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  • 3 days ago
Mrs. Howell decides to play matchmaker for Gilligan and Mary Ann, but her efforts inadvertently create a rift between Mr. Howell and herself.

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Transcript
00:00Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started from this tropic port aboard this tiny ship.
00:12The mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure. Five passengers sent sail that day for a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour.
00:24The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the middle would be lost, the middle would be lost.
00:38The ship's aground, left ashore of this uncharted desert isle. With Gilligan, the skipper too, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star.
00:55And the rest are here on Gilligan's Isle.
01:01Dear, the opening of the opera, the horse show, two debutante balls.
01:22Yeah, yeah, yeah. What the hell are you talking about?
01:26Oh, nothing, dear. Go back to sleep. It's not your fault anyway.
01:30Oh, thank you.
01:34What's not my fault?
01:36Well, that we're sitting out the entire social season on this silly little island.
01:41You're absolutely right. It's not my fault.
01:43I don't mind missing the other things, but Thurston, the weddings. Oh.
01:51If there was just something I could do here, like a charity ball or a benefit luncheon or making a perfect match.
02:01Listen up, lovey. We won't be on this dreary little island forever.
02:04Thurston! Thurston! Can't the captain of a ship marry people?
02:13Yes, as a matter of fact, he can. Why?
02:16Why? Didn't I think of that before? They're the most perfect match.
02:19A little offbeat, of course, but then that's terribly chic. And it's the right season, too.
02:24Lovey, what on earth are you talking about?
02:26Well, a wedding, of course. Oh, I have a thousand things to do.
02:29Well, if it's not asking too much, who's wedding?
02:44I still don't understand. There's no one there but Gilligan and Marianne.
02:48Exactly. Romeo and Juliet.
02:51No, no, no, Gilligan, that's all right. What were you trying to catch, anyway?
03:18An anteater. An anteater? Whatever for?
03:21For Ginger, the poor girl.
03:22Oh, you mean she told you to catch an anteater?
03:24No, the skipper did. The skipper said she had ants in her belfry, wherever that is, so I was going to help her try to get rid of them.
03:30I'm sure the skipper said bats in her belfry.
03:33Bats?
03:35Where am I going to find a bat eater?
03:39I don't even know what they look like.
03:41Okay, that Gilligan and Marianne haven't shown the slightest romantic inclination toward each other.
03:45Well, of course not, dear. If they could manage on their own, they wouldn't need me, would they?
03:50Lovey, I want you to stop this ridiculous plan of action at once!
03:55All right, darling, if you insist.
03:58But it'd be so easy.
04:01First, we get them thinking about marriage in general.
04:04No!
04:04And then we get them thinking about each other.
04:08No.
04:09Then we get them thinking about the perfect marriage in the flesh.
04:15That's us, dear.
04:16No, I mean, yes, yes.
04:18It'd all be so easy.
04:20We'll let nature take its course.
04:22Listen, and then I'll work on Marianne, and you work on Gilligan.
04:29No!
04:30I will have no part of this cold-blooded, nefarious female scheme.
04:34Yes, my boy, man doesn't start living until after he's married.
04:39We're living now, Mr. Howell. This stuff must cost a fortune.
04:41Everything I have costs a fortune, Gilligan, my boy, except this camera.
04:45It costs more than a fortune.
04:47It's solid gold.
04:48It's custom-made.
04:49Actually, it's priceless.
04:50It's beautiful.
04:51Well, it's true that I do like the finer things in life, and so could you, my boy.
04:54Oh, I never could be a millionaire.
04:55Oh, don't sell yourself short, Gilligan.
04:58Do you think that I was always healthy, handsome, and wealthy?
05:01Sure.
05:02No, on the contrary.
05:03When I was a youth, I was pale, sickly-looking, inept.
05:06Rather like you, my boy.
05:08Is that a kid?
05:08Yes, I started to go downhill, and then I met Lovey, and that woman changed me.
05:12She took me, and she hammered me, and she pounded me, and she molded me.
05:16That must have hurt.
05:17That's a figure of speech, my boy.
05:19Here, take the camera.
05:20I want you to take a picture of me next to this rather rare plant from my album.
05:23Sure thing, Mr. Howell.
05:25Remember that behind every famous man there stands a woman.
05:28Look at Napoleon and Josephine.
05:30Look at Caesar and Cleopatra.
05:32Look where you're going, Gilligan!
05:35Oh, no.
05:38I think I got your picture.
05:40Have you ever seen a grown man cry?
05:49Frightening sight.
05:50They're going to be awfully pretty, Mrs. Howell.
05:57Thank you, dear.
05:58Thurston loves these colorful ascots.
06:01You certainly like the pleasing, don't you?
06:03It's all I live for.
06:05To be a good wife is to be a completely fulfilled woman.
06:09You'll find out yourself someday, I hope.
06:12Oh, I do, too.
06:14I want to get married.
06:15Of course you do, dear.
06:16Every girl your age does.
06:19The time goes so fast.
06:21Yes, it does, doesn't it?
06:23Oh, gee, we could be marooned on this island for years.
06:26And years and years.
06:28Of course, there are eligible bachelors right here.
06:34For me?
06:35Who?
06:37I'm much too young for the skipper.
06:39Well, the professor and I have nothing in common.
06:42Gilligan, well...
06:45Gilligan?
06:48Gilligan, a husband?
06:52Flowers from Gilligan?
06:54Are you sure?
06:55Of course I'm sure.
06:56I was here when he put them on the bunk.
06:57And he said they were for me.
06:59Mm-hmm.
07:00Don't be so surprised.
07:01After all, you're a girl and he's...
07:02Well, whatever he is, he's kind of cute.
07:06Gilligan, just...
07:07Imagine he's having a crush on you and we're just discovering it now.
07:11God, it reminds me of a movie I was in once.
07:13He loved her with a burning passion.
07:16And she loved him like a flaming fire.
07:18It was a good movie.
07:19Sounds more like a commercial for a gas company.
07:21Bye, girls.
07:22Just wanted to see if you got the flowers, Marianne.
07:24Bye.
07:24See, I told you.
07:27Why didn't you say something to him?
07:29Oh, I didn't know what to say.
07:30Well, just be sweet to him.
07:32I mean, he's a shy, frightened fawn.
07:34Just like in the movies.
07:36See you.
07:39Flowers.
07:41Gilligan.
07:42Yeah?
07:43Gilligan.
07:44I just want to say, don't be fooled by appearances.
07:47Okay?
07:48Okay.
07:48What I mean is, sometimes a person can't show what they feel.
07:53Do you know what I mean?
07:55Nope.
07:56Well, I can try to understand.
07:58Sometimes a certain girl feels the same way a certain fellow feels about her, but she just can't show it.
08:06Get it?
08:06I just felt I should say something.
08:14Well, I'm glad you didn't.
08:15I'm glad you like me as much as I like you, and I'll tell you what.
08:19Don't you worry about your belfry.
08:21I'll find you that bat eater.
08:27Well, our little buddy here is becoming quite a social lion.
08:29Yes.
08:30How come he rates a special invitation to the Howells?
08:32Mrs. Howell wanted to thank me for helping her.
08:34She spent all morning picking flowers and having me give them to Marianne.
08:37Had you give them to Marianne?
08:39Uh-huh.
08:39She wanted to thank Marianne for helping her with her sewing.
08:42Was there a note?
08:43I don't think so.
08:43Why?
08:44Well, it's just the idea.
08:45If you left the flowers for Marianne without a note, she might think that you gave them to her.
08:49Why would you think that?
08:50She never helped me with any sewing.
08:51Your innocence is exceeded only by your naivete.
08:54Well, I must say, little buddy, you've left yourself wide open for a dilly of a misunderstanding.
08:58Yes, many good men have been brought to their knees by a lot less than a bunch of flowers.
09:02Right, Skipper?
09:02Oh, right, Professor.
09:04And say, did you notice this morning the way Marianne kept passing him the toast?
09:07And yesterday it was the coconut milk.
09:08Indicative.
09:09Highly indicative.
09:10Well, I want to tell you, there's no telling what's flying around in that pretty little head.
09:14Well, you guys are trying to put me on.
09:15It's not going to work.
09:16Marianne doesn't have a crush on me.
09:18Ginger does.
09:21Oh, Gilligan, come and take this chair.
09:24It's the most comfortable.
09:26Thank you for inviting me over tonight.
09:28Well, it's the least we could do after the way you helped me this morning.
09:31But I broke your price as one-of-a-kind solid gold camera.
09:33Yes, you did, didn't you?
09:35Oh, there's someone at the door.
09:37Come in.
09:39Oh, Marianne, what a surprise.
09:43It is.
09:43You did ask me over.
09:44Oh, yes, of course.
09:46Yes, Gilligan dropped in, too.
09:47Isn't that nice?
09:48Hi, Gilligan.
09:49Hi, Marianne.
09:50Oh, now, isn't this cozy?
09:52Sit right down here.
09:53Thurston, haven't we got some champagne cooling in the stream?
09:58One of our last bottles.
10:00Oh, marvelous.
10:01We must get it at once.
10:02Now, you two children sit there and chat, and we'll be right back.
10:06Is something bothering you, Marianne?
10:29Oh, no.
10:31No, Gilligan, I...
10:33Well, I did want to thank you for the flowers.
10:37Oh, I didn't give you those flowers.
10:38Mrs. Howell did.
10:40Mrs. Howell?
10:43Ginger said you left them.
10:44I did for Mrs. Howell.
10:47Oh.
10:48I guess I just...
10:52Well, I thought maybe...
10:55Oh.
10:59Then you mean that you and Ginger was...
11:04The guys were right.
11:07I guess there's been a little misunderstanding, huh?
11:10Yeah, I guess...
11:12Tell you what, Marianne.
11:13Tell me what.
11:14I was going to spend all morning picking flowers for someone.
11:17I'd certainly pick those flowers for someone as sweet and nice as you are.
11:22Oh.
11:23That's an awfully sweet thing to say, Gilligan.
11:25Well, it's an awfully sweet thing of you to think that.
11:30I'm not half as sweet as you.
11:32Well, it's...
11:32I'm not...
11:33You're twice as sweet as me.
11:35Heavens to calories.
11:36What a conversation.
11:38Things are going swimmingly.
11:40Well, everything's sweet on each other, I'll say that.
11:43Destin, let's show them what real happiness is.
11:47Well, here we are.
11:51Will you do the honors, sweetheart?
11:52Yes, delighted, my pet.
11:54Oh, Gilligan, could we have a little light on the subject, please?
11:57There we are.
11:59I'm going to tell you children a secret.
12:02This is sort of a celebration.
12:03Twenty years ago tonight, Mr. Howell proposed to me, and I accept it.
12:09Oh, how beautifully romantic.
12:12Thurston always had a knack for romance.
12:14He took me to the most enchanting little restaurant, the Tour d'Argent.
12:19Do you remember, sweetheart?
12:20Well, how could I forget a prime bit of income property on West 47th Street?
12:25It was on 52nd Street, dear.
12:27No, no, no, dear.
12:28West 47th Street, and we had Patty du Foie Gras.
12:32Oh, Thurston, dear, we were having pheasant under glass.
12:36His memory isn't quite what it was.
12:39Yes, well, of course, what difference does it make?
12:41Anyhow, here's to 20 years of wedded bliss.
12:45Here, darling.
12:48Mad year.
12:50Here's to the most devoted, considerate husband in the world.
12:53Here, here, I'll drink to that.
12:56Here's to Lovey, who looks as lovely tonight as she did 20 years ago.
13:00May I say, 20 years ago, what a vision of loveliness she was sitting there in a flaming red dress.
13:06Flaming red dress?
13:07I never had a red dress in my life.
13:09Well, you must have run it, because that's what you had on that night.
13:13Thurston, you must be remembering somebody else, my darling.
13:16No, no, no, I can see her in that red dress sitting there, clicking her nails.
13:20Look at my nails.
13:23Yes, it's a nervous habit she has of clicking your nails.
13:26Oh, shall we make another toast?
13:28Yeah, here is to 20 years of harmony and bliss.
13:31If I click my nails, it's only to drown out the noise of his sniffing.
13:35I beg your pardon.
13:36I said sniffing.
13:3920 years of it.
13:41Well, I hadn't bothered you before.
13:43It doesn't.
13:44Not nearly so much as his throat clearing.
13:46Well, you never spoke of that before.
13:50It says I never spoke of your snoring.
13:52My snoring?
13:54How dare you say such a thing?
13:55It took nerve.
13:56Mr. Halden, I mean, miss...
13:59Oh, that vulgarity.
14:01But what can I expect of a man who doesn't know the difference between his oyster fork and his shrimp fork?
14:06That's going far enough.
14:08Don't worry, I won't go any farther, because I shall never speak to you again.
14:11Well, as long as we have witnesses, do you mind putting that in writing?
14:14Um, yeah, um...
14:16Well, here's to a perfect marriage.
14:19I have, as a popular saying goes, had it.
14:34I want you gentlemen to clear space for me, and I'll list my simple requirements.
14:37First of all, tea at seven, Gilligan-Yucati.
14:40Get what I want you to rinse out of...
14:41Wash that luggage, it's much.
14:45That beast of a man can go where he chooses.
14:47I'm not staying alone.
14:48Be a darling and help me.
14:49I left my hair dryer outside.
14:55Well, here we are, one big happy family having our happy midday meal.
14:59Yes, it certainly is a beautiful day, isn't it?
15:02It's a lovely day.
15:03Don't you think so, Mrs. Hal?
15:05Might I have the coconut milk, please?
15:11I don't think I could be heard over the noise at the far end of the table.
15:15Ginger, would you please pass the coconut milk?
15:18Yes, sure.
15:19Gilligan, would you ask the lady who sits there clicking like a parking meter if she's through with the salt?
15:25Your devoted husband for 20 years would like you to pass him the salt, Mrs. Howell.
15:28You're referring to that gentleman with the nasal disturbance.
15:32I have not finished.
15:35Why don't you two stop this foolishness?
15:37Yes, your disagreement really has no basis, you know.
15:40What's a few insults when you've been married for 20 years?
15:42Besides, whether there even were insults is highly debatable.
15:45Are you kidding?
15:46He said that she snored.
15:47Well, now, you could hardly call that an insult, could you?
15:49Well, I would.
15:51Well, don't you think that's a bit immature?
15:53No, I think it's an insult.
15:55Perhaps that proves my point.
15:58Well, aren't we the smart one?
16:00Well, you needn't take that tone of voice.
16:03Frankly, I don't blame her a bit.
16:05Excuse me.
16:06I'm going to finish my meal elsewhere.
16:09All this fuss is because Mr. Howell can't remember anything.
16:12I couldn't remember everything.
16:14Oh, be quiet, Gilligan.
16:16You're just making things worse.
16:18Well, don't blame him.
16:19After all, it was you who started it.
16:21Says who?
16:22Says me.
16:23Well, say it to yourself.
16:25Well, I certainly will.
16:29Come with me.
16:31I haven't finished.
16:33Gilligan, come with me.
16:35I'm finished.
16:35Now, Gilligan, we've got a red light emergency, and we've got to nip it right in the bud, and I mean right now.
16:46Or pretty soon nobody will be talking to anybody.
16:47Exactly.
16:48Now, how did it all start?
16:49Do you remember?
16:50Let's see.
16:50The professor said to Ginger.
16:51Oh, I like to Tony or me.
16:52No, no, no.
16:53I mean with the Howells.
16:54How did it start with the Howells?
16:56Mrs. Howell asked Mr. Howell for the coconut milk.
16:59Gilligan, I know this is going to be hard for you to do, but do you think you can remember clear back to last night?
17:04Can you do that for me?
17:05I'll try to do my best.
17:05The morale of the whole group depends on you.
17:07Aye, aye, sir.
17:09Now, what were the Howells doing when they started their fight?
17:14They were trying to show Marianne and me how happy they were.
17:17No, no, no.
17:18Yes, yes, yes, yes, because they were celebrating the anniversary of Mr. Howell's proposal to Mrs. Howell, and it was in the Tour de Jean on 47th Street.
17:25I remember it all.
17:27She was trying to make everything so romantic, the poor dear.
17:31Well, that's our answer.
17:33Ginger, have you ever been to this place, the Tour de Jean?
17:35Sure. I've been to the Tour de Jean. It's very romantic.
17:39Well, then, we will recreate the place as best we can, and we'll get the Howells there on some sort of a pretext.
17:44We'll set them up with a lot of fond memories, and, well, that should get them together, don't you think?
17:48That's a wonderful idea. I'll be the entertainer.
17:50You know, I'll be the chef.
17:51Can I be the busboy and wear one of those little white jackets?
17:53Gilligan, better than that, you can be the waiter.
17:55Now, let's proceed with Operation Reconciliation. Come on.
18:03Well, this is more like it.
18:05One big happy family again.
18:08Should we have a little run-through?
18:10Ginger, would you be Mrs. Howell?
18:12Yes, Skipper.
18:13I'll be Mr. Howell.
18:17Are you ready, Gilligan?
18:20After you, Pierre.
18:22What?
18:23I heard that in a movie once.
18:24Watch this, Skipper.
18:31Soup, madame?
18:32Very good, thank you.
18:33Okay.
18:34Here we go.
18:37There.
18:39That's very good, Gilligan.
18:40But there's just one thing.
18:41Relax and bow lower.
18:43Oh.
18:44Soup, monsieur?
18:45See you tonight, girls.
18:54Okay, see you.
18:56Gilligan.
18:57Yeah, Gilligan.
18:59What?
18:59Gilligan.
19:01Remember, tonight we're trying to make back romantic memories for the Howells, right?
19:05Right, Skipper.
19:05And in order for our plan to work, we've got to make a perfect duplicate of that perfect evening 20 years ago.
19:11Right, Skipper.
19:12Right.
19:12Now, please don't spill the soup on the Howells tonight.
19:16You can depend on me, Skipper.
19:17Thanks, everybody.
19:18I think you will just come this way, monsieur.
19:22Well, you might let me in on these play-acting shenanigans as long as you're using my abode.
19:28Oh, thank you.
19:30Your menu, monsieur.
19:31Menu?
19:33Oh, what on earth going on here?
19:36Aha, just as I suspected.
19:38Collusion.
19:39A little surprise, Mrs. Howell.
19:41Come here.
19:41We've yet prepared a very special dinner for you.
19:49Well, in that case, you might have selected a more congenial partner for me.
19:56At least she's sitting with him.
19:59Gilligan.
20:00Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Tour d'Argent.
20:03Tour d'Argent?
20:05Aha, just as I thought.
20:07Collusion.
20:07And now, ladies and gentlemen, from the Tour d'Argent in the heart of glamorous West 47th Street.
20:12West 52nd Street.
20:14We are happy to present the one and only, the incomparable Mademoiselle Ginger.
20:18Alouette, gentil alouette, alouette, alouette, je t'ai plus malade.
20:47Je t'ai plus malade, la tĂȘte.
20:53Lovely voice.
20:54Je t'ai plus malade, la tĂȘte.
20:58Hold my hand, Thirstie Downing.
21:00Je t'ai plus malade, la bouche.
21:03Je t'ai plus malade, la bouche.
21:08Et la bouche.
21:11Mmm, la bouche.
21:13Et la tĂȘte.
21:15Oh, la tĂȘte.
21:17Oh, la tĂȘte.
21:17Oh, l'alouette, gentil alouette, alouette, je t'ai plus malade.
21:37Je t'ai plus malade.
21:56Floweres, would you like a corsage for madame, monsieur?
21:58Yes, I would very much, and here you are, my dear, and keep the change.
22:05So, there you are, my darling.
22:07Oh, Thurston, for me.
22:10Well, the little thing has to make a living.
22:13And you were always so gentle.
22:16They're smiling.
22:18When do I get my turn?
22:19Right away, Gilligan.
22:20Little alcohol on these turtle tidbits, and presto.
22:23Oh, flaming hors d'oeuvres.
22:26You mean the howls are going to eat these?
22:28Of course.
22:29Well, no wonder they made good.
22:30Nothing scares them.
22:31Gilligan, you put the fire out before you serve them.
22:35Oh.
22:35Gilligan.
22:36Don't worry, Skipper.
22:37I'll be careful.
22:45Here you are.
22:46Nice flaming hors d'oeuvres.
22:51Gilligan, what are you doing?
22:52Oh, Gilligan, allow me, madame.
23:03Show off.
23:05Yeah, sir.
23:09Now comes your moment of truth, little buddy.
23:12Be of good cheer, Skipper.
23:13I will not spill the soup on the howls.
23:17And now, ladies and gentlemen, for her second number,
23:22Ginger will present a dance she created in her most memorable film,
23:25The Hula Girl and the Fullback.
23:26Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
23:35Ha ha ha ha.
23:36Oh, my God.
24:06Why me, Professor? Always me!
24:20Oh, I wish some other couple could know the joys of wedded bliss.
24:24Oh, no. No, no. Not again.
24:26Hi, Mrs. Powell.
24:27Hi.
24:27Lovely day, isn't it?
24:29Oh, thank heaven.
24:31Oh, I wasn't talking about them.
24:35Oh, good grief.
24:36It's a marvelous combination.
24:38And it's the right season, too.
24:41Oh, Ginger, Professor.
24:42Lovely. Lovely, we can't.
24:44Ah!
24:45Oh, do this again and again.
24:49Lovely, baby.
24:51Now, this is a tale of our castaways.
25:02They're here for a long, long time.
25:04They'll have to make the best of things.
25:07It's an uphill climb.
25:09The first mate and his skipper, too, will do their very best
25:13To make the others comfortable in the Tropic Island nest.
25:17No phones.
25:18No lights.
25:18No motor cars.
25:20Not a single luxury.
25:21Like Robinson Caruso.
25:24It's primitive as can be.
25:26So join us here each week, my friends.
25:28You're sure to get a smile
25:30For seven stranded castaways
25:32Here on Gilligan's Isle
25:35Oh, there you are.
25:36All right.
25:36All right.
25:36Good Nemesis
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