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00:00The Loudon Gang rides to the rescue.
00:03This is an emergency show.
00:04We'll add you to kingdom come.
00:05On New Heart.
00:06New Heart.
00:06New Heart.
00:08Weeknights at 7.30 on Channel 61.
00:10Is this thing doing enough?
00:12We're gonna go again!
00:14Just when you're fighting for six, it's back, The Gone Show!
00:22With celebrity judges, the fat boys!
00:26Rebecca Arthur!
00:28And Kurt Rangman!
00:33Joey Carbone!
00:36And The Gone Show Guys!
00:40And now, ladies and gentlemen, the toast of the Hulk, True Gone Blues!
00:51Welcome to The Gone Show, the show that your mommy won't let you watch because she's probably
00:57on it!
00:58Now, here's a trio of dancers who recently rose into prominence in their own opinion.
01:06Welcome to Hits and a Myth!
01:09Welcome to Hits and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Mythic and a Myth
01:39Well, well, well, well.
02:07Well, I'm sorry you got gonged.
02:09I think that these people were a little upset with you because you've got all the gum.
02:15You got some feathers in your gum there.
02:17I don't know if you noticed that.
02:18What do you people do together?
02:20How did you start this act?
02:21Well, we tap dance and we take lessons.
02:23Uh-huh.
02:24That's it?
02:25So how did you meet each other?
02:27Our kids dance together.
02:29Your kids dance together?
02:30So maybe in a few years we're going to see another act like this with your kids?
02:33Okay.
02:34All right.
02:35That's okay.
02:36That's good.
02:37Okay.
02:38Now, this gong that you got this time was, I guess, from Rebecca.
02:42It looked like Kurt was going to move in there quickly, but Rebecca cut them off at the pass.
02:47Why, Rebecca?
02:48Well, they were shedding all over the stage.
02:50Oh.
02:51Yeah.
02:52It happens sometimes.
02:53I thought this was a clean show.
02:55Yeah.
02:56We hate to see that, actually, when I think about it, but thank you very much for coming
02:59by.
03:07All right.
03:08Our next act has a lot in common with Liza Minnelli.
03:11She's graduated from high school.
03:13Now, she may be the gong show's first female Elvis impersonator.
03:18Then again, she may be the last one.
03:21Please give me a hand for Ellen.
03:22Lonesome tonight.
03:23Do you miss me tonight?
03:24Tell me, dear, are you lonesome tonight?
03:26I wonder if you're lonesome tonight.
03:28You know, someone once said that the world's a stage and each of us play its part.
03:31Fate had me playin' in love, but you was my sweetheart.
03:38Act one was when we met.
03:52You read your line.
03:53much when we met. You read your lines so cleverly, you never missed a cue, but then came act
04:00two. You see the change, you act as strange, and then why, I'll never know. You know, honey,
04:08you lied when you said you love me, and I had no cause to doubt you, because I'd rather
04:13go on hearing your lines than to go on looking without you. Now the stage is bare, and I'm
04:21standing there, with emptiness, all around me. And if you won't come back to me, what
04:27any matters now, just bring the curtain on down. Just, just come on back to me, honey.
04:34I'll miss you. I really do. I really do. Oh, so hard, filled with pain, so I come back
04:46with pain. No, no. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. This was a great Elvis impersonation.
04:57Well, they, they shouldn't have a good head, you know. I don't think so. This is a female
05:01Elvis impersonation. Now the Fat Boys, do you have music that would sound better than this?
05:06Huh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah? Yo, y'all know what kind of music we got, right? No. Now, wait a
05:13minute. Instead of Elvis music, do you have better music? Oh, it's one more to mid-range,
05:17two more to bass. Come on, Doc, let's rock and play. Now say ho! Say ho, ho! Say ho, ho! Say ho, ho! Now scream!
05:35Well, you kind of like that too, didn't you? Yeah.
05:42I shouldn't have done that because, uh, because I know karate and jiu-jitsu and, uh...
05:45Easy now, easy now, easy now. Don't get into this. You know it'll be a mistake. There you go.
05:49Thanks very much. Thank you very much. Okay. Bye-bye.
05:52Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building, everybody. I thought she did a great job, though.
06:00She had that, she had that impression down. She had his appetite down. Okay, now, I want you to stay with...
06:07Stay...
06:09Now, I know, see, you think, you probably think these are boo. This is blue, blue. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.
06:19I want you to stay with us now because Mother's Day is every day for our next act, and also a guy who will either make your heartache or your headache. We're not sure, but stay tuned when we return on The Gong Show.
06:32Leonard!
06:35Leonard!
06:36Wake up! Which way?
06:38Better revive with Vibrin. It'll help wake you up. Government experts say Vibrin works.
06:43Well, which way?
06:44Turn left two miles.
06:45Right.
06:47Right.
06:48Revive with Vibrin.
06:51Quick quiz. Which medicated pad cleans better?
06:54I know. Good old Oxy.
06:56Wrong.
06:57Brand new Oxy. Bigger than ever to clean better than ever.
07:02You gonna be in there all day?
07:04Sunny days. Catch some rays. Catch some raisin eggs.
07:10There's a lot of ways to catch some rays. But none like raisin eggs.
07:16Sun-ripened raisins covered with Nestle milk chocolate. They're like chocolate-covered sunshine.
07:22Halt some and then some.
07:24So catch some rays. Catch some raisin eggs.
07:28And now, catch some raisin eggs in the new snack pack. Catch it in the granola bar section at your grocers.
07:36I'm Cy Sperling, President of the Hair Club for Men.
07:39And these are just a few of the men who called our toll-free number for our booklet about thinning hair.
07:45This is the booklet that tells you what you need to know about every hair replacement method available.
07:51It discusses everything from toupees and wigs to transplants and weaves.
07:56And it even has a section on the realities and misconceptions of minoxidil.
08:01Just call our toll-free number now and I'll send you our new updated edition which includes a whole new series of before and after photos like these.
08:10These men are actual clients and not models.
08:13They're men like you who discovered that you don't need drugs or chemicals, surgery or miracles to have a full head of hair.
08:20To get all the facts free and without obligation, just call our toll-free number now and I'll send you the new booklet.
08:27And remember, I'm not only the Hair Club President, but I'm also a client.
08:32Welcome back to the Gong Show. Welcome back to our judges again.
08:47We're going to have a terrific day.
08:49First of all, M is for the miles on the station wagon.
08:53Oh, hey, hey, we're talking mothers here.
08:57Now, here's somebody who drives her kids around so often that she finally decided to take it all off-road and on to the Gong Show.
09:06Please welcome the agony and the ecstasy of motherhood.
09:10M is for the miles.
09:12The
09:42How could you take their shoes off?
09:45The people said, who are the little kids?
09:49I said, I never saw them in my life.
09:52And they said, but they're so blind.
09:57And I said, but I've got my hands.
10:04And though I, my precious kids, I love you.
10:11Oh, my God!
10:14Oh, my God!
10:17Oh, my God!
10:20Oh, my God, this thing's falling apart.
10:35Look out now.
10:36Watch your dress there.
10:37Whoa, watch your dress.
10:39All right.
10:40This is some show.
10:42Whoa.
10:43Whoa.
10:44Excuse me.
10:45Excuse me.
10:46How long did it take you to put this act together?
10:50Are these your real kids?
10:52Yes, they are.
10:53Are they really?
10:54You threw all the Doritos out.
10:56You know that?
10:57This is a very nice middle-class American family right here.
11:02Any of you people that are getting married, gonna have children, this is what you have to look forward to.
11:09Let's look at the scores that we get from the judges for this family.
11:13They'll be judged from zero to ten.
11:15And we start off with the fat boys.
11:17What do you think?
11:18Well, we...
11:19Like...
11:20The kids.
11:21The kids are real cute.
11:22We gave the kids a three.
11:24And a single, we gave a one.
11:26You know what I'm saying?
11:28Rebecca, you have several children.
11:30Do you not?
11:31No.
11:32Will you ever have any?
11:33Uh-huh.
11:34After his little performance.
11:37That's scary.
11:39And a six.
11:40Okay.
11:41This is a good score.
11:43Now, Kurt Rambis.
11:46I like the act myself.
11:47I've got...
11:49Absolutely.
11:50Absolutely.
11:52Hey, you guys, do you like this?
11:53I have two young sons of my own, and it looks just like that when you get in a car, believe me.
11:58I gave her an A.
11:59All right, an A.
12:00Hey, you guys, come on over here while we add this up.
12:04Come on over here, you guys.
12:05You too.
12:06Come on over here.
12:07Come on right over here.
12:08Yeah, we gotta add this up now.
12:09This is the hard part.
12:10Okay, first of all, from the fat boys...
12:11Get the Doritos out of your hair here.
12:12The fat boys, you got a four.
12:14Then from Rebecca, a six.
12:16Kurt Rambis, who's got a couple of his own, gave you an eight.
12:19That's a grand total of what?
12:2118!
12:2318!
12:24That's right, so we'll see you a little later on.
12:27Bye, buddy.
12:28Yeah.
12:30Coming up is a cook's helper who wants to have a singing career.
12:37Now, he got rave reviews already, actually, from the chef, from the dishwashers, from the guy who drives the catering truck.
12:43His name is Richard Christopher Rojas.
12:46I feel good, like I knew that I would.
12:59I feel good, like I knew that I would.
13:01I feel good, like I knew that I would.
13:06So good, so good, I got you.
13:12So good, I got you.
13:13Wow!
13:14I feel nice, like sugar and spice.
13:15I feel nice, like sugar and spice.
13:16I feel nice, like sugar and spice.
13:17So nice, so nice, so nice.
13:18So nice, so nice.
13:19I got you.
13:20Wow!
13:21Wow!
13:22When I hold you.
13:23I know you won't do me no wrong.
13:24Now, when I hold you.
13:26So nice, like sugar and spice.
13:27I feel nice, like sugar and spice.
13:29So nice, so nice.
13:31I got you.
13:32Wow!
13:33I got you.
13:35Wow.
13:42When I hold you, if I am.
13:46I know you won't do me no wrong.
13:50When I hold you, if I am.
13:53Your love won't do me no harm.
13:55And I feel you.
13:58I knew that I would.
14:00I feel good.
14:05I knew that I would.
14:09So good.
14:10So good.
14:11I got you.
14:14So good.
14:17So good.
14:18I got you.
14:35Okay.
14:36Okay.
14:38That's just what we need.
14:41We've got to have a mellow act like this every once in a while to kind of tone things down.
14:45Now, you were feeling good a minute ago.
14:46How do you feel now?
14:47I'm going to go to the bathroom.
14:48He's feeling real good.
14:52Fat boys.
14:53This is one of the hardest working men in show business right here.
14:56What do you say?
14:58Welcome, uh...
14:59We have a ten.
15:01A ten.
15:02Okay.
15:03Yeah, it's close to...
15:04That's a ten.
15:05Don't worry.
15:05Yeah.
15:06Don't get it.
15:06Rebecca.
15:07Rebecca.
15:08I was very impressed with that little thing there at the end on a tiny.
15:11Oh, you come on.
15:15A nine.
15:15A nine from Rebecca.
15:17These are very good scores.
15:18You're doing great.
15:19Okay, Richard, let's find out what Kurt's going to do for you.
15:22Well, I liked him a lot.
15:23Sometimes I carry on like that when I get a bad foul called on me.
15:27Yeah.
15:27So I gave him a nine.
15:28Another nine.
15:30Okay, let's add these up.
15:31We'll recap your scores and see how you did from the fat boys.
15:35You got a ten.
15:36Then Rebecca comes up and gives you a nine.
15:38Are you feeling good still?
15:39Wow.
15:40He's feeling good.
15:41From Kurt, another nine.
15:42Grand total of 28 points.
15:45Way to go.
15:45Yeah.
15:53Wow.
15:54I feel okay.
15:56Our next act now was on the gong show ten years ago.
15:59That obviously didn't stop her.
16:01Now she's back.
16:02She's going to sing and dance in a grass skirt from the designer Lieve Saint-Lorraine.
16:07Please welcome Ann Wilson.
16:13All of me.
16:26Why not take all of me?
16:29Can't you see?
16:30Can't you see?
16:31I'm no bird without you.
16:34Take my arms.
16:39Take my lips.
16:42Oh, don't refuse them.
16:44You took the part that was my heart.
16:59The one I'll take all of me.
17:11Come on out here, sweetheart.
17:14Well, that was a great act.
17:16They said that you were on the gong show ten years ago.
17:20Right.
17:21Did you wear the same skirt?
17:22I sure...
17:23No, somebody took the other one.
17:24This is from my grandson that's in the audience.
17:26Uh-huh.
17:27And the Lays.
17:28I notice you got a little garter on there.
17:30Yeah.
17:30You got a little garter?
17:31Okay.
17:32Yeah.
17:32What do you usually do?
17:36Do you have a job?
17:38No, I'm a retired lady.
17:39Okay.
17:39Well, you made it through here pretty well.
17:41Let's see what the scores are.
17:43First of all, from the fat boys.
17:46Yo, we did...
17:47We know she's like a sexy grandma.
17:49You know what I'm saying?
17:50Yeah.
17:51So we did...
17:52Sexy.
17:54All right, let's move on to Rebecca.
18:03I think that's the cutest thing I've seen all day.
18:07Oh, very nice.
18:09You're on a roll.
18:11She said she's a great grandmother five times.
18:14This one is pretty great right here.
18:15Okay, Kurt.
18:17I thought she was terrific, and I'd like to give her a ten, but...
18:23Yeah.
18:23My wife has an outfit just like that at home, and she may get mad if I give her a ten, so
18:28I'm going to give her with an eight.
18:29An eight.
18:30That's good.
18:31That's good, though.
18:32That's good.
18:33Okay, let's...
18:34Let's look these scores over.
18:36That's good.
18:37That's good.
18:38Okay, the fat boys gave you a ten.
18:40They like this kind of act, yeah.
18:42Maybe you can go on tour with them.
18:43Okay, next came Rebecca, and she gave you a ten.
18:47And then from Kurt, you got an eight.
18:49We had all that up.
18:50Grand total of 28.
18:51That's very good.
18:52We'll see you later on in the show.
18:53Yeah.
18:54Okay.
18:59Well, it's Ring Around the Blondes.
19:02Ring Around the Blondes when we return on The Gong Show.
19:07Yes, it's the Toys for Adults show.
19:10See beautiful boats and exotic cars.
19:12Some cars I've never seen before in my life.
19:14Pick out your new fur.
19:15Ming.
19:16Ming.
19:16Exciting sports toys, the latest in model trains, high-tech electronics, glamorous jewelry,
19:21much, much more, and it's all for sale.
19:24I wish I could have it all.
19:26This is the one to see.
19:27The Senvest Companies present the Toys for Adults show and sale Friday through Sunday,
19:31October 7th, 8th, and 9th at the Hartford Civic Center.
19:34Coming up on the next episode of Divorce Court, a crisis in Yuppieville.
19:41He started giving our possessions away.
19:44Some things count.
19:45I wanted things, too, but things couldn't be the center of my life.
19:49More than others.
19:50He traded in our brand-new BMW for a pickup truck.
19:54It's jungle fever.
19:55It's so nice of you to change out of your loincloth.
19:57Listen, you two-bit private dick.
19:59Coming up...
20:00I hate it!
20:00...on the next Divorce Court.
20:04Tonight at 6 on Channel 61.
20:07On Family Ties, Lauren puts the whole Keaton clan on the couch.
20:10She's chosen us to be your case study.
20:12It's a chance to relive those special moments.
20:15It's a boy.
20:16Thank you!
20:17All the caring, all the sharing.
20:20Publican.
20:20The laughs and the love.
20:23Oh, hey, hey, hey, come on, cut it out.
20:25You know, that's how you got into trouble in the first place?
20:27That's next time.
20:28You went a little overboard there.
20:30Moi?
20:31On Family Ties.
20:34Tonight at 7 on Channel 61.
20:37What did you do?
20:38Make my pants fall down.
20:39It was probably the most moving experience I've ever had.
20:42Dick drops everything.
20:44It was a natural reaction.
20:45To help George with his new job.
20:47The boom of the century.
20:49And top hoes at the firehouse.
20:51I've got everything under control.
20:53Don't panic.
20:54We have to panic.
20:55If only George could prevent forest fires.
20:57We can't find a fire in an automobile.
20:59Welcome on New Heart.
21:02Tonight at 7.30 on Channel 61.
21:05WTIC-TV.
21:06A member of our studio audience will receive...
21:14Roy Hill's outstanding curio features mirror-back interior lighting and two arch doors.
21:18Crafted from pine solids and veneers.
21:20And an aged wash finish from Roy Hill.
21:23Coming up next, we have three young ladies who've been looking for a good TV show to showcase their talents.
21:28But until they can find one, they've decided to do the gong show.
21:33Please welcome Cotton Candy.
21:35We're going hopping.
21:45We're going hopping today.
21:47We're they to pop it.
21:48The Philadelphia wake.
21:50We're going to drop it.
21:51On all the music they play.
21:52I'm on bass band.
21:54We're going swinging.
21:56We're going to swing to the crowd.
21:57I will be clinging.
21:58I'm so high as a clap.
21:59The songs are ringing.
22:00I love a dance that's so proud.
22:02I love a dance that's so proud.
22:06We're going to swing to the crowd whoja's Eargy Fest lég.
22:10We're going to play.
22:12We're going to swing to the crowd whoja's eargy fest.
22:24I don't know, maybe, you know, if you would have done it without the roller skates or
22:49something, it would have been easier.
22:50This is hard.
22:51This takes talent.
22:52I know.
22:53One of these members in the audience to come out here and do a cartwheel.
22:59Yeah, yeah, yeah, try it.
23:01Let me, give me that hula hoop.
23:02Wait a minute.
23:03Let me see this.
23:04This is hard.
23:06Here, hold this for a second.
23:09Okay, spin it.
23:11This is hard.
23:13It is.
23:14Oh, yeah.
23:16Okay, wait a minute.
23:17Wait a minute.
23:18Here, hold on just a minute.
23:19We got a hoop here.
23:20Hold on.
23:21Play it on me here.
23:22Okay, we got the hoop curve.
23:25Let's see the three-pointer.
23:27Wait a minute.
23:31This is the size of the basket in Charlotte.
23:39He did it.
23:41He's an amazing human being, an incredible ball player.
23:47Anyway, cotton candy.
23:48I'm very sorry that you got gonged.
23:50It was Rebecca that did it this time.
23:52Rebecca?
23:53How dare you?
23:54I'm there just like yours?
23:55I'm really sorry.
23:56I was afraid someone was going to get hurt.
23:58Well, that's a nice thought she did it.
24:00You know, you shouldn't do cartwheels with gum in your mouth.
24:03I've been doing these all my life.
24:04Yeah.
24:05She has been, but she's just doing this for your own safety.
24:08Well, she's not that old.
24:09Thank you very much for coming by.
24:10Okay.
24:11Bye-bye now.
24:12They are cotton candy.
24:18Come on, fans.
24:19We'll be right back with a big winner.
24:21Who will win today?
24:22Find out after this.
24:24Yes, it's the Toys for Adults show.
24:36See beautiful boats and exotic cars.
24:38Some cars I've never seen before in my life.
24:40Pick out your new fur.
24:41Mink.
24:42Mink.
24:43Exciting sports toys.
24:44The latest in model trains.
24:45High-tech electronics.
24:47Glamorous jewelry.
24:48Much, much more.
24:49And it's all for sale.
24:51I wish I could have it all.
24:52This is The One to See.
24:54The Senvest Companies present the Toys for Adults show and sale
24:57Friday through Sunday, October 7th, 8th and 9th
24:59at the Hartford Civic Center.
25:03Jack Dugan is a hard-working, honest man.
25:06A man who's living a lie.
25:08Huh?
25:09That's not what it says.
25:10He's become a master of deception
25:12in a world where written words have no meaning.
25:15I just left my classes on the bus.
25:17And he gets by all right until a near-fatal accident forces him to get help.
25:22Are there any signs?
25:23Street signs?
25:24I don't know how to read.
25:26I know I'm just a janitor.
25:27But I can teach you to read and write.
25:29Dennis Weaver stars in Bluffing It.
25:31Tonight at 8 on Channel 61.
25:34Captain's log.
25:35No stardate.
25:37McCoy has changed the course of time.
25:40What are you?
25:46One day soon, man is going to be able to harness incredible energies.
25:52Maybe even the atom.
25:54Speculation.
25:55I find her most uncommon, Mr. Spock.
26:00Tonight at 10 on Channel 61.
26:03On this night, the streets are filled with living terror.
26:07Every gang, this city must be looking for us.
26:09These are the hunted.
26:11I want them all.
26:12But now, they are tracked down for a crime they didn't commit.
26:15An urban war that has no winners, only losers.
26:19This is the night that some don't make at home.
26:22And for those who do, the night they will remember for the rest of their lives.
26:27The Night of the Warriors.
26:29Terror in the Streets, Thursday at 8 on Channel 61.
26:33Touchstone Pictures.
26:35For Johnny and his band, rock and roll was everything.
26:37We play better than ever. We kick.
26:39But when the town said no.
26:40Please get off the stage.
26:41They decided to get a little help.
26:42Guys, we're going to kidnap Elvis Presley.
26:44What's going on here?
26:45And with the king on their side.
26:46Look, I'm saying one night. One night only.
26:48They're turning the town upside down.
26:50You and your band are going to back me up.
26:52Those guys hate rock and roll.
26:53That doesn't make you more fun, won't you?
26:55Ready, set, go then go.
26:57I got a girl that...
26:59Heartbreak Hotel. Rated PG-13.
27:01Starts Friday at a theater new you.
27:12Well, this show has had absolutely everything.
27:14It's going to be tough to pick a winner, but we'll do that.
27:16The Fat Boys, Rebecca Arthur, Kurt Rambis, thanks for being here.
27:19$701 goes to our winner.
27:21Also, this incredible trophy, it was a tie.
27:24It was between the Richard Christopher Rojas and Ann Wilson.
27:27Ann Wilson is our winner.
27:31Look at her.
27:32Yeah, hold on to that.
27:34That's yours.
27:37You're welcome.
27:38She's beautiful.
27:39So are you.
27:40We'll see you next time on The Gong Show.
27:45If you have a good or unusual act and want to be on The Gong Show,
27:48call 213-442-3575.
27:51Some of our departing contestants will receive
27:53Scratch Guard Bath & Kitchen Cleaner from Turtle Wax
27:56cleans and shines bath and kitchen surfaces without scratching
28:00and never leaves a gritty residue.
28:03Don't look it up.
28:04Punch it up with Franklin's amazing spelling ace.
28:06It makes spelling easy, even fun.
28:08It's great for word games, too.
28:10Over 80,000 words from Merriam-Webster.
28:12Tonight at 8, Dennis Weaver stars as a hardworking man
28:23who's torn by humiliating secrets in bluffing it.
28:27But now Jack's meddling father pays a surprise visit on
28:30Freeze Company next on Channel 61.
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