Taskmaster - Season 20 Episode 07- Drier Than You Think, Chalk
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00:00MUSIC
00:04Hey!
00:05GAH!
00:07GAH!
00:08GAH!
00:09Nothing's ever straightforward in this stupid house.
00:11GAH!
00:12GAH!
00:13GAH!
00:14GAH!
00:15GAH!
00:16GAH!
00:17GAH!
00:18GAH!
00:19GAH!
00:20GAH!
00:21GAH!
00:22GAH!
00:23Hello there, I'm Greg Davies.
00:26Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:28They say it's not the winning that counts, it's the taking part.
00:32And if you're a child watching the pre-Watershed version of this show,
00:35I'm here to tell you an uncomfortable truth.
00:37You're being told that because you're not good enough.
00:40GAH!
00:41That's the kids sorted.
00:42Now...
00:43GAH!
00:45Let's see if we can break some adults.
00:47Please, welcome...
00:49Anya Magliano!
00:51GAH!
00:52Maziana!
00:54Phil Ellis!
00:56Rich Shearsmith!
00:58And Sandy Baskar!
01:04And next to me, a man who secretly told me,
01:06and I really must distance myself from comments like this,
01:09that he thinks that women are like electric vehicles.
01:13Really good, as long as they're not in charge.
01:16GAH!
01:17He didn't have a return!
01:19GAH!
01:20GAH!
01:21GAH!
01:22Hello, everyone.
01:24How are you feeling?
01:25I'm feeling good.
01:26Unfortunately, lurgy!
01:27You've got the lurgy now.
01:28No returns!
01:29No returns.
01:30I've had that for two months.
01:32You've now got it?
01:33You can't get me.
01:34Oh, cheese touch!
01:35Bad luck.
01:36Can't get me.
01:37You're now a social outcast.
01:39Cheese touch?
01:40Yeah, yeah.
01:41Oh, no.
01:42You've got loads of up dog on your waistcoat.
01:45What's up dog?
01:46Not much.
01:47What about you?
01:48That has killed the atmosphere.
01:55What's the prize task?
01:57What's the prize task?
01:58You've been very specific, yet incredibly vague with this one, Greg.
02:02Mm.
02:03So you've been asked to bring in the best thing you can either ride or rip.
02:08Yes.
02:09Ride or rip.
02:10Or is it both?
02:11That's up to Greg, my favourite host ever.
02:14So we know the episode will take home all five things.
02:17You can either ride or rip, or both, maybe, which is pretty sick and gnarly,
02:20but that's quite enough for me.
02:21I'll see you all later.
02:22OK, Sanjeev.
02:23Hello.
02:24What have you brought me that I might like to ride?
02:26Or rip.
02:27I figured the most fun thing to ride would be Alex Horne.
02:33According to the internet, I agree.
02:38Yeah.
02:39I brought something which will allow you to be able to manoeuvre him.
02:44Oh.
02:45Perfectly fits Alex Horne's head.
02:51Lovely.
02:52And obviously you've got rear view mirrors so you can see what's coming up behind you.
02:55Yeah.
02:56And you've got a bell to warn people that your Alex Horne's coming.
03:06And I mean that in a pre-Watershed way.
03:08So anyone can ride me, can they, with this device?
03:11You could be on all fours and somebody can be sitting on your back,
03:14and they've got your head.
03:15Oh, yeah.
03:16Also sitting on your shoulders, like that.
03:18Oh, and leaning down.
03:19Yeah.
03:20Oh, like a penny farthing.
03:21Like a penny farthing.
03:22Like a penny farthing.
03:25Phil.
03:26So this is something that you are ripping and riding at the same time.
03:32Hello.
03:33If you'd like to show.
03:34Here it is.
03:35Check this out.
03:37So you're ripping off a very famous Monty Python joke.
03:42And you're riding an imaginary, could be a pony, could be a horse.
03:45Could be a camel.
03:46Could be.
03:47Depends what need you're in.
03:48And I've put a nice little ribbon on it, so you can wear it round like mittens for your coat.
03:52Because if you lose one, you're just a madman waving round half a coconut.
03:59Yeah.
04:00On the M1.
04:01But when you're on the M1, you've got two.
04:02Yeah, yeah.
04:03Great.
04:04And they go, oh, don't beat the horn here, it'll startle her.
04:07I like it.
04:08Amazing.
04:09I've gone all right on this one.
04:12I'm hoping it will please you, Greg.
04:15It's even been mentioned so far.
04:17It's a personalised Greg Davies.
04:20Oh, yeah.
04:22Honey for them.
04:24It's pretty good.
04:27It's pretty amazing.
04:29It is going to be a struggle for you to get in that seat, but my God, it will feel brilliant.
04:35Once you're in, you're in, aren't you?
04:36Once you're in, you're in.
04:37Famously.
04:38What I always say.
04:39Yeah.
04:40Oh, these are all good.
04:41Someone's going to mess up, aren't they?
04:43Rhys?
04:44Well, I've gone ride and rip.
04:49And in the 70s, we used to have daredevils.
04:52You don't get them anymore, but there was one very famous daredevil, Evil Knievel.
04:55Evil Knievel.
04:56And I had the Evil Knievel toy.
04:59Can I say it's my favourite ever toy?
05:01Amazing.
05:02Well, it's that.
05:03Because you get the opportunity to sort of ride like Evil, and the rip cord is the rip of the ride.
05:11There's a picture here of it.
05:12There we go.
05:13There he is.
05:14Rip cord racer.
05:15I remembered the rip.
05:16Here we go.
05:17There he is.
05:18And there is a...
05:20There is also another rip, because Evil never made it.
05:29And he did actually die.
05:31It's a lovely double rip.
05:33Oh, that saved him.
05:35Because up to that point, he just bought in a toy.
05:37But that little joke saved him.
05:39Anya?
05:40I've brought in something that I've designed.
05:43It's based on my feeling that when I travel, I have quite a weak bladder.
05:49Yeah.
05:50So I've designed something that should smoothen that situation.
05:53Smoothen.
05:54Smoothen, mate.
06:02This is Anya demonstrating it.
06:04And she is using it in both functions during that clip.
06:11Yeah.
06:12Let's say if on Monday I wanted to go to the Chelsea Flower Show.
06:17You don't...
06:18You think they'd be fine with me riding this road?
06:20Yeah, 100%.
06:21Just dropping turds on the floor.
06:23I think so.
06:24That's good for the soil, isn't it?
06:26Yeah.
06:27They'd be welcoming you inside.
06:29They'd be going,
06:30Over here, our garden.
06:31The peace garden.
06:32The peace garden.
06:34Quick!
06:36Feed him!
06:39Can I say one more thing?
06:41It cost me four figures.
06:43You had to pay over a thousand pounds for it.
06:47Yeah.
06:48My God.
06:49It'd be so funny if I gave you just one point.
06:51Greg...
06:52Greg...
06:53Please, I'm begging you.
06:54If you do that, I will break.
06:55Okay, you've seen all five.
06:56Yeah.
06:57It's hard to separate.
06:58I think they're all pretty good.
06:59Pretty good. I mean Reese's is the worst, but then he saved it with that joke. Well, I'm not gonna give you one
07:05Because I liked it
07:07I'm gonna give him two points. But you are last Reese. Yeah, apparently
07:11Two lovely points followed by three lovely points
07:15Coconuts four points a penny farthing but third place the third place. Yeah. No. Yeah second place joint first place
07:29Five points to Sanjeev and and yeah, thank you. There we go. It's well done
07:44Okie-dokie yes, of course, but be warned I have word from security that there's trouble going down at the taskmaster museum
07:59Start for a muck check
08:07Pressure pad check statue in place
08:16Oh
08:18God race, what's this are we safe don't know. Oh
08:25There's a lot to take in here
08:29Yes
08:31Are we doing a heist? Oh God with Alex?
08:35There's Alex. Oh, this is horrible. Look. It's the house deal the statue of Archimedes
08:42Steal the statue of Archimedes
08:45You have 15 minutes of observation and preparation in the van then 15 minutes to carry out your heist
08:52Most sophisticated successful heist wins your time starts
08:58Now so we are gonna have to steal
09:02That right, where is that?
09:04Is that Alex? Oh look, he's a policeman. He's got important codes. He's got important codes. Okay, okay, okay
09:14Let's check out his roots. So his root is he comes out of the house
09:17We don't have that long guys
09:19We don't have that long guys
09:21Staff room door alarm check
09:23Staff room door alarm check
09:25There's three beeps of two after alarm check
09:27Shed check clear
09:29Right we need to get to the tool shed
09:31Statue room
09:33Pressure mat alarm check
09:35Good good to know pressure pad
09:37Yeah
09:39Don't step on that
09:41Functioning
09:42Statue in place
09:43301022
09:45301022
09:46It said 301022
09:47Excellent work
09:53Wait, he's taking his jacket off to go to the toilet
09:55If he does a routine wee, that's the time to get the jacket and the keys
09:59Should I step my watch?
10:01Ooh
10:03Oh my god
10:05He's not well
10:11So now he's in the lab
10:13So now he's in the lab
10:17Oh look, he's not weeing again
10:19Two minutes
10:21He wees every two minutes, this is such an info
10:23Yeah, there's the key, look, there's the key
10:25So they're in his top left pocket
10:27Is there a way of keeping him in the toilet?
10:29But is there something we can wedge against it?
10:31Yeah
10:32Let's kill him
10:39I was genuinely drawn into the drama of it up until that point
10:43I'm quite excited about this
10:45It's very dramatic
10:47Who are we going to see first?
10:49Well, first to plot and then partake in a heist
10:51Are your stereotypical gangsters
10:53Anya, Philip and Sanjeev
10:55The plan is go to the tool shed
10:57Or should two of us just run in
10:59And grab as much stuff as we think is useful?
11:01Mm-hmm
11:04Where is he? Where is he?
11:05He's there
11:063-0-1-2-2
11:07Go guys, go
11:08See what you can find
11:13Hey, how's it going?
11:15Yeah, huge wire cutter
11:16Getting a net
11:17Oh yeah, get a net
11:19Oh yeah, get a net
11:20Let's just trap him and kill him
11:21I keep telling you
11:23What?
11:24Where's Sanjeev?
11:27Oh shit
11:28Sanjeev, oh shit
11:31Right, go, go, go, go
11:36OK
11:40What's this?
11:41That's what it was in there
11:43That's what it was
11:44That's what it was
11:45OK, the statue has a weight sensor
11:47Maybe that could replace it
11:48Right
11:49I'm just gonna have a quick look in the shed
11:53Statue in place
11:56Is he about to go to the news soon?
11:57Let's go to the news soon
12:10OK, we've got keys
12:20Hello?
12:21Hello?
12:22I don't think it worked
12:26I don't think it worked
12:28Sanjeev, are you there?
12:29He's out of the loop
12:30Interesting
12:31He's heading to the camera feed room
12:33You need to hide from the cameras now
12:35Hide from the cameras
12:37Who's that?
12:38You're a tupic on camera
12:39He's in the camera room, did you say?
12:41I'm gonna go and investigate
12:43He's heading out the front door
12:52All the cameras have gone off
12:58All the cameras have gone off
12:59All the cameras have gone off
13:01Where have they gone?
13:13Hi
13:14Hello, sir
13:15You shouldn't be here after the museum is shut
13:16What is your name?
13:17Pip
13:18Yeah, you're sorry
13:19I have a single out
13:20Where are you from?
13:21Right
13:22Going to the car park
13:23Yeah, no, I do apologise about that
13:34I've got it, I've got it, I've got it
13:41Oh, what is that?
13:43I need someone to figure out where he is that I can get back
13:47I've got the statue
13:48Oh, yeah, I'll go and distract him
13:50Because he can actually send you back here
13:52Hello?
13:53Just sent Phil to distract him because we've got no cameras at all
13:56Sorry, me again
13:57What time do you open tomorrow?
13:58Pit
14:01Pit
14:02This should be open at half eight
14:03If you wouldn't mind leaving the premises
14:07How was the pleasure?
14:08It's been great
14:09So we are shot at the moment
14:10Thank you
14:11No, I do apologise
14:12No problem
14:13Thanks mate
14:14I've only got seven minutes left
14:15That's a shame
14:16Statue room
14:17Pressure pad check
14:18Check
14:24Statue
14:25Statue
14:26Statue
14:27Statue's gone
14:35You're right, you know, it is weird you don't get cast in more stuff
14:37Statue's gone
14:39Statue's gone
14:41You know what also, that wasn't acting
14:43I hadn't seen any of the footage because he tore the wires out of the security
14:48Which means we didn't even record the security footage after that
14:50Because we weren't expecting anyone to rip the wires out
14:53So all that footage is gone and I couldn't believe the statue'd gone
14:56Yeah, you sort of came good at the end
14:58Up until that point
14:59I don't think it's unfair to say you might be the weak link
15:04You remember the code
15:06Well done
15:07I loved finding an object to replace the weight of the statue
15:11It was all going to plan and then we had a northern man
15:15Dressed as the 70s Pimp
15:20Attempt to lock him in the toilet and fail
15:23And then you became a maintenance man called Pip
15:28You gave a fake name Pip, which is short for your name
15:30Yeah, I know
15:32I think every time we've done a team task
15:34And I say this was so much love
15:36Oh, thanks
15:38But we've been doing one the actual task
15:40And then the second task of wrangling Phil
15:44Very enjoyable
15:45We've reached the end of the first part of our first heist
15:48Another lesson for you youngsters out there
15:50If you haven't got the things you like
15:52Steal them
15:53See you in a bit
15:54See you in a bit
15:55Thank you in a bit
16:05Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster's part two
16:07And our cast are planning and participating in heists at Taskmaster Museum
16:11Fortunately for them the security guard is this goon
16:15Hello
16:17Yes, they're trying to steal the statue of Archimedes and there's just one crime duo left to go
16:23Chill out Cray twins it's time for Reece Fearsmith and Maisie doesn't give a damn
16:28Important codes we need to get that off in then
16:32He needs a way
16:34He puts it down
16:35He puts it down
16:36He puts it down
16:37Good
16:38Right, should I just go in now and he's in the loop
16:39Go now
16:40If you can hear me I think he's coming out
16:44Oh Jesus she's got it quickly get in
16:50He had this code 301 022
16:53Great, well now it makes me think that it's not a key
16:56It's not a key
16:57It's codes that are on that
16:59Checking security cameras
17:02Is he going in the lab?
17:03Yeah, he'll be in the lab
17:04Shall I go now?
17:06301 022
17:09Any trouble?
17:11Good
17:12Oh, hang on a minute
17:15There's someone out there
17:17There's an umbrella
17:19Oh God, Reece
17:20Oh
17:21Oh
17:22Excuse me, I just saw someone
17:25What?
17:26Reece, move, move, Reece
17:28Oh, shit
17:29Reece
17:30Excuse me, sir
17:31Hi
17:32We're shut, I'm afraid
17:33Oh, I'm sorry about that
17:34I went wrong
17:35I went wrong wrong
17:36Back to the car park
17:37Which way round is it, please?
17:38This way, sir
17:39Jesus Christ
17:42It's not a code
17:43It's a lock
17:44With a number four on it
17:45I'm going to have a lock now, shall I?
17:48Hang on
17:49There's someone on this camera
17:50Right, off we go again
17:52Oh no, he's seeing it, he's spotted it
17:57Hello
17:58Yeah, I just saw you on the camera
17:59You did?
18:00Excuse me, I didn't know which way round I'm meant to be going
18:04I'll send you back to the car park
18:05Sorry
18:06Right, what's your name?
18:07Uh, Lindsay
18:08Staff room alarm check
18:09Oh, come on
18:10Oh, come on
18:11He said he saw me on the camera
18:12Do you know what we do?
18:13What?
18:14We run in and we just grab that whole box and run out with it
18:16You reckon?
18:17When he's in the loo?
18:18Now
18:19Yeah
18:20Ready?
18:21Just yank it
18:22Go step on the mat
18:23Just yank it
18:24Yes
18:25We're in
18:26Well, we've stolen it
18:27We need to make it look at least a piece of paper
18:29Yeah
18:30What?
18:31What?
18:32What?
18:33We just grab that whole box and run out with it
18:34You reckon?
18:35When he's in the loo?
18:36Now
18:37Yeah
18:38Yeah
18:39Ready?
18:40Just yank it
18:41Just yank it
18:42Yes
18:43We're in
18:44Well, we've stolen it
18:46We need to make it look at least a piece of paper
18:47Yes
18:48We're in
18:49Well, we've stolen it
18:50We've stolen it
18:51We need to make it look at least a piece of sophisticated
18:53Shall we leave him a little note?
18:54Yeah
18:55Thank you for the free gift
19:00We're going, we're going, we're going
19:10Well, person's first
19:12Successful
19:13Yep
19:14Sophisticated
19:15Yeah
19:16Tell me about the see-through umbrella disguise
19:18I tell you what happened
19:20We didn't
19:21Our walkie-talkies didn't work
19:22Walkie-talkies
19:23They didn't work
19:24Which is why
19:25I had to resort to other modes of communication
19:28What a warning
19:29Well, it needed to attract Reece's attention
19:32But
19:33But
19:34But blend in with the atmosphere
19:35I know
19:36In a sophisticated way
19:38Shall we have a look at it?
19:39Shall we have a look at it?
19:40Oh, God
19:41Reece
19:42Ah!
19:43Ah!
19:44Ah!
19:45Sophistication
19:46Just like watching Ocean's Eleven
19:49Incredible
19:50Both successful
19:52Yes
19:53I think the team of three were more sophisticated
19:55Five points to the team of three
19:57There we go
19:58It feels like three is fair
20:02I've written off what you have in your mind as fair
20:05You did say that
20:07Three points
20:08Three points to the team of two
20:10There we go
20:11It feels fair
20:13Both very entertaining
20:14The scoreboard, please
20:15Yes, well
20:16Sanjeev, we know, has not won an episode yet
20:18But he's joint in the lead with Anya on ten points
20:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
20:23He could be the one
20:24He could be the one
20:25I want you to get another task, please
20:27Oh, yes, please
20:28And it's that time in the series when we get grim
20:32MUSIC PLAYS
20:49Good evening, Alex
20:50I know they'll never have let me out of here while I'm alive
20:53Quick pro quo
20:55I tell your things yourself
20:56You tell me things
20:57Hi
20:58Chris Heubank
20:59Sorry?
21:00Chris Heubank
21:01Chris Heubank?
21:02Yeah, who was it supposed to be?
21:03It was Hannibal Lecter
21:04Oh, was it? Oh, lovely
21:05Lovely
21:06Chris Heubank
21:08You look ready?
21:09Glad it looks that way
21:10This is wet
21:11Yeah, that's my fault
21:15Dribble a Technicolor picture of your hero
21:18Your Technicolor picture must only be made from things that have travelled
21:23Directly from your mouth
21:24To the tray through the air
21:26And cannot be tampered with post-dribble
21:28Best Technicolor dribble picture wins
21:31You have 15 minutes?
21:33Your time starts now
21:37Are there colours available somewhere?
21:38You may leave the room
21:39OK
21:42May not be coming back
21:43Right
21:44Just so you know
21:45You look forward to it, Chris Heubank?
21:50You looking forward to it, Chris Heubank?
21:52LAUGHTER
21:56Can you do a Chris Heubank, just go back to the audience?
21:58Yes, of course I can
21:59LAUGHTER
22:00APPLAUSE
22:04Let's back on
22:05OK
22:06First to demonstrate their committal to spittle
22:08Are Anya, Sanjeev and Rhys Shearspit
22:13So we've got some items here
22:14It's not many different colours
22:15It's hard to find colours
22:16Anyway
22:18Shall I tell you afterwards who it is?
22:19Up to you
22:21I have some supplies
22:23Yes, it must be Technicolor, so this is good
22:24An artist prepares
22:29Sorry, I forgot what the rules were
22:32Excellent
22:37I'm going to draw
22:38Dribble
22:39Dribble
22:41William Shakespeare
22:44Getting that in there then
22:45What's the liquid?
22:46It's coffee
22:47OK
22:48LAUGHTER
23:09I had a question
23:11Erm, I need to go to the loo
23:12Does that come out of my time?
23:14Or do you pause it?
23:15It comes out of your time, Sanjeev
23:18It's not right
23:19It's not right
23:28Welcome back
23:29Thank you very much
23:30Seven minutes now
23:43Very accurate
23:44Thank you
23:45Thank you
23:46You've got to be bold
24:07Oh
24:14It's him and his old age.
24:17Right, his last play.
24:29You know when you can sometimes...
24:32You don't know when to stop.
24:34I think I'm going to stop. Yeah. That's it.
24:36That's it. Done.
24:38APPLAUSE
24:41What I initially wrote down was that Anya was quite, sort of,
24:45traditionally ladylike in the way that she dribbled the picture
24:48until suddenly you turned into the exorcist.
24:53You achieved a 30-second dribble.
24:55A constant, constant half-minute stream.
24:58I'm not sure that's something to be proud of.
25:00I thought Sanji was nicely controlled.
25:02He was in the toilet for most of the attempt.
25:05I mean, honestly, though, Rhys, you...
25:07For most of it, you looked like someone in Watford High Street
25:10on a Saturday night.
25:12LAUGHTER
25:13Honking up.
25:14I expected you to go,
25:15Get my brother!
25:16Get my brother!
25:18I think it's because of what the colour was.
25:21Yeah, the colour...
25:22The choice of colour did not help the overall image.
25:25OK, let's start with Shakespeare.
25:27Let's.
25:28Everyone's hero, really.
25:29This is Anya's take on William Shakespeare.
25:32LAUGHTER
25:34So, let's focus on the rough.
25:39Yeah, the rough is excellent.
25:40The rough is there.
25:41I did actually make a note.
25:42I was surprised by how much the squirty cream looked like a rough
25:45when it was going on.
25:46It's good, isn't it?
25:47And then...
25:48So, that's his pen...
25:49His quill, the red at the bottom.
25:51I mean, honest to God, it's rubbish.
25:54And then the orange is, like, back...
25:56Cos it was in medieval times that that's, like, what air looked like that.
25:59LAUGHTER
26:01Pollution, cos they didn't have air conditioning.
26:03Cos of the smog.
26:04Cos of the smog.
26:05Cos of the smog, yeah.
26:06Oh, yeah.
26:07Oh, no, it is good.
26:08LAUGHTER
26:09So, this...
26:10Because this is bugging me slightly.
26:12Yeah.
26:13Right, they...
26:14He was in the late 1600s.
26:15Yeah.
26:16It was pre-smog.
26:17They didn't have factories.
26:19LAUGHTER
26:22Ooh!
26:23Someone doesn't know about the Industrial Revolution.
26:25LAUGHTER
26:26Yeah, who's next?
26:27Well, see if you can work out who Sanjeev's hero is.
26:31LAUGHTER
26:32Who?
26:33You're back in the game.
26:34Yeah.
26:35LAUGHTER
26:36Well, I mean, obviously, I'm not going to be able to guess it.
26:38You'll kick yourself, it's Gene Wilder.
26:40LAUGHTER
26:46It's the smile.
26:47The smile gives it away.
26:48You can see it now.
26:49The smile knows.
26:50Oh, God.
26:51Once you start looking at it, you see Gene Wilder.
26:52There's Wonka.
26:53Yeah.
26:54LAUGHTER
26:55And he's got that trademark factory smog around the edge.
26:57LAUGHTER
26:58Who's next?
26:59Well, we have a recognised artist here.
27:01Rhys Shearsmith has done this person.
27:03Can you work out who this is?
27:04Here we go.
27:05Wow.
27:06Cool.
27:07Oh.
27:08That's great.
27:09Who's the old actor Rhys keeps mentioning?
27:11Matt Boris Karloff.
27:13You're in the ballpark.
27:14You're in the right world.
27:15Is it Dracula?
27:16It's Dracula.
27:17It's Dracula!
27:18Whoa!
27:19It's Dracula.
27:21You were right, you only did need those two colours.
27:23That's in the corner.
27:24Yeah.
27:25The Widow's Peak, the moon as well is up there.
27:27The dark, foreboding atmosphere.
27:29Oh, the eyes.
27:30The eyes.
27:31The eyes.
27:32The red burning eyes.
27:33That's so haunting.
27:34OK, it's time to pause and reflect on the horrors we've just seen.
27:37Make Grandad a cup of tea and wake him up.
27:39We've got dribbling covered.
27:40Hello.
27:41Welcome to the start of part three.
27:55I'm afraid there's a drool-based art task which still needs completing.
27:59Yes, it's a horrible thing and I really, really enjoy it.
28:02We have double dribble to end with.
28:04It's Maisie and Phil.
28:06Wonderful.
28:07Right, well, you'll be surprised to know I'm not going to leave this room.
28:10I'm going to do it all from everything we've got right here.
28:13Well, you're joking.
28:14That would be genuinely insane.
28:22Right.
28:32How do we feel about crayons?
28:34Uh-oh, we're up.
28:35There he is!
28:39Oh, blue eyes himself!
28:41Dry thing, you think, Duke.
28:46Can't be tampered with once it's fallen.
28:50Oh
29:02Can't be tampered with once it's fallen
29:13Oh
29:15You take
29:20I'm in the gut
29:22Recognizable
29:24That's good
29:26Spitting image
29:28Yeah, I'll write that down
29:32Now that is pretty good
29:38You're welcome
29:40Thank you
29:42Thanks for your time
29:44I've got a sec
29:46Thank you
29:52I'm gonna stay in the lab and just chew up the task
29:54I'm only joking that would be genuinely insane
29:56Were you all told you could leave the room?
29:58No
30:00I did leave off my own accord
30:02If I'm honest
30:04Sounds like you've had to go to the loo
30:06And that time wasn't taken off
30:08I'm still kind of shocked at that
30:10It means if I'd had a heart attack
30:12At some point when the paramedics were working on me
30:14You would have said time's up
30:16LAUGHTER
30:18APPLAUSE
30:20APPLAUSE
30:22So yes
30:24I guess
30:25Presumed people would think
30:26Well, I have to leave the room
30:27Because there was nothing in the room
30:28Well, because I looked around at what I had available
30:30And thought, well, it must be the envelope
30:32Did you eat the word Technicolor first, do you think?
30:35I shouldn't
30:36LAUGHTER
30:37APPLAUSE
30:39APPLAUSE
30:41Have a look at what this lady's done with her mouth
30:43This is...
30:45This is her Technicolor picture of her hero
30:48Look at the tie
30:50Yeah, there's a tie
30:51Flash microphones
30:52It's not as bad as I was expecting, to be fair
30:54It's very much a face
30:55And I've met Rod Stewart
30:57And he looks almost exactly the same as that
30:59It's Rod Stewart
31:00It's Wood Stewart
31:01APPLAUSE
31:03So, I haven't seen the picture yet
31:07From the angle we've seen it at
31:09It looks like madness
31:11It's quite accurate
31:13OK
31:14There it is
31:15LAUGHTER
31:16I remember it as a lot better than that
31:18It's like scanners when their head blows up
31:21LAUGHTER
31:22Is it Elvis?
31:23No
31:24That's his gorgeous red hair
31:26Hucknall
31:27You know
31:28Hucknall it is
31:29Hucknall
31:30APPLAUSE
31:32Let's put all five up then
31:36What a line-up that would be for Taskmaster Series 21 though
31:40LAUGHTER
31:42Some of them have only got two colours
31:43But I won't penalise that
31:44Because the...
31:45The main thing is the likeness
31:47And on this occasion I'm going to give Anya one point
31:50I'm so sorry
31:53I like the character but he doesn't look like Gene Wilder
31:57I'm going to give two points to Sanjeev
31:59OK
32:00Against all odds I'm giving Rod Stewart three points
32:02Even more against the odds I'm giving Mick Hucknall
32:05Because there's an element of animation to it
32:07Four points
32:08Five points
32:09And clearly
32:10Wow
32:11Even though there are only two colours
32:12Dracula is the superior painting
32:13Five points
32:14Five points to Ruth Stewart
32:15APPLAUSE
32:16Yeah it's cruel all right
32:18She'll have another task
32:19We shall
32:20And just like Greg in his teaching days
32:22This one involves me getting hammered at work
32:24LAUGHTER
32:41Ooh, nice head tattoo
32:43Thank you Anya, in you go
32:45Do I look about for the task, Mary?
32:47Yeah, if you want, sure
32:49Nice
32:50Is it in a thing?
32:53No
32:54What is the task and where is it?
32:59Someone's rustling
33:00Oh
33:01Thank you
33:04Oh
33:05Look at it
33:06Oh, it's there
33:07God
33:08Oh, hello
33:09Oh
33:10Do you like pantomimes?
33:11Why?
33:12So, er
33:13Oh yes I do
33:14Oh yes I do
33:15Oh no you don't
33:16Oh yes I do
33:17Do you?
33:18Yes
33:19It's like a really low budget kids show
33:22Not low budget
33:23No, it's like a really high budget kids show
33:25Sometimes it's behind you
33:26It's behind you!
33:27That's the...
33:28Get exactly 63 points by bopping Alex on the head
33:39You must shout a different type of food on each bop to register the bop
33:44If you bop anyone other than Alex five bops will be deducted from your total score
33:49You must stay in the hutch
33:51You must stay in the hutch
33:52And the fastest wins
33:53Your time starts on the whistle
33:55Is one bop one point?
33:5863 points are on my head
34:00There'll be other heads
34:01So if you get me one, that'll do it
34:03Oh!
34:04Seems easier
34:05APPLAUSE
34:06Well, looks like we're off, this is pretty straightforward
34:12Bop this, er, this clown on the head
34:14Yep, bit of fun
34:15Bit of fun
34:16Let's go
34:17Let's go
34:18Let's see a marauding Maisie
34:19A savage Sanjeev
34:20And a rampaging Rees bop
34:22Till they drop
34:23OK, so I've got to try and bop your head and say foodstuffs
34:26Oh, no, what are these?
34:29Oh, I see
34:32Red
34:33Five points, that one
34:34OK
34:35Apples
34:36One
34:37Oh, right, OK
34:39That's Greg
34:42Mmm, so you've got minus ten
34:44What?
34:45Oh, rice
34:46Oh, ten points
34:47Bread
34:48Still minus ten
34:50I got him
34:51Minus ten
34:53I got him
34:54I can't register the bop
34:55Minus ten
34:56Now, listen, I can't register any of these bops
34:59Why?
35:00All the information's on the task
35:04Fuck
35:05Chocolate sauce
35:07Right
35:08Pears
35:09Pasta
35:10Apples
35:11Couscous
35:13Lovely
35:15An orange
35:16Peanuts
35:18Need a food
35:19A
35:20A
35:21A
35:22A
35:23A
35:24Land stew
35:25Fishes
35:26Fishes
35:27Fishes
35:28This is going to take great forever
35:30Yeah, you're on 21 points
35:32Oh
35:33You're using the guitar now
35:38Lettuce
35:40Oh
35:41There's something by your waist
35:42What?
35:43Food
35:46That was a very creepy one
35:48Oh
35:49Can I bob that?
35:50That was a bob
35:51Yeah, we didn't say a food
35:52Oh
35:53Oh
35:54Oh
35:55This is just annoying now
35:59Broccoli
36:00Carrot
36:01Brottenut squash
36:02Big Mac
36:04Chicken supreme wrap
36:05Well what's happened to his head?
36:07Oh
36:08Erm
36:09Lollipop
36:12Pistachios
36:13Yes, you got me
36:17Yes, you got me
36:18So now you're on plus 72
36:20Yeah, you've gone over now
36:21Ah
36:22I see
36:25Beef
36:2649
36:27Pork
36:2859
36:29Bacon
36:30Now you need a few greggs
36:32Er
36:33Mashed potato
36:34Er
36:35Siki toffee pudding
36:36Guts
36:37Cheese tart
36:3852
36:39Beetroot
36:407
36:41Portbelly
36:42Right
36:43Carrot cake
36:44Turnovers
36:45Right
36:46Right
36:47We're now on 59
36:48Bananas
36:49Okay, you're on 62 now
36:50So you just need one of me
36:51That's worth one
36:54Bindi
36:55Onion bhajes
36:56Tikka Masala
36:57Gel crazy
36:58I've stopped the clock
37:00Er
37:01Cheese
37:02I've stopped the clock
37:05Oh machine
37:06Got it
37:07I've stopped the clock
37:08Thank you
37:09Oh
37:10God
37:11Thank you
37:16Maisie, have you ever worked at a supermarket?
37:18I wrote down that run
37:20Broccoli
37:21Carrot
37:22Butternut squash
37:23Big Mac
37:24Chicken supreme wrap
37:25Chicken supreme wrap
37:27It's really hard
37:28This task was so infuriating
37:30Reece was far more specialist
37:32You were like a deli
37:33There were only three things
37:35And they were shouted with such passion
37:38FISHES
37:39FISHES
37:41FISHES
37:42PISTACHIO
37:43Aubergine
37:44Yes, but the others were just as classy
37:45Sugar snap peas
37:46And something
37:47Fascinating little runs from you
37:49Lovely little concentrated runs
37:51Not much action
37:52Then all of a sudden
37:53Beef, pork, chicken
37:54And then there was that lovely curry run at the end
37:58Absolute poetry
38:00I mean runs and curry do go together
38:03APPLAUSE
38:04That's good
38:05That's good
38:06That's good
38:07All right then
38:08We're nearly there
38:09In the final part of the show
38:10Someone will triumph
38:11And then travel home on a toilet
38:13Courtesy of Anja Magliano
38:14APPLAUSE
38:15Yes, hello and a special shout out to any funeral directors watching today
38:30Thank you
38:31Before the break they were trying to get exactly 63 points by bopping Alex on the head
38:36Let's see Anja and Phil
38:38And Mallets and me
38:39I don't know what
38:40I don't
38:41I don't
38:42I don't want to just bop you on the head
38:43What
38:44I don't think that is you
38:45Bop
38:46Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, kumquat
38:47No
38:48It's too soft
38:49Fish finger
38:51Apple crumble
38:53Pear crumble
38:54Lovely
38:55Chicken
38:56No, you missed that
38:57Chicken
38:58Frangipan tart
39:00I mean if you get my head that will give you a little point
39:03But that's not your head, you're tricking me, that's Greg's head
39:06That's correct
39:07Chicks
39:08Oh, macaroon
39:10Why am I struggling?
39:12Wait a minute, there's another way
39:14Dunno
39:15Oh, look
39:17Yes
39:18Yes
39:19Right
39:20Ooh
39:23Providorol
39:25Lovely
39:26Tiramisu
39:2742
39:28Never have it
39:29Moz pan
39:31Moussaka
39:32Christmas pudding
39:34Well, you've knocked the head off that
39:35I got it
39:36You're on 62, you need one more point
39:38One more
39:39Then you're now on 58 points
39:40OK
39:41Poke bowl
39:4363
39:4463
39:46Panic
39:47And that's your time over
39:49Yes
39:50Oh, there's a finger in this
39:53Oh
39:54Oh
39:55Oh
39:56Oh
39:57Oh
39:58Oh
39:59Oh
40:00Oh
40:01Oh
40:02Oh
40:03What's it?
40:04Either of those shopping baskets that's more middle class than the other?
40:06Yeah
40:07Frangipan tart
40:08Is that your go-to?
40:10I don't know what that is.
40:12Egg. Potatoes.
40:14Loved it. Although, oh, man, the thing that got me is your first guess.
40:19There's a, I'm sure now, a fairly offensive character called Porky Pig.
40:23Do you remember Porky Pig? Oh, yeah.
40:25He had a bit of a speech impediment, and you did that at the beginning.
40:28You went...
40:34I've never had to say under pressure before.
40:35Well, shall I do the timings?
40:37I don't, yeah. Do the timings.
40:39Er, the quickest in 2 minutes 29 was Anya.
40:42Well done, that's quite powerful, Anya.
40:44Lovely, yes.
40:46Then we go Phil, 4 minutes 44, Sanji, 5.51, Maisie, 6.39,
40:50and far slower than everyone else, Rhys, 1 point, 8 minutes 45.
40:58Let's have a look at some scores.
40:59Yes, well, in the series, it's still tight,
41:0111 points separating all five of them.
41:03Ooh. I know.
41:04Like anyone could win the series.
41:06Anyone could win the series.
41:07Ah.
41:08In this particular episode, tight, Sanjeev, you're on 15,
41:10but Anya and Phil are in the lead with 16.
41:13Ooh!
41:14APPLAUSE
41:15OK, everyone, will you please head to the stage for the final task of the show!
41:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:22Who will be reading the task?
41:34That one.
41:35Maisie Adam.
41:36Avoid the taskmaster's big ball.
41:39You must stand on the circle, but you must not step on any gold.
41:46You must be facing and staring at the taskmaster sign at all times,
41:51and after the taskmaster releases his big ball, you may each take one step.
41:57The first person touched by the taskmaster's big ball each round is eliminated.
42:03Last player standing wins.
42:05So, after he releases his ball, we're allowed one step.
42:08Yeah, one step each round.
42:11Can we get undressed?
42:12Is that you?
42:13LAUGHTER
42:14A little bit.
42:15Why do you want to get undressed?
42:16So that there's less, like, stuff to be touched?
42:19Oh, you think this is a game of millimetres, do you?
42:23LAUGHTER
42:24Sure.
42:25Alex!
42:26Please take the contestants to the ball zone!
42:30This way, please.
42:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:39You can take any spot, but you must be facing that way.
42:42Where is he swinging it from?
42:44Swinging it from here.
42:45Well, yeah.
42:46You've got to be over here, then, don't you?
42:47Well, you must be facing that taskmaster sign.
42:49OK.
42:50Clothes off.
42:51LAUGHTER
42:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:59Yeah, can we face it like this?
43:01Yeah.
43:02Side on, that's side on.
43:03You can't...
43:04You can't take your eyes off the taskmaster sign.
43:06Well, that's fine, then.
43:08LAUGHTER
43:10LAUGHTER
43:11Here we go.
43:12Good luck.
43:14Here we go.
43:15Good luck.
43:16Yeah!
43:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:28LAUGHTER
43:29LAUGHTER
43:30This ain't cruel!
43:31Anya, standing.
43:32LAUGHTER
43:33LAUGHTER
43:35LAUGHTER
43:36MUSIC
43:40LAUGHTER
43:41LAUGHTER
43:42APPLAUSE
43:44LAUGHTER
43:54APPLAUSE
43:56Phil, if you don't sit on the elimination, you've done it.
43:59Phil, everyone.
44:00That is heroic.
44:02So, Phil is eliminated.
44:04OK. Right.
44:06Remember, you're looking at the Taskmaster sign, please.
44:09Yeah, you can dodge and weave, but you must be standing up.
44:12Good luck, everyone. Round two.
44:13Ready?
44:14Yeah.
44:15Yeah!
44:18Oh, that's a step from Anya.
44:20Ooh!
44:21Ooh!
44:22Lovely...
44:23Ooh!
44:24Oh, lovely.
44:25Ooh!
44:26Oh!
44:27LAUGHTER
44:28Reece is eliminated.
44:34Hand me back the golden ball.
44:36OK.
44:38And back to release the ball.
44:42Oh, my word.
44:44Oh, my ungodly strength!
44:47Ah!
44:51One step.
44:52OK, that's a step from everyone except for Anya.
44:54Lovely.
44:55Lovely.
44:57APPLAUSE
44:59Sanjee's is out.
45:00And please, bring me back my ball.
45:04LAUGHTER
45:06Terrible, isn't it?
45:07This is it.
45:12Ready.
45:13The strength is unholy!
45:15Oh, what an angle.
45:16One step.
45:17Ooh, lovely.
45:18Maisie still has hers.
45:19Oh!
45:20It's another step!
45:21Yeah!
45:22We've lost Anya!
45:23We've lost Anya!
45:24We've lost Anya!
45:25We've lost Anya!
45:26We've lost Anya!
45:27We've lost Anya!
45:28We've lost Anya!
45:29Maisie is a winner!
45:34Let's all go down and we'll work out the final score!
45:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:43Oh, that was electric!
45:44Oh!
45:45Obviously, we saw the finalists were Anya and Maisie, but the five points went to Maisie in the end!
45:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:53For standing still.
45:55Well, it means that, with 20 points today, our winner is, at that end of the seats, it's Anya Magliano!
46:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:03And your wins!
46:05Please go up to relishing your things to ride or rip!
46:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:14So, what have we learned today?
46:16Well, this is a stressful world, guys.
46:19It's full of technology, industry and noise.
46:22It's important to get away from it all, head to the glorious English countryside, be at one with nature
46:28and just let the wildlife speak to you.
46:33Oh!
46:34Oh!
46:35LAUGHTER
46:40APPLAUSE
46:41For now, let's applaud our winner on the loo.
46:43It's Anya Magliano!
46:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:47Richard Iowati's ready to rip apart the week's headlines with The Last Leg Lads, live tomorrow at 10.
46:55Sunday at 10, the network premiere splitting 1960s London into a time-warp tragic murder scene.
47:01Gripping horror with Tom Z McKenzie and Anya Taylor-Joy accompanies their last night in Soho.
47:06Next tonight, Basque Bakes need a little burn, but scorched sugar or sour bake-off's dessert week.
47:14APPLAUSE
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