Mortimer and Whitehouse- Gone Fishing - Season 8 Episode 03- Rochdale Canal, Manchester and River Dane, Cheshire
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00:00This is the Manchester Iron Opo.
00:04Right, so you take me back to your old holts, are you?
00:07Oh, you say you're not interested in the past?
00:09No, I'm not really interested.
00:11But really interested.
00:14So this is Withenshaw.
00:16I like the way you said the with there.
00:18Withenshaw.
00:19This is Withenshaw.
00:21I'm sure I administered law round here somewhere.
00:25There it is.
00:27There it is there.
00:29There it is.
00:30Withenshaw Law Centre.
00:31Yeah, so people would come along and would check their benefits.
00:34Yeah.
00:35Help them with housing repairs, damp accommodation, that sort of thing.
00:38And I was half expecting at that point, Paul,
00:41that I might get a round of applause for my contribution
00:44to the social welfare of Manchester.
00:46Yeah, fair play.
00:47You deserve one.
00:48Here you go, look.
00:49Oh, here we go.
00:51There you are, for your social conscience and good works, you know.
00:5330 or 40 years ago.
00:55You haven't got a social conscience now, have you?
00:57Alright, there's a little barb at the end.
00:58You're always a sting in the tail.
00:59So, as I remember, Paul, I think I was in that office at the right there.
01:04There was three of us, three solicitors.
01:07I was talking then, Paul.
01:08Yeah.
01:09I was telling you about the Law Centre.
01:10Yeah, you've talked all morning.
01:11Less talk, more fishing, alright?
01:12OK.
01:13OK.
01:14OK.
01:15So, Paul, this is urban fishing.
01:16Yeah.
01:17This is a canal.
01:18I really like it.
01:19Doesn't it?
01:20Fantastic.
01:21The Rochdale Canal.
01:22Right.
01:23It's very important to me, this place.
01:54It was only a happy year.
01:55I was working.
01:56Were you?
01:57Grafting.
01:58Dancing.
01:59Really.
02:00I spent a lot of time at there at the end.
02:02Did you?
02:03Shaking your booty?
02:04Oh, morning.
02:06Morning.
02:07Shaking your booty.
02:09Yeah?
02:10Look.
02:11Yes, you've got new boots, Paul.
02:12Well done.
02:13Where did you get them from?
02:14They're clearly a pensioner boot.
02:16They're certainly not a pensioner boot.
02:18Yes, they are.
02:19They've got that white sole you look like.
02:21Yeah, they're for a rugged outdoor type.
02:23But look at these.
02:24They're so much more subtle.
02:26They suit my longer leg as well.
02:28I'll tell you what the big difference here is, Paul.
02:30Yeah?
02:31Is gentleman's boot, ladies.
02:33No.
02:34Ladies boot.
02:35That really looks like a ladies orthopedic shoe.
02:37Little wheelie boot.
02:39Mine's like, get up that mountain.
02:41Ha, ha, ha.
02:50So what might we catching here?
02:52Maybe some little roach.
02:54Gudgeon.
02:56Bleak.
02:57Perch.
02:58Basically the staple of my fishing when I was...
03:00Because I used to fish canals like this when I was a kid, Bob.
03:03You caught a fish?
03:04He's got one already.
03:05Little perch, look.
03:06Check out Whitehouse.
03:07As I said.
03:08Wow!
03:09I'll tell you what, though.
03:11You knock the little perch at your peril, Bob, because they save you an angler on many a day.
03:16So first cast, Paul.
03:18Yep.
03:19Bye-bye, little perchy.
03:21Hello, Ted.
03:23I'll tell you what, this place is a Muppet's town, isn't it?
03:26Get me back to London.
03:27It's not a real city.
03:28Hello, Teddy.
03:29You all right, Ted?
03:30Yeah, so I lived in Manchester for two, three years.
03:35I loved it here.
03:36Really loved it.
03:37What were you doing here, Bob?
03:38I don't see you as Manchester, really.
03:40I was a student doing the law finals, and it was my one and only happy experience as a student.
03:47What was, being in Manchester?
03:48Being in Manchester.
03:49I was a student.
03:50Where were you, where else were you a student?
03:52Were you somewhere like Leicester?
03:53I was at Leicester, and I was at the University of Sussex near Brighton.
03:58Why didn't you do the rounds at all these places, Bob?
04:02Because I didn't want to face real life, you know?
04:07So I came to Manchester.
04:09Yeah.
04:10And fell in love with the place.
04:12And it was because of one young lad at the time, called Paddy Gold.
04:16Because three years at Sussex, two years at Leicester, I'd never met anyone.
04:22I couldn't meet people, Paul.
04:24And I turned up on the first day here, and a little Scouse lad, all right.
04:31I wore a Middlesbrough football top to try and say, look, I'm this type of person.
04:35You've tried that a few times.
04:36I tried it at Brighton, it didn't work.
04:38And little Paddy came up to me and said, all right, lad.
04:41I was thinking we'd start a football team.
04:44And that was the most amazing gift.
04:47Really?
04:48Oh, wow, yeah.
04:50I had a really fabulous year here.
04:52With Paddy, Bendy, the walrus.
04:55Bendy?
04:56Yeah, Bendy Chris, the walrus.
04:59Big Tash, obviously.
05:01Jonah.
05:03Whoa.
05:05Getting a lot of bites here, Bob.
05:06And, Paul, this is absolutely true.
05:08This is the thing.
05:09Yeah.
05:10Two weeks ago, I got a letter from Paddy.
05:14Did you?
05:15Yeah, just telling me what had happened to Bendy and all our mates.
05:18What happened to Bendy?
05:20He straightened out and he'd keep the mood.
05:22So, hence.
05:25Yes.
05:26That's kind of the reason we're right in the middle of here.
05:28I've asked Paddy to come along, say hello.
05:30I haven't seen him for, I reckon, 30 years.
05:32You're joking.
05:3330 years.
05:34But he was so important in me life, you know.
05:38Bop, bop, bop, bop.
05:54Yes, I know.
05:55You're in, then, without knowing it.
05:57That's angling, Paul.
05:59You're fishing, I'm angling.
06:01Oh, I like it.
06:02I like the distinction.
06:04Oop.
06:07He saw your boots.
06:09And he went,
06:11Whoa!
06:12And when he saw that the person who'd caught him
06:15was wearing your boots, he thought,
06:17Oh, I'm off.
06:30God, this is a bit grim, isn't it, Bob?
06:34I didn't even put suitable wet weather clothing on.
06:37Look at it!
06:39Should we seek shelter under the bridge or something?
06:42I think we should, don't you?
06:43Eminem.
06:46God, dear.
06:47God, they're building, aren't they?
07:00They don't know why, but they're building.
07:02They can't stop.
07:03How do they get them cranes up there?
07:06I don't know, Bob.
07:15Paddy's on his way.
07:16Bob, I'm going to go and do some jigging.
07:18Really?
07:19Yeah.
07:20Do you remember this?
07:21Oh, your little...
07:22A little sort of debonair.
07:23Yeah.
07:24Debonair, you mean debonums?
07:25There we are.
07:26Go with your booty.
07:27You look good, man.
07:28OK.
07:29Bonne chance, Marie.
07:31Old lady walking.
07:32God, them boots, Paul.
07:38Buddy.
07:39How you doing, mate?
07:40Oh, man.
07:41How long is it since I've seen you?
07:42You're taller than me now.
07:43Incredible, mate.
07:44How are you?
07:45How are you?
07:4630 years or something.
07:47It's not this century.
07:48You haven't seen it in this century, yeah.
07:49It's true, isn't it?
07:50Yeah.
07:51Yeah, it's great to see you.
07:52My best student year was here in Manchester.
07:55It was great.
07:56It was great.
07:57It was great.
07:58We had a good time, didn't we?
07:59We had a good time, didn't we?
08:00We did.
08:01We were out nearly every night, weren't we?
08:02Yep.
08:03And we used to drink five pints and then we'd go home and we'd get a Mongolian cheeseburger.
08:08Yeah.
08:09Yeah.
08:10From a little place on Oxford Road.
08:11I mean, this was a great place, wasn't it?
08:12Yeah.
08:13It was a great place for a young person.
08:16It was cheap, everything was cheap, 50p to get in the Hacienda and 50p for a pint.
08:24Incredible, wasn't it?
08:25It was my best year as well, because it was authentic, wasn't it?
08:27It was a really authentic place, yeah.
08:28It was cheap.
08:31Yeah, it wasn't.
08:32It was cheap.
08:3450p to get in the Hacienda and 50p for a pint.
08:36Incredible, wasn't it?
08:37It was also my best year.
08:38I remember, honestly, I remember my best year, quite a while.
08:41student experience yeah you're part of a great city and there was loads going on
08:45he's full hello paddy you see you yeah have you caught anything no no he's got
08:51a fishing head on paddy I'll see you in a bit she is
09:00the other big thing about the year was the footy wasn't football yeah because
09:05you're a good player weren't you I wasn't on the quiet a decent you do you
09:08do you remember me specialist tackle me Peter Beasley yeah yeah remember your
09:13back header you scored a winner with the back header did I mean to no yeah no it was
09:20great year and we had this little group me you bendy Jonah the walrus and we had a
09:25lovely time we did it's all that matters in life in it those connections it's all
09:29that matters so when did you pack in the law god I don't know yeah I was there 29 30 right so and
09:42you're going back to it presumably one day I've wanted yeah they won't be back yeah no we did
09:49talk about having our own fair one time did we really yeah it wouldn't last a very long would
09:53have god no no we did you just had bacon bombs and talked about 40 you know yeah it's been
10:02brilliant seeing you after all these years yeah buddy thank you for popping down so the next time
10:06we'll be about a hundred what we give people on this yeah
10:18and that's it you'll come in a minute a good boy
10:26how do you seem like a very nice guy very calm yeah no sweet sweet God it's it's bittersweet in
10:40some ways because yeah we had such a lovely time me and Paddy here yeah but it also you know we're
10:45talking about seeing the Smiths at the aseenda and yeah drinking and all the things we did and you
10:52can't help remembering we was quite young and vibrant yeah big old group of mates playing
10:58football and that and that's all good so there's a like a bit of sweet in that sense yeah but you
11:03had it didn't you Bob you had it you know yeah still there on it and the the thing is is I think
11:09there's a lesson to be learned because I was a shy lad I know you don't believe me and there's
11:14shy lads all over the place and so that little gift of just letting them into all right yeah oh here
11:19what are you up to because I think a lot of the shy ones are worth having a chat to you know
11:25some won't be yeah but you might be right there Bob actually but what a great gift to give so no
11:32it was brilliant yeah
11:35happiness more or less it's used to changing me something in my liberty
11:53well Paul we've done the urban fishing yeah I think it's time that I took you to the accommodation
12:07it may be the highest accommodation I've ever put you in it might even be the most luxurious
12:16because what we're lacking in luxury here yeah I'm gonna make up oh now you're talking
12:23this is a bit flashbulb yeah I think you know this is gonna be good don't you
12:48like me yeah come on Teddy come on Ted nice nice room though yeah the bedrooms are identical Paul
12:55whoa oh look at this 15 stories well highest I've ever stayed is it um footballer style Bob yeah this
13:06actual building point you know it's Manchester yeah and when the players from abroad come they stay here
13:11luxury life isn't it it is yeah oh hello Ted this is my room Teddy nice room Bob you'll like yours
13:21what's through here
13:25oh oh you beauty
13:31Paul yeah come through here a minute
13:34welcome there was a third undocumented bedroom that they're now calling Bob's bedroom
13:44oh who's they everyone from the mayor downwards hey Paul
13:52there's more come through here have a look at that have a look at this
13:56oh you look Paul it's got a sink for your left hand sink for your right hand right bath overlooked by
14:07many other high dwellers oh yeah see yeah do you like it do you wish it was yours
14:13i'm not going to give you the benefit of envy Bob on my part you're not getting it all right yeah you do
14:18it with your boots though don't you are we going to get takeaway get something delivered yeah what do
14:29you fancy Paul Mexican um Thai i like Thai well you're not having it because i'm getting fish and
14:37chips oh are we fish and chips yeah i'm fishing chips oh okay oh i'll tell you what you're having
14:43having gravy you know it's a new thing graze now is to have a gravy gravy's not new bob it's not
14:48no but to have it with your fish all right i'll try it it says it will be that ain't bad go on 20
14:56minutes that's all right that's tolerable that is because i've got a 20 minute hole there okay yeah
15:03i'll come and join you
15:04have you ever lived up north no i haven't actually furthest north you've been somewhere like harrow or
15:15something like that no i've been to john of groats how limited you you are i've been to many places
15:21yeah but yeah perhaps i'm not as adventurous as some men now they all go off backtracking don't they
15:25round the world they're amazing aren't they do you remember in our time there was the when that rail
15:30car came in yeah and that was wow you can go to europe yeah yeah i went on a my first flight was um
15:37propellers so oh you've hit besides me i went to um italy propellers
15:45italy in the propellers yeah did you have pizza while you were there no but i had a massive tomato
15:50that lasted for six days about like that we all just sliced a bit yeah yeah but on your shoulder and
15:58off you went yeah around florence oh there he is what is that fish chip yeah hi there thank you
16:09very much there you go thank you very much northerners are very protective of the fish and
16:16chips we reckon our fishing chips are great i know you're ready for your gravy i'm not sure i am
16:23yeah let me try that yeah it's all right gravy and chip ted what do you think i am get out of it
16:39coming in here we go night of football thank you fantastic
16:53morning paul ah morning bob thank you uh reprising your role as um t-boy that's a lot of fun your
17:07first job yeah yeah i wasn't a t-boy yes you were nice looking city in it beautiful what a lovely morning
17:13yeah um so where we're fishing today then the river dane the smallest river about 40 minutes away it's going
17:21to be your classics your roach grayling i mean it's a it's a freshwater river pole yeah so it's got
17:28fresh water fish in it well should we go and catch them then yep yep
17:3545 minutes out of manchester and here we are in this uh little rural haven eh yeah
17:55so this river dane that i've chosen yes do you know anything of it and it looks beautiful i don't
18:01know anything about it really bob but i've seen some pictures and it does look very pretty doesn't
18:06it what are you gonna go for or go for grayling i'll trot i'm just gonna trot and see what i see what
18:12you get yeah nice so here we are port yeah the river dane oh it looks great doesn't it yeah fantastic
18:27little river well done thank you yeah it's pretty isn't it yeah a bit grim with them will there be any
18:34fish in here yeah of course there will ted get off the bait ted get off ted what's he like said he's
18:42had a banana already yeah will you pick a spot oh come on teddy come on ted i'm hoping we get a
18:54little bit of sun peeps through every now and then but that's all we need oh we need a little peep
19:11the river's rising but the rain's easing off so it's something at least
19:14oh oh i think something's just hit the line i genuinely do no fair enough but you know what i mean
19:25yeah let's see it's a bit further out the back go on swing it up i'll get rid of all that for you
19:33robert there's your valet what's your silly fingers do you mean thank you no i mean what's
19:43your silly fingers things i put up with from you bob right here we go pass part two
19:56okay that's good right lock it in lock it down oh what no no so i think that's just it
20:08it has drifted around still you can keep your hand on the road why so the rod doesn't fall off and
20:14the wind doesn't blow it off and you ruin your presentation have you ever been in a room with
20:21an elephant so you could actually say hey there's an elephant in the room i mean it'd be the first
20:26thing you'd say yeah obviously have you no i saw a giraffe in the wild once there's no relevance between
20:35those two statements well they're both big animals aren't they yeah but one was outside we expect it
20:39to be like an elephant big fish under right under that tree over there giraffe in the room you haven't
20:44seen a giraffe in a room have you no i'll tell you what i saw in the wild a giraffe and only 100 yards
20:52from it was a rhinoceros okay rhinoceroses of big things you know paul really honestly really i always
20:59imagine they were sort of really small no honestly they're really big are they bloody hell that's all you
21:10know can i say something bob i think if there was any hope of us catching a fish and there was some
21:27chub in there they would have taken that meat by now will you have a nickname keith downey
21:32of the disappointment honestly you're so odious odious maximus at pompey remember that yeah
21:44i sat behind frankie howard once and he was leaning forward yeah and honestly you could have fitted a
21:49little mouse under his wig it all stuck really it all went yeah wow well not a mouse you could probably
21:56got a liquorice all thought yes no yes who's touching the back there is that a mouse oh please yourselves
22:15right let's try a different spot bob come on
22:22the weather's on the turn again but they ain't gonna stop us
22:26hey ted you're my angling hero paul no you are can you imagine you're somebody's hero
22:43yeah it's nice to be your hero bob you're my comedy hero oh that's nice
22:56yeah i mean something good get the net bob it's right there wind yours in because it's quite a nice
23:08fish it's not massive but it's a grayling you got a net get a net you're kidding me i'm not look
23:15oh that's why you're my hero paul do you understand get the netting get the netting get the netting
23:21wallop yes a granny wow bob what a treat to get a granny
23:31honey wow he's fresh a beautiful grayling what a beautiful surprise that was amazing i mean i know
23:38we said we might but oh you can see the lilac off you go and away well done there she goes okay okay
23:47get out of it how about that nice eh oh my god
23:54should we go go in the car have a cup of tea or something to see if this passes yeah this is
24:06crazy isn't it
24:15blimey bob i'm glad to be out of that it's getting worse isn't it i didn't think it could get any worse
24:21i don't think we're going to be catching much else after this that river's going to go yes
24:26i know it's like december or something isn't it nice cup of tea
24:34oh it's nice and hot i can feel it oh that is hot isn't it all right teddy it's okay mate
24:39he's got a cold hasn't he oh yeah hasn't he funny when ted's in the car and he's wet
24:43it takes on the smell of a yeast factory oh he's in my lap that he's on not yours mate
24:51i quite enjoyed this ball it's okay yeah wait till it passes it's a little haven
25:06someone really famous thought was sting it's always sting the other day he was on the tally
25:13yeah and he said oh it's great to be back in england and you know what said when the sun is shining
25:20there is no nowhere more beautiful in the whole world do you know what that's what he said
25:25i saw that concert and he went when you are coming back to hangland and the sun is shining it's the
25:32the best place the best place ever to be best place in the world right rocks on
25:43hey stopping now bob's fine there's sun over this way
25:58i bought some new taps over there to celebrate um a new day national tap day
26:09bob yes what yeah anyway yeah your new taps yeah bath taps for national tap day yeah and they're so
26:18bright really that i have to wear sp 50. wow they're that bright when i'm in the bath for that
26:23bright right i got it wrong and i bought some tap shoes i've got international tap day well i know
26:28it's yeah people do what color are your taps like the sun it's the brightest silver it's like beyond
26:36chrome is that what it's called it's that's a great color isn't it beyond chrome
26:42oh that is my beautiful
26:59hey paul isn't it lovely to finish this trip in the sunshine it's glorious and it can't you can't
27:05comprehend it it was this is the same day as earlier yeah amazing this is this is when it makes sense in
27:11it yeah this is when two old codgers with their fragile bones yeah weak minds
27:18can actually have a nice little time yeah i enjoyed staying in that luxury accommodation paul and
27:23living the high life like a football the footballers we weren't yeah for a few days
27:29i'll tell you what though bob we've got so much more than footballers haven't we you reckon
27:34we've got this and i've got you yeah we've got each other imagine that yeah fish on bob fish on i mean not
27:47fish on but let us fish on
27:50nobody can tell you
27:54there's only one song worth singing they may try and sell you
28:01cause it hangs them up to see someone like you
28:09you've gotta make your own kind of
28:18make your own kind of music
28:22even if nobody else
28:24even if nobody else in the world
28:30you're gonna be nowhere
28:32you're gonna be nowhere
28:34the loneliest kind of lonely
28:38it may be
28:40it may be rough going
28:42just to do your thing
28:44the hardest thing to do
28:48but you're gonna
28:50make your own kind of music
28:54sing your own special song
28:58make your own
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