- 2 weeks ago
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30The End
00:01:00The End
00:01:30Peter, here you are
00:01:35I'm not, there
00:01:36Oh yes, sorry I am, sorry
00:01:37Come on, the train's nearly going
00:01:39Trains don't nearly go, darling
00:01:41Either they go or they stay where they are
00:01:43See?
00:01:44Oh, sorry, follow
00:01:45Here, follow
00:01:46Come on, it's all right
00:01:48I suppose we're in the right part of the train
00:01:51Well, darling, it looks all right to me
00:01:53Yes, but I mean we want to go to the right place, don't we?
00:01:55Anywhere you go is the right place for me
00:01:58Oh, darling, you do say nice things
00:02:00I know I do
00:02:02Oh
00:02:02Here, now I'm going to get some papers
00:02:05Hurry up, I'm sure the train's going to go
00:02:07Now don't you worry, darling
00:02:09I'll be damned long before it does that
00:02:11Excuse me, I want a paper
00:02:17Well, so do I
00:02:17Yes, all right
00:02:18I'll be damned long before it
00:02:20Great heavens
00:02:21Marguerite
00:02:22Peter
00:02:22Charlie
00:02:23Fancy meeting you
00:02:25Yes, Robin, how delightful
00:02:27It must be nearly two years since I haven't seen you
00:02:32Yes, and we haven't seen you
00:02:34Peter
00:02:39Peter
00:02:40You know you haven't changed a bit
00:02:43Good
00:02:43Oh, yes, you have
00:02:44You've been married, haven't you?
00:02:45So have you
00:02:46Yes, Robin, lovely
00:02:47And where are you going now?
00:02:50I'm going to stay with the Bunterls
00:02:51The Bunterls
00:02:52And so are we
00:02:53Peter
00:02:59But heaven, she's missed it
00:03:03What are you doing?
00:03:04Peter, Peter
00:03:06Is your wife going with you?
00:03:08Oh, Robin, yes
00:03:10She's in that
00:03:11Good Lord
00:03:12Here, quick
00:03:16Oh, curse for the death
00:03:19I wouldn't have had this happen for the world
00:03:22Oh, well, what about me?
00:03:24You've made me miss it, too
00:03:26Well, never mind about that
00:03:27Poor little Barbara
00:03:29Gone without me
00:03:31What can we do?
00:03:33Now, what can we do, Peter?
00:03:34I know
00:03:35We'll go back to my flat and ring up for a car
00:03:38And we'll get there almost as soon as the train
00:03:39Good
00:03:40Come along, then
00:03:42Let's do that
00:03:42All right
00:03:43But, um, about your wife
00:03:46We will explain to her naturally
00:03:48She will understand, won't she?
00:03:50Oh, of course
00:03:51She's a darling
00:03:52But she has a mother
00:03:55Oh
00:03:56I see
00:03:58But surely her mother is not going to make any fuss about a little thing like this
00:04:03Oh, certainly not
00:04:05Unless, of course, she finds out
00:04:07She's a beauty
00:04:09Oh
00:04:10But her father's all right
00:04:11Oh, he's a great sport
00:04:13You know, a sort of wet accumulator
00:04:16George
00:04:20What?
00:04:22What are you doing?
00:04:24What?
00:04:25What are you doing?
00:04:31Gargling
00:04:31Stop doing that
00:04:44And come out
00:04:46We've got to go to Barbara, that one
00:04:49Barbara's?
00:04:50Why?
00:04:52I've just had a wire from her
00:04:54Something very serious has happened
00:04:56What is it?
00:04:57It's that husband of hers
00:04:58He's put his foot in it this time
00:05:01Put his foot in what?
00:05:03Open the door
00:05:04And come out
00:05:06How the devil can I come out if I don't open the door?
00:05:11You do say some damn silly things
00:05:13Don't fiddle and diddle
00:05:17I want fiddling and diddling
00:05:19You can't leave me alone for a minute
00:05:22Hurry up and get your coat
00:05:26We've got to go to Barbara's at once
00:05:28Oh
00:05:29This is funny, isn't it?
00:05:34Oh, is it?
00:05:36Both of us going to the bunters
00:05:38You with a wife I have never seen
00:05:40And me with a husband you have never seen
00:05:42Great Scott
00:05:44You don't mean to tell me your husband's on the train with my Barbara
00:05:46No, no, he's not coming down tomorrow
00:05:49Oh, I see
00:05:50He's sitting late tonight
00:05:52Sitting late?
00:05:54Why, is he broody or something?
00:05:58No, he's an MP
00:06:01Good evening, ma'am
00:06:08George
00:06:14George
00:06:15Who was she?
00:06:20Have you any idea?
00:06:21I don't know who she was, ma'am
00:06:22A strange young lady
00:06:23A foreigner, it struck me
00:06:25With a little dog
00:06:26A little what?
00:06:27Dog
00:06:28Dog
00:06:29Dog
00:06:30Dog
00:06:31Dog
00:06:31Gone
00:06:33Mr. Wickham seemed in a great hurry
00:06:35He went straight and telephoned to Gamble's garage
00:06:37Put a car at once
00:06:38For a long journey
00:06:39You see?
00:06:41Gone
00:06:42They stayed here some time
00:06:44And then?
00:06:46Then the car come
00:06:47And then?
00:06:49Then away they went, together
00:06:50I knew something of this sort would happen
00:06:54What, uh, what happened to the little dog?
00:06:58That will do
00:06:59I've had a telegram saying Mrs. Wickham is returning
00:07:02I shall remain until she comes in
00:07:04Thank you, ma'am
00:07:05George
00:07:14What?
00:07:18I'm sorry, sir
00:07:19There's nothing for it
00:07:20Well, what are we going to do?
00:07:21I'll have to get back to a garage
00:07:22And have her taken in tow
00:07:24And what's going to happen to us?
00:07:26I don't know
00:07:26We'd better find the pub and get some food
00:07:29But where is the pub?
00:07:30Well, how should I know, my dear girl?
00:07:31Oh, look
00:07:32Here comes a local
00:07:33Local?
00:07:37You mean yokel?
00:07:39Well, local yokel
00:07:40Looks a dear old thing to me
00:07:42Oh
00:07:42Looks to me like a very old boy scout
00:07:45Tell me
00:07:46Where's the nearest pub?
00:07:49Uh, Maiden Blatton
00:07:51Maiden Blatton
00:07:52Staggernont
00:07:53I'll be going there
00:07:55Oh, sorry
00:07:56That's good
00:07:57We'd better take my suitcases
00:07:59Yeah, well, he can carry them
00:08:00Not at all
00:08:02Why?
00:08:02He looks too old and decrepitous
00:08:04You carry them
00:08:05Well, I'm feeling a bit decrepitous myself
00:08:08Oh, sorry
00:08:09Oh, sorry
00:08:09Oh, sorry
00:08:10You should have forbidden the marriage
00:08:13I told you so
00:08:15Oh, you did
00:08:16Often
00:08:17But very likely Barbara knows all about it
00:08:21This is what Barbara knows about it
00:08:23He missed the train on purpose
00:08:26He's probably living with this woman
00:08:28Oh, nonsense, Constance
00:08:32Thank goodness
00:08:34Here she is
00:08:35Barbara
00:08:40My poor child
00:08:43Come in
00:08:45Is Peter here?
00:08:47No, dear
00:08:48He is not
00:08:49It is Barbara
00:08:51Yes
00:08:52I guess it would be
00:08:54I'm absolutely fagged out
00:08:56Father, there's some wine in the cupboard
00:08:58Oh, thank you very much, my dear
00:09:02That's very thoughtful of you
00:09:04For me, I mean
00:09:05Oh, I see
00:09:08Still, all the same
00:09:11Where is the cupboard?
00:09:12Oh, you know where it is
00:09:13Yes, of course, I do
00:09:26Now, my poor child
00:09:28Tell me exactly what happened
00:09:30Well, Peter and I went to Paddington
00:09:31We got into the train, both of us
00:09:33Then Peter got out and went to buy some papers
00:09:36The next thing I knew was the train began to move
00:09:39I jumped up and put my head through the window
00:09:41Good heavens
00:09:44The window was open
00:09:45Oh, I see
00:09:47Will you stop fiddling and get the wine?
00:09:52I've got it
00:09:53Peter was standing with his back to the train
00:09:55Talking to a young woman
00:09:57She was no one I knew
00:09:58What did you do?
00:10:00What could I do?
00:10:01I shouted and waved
00:10:03And no one took the slightest notice of me
00:10:05Except one offensive-looking man who waved back
00:10:08You should have rung the alarm bell
00:10:10Oh, I don't suppose he'd have heard it
00:10:13The wine
00:10:14Gone, dear
00:10:17I got out at Reading
00:10:18And wired you and came straight home
00:10:20Oh, Mother
00:10:22What do you think has really happened?
00:10:25I had to the lady
00:10:26A little, um, dog
00:10:30Dog?
00:10:31The wine
00:10:32Yes
00:10:32Right
00:10:33Ring up Gamble's Garage
00:10:50We may find out something from them
00:10:52Gamble's Garage?
00:10:56Yes
00:10:57Oh, right
00:10:59That's what I said, didn't I?
00:11:01We seem to be walking for hours
00:11:05Yes
00:11:06I don't think I've got any feet left
00:11:08Come on, old boy
00:11:11Where is this pub?
00:11:13Down the road
00:11:15Rim the lane
00:11:17Past the steps
00:11:20And where land?
00:11:22Yes
00:11:22You mean along a way
00:11:24All right, all right, all right
00:11:27I've got it
00:11:29Um
00:11:29I'll speak
00:11:30Oh
00:11:31That'll be a nice change
00:11:33But for once in a way
00:11:35Let me have a say
00:11:37I think we should wire
00:11:39We ought to inquire
00:11:40Are you trying to be funny?
00:11:41Oh, Lord
00:11:42Very wise
00:11:43All the same
00:11:44If father would suggest anything
00:11:46What?
00:11:50Well, of course I'm here
00:11:51Is that, um
00:11:53Is that, um
00:11:55Whatever the number is
00:12:03Oh, give it to me
00:12:04Leave it, leave it, leave it
00:12:06Are you, um
00:12:08A thingamabobs watching them?
00:12:11Oh, get out
00:12:12Good gracious
00:12:16How much further is it?
00:12:19It'll be dark soon
00:12:20There, there be a second one
00:12:23Yonder
00:12:24Yonder
00:12:25It looks very desolate
00:12:27It looks absolutely obsolete
00:12:30Where is this place?
00:12:33Oh
00:12:33Hmm
00:12:34Yes
00:12:35Thank you
00:12:36What, Mother, quickly?
00:12:37The car broke down
00:12:38They went off together
00:12:39To the nearest hotel
00:12:40The chauffeur got a lift
00:12:41And telephone gambles
00:12:42But where is this hotel?
00:12:44A place called
00:12:45Maiden Blotten
00:12:46I shall go there straight away
00:12:48Not tonight, dear
00:12:49You can go by the first train tomorrow
00:12:50But that may be too late
00:12:52Oh, why do you think
00:12:54You'd be too late
00:12:55Even if you did go tonight?
00:12:56You seem very experienced
00:12:59No, just an ordinary
00:13:01Public school education
00:13:02I can't believe
00:13:04There's anything wrong
00:13:05I do love him
00:13:07We were so happy
00:13:09There you are, you see
00:13:11You see what you've done
00:13:12You've made her cry
00:13:13Now, now, come, come now
00:13:15Dry eyes now
00:13:17Dry eyes
00:13:17Come on
00:13:18Besides
00:13:19You don't know
00:13:21That there's anything
00:13:22To cry for yet
00:13:23Part
00:13:23Well, part of you
00:13:26Just because
00:13:28A fella
00:13:29Happens to meet a girl
00:13:31Accidentally
00:13:32It doesn't necessarily
00:13:33Oh, Daddy
00:13:34Then you don't really think
00:13:35He went off with her on purpose
00:13:36Well, I don't know
00:13:39I haven't seen the woman yet
00:13:41Oh
00:13:41Now, now
00:13:42Come, come now
00:13:43Stop that
00:13:44Come on
00:13:44Here, I'll drink this up
00:13:46That'll do you good
00:13:47No, thank you
00:13:48I don't want any now
00:13:49You don't?
00:13:51Well, that's extraordinary
00:13:51It seems such a waste
00:13:53Put that down
00:13:55And you stop nagging at me
00:13:58Well, you deserve it
00:14:00I get it
00:14:01You've got all you deserve
00:14:03Now, don't you two quarrel
00:14:04That won't help
00:14:07Quite right, dear
00:14:08Well, then
00:14:09Whatever happens
00:14:10We'll stay as we are
00:14:12Peaceful and united
00:14:14We must not have words
00:14:17In front of the child
00:14:18I don't want to
00:14:19Nor do I
00:14:20I've always been a family man
00:14:24And among all things
00:14:27I count
00:14:28Love and peace in the home
00:14:31Thank you, Daddy
00:14:33I do love to hear you say that
00:14:36Yes
00:14:38All right, then
00:14:40That's how it's for me
00:14:42So you stop it, dear
00:14:44Now, don't you worry
00:14:55Anymore, Mother
00:14:56I'll go to this hotel
00:14:58At Maidenblotten
00:14:59First thing tomorrow morning
00:15:00I can get a very early train
00:15:02From Paddington
00:15:03Kate?
00:15:05Kate?
00:15:05Kate?
00:15:06Now
00:15:14We must go at once
00:15:16We've time to catch a night train
00:15:18What the deuce do you intend doing?
00:15:22I intend to get to that hotel tonight
00:15:25I know that man
00:15:26And I mean to know that woman
00:15:28Catch them at the hotel
00:15:31But they'll have gone to bed
00:15:32I know they will
00:15:34That's just the point
00:15:35So that's where you intend
00:15:38To walk in and catch them
00:15:39Of course it is
00:15:41Do you mean to tell me
00:15:43That you're going to
00:15:45Burst into this woman's bedroom?
00:15:48Yes
00:15:48Oh, I see
00:15:50Oh, well, in that case
00:15:53Perhaps I'd better come, too
00:16:05Year B
00:16:15At last
00:16:16Yes, for what miles
00:16:18Look at my shoes
00:16:19Oh, I don't look at them all the time
00:16:22Just look at them
00:16:23And carry on with the conversation
00:16:24What a place
00:16:26Yes
00:16:26Tell me, does anything ever happen on this road?
00:16:30Put each pinch, pass by year
00:16:32Oh
00:16:32Is that all?
00:16:34Well, there you are
00:16:35If you can't eat your thinking
00:16:36Gosh
00:16:39Well
00:16:41I expect we can get some food of sorts
00:16:44I doubt it
00:16:45Even the pigs pass by
00:16:47Good evening
00:17:06Can you tell me where I can find the landlord?
00:17:08Not yet
00:17:09I'm his widow
00:17:09Oh
00:17:10I'm sorry
00:17:11Well, can we stay here for a bit?
00:17:13I'm completely occupied
00:17:15Oh, we are sorry if you're busy
00:17:17But I tell you
00:17:17I'm completely occupied
00:17:19Oh, you mean you're full up?
00:17:21Completely occupied
00:17:22Oh, hell
00:17:23Well, can we get some food here?
00:17:25Not if you blast me
00:17:26He's sorry, sorry
00:17:28He didn't mean you to hear
00:17:29Whether I hear or no
00:17:31It all goes down in the book
00:17:33The book?
00:17:34What book?
00:17:36The book
00:17:36From which there is no rubbing out
00:17:39Oh, how dreadful
00:17:42Well, where's the nearest town?
00:17:44Down, Blotten
00:17:45Five miles on
00:17:46Five miles
00:17:47Well, haven't you got a cab
00:17:49Or a cart
00:17:49Or an ox
00:17:50Or anything that is yours?
00:17:52No such thing
00:17:53Well, isn't there a telephone?
00:17:55Yes, sit down, Blotten
00:17:56George, my old sportsman
00:18:04All the best
00:18:07George?
00:18:10What?
00:18:11Where are you?
00:18:12In the bathroom
00:18:13What are you doing?
00:18:15What?
00:18:16What are you doing?
00:18:19Oh
00:18:20Listen
00:18:23How many more times
00:18:36Am I to tell you to hurry up?
00:18:38Well, I haven't had any dinner
00:18:40Your daughter's on the brink of disaster
00:18:43Your daughter's on the brink of disaster
00:18:43And you burble about dinner
00:18:45Besides, I gave you a biscuit
00:18:47A biscuit?
00:18:49What do you think I am?
00:18:51Something at the zoo?
00:18:52Yes, or ought to be
00:18:54Now do you want any more?
00:18:56Yes
00:18:56What?
00:18:57Nuts
00:18:58Nuts
00:18:58Oh
00:19:01Now then, stop that
00:19:04Stop that
00:19:06Stop it
00:19:06If there's one thing that you do
00:19:09That annoys me more than another
00:19:11It is that
00:19:12This is hopeless
00:19:21Surely the old woman will give us some food
00:19:24But she said she wouldn't
00:19:26She said she would if you didn't blaspheme
00:19:28Oh, blaspheme
00:19:29Now go in and ask her again
00:19:31Without blaspheming
00:19:33Well, it's very difficult
00:19:34But I'll try
00:19:35Off you go
00:19:36Off you go
00:19:38Do you think I keep my hotel open
00:19:41To couples living in shame?
00:19:43We're only hiking together
00:19:44Couples don't hike together without shame
00:19:47Off you go and off you stay
00:19:49Excuse me
00:19:51We've hiked a long way to get here
00:19:53And quite without shame
00:19:55So, may we have some food?
00:19:58I take it you are married?
00:20:01Of course we are married
00:20:02Yes, both of us
00:20:05Well, come inside
00:20:06You'll excuse me being careful
00:20:10But one spit
00:20:11I wonder who bit her
00:20:14I just said there's a drop of soup left over
00:20:24Left over from what?
00:20:32Don't annoy her, Peter
00:20:36Or we shan't even get the soup
00:20:38Well, where do you suppose we are going to sleep?
00:20:42Perhaps there's a cottage somewhere
00:20:43Oh, do ask
00:20:45Ask who?
00:20:47Oh, look
00:20:49There's something
00:20:51Allow me, will you?
00:20:56Now, look here, my man
00:20:57Tell me
00:20:59Is this a big village or a small village?
00:21:04No, sir
00:21:05Ah, well, what I mean is
00:21:07Do you know anywhere where we could put up?
00:21:09In the village?
00:21:10No, sir
00:21:11Isn't there a cottage or something?
00:21:14Cottage?
00:21:15No, ma'am
00:21:16There'll be only four cottages
00:21:17And in them they already sleeps unhealthy in my opinion
00:21:21Unhealthy?
00:21:22Six and seven in the bedroom, mostly
00:21:25Oh, I see, you mean a sort of whist drive?
00:21:29Oh, really?
00:21:30Aye, sir
00:21:31Well, uh, can I have some beer?
00:21:35Aye, sir
00:21:36Oh, then
00:21:36I suppose you have some rare country beer here?
00:21:39Aye, sir
00:21:39Hmm, I see
00:21:41All change, all change here
00:21:43All, all change
00:21:45All change
00:21:46Change
00:21:47All change here
00:21:48But I want to go to Downblokton
00:21:51Oh, that ain't on this line at all
00:21:54You ought to change that ready
00:21:55Well, why didn't they say so?
00:21:59George?
00:22:00Ah, ah
00:22:01George!
00:22:01Ah, stand back there
00:22:03Stand right back there
00:22:04Go on
00:22:05Stand right over there
00:22:06Don't you stare at me like that
00:22:08Oh, dear
00:22:08Oh
00:22:09Good Lord, I
00:22:12I was dreaming I was a Christian among the lions
00:22:16Well, where are we?
00:22:19This is Piddock
00:22:20What?
00:22:21Piddock
00:22:22Is that it?
00:22:24No
00:22:25How high is it to Maiden Blotten?
00:22:27Lummi, I don't know
00:22:28Why not?
00:22:30And don't call my wife Lummi
00:22:32Sure, there's little respect for a lady, can't you?
00:22:36Even if she has gone and made a Marine's multicolored muddle of the whole everything
00:22:41Go on, get out, can't you?
00:22:45You must get a car
00:22:46Where is there a car?
00:22:48Doubtful if you get one down here
00:22:49You might try pinhorn down the road
00:22:53What?
00:22:54Pinhorn
00:22:54You hear that?
00:22:58Come along
00:22:59Get my bag
00:23:00We'll go down the road and try pinhorn
00:23:02I'd like to give you something to try
00:23:05Any other husband would have dished you up a spot of weed killer
00:23:11Oh, Gladys
00:23:14How many rooms are there in this hotel?
00:23:16Two, sir
00:23:17Two?
00:23:17Number one and number two
00:23:19We're in number two, Peter
00:23:20Oh, I see
00:23:21What's number one doing?
00:23:23There's an old lady in there, sir
00:23:25She's bedridden
00:23:26Oh, poor dear old lady
00:23:28Is she suffering?
00:23:30Yes, she's got...
00:23:32Yes, that must be rather painful, mustn't it?
00:23:35Yes
00:23:36Is there anything after this?
00:23:39There's some chaise
00:23:41Oh, I see
00:23:41What is that chaise?
00:23:43She means cheese
00:23:45It's a very, very old Cheshire word
00:23:47What kind of chaise?
00:23:50Well, I don't think we'd have any of that
00:23:55What's around?
00:24:11You've got a car
00:24:12Well, I know that
00:24:13What about it?
00:24:14Well, I want it
00:24:15I've got to go somewhere, isn't it?
00:24:17Who says so?
00:24:19My wife
00:24:19It's getting pretty late, ain't it?
00:24:22I don't want to know what the time is
00:24:24Well, where do you want to go to?
00:24:26Well, it's, uh, to, um
00:24:27It's a girl's, uh, maiden's blotting pad or something
00:24:33I don't know
00:24:33Well, how far is it?
00:24:35Well, how do I know?
00:24:36If I knew how far it was
00:24:38I should know the name of the place, wouldn't I?
00:24:40Not necessarily
00:24:41What?
00:24:43Not necessarily
00:24:44Now, take China, for instance
00:24:46What sort of China?
00:24:47You know where China is
00:24:49But you don't know how far it is
00:24:51Not strictly speaking
00:24:52So to put it
00:24:53More or less
00:24:54To guess at it
00:24:54Roughly as it were
00:24:55Af-hazard
00:24:56Well, I'd like
00:24:57I'd like some of that, too
00:25:01Some of what?
00:25:02Some of what you've been drinking
00:25:04Oh, hold on
00:25:05Look, I'll be careful
00:25:12You nearly had me off
00:25:13Oh, my boob
00:25:15I think, madam, I'll take the dog now
00:25:17And there'll be this book to sign
00:25:19Oh, I suppose that's the book from which there's no rubbing out
00:25:22Oh
00:25:23What name is it?
00:25:25Oh, the name, yes, I tried, yes
00:25:26Um, she's got it
00:25:27Hickett
00:25:29Oh, good evening, Mrs. Spoker
00:25:33I'm having a terrible time tonight with my motorbike
00:25:36I wonder if you can give me a little oil
00:25:38I want oiling
00:25:39Well, you can't come here and get oiled
00:25:42Hello
00:25:44Why, good gracious me
00:25:47Surely it's Mrs. Hickett
00:25:49Well
00:25:50How do you do?
00:25:52Mr. Slowly Jones
00:25:53Mr. Jones
00:25:54Yes
00:25:55The first time I've seen you since you got married
00:25:57Yes
00:25:58Fancy meeting you here
00:25:59Oh, bad luck
00:26:02And this, of course, is your husband
00:26:04First time we've met, isn't it?
00:26:08I hope so
00:26:08I'm so delighted to meet you
00:26:10Oh, not at all
00:26:11Being an MP must be very hard work
00:26:14Yes
00:26:14I followed your career in the house, you know
00:26:17Oh, you mustn't follow me apart like that
00:26:20Well, well, I suppose
00:26:23I'd better be pushing off
00:26:24That is, if you're sure I can't get what I want here
00:26:26Well, good night, Mrs. Hickett
00:26:28Good night, Mrs.
00:26:29Oh, I say, hello by Christopher
00:26:31What a nice little dog
00:26:33Your little dog, Mrs. Hickett
00:26:34Yes
00:26:35Her dear little dog
00:26:36Nice little dog
00:26:38Pretty little dog
00:26:39Good night, little dog
00:26:40Good night, little man
00:26:41Oh, sorry
00:26:42May I take the dog to the stable?
00:26:46If you kindly sign the register
00:26:48Alfred
00:26:52Put this in the stable
00:26:54Aye, Mrs. Spoker
00:26:55This is terrible
00:26:57That person knows you
00:26:59You needn't worry about him
00:27:00He won't remember you
00:27:02I hope not
00:27:03Then there's this register book
00:27:05I can't sign your husband's name
00:27:07I'll sign it
00:27:09You don't write very clear
00:27:24No, and you see
00:27:25We've just had some very thick soup
00:27:27I expect, madam, you'll be ready to retire now
00:27:30Yes
00:27:31Yes, I think I will
00:27:32Good night
00:27:33Shall I come up too, dear?
00:27:50Yes, please
00:27:50I was talking to my wife
00:27:53Yes
00:27:53The bedroom is on the next floor, isn't it?
00:27:56It is
00:27:57Oh, I see, yes
00:27:58The one above this
00:27:59Yes
00:28:00And the bedridden old lady, is she on the same floor?
00:28:04Next to you
00:28:05So you'll kindly observe as much quiet as possible
00:28:08Oh, I shan't take you in as much at all
00:28:10And where do you sleep, Mrs. Spicer?
00:28:14Then why do you want to know?
00:28:15Oh, did I say that?
00:28:17I don't want to know at all, thank you
00:28:19I shall hear you if you call
00:28:20Oh, I'm not likely to call on you
00:28:22Call you, you know what I mean?
00:28:24Yes
00:28:25Well, thank you
00:28:26That'll be it
00:28:27Oh
00:28:28Alfred
00:28:33Have you lit the fire in number two?
00:28:39Hi, Mrs. Spoger
00:28:39Well, what do you want the fire fire?
00:28:41I don't know
00:28:41On a summer's night
00:28:42Have you locked the back door?
00:28:43Hi, Mrs. Spoger
00:28:44And have you done all those things that you ought to have done?
00:28:46Hi, Mrs. Spoger
00:28:47Then turn out the lights and go to bed
00:28:49Hi, Mrs. Spoger
00:28:50Is this it?
00:29:00No, we took the wrong road
00:29:02What do you mean
00:29:04We've took the wrong road?
00:29:06I haven't taken it, have I?
00:29:09That's simply a matter of a figure of speech
00:29:11Yes, well, it's the kind of figure I don't like
00:29:14You're in this car, ain't you?
00:29:17Yes, and I don't mind telling you
00:29:19I'd rather be in my hearse
00:29:20Take alpine exploration, for instance
00:29:23What?
00:29:25There's a party of alpine climbers
00:29:27All rope together
00:29:28One has his foot slip
00:29:30And takes a toss right down the abyss
00:29:32What are you talking about?
00:29:35The whole party goes off at the top of the mountain
00:29:37And falls well upon its bottom
00:29:39Are you trying to tell me a dirty story?
00:29:44So it's no use you saying we haven't took the wrong road
00:29:47Because we have
00:29:48Well, get off of them
00:29:50I've a darn good mind to get off my seat
00:29:52Well, I've been off mine half the time
00:29:55Will you stop that?
00:29:58Hold on, I shall have to back
00:29:59What the places do you think you're doing?
00:30:04Oh
00:30:13What are you doing now?
00:30:16Well, I was looking for a melon
00:30:19Melon?
00:30:20Yes
00:30:20What may you be doing with that blanket?
00:30:23Blanket?
00:30:24Oh, you mean the blanket?
00:30:26Oh, yes, that's right
00:30:26I'm just going to slip out to the stable
00:30:28And wrap the little dog in the little blanket
00:30:32What's in my best blanket?
00:30:34Oh, this is your best one
00:30:36I'm sorry, I thought it was the other one
00:30:38Well, never mind
00:30:39Good night
00:30:40Oh
00:30:41I'm sorry, I thought I'd gone
00:30:44Yes
00:30:45Well, that's all right
00:30:48Excuse me
00:30:49Thank you
00:30:50Well, it doesn't matter
00:30:52It doesn't matter
00:30:53Never mind about the little dog
00:30:55He'll be all right
00:30:56I thought you said it was a she
00:30:58What?
00:30:59Oh, yes, it was
00:30:59But that was years ago
00:31:01Yes
00:31:12I'll make inquiries
00:31:14You, you stay here and rest
00:31:16Don't stand there babbling
00:31:18You go and find out the way
00:31:20Well, what's up?
00:31:40Oh, help
00:31:41Please help
00:31:42There's a good fella
00:31:43Something disastrous has occurred
00:31:45Why what?
00:31:47My poor wife in that car
00:31:49What's the matter with her?
00:31:51Shh
00:31:52Not so loud
00:31:53She's fainted
00:31:54Why?
00:31:57Why?
00:31:58Well, why not?
00:32:01Well, I'll have a look at her
00:32:02Oh, I wouldn't do that
00:32:03She looks awful
00:32:04Look here
00:32:05I believe you're trying to kid me
00:32:07Into serving you with a drink
00:32:09What?
00:32:11What?
00:32:13You calling me a liar?
00:32:14I don't know yet
00:32:15I'll have a look
00:32:16How dare you doubt my word?
00:32:30I'm very sorry, sir
00:32:31You see, we get a good man here
00:32:32Trying it on
00:32:33Oh, so you thought I was that sort of person, did you?
00:32:36Oh, no, sir, no
00:32:37Come in
00:32:39Now, perhaps you'd better take the lady
00:32:49A small glass of brandy
00:32:50Oh, I think she'd prefer a large glass of port
00:32:54Oh
00:32:55There you are, sir
00:33:03Oh, thank you very much
00:33:05That's very kind of you
00:33:06I'll settle for this when I bring the glass back
00:33:09I'll settle for this when I bring the glass back
00:33:39Thank you
00:33:40Well, dinner good?
00:33:42Well, as a matter of fact
00:33:43She really doesn't know she's had it
00:33:46She's very bad
00:33:47It's made me feel rather faint myself
00:33:50I suppose
00:33:52If I, uh, if I stayed here tonight
00:33:56I could, I could have, uh, have something to take
00:33:59All right
00:34:00But hadn't you better bring the lady in?
00:34:03Well, that's going to be rather difficult
00:34:05I think I'd, I'd like a little something first
00:34:08No
00:34:09Well, as regards, rooms
00:34:11I can let you have two singles or a double
00:34:13Oh, I think I'd prefer a double
00:34:15George?
00:34:17By God, she'd better
00:34:18Come out of this
00:34:19All right, all right
00:34:21Wait a minute
00:34:22How, um, how much was that?
00:34:25One and four, please
00:34:26One and four
00:34:27Little good enough to keep the change
00:34:31Oh, thank you, thank you
00:34:32Are we, oh, are we going the right way for, um
00:34:35Maiden Blotten?
00:34:37Oh, no, no, you're going the wrong way
00:34:39No, no
00:34:39No
00:34:40Oh, very wily
00:34:41Now we know
00:34:43We didn't come here for nothing
00:34:45Come in, come in
00:34:49Oh, it's you
00:34:54Yes, it's me
00:34:55What's the matter with you now?
00:34:57I can't sleep in the parlour
00:34:59Nonsense, Peter
00:35:00Why not?
00:35:02Because I can't get in the parlour
00:35:03It's locked
00:35:05Where have you been all this time?
00:35:07I haven't been anywhere all the time
00:35:08But I've been everywhere where one can
00:35:11And where one can, one can't sleep
00:35:13What about the back door?
00:35:16I've been through there
00:35:17Where does it lead to?
00:35:19To the back
00:35:20Hence the expression, back door
00:35:22Well, come in
00:35:24No, no, no, no
00:35:25I, I mustn't
00:35:26Don't be so silly
00:35:27Come in, come in
00:35:28Oh, I can't do that
00:35:30I hope Ben's is all right
00:35:35Oh, that's all you think of
00:35:37Oh, what about the stables for you?
00:35:43I've tested the stables
00:35:44Did you go in the stables?
00:35:46One doesn't have to
00:35:48I tested them from the back door
00:35:50I suppose you can't sleep on the stairs
00:35:53You're right
00:35:54I've tried the stairs
00:35:56And I cannot sleep there on
00:35:58Well, there must be somewhere
00:35:59I've been through every door that isn't locked
00:36:02Even the bedridden old ladies
00:36:04Good heavens, what happened?
00:36:07Nothing
00:36:07She just cocked an eye at me
00:36:09And murmured, he knows
00:36:11I'd give anything for a bed like yours
00:36:18Then you can't be hard to please
00:36:20It goes up and down in the middle
00:36:22Like the lamp of a camel
00:36:23Only it does it twice
00:36:27That's a dromedary, isn't it?
00:36:31Well, I think I must be rather restful
00:36:33After you've worked yourself in the right position
00:36:35Is it raining?
00:36:41Raining?
00:36:42I should think it is
00:36:43It's pouring all over the place
00:36:45I pity anyone who's out on a night like this
00:36:50Yes, I know
00:36:51That's all very well
00:36:52But what about me?
00:36:54Never mind about you
00:36:55You do something to stop this leaking roof
00:36:58I'm getting saturated
00:37:01If you don't like it, out you get
00:37:03And don't you be rude to my wife
00:37:06You keep your blasted elbow out of my rings
00:37:09I've had enough for one night
00:37:12You've had enough, have you?
00:37:16By Jove, I wish I had
00:37:18And if you don't get back and drive on
00:37:22I'll drive the thing myself
00:37:24Oh, no, you won't
00:37:25Won't I? If I get, I'll show you
00:37:27Come on
00:37:29Hello
00:37:30Hello
00:37:30Look here, Peter
00:37:46There is only one thing to be done
00:37:48Take this pillow
00:37:50And with your blanket, get down on the floor
00:37:52And go to sleep
00:37:53But supposing anybody found out
00:37:56To any decent-minded person
00:37:58There is nothing wrong
00:37:59When you're sleeping on the floor of my room
00:38:01Is there?
00:38:02Yes, but where's the decent-minded person?
00:38:04I can't talk to him
00:38:08Upstate es is what he had
00:38:10I can't tell you
00:38:11I don't want to bop
00:38:12To be out
00:38:12As soon as I can
00:38:13You're a OG
00:38:13To the room
00:38:15Whatever
00:38:15That was why
00:38:16I had to go
00:38:17To be out
00:38:18But you don't want to go
00:38:19And it was where
00:38:19Are you dealing with
00:38:20You're dealing with
00:38:21Obviously,
00:38:21I'll be acting
00:38:21What the hell
00:38:22For me
00:38:23Do you
00:38:24You Pyram
00:38:24Oh, my God
00:38:24I can't
00:38:25info
00:38:25Do you
00:38:25I can't
00:38:26I can't
00:38:28this is the worst of sleeping in other people's bedrooms
00:38:44you can get well under the washstand
00:38:46you'll be all right there
00:38:48on the contrary
00:38:52the wind is also blowing straight into the washstand
00:38:55hurry up Peter and don't footle about
00:38:58dash it all let me pick my own pitch
00:39:00if I lie on the floor all night
00:39:03in the teeth of a gale
00:39:06I shall die
00:39:08if you never have anything worse happen to you
00:39:14than to have to sleep on the floor of an inn
00:39:16you'll find my body
00:39:18beneath the shade of the old washing stand
00:39:20huh
00:40:27Why don't you try lying the other way round?
00:40:40That's a good idea.
00:40:41I'm round.
00:40:57Is that better?
00:40:59Better than what?
00:41:04Here, don't you touch nothing.
00:41:06Why, Dad, I'll touch you in a minute if you don't hurry up.
00:41:09George, what was that noise?
00:41:11The engine cracked one of its nuts.
00:41:16Come on, put that tin lid on and come back here and let's get on with it.
00:41:20All very well.
00:41:22But no matter what your job, it should be followed at with proper conscientiousness.
00:41:26Stop that.
00:41:28Take ivory carving, for instance.
00:41:30What?
00:41:31I said take ivory carving.
00:41:33Stop that, I tell you.
00:41:35I don't want anything more to do with you, Mr...
00:41:38Small piece of whatever your name is.
00:41:41No more dunk time with you blinking well neither.
00:41:44This engine wants to be getting more juice.
00:41:47Oh.
00:41:48Well, in that case, I can sympathize with it.
00:41:54Oh, Peter.
00:41:56I'm sorry I forgot.
00:41:57Would you mind opening the window?
00:41:59Do you want me to die?
00:42:01We must have air.
00:42:02I've got some, thank you.
00:42:05All right, then.
00:42:07If you don't want to do it, I'll have to do it myself.
00:42:11No, no, no, don't do that.
00:42:12No, no.
00:42:12You mustn't do a thing like that.
00:42:14I'll do it.
00:42:21You stay where you are.
00:42:25After all, a little walk might bring the blood back to my feet.
00:42:32Open the window, can't you?
00:42:57There's a catch somewhere.
00:43:03Yes, I think there is.
00:43:05Push it from the top.
00:43:09I can't, it won't.
00:43:11Then pull it from the bottom.
00:43:14Gosh.
00:43:16Fix it halfway open.
00:43:19It won't.
00:43:20It has not one of those little things.
00:43:24Oh, never mind.
00:43:25Leave it.
00:43:25Leave that blind alone.
00:43:40And get back to bed.
00:43:47Isn't it time to get up yet?
00:43:48I'm sick of this spot.
00:43:56I'm going to find a fresh position.
00:43:57I'm going to find a fresh position.
00:43:57Here we go.
00:44:06Let's go.
00:44:06Okay.
00:44:07Peter, I believe the chimney is going to smoke.
00:44:36Thank you very much. You're too puffed, mate.
00:44:41Of course, Peter. That smoke must be caused by the window.
00:44:49Well, I'm not going to sleep under the window. I can tell you that.
00:44:59Peter. Peter, it's Fensy. Can't you hear her?
00:45:05No.
00:45:07Oh, Peter, please, go down and fetch her.
00:45:11No, thanks.
00:45:13Oh, Peter, please.
00:45:16Oh, oh, my left leg's gone numb.
00:45:20Hold on, my left side's numb. I can't do that.
00:45:26Oh, why make such a fuss about it?
00:45:29Oh.
00:45:34Peter, have you no regard for dumb animals?
00:45:37Yes, when they are dumb.
00:45:39Poor Fensy.
00:45:40You can easily get to the stables. You said so yourself.
00:45:46Yes.
00:45:47Bring her in your arms and don't let her bark.
00:45:51Yes.
00:45:53If I find her, she'll never bark again.
00:45:56Look, my face!
00:46:00Come on.
00:46:03Don't be careful with those buckets.
00:46:05The poor twigs won't get their food.
00:46:08Don't be careful with those buckets.
00:46:20The poor pigs won't get their food.
00:46:23I'm sorry.
00:46:30Was that Mr. Eckett I heard out here just now?
00:46:33It's only to me much more like a can.
00:46:35It was a can. Place outside the door number one.
00:46:38What is the meaning of this?
00:46:40My husband has gone to fetch the dog. She was howling.
00:46:56Good Lord, a racing stable.
00:47:05Fancy! Fancy, come here! Fancy, come here!
00:47:08Come on down now! Come on!
00:47:10Fancy, come on down!
00:47:12Come on, Fancy, come on!
00:47:16Fancy! Oh, you fancy!
00:47:20What's he up to now?
00:47:22And what's the meaning of my best blanket and pillow being all over the floor?
00:47:26My husband was trying to make a bed there.
00:47:29A bed?
00:47:30For the dog, you see.
00:47:32Oh, really? I'll soon check that.
00:47:35Peter!
00:47:36Peter!
00:47:37Peter!
00:47:38Have you got Benzie?
00:47:39No, I haven't!
00:47:40She's vaulted!
00:47:41Come back!
00:47:42Mrs. Fogger is on the warpath!
00:47:44Well, look at me!
00:47:45I'm not on a path at all!
00:47:46You'd better come back!
00:47:47Come back!
00:47:48Mrs. Fogger is on the warpath!
00:47:49Well, are you finished?
00:47:50Yes, I'm finished!
00:47:51Where is the dog?
00:47:52It's run away!
00:47:53I pray have little sleep!
00:47:54Peter!
00:47:55Peter!
00:47:56Have you got Benzie?
00:47:57No, I haven't!
00:47:58She's vaulted!
00:47:59Come back!
00:48:00Mrs. Fogger is on the warpath!
00:48:01Well, look at me!
00:48:02I'm not on a path at all!
00:48:03You'd better come back!
00:48:05Besides, it's pouring with rain!
00:48:07I know that!
00:48:13Well, are you finished?
00:48:14Yes, I'm finished!
00:48:15Where is the dog?
00:48:16It's run away!
00:48:17And pray have little stay away!
00:48:19You keep your prayers for yourself!
00:48:21That's what I'm going to do!
00:48:27I say, have a care there, I say!
00:48:29Have a care!
00:48:30Yes, all right, all right!
00:48:31And you stop fiddling about with that thing!
00:48:33And listen to me, do you hear?
00:48:36Um, but do you know a place called, uh...
00:48:39Called, uh...
00:48:41What is it?
00:48:42Elchidonia!
00:48:43What?
00:48:44You mean to tell me you don't know where it is?
00:48:46Where you are going?
00:48:47Maiden Blotten!
00:48:48Maiden Blotten!
00:48:49Maiden Blotten!
00:48:50Maiden Blotten!
00:48:51Don't you interfere!
00:48:52Oh yes, Maiden Blotten!
00:48:53But I say, can you help me?
00:48:55I need lubrication!
00:48:57Ha ho, I'll be again, so do I!
00:48:59Maiden Blotten!
00:49:00Maiden Blotten!
00:49:01We wish to find the Maiden Blotten Hotel.
00:49:04Hotel, madam? There's no hotel there.
00:49:06It's a very small village.
00:49:07The Hamlet, in fact.
00:49:09Its inhabitants barely number a score.
00:49:12I don't want a tourist guide to the place.
00:49:15I just want to know where it is, that's all.
00:49:18Only just down the road?
00:49:20Are you sure you can't help me to get oiled?
00:49:23Not unless you come, too.
00:49:26You'll find an inn.
00:49:28You bet your sweet life, I will.
00:49:31If there's one to be found.
00:49:46Have a care there, I say! Have a care!
00:49:52But Peter, you're wet!
00:49:55Of course I'm wet.
00:49:57You can't go dog hunting in the rain without getting wet.
00:50:03You must take off those wet clothes at once.
00:50:06Not in here.
00:50:08You can't catch pneumonia.
00:50:10I can.
00:50:11Now, don't be so silly. Go on.
00:50:14You can't sleep in wet clothes.
00:50:16All right. If you're so modest, I will put out the light.
00:50:22Well, you needn't have done that.
00:50:24I've only got to take off my coat and my shoes.
00:50:31Have you got your shoes off?
00:50:37Not yet. It's difficult to balance. I've only got one foot on the ground.
00:50:41Then take it off.
00:50:43Oh!
00:50:44Oh!
00:50:45Oh!
00:50:46Oh!
00:50:47Good heavens! What's happened?
00:50:49Find the light!
00:50:50Find the light!
00:50:51All right! All right!
00:50:52Find the light!
00:50:53Oh!
00:50:54Oh!
00:50:55Oh!
00:50:56What have you done now?
00:50:57I am embarrassed and caught her in the jug.
00:50:59Well, it made a terrible noise.
00:51:00I think it only sounded loud.
00:51:01Is the jug broken?
00:51:02Yes, I think it is a bit.
00:51:03But the handle's all right.
00:51:04I'll soon see to this.
00:51:05What do you have to do now, may I ask?
00:51:06Oh!
00:51:07My husband was undressing and knocked over the jug.
00:51:08Oh, don't worry. I'll pay for the jug.
00:51:09Oh!
00:51:10Oh!
00:51:11Oh!
00:51:12Oh!
00:51:13Oh!
00:51:14Oh!
00:51:15Oh!
00:51:16Oh!
00:51:17Oh!
00:51:18Oh!
00:51:19Oh!
00:51:20Oh!
00:51:21Oh!
00:51:22Oh!
00:51:23Oh!
00:51:24Oh!
00:51:25Oh!
00:51:26Oh!
00:51:27Oh!
00:51:28Oh!
00:51:29Oh!
00:51:30Oh!
00:51:31Oh!
00:51:32Oh!
00:51:33Oh!
00:51:34Oh!
00:51:35Go away, ladies!
00:51:37Oh!
00:51:41Now, we've gone and shukat number one.
00:51:42I'll go and settle her, eh?
00:51:46And when I come back,
00:51:48I suspect to find you in bed like a respectable man.
00:51:49C'mon, lady!
00:52:02Hurry up, Peter!
00:52:03take off those wet clothes but i can't take off my in here rubbish you can get behind that curtain
00:52:17we are absolutely and utterly compromised compromise nonsense what does she matter it isn't
00:52:36only she we are husband and wife in the register book i know peter but we're all right in the book
00:52:44from which there is no rubbing out you can laugh you'd laugh while rome fiddled and we've been
00:52:53identified by that parson chap of jenkins or whatever his dance any name is
00:53:02where is he peter look how i got my trousers off don't be childish bring your trousers here and
00:53:11press them under the mattress here i'll take them for you leave them alone i want to press them in the
00:53:19creases pressing people's box is about like that oh i i'm sorry sorry sorry all right coming here
00:53:30missing about like that gladys get you to bed all right and what is the meaning of that hasn't he
00:53:44got his night shirt yes go away will you why don't you look after him i knew how to manage my late
00:53:50husband no wonder he's late what is that noise
00:54:09what was that i don't know
00:54:14some drunk trying to get a drink
00:54:20this is very unexpected not in the least well now that you are here let me introduce you margaret
00:54:42this is my mother-in-law mrs bone this is major bone my father in ditto how do you know how do you
00:54:50do stop that won't you sit down i'm afraid the space is rather limited so you are the woman
00:55:00yes i am the woman and this is the man i admit that for the moment his costume is rather effeminate
00:55:10you shameless profligate you i find you here in this room with this scarlet woman what color how dare you
00:55:21say a thing like that in a room like this you spend the night with your alleged wife she in bed and you
00:55:29do you have to do in a towel but my trousers are there where under the mattress if you want them allow me
00:55:40george stop that they will stay where they are till barbara comes in the morning barbara yes this
00:55:50will be evidence enough evidence of what yes well look here there isn't another room in the house
00:55:54they're all completely occupied oh this is all very restless out you go all of you i can't go out in
00:56:02the night in the middle of the rain yeah yeah i don't know who you are but this is my hotel and out you
00:56:07go and you with your lies and deceit and sin i quite agree and don't you interfere quite right oh and
00:56:14as for you out you go you you chic chic yes out you go all right all right i'll go quietly and you go too
00:56:26all of you but where to i can't stay here alone no you don't i mean my daughter to see this room as it
00:56:34is you can go into the parlor out you go oh it's a very pretty little thing
00:56:40thank you we've got to spend the night downstairs i don't mind anywhere george stop that let that
00:56:51creature alone and come with me
00:57:02yes i know that's all very well but you you thought of that before it happened
00:57:09how could i have thought of it before it happened when it hasn't happened how dare you come and
00:57:13disturb me just when i was comfortably settled for the night and how dare you try and drag a weak
00:57:20man away from his wife so you think i'm that kind of woman do you you poisonous-minded old witch
00:57:27what which oh oh this is insufferable
00:57:36what about uh going into the bar it's locked up
00:57:40well i i mean to say i'm i'm entitled to drink
00:57:46why i'm staying here aren't i yes i'm afraid so well you can try i'm going to bed
00:57:53what about picking the lock
00:58:06what about picking the lock i haven't got a pick i should like a drink i want to drown my sorrows
00:58:24quite right my boy it's the only thing for us let's combine george stop muttering i want to go to sleep
00:58:35well go there then for the love of mike i'm not stopping you go anywhere you like
00:58:50what was that it's all right my love i was only just going to try to sleep in the car
00:59:13so
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01:02:13i
01:02:15desire
01:02:17to wash
01:02:19have you a bathroom
01:02:21there's a tap upstairs
01:02:23a tap
01:02:29by
01:02:31that's been a dirty night
01:02:37this is bone
01:02:39i'm in a terrible fix
01:02:41spot and help me out will you
01:02:43it's all very well
01:02:45but it's no easy matter
01:02:47but she ought not to doubt me
01:02:49it isn't as if i were you
01:02:51no
01:02:52what
01:02:53what do you mean
01:02:55well i i mean
01:02:57my records pure
01:02:59well it isn't mine
01:03:01i like that
01:03:03sure am i
01:03:05trying to help you
01:03:07and you start to abuse me
01:03:09that's not the way to get systems
01:03:11why i don't mean that
01:03:13i mean you ought to know what i should say to her
01:03:15after all
01:03:17you're an expert
01:03:19do you really think so
01:03:21well that's very very nice of you
01:03:24that's all
01:03:25well i mean
01:03:27i i i i don't know
01:03:29it's very difficult you know it's not
01:03:31it's not really playing the game
01:03:33but oh
01:03:34what does it matter
01:03:35i'm a man of the world
01:03:37and you're a very nice boy
01:03:39oh please
01:03:40so i don't see why you shouldn't
01:03:42have the benefit of my experiences
01:03:44it ain't a bit of you see strength eh
01:03:46i know i know where he belongs
01:03:49to that
01:03:55now listen to me
01:03:57when barbara arrives
01:03:59you stand here
01:04:01looking bewildered
01:04:03and ill-used
01:04:05that'll be easier
01:04:07now the first thing she'll say
01:04:09will be peter
01:04:11what is this i hear
01:04:13what is this i hear
01:04:15what is this i hear
01:04:17yes
01:04:18they all say that
01:04:20oh
01:04:21why i i didn't know that
01:04:22oh lord yes
01:04:23you can lay the odds on that
01:04:25then you turn round to her and say
01:04:30it's nothing darling
01:04:33surely you know me better than that
01:04:36better than what
01:04:38better than what
01:04:40better than what
01:04:43better than what
01:04:45better than what
01:04:47what what
01:04:48oh
01:04:49oh
01:04:50oh
01:04:51better than what
01:04:52yes
01:04:53oh i wonder what you were talking about
01:04:56oh i'm sorry
01:04:57better than what she'd heard
01:05:00oh i see
01:05:01then she's heard something
01:05:05you but your sweet life she has
01:05:08oh
01:05:09then i'll step into the breach
01:05:12out of the bar
01:05:13oh thank you very much
01:05:15i thought
01:05:16and i'll say to her
01:05:19oh believe me barbara
01:05:22you're utterly wrong
01:05:24then you must tell her the tale
01:05:27what tale
01:05:29well the tale of the old iron pot
01:05:33what
01:05:34the old iron pot
01:05:36well i believe it
01:05:38that was another way of saying
01:05:41uh
01:05:42spin her the yarn
01:05:44ah
01:05:45this'll be a good one
01:05:48you say
01:05:50that hitchcock stayed here with his wife
01:05:54hitchcock
01:05:56you you mean hickett
01:05:58well
01:05:59hotskitt hitchcock hotskitt
01:06:01any body's matter
01:06:04you say that he stayed here with his wife
01:06:08and you pushed on and stayed elsewhere
01:06:11why don't bone that's fine
01:06:14shall we try it now
01:06:16well fine
01:06:17but i don't mind
01:06:18right you are now
01:06:19you be barbara
01:06:20well i don't know
01:06:21that's
01:06:22that's pretty difficult
01:06:23so i'll
01:06:24i'll have a poppy
01:06:25good
01:06:26well you stay here
01:06:28and i'll go out
01:06:30and come in
01:06:31as barbara
01:06:32yes
01:06:33good
01:06:34now supposing
01:06:35supposing she comes from here
01:06:36yes
01:06:37but that's the front door
01:06:42oh is it
01:06:43yes well there's no occasion to be as realistic as all that
01:06:47bewildered and ill used
01:07:01what's that
01:07:02oh that's in case she knocks
01:07:04yes she knocks
01:07:22barbara darling
01:07:23peter
01:07:24what is this i hear
01:07:26it's nothing darling
01:07:27surely you know me better than that
01:07:29ah
01:07:30then she'll say
01:07:32peter
01:07:33you've been false to me
01:07:35what
01:07:36that's good
01:07:37hold that
01:07:38hold that
01:07:39now
01:07:40now over me
01:07:42oh
01:07:43oh
01:07:44believe me barbara you're utterly wrong wrong
01:07:57and then you go on with the tale
01:07:59and you go back to the bar
01:08:01thank you very much
01:08:03that's a very nice kind thought of yours
01:08:05that's great bone
01:08:06then there's a visitor's book
01:08:07mr and mrs higgin not in my handwriting
01:08:09everything's cut and dried
01:08:11i've been put on my trousers
01:08:13now look here
01:08:14ah it's all right
01:08:15it's all right
01:08:16you needn't say it
01:08:17you're going to take something for instance
01:08:19oh
01:08:20thanks governor
01:08:21not at all
01:08:22i'll show you where it is
01:08:23bowden
01:08:28thank you bowden
01:08:29thank you
01:08:30it's all right my boy
01:08:32not at all
01:08:33i hope one of these days you'll be able to do as much for me
01:08:36now if you will kindly step it away
01:08:39step it away
01:08:48peter what is this i hear
01:08:50it's nothing darling
01:08:52surely you know me better than that
01:08:55it's nothing darling
01:08:56surely you know me better than that
01:08:58oh good morning are mr and mrs hickett still here
01:09:16i'm not yet open to the public quite enough trouble here without you
01:09:21trouble
01:09:22alfred if any of those persons attempt to leave mind they don't go without they pay
01:09:30surely she doesn't mean the hicketts
01:09:32why there's been trouble in and out of his bed all night he were he lost his dog he lost his trousers he grumbled up his room and he burst his jug
01:09:45lost his dog
01:09:48but
01:09:49why
01:09:50look
01:09:51well
01:09:55well
01:09:56well that's splendid
01:09:57the dog's been found
01:09:58they'll be delighted
01:10:00i'll go and tell them
01:10:02eh
01:10:03i
01:10:04i found her
01:10:06excuse me
01:10:07can you tell me the way to it
01:10:09hello
01:10:10where did you get that
01:10:18where the deuce did you get that dog
01:10:19i found her
01:10:20down along
01:10:21she belong near
01:10:23she belong to a lady
01:10:25well i know who she belongs to
01:10:26give her to me
01:10:27no no no you don't
01:10:28find envy delivering
01:10:30what
01:10:31look here
01:10:32no no no
01:10:34here
01:10:35here
01:10:36here
01:10:37no no no
01:10:38no
01:10:39will you give her to me
01:10:40no
01:10:41she belong in here
01:10:42he's quite right sir
01:10:44i called him myself to say the dog was found
01:10:46why what do you know about the dog
01:10:47it belongs to a man and his wife who was staying here for the night on their way to lady bunters
01:10:51well lady bunters is where i'm going to myself
01:10:53so this is mrs hickett's dog
01:10:54that's right
01:10:55mr and mrs hickett's car broke down and i had to spend the night here
01:10:58mr and mrs hickett
01:11:00not
01:11:01i can tell you on very good authority that mr hickett spent last night at haybury
01:11:04on his way from london
01:11:05indeed he did not
01:11:06er if you'll pardon me
01:11:07he spent last night getting in and out of bed after his dog poor fellow
01:11:10from all accounts he and mrs hickett had a very rough time
01:11:13besides i saw them here myself last night
01:11:15oh
01:11:16then you know mr hickett
01:11:17er
01:11:18yes i i knew his wife before she introduced me to him
01:11:21he's hickett the mp you know
01:11:22er
01:11:23i was agreeably surprised
01:11:24a very decent fellow
01:11:26i'd always been told that the man was a bit of an ass
01:11:29indeed
01:11:30here you are my man
01:11:32oh oh oh thank you sir
01:11:34oh thank you
01:11:35you you needn't worry anymore about it
01:11:37no sir
01:11:38no sir
01:11:39now would you be kind enough to put the dog in my car
01:11:41in your car sir
01:11:42yes it'll be quite safe in there
01:11:44i'll see that mrs hickett gets it
01:11:46right you are
01:11:47well glad to have been of some service
01:11:49come along come along
01:11:50no snapping no snapping
01:11:52ha ha ha
01:11:53come along come along
01:11:54well i'll see you downstairs
01:11:56don't you speak to me
01:11:57i wasn't
01:11:58there's only one place i'd like to see you
01:12:00oh
01:12:01marvin
01:12:03oh excuse me
01:12:04i'm looking for a couple
01:12:05oh well will you manage everywhere
01:12:07oh no no i didn't mean that
01:12:11are you the manageress
01:12:12manageress
01:12:13oh i beg your pardon
01:12:14i thought that looked like the hotel register
01:12:16it is the register
01:12:17aye
01:12:18may i see it please
01:12:19certainly not
01:12:20certainly yes give the gentleman the book
01:12:21there you are sir there's a book
01:12:22well then where are the pens and inks and blocking paper
01:12:24where are they
01:12:25did you stay at this hotel last night sir
01:12:27well
01:12:28in and out
01:12:29is this your name
01:12:32yes
01:12:33why shouldn't it be
01:12:34because it happens to be mine
01:12:35oh
01:12:36well then you better have it
01:12:38will you explain
01:12:39i can do that
01:12:40no no no i'll tell marguerite
01:12:41marguerite
01:12:42yes my wife
01:12:43your wife
01:12:44our wife
01:12:45he spent the night in her room
01:12:46i'll prove it
01:12:47i'll find the landlady
01:12:49is this true
01:12:51well
01:12:52the landlady wouldn't let us in unless we were married
01:12:54and so we were married
01:12:55you know what i mean i mean we carried on as if we were
01:12:58what
01:12:59no
01:13:00oh
01:13:01why wouldn't the landlady let you in unmarried
01:13:02well because she's a sort of prussian baptist
01:13:04that's not good enough
01:13:05oh i'm sorry
01:13:06i've always had good reason
01:13:07to regard my wife
01:13:08as a sweet and innocent woman
01:13:10then believe me you are utterly wrong
01:13:13shut up
01:13:14pull us up together
01:13:15this is something entirely different
01:13:17it is
01:13:18this is the husband
01:13:20the husband
01:13:21yes the husband
01:13:25oh that's very awkward
01:13:27where's the landlady
01:13:34gone to get some milk
01:13:36where are from
01:13:37well
01:13:38from the cow
01:13:39oh
01:13:40you
01:13:44where's the cow
01:13:45where's the cow
01:13:46being milked
01:13:47but where's the cow being milked
01:13:50well you knows where they milk a cow don't he
01:13:53i say have a care there have a care
01:13:56do you mean to tell me that you couldn't sleep anywhere else
01:13:58i mean to tell you i couldn't sleep anywhere else
01:13:59i mean to tell you i couldn't sleep anywhere at all
01:14:00rocks
01:14:01that's past belief
01:14:02wow
01:14:03i won't put up with it
01:14:05uh
01:14:06wait
01:14:09get up
01:14:10stop that
01:14:11we won't have that
01:14:12you'll listen to me for a moment
01:14:14i am the man of the world
01:14:16and i happen to be the father of this man's wife's daughter
01:14:19is this your father-in-law
01:14:20yes i'm afraid it is
01:14:22what
01:14:23claude
01:14:24Darling, how marvellous!
01:14:26That's all very well.
01:14:28What about this man?
01:14:30Well, what do you think?
01:14:32Go on. Look at him.
01:14:34Tell me what you think.
01:14:36No, you're quite right.
01:14:38Impossible. What?
01:14:40What impossible? Is he talking about me?
01:14:42I can't explain it all, darling.
01:14:44Well, then take him away and explain. Go on.
01:14:48I get you, you know that?
01:14:50I won't stand there. He pips at me.
01:14:52No, no, leave him alone, leave him alone.
01:14:54Besides, he didn't poof at you. He poofed at me.
01:14:56Did he? Yes.
01:14:58Oh, well, that's all right then.
01:15:00Well, that's all right anyway, boy. We're over that jump.
01:15:02Yes, rather.
01:15:04What's that?
01:15:06I get it, sir. Who?
01:15:08Well, he's with some karma in the bar.
01:15:10Great Scott. Well, listen, I'm all right.
01:15:12You go in the bar. Yes.
01:15:14And don't forget, you say, Peter,
01:15:16what is this I hear? Yes, what is this I hear?
01:15:18And I say, it's nothing, darling.
01:15:20Surely you know me better than that.
01:15:22And me?
01:15:24Believe me, Barbara, you're utterly wrong.
01:15:26That's right. Now, one moment. My attitude.
01:15:28Bewildered and elused.
01:15:30Otherwise? That's right, that's it.
01:15:32That's it, that's it. Peter, what is this I hear?
01:15:34Yes. And better than that, utterly wrong.
01:15:36Well, that's enough. I'll go in the bar. Quick.
01:15:38Oh.
01:15:56Barbara, darling.
01:15:58Peter, what is this?
01:16:00Well, go on.
01:16:02What is this you what?
01:16:04What is this I find?
01:16:06You find?
01:16:08Don't you hear anything?
01:16:10What?
01:16:12Oh, it's nothing, darling.
01:16:14Surely you don't know me as well as all that.
01:16:16Oh.
01:16:18But, Peter, what's happened?
01:16:20Oh, what's happened?
01:16:22Oh, I can soon tell you that, I think.
01:16:24I hope.
01:16:26Oh, I hope.
01:16:28Now, Miss Hardcastle, or whatever your name is,
01:16:32if you will kindly pass your pot.
01:16:40So we took a car after you, you see.
01:16:42We had a breakdown, so I had to come here.
01:16:44Yes, I heard that.
01:16:46Oh, you heard that.
01:16:48Oh. Well, now hear this.
01:16:50So along here came Mr Hickett in his car.
01:16:52He was going to the bunters too, funnily.
01:16:54So he stayed here with Mrs Hickett,
01:16:56which I thought was very, very nice of him.
01:16:58And I pushed on and stayed where else?
01:17:02Er, elsewhere.
01:17:04But why didn't you stay here too?
01:17:06Well, you see, darling, you see,
01:17:08there are only two rooms here,
01:17:10and the Hicketts had one.
01:17:12Then why didn't you have the other?
01:17:14Well, darling, because there's an old lady in bed there.
01:17:16Oh.
01:17:17Yes.
01:17:18And she wanted to be alone.
01:17:20So I went on, rang up the bunters,
01:17:22heard you were not there,
01:17:24and came back here this morning.
01:17:26Oh, Peter.
01:17:27Then I need never have had any doubt or anxiety.
01:17:29Oh, believe me, Barbara, you're utterly wrong.
01:17:39Well meant, but a bad spot.
01:17:41Father, are you here?
01:17:43Well, I...
01:17:45I thought so.
01:17:47Is Mother here?
01:17:48No.
01:17:49Yes.
01:17:50No.
01:17:51Peter, where did you stay last night?
01:17:55Er, where did I stay last night?
01:17:56Oh, no, I...
01:17:57I went to the next town
01:17:59and stayed at another pub.
01:18:01What was it called?
01:18:02Er, what was it called?
01:18:04Oh, yes.
01:18:05That's right, yes.
01:18:06You mean the name of the pub.
01:18:07The name of the pub was, er,
01:18:08The Cow and Litter.
01:18:10Nonsense, Peter.
01:18:11Cows don't have litters.
01:18:13No.
01:18:14No, of course it ought not.
01:18:16Er, it, er...
01:18:17It's only a name, isn't it?
01:18:18Oh, yes.
01:18:19If it comes to that,
01:18:20pigs don't have whistles.
01:18:22Do they?
01:18:25Well, now, if you'll excuse me a moment,
01:18:27I've come over rather faint.
01:18:37I'd like to see Mother.
01:18:38No, don't worry about Mother.
01:18:40Oh, here's Mrs Hickett.
01:18:42Mrs Hickett.
01:18:43I'd rather see Mother.
01:18:44What?
01:18:45You'd rather see Mother than Mrs Hickett?
01:18:48You must be feverish.
01:18:51Are you Mrs Wickham?
01:18:52Yes.
01:18:53I am.
01:18:54Oh, I'm so glad you've come.
01:18:55I hope you realise now there was nothing the matter.
01:18:58Well, of course.
01:18:59Now that I know you stayed here with Mr Hickett.
01:19:03What's the matter?
01:19:04Oh, nothing.
01:19:05Mr Hickett did stay here last night, didn't he?
01:19:07Oh, yes.
01:19:08Good old Hickett.
01:19:09Of course Hickett stayed here last night.
01:19:12What do you mean by saying I stayed here?
01:19:14Claude, you're being very stupid and interfering.
01:19:17I believe what you tell me.
01:19:19But I won't endorse lies.
01:19:21Peter, you've been lying to me.
01:19:23Have I?
01:19:24Oh.
01:19:25Well, let me try again.
01:19:26You, darling,
01:19:28I must tell you the tale of the old copper pot.
01:19:31Oh, come on.
01:19:32We'll get out of this.
01:19:33He can get out of it as best he can.
01:19:35Oh.
01:19:36Peter.
01:19:37Is there anything I can say to help you?
01:19:40No, there isn't.
01:19:41If you are a sensible girl,
01:19:43you will realise what a nice husband you have.
01:19:46Nobody could have been nicer to me than he was last night.
01:19:50Now, look here.
01:19:51You listen to your old daddy.
01:19:52He's a man of the world.
01:19:53I won't listen.
01:19:54You missed the train on purpose.
01:19:55You brought her here.
01:19:56You stayed in her room.
01:19:57And you told lies.
01:19:58I'm going back home.
01:19:59No, no, no, Barbara.
01:20:00Barbara.
01:20:01Oh, she's gone.
01:20:02What shall we do?
01:20:03Well, if you want something to do,
01:20:04you'd better come in here.
01:20:05No, no, no.
01:20:06You can't let your wife go like that.
01:20:07I love her.
01:20:08You love my wife.
01:20:09No, no, no.
01:20:10Of course not.
01:20:11You, you, you, you, you are a bone.
01:20:12I'm going back home.
01:20:13You're a man of the world.
01:20:14I won't listen.
01:20:15You missed the train on purpose.
01:20:16You brought her here.
01:20:17You stayed in her room.
01:20:18You told lies.
01:20:19I'm going back home.
01:20:20No, no, no, Barbara.
01:20:21Barbara.
01:20:22Barbara.
01:20:23Barbara.
01:20:24Oh, she's gone.
01:20:25What shall we do?
01:20:26Well, if you want something to do,
01:20:27you'd better come in here.
01:20:28No, no, no.
01:20:29Of course not.
01:20:30You, you, you, you are a bone.
01:20:32Yes.
01:20:33Well, I mean, I was going to say.
01:20:34Yes, but don't waste time saying.
01:20:35You've got to get her back.
01:20:36Come on.
01:20:43She's gone.
01:20:44Here.
01:20:45Put me on her back.
01:20:46What's up?
01:20:47Don't argue.
01:20:48I've got to catch her car.
01:20:49Go on.
01:20:50It's life and death.
01:20:51Have a care.
01:20:52Have a care.
01:20:53Have a care.
01:20:54Have a care.
01:20:55Have a care.
01:20:56Have a care.
01:20:57.
01:21:13Barbara.
01:21:14Hi, Barbara.
01:21:15Barbara.
01:21:16Peter.
01:21:17Barbara Dalin.
01:21:18No, I'm going back alone.
01:21:19No, don't go till I do this.
01:21:20Do what?
01:21:22This.
01:21:23Good-bye. Good-bye.
01:21:30Oh, Barbara, darling, don't be cross with me after all I've done.
01:21:34Oh, I know. I mean, after all I've tried to do, Barbara.
01:21:39Oh, Peter.
01:21:41Oh, Barbara.
01:21:53Stop this disgusting ordeal, or I'll have you add up.
01:22:02Why, Dad, if I was ten years younger, it's women like you that make men friends.
01:22:08You ought to be ashamed of yourself, you ought to.
01:22:12Well, as for you, Jeannebel, never mind about being ten years younger.
01:22:23Oh, my God.
01:22:25Oh, my God.
01:22:27Oh, my God.
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