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Gogglebox - Season 26 Episode 04
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Transcript
00:00Is he do one?
00:01Wah!
00:02Can Bobby do one?
00:04Wah!
00:05Can Mummy do one?
00:07Wah!
00:08Oh, God!
00:09Can Ezra do one?
00:11Wah!
00:12Wah!
00:13That was scary!
00:20Yes!
00:21Ooh!
00:22Happy days!
00:23Oh, Daniella, I like this!
00:24He's gone and done and did it!
00:25I don't trust him because he's teetotal.
00:27Oh, no!
00:28Cryptic that in there.
00:30Convoluted that.
00:31Ooh!
00:32Oh, no, no!
00:33What a waste of a muffin!
00:34Ooh!
00:35Ooh!
00:36What's that?!
00:37Unacceptable!
00:38Yeah!
00:39Ooh!
00:40Nah!
00:41What the hell?
00:42Is that it?
00:43There's not much evidence of man-boob, is there, Mary?
00:46Oh, I hate Swiss roll.
00:47Oh, no!
00:48Oh!
00:49Oh, no!
00:50Oh, he's a badger.
00:51Yes, he's a badger.
00:53Oh, man, he's got one in and one out!
00:55It's the kind of trash I adore.
00:57Was that good for you as it was for me?
01:00In the week ITV turned 70, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:07A scandal was brewing in the staff room on BBC One.
01:10You'll be able to put your side of the story across during the inquiry.
01:13I don't believe this.
01:15Because I was a supervisor, they'd always, if there was an investigation, can you take notes?
01:20Can I?
01:21I used to love it.
01:22Yeah.
01:23She's done what?
01:24And then, everything said in this room is strictly private and confidential.
01:28Straight out of the door.
01:29Of course it is!
01:30Of course it is!
01:31Straight in the brew room.
01:33She's been nicking!
01:35The Chelsea set hit the beach on E4.
01:41Thanks.
01:43Hello.
01:44Imagine having perky tits that you could wear a top like that with no brown walk down beach.
01:48I was literally just thinking that.
01:52Might have been more.
01:55And ITV news was breaking all the big stories.
01:5912.30, Sunday lunch on ITV1 and STV.
02:01Now finally this evening there is just one rule that magicians must abide by.
02:05Don't reveal your secrets.
02:06That is perhaps why a pen and teller, an act seen by millions around the world.
02:10How long was that sentence?
02:12Did you notice that?
02:13She didn't even draw a second bit of breath.
02:15The lung capacity.
02:16The lung capacity.
02:17I was waiting for some pause or something.
02:19Nothing.
02:20That's why Julie Etchingham does what she does.
02:22She's a professional man.
02:23That lung capacity man, forget it.
02:25Like a rocker, isn't she?
02:26Yeah.
02:27Do you think that before the news comes up she goes...
02:29Yeah.
02:30Yeah.
02:31In Wiltshire.
02:40By the way, if I do die Mary I want to insist on something.
02:43I don't want the Frank Sinatra sing a song I did it my way at the funeral.
02:48You didn't do it at all let alone doing it your way.
02:50No, I didn't do it.
02:52But also I don't want Bohemian Rhapsody either.
02:54No.
02:55Giles and his wife Mary.
02:57What do you want?
02:58I wish it could be Christmas Every Day by Slade.
03:01You couldn't want that.
03:03Erm.
03:04That would be so annoying.
03:07Annoying right to the last minute.
03:10On Sunday night a brand new group of brave singles were saying I'd do again on E4.
03:17They get married at first sight.
03:19It took you seven years to ask me.
03:22I don't want to make a mistake ever.
03:24Coming in.
03:25Yikes.
03:26OK, this is more comfy.
03:31I haven't seen it.
03:32No, no, have I?
03:33Just the title makes me feel.
03:34I've heard about it, yes.
03:35I thought it was ridiculous.
03:37This?
03:38The first to enter the experiment is 31 year old Sarah.
03:41See, she's getting on so she could do with getting married anyway.
03:4531's getting on?
03:47I want to be married by the time I'm 30.
03:49I usually don't get approached by men that often.
03:52I'm having too much of a good time.
03:54Oh, recruitment consultant.
03:55You know what they're like.
03:56That's a bit of you.
03:57That's a bit of you.
03:58I just love a bad boy.
04:01Oh, no.
04:02Shame.
04:04What are you looking at me for?
04:06I'm looking for a man who will cheese on me, lie to my face and call me a bitch.
04:13I really want to find a nice guy.
04:16And yeah, that somebody is just going to be my knight in shining armour.
04:19Yes.
04:20Oh, God love you.
04:21Not your usual type doll.
04:22No.
04:23But then she'll go for the usual type, shall we?
04:25I know, I know, I know.
04:27None of us learn, do we?
04:30My perfect husband would be someone who can match my energy.
04:34There we go.
04:35Oh, there he is.
04:36Is this going to be a knight in shining armour?
04:38A bit of a joker.
04:40Oh, he looks nice.
04:41I'm no expert.
04:42She don't like him.
04:43Who can have fun with me, have great sense of humour.
04:47And we're watching him laugh in slow motion to know that he's fun.
04:51If he doesn't look like what I would usually go for, it doesn't matter.
04:55I'm going to be open-minded.
04:56Will she, though?
04:57Yeah.
04:58I hope so.
05:00I've always been the cute, nice guy.
05:02Look at his dimples!
05:03Oh, the knob!
05:04My friends would describe me as a cheeky chap.
05:07Oh, he's a bad boy, all right, isn't he?
05:09Oh, yeah.
05:10I love to make sure people laugh and around me are having fun.
05:13Go on, Dean, yeah?
05:14He does seem like a nice guy.
05:16He is.
05:17He does seem like a nice guy.
05:18You could take him home to your grandma.
05:20You could.
05:21He'd be a good plus one at a party.
05:23I've been lucky enough to work in a variety of professions all based around entertainment.
05:26I started years ago as a redcoat at Butlins.
05:29He ain't got no bad boy in him at all.
05:33Like, I'm telling you, which bad boy goes to Butlins?
05:37Also a jack of all trades.
05:39I do magic.
05:40I've done puppeteering.
05:41What the hell?
05:42Oh, this is not for me.
05:43OK, he's lost me at puppet.
05:44Sorry, I'm out.
05:45I can do circus skills, singing, rapping.
05:48He is Mr. Entertainer.
05:49Isn't he?
05:50I think he is what she needs or what she thinks she wants.
05:55Yeah.
05:56But...
05:57He's not.
05:58No.
05:59He's not going to be setting your undies on fire, love.
06:00Do you know what I can say?
06:01Well, he might be as part of the magic act, but...
06:07Wedding day.
06:08Oh, God, I'm all nervous.
06:09There he is.
06:10Oh, look at him.
06:11Oh, look at the dicky bow.
06:12Oh, friends are judging already.
06:13Oh!
06:14He is definitely not Sarah's type.
06:15Yes, we know that.
06:16We know that.
06:17But she's going to be open and try something new.
06:32Oh, Yumi goes through.
06:35I know.
06:36I know.
06:37He's going to love her.
06:38He looks so beautiful in her dress.
06:39Look at that.
06:40There's the first look.
06:41What's your name?
06:42Sarah.
06:43Sarah.
06:44What's your name?
06:45My name's Dean.
06:46Dean.
06:47Oh, I don't know.
06:48Sarah seems happy as well.
06:49Just her friends don't seem happy for her.
06:50It started off good.
06:51The personality is there.
06:52I hope she's feeling the same.
06:53Oh!
06:54She can't look at her.
06:55She's not looking at her.
06:56She's not even looking at her.
06:57Oh, no.
06:58No, I don't fancy Dean.
06:59Oh, no.
07:00Oh, no.
07:01No, I don't fancy Dean.
07:02Oh, no.
07:03Oh, no.
07:04No, I don't fancy Dean.
07:05Oh, no.
07:06Oh, no.
07:07Oh, no.
07:08But you don't have to fancy.
07:09It's not all about...
07:10Oh, sorry.
07:11...more to marriage than that.
07:13Yeah.
07:14Doesn't matter about look, 30 seconds ago.
07:18Sarah, I don't know anything about you yet,
07:21but I can't wait to discover all the idiosyncrasies that make you who you are.
07:25Love that, Dean, man.
07:26The what?
07:27Endiosyncrasies.
07:28Endiosyncrasies.
07:29Endiosyncrasies.
07:30There's something I've prepared.
07:31Oh, I'm excited.
07:32Oh, God.
07:33Oh, dear.
07:34No.
07:35No.
07:36No.
07:37No.
07:38If it's magic, stop now.
07:39When I saw you in that dress today, you did more than take my breath away.
07:43Oh, no.
07:44It's a wrap.
07:45No.
07:46Fucking no.
07:47Stop.
07:48No.
07:49Stop.
07:50All my fears alleviate.
07:51I know we're gonna be okay.
07:53He's been a bad boy.
07:54Come on.
07:55What's up with you lot, man?
07:57Come on.
07:58You see, this is why man can't get it right.
08:00Why we're matched, we may not know.
08:03Trust the experts and build a hope.
08:04Oh, God.
08:05Oh, God.
08:06Like, what the hell?
08:07Are we still going?
08:09It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
08:12Everybody, sing with me.
08:15No.
08:16No.
08:17No.
08:18No.
08:19Everybody, sing with me.
08:20When I say wed, you say ding.
08:22Wed.
08:23Wed.
08:24Oh, for heaven's sake.
08:25He's just the type of person that can't be embarrassed.
08:28Like, someone could pull his pants down at the altar.
08:31Oh, yeah.
08:32He just can't be shown up.
08:33Yeah.
08:34You never know, Jane.
08:35Maybe he will grind her down and she'll start liking him.
08:40You don't really want to grind someone down for them to begin to like you, do you?
08:44Really?
08:45Well, that's always been my strategy, Jane.
08:47I don't see.
08:48I was so excited.
08:49How have you settled into the new job, the nabs?
08:55It was so strange on Monday, Tuesday.
08:59I felt like the new girl on the block.
09:01And I know it was the same office, but I just felt like it was a different place completely.
09:06Best friends, Abby and Georgia.
09:08Anyway, by the end of the week, I did build up the confidence to say to Holly, who I sit next to, do you mind if I eat me ham sandwich next to you?
09:17Oh, no.
09:18Oh, no.
09:19I'd say, yeah, go away.
09:20Bearing in mind, it's only corn ham, so it doesn't smell or anything.
09:24That's so funny.
09:25Usually, I have an egg sandwich, though.
09:27Oh, God.
09:28Well, ask Holly about that next time.
09:30And I got confident eating the egg sandwich in the finance department, but I thought, I can't come first week with an egg sandwich.
09:36No.
09:37I think give it a few months.
09:38Maybe it's after Christmas.
09:39On Monday night, the West Londoners were off on tour again on E4.
09:44What would you drink if he was really posh and he was in Chelsea?
09:47I don't know if I held great, I think.
09:50Oh, great, it'd be fine for me.
09:52Why are we talking like this?
09:54I don't really know.
09:55But people in Chelsea really have nice teeth.
09:58I mean, I don't talk like this all the time.
10:00I don't think so.
10:04You love this, don't you?
10:06Oh!
10:07In another life, I would be a Chelsea girl.
10:09Well, yeah, see, that's what I was getting to.
10:11I got a taxi home last night from King's Cross at about 11 o'clock.
10:15And he drove all through Chelsea.
10:17I thought, it's a nice place to live, you know?
10:19It's not too shabby.
10:20Yeah, I didn't see any of these Muppets, but...
10:26Have you never been to Thailand?
10:28My friends Linda and Jackie have been there.
10:30It's a hot spot, lots of steps.
10:33I wouldn't recommend it.
10:36Oh, I see, but at the kickboxing.
10:40Oh, yeah.
10:41Oh, I love a bit of boxing.
10:42Yeah, he's really good.
10:44That could be the reason there's a few pounds being put on.
10:47It's because I'm not doing my boxer size.
10:54Oh, it's starting to rain.
10:56Have you ever picked you up and carried you?
10:59Look at me, no, I don't think so.
11:01The only time that happened to me was when I drunkenly fell off the scooter in New York.
11:09How was your night last night?
11:10Yeah, I had a fun night.
11:11I had a really fun night.
11:12This is Freddy.
11:13Good, I'm glad.
11:14Until I saw something so sus.
11:16What?
11:17What did you see that was suspect, love?
11:19What does sus mean?
11:20Suspicious.
11:21Oh, everything's shortened nowadays.
11:23Ollie had his hand on Bex's inner thigh.
11:25Oh, no.
11:26Do you know Freddy was going out with Bex?
11:28Yes.
11:29Ollie and Freddy are best mates and Ollie's trying to get in there with Freddy's ex.
11:34As if that's not bloody mate code, is it?
11:36I did see Bex and Ollie kiss.
11:38Oh!
11:40That.
11:41Ollie wouldn't do that.
11:42Well, he fucking has, pal.
11:44He would.
11:45He did, apparently.
11:46Kiss more than once.
11:47No, no, no, no, but he's...
11:49He's told me...
11:50Oh, Freddy's actually upset.
11:51Oh, God!
11:52He feels betrayed.
11:53Oh, mate, it's not nice news to hear.
11:55I know exactly how you feel.
11:57He's gutted.
11:58He's gonna faint.
11:59Sorry, pal.
12:01Oh.
12:02Tent.
12:03He struck me like that as well.
12:04He fucking knocked me for six, sis.
12:06Fuck him.
12:08No, fuck him.
12:09Fuck him.
12:10Fuck him.
12:11Fuck him.
12:12They're, like, proper snogging each other on the bean bags.
12:18Is that another word for prisms?
12:20Snogging each other on the bean bags?
12:23Bean bags.
12:24I'm sorry, I misheard that.
12:25Stop it.
12:28How have you been feeling last, like, 24 hours?
12:30Okay.
12:31Um, I mean, obviously, it's not ideal with the Freddy and I situation.
12:34I've heard that he's pretty angry at me.
12:37He's fuming.
12:38Yeah.
12:39He is.
12:40Because you should have spoke to him first, you twit.
12:42One on one, you start to sort of like them.
12:45Ultimately, mate.
12:46Oh, here we go.
12:47Here we come.
12:48Come on, Freddy.
12:49It's Freddy.
12:50Yes.
12:51There's nothing really to worry about as long as you just...
12:53Oh.
12:56Ooh.
12:57What an entrance!
12:59I'm living for this!
13:00Ollie, you've outdone yourself, mate.
13:03There's nothing more intimidating than a slow cat walking over.
13:07What's up, Gene?
13:08You all right?
13:09How are you?
13:10Hi, Freddy.
13:11Not only are you a gigantic bellend...
13:13Oh!
13:14Gigantic bellend.
13:15Well, you can ask Bex about that, eh?
13:17A wallet.
13:18Do you know what a bellend is?
13:20A what?
13:21He just said you're a gigantic bellend.
13:23Never heard of it.
13:24I fucking...
13:25I hate you, Ollie.
13:26Oh!
13:27Would you go that far?
13:28I hate you!
13:34Come here, no.
13:35Come back and fucking deal with this like a mask.
13:37If you're going to talk to me like I'm a piece of shit...
13:39Oh!
13:40Oh!
13:41He's coming back!
13:42You are a piece of shit, Ollie.
13:44Oh, he's shaking!
13:46You are a piece of shit, Ollie.
13:48I can't trust you.
13:49We're never going to be friends again.
13:52I mean that wholeheartedly.
13:54There is no coming back from this.
13:55Ever.
13:56Can't go where your mates' exes.
13:58What have you done?
13:59If you was in the same position, me and you broke up,
14:01and then one of your best friends moves in on me.
14:05I just say best of luck.
14:07I can't do it.
14:08Time sucks for that.
14:10A bellend.
14:11OK, imagine a man's appendage.
14:14Oh, yeah.
14:15OK.
14:16Have you got it now?
14:17Yeah.
14:18OK, well, that's a bellend.
14:19If you call someone a bellend, it's the end of their knob.
14:20Oh, I've never heard of that.
14:21It's like a dickhead.
14:22Oh, OK.
14:27Must remember that bellend.
14:29Yeah.
14:38In Bristol...
14:39Yo, man, let me never guess what I did.
14:41What's that?
14:42I went to an orchestra by candlelight.
14:44Oh, I've been wanting to do that.
14:45You?
14:46Yeah.
14:47I've changed.
14:48Brothers Tremaine, Twain and Tristan.
14:51I'm not going to lie, I've changed.
14:52Best experience I've experienced for a long while.
14:55Well, yeah, so I need to do that.
14:57See, he's climbing mountains and he's doing orchestra by candlelight.
15:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:01He's this guy, bro.
15:02What up to you, blud?
15:03Turned at 35, I've changed.
15:04On Tuesday night, Waterloo Road opened up the school gates for a new term on BBC One.
15:13Have you seen this before, Lee?
15:14Do you look like I used to watch it years ago?
15:16Yeah, I like it.
15:17I would go back to high school tomorrow.
15:19Would you?
15:20I loved every minute of it.
15:22I think I would as well, you know.
15:26John Richardson, is he the comedian?
15:28Not THE John Richardson!
15:30Has he turned to acting now? Bloody hell!
15:34I tell you what, if I actually went to school at Waterloo Road, I'd get nothing done because
15:41I'd be that starstruck.
15:42You know, I'd be like, that's Kim Marsh over there.
15:44I know Kim Marsh taking English.
15:45Yeah.
15:50What's that on The Saints?
15:51Oh my God, is that drag?
15:55Who's sniffing before school?
15:59John Richardson!
16:04Is he taking something like that packet?
16:07To get him through the day?
16:09Maybe, maybe.
16:10But isn't it a blessing that neither you nor I is addicted to cocaine?
16:14Cocaine, ketamine, or fentanyl.
16:17Or the other stuff, um, skunk.
16:20Mr. Donovan!
16:21Hey, sorry you got that new starter look about you.
16:24Is this his first day?
16:25Literally a high school teacher!
16:27That's not me!
16:31Mum, you don't get it, it's not right.
16:33Mate, I had no idea.
16:34Honestly.
16:35When you're ready, Mr. Charles.
16:36Is this the man in huddle?
16:37This is Darius Donovan.
16:39He will be joining us as our new creative arts teacher.
16:42Creative arts.
16:43Do you do creative arts at your school?
16:45Mm-mm.
16:46Can't get me away from the art department.
16:47You're very arty, aren't you Jake?
16:49Mm-hmm.
16:50And another not so new member of staff that really deserves a mention is Mark Todd.
16:54Mark has been shortlisted for the North West Teacher of the Year award.
16:58Oh!
16:59Has he now?
17:00Shortlisted.
17:01He's not won it yet.
17:03Oh, Darius isn't impressed, is he?
17:04He doesn't seem amused, does he?
17:05Seems like a bit of a hater.
17:06Yeah.
17:07Oh, Darius isn't impressed, is he?
17:08He doesn't seem amused, does he?
17:09Seems like a bit of a hater.
17:10Yeah.
17:11Oh!
17:12Dropping his bag on floor!
17:13At school?
17:14No way.
17:15Oh, my gosh.
17:16Mr. Todd's found the packet.
17:17Is that what I think it is?
17:18Yes, it is.
17:19Alissa, Mr. Todd's teacher of the year, you know, he's definitely going to snitch.
17:20Yeah.
17:21I thought I'd seen things.
17:22One of the kids must have dropped it.
17:23Ooh!
17:24Oh, my God, he's blaming it!
17:25He's blaming it!
17:26He's blaming it!
17:27He's blaming it!
17:28He's blaming it!
17:29He's blaming it!
17:30He's blaming it!
17:31He's blaming it!
17:32He's blaming it!
17:33He's blaming it!
17:34He's blaming it!
17:35He's blaming it!
17:36He's blaming it!
17:37He's blaming it!
17:38He's blaming it!
17:39He's blaming it!
17:40He's blaming it!
17:41He's blaming it!
17:42He's blaming it!
17:43He's putting them in his pocket!
17:45Well, because the pupils were going past, he could hardly keep them in his hand!
17:50If I was him, I'd be straight to the headmaster's office!
17:52I know, yeah!
17:53This is insane!
17:54Can you see his mind going?
17:56I can get him fired and I'll be the North West best teacher!
17:59Wow!
18:00How has Darius got away with that as well?
18:04Hey!
18:05Now, that is the face of a teacher who's been here a few years!
18:07Not a few hours!
18:08I've just lost 30 quid at the fucking coke fam!
18:12Do you know the expression, caught between a rock and a hard place?
18:16What's he going to say?
18:18What's he going to tell him?
18:20I saw Mr. Todd with drugs.
18:26Oh, you horrible little quizzling!
18:29All because Mr. Todd's up for getting an award and he wants to be top dog round here!
18:35He's taking Mr. Todd down!
18:36Do you know what?
18:37Will you please just forget I said anything?
18:39Forget I said anything?
18:40How can you forget that?
18:42Look, I'll tell you what, I'll keep your name out of it!
18:45Cheers, pal!
18:46You're a good one!
18:47Oh, keep your name out of it!
18:49Oh, that's what he wants!
18:51Oh, exactly!
18:52That's exactly what he's after!
18:53You played right into his hands!
18:55He did, didn't he?
18:56Mark, if you'd like to take a seat, please?
18:57I wanted to see you, actually!
18:59Is she going to speak to him about the drugs before he has the chance to tell her?
19:03Yes!
19:04Ooh!
19:05Mark, we've had a report that you've got drugs on you.
19:07He does have drugs on him, they're in his pocket, miss!
19:10He does, yeah.
19:11That's why I came to see you.
19:13I found something outside the loo's at lunch.
19:16Oh, he's hot!
19:17Oh, my God!
19:18Now he looks like he's lying!
19:20Hang on.
19:21You don't honestly think that that is mine?
19:23Oh, he's never going to get teacher of the year now.
19:26So I'm going to score me off the premises?
19:27Given the severity of the accusation, we have no option but to call the police.
19:31The police?
19:32Oh, he's getting fucking nicked as well.
19:34He was class I.
19:36Poor bloke.
19:38Oh, he's horrendous, Jane.
19:39Do you know what?
19:41John plays a very convincing knobhead, doesn't he?
19:44He's a dark horse, he's John Richardson.
19:46He's a man of many talents.
19:50Who do you reckon is going to be the better driver out of you two?
19:53Oh, wow.
19:54Oh, hands up. Harry's.
19:55Oh, me, absolutely.
19:56Michael, Sally and their sons Jake and Harry.
20:00Why is it going to be you?
20:01Because I'm older, I'm more mature.
20:03My brain, my frontal lobe is fully developed.
20:06See, I'm going to prove to you right now why I'm a better driver than Harry.
20:10Harry, which one's left and right?
20:12That way.
20:13Which one's left or right?
20:14You can't just point that way.
20:15You can't just point that way.
20:17This week, our favorite wildlife filmmaker was all at sea on Disney Plus.
20:22Darling, dolphins up close. Are you sure you want to watch that?
20:25I am. Well...
20:26Not sure that's the best idea with your past experience with dolphins.
20:30I honestly think I must be the only person in the world that can comfortably say, not comfortably actually, but can truthfully say I was sexually assaulted by a dolphin.
20:41Or a dolphin tried to sexually assault me is probably the correct time.
20:44Have you ever wanted to swim with dolphins?
20:50No, I can't swim. I don't like getting my hair wet.
20:53I'm sure last time we watched Bertie Gregory you said you fancied him.
20:56Well, has he got a pulse?
20:58Yeah.
20:59Confident.
21:06Look, this is the place you wanted to go to, the Azores.
21:09Yes.
21:10It looks awful as a holiday destination.
21:13Over the last 10 years, I've become completely obsessed with searching the ocean for epic gatherings of predators.
21:20There is no way you would catch me anywhere near an epic gathering of predators.
21:24No.
21:25In wildlife film, we call these a bait ball, and they attract a group of predators that you'd never otherwise see together.
21:30A bait ball? So what's in the bait ball, I wonder?
21:32I know what a bait ball is.
21:34What?
21:35It's where they school all them fish together, isn't it?
21:38This could be the most diverse gathering of predators I've ever filmed.
21:42Well, I think we might learn something here, Rosie.
21:45Well, I think we might, yes.
21:47Because usually we avoid animals like the plague.
21:49It's a bumpy two-hour journey to the remote sea mountain.
21:53Good God.
21:54Two hours of...
21:55This is more like it.
22:02Here we go.
22:03Oh, look.
22:04So we're seeing some, we're seeing some activity, some wildlife.
22:07Dolphins arrived.
22:12Wow.
22:13Oh, look at them all.
22:14Look at them all.
22:15My goodness.
22:16Oh, wow.
22:17That's amazing, actually.
22:18That would be lovely to see, but we wouldn't want to be on the water doing that, though.
22:21The spotted and common dolphins try to herd the fish.
22:24Look at the beautiful markings on them.
22:27I'm triggered.
22:29Circling the school, the predators tighten their grip.
22:32There's the ball.
22:33It's literally a ball.
22:34It's literally a ball.
22:35It's literally a ball.
22:36Look at how they move.
22:37Ooh.
22:38They're trying to get out of the way.
22:39But something has spooked the dolphins.
22:42Oh, shit, what happened?
22:44Ooh, what's that?
22:45No.
22:46Oh, here we go.
22:47The apex predators come in.
22:48Blue sharks.
22:50Oh, my goodness.
22:52See, that is why you won't catch me in the sea.
23:00That shark has played an absolute blinder.
23:03Yeah, but...
23:04He's just got 150 dolphins, 400 birds to do his work,
23:07and now he's just going to go and clean up that shark.
23:10He's come, he's eaten all the food,
23:12and then he's buggered off.
23:13This is...
23:14You are the shark!
23:16But the feast isn't over.
23:19The dolphins are back for one final showdown.
23:22Oh, here we go.
23:23Oh, they've come back.
23:24Come on, dolphins.
23:25Come on.
23:26You can do it.
23:27Get your ball back.
23:28The bait ball is tossed upwards.
23:31Does that mean the birds can eat it, then?
23:34Yeah.
23:35Nowhere to go.
23:36Down come the shearwaters.
23:38Oh, look at that!
23:40Look at that lot!
23:41This is insane!
23:43Diving to more than 50 feet.
23:47What the friggin' hell?
23:50This doesn't look real.
23:51I don't think it is.
23:53And it's not over yet.
23:55What else can happen?
23:59Who's this now?
24:00The commotion draws the attention of a minky whale.
24:04Ooh!
24:05A minky whale!
24:07A minky whale!
24:12Oh!
24:13Straight through the middle.
24:17He ate lots there, him.
24:18You greedy bastard!
24:21Tough day to be a fish.
24:22Yeah.
24:24I am not trying to get in the ocean and swim with no dolphins.
24:27Why?
24:28It looks too scary.
24:29But you've got all them bikinis, man,
24:31that you're taking to St Vincent with you.
24:33They ain't for the dolphins, Mum.
24:36Who they for?
24:38Glow the air!
24:48In Leeds...
24:49I was fuming when I got here and Toby were parked in my car parking spot.
24:54Well, I did say to him, you know, Ellie's going to be madly inconvenienced
24:57and she's going to have to walk five more steps to get to my front door
24:59and she ain't going to be happy about it.
25:01Yeah?
25:02And he went, well, I don't care.
25:04Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
25:05Do you know what?
25:06I actually did confront him about it and then he did offer to move his car and put my car there.
25:12But I said, no.
25:14No point now.
25:15Damage is done.
25:16Damage is done, yeah.
25:17But I thought, do you know what?
25:18Nat would never do that.
25:21He just wouldn't do it, would he?
25:25And I thought, do you know what Toby is?
25:27Selfish.
25:29On Saturday night, a couple of familiar faces were back together again on ITV1.
25:35We cup of this time?
25:36Oh, lovely.
25:37Thank you so much.
25:38I feel terrible.
25:39I'm just sitting down here.
25:41Do you want some of this?
25:42Oh, yeah, please.
25:43What are you looking at the side is?
25:44That one.
25:45Ah!
25:46This is win-win.
25:51No, this is, don't you?
25:53No, what is it?
25:54New Melon Soup.
25:56Oh!
25:57They're back.
26:02Oh, they mean business.
26:04The power walking.
26:05I tell you what, I bet these two are glad they've been chucked to bone.
26:08Yeah.
26:09You've not seen them, really, together since Bake Off.
26:12Yeah, quite sad, actually.
26:13It's more like a reunion, this, really, isn't it?
26:15It is, yeah.
26:16In the programme, Mel and Sue were looking for answers based on what a survey had said.
26:21Question three is upon us.
26:22Here it is.
26:23OK.
26:24OK.
26:25Which of these unhygienic things have the most number of Brits done?
26:31Oh, no.
26:32Oh, no.
26:33This is going to be totally triggering for me.
26:35I can't cope.
26:36Not brush their teeth for a day.
26:38How could you not brush your teeth for a day?
26:40Well, I'm...
26:42No.
26:43What are these unhygienic things?
26:44Because I have to put mine in.
26:46LAUGHTER
26:49Pied in the shower?
26:50Oh.
26:51Pop someone else's spots.
26:53Oh, no.
26:54Oh.
26:55Done all of them.
26:56LAUGHTER
26:57The answer is...
27:00Pied in the shower.
27:02You do it as well, Barton.
27:03I've never done it.
27:04Barton does it in the bath.
27:06LAUGHTER
27:07According to our survey, what's the most common tattoo design among Brits?
27:13A sheep.
27:14I don't think so.
27:16It's either tribal, bar Wyatt, sweetie pie, or a dolphin above the navel.
27:21Yeah.
27:22Butterfly?
27:23Dragon.
27:24Loved one's name.
27:25I've got a butterfly!
27:26You know, I've just got my brothers and sisters' names there.
27:28Butterfly.
27:29Butterfly, apparently all girls.
27:31I've got one at the top of their back bottoms.
27:34All girls of a certain age.
27:36Really?
27:37No.
27:38The answer is...
27:40Butterfly!
27:41A butterfly?
27:42Butterfly?
27:43Oh, my God!
27:44What's wrong with people?
27:46I'm common.
27:47Boring.
27:48No shock there.
27:49No shock there.
27:50Yeah?
27:51No shock there.
27:52Two best studio players will now face one final question to win that cash card.
27:56And that, to remind everybody, is loaded with 25,000 smackaroos.
28:00Oh, I could just do with that right now.
28:02You see, this is wrong, because it's making Britons think that if you're going to get a
28:06game show, you'll win money rather than working for it.
28:10So, we asked the nation, which physical attribute do you find most attractive in other people?
28:16Great game, this, isn't it?
28:18Elbows.
28:19100%.
28:20Personality.
28:21Oh, physical.
28:22Good bomb.
28:23Clean fingernail.
28:24Nice skin.
28:25Height.
28:26Good posture.
28:27Not asked about hair or eyes.
28:28They don't need any of them.
28:30Legs.
28:31You're just saying yours.
28:33Yeah.
28:34Based on a survey.
28:35What first attracted you to Percy, Sarah?
28:38Beautifully shaped hands.
28:40James, you did best in that round, so you're going to go first.
28:44What are you thinking?
28:45I'll go for smile.
28:46Teeth.
28:47Ha.
28:48Ha.
28:49Ha.
28:50Smile.
28:51Right.
28:52Smile.
28:53Graham, what are you going to go with?
28:55I always used to look at bums.
28:57Erm.
28:58I'd probably say good teeth.
29:01Yeah, he's got good teeth.
29:02He's got good teeth.
29:03See?
29:04They're talking about themselves.
29:05They're talking about excelling themselves.
29:07Is going to smile going to be higher or lower than Graham's teeth?
29:12Do you think it's higher?
29:13Just have a look.
29:14Smile and good teeth are the same thing.
29:15They are not the same thing.
29:16Oh!
29:17Oh!
29:18Smile number one!
29:19And he's smiling now, isn't he, James?
29:20He's smiling like this!
29:21Well done, James.
29:22Do you know what?
29:23Do you know what?
29:24That's what it's all about for me.
29:25Seeing somebody who's gone on there, had a go and they've won a nice couple of quid.
29:28Exactly.
29:29Nothing too taxing, neither.
29:30Yeah.
29:31Warms the cockles of my heart.
29:32Yeah.
29:33Lovely.
29:34And it's nice to see Mel and Sue, you know, are back at the trough.
29:37Yeah.
29:38Incafilly.
29:39You've bought a quiche, haven't you?
29:40What's in there?
29:41Amok.
29:42Is it Amok, is it?
29:43Yeah.
29:44You had that on the plane.
29:46Oh, do you love that?
29:47Yeah.
29:48But you had bechamel sauce at all.
29:49I took that off.
29:50Yeah.
29:51I took that off.
29:52Yeah.
29:53I took that off.
29:54Yeah.
29:55I took that off.
29:56Yeah.
29:57Yeah.
29:58Yeah.
29:59Yeah.
30:00Yeah.
30:01Yeah.
30:02Yeah.
30:03Yeah.
30:04Yeah.
30:05Bechamel sauce at all.
30:06I took that off with the paper.
30:08Dave and his wife, Shirley.
30:10It didn't say bechamel sauce.
30:12It said mature cheddar in with the hock and then on top, more cheddar.
30:19I read it.
30:20I read it.
30:21No, I read it.
30:22No.
30:23I read it.
30:24No.
30:25No, it didn't.
30:26It said a mature cheddar with ham hock and bechamel sauce.
30:32No, it didn't.
30:33I'm Friday night.
30:34There was exciting news for wannabe spooks on ITV.
30:38Oh!
30:39You said stop you, Sean.
30:40You're on a diet.
30:41Don't do it.
30:42Back away from the doughnut, Sean.
30:43Are there any biscuits to go with that plate?
30:46Hey, love.
30:47What's that for?
30:48Oh, you'll be going home soon.
30:49Or now.
30:50I'm not going home yet.
30:51I'm going to watch the news.
30:52Bloody shit.
30:53Oh, do you know what to have?
30:54Make me feel welcome, you.
30:55Where's my coat?
30:56You'll be giving me that next.
30:57Oh, no, don't bother.
30:58I'm not going.
30:59It was good and bad news today for anyone hoping to become an MI6 spy.
31:12Oh, haven't they found your CV yet?
31:14No, they haven't found me application.
31:16I put it in.
31:17I put it in yesterday.
31:18On the one hand, the agencies opened up a new recruitment site for applications.
31:23Oh, you're going to play.
31:25Would you fancy that?
31:27Yes.
31:28On the other, it can only be found on the dark web.
31:31Oh, what's that?
31:32So can you not find it on LinkedIn?
31:34No.
31:35Notorious as a hive of insidious and incriminating websites.
31:39I thought the dark web was for buying gums and things like that.
31:42It's the first test of MI6.
31:44Ah.
31:45Find us on the dark web.
31:46That's really clever.
31:47I bet you could get on the dark web using your new VPN that you got to watch telly abroad.
31:54I don't know how to get on.
31:56I use it for legitimate reasons.
31:59Of course, it's really aimed at aspiring agents in hostile states like Russia and North Korea to get in touch.
32:07So they're trying to get spies from different countries to tell us their secrets, but I'm not being funny.
32:12Why are they going to want to tell us?
32:13Ain't that putting them in mortal danger?
32:16It could be.
32:17But if you get paid enough, who cares?
32:20MI6's latest recruitment drive is via a dedicated portal on the dark web.
32:25I might go on the dark web.
32:28Tonight.
32:29Where is the dark web anyway?
32:32Have I got it on my computer?
32:34I don't know.
32:35I don't know.
32:36I've not done it.
32:37Our appeal today is not to Russians alone.
32:39Anyone, anywhere in the world with access to sensitive information.
32:43Oh yeah, I can really see the Taliban logging in from the hills above Afghanistan going,
32:50I'll sign up for the MI6 website.
32:52Relating to terrorism or hostile intelligence activity can use the new portal to contact MI6.
32:59So this is like snitch book.
33:01So basically it's a website where you can go and snitch on your country and not be traced.
33:07Surely they could just do it on, not on dark web, they could do it on normally.
33:11We'll set up a Facebook group.
33:13Yeah.
33:14MI6 are now using social media platforms to also attract new recruits.
33:18What's the difference between MI5 and MI6?
33:21One.
33:22One number.
33:24What do you mean?
33:26Can you just like work in the canteen at MI6?
33:28Do you have to go through the dark web to get a job there as well, sir?
33:31Maybe.
33:32Yeah.
33:33This bab tastes like Novichok.
33:36In Hull.
33:48Can you hear me breathing?
33:49I'm a bit chesty today.
33:50Do you know I sit a ring?
33:52Go to shop and get me some Maluga honey.
33:55I've got some lemon and a bottle of lemonade.
33:58Best friends Jenny and Lee.
34:00The phone rings.
34:02Jenny!
34:03What?
34:04I'm at the honey.
34:07How will I hear?
34:08I said, what do you mean how will I hear?
34:10He said, well the Maluga honey is £14.95 and the next one down is £3.95.
34:15I'm just asking you how will I hear.
34:18What did you say?
34:19Not very well.
34:20I just went.
34:21£3.95.
34:22Just get the £3.95.
34:23£14 quid.
34:25I've never heard of what's it called.
34:27Yeah.
34:28Maluga.
34:29Where's it from?
34:30Tesco's.
34:31On Sunday night we took to the skies for a nail biting ride on that Geo.
34:38Finally Julie.
34:39Summit from here now.
34:40Top Guns.
34:41Right down my street this.
34:43I've been out in light aircraft getting flown around.
34:46It's the bollocks.
34:47You did one flying lesson.
34:49Exactly.
34:50I've got the taste for it.
34:55I'm looking forward to this Jane.
34:56Top Guns.
34:57The next generation.
34:58I mean you think you're bloody Tom Cruise don't you really?
35:01You're as short as him.
35:02I'm taller than him.
35:03I'm taller than him.
35:04But that's about.
35:05That's where the resemblance finishes really.
35:07It's at least an inch and a half between me and him.
35:11My name is Austin Claggett.
35:13I'm a First Lieutenant in the Marine Corps.
35:15Hi Austin.
35:16He looks like an Austin.
35:17An all-American jock.
35:18Austin is a good name for a fighter pilot.
35:21I don't know about Claggett.
35:22Yeah.
35:23My family definitely knows me as Crazy Austin.
35:27Crazy Austin? Bloody hell.
35:29Not Crazy Claggett then.
35:30That'd be better.
35:31Crazy Claggett's much better.
35:33I'll just do the things that no one else would dare do.
35:37I mean you pretty much have to be a bit of a nutter don't you to do this?
35:41Yeah.
35:42I think Austin is confident enough to get his wings you know.
35:45He can talk the talk but we've got to see whether he can walk the walk.
35:49All right Bobby.
35:54Going straight into bombing?
35:55Jesus.
35:56This is where they've got to go in close to the target, release the bomb, then pull out to the dive or whatever.
36:01This takes a bit of balls this too.
36:03You need them.
36:04For this dry run it's all about staying calm and in control.
36:08Well I couldn't do that could you?
36:09Could you stay calm and be in control?
36:11Well I won't be in control that's for certain.
36:12I'm nervous now and I'm just on the couch.
36:14Last to perform the manoeuvre is Austin.
36:17Come on Austin.
36:18You've got this Austin.
36:20Isn't that what people say now Mary?
36:22Yes.
36:25Here he goes.
36:27Oh my stomach's going mad.
36:29He's going in now.
36:32Fucking hell it's a bit lively this isn't he fella?
36:38He's breathing hard isn't he?
36:39Oh my god.
36:40That would be actually quite terrifying.
36:42That was the first time that I've been scared.
36:47Oh he's having a little wobbly.
36:49Oh no.
36:50Because he's heading towards the ground at a meteoric rate.
36:53He's thinking fuck.
36:55Quite the sobering experience that I imagine.
37:00Hard pull!
37:01Hard pull!
37:02You've got to pull up now Austin.
37:03No you've got to pull up now Austin.
37:04Come on Austin you need to pull up.
37:05Oh my days this is nuts.
37:09Can you imagine going down that quick?
37:11Yeah.
37:13A bit like the big dipper at Black Pole isn't it really?
37:15No.
37:16Well a bit like it.
37:17No.
37:18No.
37:19After the dry run Austin had to do the manoeuvre again whilst dropping a bomb on a target.
37:25They need to release their bombs precisely at the right moment.
37:28See how do you know when the right moment is?
37:31They need to pull up sharply before they reach the altitude limit of 3,000 feet.
37:35Ahhhh.
37:36Cause they can't go any lower than that.
37:37That's correct yeah.
37:38That's the hard deck.
37:39Yeah the point of no return.
37:42Here we go.
37:43God this is the real thing now Lee isn't it?
37:48Hold your nerve no son.
37:49Come on Beth.
37:50He's coming down.
37:51You're going too low!
37:52Up! Up! Up!
37:53He's got...
37:54Well he's hit the target.
37:55He's off.
37:56He's off.
37:57But he's broken the deck.
37:58Out of the chote.
37:59No did he fuck it?
38:00It went under the 3,000.
38:01No Austin!
38:02We go low again.
38:03They were...
38:04No did he fuck it?
38:05It went under the 3,000.
38:06No Austin!
38:07No Austin!
38:08We go low again.
38:09They were...
38:10We go low again.
38:11They were...
38:12We're going home.
38:13He's going home.
38:14He's got one more chance Lee.
38:16One more chance.
38:17It must be really twitchy now.
38:18Don't you think?
38:19It's coming in hot again.
38:235,000.
38:245,000.
38:25Don't go too low.
38:26Slow it down.
38:273,000.
38:283,000.
38:29Oh he's near the mark.
38:30Oh go on you're nearly there.
38:31You're nearly there.
38:32Go for it.
38:33Now!
38:34Oh!
38:35Oh!
38:36Oh!
38:37Oh!
38:38Oh!
38:39Oh!
38:40He's done it again!
38:41No!
38:42Oh he's...
38:43Oh no!
38:44He's fucking gone low again.
38:5017 feet.
38:51Bullseye.
38:52He got a bullseye.
38:53Yeah what a fucking low altitude.
38:54Oh my god that's so unfair.
38:56It's actually quite heartbreaking because he's done one perfectly not the other.
38:59We're going out.
39:00Yes sir.
39:01So Austin's out.
39:02It's absolutely messed it up.
39:03Oh!
39:04Oh Phil.
39:05I was like that three times for my driving lesson.
39:06That's the first time.
39:07Well yeah you shouldn't have done that.
39:08I'll tell you now.
39:09If that were me I'd take failure really really personally.
39:10I'd have dealt with it horribly.
39:11And I'd have made a big scene.
39:12I'd have ruminated and talked about it for the next six months.
39:13Every day.
39:14Six months?
39:15Six years.
39:16You'd be unbearable.
39:17In Leeds.
39:18Your eyebrows look really good.
39:19I know.
39:20My first ever tattoo and it's my eyebrows.
39:21I wanna touch it.
39:22You can.
39:23That's really good isn't it?
39:24It adds character to your face.
39:26Best friends Danielle and Danielle and Danielle.
39:27It's, I mean, just that could be there.
39:28I mean, I'm probably in the same way.
39:30In the same way.
39:31I could be in the same way.
39:32I could be in the same way.
39:33I could be in the same way.
39:34The same way I could be in the same way.
39:35I could be in the same way.
39:36But if that were me, I'd take failure really really personally.
39:38I'd have dealt with it horribly.
39:40And I'd have made a big scene.
39:41I'd have ruminated and talked about it for the next six months.
39:44your face best friends danielle and daniela what you mean i don't know you look like what like a
39:50cartoon character oh like you know i don't know can you just say something nice please it is nice
39:57you when you say when you give people compliments you always tend to stutter
40:01because it's so unnatural for you that you're like nice this week our favorite bunch of bad
40:10spies were back on apple tv plus here we are julian some property who would have dreamt
40:15we'd be living long enough to see another episode
40:23i tell you who could have been in mi5 who becky potter and sinead yeah they were queen at fbi's
40:31weren't they queen of the fbi yeah dried by fbi social media stalk on your man's netflix all
40:37they'd need is a first name that'd be it and a location
40:44oh here we go shh jane shush i haven't said a word it started
40:51this looks dodgy don't it does why is it dodgy
40:56hello what did he get out of that van then can i give you a poster for the window oh the bank doesn't
41:00let us be political same sat down on that bench there in it we've got a bag morning hope mayor
41:06jaffrey can count on your vote oh i have a feeling he's barking up the wrong tree here oh lovey read
41:12the room but mayor jaffrey offers hope there is what's he getting out of his bag gimbal wants to
41:18make them oh oh hell that's a tool enough chitter brick man what are you you're on the floor get on the
41:25floor oh it's killing everybody can you imagine no
41:40oh i knew it i knew he was gonna get i was gonna say i better get shot in a minute
41:44what the fuck is i'm sorry did you see the blood coming out of his head
41:51who's he
41:54eh that was the same van he got the gun out of somebody's definitely got him to do all that
41:59shooting and then killed him
42:00oh slow horses it guy what's his name roddy roddy
42:12look like a right knob head going through town like that
42:14you have lean cosmeto no wonder you want the good as a spy
42:17oh that's a great star mate bloody hell you know you got him i know
42:27god it's that van again that's the van that we're doing the shootings it is what the
42:31fuck wait surely she's a slow ass as well oh so his teammate has just saved his life yeah and i
42:36think thank you was a word that you know what it should be looking for witnesses described the
42:40shooter as using a shotgun or a rifle oh here he is like eating in some greasy spoon watching the
42:48telly having a bit typical well why are you mistaking this from my office well you're also not
42:53welcome or pleasant as ever lamb so many they ran however good for them off it was deliberate
43:02they drove straight at him so shirley thinks that someone's trying to do a hit on roddy
43:06where they happen fan street no cameras suspicious in itself it's what you call suss white transit
43:12van heading east surely we should at least try and track it see shirley's spider senses are tingling
43:17here yeah and she's she's on the right lines yeah trust your gut are you going to take this seriously
43:24well i'm glad you asked me that no are you going to take this seriously
43:27fuck off oh my god there's lots of fucks in this lately ain't they he's wanting nothing serious
43:32i know a bit later concerned for his safety river and shirley had followed roddy to a nightclub
43:42this is one of your scenes or other isn't it it's very similar to somewhere i would go to yes
43:49they're not playing any pet shop boys true sir no i know i wouldn't like to go in that no juran juran
43:54he's cutting some moves or do you call it shapes shapes darling shapes
44:03she's seeing something like what's going on what's going on what's going on what's going on
44:15what's going on oh they're going to be getting asked to leave they're having the shoulders fell
44:26don't lose them shirley
44:33bullseye he's gone off in his prius
44:37so it's tonight the night is tonight the night when to become one
44:45all right spice girls oh i'll have to remember that pickup line no sean don't it's a bit cringe
44:53you know i really want to huh but i have to be up really early and and i wanted to be special oh
44:59ruddy you've been strung along buddy she's not genuinely in this is she no oh god she's having
45:08you on that's a good tactic if you don't want to snog just put all your fingers in the mouth
45:13that's weird wasn't it yeah that was really weird i think he's ugly
45:25she don't like him at all look oh hang on something's going on
45:30oh he's heading into his flat
45:40zero fucks on this face that's definitely a honey trap she's double-crossed him
45:46when was the last time you went to a nightclub uh germany 2023
45:52seriously yeah cologne oh yeah jane oh were you with the little people though yes and the german
46:03hardcore dancers
46:07right so it's not really a nightclub nightclub is it it was a nightclub we just haven't taken over
46:15it was a safe nightclub then
46:16not with me on the dance floor oh god
46:26they have had an e4 skinful and you can too pucker up and stream made in chelsea any old time
46:32and don't get fomo i already have maps uk is back stream now remember brand new eps come thursday
46:39to sunday at nine on e4 mitchell and webb aren't helping next comedy and they're bound to be some wigs
46:46and they're bound to be some wigs
46:55so
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