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  • 2 weeks ago
I CRIED AFTER LEARNING MY BABY'S GENDER
With VID AND PIX
By Todd Sasin
A woman has opened up about the unexpected emotions she felt after learning the gender of her baby.
The mother-to-be had always envisioned herself welcoming a daughter, eventually convinced she was having a girl before later learning she was having a boy, an event she didn't foresee.
After finding out the news she would be having a boy, Molli Sébrier felt a growing sense of disappointment and unsettled emotions.
Residing in Narragansett, Rhode Island, USA, Molli told: "There was no fibre in my being that thought it was going to be a boy.
“I was deeply, deeply convinced that I was having a girl. The amount of shock I felt when I saw ‘it’s a boy’ — I can’t even explain it.”
The feeling she experienced soon after led to the 34-year-old crying uncontrollably as she described she was grieving over a future she always saw herself living.
In an effort to learn more about the gender disappointment she was experiencing, Molli took to social media where she learned that a handful of mothers across the globe had also been through the emotions.
While the feelings didn't promptly fade away, Molli has now eventually warmed to the idea of having a boy and has begun to grow an element of excitement towards becoming a boy-mum.
Speaking about her gender disappointment, the content creator explained: "I know once the baby is born, I’m going to love him with my whole entire heart — but that doesn’t change the way I felt when I first found out.
"As the day went on, I could feel the disappointment growing inside of me. I didn’t even know gender disappointment was a thing.
"It felt like I was grieving something that had never even existed.
“I had built this big story in my mind, and having that ripped away was traumatising.
“I was dealing with so much shame — thinking, ‘What kind of person feels this way?'
“Two things can be true at once. I know I’m going to be obsessed with him"
ENDS

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Transcript
00:00before anyone jumps down my throat saying things like this is your first baby you're ridiculous for
00:04having feelings like this what if your baby comes across this video one day when they grow up i hope
00:10my baby does come across this video one day when they grow up so that they know that this is normal
00:14i also know that once the baby is born i'm going to love them with my whole entire heart but that
00:20doesn't change the way i felt when i first found out the gender of the baby that i'm having i am
00:25having a boy and i was just not expecting a boy at all there was no fiber in my being that thought
00:35it was going to be a boy i don't really know why i always had this picture of myself just having girls
00:41and i was just like deeply deeply convinced that i was having a girl so when the gender results came
00:49back and my husband and i like opened them up the amount of shock i felt when i saw it's a boy
00:57like i can't even explain it my initial reaction was literally like what like oh my god like i didn't
01:05really feel the feel the i didn't really feel the real feelings that i would go on to feel right in
01:11that moment but as the day went on i was just kind of like oh my god like you're having a boy just could
01:18feel the disappointment growing inside of me and so what do i do i go to tiktok to just see if i
01:25wasn't the only one i'd like didn't even know that gender disappointment was a thing i think i searched
01:31like what to do when you're not happy with the results gender results of your baby or something like
01:36that and all of these videos came up and a couple of them made me feel a little bit better but then i
01:43saw this one and it was like you get sent the baby you deserve or something like that well i can
01:50appreciate that sentiment like i was not in the headspace to see something like that and immediately
01:57i just get flooded with all these thoughts like i don't deserve a girl you know i can barely take care
02:04of myself as a girl like why should i think i could ever take care of a girl baby um like my low self
02:14esteem is because is the reason why i'm not having a girl like all of these things and like that seeing
02:20that one video and having all of these thoughts come came up it just caused me to break down and i
02:26literally sobbed for about two hours straight i did the same exact thing the next day just really
02:32cried about it for two hours straight and the only way i can explain why i was feeling that way is
02:40because it felt like i was almost grieving something that wasn't that had never even existed you know i
02:48never was having a girl i just had thought up this big story in my mind that i was going to have a girl
02:54and having that almost like ripped away from me it was traumatizing i'm not gonna lie like
03:02it was so so so hard for me since then i've just been kind of processing it um this was honestly
03:11probably like five weeks ago at this point that we got the news of the gender i said in the beginning
03:15of this video i know once the baby is born i'm going to love him so much i'm going to be obsessed with
03:20him and you know maybe ultimately i'll be happy that it's a boy and it's not a girl and i have
03:27more children so i hope one day i do get my girl but it just has brought up so many different things
03:33i don't have the best relationship with my mom right now a part of me was like wanting to have
03:39a girl so that i could kind of like show that i could be a better mom than my mom is being to me
03:44right now a lot of things like all the trauma that men have put me through over the years i'm like
03:51i have one of those like growing inside me like even talking about it now like i feel like i'm
03:55tearing up like wanting to cry about it um and even though this is like a scary thing to post on
04:01tiktok because i feel like people can be so mean and maybe people are watching this and are like
04:06you dumb like you should just be happy that you're pregnant you should be so grateful that
04:10you're pregnant and again i am like i've said so many times in multiple videos two things can be
04:16true at once now that more time has passed i am getting more excited again about having a boy
04:22having a baby boy i wanted to post this just so it finds anyone else who might be feeling these same
04:30feelings and who might be feeling that oh my god i'm like not even a mom yet and i'm such a horrible
04:35mother i was dealing with so much feelings of shame too in the beginning just like
04:39not wanting this baby to feel any like ounce of like unwantedness from me and i was like i'm evil
04:47like what kind of person thinks this way but my feelings are valid if you're feeling the same way
04:54your feelings are valid and i just wanted to come on here to just tell you that you're not alone
05:09you
05:09you
05:10you
05:10you
05:10You
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