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Gutfeld! END SHOW 12/31/25 | FOX BREAKING NEWS TONIGHT DECEMBER 31, 2025
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00:00I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF, TOO.
00:07GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE.
00:09SERIAL FARTER ERIC SWALWELL HAS
00:13MISSED MORE HOUSE VOTES THAN A
00:16CONGRESSMAN WHO DIED NINE MONTHS
00:18AGO.
00:19EVEN MORE TROUBLING, THE DEAD
00:22CONGRESSMAN SMELLS BETTER.
00:25WOW.
00:27I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
00:32ONE WOMAN SIGNED UP TO VOLUNTEER.
00:36ONE WOMAN SIGNED UP TO VOLUNTEER.
00:41MEANWHILE, IN OUTER SPACE,
00:44NASA TELESCOPES HAVE SPOTTED A
00:47BIZARRE NEW LEMON SHAPED PLANET.
00:50SCIENTISTS SAY THERE'S NO SIGNS
00:52OF INTELLIGENT LIFE.
00:55I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
00:58I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
01:00BUT IT IS OPEN TO GETTING PROBED.
01:03ACCORDING TO A NEW SURVEY, THE
01:05AVERAGE CHILD'S ALLOWANCE IS $52
01:07PER MONTH.
01:08THAT'S NOT EVEN $2 A DAY.
01:11HELL, THE KID WHO WALKS ON MY
01:14BACK MAKES TWICE THAT.
01:16I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
01:18I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
01:19I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
01:21DID YOU KNOW THAT KEVIN MCALISTER'S
01:23GROCERIES AND HOME ALONE HAVE
01:25GONE FROM $20 IN 1990 TO $53
01:27TODAY?
01:29MEANWHILE, YOU CAN STILL GET
01:31THAT.
01:32I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
01:34I WOULD CLAP FOR MYSELF.
01:37PRIVACY EXPERTS WARN THAT APP
01:39CONNECTED VIBRATORS MAY BE
01:41COLLECTING YOUR PERSONAL DATA.
01:43I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS WHY THAT
01:45BUTT PLUG TRIED TO SELL ME
01:46BONER PILLS.
01:47IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ALGORITHM.
01:49IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ALGORITHM.
01:51PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP HAS NOW
01:53ADDED PLAQUES UNDER EX-PRESIDENT'S
01:54PICTURES IN THE WHITE HOUSE.
01:56PRESIDENTIAL WALK OF FAME.
01:57UNDER JOE BIDEN HE PUT WORSE
02:00PRESIDENT IN HISTORY WHICH IS
02:01ROUGH BUT WORSE UNDER BILL
02:03CLINTON HE WROTE WHO WANTS TO
02:05SMELL MY FINGER.
02:09BOY, YOU GUYS RUN HOT AND COLD
02:12TONIGHT.
02:13ALL RIGHT.
02:15THE DEMOCRATS ARE IN THE
02:17DEMOCRATS.
02:18SHE'S TESTING IN GEORGIA AFTER
02:20BEING ACCUSED OF MISUSING FUNDS
02:22AND TAKING HER BOYFRIEND NATHAN
02:24WADE ON EXOTIC TRIPS.
02:26APPARENTLY THIS PERVY
02:28PROSECUTOR'S IDEA OF AN ORAL
02:29ARGUMENT BEGAN WITH AM I USING
02:31TOO MUCH TEETH?
02:35SO INSTEAD OF ANSWERING
02:36QUESTIONS LIKE A SEASONED LAWYER,
02:38SHE ANSWERED THEM LIKE A REAL
02:40HOUSEWIFE OF ATLANTA TRYING TO
02:41CONVINCE A COP THAT IT'S
02:42PERFECTLY LEGAL TO PARK A CAR IN
02:43A TREE.
02:44SHE'S NOT IN THE
02:47WEEKEND'S CONCLUSION.
02:48SHE'S NOT IN THE WEEKEND.
02:49SHE'S NOT IN THE WEEKEND.
02:51BUT CAN YOU BLAME HER?
02:52YOU ALL WANT TO INTIMIDATE
02:53PEOPLE FROM DOING THE RIGHT
02:54THING.
02:55YOU ALL WANT TO INTIMIDATE
02:56PEOPLE FROM DOING THE RIGHT
02:57THING.
02:58AND YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE
02:59GOING TO INTIMIDATE ME.
03:00YOU ALL HAVE BEEN TRYING TO
03:01INTIMIDATE ME FOR FIVE YEARS,
03:03WHICH IS WHY I HAVE NOT BEEN
03:04ABLE TO LIVE IN MY HOUSE FOR
03:05FIVE YEARS.
03:06I THOUGHT SHE KEPT QUIET WAS
03:08BANGING A PROSECUTOR.
03:09SOMEONE WROTE THE N-WORD ON HER
03:11HOUSE AND WE'RE JUST HEARING
03:12ABOUT IT NOW.
03:13I THOUGHT THE ONLY THING SHE
03:15KEPT QUIET WAS BANGING A
03:16PROSECUTOR.
03:17AND HOW IS ASKING QUESTIONS
03:19INTIMIDATING?
03:20AREN'T YOU IN FACT A PROSECUTOR?
03:22ISN'T THAT YOUR JOB?
03:23THAT'S LIKE A PLUMBER LOOKING
03:25AT YOUR CLOGGED TOILET AND
03:26SAYING, YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD
03:28REALLY CALL SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS.
03:31BUT WHEN THEY HAD A QUESTION
03:33ABOUT HER LOVER, SHE DODGED IT
03:35INVESTIGATION.
03:36I THOUGHT YOU WANT TO
03:39ANSWER.
03:40IS IT YOUR TESTIMONY TODAY THAT
03:42YOU DID NOT HAVE ANY CONVERSATION
03:44WITH MR. WADE ABOUT
03:46INVESTIGATING THE 2020 ELECTION?
03:48DO YOU WANT TO ANSWER?
03:49IT'S A DUMB-ASS QUESTION.
03:51OH, A DUMB-ASS QUESTION.
03:53QUESTIONS ARE FINE.
03:54IT'S THE ANSWERS THAT ARE
03:56DUMB-ASS, LADY.
03:57BUT SHE'S ANGRY BECAUSE FOR ONCE
03:59IN HER LIFE SHE'S ASKED TO SHOW
04:01HER WORK.
04:02SO SHE GAVE MORE ATTITUDE THAN A
04:04DOCUMENTS.
04:05I DON'T REFER YOU TO THE
04:07SCREEN.
04:08I DON'T REVIEW THOSE
04:09DOCUMENTS.
04:10SO YOU'RE ASKING ME TO LOOK AT
04:11DOCUMENTS THAT I HAVEN'T FOR
04:12THE FIRST TIME.
04:13WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT I
04:14DON'T BE ALLOWED MR. WADE TO
04:15BILL 160 HOURS A WEEK.
04:16AND THEN MR. WADE WOULD BE THE
04:17FIRST ONE IN THE OFFICE MAKING
04:19SURE THAT MY STAFF ARRIVED.
04:21YOU BUILD WADE 160 HOURS A WEEK.
04:25THERE ARE 168 HOURS IN A WEEK.
04:28SHE MIGHT BE WORSE AT MATH AND
04:30CAT TIMPF.
04:31I KNOW THAT WAS UNNECESSARY.
04:32IT TURNS OUT THOUGH SHE MEANT
04:34HOURS PER MONTH.
04:35KIND OF A MOVE POINT ANYWAY SINCE
04:37WADE WAS NOT BEING PAID FOR
04:38WORK BUT ONLY BEING SUMMONED FOR
04:41JURY BOOTY.
04:42WHY SO EMOTIONAL?
04:43WE JUST WANT TO KNOW, DID YOU
04:45MISUSE FUNDS?
04:46DID YOU HIRE WADE BECAUSE HE WAS A
04:49GREAT PROSECUTOR AND YOU LIKED
04:51HIS BRIEFS OR YOU LIKED THEM ONLY
04:53WHEN THEY WERE HANGING FROM THE
04:55BED POST.
04:56YOU KNOW, THERE IS AN OLD LAWYER
04:58SAYING IF YOU CAN'T POUND THE
05:01FACTS, YOU POUND THE LAW.
05:03IF YOU CAN'T POUND THE LAW, YOU
05:05POUND THE TABLE.
05:06IF YOU CAN'T POUND THE TABLE,
05:08POUND THE TABLE.
05:09IF YOU CAN'T POUND THE TABLE,
05:11POUND THE LAWYER ON THE TABLE.
05:14ACTUALLY, THAT'S A NEW SAYING.
05:17BUT I WONDER, WAS HE A LEADER TO
05:20THAT TEAM?
05:21HE WAS A LEADER TO THAT TEAM AND
05:24A PUBLIC SERVANT.
05:25AND FOR THAT, HIM LIKE ME HAS
05:28BEEN THREATENED THOUSANDS OF
05:29TIMES.
05:30YOU WANT SOMETHING TO
05:31INVESTIGATE AS A LEGISLATURE?
05:32INVESTIGATE HOW MANY TIMES THEY
05:34CALLED ME THE N-WORD.
05:35WHY DON'T YOU INVESTIGATE THAT?
05:36WHY DON'T YOU INVESTIGATE THEM
05:38WRITING ON MY HOUSE?
05:39WHY DON'T YOU INVESTIGATE THE
05:41FACT THAT MY HOUSE HAS BEEN
05:42SWATTED?
05:43IF YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DO WITH
05:44YOUR TIME THAT MAKES SENSE.
05:45AND YOU CAN USE ALL THIS IN
05:46YOUR CAMPAIGN AD.
05:47YOU ATTACKED FONNIE WILLIS.
05:49WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, SIR?
05:50NOTHING.
05:51WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
05:52WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
05:53WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
05:54WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
05:55LOOK OVER AT US.
05:56OH.
05:57NOW, I GOT TO SAY, THAT'S A
05:58HELL OF A DEFENSE.
05:59WHO CARES IF I BROKE THE LAW WHEN
06:01PEOPLE CALL ME BAD NAMES?
06:02WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT FROM?
06:04INSTAGRAM REELS OF SASSY LARD
06:06ASSES SHOPLIFTING AT WALMART?
06:08INSTITUTION.
06:09INSTITUTION.
06:10HER TESTIMONY EXPOSES AN
06:11ENTITLEMENT CREATED BY A DIFFERENT
06:12SET OF RULES GOVERNED BY FEAR.
06:14AND IT'S A FEAR OF BEING CALLED
06:16RACIST IF YOU REQUEST OVERSIGHT
06:18AND RECEIPTS.
06:19NONE OF US COULD TALK LIKE THAT
06:21IN A CONGRESSIONAL HEARING.
06:22BUT FOR OTHERS, RULES JUST DON'T
06:24APPLY.
06:25AND NEITHER DOES ANSWERING BASIC
06:26QUESTIONS.
06:27REMEMBER THE STACEY ABRAMS NGO
06:29THAT GOT 2 BILLION IN TAXPAYER
06:31MONEY FROM BIDEN DESPITE MAKING
06:33$100 IN REVENUE THE YEAR
06:35BEFORE.
06:36SHE TIE THE KNOT WITH HER
06:38BROTHER BECAUSE SHE COULD.
06:40WHO WOULD DARE QUESTION THAT?
06:42LA MAYOR KAREN BASS LET CALIFORNIA
06:44BURN AND BLAMED OTHERS FOR THE
06:45BOTCHED RESPONSE.
06:46IN HER MIND, THE BUCK NEVER
06:48STOPPED WITH HER BECAUSE BLAMING
06:49HER WOULD BE BIGOTED.
06:50AND NOW YOU GET A PROSECUTOR
06:52WHO IS NOT USED TO FACING THE
06:53MUSIC AND MELTS DOWN SO BADLY
06:55THAT THEY HAVE TO CUT HER MIC.
06:57HELL, EVEN HER OWN LAWYER WAS
06:59PISSED OFF.
07:00YOU KNOW, OLD MAN HAS TO GO TO
07:02THE BASSROOM.
07:03GOVERNOR, WOULD YOU LIKE A
07:05RECESS?
07:06WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE
07:08RECESS.
07:09WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE
07:11RECESS.
07:12POOR GUY, HE'S FULL OF PEE.
07:15AND SHE'S FULL OF CRAP.
07:18AND THE REST OF US ARE READY TO
07:20FLUSH THE WHOLE THING DOWN THE
07:22SEWER.
07:23WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE.
07:24WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE.
07:25WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE.
07:26WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE.
07:27WE'LL TAKE A FIVE MINUTE.
07:28LET'S WELCOME TONIGHT'S GUEST.
07:29HE SAVES $1,800 A YEAR BY
07:31CUTTING HIS OWN HAIR.
07:32HOST OF YOUR WELCOME
07:33PODCAST, MICHAEL MALES.
07:36SHE'S PERKY, QUIRKY, AND WEIGHS
07:38LESS THAN BEEF JERKY, THE
07:40FEDERAL SELECTIONS CORRESPONDED
07:41FONNIE WILLIS.
07:42SHE'S FUNNY WILLIS.
07:43SHE'S FUNNY WILLIS.
07:45SHE'S FUNNY WILLIS.
07:47WHEN OTHER KIDS WROTE TO SANTA,
07:50SHE WROTE TO THE UNI-BOMBER.
07:52NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING
07:54AUTHOR AND FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR
07:56KAT TIMPF.
07:58AND HE PULLS SANTA'S SLEIGH
08:01WHEN RUDOLPH CALLS IN SICK.
08:04FORMER NWA WORLD CHAMPION HOST
08:07OF PLANET DIVERS.
08:08NOW, MICHAEL, YOU'RE AWARE OF
08:11THE PEOPLE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO
08:13GO AFTER AND DESTROY TRUMP.
08:15YOU KNOW, TO GO AFTER HIM FOR
08:17HIS ELECTION CLAIMS.
08:18BUT IT BLEW UP IN HER FACE, AND
08:20NOW SHE'S GOT TO FACE THE
08:21MUSIC.
08:22WHAT SAY YOU, YOUNG MAN?
08:23WHAT WE'RE SEEING FOR THE
08:25FIRST TIME DURING THIS SECOND
08:27TRUMP ADMINISTRATION IS
08:28ACCOUNTABILITY.
08:29WHEN GEORGE W. BUSH GOT INTO THE
08:31WHITE HOUSE IN 2000, THE FIRST
08:32THING HE SAID IS STOP GOING
08:34AFTER THE CLINTONS AND WHAT THEY
08:35DID ON THE WAY OUT.
08:36BECAUSE THE REPUBLICANS USED TO
08:38SIT DOWN AND TAKE IT AND THE
08:39FIGHT.
08:41HE'S GOING TO BE A LITTLE BIT OF
08:43THE PEOPLE.
08:44HE'S GOING TO BE A LITTLE BIT OF
08:46THE PEOPLE.
08:47LOOK WHAT HAPPENED WITH KAVANAUGH.
08:48NONE OF THOSE PEOPLE HAD ANY
08:49REPERCUSSIONS FOR MAKING HIM OUT
08:50TO BE A DRUNK AND GANGRAPIST.
08:51NOW TRUMP COMES IN THE SECOND
08:52TIME AND HE'S LIKE, IF YOU WANT
08:53TO PLAY WITH FIRE, YOU'RE GOING
08:54TO GET BURNED.
08:55AND ALL THESE PEOPLE, THEY'RE
08:56SAYING IT'S REVENGE.
08:57YOU STARTED THIS.
08:58SO NOW YOU'RE FAFO.
09:00I'M GLAD PEOPLE ARE HAVING
09:02CONSEQUENCES FOR ALL THIS
09:03UNPRECEDENTED STUFF OF TRYING TO
09:05PUT A FORMER PRESIDENT IN JAIL
09:06NOT FOR THE THINGS THAT WERE
09:07WRONG BUT THE THINGS THAT WERE
09:08RIGHT.
09:09EXCELLENT POINT.
09:10THANK YOU.
09:12THANK YOU.
09:14MICHAEL MAKES A GOOD POINT.
09:18I THINK THAT ALL OF THIS WAS
09:20BASED ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT
09:21TRUMP WAS FINISHED.
09:22THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO COME
09:24BACK.
09:25IT'S GOT TO BE THE WORST
09:26NIGHTMARE.
09:27THAT THEY WENT ALL OUT TO
09:29DESTROY HIM AND THEN HE WINS AND
09:31NOW THEY GOT TO PAY THE PIPER.
09:33A PHRASE I JUST COINED.
09:35I MEAN, YEAH, BUT THAT'S WHY
09:37THEY TRIED SO HARD TO GET HIM
09:39IN JAIL WITH EVERY SINGLE CASE
09:40THEY BROUGHT AGAINST HIM BECAUSE
09:41THEY KNEW HE HAD A PRETTY GOOD
09:42CHANCE OF WINNING.
09:43THEY WOULD HAVE HAD A BETTER
09:45ARGUMENT THAT SHE DIDN'T MISUSE
09:47TAXPAYER FUNDS HAD SHE NOT WALKED
09:49IN WITH A BRAND-NEW LOUIE VITTON
09:51AND THIS BIG WHITE JACKET WITH
09:53ALL THE FUR LOOKING LIKE SHE'S
09:54WORTH A MILLION DOLLARS.
09:55THAT SENS A REALLY BAD MESSAGE
09:57OF WHERE DID YOU GET THE MONEY
09:58TO DO THAT?
09:59LOOK AT HER.
10:00YEAH.
10:01WOW.
10:02THAT IS 60-DEGREE WEATHER IN
10:04ATLANTA AND SHE'S WEARING A FUR
10:06COAT.
10:07IT'S THAT REAL HOUSEWIVES OF
10:09ATLANTA LOOK THAT SHE'S GOING
10:10FOR THAT SHE REACHED.
10:11SHE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT BEING
10:13CALLED THE N-WORD OR HAVING IT
10:14WRITTEN.
10:15TO YOUR POINT, GREG, FOR SO
10:16LONG THE LEFT HAS KNOWN THAT IF
10:17THEY SHOUT RACISM OR BIGOTRY
10:19THEY SHUT DEBATE DOWN BECAUSE
10:20THE WORST SIN IN AMERICA THAT
10:21YOU COULD BE IS TO BE PERCEIVED
10:23AS PREJUDICE OR EVEN BE
10:24PERCEIVED AS RACIST EVEN IF
10:25YOU'RE NOT RACIST AT ALL.
10:26THEY'VE BEEN USING THAT
10:27PLAYBOOK BUT IT DOESN'T WORK
10:28ANYMORE.
10:29I GOT TO SAY THAT IS A NICE
10:31LOOKING COAT.
10:32I WOULD WEAR IT.
10:33IT WAS QUITE BEAUTIFUL.
10:35KAT, DO WE HAVE VIDEO FROM THE
10:38BECAUSE DO PEOPLE REMEMBER HOW
10:40AWESOME NATHAN WADE WAS ON WHEN
10:43HE WAS BEING INTERROGATED UNDER
10:45OATH?
10:46DO WE HAVE ONE OF THAT GREAT
10:48MOMENT, ONE OF OUR FAVORITE
10:49MOMENTS?
10:50DID YOU GO TO A CABIN WITH
10:53MS. WILLIS EVER?
10:56EVER?
10:57EVER.
10:58EVER.
11:18NO.
11:19SO, KAT, THERE ARE TWO OPTIONS
11:23HERE.
11:24ONE, IT WAS SO UNMEMORABLE THAT
11:27HE COULDN'T REMEMBER IT OR THAT
11:29IT WAS SO MEMORABLE HE WAS
11:31REMEMBERING IT RIGHT THERE.
11:34NO, I THINK THAT WAS A VERY
11:36NORMAL WAY TO BEHAVE.
11:37HE WAS JUST MENTALLY SERVING
11:40ALL THE CABINS HE'D EVER BEEN
11:44TO.
11:45YES.
11:46AND THEN LIKE DOING, MAYBE HE
11:47HAD A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY OF ALL
11:50THE CABINS AND HE WAS LOOKING IN
11:51THE MENTAL PICTURES FOR HER.
11:52YES.
11:53I MEAN, I MEAN, HE WAS TRYING TO
11:56DECIDE, LIKE, DO YOU THINK THEY
11:58KNOW ABOUT THE CABIN IS WHAT HE
12:00WAS TRYING.
12:01BUT IT WAS JUST, IT WAS COMEDY,
12:03NO?
12:04LIKE THE FACT THAT THAT WAS LIKE
12:05YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WATCHING A
12:06SKETCH WHEN YOU WATCH THAT.
12:07LIKE, HE ACTUALLY, HOW LONG WAS
12:09THAT PAUSE?
12:10IT WAS FANTASTIC.
12:11BUT, YEAH, THE THING, THAT'S
12:13THE THING, THIS WAS FUN TO WATCH
12:14TOO, IF YOU REMEMBER.
12:15YEAH.
12:16HIM AND THEN HER.
12:17AND THEN SHE'S, I REMEMBER
12:18THINKING AND I STILL DO THINK
12:19SHE COULD HAVE A CAREER IN
12:20REALITY TV.
12:21YES.
12:22BECAUSE THE WAY SHE COMES IN, LIKE
12:25YOU SAID, WEARING THAT COAT AND
12:27DOING IT LIKE THAT'S A DUMB ASS
12:28QUESTION.
12:29IT WAS A VERY INTERESTING THING
12:31TO WATCH UNFOLD BECAUSE IT IS SO
12:33UNBELIEVABLE.
12:34BUT I GUESS, YOU KNOW, THE
12:35THING IS, IF YOU, IF CAT HAD
12:36SAID THIS IS A DUMB ASS
12:37QUESTION IN COURT, SHE WOULD BE,
12:39WHAT DO THEY DO?
12:40THEY CAN THROW YOU IN JAIL.
12:41YEAH.
12:42TYRUS, RIGHT?
12:43I'M NOT A LAWYER ALTHOUGH I
12:45HAVE TOLD WOMEN THAT AT BARS.
12:46ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT A
12:55CABIN, TYRUS?
12:56HE'S SURVEYING ALL THE
12:59CABINS HE'S BEEN TO.
13:00YES.
13:03ALL RIGHT.
13:08NO.
13:09THAT WAS THE GREATEST ANSWER
13:14QUESTION.
13:16IF YOU ANSWER A MAN WHO IS IN
13:19DEEP .
13:21THAT IS TEXTBOOK HOW YOU ANSWER
13:23THAT QUESTION.
13:24YES.
13:25IF YOU KNOW OR YOU ARE
13:27UNSURE OF WHAT YOUR WIFE KNOWS
13:29AND DOESN'T KNOW OR WHATEVER IT
13:30IS YOU SCREWED UP, YOU TAKE THE
13:32TIME TO BE DAMN SURE BEFORE YOU
13:34ANSWER.
13:35BECAUSE IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH,
13:39FELLAS, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WAIT
13:41LONG ENOUGH, SHE WILL TELL YOU.
13:44YEAH.
13:45SO WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO DO WAS
13:47WAIT FOR THE ATTORNEY TO BE
13:48LIKE, WE HAVE THE PHOTOS.
13:49RIGHT.
13:50THAT'S WHAT HE WAS WAITING FOR.
13:51THEN HE WOULD BE LIKE, I
13:52DROPPED HER OFF THERE.
13:53I DIDN'T STAY LONG.
13:54RIGHT.
13:55BUT HE WAS WAITING AND SHE
13:56WAS LIKE, SHE AIN'T GOING TO
13:57SAY NOTHING WHICH MEANS SHE
13:58AIN'T GOT NOTHING WHICH MEANS
13:59NO.
14:00HE WAS OUT.
14:01OH, MY GOD.
14:02YOU'RE RIGHT.
14:03HE WAS WAITING HER OUT.
14:04IT WAS A LONG TIME, GREG.
14:07SOME OF THE STEREOTYPES, MEN
14:08AND MEN.
14:09WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.
14:10I LEARNED SO MUCH FROM YOU,
14:12TYRUS.
14:13ALTHOUGH IT'S OFTEN TOO LATE.
14:14BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT
14:16BOTH THINGS CAN BE RIGHT.
14:17MAYBE THEY DID DO ALL THOSE
14:18THINGS TO HER.
14:19THAT DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT YOU
14:20DID AND WHY YOU'RE IN COURT.
14:21YEAH.
14:22THAT'S TRUE.
14:23PEOPLE TEND TO DO MEAN
14:24THINGS TO PEOPLE WHO DO BAD
14:25THINGS OR ARE PERCEIVED TO DO
14:26BAD THINGS.
14:27THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING
14:28ON IN COURT.
14:29THEY MIGHT HAVE PUT A BIG
14:31KNUCKLEHEAD ON YOUR DOOR OR NOT
14:34TODAY, LADY, OR, YOU KNOW.
14:35YEAH.
14:36NO KILLING FURS OR WHATEVER
14:37THEY DID.
14:38IT DOESN'T MATTER.
14:39MAYBE THEY DIDN'T SET ALL THOSE
14:40HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT YOU.
14:41DOESN'T MATTER.
14:42YOU'RE IN COURT NOW FOR WHAT YOU
14:43DID OR DIDN'T DO WRONG.
14:44YEAH.
14:45THAT STUFF MEANS, WHEN THEY BRING
14:46THAT STUFF UP, IT MEANS
14:47THEY'RE TRYING TO HIDE FROM
14:48WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON.
14:49YEAH.
14:50THAT'S THE THING.
14:51AND THEY THOUGHT, LIKE, THEY
14:53WORKED ON THE ANTI-TRUMP GRAVY
14:57TRAIN, THEY THOUGHT IT WAS GOING
14:58TO RIDE THEM TO NIRVANA AND
15:00INSTEAD WENT OFF THE RAILS INTO
15:02A REALLY CLUMSY ANALOGY.
15:04DO YOU THINK KNUCKLEHEAD
15:07STARTS WITH AN N?
15:09NO.
15:10I THINK THE PERSON WHO DID IT
15:12HAD THEIR ENCYCLOPEDIA GOING,
15:14OH, THAT'S THE K IS SILENT ON
15:16THAT ONE.
15:17DO YOU MEAN A DICTIONARY?
15:18YEAH.
15:19OKAY.
15:20ALL RIGHT.
15:21I LOVE THIS STORY.
15:25I LOVE THIS STORY.
15:30YEAH, YEAH, HEY.
15:35CANDICE ALWAYS ASKS WHAT'S IN
15:38HER PANTS, THIS POOR LADY IN
15:40FRANCE.
15:41OUR VIDEO OF THE DAY COMES FROM
15:43PIERS MORGAN UNCENSORED WHERE
15:44CANDICE OWENS STOPPED BY TO
15:46DISCUSS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE
15:47OF OUR TIME, DOES BRIDGET MCCRONE
15:48HAVE A PENIS?
15:49Does Bridget McCrone have a penis?
15:52Bridget McCrone has a penis.
15:54I really want you to know that.
15:54Bridget McCrone does not have a penis.
15:56Bridget McCrone has a penis.
15:57No, she doesn't.
15:58I'm sorry.
15:59She had three children.
16:00Did she get it removed?
16:00She had three children.
16:02Yeah, you can have adoptive children.
16:05You can call somebody.
16:05But Bridget McCrone was born a dude named Jean-Michel Trognet.
16:08And I just feel, I want you to know that.
16:10I want you to know that Bridget McCrone probably stands peeing up.
16:14Probably pee standing up is what I want you to know.
16:16The beauty is, the beauty is we have a big bet.
16:17Yeah, I think Bridget stands.
16:19We have a big bet and we're going to find out because she's going to court.
16:21And, you know, you will lose that court case.
16:24I think you know you will.
16:25Yeah.
16:26I am not going to lose a court case because Bridget is presenting evidence that Bridget was born a woman
16:31because that's never even been offered.
16:33That's just their PR coming after and saying these things.
16:36Nobody believes that Bridget McCrone is just unable to present any pictures.
16:40Nobody's asking for blood.
16:42All right.
16:43Let's wait for the court case.
16:45Let's wait for the court case.
16:45Okay, great.
16:46And you will be proven wrong again unless there's just federal corruption.
16:53This is bonkers.
16:55But I love it.
16:57There's something wrong with me.
17:00I'm just glad I'm not being sued to prove I have a penis.
17:03Because after I win that case, too many jurors are going to ask for my phone number.
17:07Cat.
17:08Why me?
17:12Because I didn't want to go to Brianna first.
17:17It's probably the first time in history there's a black person in a story.
17:21He didn't go to me.
17:21I HAVE NO OPINION ON THIS,
17:25EXCEPT THAT THIS IS WHAT THE
17:27NEWS WAS MADE FOR, KAT.
17:29I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.
17:31I LOVE IT WHEN CANDICE GOES, I
17:34WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT.
17:36LIKE, IT'S SUCH A STRANGE WAY
17:39TO POSSIBLY.
17:40I AM VERY, VERY PROUD TO
17:43ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN
17:46FOLLOWING THIS.
17:47I'M VERY HAPPY TO SAY THAT I'VE
17:50HAPPENED.
17:51I DON'T CARE HOW MANY PENIS
17:53ANYONE HAS.
17:54ONE PENIS, NO PENIS, TEN PENISES,
17:56I DON'T CARE.
17:58I'M GLAD THAT YOU DO.
18:00I'M GLAD YOU'RE REALLY DIALED
18:02INTO PENIS NEWS.
18:03NO, I'M NOT.
18:05I JUST FIND IT HILARIOUS.
18:07I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU CARE ABOUT
18:09THIS ANYTHING THIS MUCH EVER.
18:11THE CANADIAN GUY.
18:13THAT'S TRUE.
18:15I STAND CORRECTED.
18:17I'M NOT MAKING ANY CLAIMS,
18:20I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT.
18:21I'M JUST SAYING THIS IS
18:24HILARIOUS.
18:25I'M SORRY IF THAT OFFENDS YOU.
18:27IT DOESN'T OFFEND ME.
18:28I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT YOU FOUND
18:30SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL
18:31THIS ALIVE.
18:32AND IT DOES.
18:36SO TYRUS, YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS,
18:40TYRUS?
18:41THIS IS A LIVE ACTION SOUTH
18:42PARK.
18:43YOU KNOW, WHERE THE STORYLINE IS
18:44SO ABSURD.
18:45LIKE, YOU KNOW, ON SOUTH PARK
18:47THEY SAY TRUMP IS HAVING A BABY
18:48WITH SATAN.
18:49YES.
18:50HERE IT'S LIKE SHE'S SAYING THE
18:51FIRST LADY OF FRANCE HAS A
18:52WEENIE.
18:53I MEAN, IS SHE JUST BASICALLY
18:55TROLLING THE WORLD AND SHE
18:56DOESN'T CARE THAT SHE COULD
18:57LOSE ALL HER MONEY?
18:58I MEAN, THIS IS GOING TO COURT,
19:00GREG.
19:01YES.
19:02COULD YOU IMAGINE THAT THEY GET
19:03MACRON'S WIFE ON THE STAND?
19:04YEAH.
19:05AND THE ATTORNEY HAS TO ASK HER.
19:07WILL SHE STAND OR STAND?
19:08MA'AM, DO YOU HAVE A PENIS?
19:12AND THEN SHE'S GOT TO ANSWER
19:13HIM.
19:14NO, NO, NO, NO.
19:28NO.
19:30OR YES.
19:32OR A BRIANA.
19:34YOU KNOW, WE SAW ALEX JONES GET,
19:38LIKE, HE LOST EVERYTHING WITH
19:42SANDY HOOK.
19:43I MEAN, IS THIS, WHAT IS, I
19:45MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE A SUICIDE
19:48MISSION ON HER PART FOR HER
19:49CAREER OR WHAT?
19:50WHAT'S GOING ON?
19:51I MEAN, I THINK SHE ALREADY
19:53KILLED HER CAREER WITH THE WAY
19:55SHE'S BEEN HANDLING CHARLIE
19:56KIRK'S DEATH AND JUST
19:59MALIGNING ERIKA KIRK AND THE
20:00REST OF TURNING POINT.
20:01BUT I ACTUALLY, I THINK IT'S
20:03SAD BECAUSE KANDACE AT ONE POINT
20:04IN TIME WAS SOMEONE THAT YOUNG
20:06CONSERVATIVES COULD LOOK UP TO
20:07AND GET SMART TAKES.
20:08THEY FELT LIKE THEY WERE
20:09LEARNING SOMETHING NEW FROM
20:10HER.
20:11AND SHE HAS A BIG REACH.
20:12SO IT'S SAD THAT SHE'S
20:13WASTING HER TIME TRYING TO
20:14FIGURE OUT IF THE FRENCH FIRST
20:16LADY HAS A PENIS.
20:17INSTEAD OF DOING THINGS LIKE
20:19HER FORMER FRIEND CHARLIE
20:20KIRK DID, WHICH IS
20:21REGISTERING YOUNG VOTERS,
20:22GETTING THEM TO TURN OUT.
20:27THAT IS THE BEST WAY TO HONOR
20:29YOUR FRIEND AND NOT FOCUS ON
20:32PENIS HOOD.
20:33PENIS HOOD MEANS
20:35SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
20:36DOES IT REALLY?
20:39OH, NOW YOU CARE ABOUT THE
20:42STORY.
20:44FIRST OF ALL, IF SOMEONE HAD
20:47TEN PENISES, I THINK WE WOULD
20:48ALL CARE.
20:49I THINK WE WOULD ALL CARE ABOUT
20:53THAT.
20:54LET'S BE CLEAR.
20:55ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT
20:56HAPPENED TO ME THIS YEAR WAS I
20:57WAS AT THE RANGE WHICH IS A
20:58GUN RANGE IN A LOVELY AUSTIN
20:59AND ROSEANN BARR CALLS ME.
21:00SHE GOES, DO YOU WANT TO HEAR
21:01SOME OF MY JOKES?
21:02I'M LIKE, OF COURSE.
21:03SHE GOES, IF CLANDICE OWENS IS
21:05SO AMERICA FIRST, WHY IS SHE
21:06EXPOSING BIRGIT MACRON AND NOT
21:08MICHELLE OBAMA?
21:12IT'S HARD ENOUGH FOR ME TO
21:14PROVE THAT I AM A GUY.
21:16I AM ALWAYS EXPOSING MYSELF IN
21:19THE GREEN ROOM.
21:20FORTUNATELY, KAT HAD A
21:22MAGNIFYING GLASS SO SHE CAN
21:23ATTEST THAT I AM A HE HIM.
21:25BUT THE THING IS, BEFORE ANY
21:27CONSPIRACY THEORY, I HAVE TO
21:28ASK MYSELF WHAT WOULD NEED TO
21:29BE TRUE FOR THIS TO BE TRUE?
21:30SHE HAS HAD BIOLOGICAL
21:31CHILDREN.
21:32AND THEY SAY HER BROTHER
21:33VANISHED AND THE BROTHER
21:34REPLACED HER.
21:35THE BROTHER IS STILL ALIVE.
21:36THE BROTHER IS STILL ALIVE.
21:38SHE IS STILL ALIVE.
21:39YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT HER
21:40STILL ALIVE.
21:41SHE IS STILL ALIVE.
21:43SHE IS STILL ALIVE.
21:45SHE IS STILL ALIVE.
21:46SHE IS STILL ALIVE.
21:48I THINK IT'S BPD.
21:50THEY HAVE THAT THEY JUST ALWAYS
21:51DOUBLE DOWN.
21:52WHICH IS BORDERLINE BIPOLAR
21:53DISORDER.
21:55PERSONALITY DISORDER.
21:56WELL, I WILL NEVER HAVE TO
21:58WORRY ABOUT THAT.
21:59UP NEXT, THE WALL OF SHAME.
22:07TRUMP INSTALLS HILARIOUS
22:09PRESIDENTIAL PLAQUES, BRIANA, A
22:11MUCH SAFER TOPIC.
22:12SO TRUMP ADVAILED THESE NEW
22:15PLAQUES IN THE WHITE HOUSE
22:16PRESIDENTIAL WALK OF FAME.
22:17OBAMA NOW READS, ONE OF THE MOST
22:20DEFICITIVE POLITICAL FIGURES IN
22:21AMERICAN HISTORY.
22:22HE PASSED THE INEFFECTIVE
22:24UNAFFORDABLE ACT, PRESIDENT
22:25OVER A STAGNANT ECONOMY, APPROVED
22:27THE TERRIBLE RANT.
22:28THEN HE TALKS ABOUT, HE TALKS
22:30ABOUT, HE TALKS ABOUT, HE TALKS
22:31ABOUT, HE TALKS ABOUT, HE TALKS
22:33ABOUT, HE TALKS ABOUT, IT GOES ON
22:35AND ON AND ON.
22:37SLEEPY JOE BIDEN, HE WRITES, WAS
22:39BY FAR THE WORST PRESIDENT IN
22:40AMERICAN HISTORY.
22:41THEN HE GOES ON AND TALKS ABOUT
22:43HE HAD TO WITHDRAW FROM HIS
22:45CAMPAIGN FOR REELECTION IN
22:46DISGRACE.
22:47NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE, INCLUDING
22:48REPUBLICANS, ARE UPSET BY THIS.
22:50THEY SAY IT'S LIKE, IT'S VERY
22:52PETTY.
22:52BUT AREN'T, ISN'T THE REASON WHY
22:54SO MANY THINGS ARE FUNNY IS
22:56FUNNY, BUT IF YOU WANT TO TALK
22:58ABOUT WHAT'S PRESIDENTIAL AND
23:00WHAT'S NOT PRESIDENTIAL,
23:01SABOTAGING THE INCOMING PRESIDENT
23:03BY ILLEGALLY SPYING ON HIS
23:04CAMPAIGN, THAT'S NOT
23:05PRESIDENTIAL.
23:05TRYING TO THROW YOUR OPPONENT IN
23:07JAIL, NOT PRESIDENTIAL.
23:08THROWING PETER NAVARRO AND STEVE
23:10BANNON IN JAIL, NOT
23:11PRESIDENTIAL.
23:12MAKING FUNNY THINGS UNDER
23:13PICTURES, PRESIDENTIAL.
23:14AND YOU KNOW WHAT, TYRUS,
23:16THIS IS VERY TRUMP IN THAT HE
23:18SEES IT'S AN EASY NO-BRAINER,
23:20SO HE JUST DOES IT.
23:21HE JUST DOES IT.
23:22AND HE CAN.
23:23YEAH.
23:24IT'S NOT, I PERSONALLY DON'T
23:25CARE BECAUSE I WOULD DO
23:26SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND I DO IT
23:27ALL THE TIME.
23:28YES.
23:29YOU KNOW, SO WHEN HE
23:31LEAVES OFFICE, THE NEXT
23:32PRESIDENT CAN GO DOWN THE HALL
23:33AND CHANGE IT.
23:34YES.
23:35YOU KNOW, SO MAYBE THAT'S A
23:36NEW THING.
23:37NOW EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING
23:38FORWARD TO WHICH PRESIDENT
23:40DISSES WHICH PRESIDENT.
23:41YEAH.
23:42YOU KNOW, LIKE, AND YOU CAN
23:43JUST FIND A PRESIDENT AND TALK
23:45TRASH ABOUT HIM IF YOU DIDN'T
23:46LIKE HIM.
23:47SO ALL THE DEMOCRATS WILL TALK
23:49TRASH AND THEN WE'LL FIND OUT
23:50WHO THE MOST RACIST PRESIDENT
23:51IS BECAUSE APE LINCOLN, IT'LL
23:52JUST BE Y.
23:53YOU KNOW, SO YOU CAN, I WOULD DO
23:56THAT.
23:57IF I WAS PRESIDENT, I'D COME IN AND
23:59MAKE FUN AND WRITE LITTLE
24:00THINGS ABOUT HIM AND NOT AS TALL
24:01OR THIS, THAT, WHATEVER.
24:02WHY NOT?
24:03IT'S NOT LIKE HE IS GOING AFTER
24:06THEM AND DOING THAT AND TRYING
24:07TO ARREST THEM AND TAKE AWAY
24:09THEIR POLITICAL CAREERS OR RUIN
24:11THEIR FAMILY OR GIVE SPEECHES
24:14WHERE THEY COMPARED THEM TO
24:16WONDERFUL HISTORICAL FIGURES
24:17LIKE HITLER.
24:18YEAH.
24:19THOSE THINGS KIND OF STING A
24:21LITTLE BIT LONGER THAN SOMETHING
24:23ON THE WALL AND LET'S BE HONEST,
24:25YOU COULD TELL JOE BIDEN EVERY
24:27DAY THAT TRUMP TROLED HIM ON THE
24:28WALL.
24:29AS SOON AS YOU'RE DONE, HE'S
24:31GOING TO BE HONEST.
24:33I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
24:34I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
24:35IT'S FINE.
24:36I SEEM TO REMEMBER, MICHAEL,
24:38AND YOU ARE A HISTORIAN, I
24:39BELIEVE.
24:40DIDN'T THEY LIKE WHEN, WAS IT
24:41BUSH?
24:42THE SECOND BUSH ENTERED THE
24:44WHITE HOUSE.
24:45THEY REMOVED ALL THE W'S FROM
24:46THE KEYBOARDS.
24:47YEAH.
24:48AND ALSO, I FORGET HER FIRST
24:49NAME, SHE WAS ONE OF THE 9-11
24:50VICTIMS.
24:51SHE WROTE A BOOK CALLED FINAL
24:52EXIT, I THINK, ABOUT THE LAST
24:53DAYS, FINAL DAYS OF THE
24:54CLINTON WHITE HOUSE.
24:55I THINK THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE
24:57BECAUSE KAREN IS THE BIG SWING
24:58VOTER.
24:59AND KAREN'S WHITE SUBURBAN WOMEN
25:01DO NOT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
25:02BECAUSE YOU POINT OUT THE HOME
25:03ALONE STUFF.
25:04IF YOU COMPRAST $20 TO $50 FOR
25:06GROCERIES AND YOUR ANSWER IS
25:07JOE BIDEN HAS AN AUTO PEN, SHE'S
25:08NOT GOING TO GO TO THE POLLS AND
25:10VOTE FOR YOU.
25:11SO THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM.
25:13I THINK WE SAW THAT IN THE
25:15ELECTIONS IN NOVEMBER IN
25:16VIRGINIA AND NEW JERSEY, A HUGE
25:18MARCH FOR THE DEMOCRATS.
25:19I THINK THAT TRUMP DOESN'T
25:21RECONTROL WHAT THE NARRATIVE IS.
25:23IT'S GOING TO BLOW UP IN THE
25:24MIDTERMS REALLY BADLY.
25:25SO THAT'S AN INTERESTING
25:26POINT.
25:27AND WILSON IS THE WORST
25:28PRESIDENT BY FAR, NOT BIDEN.
25:29COME ON.
25:30IS HE?
25:31FDR IS THE WORST PRESIDENT.
25:32WILSON IS MUCH WORSE.
25:33COME ON.
25:34I'M RELATED TO FDR.
25:35I'M RELATED TO FIND YOU.
25:38I'M RELATED TO FIND YOU.
25:39I'M RELATED TO FIND YOU.
25:40OH.
25:41SORRY, NUCKLEHEAD.
25:42SORRY, I'M RELATED.
25:43LET'S BEAT HIM UP.
25:45LET'S.
25:46LIKE YOU'RE DOING ANYTHING.
25:48ALL RIGHT, CAT.
25:50WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
25:52DOES IT OFFEND YOU?
25:53ARE YOU UPSET BY THIS?
25:55WOULD YOU DO THIS YOURSELF IF
25:57YOU WERE PRESIDENT?
25:58IF WE ONE DAY ELECT A FEMALE,
26:00WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN.
26:01BUT.
26:02I THINK WHAT I KNOW, BUT I
26:04SOMETHING I MIGHT DO WOULD BE I
26:06WOULD ASK YOU FOR A BUNCH OF
26:07YOUR SHOES TO DONATE TO KIDS.
26:11AND THEN INSTEAD, I WOULD HANG
26:13THEM ALL OVER THE WALL AND I
26:15WOULD HAVE IT BE PART OF THE
26:16WHITE HOUSE TOUR.
26:17HEY, LOOK AT THIS MAN.
26:18LOOK HOW TINY HIS LITTLE SHOES
26:19ARE.
26:21LOOK HOW TINY HIS LITTLE SHOES
26:25ARE.
26:26THAT IS VERY COOL.
26:28BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST
26:29WORKSHOPPING IT.
26:30BUT HERE'S THE THING.
26:31HERE'S THE THING ABOUT THIS.
26:33I, WHATEVER, IF HE HAD HIS
26:35FRIENDS, LITTLE FRIENDS COME IN
26:36HERE TO DO THIS, THEN LIKE
26:37WHATEVER.
26:38BUT I DON'T THINK THAT, LIKE A
26:40GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE DID THIS
26:41PROBABLY, RIGHT?
26:42WHICH MEANS LIKE WHEN I LOOK AT
26:44HOW MUCH I PAY IN TAXES, WHEN I
26:46THAT I THINK THAT I HAVE THEM
26:47GOING TO DO THIS, I THINK THAT
26:49I HAVE THEM GOING TO DO THIS.
26:50BUT I THINK THAT I HAVE THEM
26:52WITH THAT VERSUS JUST BEING
26:53ABLE TO KEEP MORE OF MY MONEY.
26:54I WOULD RATHER KEEP MORE OF
26:55MY DOLLARS.
26:56BUT I'D RATHER HAVE THEM DO
26:59THIS THAN WHAT THEY ARE DOING
27:00WITH, LIKE, THEIR STUPID LITTLE
27:01WOKE BULL BULL S**T.
27:02YOU KNOW, I'D RATHER HAVE MY
27:04MONEY GOING TO TROLLING AND
27:05PRANKS.
27:06HELL, YEAH.
27:07AMEN, BROTHER.
27:08HOPEFULLY YOU'D RATHER HAVE
27:09YOUR SHOES GOING TO THE KIDS.
27:10YES.
27:11I'M ALL ABOUT THE KIDS AND THEIR
27:12I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO
27:14THAT.
27:15I'M GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO
27:17THAT.
27:18WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
27:20MY SHOES ARE ALSO EXPENSIVE.
27:22I HAVE HIPPO LEATHER.
27:24WHAT ARE THOSE?
27:26HIPPO LEATHER.
27:27YOU'RE TERRIBLE.
27:29MY GOD.
27:31THAT MEANS THE VIEW IS NOT ON
27:33TOMORROW.
27:34WE MADE THIS FROM STAR
27:37JONES.
27:38THANK YOU.
27:44PASTOR TELLS CHICKS LOSE WEIGHT.
27:48PASTOR TELLS CHICKS LOSE WEIGHT.
27:51SO TYRUS SAYS TEXAS PASTOR
27:53JOEL WEBBIN SAID IN A PODCAST
27:55THAT IN ADDITION TO WOMEN
27:56TRUSTING THE LORD THEY NEED TO
27:58DROP SOME POUND IF THEY WANT TO
28:00GET A DUDE, ROLL IT.
28:02HERE'S THE ADVICE FOR YOUNG
28:05SINGLE WOMEN WHO WANT TO BE
28:07THANK YOU.
28:08YOU COULD PERHAPS NEED TO MAYBE
28:10BE INTENTIONAL OVER THE NEXT
28:12THREE TO SIX MONTHS IN A
28:13HEALTHY WAY TO STRIVE TO LOSE
28:1620 TO 30 POUNDS.
28:18ONE OF THE THINGS RIGHT NOW FOR
28:19YOU THAT WOULD, THAT WOULD
28:21SOMEWHAT DRASTICALLY INCREASE
28:24YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS
28:27IS LOSING SOME WEIGHT.
28:29THIS IS SO OFFENSIVE.
28:32CLEARLY, 20 TO 30 POUNDS,
28:34TYRUS, IS NOT ENOUGH.
28:39WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
28:45WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS?
28:47WHAT HE'S SAYING IS THAT GUYS
28:48DON'T...
28:52ARE YOU SCARED?
28:56YEAH.
28:57YOU CAN'T AGREE WITH HIM, CAN
28:59YOU?
29:00I MEAN, I WANT TO.
29:05BUT, IF SHE WATCHES THIS ONE
29:09EPISODE, ANY WOMAN, THIS IS
29:12STUPID.
29:13YEAH.
29:14THIS MAN, THIS MAN IS A
29:15FRAUD.
29:16HE'S, HE'S, HE'S, HE'S, HE'S
29:18WANTING TO SAY THIS TO HIS WIFE.
29:21BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE THE BALLS
29:22TO SAY IT.
29:23RIGHT.
29:24SO HE'S SAYING, HEY, YOUNG
29:25LADIES.
29:26YES.
29:27SO HE'S GOING TO SPEND A
29:30LARGE WOMEN.
29:31SO, LIKE, 30 TO 20 POUNDS, FOR
29:33AN AVERAGE WOMAN?
29:34THAT CAN PUT HER IN A LIFE
29:36SUPPORT SYSTEM.
29:37THAT'S A LOT OF WEIGHT.
29:38IS HE TRYING TO SEND ME TO
29:39THE HOSPITAL?
29:40YEAH.
29:41FOR REAL, HE'S, I'M ASSUMING,
29:44HIS WIFE HAS PUT ON A FEW
29:45POUNDS OVER THE YEARS.
29:46YEAH.
29:47HE FEELS LIKE HE'S AN EXPERT ON
29:48THE DISCOMFORT OF BEING WITH A
29:49LARGE WOMAN.
29:50RIGHT.
29:51MY ARGUMENT WOULD HAVE BEEN
29:52LEARN TO LIFT WEIGHTS,
29:54INSTEAD OF GOING INTO A
29:56I DON'T WANT TO GET A GUY.
29:58I DON'T WANT TO GET A GUY.
30:00I DON'T WANT TO GET A GUY.
30:02I DON'T WANT TO GET A GUY.
30:04YOU SHOULD HAVE TALKED TO GOD
30:06BEFORE YOU DID THIS INTERVIEW.
30:08GOD WOULD BE LIKE, WHOA, DUDE.
30:10THE LORD WAS LIKE, THOU SHALL
30:12NOT BE INVOLVED IN THIS ONE.
30:14YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, DUDE.
30:16MICHAEL, HE SAYS STUFF MEN ARE
30:18TOO SCARED TO SAY BECAUSE THEY
30:20ARE WIMPS.
30:22I THINK HE'S WRONG.
30:24I THINK IT'S KIND OF GROSS.
30:28I THINK IT'S KIND OF GROSS.
30:30LISTEN, I WEAR HIPPO LEATHER.
30:32I DON'T NEED TO BE DATING IT.
30:34YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
30:36THAT'S TERRIBLE.
30:38HOW OFFENSIVE.
30:40KAT, UH, SHOULD ANYBODY EVER TELL
30:44A WOMAN TO LOSE WEIGHT?
30:46THIS GUY SUCKS.
30:48NO, I HATE THIS GUY.
30:50HE'S A HORRIBLE PERSON.
30:52I THINK I'M GOING TO BE
30:54DONE.
30:56I'M GOING TO BE DONE.
30:58I'M GOING TO BE DONE FOR ANOTHER
30:59HUMAN LIFE, BOOB REMOVAL AND
31:00ADDING BOOBS BACK ON.
31:01I'VE LIVED IN SO MANY DIFFERENT
31:02BODIES THIS YEAR.
31:03I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I DID NOT
31:05MARRY A PIECE OF LIKE THIS GUY.
31:07BECAUSE I NEVER ONCE HAD TO FEEL
31:09LIKE THERE WAS ANYTHING WRONG
31:10WITH ME BECAUSE OF ANY OF IT.
31:11IT'S SO GROSS.
31:12IT'S SO STUPID.
31:13AND BY THE WAY, I LOOKED UP THIS
31:15GUY.
31:16HE SAID, I BELIEVE THAT THE SWORD
31:18HAS BEEN GIVEN TO MEN.
31:19THE SWORD IS WITHOUT BEING CRUDE.
31:21I THINK THIS IS A FACT OF
31:22PHALLUS.
31:23IT IS ASSIGNED BY GOD BY MEN.
31:25THAT'S PART OF WHAT POLITICS IS.
31:26WARFARE.
31:27THIS GUY IS AN IDIOT IN ADDITION
31:29TO BEING AN ASSHOLE.
31:30AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL I
31:32HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.
31:34THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL I HAVE TO
31:36DO.
31:38NOW I'M CHANGING MY MIND ABOUT IT.
31:41I LIKE HIM MORE.
31:42YEAH.
31:43BRIANNA, I DON'T THINK THIS ADVICE
31:46IS ACTUALLY IN THE BIBLE.
31:48YEAH.
31:49I'VE READ IT.
31:50IT'S AGAINST IT.
31:52YEAH.
31:54YEAH.
31:55YEAH.
31:56I'M GOING TO SAY SOMETHING
31:58THAT'S GOING TO BE VERY
31:59UNPOPULAR.
32:00I THINK THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF
32:02YOUNG WOMEN TODAY WHO ARE NOT
32:03OVERWEIGHT.
32:04YOU'RE RIGHT.
32:05YOU'RE RIGHT.
32:06YOU'RE RIGHT.
32:07YOU'RE RIGHT.
32:08SOMEBODY SAID IT.
32:09THEY ARE OVERWEIGHT.
32:10SO MUCH.
32:11AND I THINK THERE ARE A LOT OF
32:13WOMEN WHO COULD STAND TO LOSE
32:1520 TO 30 POUNDS FOR TWO REASONS.
32:16ONE, JUST FOR HEALTH PURPOSES.
32:18BEING OBESE IS NOT HEALTHY.
32:20AND TWO, IF YOU ARE, YOU KNOW, A
32:23GIRL MY HEIGHT, YOU KNOW, MY SIZE,
32:25AND I PUT ON 40 POUNDS.
32:26A MAN WILL STILL ABSOLUTELY
32:27BANG YOU.
32:28THEY DO NOT CARE.
32:29IF IT'S IN THE WRONG SPOTS,
32:30THEY WON'T.
32:31AND I ALSO THINK THAT PEOPLE WHO
32:32WON'T.
32:33THEY WON'T.
32:34THEY WON'T.
32:35THEY WON.
32:36THEY WON.
32:37THE BODY POSITIVITY MOVEMENT THAT
32:39WE HAVE SEEN FOR A DECADE SAID
32:40OBESITY IS GREAT.
32:41AND THE SECOND PEOPLE LIKE LIZO
32:42AND MEGAN TRAINER WHO WROTE AN
32:43ENTIRE SONG ABOUT LOVING YOUR
32:44BODY THE WAY IT IS, AS SOON AS
32:45THE OPPORTUNITY FOR A ZEMPA CAME
32:46OUT, THEY JUMPED ON IT.
32:47EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE SKINNY.
32:48SO DON'T BLAME THIS GUY FOR
32:49SAYING WHAT EVERYBODY IS
32:50THINKING.
32:51AND HE JUST SAYS IT.
32:52AND I THINK HE DOES HAVE A
32:53POINT.
32:54THEY WON'T.
32:55THEY WON'T.
32:56THEY WON'T.
32:57THEY WON'T.
32:58THEY WON'T.
32:59THEY WON'T.
33:00THEY WON'T.
33:01THEY CAN'T BE TOO SHORT.
33:02THEY CAN'T HAVE THE WRONG DAD
33:03BOD.
33:04THEY CAN'T SAY THEY WANT A
33:05SKINNY WOMAN.
33:06YOU KNOW WHAT?
33:07I AGREE WITH YOU.
33:09THAT LIKE GIRLS LOOK AT SHORT
33:11GUYS THE WAY GUYS LOOK AT FAT
33:13WOMEN.
33:14OH, DAMMIT.
33:15THEY WON'T.
33:16THEY WON'T.
33:17THEY WON'T.
33:18THEY WON'T.
33:19THEY WON'T.
33:20THEY ARE NOT SAYING NO FAT
33:21CHICKS.
33:22THEY SAY NO FAT CHICKS.
33:24THEY MAY SAY IT.
33:25AFTER 6 PM.
33:26YES.
33:27AND THIS IS NOT ABOUT, HE'S
33:29NOT TALKING ABOUT MORBID
33:30OBESITY AND HEALTH.
33:31HE'S TALKING ABOUT 20, 30
33:32COSMETIC POUNDS.
33:33AND IF THAT IS THAT BIG OF A
33:35CONCERN TO YOU, THEN YOU SHOULD
33:37NOT HAVE A PARTNER.
33:38THOSE ARE SOME TOUGH WORDS.
33:39YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT.
33:41BODIES ARE GOING TO CHANGE
33:42THROUGHOUT A RELATIONSHIP.
33:43SOMETIMES A LOT.
33:44THEY ARE GOING TO CHANGE THROUGH
33:46THAT.
33:47THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
33:48THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
33:50ALL RIGHT.
33:51UP NEXT, SPYING SEX TOYS.
33:55A TROUBLING NEW REPORT QUESTIONS
33:58WHETHER YOUR FAVORITE SEX TOY,
34:00I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR MEANS,
34:03IS ACTUALLY SPYING ON YOU.
34:04HOW DO I CHOOSE JUST ONE?
34:07ALL RIGHT, CATS.
34:10CATS, SINCE YOU DECIDED TO SPEAK
34:11FIRST, I WILL GO TO YOU.
34:13THE COMPANIES SAY THEY GATHER
34:15THAT INFORMATION TO BETTER SERVE
34:18YOU.
34:18THE COMPANIES SAY THEY GATHER
34:21THAT INFORMATION LIKE LOCATION
34:24DATA, IP ADDRESSES, EVEN
34:27INTENSITY SETTINGS AND HOW
34:29FREQUENTLY YOU USE IT.
34:31COMPANIES SAY THEY GATHER THAT
34:33INFORMATION TO BETTER SERVE YOU.
34:35BUT THEN THAT DATA IS SOLD TO
34:37BROKERS WHICH COULD REACH THE
34:39GOVERNMENT AND EVEN INVESTIGATORS.
34:41THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS EVERY TIME
34:43YOU MASTURBATE, UNLESS YOU'RE
34:46USING ONLY YOUR IMAGINATION AND
34:48DOING IT ANALOG.
34:50YOU'RE GOING OFF THE GRID, SO
34:54TO SPEAK.
34:55THERE'S NO, THIS IS.
34:59I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THAT.
35:02I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THAT.
35:05EVERYTHING YOU LOOK UP ON YOUR
35:07PHONE, THIS IS JUST THE TIP OF
35:09IT.
35:10NOT THE SAME TIP OF IT.
35:12JUST THE TIP OF IT?
35:14YEAH, IT'S JUST THE TIP OF IT.
35:16THAT'S DISCUSSION.
35:17YOU KNOW, THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW.
35:19GOT ME THREE KIDS.
35:21ALL RIGHT, TYRUS.
35:23ARE YOU CONCERNED?
35:24NO, I DON'T.
35:25I'M A LARGE BLACK MAN.
35:27I NEVER NEEDED TOYS.
35:30I DON'T EVEN.
35:31I DON'T EVEN.
35:32I DON'T EVEN.
35:33I DON'T EVEN.
35:34I DON'T EVEN.
35:35I DON'T EVEN.
35:36I DON'T EVEN.
35:37I HAVE KIDS.
35:38HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT?
35:39YES.
35:40DON'T TOUCH DADDY'S TOY.
35:41IT'S DOWNLOADING.
35:42I'M SORRY.
35:43I JUST, YOU KNOW, I JUST NEVER
35:45TOYS FOR DUDES.
35:46YEAH.
35:47ARE THERE TOYS FOR DUDES?
35:48YEAH.
35:49I DON'T KNOW EITHER.
35:50THE WRONG HIM.
35:52I MEAN, ANYONE.
35:53WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT, PEOPLE?
35:55I MEAN, WE, YEAH.
35:57YEAH.
35:58I MEAN, THAT'S, YEAH.
36:00GOD GAVE US A SPARE.
36:01YEAH.
36:02WHAT IS THE ONE IF YOU SIT ON IT
36:04AND MAKE IT FALL ASLEEP.
36:05YOU DON'T EVEN NEED BATTERIES.
36:06IF YOU SLIT ON IT AND MAKE IT
36:08FALL ASLEEP, YOUR HANDS A
36:09STRANGER OR SOMETHING.
36:10JESUS.
36:11I MEAN, I'M JUST SAYING.
36:12BUT NO ONE, HE'S LIKE, YEAH.
36:14YEAH.
36:15YEAH.
36:16TYRUS.
36:17TYRUS.
36:18TYRUS.
36:19TYRUS.
36:20EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU JUST USE A
36:21RUBBER BAND.
36:22ALL RIGHT.
36:24THINK ABOUT IT.
36:25THINK ABOUT IT.
36:26YOU'LL GET IT.
36:27BRIANA.
36:28HAVE I TALKED TO EVERYBODY?
36:30NO.
36:31BRIANA.
36:32OH, I GOT TWO LEFT.
36:33BRIANA.
36:34I'M OFFERING YOU A GENERIC
36:35QUESTION.
36:36THANK YOU.
36:37SHOULD WE BE CONCERNED?
36:39I WOULD SAY IF YOU'RE ONE OF
36:41THE PEOPLE WHO USE THESE DEVICES
36:42WOMEN, I WOULD BE CONCERNED FOR
36:45GOVERNMENT OVERREACH.
36:46I WOULD ALSO SAY TO KAT'S POINT,
36:48JUST DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY.
36:49AND UNFORTUNATELY, I THINK THERE'S A LOT OF YOUNG MEN THESE DAYS AND
36:51YOUNG WOMEN WHO CAN'T BECAUSE THERE'S A LONELINESS EPIDEMIC.
36:54I ACTUALLY, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I HAVE MORE TO ADD.
36:57YOU CAN DO IT THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY OR THE MEDIUM-FASHIONED WAY,
37:00WHICH IS JUST NOT WITH AN APP.
37:01THERE YOU GO.
37:02THERE YOU GO.
37:03THERE YOU GO.
37:04THERE YOU GO.
37:05THERE YOU GO.
37:06WHO DOES THIS?
37:07I'M WORRIED ABOUT GOVERNMENT OVER REACH-AROUND.
37:12THANK YOU.
37:13YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT DOING THIS TOPIC WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF THAT JOKE.
37:19IS THAT THE POINT?
37:20YES.
37:21THERE ARE TOYS GUYS CAN USE BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THE TOYS JUST ON YOURSELF.
37:25HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
37:26YOU CAN USE THE TOYS JUST ON YOURSELF.
37:28HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
37:29YOU CAN USE HANDCUFFS, BLINDFOLDS, AND YOU CAN USE YOUR HAND OVER SOMEBODY'S MOUTH.
37:34YOU'RE A KIDNAPPER?
37:35YOU'RE A KIDNAPPER, AREN'T YOU?
37:37DON'T KINK SHAME ME.
37:39SO THESE ARE OFTEN USED WITH PARTNERS.
37:42YEAH, I'M SURE.
37:44WHETHER VOLUNTARY OR OTHERWISE.
37:45YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU FIND A PARTNER, HUH?
37:48RIGHT HERE, I GOT TWO.
37:51IT'S A THREESOME.
37:52I KNEW THIS TOPIC WOULD BE A DEAD END.
37:55BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL?
37:56OH, GO AWAY.
37:57WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
38:00I LOVE YOU, AMERICA.
38:02MUAH, MUAH, MUAH.
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