?
10:08All right.
10:08So let's just clarify.
10:11Texting is not communication.
10:14True communication, actually having discussions.
10:17That takes a voice.
10:19And the reason it takes a voice is because just as you hear tones in my voice now, there's changes, there's inflections.
10:26Text messages don't do that.
10:28You can put as many emojis behind a text as you want, and it just doesn't do that.
10:33But in the case of this gentleman, it's very simple.
10:36She's just not that into you.
10:38So move on to someone who is.
10:40Friends, you know, what is a type of limit that we should have?
10:44About her ex-girlfriend.
10:45Ooh, the ex-factor.
10:47Definitely her ex-girlfriend.
10:48She's always talking about her.
10:49She's always bringing her up.
10:50She just brought her up five minutes ago.
10:52Once you're married, you have to really focus on the principles.
10:54Uh-huh.
10:54And certain people just got to get cut off, and that's it.
10:57This one is a tricky one for a lot of people.
11:00For this particular person, I would advise, move on.
11:04She's not over her ex.
11:06Just keep it moving.
11:08For those who really do have a true relationship where you have committed to be together until the end of time,
11:14my recommendation may seem extreme, but it is what it is.
11:18Cut them off.
11:20Your relationship with your spouse now supersedes any other relationship you have.
11:25And so if that relationship with an ex makes them uncomfortable,
11:30my independence and my boyfriend feeling as though I don't respect him
11:37because I don't listen to him, whatever that means.
11:42So I like this gal.
11:43She's strong-willed.
11:44She's opinionated.
11:45Here is the key.
11:47It is mutual respect.
11:49That respect has to go both ways.
11:51So if he is saying he doesn't feel respected, the question becomes why.
11:56This is not worthy of an argument.
11:57This is worthy of a discussion.
11:59So when you're looking at something and saying, I am strong-willed.
12:03I am independent.
12:04What does that look like to you?
12:06What does that feel like to you?
12:09And then you have to ask that person that you're with, what does that look like and feel like to them?
12:14Thanks, Charlie, for hitting the streets of New York and getting some great answers to some tough questions.
12:20The argument-free marriage is in stores now, and I hope that this time today showed you that everything is kind of simple.
12:29Don't sweat the small stuff and have a conversation that allows your relationship to last a lifetime.
12:38Thank you so very much, Fawn, for all of that advice, and thank you, Charlie, for joining us.
12:42You're so welcome.
12:42And I believe you're sticking around for a little sleet or sheep later on in the show.
12:46It's always going to be a good time.
12:48And of course, please pick up an Essence magazine anywhere, newsstands, have them sent to your house, go borrow your sister's copy, and check out Charlie and Fawn's feature.
12:56But first, the annual Essence Street Style Block Party is just 10 days away.
13:00It is going down at the Dumbo Archway.
13:02The soulful and stylish Andra Day will be performing.
13:05So many of you, many of you, have already RSVP'd on Facebook, and here's a little taste of what you can expect.
13:11Check it out.
13:11Last year, Essence made its mark on Fashion Week with our first-ever Street Style Block Party.
13:23This year, all of the energy.
13:25It's exciting to come out and celebrate these style icons.
13:29All of the fun, all of the fashion returns.
13:32There are no rules in the street.
13:34The 2015 Street Style Block Party.
13:36For more information, head to Essence.com.
13:44Moments.
13:45It seems like they only happen when you least expect them.
13:48Points out all these really cool places.
13:50And as soon as you notice some next-level cuteness,
13:52Oh, my gosh.
13:54Blossy!
13:55It's over.
13:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
13:57No, really.
13:58It's over.
13:59I didn't get one.
14:00No, it's okay.
14:01So you can keep missing the moment, or you can change the way you take pictures.
14:07The Samsung Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge with a quick-launch camera.
14:19Hey, what's up?
14:19It's Morris Chestnut, and I am in the Essence Steam Room talking about Rosewood.
14:24The show is based in Miami, and there is a lot of hot, fun, sexy, steamy scenes.
14:32Well, welcome, Morris.
14:33On a woman, do you prefer heels or flats?
14:37On a woman, I'd say heels.
14:39Very sexy to see a woman in heels.
14:42Now, Morris, what do you wear to bed?
14:45Sometimes, it depends on the night.
14:49Normally, I wear, like, some pajama box.
14:51Yeah.
14:52That's the one.
14:52With so much praise, how do you keep your ego in check?
14:57If I take a good thing that someone says about me to heart, then I have to take a bad thing
15:03that someone says about me to heart.
15:04You know, it is flattering.
15:07How do you prepare for a steamy sex scene?
15:10Ooh, that's a good one.
15:12How I prepare for a love scene, it varies.
15:14But just to get me in that headspace I listen to, R&B, love song.
15:18What type of music puts you in the mood?
15:25From Anita Baker, Mary J, Jodeci, Boyz II Men.
15:29They don't make music like that.
15:30It's all rap.
15:31And I love rap music, but you can't be passionate to rap music.
15:35Yeah.
15:36What do you love most about black women?
15:40Ooh, that's a very good one.
15:42I love the strength.
15:43I love the courage.
15:45A lot of times, honesty.
15:47There's so many different things.
15:48I can't name them all.
15:49Excellent.
15:50Okay, Morris Chestnut, giving me a steam room.
15:58I kind of wanted to see you in that robe.
16:00But next week, we will have Sanaa Lathan and Michael Ely in studio.
16:05And hopefully, ladies, I can get Michael to put on that robe live in studio for you.
16:10Now, joining me, I have the beautiful and talented Tiana Paris.
16:14How are you?
16:14I'm so well.
16:16Thank you for joining us.
16:17This is your first time to Essence Live.
16:18I hope you know we're going to make you a key so that you can come back anytime you want to.
16:23Congratulations on all of your success.
16:24Thank you so much.
16:25And I want to take a step back because we know you from Mad Men as desegregating the office,
16:30the strong, silent woman.
16:31And, of course, we know you from Survivor's Remorse and Dear White People.
16:35But we don't really know much about you, the person, which I think is probably a good thing.
16:39Like, we're not seeing you on the blog, like, running out the club like that or anything.
16:42No, no, no, no.
16:43You're from South Carolina.
16:44I am from South Carolina.
16:45And you came to New York and trained and studied at Juilliard.
16:48You're at Juilliard.
16:48What was it like telling your parents at such a young age, obviously, that I have this dream,
16:54I'm going to the big city, I'm going to be an actress.
16:56Were they supportive?
16:57My family has always been supportive of everything I've done, as long as it was legal.
17:02True.
17:03But I went to a boarding school before Juilliard even happened.
17:09So I was 15 and I went to boarding school for the arts and humanities.
17:12It's called the South Carolina Governor's School for the Arts and Humanities down in Greenville.
17:16So it was about two hours away from home.
17:19So I left very early.
17:21And then once I graduated from there, by the grace of God, I was accepted into the Juilliard
17:27school.
17:27And my mother is actually from New York.
17:30Okay.
17:30So she has family here.
17:32Oh, that's a blessing.
17:32And she was okay.
17:33And we all took the family trip up and trekked through the snow when they all dropped me
17:39off.
17:40So yeah, they've always been supportive.
17:43I was thinking the other day, I said, you know, my parents have never said no or deterred
17:50me from any dream I've ever, yeah.
17:52Oh, they've said no.
17:53They have said no.
17:55But as far as my dreams are concerned, me have always been supportive.
18:00Always.
18:00And what was it like that period between Juilliard and Mad Men?
18:03Were you doing a lot of theater?
18:04Um, right when I graduated, I actually, God is good.
18:09I booked my first job at graduation.
18:12I got the call that I had.
18:14There you go.
18:15Listen, I got the call that I had booked this huge movie starring opposite Reese Witherspoon.
18:23Oh, just a little something, something.
18:24Yeah, who's she?
18:25I don't know.
18:26But yes, I got that call literally at graduation.
18:32So I went from graduation to working on that in L.A.
18:36And then I did some theater, film, television.
18:39I was able to do a little bit of everything in that first year.
18:42I said, oh, you know what?
18:44I'm going to go to L.A.
18:45You know, it's popping off.
18:47I'll just go to L.A.
18:49It'll be fine.
18:50I'll be on TV and all this other stuff.
18:53Oh, gosh.
18:54That first year was, that second year out of school.
18:58But my first year in L.A. was, oh, that was rough.
19:02Nothing happened.
19:04Not a callback.
19:05Not a, oh, no, no, nothing.
19:08I was, I was over in L.A. crying in my little broke down car.
19:14Like, I just should have went back to New York.
19:16So before you got Mad Men, were you considering leaving the craft?
19:21Not the craft.
19:22I was ready to leave L.A.
19:24I had had enough of L.A.
19:25I said, I was working in New York.
19:27Why did I leave?
19:28I was working, doing film, television, theater.
19:32Why did I leave?
19:33I can't stand L.A.
19:34So I was, I was done.
19:36I said, you know what?
19:37I can go to New York and at least I can sleep on one of my friend's couches.
19:40So I was ready to go back.
19:43So now.
19:43No, I didn't come back.
19:44I booked, I ended up booking Mad Men in L.A.
19:46Perfect.
19:46Okay.
19:47So you go from Mad Men in the drama to now Survivor's Remorse.
19:50Yes.
19:50With comedy and congratulations on getting season three.
19:53Yay, thank you.
19:54And what was it like making that transition from a pop cult classic, if you will, drama,
19:59predominantly white cast to now Survivor's Remorse.
20:02It's on stars.
20:03It's an ethnic cast, if you will.
20:04And there's a lot of comedic powerhouses in there.
20:06Tashina Arnold, Erica Ashe.
20:08Absolutely.
20:08What was that transition like?
20:10Jarring.
20:11Very jarring.
20:12I mean, I'm sure you guys know Tashina and she is, I love her so much.
20:17She's such an open, she's a giver.
20:20She will give you all the knowledge she has.
20:22And she's just such a great model, just as a young woman in this business.
20:29But going from Mad Men, which is just a very quiet set, a very metered set, to the crazy,
20:38raw, what you see on TV is even more raw behind the scenes with my cast.
20:44So it was very jarring, but in a good way.
20:48You just felt free, felt fun, happy.
20:51It's just a different space.
20:52And in Survivor's Remorse, your character Missy, you're known for your beautiful locks,
20:56I should say that first.
20:57Oh, thank you.
20:58And, you know, preparing for this interview, I saw a lot about your hair.
21:01But in the show, she recently just did the big chop.
21:03She did.
21:04Was that something that you worked with the producers to do?
21:07Yes.
21:07I pitched, I actually mentioned it first season, but everything moved so fast that that wasn't
21:13able to happen.
21:14So myself and a female writer, Tracy Oliver, another young black woman doing her thing from
21:20South Carolina.
21:20Hey, Tracy.
21:22We both cornered our showrunner, Michael Malley, and said, you have to do this story.
21:25You have to do this story.
21:27And great.
21:29Luckily enough, him and the network, they were all behind him.
21:32They said, sure.
21:32Awesome.
21:33I know.
21:33Congratulations to you for taking that jump, and we're running a tad short on time, but
21:37I want to touch on Chirac, another Spike Lee joint, if you will, and you play the lead
21:41Lisa Strada, which is off of the Greek comedy, if you will, where Lisa Strada wanted to stop
21:47the Peloponnesian War, so encouraged all of the women to withhold sex to try to end this
21:52war.
21:53Where's that overlay between this film and that classic?
21:56Well, my character Lisa Strada in Spike Lee's joint, she's from the south side of Chicago,
22:02and there's a lot of gang war and gang violence, and so she gets the women in the hood to stop
22:08giving it up so that the men would stop the war, stop this gang violence.
22:12Well, that would deter your crime.
22:13Yes, it would.
22:14Yes, it would change things.
22:15And it ends up going global, and it becomes a whole movement, and I'm really excited about
22:20Chirac.
22:22Oh, I think it's something special.
22:24It's so many genres that we're mixing.
22:25I like to say it's the Greeks meets Blaxploitation meets Spike Lee joint.
22:30It's a lot happening, but I think that people are really going to be moved by it.
22:35I cannot wait to see it.
22:36Thank you so very much for joining us.
22:37You always have open arms here at Essence to come back and speak about any project on
22:41Essence Live.
22:42Congratulations on all of your success.
22:43And, of course, you can check out Tiana on Survivors or more Saturdays at 930 Eastern
22:48only on Stars.
22:49Don't go anywhere, because coming out, Slade or Shade.
22:52And for all of you beauty lovers out there, turn up your headphones.
22:55Essence knows how hard it can be to find the products that work best for our shades,
22:59skin, tones, and hair, which is why Essence has launched its monthly beauty subscription
23:03service, the Essence Beauty Box.
23:05Each month, the beauty experts at Essence will curate trial-sized beauty finds that will
23:09be sent directly to your door.
23:11Yes, to your door.
23:12The Premier Box ships in October, so move quickly, ladies.
23:15You can sign up now at EssenceBeautyBox.com.
23:17Check it out.
23:18Essence has always supported you and what you stand for.
23:23Now imagine Essence could be even more, offering a selection of new beauty products specially
23:28curated every month, so you can see what's fresh, try samples before you buy, so you know
23:34what works for you.
23:35You're getting the essentials from name brands and up-and-coming Black-owned businesses.
23:40Go ahead.
23:40Be bold.
23:41Be confident.
23:43Be you.
23:44Become a member.
23:48Moments.
23:51Seems like they only happen when you least expect them.
23:54Points out all these really cool places.
23:56And as soon as you notice some next-level cuteness, it's over.
24:02Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
24:04No, really.
24:05It's over.
24:05I didn't get one.
24:06Oh, it's okay.
24:07So you can keep missing the moment, or you can change the way you take pictures.
24:11The Samsung Galaxy S6 and S6 Edge with a quick-launch camera.
24:20Last year, Essence made its mark on Fashion Week with our first-ever street-style block
24:24party.
24:25This year, all of the energy.
24:31It's exciting to come out and celebrate these style icons.
24:35All of the fun, all of the fashion returns.
24:38There are no rules in the street.
24:40The 2015 street-style block party.
24:44For more information, head to Essence.com.
24:47Welcome back to Essence Live.
25:00We're just warming the studio up for you.
25:02Before we jump into Slater Shade, we are here at Essence.
25:04I have a very important question to ask all of you.
25:07Listen up.
25:07Have you ever been ghosted or have done the ghosting?
25:11What exactly is that, you ask?
25:12Ghosting is when you're dating someone, things seem great, then suddenly the person you're
25:16dating vanishes in the thin air, just gone, just like that, and stops returning your calls.
25:20You don't see them anymore.
25:22They stop liking your IG pics.
25:23Just ghost.
25:24Well, Essence is looking for single black men and women to share their honest, interesting,
25:28and for some of you funny, just for some of you, funny thoughts on ghosting on camera
25:32here in New York City this Friday.
25:34Email relationships, that's with an S, at Essence.com ASAP with your name, age, phone number,
25:39and availability for tomorrow, Friday, September 4th.
25:42All right?
25:43Okay, so let's get into it.
25:44Slater Shade, our first guest, was here with us a little bit earlier in the show,
25:48relationship editor, Charlie Penn.
25:50How you doing?
25:50I'm good, boo.
25:51Hello, hello, hello.
25:52Hello, hello, hello.
25:53Are you ready to throw some shade?
25:54I know it.
25:55Have you ever been ghosted?
25:56Honestly, no.
25:58But I've been out of the game for over a decade.
26:01Team marriage.
26:02I'm just saying.
26:03Anyway.
26:04No, I'm just saying.
26:05So, I'm sorry, ladies.
26:06I haven't, but I feel your pain, my friend.
26:08It's okay.
26:08We'll talk.
26:09We'll talk.
26:09Next up, back for a second time, co-host on Sirius XM, Sway in the Morning, and founder
26:13of She's Beauty and the Beast, Tracy G.
26:15What's going on?
26:16Well, I need to learn about team marriage so I can, you know, one day join.
26:20I got boo-boo ghosting stories and not be kicked off the team.
26:24Have you ever done the ghosting, Tracy?
26:25Have you ever?
26:26Oh, do you feel like I have an evil side to me?
26:29No, no evil, but sometimes you may have to go ninja.
26:32Well, I do have an evil side to me, so yes, I have done the ghosting.
26:35And our next guest is new to the Slater Shade Couches.
26:38He plays Dre in the star's hit Power and recently dropped his summer hit single, Lotto.
26:43Singer and actor, Rotemi, how are you?
26:45I'm good.
26:45How are you?
26:45All right, now, you have to tell the truth.
26:47All right, yes.
26:48Because you were causing trouble out there before you came into the studio.
26:49What do I do?
26:50I didn't do anything.
26:51Do you ghost?
26:52I have ghosted.
26:54Are you a formed ghoster?
26:56I am reformed.
26:56I repented.
26:58You know, I talked to my lord and saved us.
26:59I said, I'll never do that again.
27:00Aw.
27:01So you just redeemed yourself.
27:03Yeah, I redeemed myself.
27:04God is good.
27:05God is good.
27:05We're watching you.
27:06We're watching you.
27:07Lastly, for our lovely viewers, make sure to chime in on our social media platforms using
27:11the hashtag Essence Live and, of course, join the conversation.
27:14So, let's get started.
27:16Tia Mowry entered into clapback season with one of her recent IG posts.
27:20She posted a split photo of a bikini-clad Nicki Minaj next to a young Lisa Bonet wearing a loosely
27:25fitted outfit when she was on The Cosby Show.
27:28Tia's caption read,
27:29Not that there's anything wrong with the other girls, but this is so me, referring to
27:33how she preferred to dress like Lisa rather than Nicki.
27:36Well, the Barbies went into full attack mode, accusing Mowry of body shaming and bullying.
27:41Tia quickly amended her caption in to add,
27:44Nobody is shaming anybody.
27:45Please don't read into it.
27:46Geesh.
27:47Okay, so, is this a slay?
27:49Even though Tia ended up deleting the post, kudos to her for clapping back at the Barbies
27:53before she hit the delete button.
27:55She made sure to clarify what she meant and told everyone to simmer down.
27:58Or, is this shade?
28:00Tia should have been a little more selective with the meme she decided to post.
28:04We can see how the meme could possibly be offensive to some.
28:07Okay, so on the count of three, slay to shade.
28:09One, two, three.
28:10Oh, we got a slay.
28:12Slay.
28:12Oh, everybody thinks it's a slay.
28:13Okay, Charlie, I'll start with you.
28:14Why is this a slay?
28:15You know, this is Tia Mowry we were talking about.
28:17I think that's not in her character.
28:18I think she was clear from the beginning that she meant no shade, you know?
28:21And I think the real shaming lately with online culture is that if you say something that people
28:27don't agree with and they don't like what you have to say, then they bring everybody to
28:30say you're an awful person.
28:31And that's not always the case.
28:32I mean, honestly, Nicki didn't seem upset.
28:33Right, true.
28:34And Nicki would be the first one.
28:35She'd be the first one to say.
28:35To let her know.
28:36Good point.
28:37Tracy?
28:37Yeah, I'm on the same page because I feel like her track record definitely shows that she's
28:42more halo than horns, you know?
28:43Right, right.
28:44I just don't see her of, like, slender, angelic fingers creating the meme.
28:48That's a different level of, like, being an idiot.
28:52But I really feel like, okay, she probably saw it just, like, swimming down her timeline
28:57and she was like, oh, shoot.
28:58I definitely relate to that.
29:00And then she posted it out of impulse.
29:02Now she learns, you know, in a very harsh way, which all of us have gone through.
29:06But, you know, know better, do better.
29:08And I think she's good.
29:09I think she's, yeah, you're right, it's Tia.
29:11Well, Timmy?
29:12No, I think, I think I stand by what she said because it's great to see when women stand
29:16up for their beauty.
29:17You know, and they actually just, you know, claim, this is who I am.
29:21And I love when people stand up for themselves, period, and speak their mind.
29:23I think we're too scared to do that in 2015.
29:26That's true.
29:26When you see honesty and what they truly feel when it's not really disrespectful, you've
29:30got to, you know, support it.
29:31So I think, I think it's a slay.
29:34All right.
29:34All right.
29:35Slay, slay, slay.
29:35We'll see if y'all all see me on the same page by the end of this show.
29:38All right.
29:39This topic definitely got a lot of buzz on our Facebook page.
29:42Let's check in with our Facebook family.
29:44Kimberly Jefferson said, Tia said nothing wrong.
29:46She and her twin sister are two of the most classiest ladies in the business, which is what
29:50you kind of co-signing what you said, Charlie.
29:51They are not about negative shaming or anything, or shaming anyone else to cause drama.
29:56Keep doing you, Tia.
29:57All right.
29:58Thanks, Kimberly.
29:58Let's move on to our next topic.
30:00This one's a little bit more interesting.
30:02Fashion week is steady approaching, and we know we're bound to see some interesting things.
30:07The fashion industry has always pushed the envelope.
30:09However, this time, they may have just completely ripped that bad boy into pieces.
30:14Fashion forward Swedish brand Acne Studios has casted Frost Johansson, who is a preteen
30:19boy to star in its women's fall campaign.
30:22Yes, I said a preteen boy will star in a women's fall campaign.
30:25Acne's creative director, who is also Frost's father, casted his son because, and I quote,
30:30he believes the boy represents the new breed of consumer.
30:35All right.
30:35So is this a slay?
30:36Gender roles are constantly being bent in the fashion industry.
30:39Transgender models are part of high-end brands, and women have walked in men's fashion shows
30:43in the past.
30:44So this creates a different set of rules, regardless of whether you like them or not.
30:48Or is this shade?
30:49It's ridiculous to think that a preteen boy is being used to sell adult women clothing,
30:53and even more ridiculous and insulting to suggest that a young boy's body is what should
30:57be considered ideal for women.
31:00Adult women.
31:01All right.
31:01Wow.
31:02That's heavy.
31:02It is.
31:04Real time he's like, hold up.
31:05I don't know if I want to swipe left, swipe right.
31:07Right.
31:07All right.
31:07So on the count of three, slay to shade.
31:10One, two, three.
31:11Slay or shade.
31:12Oh, we have a shade.
31:13I have a shade.
31:14You're a slay?
31:15I'm not flipping my eyes.
31:16You're a slay?
31:16You're a slay.
31:17You're a slay.
31:17Please.
31:18You too?
31:18A2?
31:19Okay.
31:19So Tracy, it's a shade.
31:21Talk to me.
31:21And it was hard.
31:22I was like mega conflicted because when it comes to the foundation of my personal beliefs,
31:26it begins with freedom of expression.
31:28Right.
31:28And we know the fashion industry, you know, it's the most polarizing of all industries.
31:34It's made to push buttons.
31:36But then between this, between the transgender takeover, which I support, but still takeover,
31:42between hashtag Kylie Lips, I just feel like the natural woman is being called the loser of 2015.
31:49I get what you're saying.
31:50It's almost like we're being pushed aside.
31:52Yeah.
31:53I understand what you're saying.
31:53Like why are we a throwback Thursday?
31:55That is very true.
31:55That's a very valid point.
31:57Because I know I'm not shaped like a preteen boy.
31:59You know what I mean?
31:59Like, so I totally get what you're saying.
32:02Yeah.
32:02All right.
32:02Now, Rotemi, you're a slay.
32:04Yeah.
32:05Slay.
32:06It's just none of my business.
32:08You're saying completely hands off?
32:10It's just none of my business.
32:11You could be a politician.
32:13Yes.
32:142020, you're going to run against Kanye?
32:17Is that what you're doing right now?
32:19I'm like trying to.
32:19You know what I mean?
32:20He's like, I'm stepping away from this.
32:22Yeah.
32:22All right.
32:22So, Charlie?
32:23Yeah, I'm a slay as well.
32:25I mean, honestly, I think within the fashion industry, think fashion forward, you can bend
32:29the rules.
32:30You know, gender bending, whatever, it all, anything goes.
32:33And the people who appreciate fashion appreciate that moment.
32:35Right.
32:36I think real women looking to see themselves in a line of fashion aren't looking to these
32:39high-end fashion designers anyway.
32:41Right.
32:42So, I don't feel offended because, I mean, if I want the clothing to fit my curves, I'm
32:46probably not going to shop that line.
32:47So, I'm not going to be offended if it's going to fit a preteen boy or look better on
32:50a preteen boy.
32:51So, I'm cool on it.
32:52You know, I'm not upset.
32:54I'm not bothered.
32:54But, if you like it, you love it, I particularly don't.
32:58Got you.
32:58That was very well said, Ms. Shea.
33:00All right.
33:01You look at that.
33:01Unlike for Timmy, who just walked away and said, I'm going to leave it on the table.
33:06All right.
33:07So, our third and final topic is one, I don't know, I'm all about this one right here.
33:11So, back to school will be fully in effect after Labor Day weekend and school administrators
33:14want to make sure it's a safe year.
33:16Some schools have decided to use a program to help monitor the social media accounts of students.
33:20However, the program monitors these accounts both during school hours and when the students
33:26are off campus.
33:27Understandably, students and some parents are upset, deeming the monitoring just a little
33:31bit too intrusive and downright snooping.
33:33So, is this a slay?
33:35In the age of school shootings, cyberbullying, and having schools monitor social media platforms
33:39helps and could possibly save lives, this monitoring program serves as an added precaution to school
33:44violence, or is this shade?
33:46While the program may be beneficial, it goes overboard with monitoring students during
33:50non-school hours.
33:52Is this not a violation of the freedom of speech and expression?
33:55All right.
33:56On the count of three, slay or shade.
33:57One, two, three.
33:58Slay, slay.
33:59Oh, we're all on the same page today.
34:02Okay.
34:02Well, Timmy.
34:03I think this is great, actually, because with kids, it's bigger than, you know, shootings
34:09and stuff.
34:10I think it's more about finding if somebody's depressed or if somebody's going through something
34:14at home or things like that, where they wouldn't really speak on it, but having the opportunity
34:18to see certain things, you can kind of stop it before it happens.
34:22That's one major reason for me I think it's amazing.
34:24But then also, I mean, I was a kid once, too, but there's certain things now that they're
34:28so advanced that they shouldn't be talking, and they should be conscious of somebody's
34:32watching you right now, anyway.
34:34So to have that mindset, it'll stop a lot of, you know, premarital, I mean, young kids
34:39having sex, or whatever it may be, but I think it's just, they're conscious, okay,
34:43maybe I should just watch what I'm doing and watch what I'm saying.
34:45Posting those inappropriate pictures.
34:46Exactly.
34:47So I think it just kind of, you know, takes away a lot of the nasty things that's happening
34:50right now.
34:50Yeah.
34:51Tracy?
34:52Uh-huh.
34:52I'm really into preventative measures.
34:54Like, even if you need to shut a kid up, you can just show them in their biology textbook
34:59that the adult brain is not fully developed until you're 26, and you are 16, or maybe
35:05you are just six, and I feel like, all right, fine, you know, kids, they want to have their
35:09rebellious stage, they don't want to shed that too early, so it's not like keywords like,
35:14I don't know, penis might stop you, or like marijuana, but there's no experimenting when
35:20it comes to bullying, when it comes to being like a local terrorist, we're not going to
35:24experiment in that direction, so give and take, you know?
35:28And a lot of school shootings, they often found that they posted something, sent tweets,
35:31posted pictures, you know, as you mentioned, signs that there was something not right.
35:37Absolutely. And that's what I was going to say, I agree with both of them. I mean, whenever
35:40there's a tragedy, particularly in a school, the first thing people say is, how could we
35:44have prevented this? You know, we may not be able to change gun laws anytime soon, which
35:48is unfortunate, but we can maybe do this. So if this is something, if this is a method
35:52that they can try that may work, I'm here for it, because we've lost our privacy. We put
35:58everything on Facebook. True. Like, you know, like she's saying, you know, you can't assume
36:02that, you have to assume that someone's looking at everything that you're doing. You can do
36:05it anyway. You have a lot of employers now looking at adults, they're like, what are
36:08your social handles, please? And thank you. And if you can save my child's life at school
36:12where they should be saved, I'm here for it. I support it. All right. Well, thank all of
36:16you for joining us. Thank you. I know you're going to be sticking around, Tracy. Thank you
36:21for returning. What? Well, Timmy, I guess you cool. I guess you can come back. I guess
36:26you cool. I mean, no, thank you all of us for joining me. All right, so next week we
36:30have two of the sexiest individuals in the game, Sanaa Lathan and Michael Ealy. They'll
36:34stop by to talk about their new film, The Perfect Guy. I think we should make Michael get
36:37into the steam room. It's only right, right? Charlie's like, yes, yes. His castmate, Morris,
36:43was just there, so why not? We'll have a little bit of fun with that. Tune in next week to see
36:46if I can get him to take that robe and put it on. See you next week. Same place, same
36:51time, same fabulous host. I'm Dana Blair. Bye-bye.
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