00:00Now we're here to tackle something a bit different, something that affects so many women, the whole issue of work-life balance.
00:23But luckily we have a wonderful panel here today that's going to help us tackle this issue and hopefully give us some solutions.
00:30As well as examples from their own lives about how they've navigated this tough issue.
00:35Deneen has really found the secret.
00:40And her dashboard, which she will tell you is quite full, but what I think is interesting about Deneen's dashboard is she controls it.
00:48So she'll tell you her story.
00:49About two and a half years ago, I parked the car and got out.
00:55I didn't care for the dashboard that I had in front of me.
01:00You know, I was working full-time.
01:02A nanny was raising my two daughters.
01:05My husband and I barely saw each other.
01:08At the end of the day, we just didn't have anything to show for all of the sacrifices that we were making.
01:13And when I would come home and see my babies, you know, half-passed out but, you know, trying to keep their eyes open so they could see mommy and daddy, it just, it turned me out.
01:24I just decided that we needed to get away.
01:26And so we parked that car and we got out and got a new car.
01:30And I tell you that my dashboard is every bit as crazy, but it's the dashboard that I wanted.
01:37I happen to work for a Dutch-based organization.
01:40And because they're European, they have the work-life balance thing now.
01:45It inspires me to kind of follow suit.
01:48And so although I have events at night, events in the morning, events in the middle of the day, I still have to get my work done.
01:55So what I've decided to do is sort of set my own schedule.
01:58So if I'm traveling on the weekend for work, I'm not going to be in the office all week long.
02:02But I explain to my children, and thank goodness my oldest are getting old enough to really understand when I leave that, and they ask me why I'm going and where I'm going.
02:13And I always try to tell them and honestly say, well, I'm going to this conference.
02:17And, you know, now my daughter will go online and she'll, like, go to the little website.
02:22She'll go, yeah, this is where you're going and you have to be there at 2 o'clock and your panel starts and whatnot.
02:27So that helps.
02:29I try to fold her into my life.
02:31But when the 2-year-old is hanging on to my ankle as I'm trying to get out the door, and he's going, Mommy, no, you don't go.
02:38Where are you going?
02:40You know, I don't, after, on the 4th child, you know, the guilt isn't as bad.
02:48Oh, God.
02:49You have to go to 4?
02:50Yeah.
02:51That's the truth.
02:51Oh, my goodness.
02:53Once you get to number 4, then you're just like, ah, he'll be all right.
02:56You know what I'm saying?
02:57You're all right.
02:58He'll be fine.
02:59He'll be good.
02:59He'll be good.
03:00And actually, I think the key is there's going to be those every day.
03:02The key for me is not feeling guilty about it.
03:05Well, then how do you do that?
03:06I know there's so many women in the room right now that, you know, you have that guilt moment.
03:11It's the balance.
03:12You take some off here.
03:14This goes down.
03:15You take some off.
03:15You know, I think it's the balance.
03:17And how does that work for you?
03:18How can we learn how to say no and not feel guilty about it but also not have everybody think that, oh, she just doesn't have time for us anymore?
03:26I've gotten used to saying no, and I still have the guilt around it when it comes to family.
03:32I had to get over it when it came to my friends.
03:35I would also say that one of the compromises that I've probably made over the years is that I've probably ended relationships because they were too needy.
03:44And because those relationships were so needy, I had to say no to them and, you know, you've got to go.
03:53And that was truly a powerful moment.
03:56Saying no for me was a challenge.
03:59Because you're so nice.
04:00Maybe.
04:01I need to stop being so nice.
04:03We all do it.
04:05But it was definitely a challenge for me.
04:08I guess my personality is one that wants to help everybody and do everything.
04:13Right.
04:13But most recently, and one of my dearest friends is here, she can attest to this, but most recently I have started saying no because I just can't physically do it.
04:25And the feeling is great.
04:29And like Deneen said, it's a wonderful feeling.
04:32The first time I said no, it was okay.
04:35Well, I just want to thank our panelists today for sharing.
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