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00:00I've been too much for everyone but me I've edited myself for too long now's
00:18the time to live unfiltered unedited unapologetically me
00:30welcome on here thank you for having me you know the global tech space is
00:45supposed to be a man's world or when he pay up me you put Indian tech on the
00:50global stage what a way to smash the goddamn glass ceiling not that glass
00:56ceiling Damini I mean look to mug a liar no glass ceiling can stop you okay in an
01:04ideal world yes but it's not an ideal world you know I'm proud of being a
01:07woman but why should that always define the
01:10conversation and my work okay mania facts
01:1615% say come tech startups have female founders it's the hardest for women to
01:24raise money because of various misogynistic ideas like are you order
01:28take care about that you must have faced that yourself just for the record
01:31would be a messa laga a key or team Margo's coffee
01:34other women listening to you listening to us right now we'll learn so that they
02:00can use it when they are faced with similar obstacles so you have to admit
02:04that glass ceilings imaginary and we can't just wish it away fine Damini it
02:10exists and I hate thinking that if I didn't have a husband who supported me
02:16maybe but yes you're right there is a fucking glass ceiling and I'm just thrilled
02:24that I have shattered the fuck out of it yes you have Wow
02:30nervous you got this
02:45you smell really nice stop distracting me Mr. Ek nahi test kar rata and you passed
03:00the
03:11you
03:13you
03:13you have to know
03:15you will call him and tell me
03:17please
03:18oh why are you getting so big a seat in dheli
03:22can you see the news
03:23Do you pay attention?
03:24the
03:26So, half long, huh?
03:28Must have been beautiful growing up in a hill station.
03:30Hmm.
03:31Asamka is one of the hill station.
03:33You should go sometime.
03:35You should go sometime.
03:37You have to take a notice trip.
03:39What do you want to do?
03:41When are you in Mumbai?
03:43Shh.
03:44I love you.
03:45You don't listen to me.
03:46No, I don't.
03:47I don't think so.
03:48I don't think so.
03:49I don't think so.
03:50I don't think so.
03:51I don't think so.
03:52I don't think so.
03:53I think so.
03:54I'm eating cream.
04:05Do you need a milk on Monday?
04:07You need to record pimple-cream.
04:09What about I am?
04:10Where do you come from?
04:12Where?
04:18Alright then.
04:21Oh, so I will go.
04:22That's popcorn if you want.
04:24Good night.
04:52When I travel abroad,
05:21I travel like a true blue gujju,
05:24I take my KFC with me.
05:28Khaakara, Fafra, Chakli?
05:31KFC?
05:35No, nothing?
05:37I thought I could always count on a good khaakara joke
05:40to be crisp, huh?
05:43It's funny.
05:47Wow.
05:48So, you know, when I proposed to my husband,
05:55there was one thing set in my mind.
05:58Those things, those things
06:00that we had to meet in the year,
06:02now we can do all 365 days.
06:06Yeah.
06:08Yeah.
06:09I know, right?
06:10Like, imagine,
06:11yachts, sun downers,
06:13wine making,
06:14cheese tasting.
06:15Oh, my God.
06:17Ooh.
06:18But,
06:19uh,
06:20cheese tasting to nahi,
06:22par har din ghar mein yeh discussion
06:24jarur hota hai,
06:25ki lunch mein mong daal bane ki ki masoor daal.
06:31Sun downers ka batani par,
06:32humare ghar mein,
06:33nobody's going down on anyone.
06:35Marriage means, uh,
06:37life share karna,
06:38right?
06:39Leke,
06:40life ke saath-saath,
06:41bathroom,
06:42aur,
06:43cupboard shelves bhi share karne padeenge, yaar.
06:45He toh pata hi nahi nahi nahi.
06:46So, the other day,
06:47when I instructed my staff
06:48to separate the whites for laundry day,
06:50my sexy white satin dress
06:51pehunc gai meri husbend ke white underwear drawer me.
06:54And, you know,
06:55underwear se yad aya,
06:56agar woh saath din ki trip ke lihe jaa raha hai na,
06:58toh woh exactly saath pairs of underwear he pack karega.
07:02Toh ab, humara honeymoon trip,
07:04jab ek din se extend ho ga ga ga.
07:07Toh ab, humara honeymoon trip,
07:08jab ek din se extend ho ga ga.
07:11Toh ab humara honeymoon trip,
07:13jab ek din se extend ho ga ga.
07:15Toh ab humara honeymoon trip,
07:18jab ek din se extend ho ga.
07:20Toh obviously,
07:22usko pehunni padhi,
07:24meri sexy purple lacy thongs.
07:30But maybe they look so much better on you,
07:32I promise.
07:35Okay guys, thank you,
07:36that's my time.
07:37Please have a good evening.
07:43That's funny.
07:48Hey Siddhi, what a wonderful set.
07:50I'm Ankush from Mixing Up.
07:52Oh, the talent punishment agency?
07:54Yes.
07:55Are you doing a rep?
07:58Guys, guys, guys, guys, guess what?
08:00Guess what, guess what?
08:01Okay, you see that guy over there?
08:02You see?
08:04He's from Mixing Up.
08:07And they want to rep me.
08:08Me!
08:09Congrats.
08:10Wow, that's amazing.
08:11Taimachika hai for doing branded videos and collabs.
08:15That's awesome.
08:17That's awesome.
08:18Meerkai.
08:19He left.
08:21Why?
08:22He, um, pissed.
08:25Really pissed.
08:27Like, really, really pissed.
08:30In my childhood, my mom taught me that there are two types.
08:36Good and bad.
08:39Now I know there's a third type.
08:42The client.
08:44Clients are the worst.
08:46Really.
08:47Worst than any wedding auntie
08:49who runs the same app
08:51behind you,
08:53the buffet.
08:55Because
08:56that you are into women.
09:01And worse still
09:02than
09:03Shaadiwali auntie's husband
09:04who comes to your ladies' room
09:06behind you.
09:07Because
09:08that
09:09you are into women.
09:19Yeah, he's here with drink.
09:21Where's my drink?
09:22Why are you still here?
09:23I feel like you are behind you.
09:26He looks damn pissed.
09:29Your jacket and your set are cute.
09:32Very good.
09:33I'm a monk, by the way.
09:34Hi.
09:35Shai.
09:36And the set was okay.
09:37Actually, I forgot some jokes.
09:39I do this just for fun.
09:41So, what's your day job?
09:42I work in franchise.
09:44What about you?
09:45I'm actually a small gym owner.
09:47Umami.
09:48Veronica Road.
09:49If you are in the area,
09:50please drop in.
09:51Yeah, sure.
09:52Okay.
09:53So,
09:54you're going to take your clothes.
09:55What are they doing?
09:56Hmm.
09:57He's here.
09:58Let's go.
09:59Let's go.
10:00Let's go.
10:13Hi.
10:14Let's go.
10:15Let's go.
10:16Let's go.
10:17Let's go.
10:18Let's go.
10:19Let's go.
10:20Let's go.
10:21Let's go.
10:22Let's go.
10:23Let's go.
10:24Let's go.
10:25Let's go.
10:26Let's go.
10:27Let's go.
10:28Let's go.
10:29Let's go.
10:30Let's go.
10:31Let's go.
10:32Let's go.
10:33Okay, guess what?
10:34You know, mixing up that talent agency,
10:35they wanna rep me.
10:36Apparently,
10:37there's a lot of money in branded videos.
10:39Go for it.
10:40At least,
10:41you don't have your jokes about me.
10:42I can't believe we have a problem with this one.
10:47You can decide if I have a problem with this one.
10:48You can decide if I have a problem with this one.
10:50You can decide if I have a problem with this one.
10:52If they have a problem with me,
10:53they have a problem with me.
10:54But people don't laugh at you.
10:56They are laugh at themselves.
10:57Because the content is so relatable.
10:59I don't care whether it's relatable or not.
11:01You clearly said to keep me out of your set.
11:03What do you want?
11:04I start learning jokes about Neha?
11:07I don't live with them.
11:09What do you want to live with them?
11:11With them?
11:13I don't want to live with you.
11:16Why don't you understand?
11:18It doesn't seem like it.
11:25Anything else?
11:27In the caramel custard fridge.
11:29Eat it.
11:40Thanks.
11:42Good.
11:46Good.
11:47Good.
11:48Good.
11:49Good.
11:50Good.
11:51Good.
11:52Good.
11:53Good.
11:54Good.
11:59My lord, The
12:02Oh my god, I'm so sorry!
12:16Ahmed!
12:19Damini Rizvi Roy. What a sight for sore eyes.
12:28Aliyah, Zain, meet Damini.
12:31You're babysitting?
12:33You don't have to babysit yourself.
12:36Did you get married?
12:38No, married and I.
12:41Let me get that for you.
12:45Actually, my girlfriend Yang, she wanted only a child.
12:49She didn't get married.
12:51I thought we'd come to Mumbai for a few days.
12:54To be close to the grandparents and all.
12:56It's been two weeks.
12:58Are you staying here?
13:00Hanover Crown for now.
13:01It's the sweet life.
13:02When it's been finalized?
13:06Somebody's hungry.
13:09Yang went to Hong Kong for a conference.
13:11She's an IVF specialist.
13:13Anyway, I need to get ANZ back home for some pumped mommy milk.
13:17Sure.
13:18You too.
13:19If you're free?
13:20For coffee?
13:21No, no, I'm fine.
13:23Come on.
13:24We have regular milk.
13:25Let me go down.
13:26Let me go down.
13:27Let me go down.
13:28Let me go down.
13:33This is all for you.
13:34For me?
13:35For me.
13:36Four years ago, almost becoming a father.
13:39Rarely awakened the dad in me.
13:42There's a lot of things in life.
13:44But Zen and Alaya are the best thing that ever happened to you.
13:48Is there enough about us?
13:50Do you know?
13:51How are you?
13:52Fine.
13:55And still with the boy?
14:00No.
14:09I should take that.
14:10Can you help me?
14:11Why?
14:12Why?
14:13Why would I just take the phone?
14:14Why would you just take the phone?
14:15Why would you just take the phone?
14:16Huh?
14:17Yeah.
14:18What?
14:19Okay, let's get ready.
14:20I'm going to leave.
14:21Okay, bye.
14:22It's a medical emergency.
14:23They have to have to call Sally Sally.
14:26Sally.
14:27Sure.
14:28You're right.
14:29Come on, Sally.
14:30Pick up the phone.
14:31Sally is not taking the phone.
14:32Maybe she's gone for mass.
14:34Okay.
14:35Could you just take the phone?
14:36I'll...
14:37Sure.
14:38Yeah.
14:39And can you take a liar, please?
14:44Come on.
15:02Hate to do this to you, Damini.
15:04Can you...
15:06Babysit?
15:07Babysit?
15:08I'm in me.
15:10Peace.
15:11Peace.
15:38And...
15:53And that is how it's done.
15:57and that is how it's done oh yes there we go join family
16:06oh I love babies when the soch rakhai aage ja ke toh mein hundred percent
16:14piare se fearless babies ko adopt karoongi yes maane mujhe eggs freeze
16:21karne ke bolo oh oh warse se pooch kya ki usse papa banna hai ki nahi oh man eggs
16:28karne ke bare mein boring reproductions se production hi nikal diya
16:33arre toh reproduce karna old-fashioned style mein not yet
16:38jab tak mein a successful career ki maa nahi banjati tab tak mein a actual
16:44bachche ki maa nahi banjati achha toh matak toh toh maa banegi nahi nahi nahi
16:51ndj aira's body was so much better
17:00i love it
17:03Please, please.
17:05Please, please.
17:07Please, please.
17:09Please, please.
17:11Please, please.
17:13Please, please.
17:19Harmony, look at you.
17:21You're a natural.
17:23Good to see you, lovely ladies.
17:26Good to see you.
17:28And hello.
17:30Hello?
17:32Hello?
17:33Hello?
17:34How hot is it?
17:36It's illegal.
17:46No, wait.
17:48What did your friend's ex-BV do?
17:52She made a mold of his Nali Nihari for a massager
17:57and called it the Mini.
18:00It's selling like crazy.
18:02She's trying to sell it.
18:04But now,
18:05you need your friend's ex-BV.
18:07Mini's ex-BV.
18:12Profits' ex-BV.
18:13Listen.
18:14You specialize in trademark cases, right?
18:16Listen, please.
18:17You've got to do me a favor.
18:18All right?
18:19You're going to take a lot of money everywhere.
18:21If there's a Mini,
18:22then there's a puppy or a dog.
18:24You've got to help me help a friend.
18:26Please.
18:27Please.
18:28Okay, okay.
18:29I'll meet him.
18:30Seriously?
18:31Okay.
18:32Okay.
18:33All right.
18:50Hey, sexy.
18:51Hi.
18:52How are you?
18:53Yeah.
18:54Thought we'd have our third date.
18:56Whoa.
18:57Whoa.
18:58Whoa.
18:59Whoa.
19:00Whoa.
19:01Whoa.
19:02Whoa.
19:03Hang on.
19:04Hang on.
19:05What's wrong?
19:06I just thought you're not interested in me.
19:07Oh.
19:08That's because I have a three date rule.
19:09Oh.
19:10Okay.
19:11Okay.
19:12So,
19:13I just thought you're not interested in me.
19:14Oh.
19:15That's because I have a three date rule.
19:18Oh.
19:19Okay.
19:20So,
19:21I didn't want to tell you about this three date rule.
19:24Oh.
19:25You're not a little controlling.
19:27I?
19:28Yeah.
19:29You've been controlling everything until now.
19:32You just ignored me and now you're playing with tonsil hockey.
19:37And I'm controlling.
19:40You know what?
19:41It's not stress for my music.
19:43I'd rather swipe on someone else.
20:00You know, you're known for your elaborate fashion choices.
20:04So, what do you mean for your clothes?
20:06So, for me, my body is like a canvas.
20:10I wear clothes.
20:11It's my art.
20:12Fashion, for me, is like a form of self-expression.
20:15But many people criticize this self-expression.
20:19They say that you're all for attention.
20:21I'm a professional attention-seeker.
20:23Of course, I need attention.
20:25What are your fears, Urfi?
20:28Do you even have any?
20:30Just one.
20:31You love me.
20:33You love me.
20:34Just don't ignore me.
20:36I'm getting so much more difficult.
20:39I don't want to go back to my life again.
20:42I don't want to go back there.
20:43Because the real Urfi doesn't like anyone.
20:46All right.
20:48The real Urfi is a lot of people like 5 million people.
20:52We have more followers from Damini.
20:55We have more followers of our people.
20:56We have more followers of our people.
21:01Urfi,
21:03do you ever get angry?
21:04What do you have all of those people who have underestimated you?
21:08What do you have every time?
21:09People said a lot.
21:11When I was starting, people were saying what they were wearing.
21:16They were very fun.
21:18And they were saying a lot.
21:22In our family, many people underestimated Damini.
21:29In my childhood, they called it Kassrood.
21:32Kassrood? What's that?
21:35It's a vegetable in the mountains.
21:37It's a strange taste.
21:39That you need to make a Kassrood outfit.
21:43Not a bad idea.
21:45And I'll cut it to that.
21:47And whoever has underestimated me today, I'll just go hug them.
21:50Amazing. I love it.
21:52I like this guy.
22:07Hello?
22:09You're not Nadal, huh?
22:11And you're not a couple of harm.
22:13You keep your humor on my podcast.
22:15Because of my humor, your first episode of the first episode of the fourth episode,
22:211,781,000.
22:22Yes.
22:23This is all you're doing.
22:24Maybe because my IQ is higher.
22:26My 123 to 111.
22:28Woohoo!
22:29Ha!
22:30Ha!
22:31Ha!
22:32Yeah.
22:33High points, Madley.
22:34Huh?
22:34Ash is so chill and funny.
22:37He makes Damini real.
22:38Ha!
22:39Ha!
22:40Serious and the humor at the same time.
22:43I was not prepared, bro.
22:47This is my podcast.
22:48I've got this credibility and respect for years and years.
22:52So, fuck it!
22:57Fuck you!
23:05French fries, chocolate milkshake.
23:09I've given you my plate.
23:13I don't want to share.
23:18By the way, I was 113.
23:22111.
23:2411.
23:2511.
23:2611.
23:27No.
23:2811.
23:29Shut up.
23:31Alright, Speloni, come on, keep it up.
23:33Back straight, you got it, let's go!
23:35Hey, Prito!
23:36Take the matching set, beautiful form.
23:38Look at this, love it!
23:39The solid chest bump.
23:40Let's go, bro, come on!
23:42Alright, one, let's go again.
23:43Set, second one, let's go!
23:44Boss!
23:45I want to get someone else.
23:48Come on!
23:51Hi.
23:52Hi.
23:53Hi.
23:54Were you waiting long?
23:55Long enough that all of your clients' names have been remembered.
23:59Why don't you show me around?
24:01Of course.
24:02So, here at Umami, we don't do a one-size-fits-all approach.
24:06We tailor-make programs for every individual.
24:09And I'm just hoping that you'll sign up as a client with Umami.
24:14Well, actually, I'm here to try to entice you into signing Umami up as a client.
24:22Oh.
24:23After the show, I realized that you're an Umami.
24:27Shit.
24:28I'm sorry.
24:32I'm really sorry.
24:33I was just saying that because Samara got back into perfect shape for the MMA film because of you.
24:40And I really think Umami can go places.
24:44So, let's catch up soon to discuss your potential signing with us at Franchising.
24:50So, you work at Franchising?
24:52Yes.
24:53I own the company.
24:54Oh, boss.
24:55Just like you.
24:56Oh, cool.
24:57Thanks.
24:58Um, so, sorry the rest of the place?
25:01Yes, please.
25:03Back here.
25:04Yeah.
25:07Until the defendant's name of his product, the Mini,
25:11which is inspired by his ex-husband, or my client, Mr. Tushar Gupta.
25:16He needs to be compensated for it.
25:17How can you say this?
25:18The Mini is inspired by your client.
25:19Your Honor, in 2007, there was an Indian research paper published in the International Journal of Importance Research.
25:34There were 300 people who studied between the ages of 18 to 16.
25:40And it was found that the average flaccid, stretched, and erect lengths were 3.23 inches, 4.28 inches, and 5.12 inches.
25:53Order in the court, please.
25:56Order, order.
25:58So, that's the average length of the Mini.
26:01Exactly.
26:02And coming back to this product.
26:03Your Honor, it's 5.1 inch length.
26:07Which means, it's not a Mini.
26:09It's normal.
26:10Your Honor, as Mr. Purohit pointed out, my client's size is considered average by Indian standards.
26:17So, what is the Mini need to call this product?
26:21Just a marketing name?
26:22I beg to differ, Your Honor.
26:24This name is for my client to malign his reputation.
26:30How do you reach this product?
26:31When you were told me to call it a small nut cut.
26:34Model the court, please.
26:35Ramneek Ji, you can't do anything out of turn.
26:36Sorry, Your Honor.
26:37Your Honor, now we come to technicality.
26:38Miss Ramneek Bora has not trademarked this design.
26:39However, my client, Mr. Tushar Gupta, has applied for it as of last week.
26:43Your Honor, we object.
26:44Ms. Ramneek Bora's design in the last 11 months.
26:45She is the indisputable owner.
26:46I object, Your Honor.
26:47My client has owned this design since birth.
26:48Thus, he is the indisputable owner.
26:49.
26:50.
26:51.
26:52.
26:55.
26:56.
26:57.
27:10.
27:15So, how are you feeling?
27:28You are buying a bike in impulse. Amazing!
27:31Well, you deserve it!
27:33You have seen the case.
27:35You look pretty cool on the bike.
27:38I'm a little jealous of the bike though.
27:45Here we go.
27:52Ah, my favourite.
27:55Except in the 20s, I've never done it.
27:57The 20s are overhyped.
27:59It's not good for the brain.
28:01It's all the hormones.
28:03Sometimes it's disasters.
28:05Like a marriage.
28:07Satya Bachand.
28:11What?
28:13What do you do again?
28:14A marriage?
28:15Who knows?
28:17Arya will go to undergrad and...
28:20If I meet the right person...
28:23Hmm.
28:24Maybe.
28:26You?
28:28I.
28:31I didn't make a marriage.
28:33I was a shit husband.
28:34I was a bachelor's husband.
28:36I was a bachelor's bachelor's husband.
28:38Truth bomb.
28:39Cheers to that.
28:44Whoo-hoo.
28:46Check it out.
28:50So, that night I'm wearing so many feathers...
28:53...so if someone sees a peacock...
28:55...they said...
28:57... dividers...
28:58... he is a family.
29:00And I fell apart from my pregnant husband.
29:03And I was saying...
29:04Babe, just feel...
29:06...just feel.
29:07That's weird.
29:09And as I feel,
29:11the person who started laughing
29:14laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing,
29:16non-stop.
29:17For one second, I thought,
29:19dude, this is a new four-play style
29:21that I don't know of.
29:22And I was like, come on, baby, let's do it.
29:24But then I thought,
29:25this is a flash mob.
29:27And, like that wasn't enough,
29:30he immediately started his body
29:33like this, like this, like this,
29:35and I started a journey,
29:37like this, like this,
29:39twisting and turning,
29:41and turning,
29:42and a,
29:45and a,
29:47and a,
29:49and a,
29:51and a,
29:53and a,
29:55and a,
29:57and a,
29:59and a,
30:01and a,
30:03and,
30:05yes.
30:06Thank you very much,
30:07you've been lovely.
30:09Wooh.
30:12What's the?
30:21Hey, babe.
30:22How was your day?
30:23What's the...
30:25In twisting and turning, the person's abs came out, man.
30:29And something broke.
30:31At the end of the emergency contraceptives,
30:34I was in the emergency room.
30:36With my husband's training, he's a junior.
30:40You know, I always cancel this joke.
30:42Today, Kevin, left me this.
30:45This.
30:48And in the team meeting, Sudhir loudly offered me
30:51the number of a plastic surgeon for my crooked dick.
30:54Crooked dick.
30:57Listen, man.
30:58Just ignore them, man.
31:00They're five-year-old children.
31:02Ignore them?
31:03Yeah.
31:04Sudhir, why are you pretending that you don't know
31:06how this is affecting me?
31:07Meir, but these are just jokes.
31:10Harmless jokes.
31:11Harmless?
31:12I've become a mess, Sudhir.
31:14Do you Google personal bounties?
31:15Because you don't understand me.
31:17Okay, fine.
31:19Tell me.
31:20What do you want me to do?
31:22Leave me alone.
31:23When did I say that?
31:24You then?
31:25You can only joke on your husbands.
31:27What?
31:28It's anecdotal comedy, Meir.
31:29It comes from your own life.
31:30You don't understand why you don't.
31:32When you meet with me,
31:33I don't understand.
31:34I've always stood by you.
31:35When it was my dad at fault,
31:37and when you had trouble understanding
31:38how to move on,
31:39how to move on?
31:40I was there by your side.
31:41When you wanted,
31:42you dumped it.
31:43When you wanted,
31:44you proposed it.
31:45But this time,
31:46you've really crossed the line.
31:47I'm sorry.
31:48I think it will be together in our relationship.
31:50It will be respected.
31:51But here,
31:52it's only one running joke.
31:54And that's who I am.
32:11And there's no point in swimming.
32:12We're drowning in the bed.
32:14You made us wear a night.
32:16Water under the bridge.
32:18Under the bridge.
32:20You know.
32:22Hold on.
32:25Shouldn't we sleep on it?
32:28Or stay up and talk about it?
32:31Cause we shouldn't go to bed mad.
32:35Hold on.
32:38Shouldn't we go through it?
32:41So we could just grow through this
32:43till we really wanna end it bad.
32:46Now you're frozen,
32:47so call someone I do not know.
32:50You're acting like I'm overreacting.
32:52Gave your sunsets at night
32:54for this kind of goodbye.
32:56Pretending like it ain't a bad thing
32:58We're not water under the bridge.
33:02Under the bridge.
33:03No.
33:04We're not water under the bridge.
33:08Under the bridge.
33:09No.
33:10Cause the whole thing is sinking.
33:13There's no point in swimming.
33:15We're drowning in the bed.
33:16You made us wear a night.
33:18Water under the bridge.
33:21Under the bridge.
33:22No.
33:28We're not water under the bridge.
33:38No.
33:39We're not water under the bridge.
33:41Under the bridge.
33:42No.
33:43We're not water under the bridge.
33:46Under the bridge.
33:47No.
33:48Cause the whole thing is sinking.
33:50There's no point in swimming.
33:51We're drowning in the bed you made us.
33:52We're not water under the bridge.
33:55We're not water under the bridge, under the bridge.
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