00:00...and fearless actress who commands the screen and the hearts of audiences of all ages.
00:06She brings strong female characters to life with sensitive yet spirited depth
00:11that places her in a category of true distinction
00:14and proves conclusively that hers is a talent that knows no bounds.
00:21Gab, I am thrilled to present you with the 2013
00:27Black Women in Hollywood Fierce and Fearless Award
00:29of which you are so deserving.
00:32I love you so much.
00:34Congratulations.
00:36Congratulations.
00:42She's so fast.
01:05Okay, this is a little like being at your own funeral.
01:08Um, where you're like, oh, they showed up, that's nice.
01:14Um, I have dope friends, this is so awesome.
01:21Um, we live in a town that rewards pretending.
01:29And I had been pretending to be fierce and fearless for a very long time.
01:36Um, I was a victim masquerading as a survivor.
01:44I stayed when I should have run.
01:49I was quiet when I should have spoken up.
01:53And I turned a blind eye to injustice instead of having the courage to stand up for what's right.
02:00I remember when I was a freshman in honors English class, and we were supposed to read Huck Finn out loud.
02:13And each person had to read a paragraph.
02:15And instead of saying, um, all these nigga jims that we're about to hear by my over-eager classmates makes me uncomfortable.
02:28I just prayed that my paragraph wouldn't have a nigga jim in it.
02:34When I was young, the assimilation was so complete that I couldn't wait for Black History Month to be over.
02:42I used to, uh, and Mom, you'll remember this, I used to curl my lips and inhale deeply
02:53in pictures to minimalize my blackness.
02:59I used to shrink in the presence of other dope, beautiful women.
03:08I used to revel in gossip and rumors and the, the, the, and, and, and I, and I lived for the negativity inflicted upon my sister actresses
03:22or anyone who I felt whose shine diminished my own.
03:30I took joy in people's pain and I tap danced on their misery.
03:36I chased and accepted a love and a marriage that wasn't worthy of a date.
03:45I lived to hear, Hey, if we'll go black, it'll totally be you.
03:50As if the routine exclusion of women of color in the casting process is okay, as long as I'm considered.
04:02You know, it's, it's easy to pretend to be fierce and fearless because living your truth takes real courage.
04:11Uh, around the time my marriage failed, I, I, well, A.J. Johnson forced me to look at every aspect of my life
04:24and I realized that pretending wasn't really working for me.
04:29And so I started to try to actually live my truth and, and admit that I was, that I wasn't happy.
04:44And admitting that I wasn't happy was the beginning of the journey.
04:47Being fearless is simply doing the work.
04:55It's doing the work that it takes to recognize you no longer want to function in dysfunction and misery
05:02and that you actually would like to be happy and not just say you're happy.
05:06Leaving my marriage and literally, you know, my, my girls and everybody at this table knows that
05:18I used to literally go under my bed and my, my dog, R.I.P. Bubba, used to, uh, get under the bed with me.
05:28And me and Bubba would sit under the bed, just depressed, and, um, so around the time I, I decided to leave my marriage
05:38and I decided to come out from under the bed with Bubba, I realized that that takes fearlessness-ness.
05:47Staying put in a bad marriage and being unhappy, that's safe and easy and that's familiar.
05:55That's what we do, baby.
05:59We commit to misery because that's what we know.
06:04And, um, I decided I wanted more and that I deserved more and better from the inside out.
06:14And I realized that real fierce and fearless women are truth seekers.
06:22They communicate.
06:23Don't get mad at me and refuse to tell me what I did.
06:27Open your mouth.
06:28We ain't mind readers.
06:30Real fearless and fierce women admit mistakes and they work to correct them.
06:37We stand up and we use our voices for things other than self-promotion.
06:45Real fierce and fearless women that we don't stand by and let racism and sexism and homophobia
06:54run rampant on our watch.
07:01Real fierce and fearless women celebrate and complement other women and we recognize and embrace the notion
07:12that their shine in no way diminishes our light and that it actually makes our light shine brighter.
07:19So, today in this room with all of you, um, oh hi J-Hod, oh my goodness.
07:34Um, so many of you guys that we have, if you ever signed in on the Monica Swan casting sheet, you know, we all been there.
07:45We've all, so many of you guys in this room, we're sisters, we don't always get to see each other and it's dope to, to see you guys here today.
07:52Women who we've laughed with and who we've cried with and we've struggled with, thank you for not turning your back on me.
07:59Thank you for not tap dancing on my misery, even when I wasn't always returning the favor.
08:04Um, I want to thank Oprah, um, and I've thanked you personally before, but your show, you did an episode, What to Do in Case You Are the Victim of a Violent Crime.
08:16And when I was the victim of a violent crime, her voice told me what to do.
08:23Television can literally save your life, because she saved mine, so thank you.
08:31I want to thank my dad, who very rarely gets to hang out with me in Hollywood, he prefers courtside at the heat games, I understand that.
08:46Um, but when, uh, when I was 18 or 19, my dad said, well, if I'm paying for it, then it's gonna be, and I was like, I don't think I want you to pay for it.
09:00And he was the last man who ever paid for any aspect of my life.
09:05So thank you for that.
09:08He also said, you want to handle it, or you want me to handle it, because I don't think you're gonna like the way I handle it.
09:15So I've been handling it on my own for a while now, and I like the way I handle it.
09:22So thank you.
09:23And my mom, you know, my mom is, is the salt of the earth.
09:31She's like straight up Omaha, Nebraska, and represents all that's awesome about the north side that gets no recognition.
09:37And she's adopted three little kids, um, and she's doing it all over again.
09:42And the, the most amazing thing about my mom is she committed to raising, um, her three daughters, um, to have a world perspective and not a town perspective.
09:52And even though my mom teaches catechism, CCD for, for you guys, um, she took us to our first gay pride parade at eight years old, because she wanted her girls to embrace humanity.
10:06I think she said, I don't want you to be ignoramuses, but I'm translating it to embrace humanity.
10:14And my girls at this table, thank you, Snot, just the other night, thank you.
10:21Uh, you know, there's so many times that we all have in our lives where you're just like, damn, I need to hear from somebody.
10:28And ping, you know, I'm on set, and there, there's Miss Snot.
10:34I love her because she's dope and amazing and, and a queen, but she's right, everything that's right.
10:40And Regina, who makes me laugh with our fart jokes and Essence and AJ and Dawn and, you know.
10:51Clint, who has hired me a thousand and one times, even when I sucked, thank you.
10:56And Will Packer, who keeps hiring me, thank you.
10:59Essence, who keeps giving me covers and, um, supports and who's been there along with the journey.
11:05It feels amazing.
11:06And, uh, there's a table with Mara and Ava.
11:10Hey, there we go.
11:11And Gina, women who challenge me to not just rest on my laurels and who challenge me every day by their dopeness.
11:19Um, thank you.
11:21And to everyone who didn't hire me, I get it now.
11:26I had work to do, so thank you.
11:30.
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