- 2 days ago
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00:01So what's Karen left us on her will?
00:03Well, debt.
00:04£10,000 debt to PayPal, £15,000 debt to Klarna,
00:08you've got £8,000 to Barclay.
00:10Right, I tell you, is this all bad debt or good debt?
00:12Because sometimes you can have good debt, correct?
00:15Yeah, it can, it's right.
00:16Yeah, this is bad. Any debt is bad.
00:19Oh.
00:21And you wouldn't be willing to sort of push it under the carpet?
00:25Yeah.
00:26Because of the tragic and horrific things that happened to Karen recently,
00:28you'd think you just wouldn't even bring it up for a minute.
00:30Of course. Well, that's not how it works, is it? As you well know.
00:32Can't just give us a little discount or something,
00:34you know, like a little something-something for old time's sake.
00:36No, she didn't...
00:38Sorry.
00:40She didn't owe me the money.
00:42I'm just reading it.
00:44Look, this is serious. You need to sort your finances out.
00:46I'm sorry.
00:47Well, Karen does, technically. Anyone does.
00:49No, you do. This is in your name.
00:51Then why are you bringing up Karen?
00:52Because she... it's her debts they pass on to you.
00:55That's what's happened.
00:56So?
00:58Be honest.
00:59What are we going to do, babe?
01:00Don't call me that.
01:01All I can suggest is that Lucia's house was listed in yours and Karen's name, so...
01:05Correct.
01:06Maybe you could sell your current property and it would help pay off these debts.
01:09Ah.
01:10And all live together.
01:12No.
01:13What, without it?
01:14Obviously we're not going to live together.
01:15Oh, so where are you going to live then?
01:16I'm going to live in my house. You're not going to live anywhere near me.
01:18You live with us.
01:19I'm nothing to do with this.
01:20So why bring it up?
01:21I did not bring it up.
01:22Well, you wouldn't let me live with them either. Does that make sense to you?
01:26Sorry, who's this? My lawyer?
01:28Oh, of course.
01:29Some people are the haves and some people are the have-nots. But I'm not a financial advisor.
01:34I am a therapist.
01:35Oh.
01:36Is that part of therapy too?
01:37It's just easier than doing it at home.
01:38Right, come on then. Wife died, left debt, go.
01:39Well, we need money, Ruth. Don't we?
01:40Big time.
01:41Well, we could do something. It might be a bit risky.
01:42Oh, only fans.
01:43No, worse than that. I'll have to contact my sister Claudia. Who?
01:44I didn't even know you had family in your blood, so that's a surprise to me.
01:47Yeah, and me. Well, we're very different people, Chi.
01:49From very similar backgrounds. Long story short. When we were kids, mum and dad got a divorce.
01:52Oh, I'm sorry. That's fine. And I had to go and live with mum because she was the more financially stable one.
01:55Makes sense.
01:56But the thing about mum was, she didn't have a job.
01:57I think we didn't have a job.
01:58And the other one, yes, an all-time job was .
01:59It didn't have a job.
02:00Or a job that didn't have a job.
02:01And the other one had a job.
02:02Oh, it's a job.
02:03I don't know if you were a good dad.
02:04I didn't know if you were a girl.
02:05I didn't know if you were a black woman, but you'd spend a lot more money.
02:06So I didn't know if I joined them.
02:08Dad got a divorce.
02:09Oh, I'm sorry.
02:10That's fine.
02:11And, um, I had to go and live with Mum, because she was the more financially stable one.
02:16Yeah, makes sense.
02:17But the thing about Mum was, she didn't trust the banks.
02:20Look, if you want my advice, think inside the box.
02:24Do something entrepreneurial.
02:26Well, that could be your next task.
02:28Yeah, all right.
02:29What are you talking about?
02:31Make money.
02:38Do something entrepreneurial.
02:45Do something entrepreneurial.
02:47Lycon, Dragon's Den.
02:49And because she didn't trust the bank, Mum buried the block of gold.
02:54Tesco's paved over at the car park.
02:58She spent the rest of her lives just aimlessly digging.
03:01Meanwhile, my sister married a debtor executive.
03:04We doubled her net worth in 24 hours.
03:06Where are we?
03:07We're an elite country.
03:11Canterbury.
03:12Isn't this where I filmed Made in Chelsea?
03:14Yeah, I think so.
03:16Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going?
03:18You can't come with me.
03:19Why not?
03:20We want to help.
03:21Yeah, but I need to ask for money.
03:23And you guys, you already look, you know, mega successful and loaded.
03:29Yeah, fair enough.
03:30Makes sense.
03:31So I'll tell you what, wait by the van and promise me you won't come near the house.
03:35Okay?
03:36Wait by the van.
03:37Don't go near the house.
03:38Don't go near the house.
03:40Where did I go of yours?
03:41I can't, I can't.
03:42I can't do it.
03:43I can't do it.
03:44But I want to do it.
03:45I can't do it.
03:47Why not?
03:48I can't do it.
03:50David?
04:00Claire?
04:02No, it's Claudia now.
04:05Oh, God, um...
04:07Sorry.
04:08Claudia.
04:10David.
04:12Claudia.
04:15David.
04:18Oh, um, um...
04:20Sorry, yeah.
04:22Shall I come in?
04:24Um, yep.
04:26There's got to be somewhere we can make some money.
04:28How do people make money?
04:30Pointless celebs.
04:32Yeah, but how do you get on Pointless Celebs?
04:34Yeah, but how do you get on Pointless Celebs?
04:36I don't know.
04:38I don't know.
04:40I don't know.
04:42I don't know.
04:44I don't know.
04:46I don't know.
04:47I'm Pointless Celebs.
04:48Oh.
04:49Celebrity Big Brother.
04:50How do you get on Celebrity Big Brother?
04:52I'm a celebrity to get me out of here.
04:53I'm a celebrity to get me out of here.
04:54How do people become celebrities?
04:56How do you get famous?
04:57Murder.
04:58I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude.
05:04It's just, um, this is not a very convenient time for me.
05:08It's okay.
05:09Uh, because I was thinking that we could, you know, maybe catch up on all this lost time.
05:16Maybe get back into each other's lives, brother and sister style.
05:20Yeah.
05:21Maybe.
05:22It's just, I can't.
05:23Fair enough.
05:24Um, although, I do have a business opportunity that you might be interested in.
05:35Fine.
05:36Um, but why don't you come to lunch tomorrow?
05:39Yeah.
05:40I'll put on a dream spread.
05:41Yeah.
05:42Definitely.
05:43Oh, and you can bring, um, Karen so I can finally meet your imaginary girlfriend.
05:48Yeah.
05:49Uh, well, yeah.
05:50What, she's unavailable again?
05:52What's she got, like, diarrhea, thrush, scabies?
05:55No.
05:56There's nothing more she likes than a good, dead spread.
06:01Spread.
06:02Definitely spread.
06:03Oh, no.
06:04Jean!
06:05Lucas!
06:06Hey, it's us.
06:07Uh, don't look for us because we've gone out to do what Ruth's told us to do.
06:21So, don't look for us because we've gone out to do what Ruth's told us to do.
06:24Look.
06:25What?
06:26500 pounds worth of cat.
06:27Ah, and a cat.
06:28Okay.
06:29Do you think it's her?
06:34Bethany?
06:35Hmm.
06:36Well, should we just take it to this place and see if it works?
06:38Right, it says it's one minute away.
06:40Oh, really?
06:41Yeah.
06:42Well, it is a business opportunity, to be fair.
06:45Yeah.
06:46Wait.
06:47Dad told us not to go in.
06:49Yeah, but he also doesn't believe in ketchup, so...
06:51Yeah.
06:56Oh, my God.
06:58Bethany.
06:59Oh.
07:00Bethany, baby.
07:01My beautiful baby.
07:02Oh, thank you.
07:03Oh, that's sweet.
07:04No, my cat.
07:05You found her.
07:06Oh, yeah.
07:07It was awful.
07:08She was just screaming for salmon in the back of a local butcher's truck, wasn't she?
07:14Yeah.
07:15It was haunting, really.
07:16She was sort of screaming.
07:17Barking.
07:18She was screaming, twailing.
07:19Oh, yeah.
07:20We just dropped everything.
07:21We dropped everything.
07:22I was meant to be singing today at Judy Garland's memorial service.
07:23Yeah.
07:24We had busy days.
07:25Oh, nice.
07:26Wasn't there, like, a reward or something?
07:27A reward.
07:28A reward, yeah.
07:29Five pound, was it?
07:30Yes.
07:31No, no, no.
07:32Yeah, no, it's 500 pounds.
07:33Wow, that is...
07:34That is...
07:35I'm flawed.
07:36I'll just go and get it.
07:37Oh, really, would you?
07:38Yeah.
07:39That's really sweet.
07:40And it's so messy.
07:41You stay here.
07:42Good job.
07:43Stay here.
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45Quick, go in and get the cat again.
07:46What?
07:47Just go and get the cat.
07:48What?
07:49Just go.
07:50Okay.
07:51Here we go.
07:52Have you got her?
07:53I can hold the steps.
07:54Quick, zip her up.
07:55Zip her up, quick.
07:56Oh, my goodness.
08:00I'm sorry I took so long.
08:02I was looking at my Celine, but it was in my VVW.
08:06Oh, great.
08:10Shall I sit here?
08:12No, it's not a free-for-all.
08:14Sorry.
08:15It's a very strict rota.
08:16Yeah, yeah.
08:17I was looking for tea.
08:18Long story short, my sisters invited Karen to dinner at theirs.
08:22And what did you say when she invited her?
08:24I said she's coming.
08:25Well, that was daft.
08:26Okay.
08:27Wow.
08:28Oh, my God.
08:29Are you sure?
08:30You brought me my Bethany.
08:31Oh, yeah.
08:3260, 80, 100.
08:3420, 40, 70.
08:36You have to count it.
08:38It's all there.
08:39It's a reward.
08:40Get to check.
08:41Now, there's absolutely no way I can tell her that she's dead.
08:44Because she never believed me when I said I was with someone in the first place.
08:47Look, I am not coming to her house with you pretending to be your dead partner.
08:53That's not happening.
08:5580, 100, 20, 40, 60, 80.
08:57Yeah.
08:58Yeah, is that okay?
08:59Yes, thank you.
09:00We need to go, though, immediately.
09:01Yeah.
09:02I don't think there's breathing holes in the back.
09:04Okay.
09:05Thanks for this.
09:07It's been, um...
09:08It's been really nice.
09:09Yeah.
09:10It's been real.
09:11Bye, Kelly.
09:12I had such a happy childhood.
09:22I could have had a great adulthood as well, if my parents had bothered to get insurance.
09:28That's why I called Exciting Insurance, so my future children don't have to worry.
09:35Hiya.
09:36Welcome to Exciting Insurance.
09:37Can I help?
09:38Oh, you answered so quick.
09:39Um, thanks.
09:40I'd just like to take out some life insurance, please.
09:41Okay.
09:42Well, as long as you're a UK resident aged 18 to 104, you may be entitled to a claim worth
09:58£750,000.
09:59Oh, so everyone, really?
10:02Exactly.
10:03We cover literally everyone.
10:06Just a quick formality, but I've got to ask.
10:09Has anyone in your family died prematurely?
10:11Yes, all of them.
10:20Hello?
10:21Right.
10:22Life Insurance.
10:23Exciting.
10:24Get that money.
10:25Oh, amazing.
10:26There better be a lot of trauma this afternoon, Dave.
10:28Yeah, definitely.
10:29Well, no actually, no, hopefully not.
10:30So, what's Alibi this time?
10:31amazing there better be a lot of trauma this afternoon Dave yeah definitely well no actually
10:43no hopefully not so what's the alibi this time I don't know we're gonna have to think on the
10:46straw guys guys I know you've been stealing my cat no no no we um we found her again but she
10:53was swimming yeah in Asda I mean where are your parents dead oh they're poor we just wanted to
11:03provide for the baby that we're having together um would you like a drink or anything oh um I'd love
11:14water if you're making one yeah is that water okay oh yeah all from a leak okay my god this place is
11:24mental did you see how rich and small she was tiny she could easily easily financially provide for us
11:31and Dave even now the thing about Karen was she didn't really have a sense of humor I mean she
11:41preferred well music to comedy and books instead of movies and instead of deck you know that's fine
11:50oh and my sister's husband he's an executive for Dettol so do not mention Mr Muscle
11:56wait wait wait wait all right make sure you're turning down your usual posh for us yeah of course
12:03um right mucker too posh um give us your piece and hand me your old slapper how's that that'll do
12:10thanks thanks Rosa okay here you are thank you so much oh it's not even got bits in it or anything
12:19so how did you get into this state well you've been out of work since the mine closed and uh I haven't
12:26been able to get a job because all my family died of um lack of teeth and or rickets well that I mean
12:33that's niche yeah and um my old man's a dustman that's true yes he wears a dustman's hat oh okay
12:44I mean ideally I'd just like to be doing sort of what that lovely senorita over there is doing
12:49you know but I don't know maybe I'd do it in a much better way just because I reckon I need the work
12:54more yeah hi she looks cream cracker she looks like she looks like okay Rosa Rosa that's very
13:00offensive I will not hear a word against me she told me that I look like Michael Bublé will you do
13:04a little bit thank you now do you know what I'll cut to the chase I mean I I often like to give back
13:08to my community I you know sometimes I give a tramp a grape I probably could help you out yeah because
13:15Miss Stable often needs a muck out and sometimes a horse needs like horse brushing yeah the horse she's
13:22got horse yeah of course I've got a horse
13:24I mean it's okay okay just before you go in can you wear these what's that they're Karen's it's a
13:42shoes and top it's important that you get into character oh no I'm not wearing a dead person's
13:47clothes no way not again you don't need to worry about me okay I talk to rich boys every day it's
13:55my job I think I've got this oh I'm absolutely exhausted I can't believe she's actually making
14:03us work to be honest well it'll be worth it won't it when we get to live in this pussy palace
14:09have you seen that horse oh yeah don't know why it sort of reminds me of you a bit
14:16just keep staring at me um hi you two um sorry to ask just um I've got guests for lunch and I've
14:25got to prepare everything oh yeah no no we um can't afford to be turning down work no so yeah
14:29we'll help no that's not getting people in yeah you don't want me doing that uh okay yeah okay fine fine
14:36oh David welcome oh dear did Karen not make it yes of course she did um Claudia this is Karen
14:52are you all right yes I'm Ruth Karen like RuPaul but with with Karen
15:05with Karen I'm Ru Karen oh okay oh well um lovely to meet you finally Ru Karen
15:15shall we take our shoes off yes absolutely so it's just that I've um yeah the floors have
15:20just been cleaned with hydrogen peroxide so yeah we don't let shoes pass our porch do we no
15:26could I have some privacy please because it's a cultural thing
15:34yeah oh oh yeah of course I totally I totally totally understand that yeah yeah you just yeah
15:43namaste okay oh what just happened then oh I don't think these are coming off I've had to drop like
15:50five shoe sizes to get them on oh my god Chris Chris she's got like private feet I don't know
15:58oh oh uh yeah David but you remember my husband Chris of course good evening Chris here he is so
16:05good to see you again David yeah and this is Ru Karen well yeah of course David's girlfriend
16:16uh oh wife actually yes we're properly together yeah it's lovely to meet you Chris but it you never
16:24tell me you got married oh yes um because it was only a small wedding due to the covid pandemic
16:32so it was a tiny zoom wedding which we held via zoom you could have sent the link
16:41it's so weird seeing you again you know it takes me way back well you know I just thought like a bud
16:49very the hatchet life's too short I have a business opportunity have you still got a piss drawer
16:56a what excuse me yeah he used to have a drawer and he'd like do wheeze in it in the night instead
17:03of getting up and moving oh why don't you go in the toilet it's so unhygienic we're gonna have to
17:10unpack this this sounds like a trauma response to me no because I didn't want to wake up mum and dad
17:17sorry is everything all right there David anyway how's how's your boy do you know I have not seen
17:28visit with this bit yes he he's good thanks he works in law now uh after finishing his degree at
17:35Oxford in Cambridge he's a copyright criminal barrister of attorney good afternoon ladies and
17:44gents we will be your humble slaves
17:45guys okay so this is David and this is Ruth Karen that's my brother and my sister-in-law
17:56Karen yes that's not Karen no no no no no that definitely is Karen okay sorry I just assumed
18:06she'd be more dead unbelievable okay I'm so I'm so sorry please have a little bit of compassion
18:17so these are our new employees Spike and Cheryl we have rescued them from the streets where they're in a
18:23terrible terrible situation as you can see she's nearly ready to give birth to her little baby
18:28and they have no help at all a baby yeah right well that's uh and and how long have you been
18:36together since February really yeah that's the joy of being cousins yeah um may I interest you in some
18:45champers your old tart yeah did you want some champers oh he he's asking you if oh no he's
18:54definitely asking you oh I don't think so yeah absolutely was won't you which tart are you talking
18:58to it is yourself yeah see I told you so I mean you've got to try and laugh they are a little bit rough
19:08around the edges but they're just educating and learning so you've done yeah a great job and I'm
19:14gonna go to the lavatory try not to piss in the drawer I'm gonna go to the lavatory yeah sorry I'm gonna
19:29go to the lavatory yes you told us I might go over to the lavatory as well because I feel I might have
19:40the baby oh really that's me exciting oh god gee what are you doing I told you to stay away you've
19:53got to stop I'm providing for us Dave okay look at this house it looks like Henry VIII yeah well
20:02I'm providing I'm not sure you should be on the bed anyway and Ruth is dressed up good gracious I do
20:08apologize because I was just gonna get the old phone charger was it the the lavatories you were
20:13looking for you've overshot it I'm afraid it's down the hallway okay so the lavatories down the
20:18the hallway is it yeah brilliant yeah because I'm gonna go in a sec okay great yeah and you're
20:27sorry and you're doing just you know yeah well tell you what why don't you go to the toilet first
20:34and I'll follow Spike right lady second I don't I don't actually need to go I was more oh see see Chris
20:43right
20:43eight percent so I'm better
20:48yeah so if you pay off the mortgage you actually would own a small share in the property which
20:58equates to around fifty percent the back bedroom oh shit sorry that's uh showing the bunk beds yeah
21:05there's no possible way you can know about that think anyway yeah it does have good bunk beds
21:10smells good no I'm sorry there's not enough food for all of us we know we'll get taken in then
21:18shall we what here that's great idea well do you know what I think this is all very doable for us
21:24oh why the heck not we're in why not why not well it's family isn't it oh brilliant oh sorry did you
21:31want to clean the horse huh oh no no no no I just visit him yeah he's a good boy yeah he's the right laugh
21:41happy to see me huh yeah it's just a shame he's all on his own you know like a single horse
21:50horse oh I suppose a singular horse would be a hose but horse huh friends hmm family
22:00dead hmm what like his parents yeah my parents died I know well that's like that's a nightmare
22:08no saved hmm from slaughterhouse huh them huh slaughterhouse yes
22:17what they killed his parents yes slaughterhouse yeah saved me too huh you need saving from them as
22:29well oh gracias my god what type of people are they ah don't eat the food it's probably a horse
22:36what what yeah this is a really bad idea Dave okay we cannot live here you have no idea how evil
22:43sick twisted and deranged these two people are living here evil people I'm sorry what
22:51yeah and David do you know this person well I mean look at her she does look a bit familiar
22:58how you mentioned it yeah do you know what if being a have means having little legs tall shoes
23:04and slaughtering horses then I would rather be a have not do any of you know what it's like
23:09to have not parents whatever is happening here I'm still Karen well I don't believe that now okay
23:20okay okay okay I'm sorry are you mental nobody has slaughtered a horse we rescued that horse from a
23:27slaughterhouse in Canada I bought him here on a plane I nursed it back to life you're a hero you're
23:33actually a hero thank you you begged them they would they said you cannot have this horse on a plane
23:37and you begged them yes I did do it in the Canadian accent darling no a horse on the plane yeah but we
23:43didn't listen to them no we didn't we brought it back and we loved it that's really lovely actually
23:50good on you um but just quickly how fast can horses walk because I have set it free out of your
23:58backside oh what right then let's get Rosa Rosa it's all kicking Frank buff in it no I I set her free
24:05as well so okay she doesn't listen does she okay David what exactly is going on here god yeah this has
24:16all been a sham my name's not David it's Dave Lucas my son is not a lawyer he's actually the cockney
24:30chimney sweep sat right here surprise auntie I've got a mortgage that I can't afford Karen's dead
24:40oh this isn't even Karen oh this is a woman I found at a therapist's office last week my business
24:49card no thank you very much just give me give me the cut Chris well see if no tell you what you can
24:59all just fuck off my property yes swearing well get out get out okay before we go before we go is anyone
25:11interested in investing in my debt no okay okay bye bye
25:20fudge off yes well done Chris go on get on a bike and fuck the bike and leave yes don't you do one
25:30that's no no swearing please god forbid now can we get to live room tonight I'm not sure we can afford
25:36takeaways now actually um we might be able to you can see the cat right
25:47takeaways now come on let's go you can be free I don't need all this
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