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Gutfeld! 8/29/25 FULL END SHOW | ᖴO᙭ Breaking News August 29, 2025
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00:00WELL, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
00:29desk. It's Friday, so you know what that means. Let's welcome tonight's guest. In high school,
00:39he always brought your daughter home on time. I wonder why. Host of the Guy Benson Show, Guy Benson.
00:51This favorite from Red Eye will make you laugh till you cry. Comedian Dronson.
00:59Now, she's wiry and witty and from the Motor City. New York Times bestselling author and Fox News
01:05contributor, Catch In. And every morning, he has to check his shoes for old ladies.
01:15New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and MWUO champion.
01:23All right, before we get to some news stories, let's do this.
01:26It's leftovers. Well, I read the jokes we didn't use this week, and as always, it's my first time
01:36reading them, so if they suck, we'll put an apple in Joe Mackey's mouth and send them to the View's
01:42Labor Day pig roast. A billionaire just bought Rosie O'Donnell's former Florida estate for $35.3
01:49million. It has 12 bedrooms, 10 baths, and get this, the kitchen has both hot and cold running
01:56barbecue sauce. Football player Travis Kelsey is expected to retire after the 2026 NFL season.
02:07So he marries rich, then stops working. Who does he think he is, a woman?
02:11President Trump just revoked Kamala Harris's Secret Service protection, which had been secretly
02:27extended by Joe Biden. I guess it makes sense. The only shots these agents were blocking were
02:32coming from Jose Cuervo. Texas politicians are upset that one county is spending half a million
02:45dollars to host a gay softball tournament. They are also hosting a lesbian softball tournament,
02:52but it's just called a softball tournament.
02:56That's the way to go. That's the way to go, Wade.
02:59That was good. That's a good one.
03:02Florida is set to execute its record 11th person this year. Only 11? What a bunch of amateurs,
03:10said one woman.
03:14I know. I know. A pot-bellied pig was found running loose in Pennsylvania
03:19for the second time this summer. He was captured and immediately returned to CNN.
03:30Easy. Too easy. California Governor Gavin Newsom claims he's a Swifty,
03:35but he can't name one Taylor Swift song. Well, that's like saying you're in the WNBA,
03:40but you've never seen a green dildo.
03:42According to a new poll, less than 1% of Democrats are satisfied with the direction of the country
03:54under Trump compared to 76% of Republicans. That's a 75-point gap. I haven't seen a gap that wide
04:03since that Stormy Daniels film festival. Wow.
04:12There's a lot of space between the movies.
04:16Barack Obama called out Trump's crackdown on crime,
04:19saying he's worried it will target the former president's hometown.
04:23Trump reassured Obama by saying,
04:24don't worry, we're not going to invade Nairobi.
04:34Desmond Watson,
04:35the 450-pound heaviest player
04:37in NFL history,
04:40has been cut
04:41by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
04:43He will now go back to his old job
04:45as Stacey Abrams' body double.
04:47Oh.
04:51I don't, I never know.
04:54Wow.
04:56Gavin Newsom called Trump
04:57simply the most destructive individual in my lifetime.
05:02Nancy Pelosi responded saying,
05:04the most destructive individual in my lifetime
05:06is Genghis Khan.
05:13Because she's old.
05:16D.C. Mayor Bowser admits
05:18Trump's federal crime crackdown is working.
05:20In fact, the crackdown is working so well,
05:22Maxine Waters can now safely walk her wig at night.
05:30Probably should end there.
05:32And finally,
05:33the Taylor Swift engagement post on Instagram
05:36has made history
05:36for having the most likes in one day.
05:39It beat the previous record
05:40set by Rashida Tlaib
05:41announcing she bought a razor.
05:46All right.
05:47Want a mustache?
05:47So you know how important
05:52health and fitness is
05:53to a full and happy life.
05:54But like everything great,
05:55it takes effort.
05:57It's the most cause and effect phenomenon
05:59you can experience.
06:00You lift weights,
06:01muscles grow,
06:02you run laps,
06:03your heart gets stronger,
06:04you go rollerblading,
06:05you're gay.
06:09But it turns out Republicans
06:10are great at helping
06:12even their critics get into shape.
06:14For example,
06:15this week in Wisconsin,
06:16the vice president's motorcade
06:18noticed how unfit
06:19the protesters awaiting Vance were
06:22and decided to do something about it.
06:25They went the wrong way
06:26down a one-way street,
06:28causing the protesters
06:29to pick up and run.
06:31They were later hospitalized
06:59for exhaustion.
07:02Of course,
07:03this isn't new.
07:04Trump's been getting the media
07:05to run after him for years.
07:24And he wasn't even there.
07:25But this shows how deeply
07:29the White House cares about fitness.
07:31And earlier this month,
07:32they gave us probably
07:33the greatest fitness expo ever.
07:36Well, the second greatest
07:37after Michelle pressed Obama
07:38over her head for 10 reps.
07:41I'm talking about Pete Hegseth
07:42and RFK Jr.'s challenge
07:44to do 50 pull-ups
07:45and 100 push-ups in 10 minutes.
07:47The point was to inspire Americans
07:49to stop treating their bodies
07:50the way Jasmine Crockett
07:52treats grammar.
07:52But like stretch marks
07:57on Joy Behar's ass,
07:59the media reared its flabby head
08:02to bash it.
08:03And why?
08:04Because it's another situation
08:06where whatever Trump promotes
08:07must be evil.
08:08In this case, exercise.
08:10Check out this New York Times
08:11headline from this week.
08:13Quote,
08:13100 push-ups and 50 pull-ups
08:15in under 10 minutes?
08:16What could go wrong?
08:18Fitness experts caution
08:19against jumping
08:20into a difficult routine
08:21suggested by RFK
08:23and Pete Hegseth.
08:25Now, you can spot
08:25a reverse-engineered story
08:27a mile away.
08:28The writer began
08:29with a headline
08:30that called in
08:31a bunch of quotes
08:32to fit his preconceived conclusion.
08:34One expert complied
08:36by saying,
08:36pushing for such high numbers
08:38without the necessary
08:39strength foundation
08:40could quickly lead
08:41to poor form,
08:43overcompensation,
08:44and a high risk of injury.
08:46We'll talk about
08:46a Debbie Downer on steroids.
08:49I'm surprised
08:49they didn't point out
08:50how exercise elevates
08:51the risk of getting fondled
08:52by John Travolta
08:53in his steam room.
08:56And it can.
08:57Now, of course,
08:58no beginner is going to tackle
08:59military-level fitness
09:01on day one.
09:02But here's how you can be certain
09:04this one is an anti-Trump piece.
09:06Just compare it
09:07to these other recent
09:08Times headlines.
09:09Want to level up
09:11your mobility?
09:12Add weight.
09:13Find your next
09:14favorite workout.
09:15How exercise
09:16fights anxiety
09:17and depression.
09:18But see,
09:19when Trump enters the gym,
09:20suddenly having exercise goals
09:21is the new fascism.
09:24Hell,
09:24if Trump tweeted,
09:25practice good oral hygiene,
09:27the Times would declare
09:28that pursuing white teeth
09:30is inherently racist.
09:32Why do they got to be white?
09:34Why do they have to be white?
09:36Because anything
09:37Trump advocates,
09:39whether it's border security,
09:40crime prevention,
09:41and now apparently exercise,
09:42gets trashed
09:43faster than Peter Dinklage
09:45on St. Patrick's Day.
09:50And yet,
09:51this anti-exercise mentality
09:53seemed to be missing
09:54when the Times'
09:56favorite socialists
09:57attempt to bench press
09:58half his weight.
10:00I've seen bigger muscles
10:01at Red Lobster.
10:02Now,
10:05you'd think the Times
10:05would caution him
10:06against biting off
10:07more than he can chew,
10:08but he's not Trump.
10:10He's just a lightweight
10:11who can't lift lightweights.
10:13And the only dumbbells
10:15in his life
10:15are his campaign staff.
10:17Now,
10:18eventually,
10:18you'd think the media
10:19would stop turning
10:19every Trump-endorsed idea
10:21into a supervillain plot.
10:23But then they'd have to admit
10:24Trump's wins for America
10:26aren't the enemy
10:27lazy reporting is.
10:29But for now,
10:29the only thing
10:30they exercise
10:31is bad judgment.
10:41Guy,
10:42just to let people know,
10:45you did used to work out,
10:46right?
10:47I do.
10:48I use my Peloton.
10:49Yes, you do?
10:50Yeah, I know you do too.
10:51Yeah.
10:51You're very fitness conscious,
10:53I've heard.
10:54You rollerblade
10:55to work every day.
10:56Do I?
10:59Or is that just
11:00in your dream?
11:02Should I leave?
11:04I already left.
11:05Yes.
11:06Don't you find it funny
11:07that the New York Times
11:08felt compelled
11:09to write a story
11:10telling you
11:11not to dive right
11:12into exercise?
11:14That was the whole
11:15point of the story.
11:17When I saw the headline,
11:18I actually wondered,
11:19did Mom Donnie
11:20write this?
11:20Yeah.
11:21Was the byline his
11:22because of that
11:23bench press misadventure
11:24that he had?
11:25Speaking of bench pressing,
11:26because we were thinking
11:27about this topic
11:28before the show,
11:29could you bench press,
11:32Greg?
11:33For legal reasons,
11:34no.
11:37The courts.
11:38The courts.
11:39Yeah.
11:40Theoretically.
11:41Theoretically?
11:42He needs to be
11:43completely tied up
11:44and blindfolded,
11:46and then I would do it,
11:47but yeah,
11:47I could.
11:48Not that again.
11:48It's like your birthday.
11:54It is exactly
11:55like my birthday.
11:57He's like,
11:57don't worry,
11:58I have the handcuffs
11:59and the ball,
11:59don't worry about it.
12:00Not a blindfold,
12:01oh no.
12:03All right,
12:03I'm going to move on
12:04from you, Guy,
12:05because you're no help
12:05whatsoever.
12:06Sherrod.
12:07Yes.
12:07Are you inspired
12:08by this renewed
12:09call for fitness?
12:11I mean,
12:11I think it's a good look,
12:12but saying it is one thing.
12:14Do we have to see them
12:15actually doing the exercises?
12:17No.
12:17It's like when you go home
12:18for a holiday
12:19and your drunk uncle's
12:20like this,
12:20I bet you I can do
12:21more push-ups than you.
12:23It's like,
12:23I don't want to see this
12:24when you throw your back out
12:25and then I got to
12:25steal your wallet.
12:30It's too much.
12:31I hope this don't
12:31replace health care.
12:34It's like,
12:35hey,
12:35I broke my leg.
12:36It's like,
12:36just do some jogging
12:37and you'll be fine.
12:39Pour some Robitussin on it.
12:43Let that Tussin
12:44soak in a bone.
12:45You'll be okay.
12:45I want to see a doctor.
12:49But it is true.
12:50Preventive health
12:51is important.
12:52You know,
12:52if you work out,
12:53you might have
12:53a reduced risk
12:55of getting sick.
12:56Yes,
12:57that's what they used
12:57to tell me in prison.
13:00Oh,
13:00the yard.
13:03Kat,
13:04do you think
13:04the Times hates this
13:06because it actually works
13:08and they like,
13:09they prefer just
13:11to have words
13:12and not deeds?
13:14No,
13:15I don't think
13:15it's that calculated.
13:16Yeah.
13:17I think it's just
13:18a thing they wrote.
13:19It's obviously
13:19it's a good idea
13:20to be cautious
13:21for your workout,
13:22but I feel like
13:22most people
13:23probably know
13:24their limits.
13:25And if you're
13:26not a person
13:27who knows
13:28your limits,
13:28then there is
13:30not a thing
13:30in life
13:31that will not
13:31be dangerous
13:32for you.
13:33Yeah.
13:34Anything,
13:35right?
13:36This,
13:37I wouldn't attempt
13:37this.
13:38I would not
13:38attempt this
13:39because,
13:40like,
13:41I could die.
13:46But I know
13:47that,
13:48right?
13:48Because I'm an adult
13:49and I have
13:50a basic competence,
13:52which is how
13:52I'm still alive.
13:54Yes.
13:55You know,
13:56Tyrus,
13:56the rule of thumb
13:57is if you want
13:58the media
13:58to criticize
13:59something,
14:00something.
14:00That's a good one.
14:01You know what
14:01that really means?
14:02What?
14:03Your rule of thumb
14:03means.
14:04Oh,
14:04yeah,
14:04that's an old
14:05wives' tale.
14:06Oh,
14:06it is about
14:06wives.
14:07It used to be
14:07if your wife
14:09was a smart
14:09mouth,
14:10you had a stick
14:11as long as
14:12it's as thick
14:12as your thumb,
14:13you could
14:13whoop her for it.
14:14Whoop her with it.
14:14Yeah.
14:15It wasn't my rule.
14:16No.
14:17But if you want
14:18the media
14:18to criticize
14:19something,
14:20just make sure
14:21Trump is for it.
14:22Yeah,
14:22but they did it
14:23clever to where
14:24the media
14:25takes the bait
14:26once again.
14:27It's a challenge,
14:29which means
14:29you do your best.
14:30Yeah.
14:31And here's
14:31the other thing.
14:32They picked
14:33the two push-ups
14:34and chin-ups
14:35or pull-ups
14:36are the two
14:37exercises that
14:38when your body
14:39doesn't want to
14:39do it anymore,
14:40you're not going
14:41to do it anymore.
14:41Yeah.
14:42No matter how much
14:42you yell and scream,
14:44your arms are like,
14:45we're good.
14:46We're done.
14:47Push-ups,
14:48then you can nap.
14:51You know what I'm
14:52saying?
14:52It's a challenge
14:53to put something
14:56in place for someone
14:57to be like,
14:57hey,
14:58I tried a challenge,
14:59I got 10 push-ups
15:00in and a half
15:01a pull-up
15:02the first week.
15:03And then I came
15:03back the second week
15:04and I got 15 push-ups
15:06and one full chance.
15:07And it builds
15:08and confidence builds,
15:09but you also find
15:10the other things build.
15:11The idea is
15:12to get people
15:13off the couch.
15:14To get people
15:15the only thing
15:16that they're pushing up
15:16is when they're
15:17ordering their food
15:18on their phone
15:19because they won't
15:19even get out
15:20of their house
15:20to walk and go
15:21shopping anymore.
15:22So you want people
15:23to be physically
15:24more active
15:24because their lives
15:25are better for it.
15:27Sitting around
15:27in front of the phone
15:28all day is not good
15:28for anybody.
15:29And of course,
15:30the media,
15:30because it came
15:31from Trump's side,
15:33it's like,
15:33whoa, hey,
15:33be careful.
15:34You don't want
15:35to get in shape
15:36because you might
15:37start paying attention
15:37to other s*** around you.
15:39Yes.
15:40Also,
15:40it does teach you
15:41about cause and effect.
15:42Yeah.
15:42Like that,
15:43like if you actually
15:44do work,
15:44you'll get something
15:45good out of it.
15:46And that goes against
15:47just about every
15:48kind of left-wing idea.
15:49But Pete and Bobby,
15:50they both know
15:51they're doing testosterone.
15:52Yeah.
15:53Let's not pretend
15:54like that's not involved.
15:56I think RFK,
15:57definitely.
15:57Definitely.
15:58No question about it.
15:58Yeah, yeah.
15:59Well, you get an extra
16:00testosterone lift
16:01by working out on jeans.
16:02Everybody knows that.
16:02Yeah, that is true.
16:04Yeah.
16:05All right.
16:06Go to jeans.
16:06We must move on.
16:07Up next,
16:08Gavin's Feisty Fingers.
16:10Gavin's Feisty Fingers.
16:16Phony.
16:18Phony.
16:20I'm totally weird.
16:22Gavin's hands.
16:23It's time for Gavin's hands.
16:27This greasy Berman
16:29can't keep his hands
16:32from squirming.
16:33If you've been watching
16:34this show,
16:34and I know you have,
16:35you know we were the first
16:36to call out Gavin's
16:37bizarre hand movements.
16:39Remember this classic?
16:41Conditions that determine
16:42our fading future.
16:44And that fundamental notion
16:45of agency I think
16:46is important more broadly.
16:47And I think that goes
16:48to some of the issues
16:49around, you know,
16:50victimization.
16:51And I see a lot of that
16:52respectively on the right
16:54increasingly,
16:55even with Trump
16:56often approaching things
16:58from that sort of mindset.
17:00Mmm.
17:02Then even Trump
17:03couldn't help but notice.
17:05Gavin,
17:06I know him very well.
17:07He's incompetent.
17:08He's a nice guy,
17:09looks good.
17:10Hi, everybody.
17:10How you doing?
17:11He's got some strange
17:12hand action going.
17:13I don't know what
17:13the hell his problem is.
17:15It's a little weird,
17:16to be honest.
17:17There's a little
17:18something shaky
17:18going on there.
17:27And yet earlier this week,
17:28Gavin unleashed his
17:29inner ten-fingered freak.
17:32I came into that
17:33recall campaign
17:34still arguing that
17:35all politics is local.
17:38I still had a romantic
17:39notion of that.
17:40I intellectualized
17:41that a lot of our politics
17:42and the discourse
17:43was national.
17:44I didn't fully appreciate
17:45how nationalized
17:46our politics have become.
17:48In so many ways,
17:49that shape-shifted
17:51a lot of what we're doing
17:52and who I am today.
17:54But this last year,
17:56these last six,
17:57seven months,
17:58this is something
17:59altogether different.
18:00It's like he's
18:02molesting a ghost.
18:03But apparently,
18:05our commentary
18:06on his hands
18:07have gotten inside
18:07his head
18:08and Gavin now
18:09is desperately trying
18:10to control himself
18:10in public.
18:11During a recent
18:12press conference,
18:13he really struggled
18:14to keep his hands still.
18:15Do you believe
18:17that crime is a problem
18:18in California or not?
18:20Well,
18:21it's a curious question.
18:25I made the entire point
18:26that crime's an issue
18:28and we want to tackle it.
18:29And we continue to do
18:30more in that space.
18:32And we announced
18:33and highlighted
18:33some of the expansion,
18:35what is not contradictory,
18:36respectfully.
18:37We're not talking
18:38about the nationalization,
18:39the militarization
18:40of the Guard
18:42and militarizing
18:43United States cities.
18:45So,
18:45quite the contrary.
18:47Poor guy.
18:48I want you to watch again
18:50as his errant thumb
18:51valiantly,
18:53violently
18:54resists.
18:57Needs to get out.
18:59It needs to get out.
19:01It's trapped
19:02his poor little thumb.
19:03I haven't seen a finger
19:04that excited
19:05since my last prostate exam.
19:09Little tip.
19:10A little Maybelline
19:11shows that you care.
19:16Sherrod,
19:16what is going on here?
19:18Does he have
19:18some kind of condition?
19:20It's weird.
19:20It's weird.
19:21It's like,
19:21just use your words, man.
19:22You ain't gonna talk
19:23like you're a third base coach.
19:25Like you're telling me
19:26to steal or bunt.
19:27Like if somebody
19:28talked to you like that
19:29on the subway,
19:30as soon as they walk away,
19:30you're like,
19:31I think you got my watch.
19:32Yes.
19:33I think you just
19:34took my watch.
19:35Well,
19:36it's a good point.
19:37It is kind of
19:38a deflection strategy
19:39because you're not
19:40really listening,
19:41you're looking at his hands.
19:42Right.
19:42If somebody goes like this,
19:43hey, man,
19:43how's the wife?
19:47Like,
19:47I don't know
19:48what to do with you, man.
19:51Kat,
19:52do you think
19:52it's some kind of
19:52side effect?
19:53Maybe he's on
19:54some kind of
19:55like medication
19:56that makes him excitable.
19:57Or he's not
19:58on medication.
19:59No,
19:59that's true.
20:00Need to be.
20:00Yeah,
20:00I talk with my hands
20:01a lot, too.
20:02I think my hands
20:02are always doing weird stuff.
20:03And I'm not on medication,
20:05not to brag.
20:06But I never noticed
20:07it before, actually.
20:08I really never
20:09noticed it before this.
20:11I'm always so distracted
20:12by how good his hair looks.
20:14I don't like
20:14see the rest of him.
20:15I got other problems
20:16with the guy,
20:16like his policies.
20:17His hands,
20:18no,
20:18his wife has probably
20:19had some problems
20:19with some things
20:20his hands have done.
20:21Yeah.
20:21But I have not,
20:23personally.
20:23See, look,
20:24I'm doing it, too.
20:25And I'm not going
20:25to get self-conscious
20:26because it's okay
20:27to be expressive
20:27with your hands.
20:28Yeah,
20:28his hands are just
20:29weird, though, Tyrus.
20:30They're always
20:31doing funky things.
20:32Yeah,
20:32I thought it had
20:32something to do
20:33with the California,
20:34like,
20:34budget cuts and stuff
20:35since they didn't have
20:36a hearing-impaired
20:37transition there anymore.
20:40I'm not paying money
20:41for that.
20:41I'll do it myself.
20:43So, you know.
20:44A little bit of bubble.
20:45Yeah.
20:52Nice.
20:54Could you imagine
20:55if you were the sign
20:56person for the TV
20:57going,
20:57the f*** is that?
21:03No, he was,
21:03he reminds me there
21:05of, remember the guy
21:06who did the sign language
21:07at Mandela's funeral?
21:08Oh, he was amazing.
21:09He was a fake
21:09just doing all
21:10this weird stuff.
21:11That's Newsom.
21:12He's, like,
21:13making it up
21:13as he goes along.
21:15Do you have any advice?
21:16You know what's
21:16interesting about him?
21:17I have maintained
21:18that Gavin Newsom
21:20has the easiest job
21:21of all politicians
21:23because California
21:24is a beautiful state.
21:25Yeah.
21:25At its baseline,
21:27people will stay there
21:28for the weather
21:28and the scenic elements.
21:30So they'll put up
21:31with anything
21:32and they'll put up
21:33even with a governor
21:33who doesn't do s***.
21:35He has no,
21:36like, it's amazing.
21:36He has all these gifts.
21:38He's good looking.
21:38He's got great hair.
21:40He's glib.
21:41But he has no achievements.
21:44Well, he has achievements.
21:45They're just really bad,
21:46right?
21:46Yeah.
21:46So that's what he's
21:47trying to distract us from.
21:48Maybe with all the hand motions,
21:49like, hey, look over here
21:50as opposed to at my state
21:52and what I've done to it.
21:53I wonder in the clip
21:54that we played of him
21:55with the hands pressed together
21:57on the desk,
21:58were they superglued by staff?
21:59Yes.
22:00Did they do that on purpose?
22:02Because he's had
22:03this whole weird thing
22:04he's been doing recently
22:04where he's trying
22:05to impersonate Trump
22:06for laughs
22:07and it doesn't really work.
22:08It's very odd.
22:09If he wants to take
22:10that a step further,
22:11he can start doing
22:12the Trump hand gestures,
22:14right?
22:14Some of this.
22:15Yes.
22:15A little less like,
22:16you're going to start
22:17using your hands like this?
22:18Yeah.
22:19That would be a more
22:19productive use
22:20than whatever the hell
22:21he's been doing.
22:21That is very,
22:22when he does that,
22:22it's very soothing.
22:24Why is that soothing?
22:25Like, it's like,
22:26it's like,
22:26it's like a long.
22:27It's very controlled.
22:28Yeah, it's very controlled.
22:29It's like somebody,
22:30it's like, you know,
22:31ooh, like,
22:32we're going to put it
22:33in a box.
22:34We're going to put
22:34all the aliens in a box.
22:36But his hand gestures
22:37match the words
22:39coming out of his mouth.
22:40Right.
22:40If the president was like,
22:41we want peace
22:42in the Middle East.
22:43You know what I'm saying?
22:46You would be like,
22:46what the hell?
22:49That's it.
22:51That it is.
22:52It's the contrast.
22:53Yeah, like,
22:54Gavin, his hands
22:54are aggressive.
22:55You know?
22:55Yeah.
22:56We've had a lot of theories.
22:57One, it was a bad negotiation
22:58with a deaf hooker.
23:00Now he doesn't want
23:01to pay for,
23:01you know?
23:04Do you have a problem
23:05with deaf hookers?
23:06He does,
23:07because the deal
23:08went south.
23:09It's called
23:10the Helen Kellan special.
23:13Nobody reads.
23:15All right,
23:15let's move on.
23:16Up next,
23:17Carville loses it.
23:28The Lizard Speaks!
23:38Carville,
23:39once again,
23:40trashes Dems.
23:41understand this.
23:43The DNC
23:44does not exist
23:45to right wrongs.
23:48It doesn't exist
23:49to acknowledge
23:50the more unpleasant
23:51parts of history.
23:53It doesn't exist
23:54to make people
23:55feel good.
23:56It exists,
23:57get this through your head,
23:59to win elections.
24:01Now,
24:01do you think
24:02that is going to help us
24:03win elections
24:05by
24:06talking about
24:07land theft
24:08from the Dakotas?
24:10We're not.
24:11What is Ken Martin
24:12doing doing that?
24:14You don't have
24:14but one job,
24:15Ken.
24:16It's to win.
24:17You're supposed
24:18to try to win
24:18f***ing elections.
24:21You know,
24:22Kat,
24:22I love listening
24:23to him
24:24without seeing him.
24:25I don't know why.
24:27It's just easier
24:27to understand.
24:28Because his camera
24:29setup is always confusing
24:30because of how bad it is.
24:31But that was at,
24:32he was talking
24:33about the DNC
24:34summer conference.
24:35They began
24:36the conference
24:37with this
24:37woke statement
24:38acknowledging
24:40that the land
24:40they were meeting
24:41at was like
24:42stolen from
24:42Native Americans.
24:44Oh,
24:45yeah.
24:46Does that matter?
24:47So,
24:48well,
24:48they basically
24:49began the conference
24:50by trying to make
24:52everyone feel bad
24:53for being there.
24:54Yes.
24:55Which I don't,
24:56yeah,
24:56I don't think
24:57that's the best way
24:58to start anything
25:00that you want people
25:02to be happy
25:03to be a part of.
25:04Yes.
25:05And I think
25:06that that is
25:06why the Democrats
25:08have been not
25:09as popular
25:10is because
25:10you are so afraid
25:12when you're talking,
25:13you know,
25:14the segment of Democrats
25:15that's like this.
25:16When you're talking
25:17around them,
25:18you're so afraid
25:18that you're going
25:19to accidentally
25:20say something
25:21that they can't
25:22wait to pounce on
25:23and be like,
25:23well,
25:24actually,
25:24that's offensive
25:25because da-da-da-da-da.
25:26And you don't want,
25:28you're not going
25:28to be comfortable.
25:29You're not going
25:29to be comfortable
25:29to be in a situation
25:30where people want
25:31to make you feel bad.
25:33That's like throwing
25:34a surprise party
25:35and when the person
25:36shows up saying,
25:36ah,
25:37one year closer to death.
25:38No,
25:38no,
25:38it's not.
25:39No,
25:40it's not.
25:40It's like a surprise party
25:41and the person
25:41shows up and goes,
25:42good thing you're still here.
25:42A lot of other people died.
25:44Yeah.
25:45Like a lot of other people
25:45aren't here
25:46because they died.
25:48With your stolen birthday tape.
25:49But you're still here.
25:50Yes.
25:51Right.
25:51You know,
25:52it's funny because,
25:53Tyrus,
25:54this symbolic action
25:56leads to not real action.
25:58It's like,
25:58it's like if they actually
26:00believed in what
26:01they were doing,
26:01they would all have to,
26:02they should get up and leave.
26:03This is what happens
26:04when you don't have votes
26:06for who gets to be
26:07in the groups.
26:08Yeah.
26:08This is just whoever
26:09was closest to it
26:10got to be in charge
26:11and they're like,
26:12okay,
26:12let's start the meeting
26:13with acknowledgements
26:14and you're like,
26:15ugh.
26:16America's not like,
26:18Indian,
26:19we're on stolen land.
26:22You don't even have a plan
26:23how to give it back.
26:24Yeah.
26:25You know what I'm saying?
26:25They don't even look
26:26at history.
26:26The negotiations were made.
26:28It's like they forget,
26:30everyone forgets
26:30that everyone is standing
26:32on somebody else's land
26:33at some time or another.
26:35Yeah.
26:35For whatever reason,
26:36the way human beings work,
26:38if it's less than 100,
26:39we get along great,
26:40there's no problems.
26:41As soon as we get 101,
26:43we start to f*** it up.
26:44Yeah.
26:45And then worse,
26:46if we get 101
26:47in our little camp
26:49and we notice
26:49the corner of the audience
26:50over there only has 75,
26:52we conquer them.
26:53Yeah.
26:54And we take their s***.
26:55That's how people,
26:56that's how human beings work.
26:57Yeah.
26:58So when you're on top,
26:59you just sound like an idiot.
27:00We're on stolen land.
27:02So?
27:03Yeah.
27:03And what else?
27:04They don't have anything,
27:06but until they get rid
27:07of this group of people,
27:09they have to clean house.
27:10You have to be like,
27:12no,
27:12you can't,
27:13you have to find another way.
27:15I don't know
27:15if they're willing to do it.
27:15The only thing I like
27:16what they're doing
27:17is they're slowly taking
27:18Carville's airtime privileges
27:21away from them.
27:21This time,
27:22they took the camera away.
27:23Yes.
27:23Yeah.
27:23Next time,
27:26they're going to distort his voice.
27:27Yes.
27:28And then eventually,
27:28it's going to be
27:29an old handwritten letter
27:30in cursive delivered
27:32by a dove from his lair
27:35in Louisiana.
27:37Yeah,
27:37you know,
27:38Sherrod,
27:38when you do a stand-up show,
27:40do you acknowledge the land
27:42that that comedy club sits on?
27:43Yes,
27:44I usually start off like this.
27:45Hey,
27:45good night,
27:46gentrifiers.
27:48Get my grandmother
27:49a house back.
27:51I'm glad they took the Carville.
27:53Oh, God bless him,
27:54but every time I see his image
27:55on the TV,
27:56I think it's a Geico commercial.
27:57Yeah.
28:03He's a gecko.
28:06He's got a gecko face.
28:08Yeah,
28:08but that gecko
28:09is speaking some real sense,
28:11Sherrod.
28:11I mean,
28:12yeah,
28:12we know a stolen land
28:13and this is coming
28:14from a stolen person.
28:18Huh?
28:18You got quiet on that one.
28:21You got quiet on that one,
28:22crowd.
28:24They're getting better.
28:25I'm working on them.
28:26Loosen them up.
28:27Yeah.
28:28Guy.
28:28The time they watch.
28:30Sherrod makes a good point.
28:31Every,
28:31every,
28:32every land was previously
28:33like owned
28:35or operated
28:35by somebody else.
28:36Yeah,
28:37and with Tyrus's point,
28:39this was the Democratic Party's meeting
28:41in a city
28:42completely run by Democrats,
28:43in a state
28:44completely run by Democrats.
28:45Could they not have opened
28:46with the acknowledgement
28:47and then said,
28:47we hereby give it back,
28:49gavel,
28:49meeting adjourned?
28:50Yeah.
28:51No,
28:51they didn't do that
28:52because it meant
28:52absolutely nothing.
28:54Now,
28:54I understand why Carville's
28:55really been out of shape
28:56about this
28:56because it's personal to him
28:58because when his species
28:59returns to Earth
29:00and they take it back from us,
29:03are humans going to get
29:04a land acknowledgement?
29:05I don't think so.
29:06Yes,
29:06yes.
29:10Well done.
29:12All right.
29:14Let's exit on a high note.
29:15Coming up,
29:16Neil Young
29:17has lost it.
29:26A story in five words.
29:33Neil's new song.
29:35Rips Trump.
29:36No more green again.
29:39A big crime in D.C.
29:42At the White House.
29:45Don't need no fascist rules.
29:48Don't want no fascist schools.
29:50No one's old.
29:52There's walking on our street.
29:56A big crime in D.C.
29:58At the White House.
30:01Tyrus.
30:03Get this.
30:03That's Neil Young's new song.
30:05It's called Big Crime.
30:07And it was released yesterday.
30:09And it says that the real crime
30:11is happening at the White House
30:12and that we don't need
30:13a fascist leader like Trump.
30:16And he says,
30:17don't want soldiers on our streets.
30:18What do you think of the lyrics?
30:19Here's the thing.
30:25If you're going to write a song
30:26about something that's historically bad,
30:31you have to have the historically bad part in it.
30:34Like, what's the next verse?
30:37He brought in the army
30:39and he made the streets safe.
30:42Oh my God, I can't stand this man.
30:47Then after the streets were safe,
30:49this orange haired son of a bitch
30:51brought businesses back to the hood.
30:53And now my uncle isn't selling drugs.
30:57He's a plumber and doing very well.
30:59Just bought his old truck.
31:06My wife took me back
31:08because I'm not drinking and robbing anymore
31:10in the hood.
31:11That's a great protest song.
31:16I wouldn't listen to that.
31:17I'm just saying, like,
31:18where's the beef, yo?
31:21But you know, it's, Guy,
31:23it's an interesting point that like,
31:25in this, like, there's nothing from TDS
31:29that has inspired creative art.
31:32It's like these people feel really strong,
31:33but it's not like they're producing something
31:36that's like, wow, that's amazing.
31:38Like the 60s or the 70s
31:40might have done.
31:41This is like, it's more like tantrums.
31:43Well, speaking of the 70s,
31:45I finally understand why
31:47Leonard Skinner was clowning on this guy
31:4911 years before I was born
31:51in Sweet Home, Alabama.
31:53I finally get that.
31:54I feel like having listened to
31:56that clip of the song
31:57for the very first time sitting here,
31:58they might have rushed it to market.
32:01I'm not sure they went through
32:02the entire creative process
32:04and let it really play out
32:06because that seemed like a,
32:07we have to put a song out tomorrow
32:08about how much we hate Trump.
32:10And they just sort of farted that out.
32:12Yes.
32:13Yeah.
32:14Yeah.
32:15What do you think, Sherrod?
32:17I mean, it's no Bob Dylan.
32:20It's not Dylan-ish, but, uh...
32:22Dylan Mulvaney-ish.
32:23It could have had a little more jazz.
32:26I mean, I remember when, uh,
32:27Neil Young was in a band
32:29with Rick James.
32:30Remember that?
32:30Yep.
32:31Up in Canada.
32:32Really?
32:32When Rick was running away from,
32:34you know, his draft.
32:35He knows what I'm talking about.
32:36Yeah.
32:37The crowd, get home and Google.
32:39I'm right.
32:40But it's just, it wasn't,
32:41it didn't catch you like that.
32:43You wanted to hit you in your face
32:44and really get you, like,
32:45ready to protest or march
32:46or make a difference.
32:48But this was just like...
32:49Puts you to sleep.
32:50It was like elevator music.
32:51Yeah.
32:52A grain elevator.
32:56Grain?
32:56Grain elevator.
32:58Gotta be in the Midwest for that one.
33:00Look, Google it.
33:01Yeah, that's a white people joke.
33:04Touche.
33:05Kat, don't you think that maybe,
33:07like, he could have put
33:08a little bit more work into it?
33:11He could have, but why?
33:12He's so rich.
33:13I mean, but it just seems so...
33:16It doesn't make sense to me, right?
33:17Because if you're, like,
33:18an anti-draconian guy,
33:19why were you, like,
33:20so pro-COVID restrictions?
33:23Remember that?
33:23Oh, he was way over the top.
33:25He was way over the top with that.
33:26And now you want to try
33:27to talk to people about this?
33:29Like, you actually stand for that?
33:30No, you don't.
33:31You do not.
33:32I'm like, wasn't...
33:33I'm like, weren't you the guy who...
33:35Did he actually have his music
33:36taken off Spotify
33:37or wanted it to take it off Spotify?
33:39Because it was the same platform
33:41where Joe Rogan was having conversations
33:43outside of the government
33:44sanctioned narrative on COVID?
33:46Really?
33:47So now you want to be like,
33:48oh, I'm Mr.
33:50Oh, I don't want the government overreach.
33:52Not going to stand for that.
33:53It's like, no,
33:53you just don't like Donald Trump.
33:55That's what this is about.
33:56Yeah.
33:56And that is why
33:57you can't get anything creative out of it.
33:59It's like, it's not a principle.
34:00It's a personality thing.
34:02In his case, for sure.
34:03To have a great song,
34:04you have to have an event.
34:06You have to have something...
34:07You have to have a villain
34:08in the story.
34:10But with all the...
34:10We hate Trump.
34:12Okay, what'd he do?
34:14Mm-hmm.
34:14He did some things.
34:16Like what?
34:17The Russians?
34:18No.
34:20He's...
34:20Shut up!
34:21He's racist.
34:22Like...
34:22Yeah.
34:24All right.
34:26Up next,
34:28viewer mail.
34:28Yeah!
34:39Yep.
34:41You're watching
34:42Mailing It In.
34:43Yeah!
34:44Yeah!
34:44Yeah!
34:44Yeah!
34:45Yeah!
34:45Yeah!
34:45Yeah!
34:45Yeah!
34:46This is such a great question.
34:48What would cause you
34:49to change
34:50to a different restaurant table
34:52or airline seat?
34:54The check.
34:59When's the check come,
35:00I'm out.
35:02What if you were on an airline?
35:03What would you...
35:04Because, like,
35:04it's hard to move.
35:06Right.
35:07So what would make you move?
35:08Um, somebody's saying
35:10something about bombs?
35:14I don't think moving seats
35:15would help.
35:16Moving seats, yeah.
35:17A baby crying?
35:18Yeah, a baby crying, maybe.
35:20How about you, Guy?
35:21You're pretty even-keeled.
35:23Nothing really gets you down.
35:25That's true.
35:26I think on an airplane,
35:28it's too late.
35:29Yeah, you can't.
35:29Once you've been seated,
35:31you can't go anywhere.
35:32And by the time you realize
35:33you might need to change seats,
35:34like if someone is
35:35intrusively chatty,
35:37you're stuck.
35:37You can't go, like,
35:38maybe you can go to the lavatory
35:39and never come back.
35:40What if it's somebody
35:40who takes off their shoes and socks
35:44and they have these huge bunions
35:46and they have, like, a little, like,
35:50thing that they're picking their bunions
35:52and they're flicking it.
35:54This is very specific.
35:55Yes.
35:56They're flicking it over to your side.
35:59If it's first class,
36:00I'm gonna tolerate it.
36:03I ain't going to coach for that.
36:05What about you, Kat?
36:06Well, you can't really move
36:07on an airplane.
36:08I would say a table
36:10in a restaurant would be
36:11if I was cold
36:12or if maybe it was outside
36:13and it was too sunny
36:14and I was worried about the impact
36:15it might have on my fair Polish skin.
36:19Tyrus?
36:20Obviously.
36:20There's only one thing
36:21that makes me move
36:22from a restaurant table
36:23or a plane seat,
36:24and that's my wife.
36:28No.
36:28Because I'm just,
36:30I don't know if it's a black man
36:32that we just want to get through it.
36:33Yeah.
36:33It's fine.
36:34The table's rocking.
36:35No big deal.
36:36Yeah.
36:36Waitress has a ridiculous amount
36:37of perfume on.
36:38We'll just get through it.
36:39Right.
36:40Uh-uh.
36:41You're just gonna sit here
36:41and not do anything about it?
36:42Yeah.
36:42And you're like,
36:44oh, then you have to ask for a seat.
36:45So, fellas, you know.
36:47You know.
36:49Yeah, all the wives
36:50are looking at them.
36:50You know.
36:52We would stay.
36:53Yes.
36:53But when they say
36:54you gotta go,
36:55because here's the deal.
36:55You'd rather be rude
36:56and uncomfortable
36:57at the restaurant
36:58or the airport
36:58than that long-ass ride home
37:00while they're like,
37:00you didn't do that.
37:02Yep.
37:03Yep.
37:04Facts.
37:05Facts.
37:05All right.
37:05Here we,
37:06this is a quick question,
37:08quick answer.
37:08Have you ever took blame?
37:11Took blame?
37:11Have you ever taken blame
37:13for something you didn't do
37:15just to get it over with?
37:17My daughter.
37:18Yeah.
37:21Come on.
37:24That makes me a good guy
37:25raising this kid.
37:29Tyrus?
37:30I go back to my first answer.
37:33Kat?
37:34No, but I've definitely accepted,
37:37said I accept apologies
37:38when I'm still pissed.
37:39Tell me about it.
37:41Guy?
37:43Tyrus took my answer.
37:44It's just marriage.
37:44It's just how you keep things going.
37:46Yeah.
37:47It's got to be interesting
37:48with two guys, though, huh?
37:50It actually is much chiller,
37:51I think,
37:52than what he described.
37:55Yeah.
37:58Dude,
37:59you become a boss,
38:00this is all you do
38:00is take the blame.
38:03Really?
38:03Yes.
38:06He's a martyr.
38:07Yeah.
38:08Greg the martyr.
38:08Hey, Dave,
38:09you say yourself?
38:11These ratings go up.
38:13I get some credit.
38:14They go down.
38:15I get the blame.
38:16Yes.
38:16Hey, guys,
38:17we really stopped
38:18with all these poop jokes
38:19and raunchy stuff.
38:20Getting a lot of hate.
38:21I don't know who's doing it.
38:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:23We got an email.
38:24But we got to get to the bottom of this.
38:25And we're both sitting there going,
38:27who is in the mirror?
38:28Yeah.
38:32As soon as Greg played the martyr there,
38:37these two,
38:38Kat and Tyra's like,
38:39we are blowing out
38:40Fox News at night.
38:41We need an extra hour
38:42to respond to that.
38:45Well, unfortunately,
38:45we don't have time for that.
38:47It's all right.
38:48We can still talk about it later.
38:50Yeah.
38:50Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:51Yeah.
38:52Yeah.
38:52Yeah.
38:52Yeah.
38:52Yeah.
38:52Yeah.
38:53Yeah.
38:53Yeah.
38:53Yeah.
38:53Yeah.
38:54Yeah.
38:55Yeah.
39:01Kyrus, you have a final five.
39:03Yes, I have exciting news.
39:05My third book cover reveals
39:08coming out live here
39:08on the Gut Phil show just now
39:10with a breaking news.
39:13It's called What It Is America.
39:15And yes, the foreword
39:16is by President Donald J. Trump.
39:18So check it out.
39:19That has to be kind of weird, surreal.
39:26No, it's unbelievable.
39:27Like, I'm feeling like Booker T. Washington
39:29right now.
39:30Like, there you go.
39:30Right now with the gravity
39:32of the president of the United States,
39:33because I just sent the book to them
39:35because I talked about the interview
39:36I had with them out of respect
39:37so I wouldn't get heat from the White House.
39:39And then I get a message back
39:41going, the president decided
39:42to write you a foreword.
39:43I'm like, get the f*** out of here.
39:45It's one of the coolest things ever.
39:47Nice.
39:48All right.
39:48When can you order it?
39:50You can order it starting today,
39:51tonight, but it comes out in November.
39:53All right.
39:54Everybody order it.
39:55I love you, America.
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