- 5 days ago
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00:00I love cats. I kind of worship them.
00:06A worship which, as cat people know, can sometimes feel unrequited.
00:13But it doesn't really matter. A cat person doesn't need a cat to love you back all the time.
00:19We're happy with the occasional slow blink.
00:22The every so often soft paw on the arm.
00:25The purr on the lap at the end of the day that feels like absolution.
00:29Although, having said all that, Terry Pratchett once remarked that if cats looked like frogs,
00:34we'd realise what nasty, cruel little p***ers they are.
00:40Well, Terry, I don't completely agree.
00:42But I know what you mean.
00:45For example, this cat, Ron, went missing once in an attic room
00:52and we couldn't find him at all,
00:54so I spent about two hours on my hands and knees, crawling about in dusty old insulation,
01:01calling for Ron, who just wouldn't come out.
01:04And eventually, I was sort of about to die and I was so furious, I found him.
01:09And the trouble was, no matter how furious I was, as soon as I saw his little face,
01:14I just thought, oh, wrong.
01:19He's going to do a big jump.
01:20Oh, wow.
01:21In this three-part series, I'll be fulfilling a lifelong dream
01:24to spend most of my time with cats.
01:26He's good as gold.
01:27He's purring.
01:28He's incredibly nice.
01:30They're not always easy to film with.
01:32There's something I've made up.
01:33Ah!
01:34Oh, no.
01:35Oh, Wilfred.
01:36But that turns out to be half the fun.
01:39I mean, that is a really quirky bum.
01:42I'll be meeting every sort of cat.
01:44Bertie over there has got no eyes.
01:46I just really would like to hold one of these cats.
01:49His full name is Laurie Coons, busy being fabulous.
01:52And making sure they get the spot that they've never really had on the small screen.
01:58That's extraordinary.
01:59A cat is grace made flesh.
02:07They're just so absurdly beautiful.
02:10Their faces seem designed to please our eyes.
02:14Because it's us, not them,
02:16who conventionally think there is beauty in symmetry,
02:20in large eyes, in tiny, perfect noses.
02:23How can one species find another so attractive?
02:27And is it, well, weird?
02:41There are dogs which actually divide the crowd more.
02:43Cats generally are more aesthetically pleasing.
02:47A big, fat, I think, half tortoiseshell,
02:50half black and grey tabby.
02:52Just, I mean, beautiful.
02:54Oh, I just find them so beautiful.
02:56The way they move, their slow blinks.
02:58I mean, there's some shocker of human babies.
03:00Yeah.
03:01I mean, really.
03:02Whereas, I've never really seen a shocker of a cat baby.
03:05Cats sneezing on you.
03:06Aw.
03:07Eating loudly.
03:08When my cat's eating, I'll go,
03:09oh, I'll listen to crunching, crunching.
03:10If I was in a restaurant, I'd put your head against a table.
03:14There isn't really an explanation for why humans, as a species,
03:17should take delight and like seeing another species.
03:21Evolutionarily, that makes no sense.
03:22Yeah.
03:23Because, just to make it clear, I'm not going to have sex with cats.
03:26At any point.
03:27They're absolute.
03:29They're beauties.
03:31Well, like all cats, she's pretty perfect.
03:34Cats tend to be more beautiful across the spectrum.
03:37You do see dogs and you think, that is a fugly dog.
03:40Have you ever seen an ugly cat?
03:41Yeah, I've seen an ugly cat.
03:42Yeah, I've seen an ugly cat and it's still cute.
03:44Yeah.
03:45I don't think there is an ugly cat, no.
03:47Like, how ugly can you be if you're a big ball of fur?
03:50I have seen an ugly cat, but I still sort of loved it.
03:52I'll put it out there, I've never seen an ugly cat.
03:55But, you know, most of the really, truly nasty people I've met in my life
04:00have been beautiful.
04:02Beauty doesn't bring kindness.
04:04So, are you like me?
04:05Me and you are on a similar level of, I'm going to say, ugliness.
04:09They've always got a charm, even if they're one of those naked ones.
04:13Oh, I like the naked ones.
04:14I like the naked ones if they've got great big balls.
04:19Can I just make it clear that Philippa is not talking about people?
04:23I thought it was worth trying to find out if there is such a thing as an ugly cat.
04:28And then I remembered this guy.
04:30Ma, there's a weird f***ing straight cat outside.
04:33Who really scared the American actor Michael Rappaport with his face.
04:38It looks like grandma!
04:39Blink!
04:40Ma!
04:41No, no, no!
04:42Here he comes!
04:43Ma!
04:44Ma!
04:45I'm sorry!
04:46I'm sorry!
04:47Wilfred, who's become an internet sensation precisely because he's a cat that has the kind
04:51of face that makes you go, ah, and at the same time, oh dear.
04:56Hello, Wilfred.
05:08Aw.
05:09The thing is, he looks outraged, whatever you're doing.
05:12But he's so great.
05:14Is he a lap cat?
05:15No, he's never come on my lap even once.
05:17Right.
05:18He's not that cuddly really.
05:20Wilfred, be a bit more cuddly.
05:22I honestly don't think he knows what his name is.
05:24Can I say something which might be a little bit rude?
05:26Is it possible that he's very stupid?
05:28I have thought that.
05:30He's also quite Yoda-like, so he may be very, very clever in a way that we don't understand.
05:37He's had so many comparisons as well over the years, like Fizz Gig from The Dark Crystal.
05:42Fizz Gig.
05:43He's had that a lot.
05:44The Worm from The Labyrinth.
05:45Labyrinth, the David Bowie film?
05:47Yeah.
05:48OK.
05:49There's a little worm in it that looks like him.
05:51Is it in David Bowie's trousers?
05:52Because David Bowie's trousers have a sense of being a bit worm-like in that film.
05:57How do you say his name is Steve?
05:59Is it Steve Buscemi?
06:00Steve Buscemi?
06:01Buscemi.
06:02Is that how you say it?
06:03Steve Buscemi.
06:04OK.
06:05What do you think it is about him?
06:07The messages from his fans were things like he helped with their mental health.
06:10At the end of a difficult day, they would just come and look at pictures of Wilfred.
06:14They felt that because Wilfred looked a bit different, that it's OK to be different.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Well, that's really interesting.
06:20Because there's a kind of default beauty that cats have that you might say that Wilfred doesn't
06:25fit into.
06:26There seemed to be a divide straight away between people who thought he was the most
06:30cutest, beautiful creature they'd ever seen and people who were saying he was extraordinarily
06:35ugly.
06:36Obviously, he's really cute.
06:38But he's really cute in a quite challenging way.
06:41I always thought what's quite unusual about Wilfred is the range of human-like expressions
06:45he has.
06:46He can look sad, excited, annoyed.
06:49He looks to me like I've said or you've said or everyone's said something slightly injurious
06:54to him.
06:55He's got a face that is like, how dare you?
06:58A lot of people said straight away he's the spirit animal.
07:02He's representing like my mood.
07:05Do you know how many people have got tattoos of him?
07:07I've seen quite a few over the past decade.
07:11I must have seen eight or nine, something like that, but there's probably more.
07:15I've probably missed a lot of them.
07:16Hello.
07:17Hello, Sonia.
07:18I'm here at the home of Wilf, and I've been told that you have a tattoo of Wilf the cat.
07:27Tell me why you decided to get a tattoo of him.
07:30And do you have any other tattoos of animals you've seen on the internet?
07:38No, only Wilfred.
07:40OK, so where is the tattoo of Wilf on your body?
07:43Lo tengo en la pierna, cerca del tobillo.
07:46So this is Jenna.
07:48Hey.
07:49Jenna is Wilfred's owner.
07:50Can you show Jenna the tattoo, please?
07:53Oh.
07:54It's a beautiful tattoo.
07:56Are you excited to meet Wilfred?
07:58Pues mucho, porque me encanta.
08:00I would like you to meet him, but I would also like you to show Wilfred the tattoo.
08:04Of Wilfred.
08:05So let's see what he thinks about it.
08:07There he is.
08:09Oh, yes.
08:10Wilf, Wilf, come on, mate.
08:11Hi, Wilfred.
08:13This is a very, very big moment, but he is hiding under the table.
08:17Oh, no, he's come out.
08:18He's come out.
08:19Do you want to have a go?
08:20OK.
08:21OK, here, the tattoo is there.
08:22So where's he gone?
08:24Oh, he's gone behind the sofa.
08:25Once again, I'm understanding why there's never been a TV show about cat.
08:29OK, no te preocupes.
08:30Tell them that I have three cats and I understand them perfectly.
08:33Oh, hang on.
08:34There he is.
08:36OK, here he is.
08:38Oh, Wilfred.
08:44OK, here we go.
08:45Wilfred, look at this.
08:46Hi, Wilfred.
08:48Wilf, what do you think?
08:50It's you on a Spanish lady's leg.
08:52Oh, he's interested.
08:54Oh, he was for a minute.
08:56Wilf, don't go.
08:58Wilfred.
08:59Every time I put him down, he moves away.
09:01He doesn't really like Zoom.
09:02OK.
09:03There you are.
09:04What would you like to say to Wilfred?
09:06You're the funniest and nicest thing in the world, Wilfred.
09:08He's got a nice ass.
09:09Hola.
09:10When I go on about the beauty of cats, I should be clear, I mean all cats, even Wilfred.
09:25I don't care about pedigree.
09:40The idea of breeds implies to me a hierarchy of perfection, which doesn't work with cats,
09:46because they're all perfect.
09:48The bar with cats starts with perfect.
09:51But for pedigree people, cat perfection does exist, as long as you understand the science,
09:58which, as you're about to find out, I really don't.
10:06Unfortunately, Alfie won't get a merit as a toy gun because he's not stripy enough.
10:10Oh, really?
10:11He carries the snow gene.
10:12He carries the what?
10:13The snow gene.
10:14The snow gene?
10:15Yeah, because you know, I don't know if you know about bengals, you have brown bengals
10:17and you have snow bengals.
10:18No, I didn't know that.
10:19The snow gene is a recessive gene.
10:21It's a colour point gene from Siamese.
10:23OK.
10:24But if you make two carriers together, you get a kitten that's homozygous for the snow.
10:27They are beautiful, sort of pale mink colour.
10:30You said a sentence then that was amazing.
10:32You said something like they're homozygous for the snow gene.
10:35Yeah.
10:36Is that what you said?
10:37Yeah.
10:38I don't know what that means.
10:39That's Alfie.
10:40That is Nella.
10:41We call her Naughty Nella.
10:42I love cats, but if you're showing cats, pedigree cats, like dogs, have what we call an SOP.
10:51It's a sort of standard of points.
10:52Right.
10:53You have to have a dangerous wild animal license to keep an Asian leopard cat.
10:58But in GCF, we decided to stop it.
11:00What's GCF?
11:01Oh, the Governing Council of the Cat Fancy, which is the feline equivalent of the Kennel Club.
11:05Say it again.
11:06The Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:08The Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:10So, that year, it was across the stage.
11:12That was one by one.
11:13The second year, it was a little strange.
11:15They had all the six cats on the stage on individual podiums.
11:18The Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:20A little bit of a mouthful, I'm sorry.
11:21There's an actual thing called the Governing Council of the Cat Fancy.
11:24Yeah, there is.
11:25Oh, you haven't heard of it?
11:27Hold on a sec.
11:28Sorry.
11:29Sorry.
11:30Take a breath.
11:31Take a breath.
11:32So, who's this?
11:33This is Colin.
11:34Right.
11:35And he turned up in Marchamly.
11:36About eight miles from where he lived.
11:37He turned up in Marchamly?
11:38Marchamly.
11:39It's a village near Hodnett.
11:40Of course.
11:41Between here and Shrewsbury.
11:42About eight miles from Shrewsbury, where his home was.
11:45While Susan's gone, all I might do is speak for a bit.
11:49Just to sort of, you know, be able to.
11:56So, on that particular locus of the chromosome,
11:59they just have the two pair of snow jeans.
12:02Right.
12:03And then they're snow.
12:04Well, that's clearer.
12:05Yeah.
12:08So, that's your tickly stick.
12:09Do you want to show us how that works?
12:10Well, generally just...
12:11Alfie!
12:12Oh, I see.
12:13Alfie, what's that?
12:14Oh, right.
12:15I don't want to play with it.
12:17So, the life of a Teuge stud is basically just having sex with a Teuge.
12:22Not as much as they'd like, actually.
12:24Oh, OK.
12:25I don't do public stud because of germs.
12:26You don't do public stud?
12:27I'm a very close cattery.
12:29Right.
12:30I have a few select friends to stud.
12:31Right.
12:32But they're not advertised at public stud.
12:33OK.
12:34Public stud you advertise is actually on the website of the governing council.
12:38There is a stud.
12:39Of the cat fancy...
12:40It's approved studs.
12:41If your stud meets with all the approval and all the criteria required to be a registered
12:45GCCF stud cat for public stud.
12:47These are incredible words.
12:49We don't recommend that they have, you know, any stud would have too many because they can
12:52get one out, poor boys.
12:53I mean, Hugh Hefner looked quite bad by the end.
12:56That's Rudy.
12:57He's absolutely gorgeous.
12:58He is very nice.
12:59He studs, does he?
13:00He does have a few queens, yes.
13:01His fur is amazing, actually.
13:02He's gorgeous, isn't he?
13:03His fur is so silky.
13:04His pattern is fantastic.
13:05He is a lover boy and look, he's got a big heart there.
13:06Oh, yeah, he's got a big heart.
13:07Yeah, he has.
13:08And big balls, of course.
13:09Which are very important in his line of work.
13:10He's certainly a very good show cat.
13:11He's an Imperial Grand Champion.
13:12He's only young.
13:13He's an Imperial Grand Champion?
13:14Yeah, and he's only, I think he's only one away from Olympian at the moment.
13:17One away from Olympian?
13:18Olympian is the highest title.
13:19Is it?
13:20There's a series of titles.
13:21Because Imperial sounds quite high.
13:22Imperial Grand Champion sounds about as high as you can get, but you're saying
13:25there's one higher than that.
13:26Yeah.
13:27Can I pick him up?
13:28Yeah, I don't think you've heard.
13:29Yeah.
13:30Yeah.
13:31Yeah.
13:32Yeah.
13:33Yeah.
13:34Yeah.
13:35Yeah.
13:36Yeah.
13:37Yeah.
13:38Yeah.
13:39Can I pick him up?
13:40Yeah, I don't think it'll hurt you.
13:41I don't think it'll hurt me, but I don't know if you'll want me to pick him up.
13:43He seems okay with that.
13:44He'll be on your shoulder, yeah.
13:45He's good as gold.
13:46He's purring.
13:47He's happy to be judged, you see.
13:48I don't show my cats if they're not happy.
13:49I'm not judging him.
13:50Mm.
13:51No, but...
13:52I'm definitely not judging him.
13:53They do get quite a lot of cuddles with it being judged.
13:54Oh, really, do they?
13:55Yes.
13:56Is there a cuddle section?
13:57No.
13:58There definitely should be.
13:59Is he your top cat?
14:00It's him versus Lucy, really.
14:02Wow.
14:03Oh, my goodness.
14:05We do a lot.
14:06That's amazing.
14:07That is sort of about 40 years of rosettes there.
14:10Right.
14:11We've been here since 1986.
14:12So, tell me about these very, very impressive rosettes.
14:16Well, Lucy is an amazing cat.
14:17Right.
14:18In 2023, we had the most amazing show at the Supreme, which is the Big Co.
14:22It's a bit like Crufts for Cats.
14:23Okay.
14:24So, Lucy won Supreme Yuta in 2023 and 2024.
14:28Yeah, it was absolutely amazing.
14:30So, she's like the number one seed at Wimbledon?
14:32She is.
14:33Okay, wow.
14:34And she's going to try and retain her title?
14:36Well, do the hat trick.
14:37But she's 11 this year.
14:39So, she's getting on?
14:40Yeah.
14:41I suspect a younger one will win it this year.
14:42Oh, Lucy, that's awful.
14:43That's just ageism.
14:44Not necessarily.
14:45Well, I don't know.
14:46It depends on how they look, how beautiful they are.
14:48But with Lucy, she behaves very well.
14:50And that's, I think, the thing that really shows off.
14:53You know what?
14:54Can we meet Lucy?
14:55We can meet Lucy.
14:56I'm so excited to meet Lucy.
14:57I'll go and catch her.
14:58She's in here.
14:59Oh, here she is.
15:00The matriarch she is.
15:02Oh, lovely.
15:03We're here in the bathroom.
15:06And here is Lucy.
15:08And she's had kittens, has she?
15:10She's not had kittens.
15:12Oh, she's not had kittens?
15:13She wanted to be a career girl.
15:14She never got pregnant.
15:15Spent years living with boys.
15:17Right, okay.
15:18But she put them in the place.
15:19Well, you know, some...
15:20She wasn't very keen on it.
15:22Fair enough.
15:23Well, you know, that's an option for a woman.
15:24She wants to be a career girl.
15:25So, I'm excited as to whether or not Lucy's going to win.
15:27That's obviously very exciting to see if she can get the record hat trick.
15:31It will be wonderful.
15:32That will be amazing.
15:33I think it might be the kiss of death, though.
15:34You're loving it.
15:35For me.
15:38Are you going to the Supreme?
15:39Oh, I think so.
15:40Oh, I'll see you at the Supreme.
15:41I'll be there with my team Lucy scarf.
15:44You're married, aren't you?
15:45Yes.
15:46But what's your husband's name?
15:47Ray.
15:48Ray.
15:49And Ray is a dog person.
15:51Yes.
15:52He likes dogs best.
15:53But he's only allowed one.
16:02Part of what fascinates me about cats is that they have a bigger, wilder version of themselves
16:07out there in the world.
16:09The same design, just bigger.
16:12That is a uniquely feline phenomenon.
16:15What other animal has that?
16:17Okay, guinea pigs and capybaras, who are pretty cute.
16:20But really, it's only cats that have a supersized version of themselves that is so similar.
16:27So these are sort of our poster boys.
16:37Brothers.
16:38Hassani and Kamari.
16:39Four-year-olds.
16:40Goodness me.
16:42A part of me immediately just thinks, oh, cat.
16:46Just when I look at it, oh, the cat, I just want to stroke it and have it on my lap.
16:50Which obviously would be silly.
16:52He's not...
16:53Yeah, as I say, silly.
16:57There we go.
17:01Wow.
17:06One thing that I think makes big cats very like cats is that I assume their anatomy and
17:09skeletal shape is very, very similar.
17:11It's just the same, it's not a big scale.
17:13It's exactly the same.
17:14And that's really unique to cats, isn't it?
17:15Unique to cats, yeah.
17:16Oh, oh.
17:17Hey, no, it's all right.
17:18I think I can live.
17:19Whoa!
17:20Maybe not.
17:21Pass on to that.
17:22See you guys.
17:23See ya.
17:27Tell me about the cheetah.
17:30These guys are more closely related to domestic cats as people think.
17:34They're actually still classed as a small cat.
17:36A big small cat.
17:37A big small cat, yeah.
17:39It's really a proper meow.
17:41It is.
17:42They do, like, little chirping sounds as well.
17:44They purr.
17:45Do they?
17:46The same as domestics as well.
17:47Meow!
17:48But meowing is a sound that I believe, and we'd have to ask a cat expert, is an invention
17:52that cats came up with as a way to, you know, make humans know that they want food.
17:57Cats actually will obviously meow to talk to the humans, but they don't tend to meow to each other.
18:03Star is definitely one of those ones that's most vocal.
18:06We can't feed Star immediately like she's thinking that we should.
18:09So, she's doing something that a cat would do, which is getting more and more insistent
18:13about being fed and not understanding why she's being fed.
18:16It's such a cat thing.
18:17We've got to feed Star.
18:18I feel bad.
18:19I think we do, yes.
18:20Here we go.
18:21One thing about the meow is it's a very sweet, very high sound.
18:25Now, obviously that sort of fits with a little animal.
18:27Yeah.
18:28But it's slightly more surprising with these ones.
18:30Yeah.
18:31Their actual voice box is very similar to a domestic cat's.
18:33It's not the same as a lion's or a tiger's because they have the hyoid bone.
18:38Right.
18:39And that is what allows the lions and the tigers to roar.
18:42Okay.
18:43Whoa, look, stop it.
18:44Come on, no, no, no, no, look.
18:47Oh, my God, it's gone off.
18:53Whoa!
18:54Ladies.
18:55Whoa!
18:59It's interesting, the juxtaposition between the meow, which does feel very cute and very sweet,
19:04and the rah!
19:05When they're fighting each other.
19:06It changes.
19:07Yeah, it changes very quickly.
19:08Yeah, instantly.
19:09Lovely to meet you.
19:10Yes.
19:11Oh, maybe.
19:12Bye-bye.
19:13Oh, one more.
19:14You just did that with your hand.
19:15I did, yeah.
19:16Is that okay?
19:17It is when you know what you're doing.
19:24Okay.
19:25So, come on in.
19:27So, these are palace cats?
19:31Yes.
19:32We've got three boys and three girls.
19:33They are all kittens.
19:35They are known for being the grumpy cat.
19:37Oh, really?
19:38Yes, it is their beautiful facial expressions that do give them that little nickname.
19:43They're so cute.
19:44Yeah.
19:45And I don't think they do look grumpy, or such grumpiness as they have is part of their cuteness.
19:51I just really would like to hold one of these cats.
19:54It would be a very bad idea.
19:55Palace cats are actually from Central Asia.
19:58They are adapted for those climates.
20:00They've got the densest and the thickest fur of all cat species.
20:04Do they?
20:05Yes.
20:06So, going off of that...
20:07Do you have a stroke one?
20:08Um, no.
20:09I don't really want to get my hands too close either.
20:11Okay.
20:12They are not really amenable to being petted.
20:14They are quite spicy.
20:16Do they hiss?
20:17They do hiss.
20:18Yeah.
20:19They can spit and they are not really too happy when you go into their nest boxes to try and
20:23clean their beds either.
20:24That's ungrateful.
20:25It's very ungrateful.
20:26Yeah.
20:27They do eat in their beds as well, so unfortunately we have to...
20:29Well, I do that sometimes.
20:30But I never hiss at anyone who's trying to clean it.
20:32No, no.
20:33Oh.
20:34So, we've got one coming down already.
20:35Yep.
20:36Pff.
20:37Okay.
20:38Okay.
20:39Whoa!
20:40Goodness me.
20:41There's another fourth one that's just arrived at the front here.
20:44So, that's one of our girls.
20:48Do they purr and do they meow?
20:52They growl.
20:53They growl.
20:54That's it.
20:55You're really, really painting a negative picture of the palace cat.
21:00So, all animals have an element of this, but I think cats are the best, which is a sort
21:04of deadpan look.
21:05It's a brilliant bang look at you.
21:08He's doing it now.
21:09Like, it's just such a great stare.
21:12Yeah.
21:13One thing that is just very joyful is seeing them peer at you from behind a rock.
21:18It's one of my favourite things to see.
21:20Here they come.
21:21Yes.
21:22Strong sense that they've seen me and thought, there's a lot of meat over there.
21:37I've always really wanted to bathe with lions.
21:41It's a bit like dances with wolves, only more relaxing.
21:48This is strange.
21:50Hello.
21:51Okay, I'm making a noise.
21:54There you go.
21:55It's made no difference.
21:56It often makes no difference at home, though, with my cats.
22:00Well, that, well, that, no, that won't do anything.
22:07No, no, no, no, there's a certain amount of that.
22:09Look at that.
22:12So, the reserve have clearly put some kind of scent or something out there on the balls
22:18and on the area around here that attracts the lions, but I don't know what it is.
22:23Well, it's actually a perfume, so it's basically there to encourage them to use that sense of smell.
22:29How long have you been standing there?
22:31A while.
22:38As I said earlier, the world of cat shows is something of a mystery to me,
22:42because what exactly makes a winning cat, when, as far as the cats are concerned,
22:48they've all already won?
22:59This might be the furriest cat I've ever seen.
23:08Yeah.
23:09He's a Persian.
23:10He loves the attention.
23:11We call him meet and greet at home.
23:14God, they're so strange and beautiful and alien.
23:20So, this is called Percy.
23:22Oh, he's quite a big lad.
23:24You run a catery specifically for Sphinx?
23:27Yes, Canadian Sphinx.
23:29One of the things that I love about cats is that they're furry and fluffy.
23:32Yes.
23:33And this is the opposite, yeah.
23:34And this is the opposite.
23:35But as soon as you come into contact with one, A, they're obviously beautiful, and B, like, incredibly nice.
23:42So, this is Lucy.
23:48Hello.
23:49Yeah, not that bothered.
23:51We've met before.
23:52So, I'm excited to see if Lucy can get the record hat trick.
23:57Do we know where the Sunderland person is?
24:01Do you support Sunderland?
24:03No.
24:04Newcastle?
24:06Site Liberace's hotel room in Vegas.
24:09I'm seeing a lot of silk, which is very, like, again, the idea of cats are sort of luxurious.
24:14I'm not sure you would see so much silk at a dog show.
24:20Come on, then.
24:21And they are...
24:22Snowshoes.
24:23Snowshoes?
24:24There's some breeds here I've never heard of.
24:26What is Inky in for?
24:28Male neuter.
24:29He's trying to get his imperial.
24:30What does that mean?
24:31So, it's the one before Olympian.
24:34OK.
24:35It's a pedigree, right?
24:36Yeah, he's a Maine Coon.
24:37He's got a very incredible, sort of, Star Wars face.
24:41Don't you think?
24:42He's like a mythical creature.
24:44Like a king of our species, like him.
24:47Is Rupert a household pet?
24:49Yes, he is.
24:50And he has very...
24:51Can I hold him?
24:52Furry, yes.
24:53Furry feet.
24:54He has very furry feet.
24:55Look how cute this one is.
24:57She got vest agreed.
24:59And the little girl at the front...
25:00Yeah.
25:01...is another Selkirk Rex, but she's straight hair.
25:04Oh, OK.
25:05She's in the household pet section.
25:06OK.
25:07Because they don't have championship status.
25:09Oh, they're not pedigrees?
25:10They are pedigrees.
25:11Oh, yeah.
25:16Wait.
25:17Got him?
25:18Yeah.
25:19OK, that is a big cat.
25:20Eleven and a half kilos.
25:21I mean, really, I don't do weights, but I could with this.
25:24He's amazing.
25:25This is Brian.
25:26Ah.
25:27The full name is Laurie Coons, busy being fabulous.
25:30Brian has won the Supreme Household Pet.
25:33He's won Cat of the Year twice.
25:36How is he a household pet?
25:37Isn't he a pedigree?
25:38He is a pedigree, but where his coat isn't a clear silver,
25:41it's on the standard of points.
25:42He has to go in household pets.
25:44OK.
25:45And which ones...
25:46What's the difference?
25:47The difference is that the curly-cut jean,
25:49it's a curly cat, is noted, but the straight hair isn't noted.
25:54Isn't noted.
25:55Isn't noted.
25:56No.
25:57No, they don't noted.
25:58Does a non-pedigree ever win best in show?
26:00They do.
26:01OK.
26:02An underling cat.
26:03An under...
26:04Well, I can't say underdog.
26:05So, an underdog cat, if you like.
26:06An underdog cat.
26:07This is a red, silver-spotted oriental longer.
26:10Right.
26:11They should have a wedge head.
26:12A wedge head?
26:13What's a wedge head?
26:14Right.
26:15And the measurement between here and here and here should be about the same.
26:20It's a bit eugenics, and there's a tiny part of me that thinks, in the, you know,
26:25this is an odd sentence, nicest possible way, it's a bit Nazi.
26:29Checking for exactly this physical characteristic.
26:32Otherwise, it's not as good a cat as this other cat.
26:36I have to get my head round that, that that's OK.
26:38Hello again, Susan.
26:39How are you?
26:40Nice to see you again.
26:41Yes.
26:42So, the sense I get is that, in best of breed, Lucy...
26:43Oh, sorry.
26:44Hey.
26:45This is David.
26:46It's the deal.
26:47Lovely to meet you.
26:48Good ears.
26:49Yeah.
26:50No, the ears.
26:51On your head.
26:52I don't make your actual ears.
26:53They're natural.
26:54They're natural.
26:55Yeah.
26:56When a cat is on a cat, it's OK.
26:57It's OK.
26:58Hello again, Susan.
26:59How are you?
27:00Nice to see you again.
27:01So, the sense I get is that, in best of breed, Lucy...
27:02Oh, sorry.
27:03Oh, sorry.
27:04Hey.
27:05This is David.
27:07When a cat is untitled, the first thing it competes for is challenge certificates.
27:11They get three of those with three different judges.
27:13They're a champion.
27:14Yeah.
27:15And then champions then compete in the grand class, which is to become a grand champion.
27:19And once again, they need three grand challenge certificates.
27:21Yeah.
27:22And once they've got grand champion, then they compete in the imperial class.
27:25Yeah.
27:26For which they need five certificates.
27:27And then the final one is the Olympian, which has three levels, bronze, silver and gold.
27:32Do you know, Susan, being with you is like being in a strange dream.
27:35Sorry.
27:36So, to try and make this clear, Lucy is basically in the semi-finals.
27:41And if she gets through, she'll be in the final.
27:47What do we think?
27:48I'm not really expecting it because she's so old.
27:51There's beauty in age, isn't there?
27:53Like a good wine.
27:56Do you know this judge?
27:57She's a good judge, but she's not particularly fond of Bengals, I don't think.
28:01OK.
28:02I'm happy a bit.
28:05Oh, that's a Sphinx, is it?
28:07She definitely likes a Sphinx, yeah.
28:08OK.
28:09I think it's that one next to Lucy she's most interested in, I'm afraid, don't you?
28:13Oh, true.
28:20I have made my decision.
28:22Wow.
28:23And I'm going to give my winner first.
28:34Oh, I'm on a moment.
28:40Well done.
28:43Oh, Susan, congratulations.
28:44I couldn't believe it.
28:45I didn't think you were looking after.
28:49Would you like to be around?
28:50Yeah, go on.
28:51Lucy's made it through, which I'm finding very, very moving.
28:54Except for one reason, which means I've probably got to be here for another hour.
28:58That code just glistled as well.
29:02Is that her name?
29:03Lucy.
29:04Lucy Twinkletoe.
29:08You're going up to the stage now, darling.
29:10I just can't believe it.
29:12I can't believe it.
29:13Well, congratulations.
29:14It was a long shot, you thought.
29:15Yeah.
29:16I didn't think she'd do it through.
29:17What about final?
29:18Did they get any chance at all?
29:19I'm not saying anything.
29:21She's done enough, but we'll see.
29:22OK.
29:25I suppose we're staying here to film the final, then.
29:36So, the Supreme Cat Show was fun, but it didn't convince me of the point of pedigrees.
29:42A chewed ear, a wonky tail, an unsymmetrical ginger moustache that makes you look a bit like the dad from the wild thornberries.
29:51It all just adds character.
29:53I've got a cat called Richard Parker.
30:03He's only got one eye.
30:04He did get shot.
30:05Where'd you live?
30:06It was when I lived in Tooting.
30:08Tooting?
30:09Yeah.
30:10I thought, well, does he live in the Bronx?
30:11No.
30:12Who is shooting cats in the eye?
30:14So, he was in a road accident.
30:16I can't even think about it.
30:17Tried to save the leg.
30:18Did lots of operations.
30:20Yeah.
30:21You know, couldn't save it.
30:22Bobbert is really happy now.
30:23When you call him in the garden and say, Bobbert, he runs so fast on his little three legs.
30:28Fonfer got a tumour in her front paw.
30:32We had a vote on it as to whether to put her down or let her live with three legs.
30:37I'm almost certain it was too all.
30:38I mean, it was a very tough decision.
30:39I think the vet...
30:40Went to penalties.
30:41Yeah, exactly.
30:42But the...
30:43Not the ref.
30:44The vet.
30:45Don't say penalties.
30:47The vet had said to us, well, you know, in my experience...
30:50I know it's her foot, but it's not football.
30:52No, I know.
30:53She was really quite active with three legs.
30:55She lasted at least two or three more years.
30:57What's the cat called?
30:58Kevin.
30:59Why Kevin?
31:00That's what Battersea called him.
31:02Oh, you got him as a rescue?
31:03Yeah.
31:04I thought you meant Battersea in general.
31:05No.
31:06There was a referendum.
31:07No.
31:08For a cat who came from Battersea to end up as the Prime Minister's cat, that's amazing.
31:13But what happened afterwards was loads of cats used to come to the garden and hang out with him.
31:18Really?
31:19So they were supportive of Richard Parker once he was one-eyed Richard Parker.
31:22Yeah.
31:23It's sort of like Bambi, but it starts with the shooting.
31:25Sorry for the spoilers.
31:27So I went into this shop.
31:29So I was trying to save his leg and I said, can I get tissue salts for the cat?
31:32And I was getting homeopathy and all these natural treatments.
31:35And she was like, what's wrong with her cat?
31:37And I said, he's got a broken leg.
31:39And she looked at me like this and she went, you are going to the vets as well, aren't you?
31:44I said, yes.
31:46He's my first.
31:47I don't know if this is good or bad to admit.
31:49I think he might have to be my last because he's perfect.
31:52Got one eye.
31:53He's got one apart from the eye thing.
31:55Pickle was rescued.
31:56Quite a bad environment.
31:57I think it was her, 14 other cats and a dog just fending for themselves in this house with like, just newspaper on the floor.
32:06Richard Parker's only eight.
32:07I've got a long, long time.
32:08As long as the person who doesn't come after him again, which is the end of the film.
32:11Yeah.
32:12If it's a horror film or a thriller.
32:13The worry is he didn't know Richard Parker survived and now he's watching this show.
32:17Yeah.
32:18That would be so terrible.
32:21So thanks for joining us today, David.
32:30My pleasure.
32:31We're in our Ward 1 cattery.
32:35There's some lovely classical music on.
32:37Why is that?
32:38So we play classical FM for all of our cats that keep them nice and calm.
32:41So there's a lot of studies that show that it really does help.
32:44Really?
32:45Mozart Bach.
32:46Absolutely.
32:47That's more of a dog's favourite.
32:48Bach.
32:49Bach.
32:50Boom.
32:51So we've got Parkin that we'd like to introduce you to.
32:56A kitten.
32:57If you want to go in, David.
32:59Parkin.
33:00He's a little bit nervy.
33:02So he might be a little bit shy but he will let you pick him up.
33:07Oh, Parkin.
33:09Hang on.
33:10Oh, he's a wiggly one.
33:11Oh, there we go.
33:12Wait.
33:13Oh.
33:14Oh, Parkin.
33:15Oh, dear.
33:16Parkin, are you all right?
33:18Yeah, he'll be fine.
33:19Oh, Parkin.
33:21You can't see this but he likes this.
33:24I don't like it because I'm a bit uncomfortable.
33:28And I know that my bottom is too on camera.
33:31But you'll have to believe me, viewers.
33:34He's loving this stroking.
33:36All right, so what else do we have here?
33:38So let's have a look down here.
33:40We've got Penguin in here and I think Penguin's hiding.
33:42Penguin is a black and white cat.
33:44Right.
33:45And we do find, not just black cats, that the black and white cats also are really hard to rehome.
33:49Why is that?
33:50It's simply because of their colour, which is crazy.
33:53I find a lot of people say they're not Instagrammable.
33:55The black cat?
33:56The black cat.
33:57Why?
33:58Because you can't get a good picture of them because of the light.
34:00Right.
34:01So it's them, it's not the cat.
34:02If you're a good photographer, you can get an amazing picture of a black cat.
34:05Well, and also having a cat isn't about Instagram.
34:07Absolutely.
34:08I know.
34:09And then the other thing is superstition as well.
34:10So that still knocks about that people think black cats are witches' cats.
34:14Yes.
34:15Is it superstition or sort of racism?
34:16Well, it is.
34:17It's cat racism, isn't it?
34:18It's cat racism.
34:19I've always said that.
34:20I'm glad you brought that up because it's true.
34:22We run a shelter for disabled cats mainly and kind of difficult and different ones.
34:29Yeah.
34:30And then we end up kind of keeping the ones that are too attached to you.
34:33Right.
34:34Well, we had cats given up because people didn't do as well on social media as they thought
34:38they would.
34:39It was like, I thought I was going to get rich off this cat and it didn't happen.
34:41Humans come across badly from that.
34:43Humans come across badly a lot in this job.
34:45Yeah.
34:46Bertie over there has got no eyes.
34:49Can we meet Bertie?
34:50Absolutely.
34:51Come on, Bertie.
34:52Old.
34:53OK.
34:54That is a brilliant looking cat.
34:55Isn't he gorgeous?
34:56It's a really rare genetic condition.
34:59It's called Diprosopus where the face starts to duplicate down the centre.
35:03Really?
35:04It's not really like a Siamese twin thing.
35:05It's his own DNA, but he's just kind of got the beginnings of two faces.
35:08So basically God was trying to create two Berties.
35:11Yeah, exactly.
35:12He looks a bit like, this may not mean anything to you, but Joe Budner, the boxer.
35:18This is Squiggle.
35:19She recently had a really dangerous fatal virus.
35:21Oh, right.
35:22And she very nearly died, but one of our other cats gave her a blood transfusion.
35:25OK.
35:26And saved her life.
35:27This one is Puppet.
35:28Puppet.
35:29So Puppet's got one eye.
35:30Puppet's got one eye and she's only a year old, but she's somehow absolutely massive,
35:34which worked out quite well because when we needed the blood transfusion for Squiggle,
35:37we had to find a cat that was over four and a half kilos.
35:39OK, so well done.
35:40So you saved Squiggle's life.
35:41Yeah, she did.
35:42With your fatness.
35:43So that's good.
35:45That's a very wobbly cat.
35:46Yes.
35:47So why is he so wobbly?
35:48So we've got quite a few wobbly cats.
35:50Right.
35:51It's a condition called cerebellar hyperplasia, which when the cerebellum, which is the movement
35:54centre of the brain, doesn't develop properly.
35:56And it's one of the things the vaccines cover, so vaccinated cats don't get it.
36:01I would say that's only medium wobbly.
36:03We do get them quite a lot worse than that.
36:04I mean, it's sort of heartbreaking.
36:05It is also quite funny.
36:06Oh, it's hilarious.
36:07Yeah.
36:08He has the best time, so don't feel bad for him.
36:11I mean, that is a really twerky bum.
36:15If I was better at TikTok, I'd put her on there with some hip hop.
36:18I mean, that is unbelievable.
36:19Yeah, you really need someone to get in the edit and put some Beyonce on that.
36:25She's fantastic.
36:35Yeah.
36:36She's survived against a lot of odds.
36:37There's a really old fashioned view that wobbly cats should be put to sleep.
36:41And so the vet really, really wanted to put her to sleep and fought the vet nurse who
36:46really wanted to save her.
36:48I mean, I don't know.
36:49If you look at this cat, she's so full of life.
36:51I have never met a wobbly cat before.
36:53But it seemed to be that Bumble.
36:55Bumble.
36:56Bumble is not an unhappy cat.
36:58Bumble is the happiest part I've ever seen.
36:59I'm not getting a sense that Squiggles is an unhappy cat.
37:01Is wobbly cat something you've made up or is that a technical term?
37:04No, it's a real thing.
37:05It's a real term?
37:06Yeah.
37:07Yeah, wobbly cat syndrome it's known as because I think cerebellar hyperplasia is a bit
37:10of a mouthful.
37:11Yeah.
37:12Okay.
37:13So, tell me about this guy, Small Paul.
37:16He's absolutely great.
37:18He's got a brilliant kind of superhero mask face.
37:21Hello.
37:22Lovely.
37:23So, he's your most successful cat on social media, isn't he?
37:25He's definitely the most popular.
37:26And that's because he does a lot of jumping and...
37:27This is my favourite.
37:28It's the first one I ever got on camera.
37:29That's extraordinary.
37:30I'll tell you what it is.
37:31It's a fantastic bit of slapstick.
37:32It's so funny.
37:33It's so funny.
37:34That is honestly, Chapman would have been so happy with that.
37:37So, Small Paul's MRI looked like this.
37:40So, that's Small Paul's MRI looking like something from a Pixar movie.
37:46Um, looking essentially like the nightmare sequence of a cat in a Pixar movie.
38:05Excellent.
38:06You run a cat shelter?
38:07Yes.
38:08Is that here?
38:09We have a couple of rooms upstairs.
38:10They come in, they go into a pen with a few feet.
38:13They have like a little litter room and a bedroom and a food room kind of in a pen thing.
38:21Where do you sleep?
38:22We have separate bedrooms.
38:23You have separate bedrooms?
38:24Yeah.
38:25I'm a bit of an evangelist for that.
38:26Because I think you get a whole bed to yourself.
38:28So, I've got a nice double bed, which is, you know, it is more room for cats, which is nice.
38:32Yeah.
38:33But also, I have my electric blanket up high.
38:34I like to be nice and hot.
38:35Right.
38:36Colin is covered in hair, so he's always, he's always boiling.
38:38Right.
38:39So, he likes his bedroom nice and cool.
38:41Yeah.
38:42It doesn't really work.
38:43I do.
38:44Honestly, since separate bedrooms, everybody sleeps so much better.
38:46Okay.
38:47And then, sometimes we have little sleepovers.
38:48Yeah.
38:49Are you happy with that, Colin?
38:50Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:52You're not actually a cat, you know that, right?
38:53I mean...
38:54Okay.
38:55Because I think you're trying to make a cat out of him.
38:57Because he's covered in fur and he's got whiskers.
38:59Well, look, I have to have a reason why they prefer him to me.
39:02Okay.
39:03It's become a kind of drama.
39:04It's become kind of like a marital play for today.
39:07I mean...
39:08I mean...
39:09Anyway...
39:10Cats.
39:11Cats and rats.
39:12So, one of the points of this polemic...
39:13It is a polemic, in case that's not clear, about how there's not enough or any shows
39:29for cat lovers on TV...
39:31Is that it's really not just me who loves cats.
39:36Do you have a favorite internet cat?
39:45I love Merv.
39:46Merv the cat.
39:47Merv is a cat in America who is one of those sort of spooky cats that's constantly bristling.
39:52Merv, I can't be the cat in America.
39:53Ah.
39:54Merv the cat with me.
39:55Merv the cat with me.
39:56Merv the cat with me.
39:57Wow, wow, wow, wow.
39:58And sort of walks like a crab.
40:00Yeah.
40:01And screams and jumps up the walls and is very sort of highly struck.
40:04It's like a Siamese cat and it makes insane sounds.
40:09Frank Skinner, I had a cat with who we call Chairman Miao, which I'm still proud of.
40:12That's a good name for a cat.
40:14Adolph Khitler.
40:15Pretty good as well, but I can't have that, obviously.
40:18That's complicated. That's complicated for me.
40:21What's the biggest misconception about cats?
40:23They're arrogant and aloof.
40:24Cold and standoffish.
40:26I think they're just independent.
40:27Something with Goebbels in it might be fine.
40:29Right. I can't think of any.
40:31I'm not saying cats are evil.
40:32I think the word I'm after is sinister.
40:34Poor man. Martin, poor man. Excellent.
40:37Well done.
40:37Up until recently, people haven't given cats the credit that they deserve in their emotional ability.
40:44They can feel jealousy.
40:45They can feel huge affection for their cat parents.
40:50They also can grieve.
40:52I think the biggest misconception about cats is the amount of people who think they don't like cats having spent no time with cats.
40:57I just like that sentence because it had the word cats in it so much.
41:00Yeah, so many times that you're like, I don't know what you said, but I'm not pleased with it.
41:04I'm married. I don't need someone else in the house who's being aloof, distant and slightly hostile.
41:11Yeah, you know, not all women are like that either.
41:12It's like they're like cats in that respect.
41:14Right, it's over now because now I'm just thinking of Nazis.
41:17Hiss.
41:18Yeah, Rudolph hiss.
41:19Rudolph hiss.
41:21Yeah.
41:22This is an interesting thing with our cats.
41:25She's more interested in our water than her own.
41:30Sue me, I have a pint of water of an evening when I watch TV.
41:33A pint of water, lovely.
41:34Yeah.
41:35She will drink from that.
41:36Okay.
41:37I mean, cats are 90% asshole, which is kind of why they're amazing.
41:41Every way, from any angle, you're like, there's still more butthole.
41:44I can't understand.
41:46Literally, like, you turn around, they're like, here's my whole ass.
41:48This is something that other people find problematic.
41:52I can't be bothered to then change the water.
41:55So you just carry on drinking from it?
41:56Carry on drinking from it.
41:57Well, you know what people are mainly thinking, don't you?
42:00Let's just say it.
42:01People are mainly thinking that cat has licked its asshole.
42:03It's probably got flecks of poo on its tongue.
42:06But it's homeopathic.
42:09By the time it's got into the water, we're looking at homeopathic levels of cat food.
42:14I think there's a class element to it.
42:16I think cats are quite middle class.
42:18Where I think dogs are working class and upper class.
42:21Hmm.
42:22Yes, I agree with that.
42:24Yeah, working class and upper class.
42:26Like Brexit, in that respect.
42:29Yeah.
42:30One thing I really like about cats is when you talk about dogs,
42:34I think, yeah, dogs are like that.
42:35And then you make it something about cats,
42:36and what I think is, no, that depends on the cat.
42:38They're not very homogenous.
42:40Every dog is different.
42:41I'm enjoying doing this, because this is something you often do.
42:44You make a theory, and you assume, because you've made it,
42:47that you've hit upon some universal truth,
42:49when in fact you just haven't done the work.
42:51Yeah.
42:52I'm more than happy to share my water with a cat.
42:55Right.
42:55Not in a Lady and the Tramp kind of both at the same time way.
42:59We're going back to the national cat show
43:07of the supreme fondant fancy, or whatever it's called,
43:10one last time, because Susan's moment,
43:12and more importantly, Lucy's, had finally come.
43:15I think.
43:16Lucy, Lucy.
43:31I think you should play your cards quite close to your chest,
43:34and watch out for any non-pedigories stealing anywhere around the wings.
43:40Four, five, three.
43:43The pedigree pet, male neuter.
43:45A lot of rosettes.
43:49It's a rosette orgy, this place.
43:53If you've been here all day,
43:55the fact that there's somehow other categories appearing from nowhere,
43:58it's incredible.
44:00Four, five, three.
44:03The pedigree pet, long-haired male.
44:08Best furry, furry fluff.
44:12Best cat that goes outside and comes back in again.
44:15None of us have understood how many categories there are in this show.
44:18I mean, we arrived, I think, sometime in October,
44:22and it might now be 2027.
44:24So, our best in show, household pet, adults.
44:30Clean up butter may have been a mistake.
44:31We have the winner of section four, pen 337.
44:38Yay!
44:39That is Lucy.
44:40Susan is over there.
44:41Winner of section five, pen number 383.
44:44How do you think it's going?
44:46Well, standing really well.
44:48At the moment, Lucy, clearly thinking,
44:51I've got the experience.
44:53I just need to hold the line.
44:55Lucy.
44:56Hi.
44:57We're going to send back the cat from section three.
45:08Lucy's still in there.
45:09It's very exciting.
45:10Next to go back is the cat from section four.
45:15Oh!
45:16Oh!
45:17Whoa!
45:18Oh!
45:19What a disaster.
45:22Never mind.
45:23So, an incredible run.
45:25Oh, I'm OK with it.
45:26She enjoyed her day, and she behaved absolutely beautifully.
45:29She'd like to go home.
45:30And like me, she's thinking, it was great, but enough already.
45:33Yes.
45:34I feel this is beneath your pay grade,
45:38but I'm going to give Lucy a rosette as the best cat in the Catman world,
45:44in the Catman show.
45:45Oh, bless you.
45:47So, there you go.
45:48Best in show.
45:49Thank you so much.
45:50That was really kind.
45:51My pleasure.
45:52Please.
45:53Thanks so much.
45:55That's a great consolation prize.
45:57Thanks, David.
46:00So, there we are.
46:01Lucy won Baddiel's best in show.
46:04Which, to be honest, was no less arbitrary or random a prize
46:08than any other on offer.
46:10Because, as I think I might have mentioned,
46:13all cats are beautiful.
46:15And you can't have too many of them.
46:17Tune in next week for even more.
46:21He does have a really calm, protective aura.
46:24There are certain patients that he chooses.
46:27Hello.
46:29My pleasure.
46:30How many cats have you been recording?
46:3122.
46:32You'll always have some.
46:33Meow.
46:34Right now, I'm quite near fainting.
46:37Oh, no.
46:38Nippy.
46:43And that's at the same time next week.
46:45Seeing crime in a different way.
46:47Police drama Patience is streaming right now.
46:50And if you want to see the cast of the show being interviewed
46:53while surrounded by cats, amazingly, you actually can.
46:56It's on our For The Drama YouTube channel.
46:59Just search Patience Hot Seat.
47:01And it is Cats Does Countdown next.
47:03Next.
47:04.
47:10.
47:12.
47:13.
47:14.
47:15.
47:16.
47:17.
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