- 8 hours ago
- #realitytvdeep
Mortimer and Whitehouse Gone Fishing S08E07
#RealityTVDeep
#RealityTVDeep
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00so Paul we're on a steam train what does that mean I think it means it's Christmas
00:08it's the Christmas show yeah yeah but it's not very Christmassy out there Bob yeah well it isn't
00:13but it's the Christmas show right do you know where we're headed I'll tell you where we're
00:21heading we're heading to the center of Christmas this year all right and who decides where it's
00:26centered me of course do you know where it might be give us a clue Ted's got a little hint oh right
00:36okay it's a Cornish pasty we're going to Cornwall Wow nice we're gonna actually on our way to go
00:49and we'll fish on a beautiful river called the River Lid in Devon they will be fishing in Cornwall
00:54really yeah we've got the award ceremony special Christmas dinner some beautiful accommodation
01:00right for our Cornish Christmas adventure lovely this carriage is called a Pullman carriage fantasy
01:08yeah it was the personal carriage of Winston Churchill and it was in this carriage that he
01:14had a meeting with General Eisenhower to discuss the D-Day landings we might be in their seats we
01:19might be in the church we'll be facing forward I've got to am I you silly egg did you call me a silly egg
01:25no no no no no no no
01:26ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
01:56Come, Ted. Good boy.
01:58I said, what a cunt of devil.
02:00You told me we was going to Cornwall.
02:02We're on our way to Cornwall, Ted.
02:04Drag me down some muggy old river.
02:06What's the matter with you, Long River?
02:09Any other one, I forgot his name, to be honest.
02:12So this is it, Paul? Yeah.
02:14The River Laird. Yeah, beautiful, isn't it, Paul?
02:17I'll start down there.
02:18You get in there, yeah? Rightio.
02:21What are we fishing for, though?
02:22Well, trout and
02:24sea trout as well.
02:26Look, we've got one of those views, Paul, through there.
02:28Oh, we have. It's a portal, isn't it?
02:30It's a portal to the magic kingdom.
02:33Yeah. Right.
02:34Let's do it.
02:56Do you have roast potatoes and mashed potatoes
03:03with your Christmas dinner, Paul?
03:05I would, if I was offered it.
03:07You know, in Cornwall,
03:08they like to have a bit of fish.
03:11Really? What are they? French?
03:13Turbot or halibut, that sort of thing.
03:15Oh, yeah, nice.
03:15Are you caught again?
03:28Oh, thank God.
03:29You get it?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Would you describe me as fat?
03:37No.
03:39I'm overweight, but you say there's a fat bloke over there.
03:43Well, you're not really, Bob.
03:44You've got a sort of big, round head, haven't you?
03:47But you're not fat, no.
03:49Oh, he's in.
03:52Oh, oh.
03:54Oh.
03:55Oh, Bob, you all right, mate?
04:01I'm absolutely fine, Bob.
04:03Are you?
04:03I'm wet.
04:04It was a bit cold as well, wasn't it?
04:06Fat and wet.
04:08Lucky you had that layer of blubber there for buoyancy.
04:12Bloody hell, Bob, you all right?
04:14Yeah, no, I'm fine.
04:16Go on, go and suck yourself out.
04:19Did you hurt yourself, Guy, any?
04:24I took a bit of a bang on the, um...
04:26On the rump.
04:29On the rump.
04:30On the rump.
04:30I've got one rump and one butter.
04:32Have you?
04:33Unusual, isn't it?
04:34It is very unusual.
04:35Oh, man.
04:40I'll tell you what, with Christmas this year, Bob,
04:42here's a little thing for you.
04:43Oh, yeah, go on.
04:44I don't think my Christmases will ever be the same.
04:47Yeah.
04:47Last Christmas, on Christmas Day,
04:52Grandad, me father-in-law, was in hospital.
04:55Yeah.
04:56And so on Christmas Day, me and me son took him his present.
04:59It was a nice little steam train calendar.
05:01Oh, yeah.
05:02But when we got there, he was fast asleep.
05:04Ah, right.
05:05And couldn't be roused, so we just said Happy Christmas to him.
05:08And took the present back?
05:09No, we gave him the present for when he woke up and that.
05:12Yeah.
05:12And then when we got home, there was a phone call from the ward,
05:18and he died by the time we got home.
05:23We sort of thought to ourselves, me and Tom, my son,
05:26that maybe, just maybe, he heard us say Happy Christmas.
05:31Yeah.
05:31And then say goodbye.
05:33Yeah.
05:33And he thought, all right, I'll turn off now then.
05:35That was nice.
05:36Well, it's possible, isn't it?
05:37It's possible.
05:38You know, maybe.
05:39On Christmas Day.
05:40On Christmas Day.
05:45He liked steam engines and he liked beer.
05:48There's plenty of them about, isn't there?
05:49That's a man, isn't it?
05:50Yeah.
05:51Rod Stewart, he likes steam engines and beer, doesn't he?
05:54Yeah.
05:54Apparently.
05:55It's a type, isn't it?
05:56It is a type.
06:08That's too close in, I think.
06:25Oh!
06:27I'm in, Bob.
06:28You're in?
06:29You're in?
06:29Yep.
06:30What were you thinking, little trout?
06:32No.
06:33It's not so little, and I don't know what it is yet.
06:36Well done, man.
06:37First Christmas catch.
06:39I think it's a grayling.
06:42Yes!
06:43It's a good grayling.
06:44I think it's a grayling, yeah.
06:46It is a grayling.
06:46It's a nice one, isn't it?
06:48Oh, Bob, look at him.
06:49Go on, get him.
06:51Yeah!
06:52Oh, Paul, it's a whopper.
06:54That is the biggest one we've ever caught.
06:56It is, isn't it?
06:57Look at that.
06:58See this fin?
06:59Oh!
07:00That's so beautiful, isn't it?
07:01Right.
07:02Let's get him back.
07:03Beautiful creature.
07:05Beautiful creature.
07:08There you go.
07:10And away.
07:11Well done, Paul.
07:12God, it's cold, that water, isn't it?
07:13Lovely.
07:15Are we having a cup of tea, darling?
07:16Yes, I'd love a cup of tea.
07:17I've got some special treats.
07:19Come on, then.
07:19Christmas treats for you.
07:20Oh, nice.
07:21So this is me Christmas spread.
07:29Wow, look at that.
07:31Yule log, gingerbread man.
07:33That one's me.
07:35That one's you.
07:36Oh, God.
07:36Obviously.
07:37Yeah.
07:37Look what I've got here, Paul.
07:40Ooh.
07:41Minced pies heating by the camping stove.
07:43Ooh.
07:45Come on, Teddy.
07:47It's nothing to do with you, Ted.
07:49Yeah, but it is.
07:51Yeah, but it is.
07:52No, it's nothing to do with you.
07:54Yeah, but it is.
07:57Nicely judged, Mr. Minced pie, as they call you.
08:00It's really heated for a while, isn't it?
08:02There you go, Teddy.
08:05I have got some cream.
08:06Stop.
08:07Whoa.
08:08Ted, do you want a bit of squirty cream?
08:09I wonder if he squirted it into his mouth, if he'd just keep going.
08:12And he'd grow up.
08:14And then...
08:15Ted, where exactly?
08:26I'll have a go.
08:27You've got a fish with a nymph, right?
08:28Well, there's one, Grayling.
08:30There's more.
08:30There's more.
08:31Yeah.
08:31Just mind those berries, right?
08:35Whoa, that's beautiful, you lucky sod.
08:37Right, keep...
08:38Come on, that's it.
08:38Keep that line off the water.
08:40Track it down.
08:43Give that little line a mend.
08:45That's it, like that.
08:46That's good.
08:49Another calf.
08:50Oh, Bob, Bob.
08:52Oh, nice.
08:54That's a good fish, Bob.
08:55It's a good fish.
08:55I know it's a good fish.
08:56I can see it is.
08:57I think he might have a seat right there or a big gray.
09:00It's a good fish.
09:02Go on and try and get it on the reel.
09:04But mainly keep contact.
09:05Okay.
09:06So now don't wind.
09:07That's a good fish, Bob.
09:08I'm on the reel.
09:10Oh.
09:10Right, you can wind a little bit.
09:15Go on.
09:16Have you got the net?
09:17Yeah.
09:20I haven't even seen it yet, Bob, have you?
09:22No.
09:23It's too big to see.
09:24It's a massive trout.
09:28All right.
09:30Oh, please, don't go.
09:32Come on.
09:32No, come on, come on.
09:33We've got to get this fish.
09:34Come on.
09:35Come on.
09:37Oh, yes.
09:38Boom.
09:39Boom.
09:40Whoa.
09:42Look at the size of him.
09:44Wow.
09:45That's a lovely sea trout, Bob.
09:47Look at it.
09:47You can.
09:49I think we're talking records here, Paul.
09:51I'm going to get on to the mare.
09:53Oh, we'll get him back.
09:55Yeah.
09:55What a magnificent fish.
09:56Wow.
09:57Well done, Bob.
09:59Hold him till he's ready.
10:01I think he'll be gone soon, but...
10:04And away!
10:07Not going to get better than that, Paul.
10:08No, it ain't, Bob.
10:09Let's go to the accommodation.
10:10Okay.
10:11Our first Christmas accommodation.
10:12Thank you for that, sir.
10:13Well done, mate.
10:14I don't know if I can move, really, but...
10:15Oh, there's a big lump here.
10:17And I don't mean me.
10:18Hey!
10:19Right.
10:24Oh, that sea trout, Paul.
10:26Yeah.
10:26That's going to haunt you for years.
10:27He tugged you, didn't he, eh?
10:29Lying.
10:31You're never going to let it lie, are you?
10:33Never.
10:34No.
10:41I thought for Christmas...
10:43Oh.
10:43I'd bring you somewhere...
10:45Yeah.
10:45It's so special, it would rip your heart out of your body, cleanse it and return it fully functioning.
10:51Let's hope so.
10:52It needs a bit of an upgrade, Bob, really.
10:54Because this place is gorgeous.
10:57Whoa!
10:57Is that the sea?
10:59And...
10:59Wow.
11:00To your right here...
11:01Ooh.
11:02...Camel Quarry House.
11:03Oh!
11:04Look at that!
11:06Well, thank you, Bob.
11:08Our best yet.
11:09It's a beauty!
11:10Could be.
11:10Cornish beauty, come on.
11:15Whoa!
11:19Teletick.
11:20Come on, see the bedrooms.
11:22Go on, in.
11:22Up you go, you sprightly old fella.
11:25Oh, yeah.
11:25I'm going to take a chance on a...
11:28Left.
11:30Oh, this one is very me, Paul.
11:32I've chosen, but I'll join you on your quest.
11:34Come on.
11:36Yes.
11:37Oh, I've made a terrible mistake, Paul.
11:40You have, Bob.
11:41Feel free to enjoy the view for about eight seconds.
11:45Eight seconds is not enough.
11:50Come on, Bob, you've seen enough.
11:51You've got the best room.
11:52Come on, out.
11:53Upstairs.
11:54I think.
11:55Ooh.
11:56Whoa!
11:57Whoa!
11:59Boom?
12:01Yeah, boom, banger, bang, boom.
12:03Isn't that something?
12:05Wow.
12:05I feel like we've arrived.
12:07Because that is Cornwall.
12:10That's the Camel Estuary.
12:11Yeah, and it's most beautiful.
12:12Rit large, isn't it?
12:15Got a special guest coming soon.
12:17Any minute now, in fact.
12:19So behave yourself.
12:20Can you get rid of your windy pops now?
12:22Do you like the look of this, Paul?
12:37Char-coot-tree is what they call it.
12:41Char-coot-tree.
12:42Char-coot-tree.
12:43That's Ted's dog biscuits and a bit of cheese.
12:45Oh, right.
12:46Can he do that?
12:47Absolutely, yeah.
12:48The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
12:54He maketh me to lie down.
12:58Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.
13:00Who chinged me?
13:01Ching, ching, ching.
13:03It's Christmas.
13:05Oh, thank you for coming.
13:07It's a bloody holder.
13:08Hello.
13:10Hello, love.
13:11Hi there.
13:11How are you?
13:12Yeah, I'm all right, darling.
13:13Can I come on that side, actually, at the same time?
13:15Why do you want them?
13:15I just want to be in a sort of sandwich.
13:17Oh, that's lovely.
13:19A couple of chunks, you are.
13:21Honky chunks.
13:21What have you brought?
13:22Do you want to see what this is?
13:23Go on, then.
13:24My husband has made you this.
13:26It's a cake.
13:27Yes.
13:27It's a fruit.
13:28It's sultana and cherries.
13:29Lovely.
13:30With icing on the top.
13:32Because what he knows about you two.
13:35Oh, that's nice.
13:35I mean, he likes you, but I like you more.
13:38He knows that both of you are on my I'm Allowed To list.
13:42No.
13:43You are kidding.
13:44Yeah.
13:44Let's get to it.
13:45Come on.
13:47But it is only if he's conked.
13:49Oh, right.
13:50And if you were both single, which you're not.
13:52Yeah.
13:53Yeah, so it's not going to happen, obviously.
13:54No, it's not, is it?
13:55No.
13:55But, you know.
13:56So we've got a cake in lieu, have we?
13:58Yeah, you have.
13:59OK.
13:59I'll bring this over.
14:00Right, come on.
14:01You come in turns.
14:06So this is Cornwall.
14:08This is your parish, isn't it?
14:09Yeah.
14:09Well, it's a tricky one for me, this, because half of my family are from Devon.
14:15Boo.
14:16Oh.
14:16And half are from Cornwall.
14:18Boo.
14:19Oh, no, sorry.
14:19Hooray.
14:20Hooray.
14:21So I'm sort of dual heritage.
14:23It's a bit War of the Roses, kind of.
14:26You're quite synonymous with Christmas.
14:29Well, I suppose so.
14:30The free Christmas dinners.
14:31Yeah?
14:32Yeah.
14:32Did you actually really eat free Christmas dinners?
14:34You know how they make telly.
14:36I ate one Brussels sprout.
14:38You're joking, mate.
14:39In that whole thing.
14:40Oh, you've broken his heart.
14:42Boy, I will.
14:44Don, will you ever do another Dibley, do you think?
14:47No?
14:47There's only one person left, but there's only James left out of the whole cast.
14:53Just imagine that.
14:53Wow.
14:54That's what happens when you start a sitcom with older people.
14:56Yeah.
14:57Bob gone fishing on his own.
14:59Yeah.
15:00Laughing at my demise.
15:01Not necessarily on your own, Bob.
15:03I'm here.
15:05I'm not great at Christmas, you know.
15:07It's not that I don't like it.
15:08I think as I've got older and I've lost people in my family,
15:12I find Christmas, when you're supposed to be jolly, too much.
15:16Yeah.
15:16So I get a bit melancholy just before Christmas.
15:19But then I, every single Christmas, there is a proper Christmas miracle.
15:24And it might just be that I, you know, get myself out of a grump
15:28because it's not fair on everybody else.
15:30But I actually do cheer up by Christmas Day.
15:32By Christmas Day.
15:32But the week before, I have a bit of a slump.
15:36I think the weird thing for me is that Christmas takes you back to childhood
15:39until I miss my mum and dad at Christmas.
15:42Yeah.
15:46Can I offer you anything from the shampoo tray?
15:48A bit of, um, salami.
15:50Do you know what?
15:50I'll move it over, Dawn, and then you're not...
15:52Ted?
15:53Ted?
15:54Here, look.
15:55Look what I've got.
15:55Ted?
15:57Try this, Ted, look.
15:59There we go.
16:01Oh, the enderbite's working hard on that.
16:03LAUGHTER
16:04Cornwall, the most beautiful county, Dawn.
16:13Oh, yes.
16:14No question.
16:15And can I just say...
16:16Yeah.
16:17..jam first, always, no exceptions.
16:20Just leave it at that.
16:21Well, I do agree.
16:22I don't think you can consider cream or butter.
16:25Correct, Bob.
16:25You can't, Bob.
16:26I'm not getting drawn in on this.
16:28Cream is the crown.
16:30Do you fancy staying for a game of mousetrap, Dawn?
16:33Um, no.
16:34Come on, Dawn, it's going to be great.
16:36No.
16:37Do you fancy coming in a hot tub with us?
16:39Um, I'd rather put my eyes out, if that's all right with you.
16:43Fair enough.
16:45I sense where you come from.
16:46I mean that nicely.
16:47Oh, I know.
16:48I said, don't ask, Bob, didn't I?
16:51And you were right.
16:52You were right.
16:53Did you have a nice sleep?
17:11Not bad, yeah.
17:12We've got to get going.
17:13I know, we haven't got fish.
17:14Oh, I forgot, Paul.
17:15What I should say is, I didn't forget,
17:17but I've got the last three windows of my advent calendar to open.
17:21Do you want to do one?
17:22You do today, I'll do tomorrow.
17:24That's nice, isn't it, Bob?
17:25I like that.
17:26It's a good one, isn't it?
17:27Yeah.
17:27Good things, isn't it?
17:29Great things.
17:29Mainly chocolates.
17:31Right.
17:31But little bits of fun jewellery.
17:33Oh, trinkets.
17:34Trinkets.
17:35OK.
17:37What'd you get?
17:39A little bit of breadstick.
17:41Oh, that's a bit unlucky, isn't it?
17:43This is a trick, isn't it?
17:44No, it's not.
17:45You've enjoyed it, haven't you, little breadstick, Bob?
17:47I do, I do like breadstick, yeah.
17:49We've got to get go.
17:50That is the estuary of the river we're fishing today,
17:53the river Camel.
17:54Yeah, we're fishing upstream.
17:56I'll be like a go all day after this breadstick, won't I?
17:59The breadstick, yeah.
18:00Don't worry, I've got some stuff to take.
18:03Howie, lad.
18:08It was a treat, Ian, Don, last night, wasn't it?
18:10It was lovely.
18:11She's a very positive presence, isn't she?
18:13Yes, yeah, she is, yeah.
18:14Big, big day, though, Paul, isn't it?
18:17Awards ceremony.
18:18Oh, my God.
18:19Big, big day.
18:21Who's hosting this year?
18:22Do you know?
18:22I think I'll host it this year.
18:24Oh, what a surprise.
18:27It means we couldn't get anyone, did it?
18:29Here we are.
18:37Lovely, isn't it?
18:38This is the Camel Valley, Bob, the river Camel.
18:40Right.
18:41In Trisarap's we are.
18:42And on the menu today...
18:44Yeah.
18:45Trout.
18:46Trout.
18:46Sea trout.
18:47Yeah.
18:48Sea trout as well?
18:49Yeah, possibly salmon.
18:50Lovely.
18:50It's coming on Christmas
19:00They're cutting down trees
19:03They're putting up reindeer
19:05Singing songs of joy and peace
19:08I wish I had a river
19:10I could skate away on
19:16But it don't snow here
19:21It just stays pretty green
19:23I'm gonna make a lot of money
19:25And I'm gonna...
19:26Oh, did you miss one?
19:27Yeah.
19:28Oh.
19:28I wish I had a river
19:31I could skate away on
19:36I wish I had a river so long
19:41Oh, I've got Mr...
19:43Oh, man.
19:44Teach my feet to flow
19:48Yes.
19:55Hey, well done, Bob.
19:57Little brownie.
19:58I could skate away on
19:59Very nice.
20:02And away!
20:04Hey!
20:05Oh, it was an incredible bit of fishing, Paul.
20:07Yeah, I'm sure it was, Bob.
20:09If you did it, I'm sure it was superlative.
20:13Good stuff.
20:14I would say, Paul, that was maybe my most enjoyable bit of fishing I've ever done.
20:31Really?
20:32It was fantastic, yeah.
20:33Oh, brilliant.
20:34I don't know, just somewhat about the flow of the river and the light.
20:38The light is incredible here, isn't it?
20:44You look so sexy in those glasses, Paul.
20:48Honestly, you look nothing like Ant-Man or some sort of insect.
20:51I do look like a wasp or something, don't I?
20:53Yeah, you're a very waspy character, actually.
20:57Oh, blimey, Ted.
20:58What are we going to do with him?
21:00Ted isn't in great nature.
21:01No, all right, Bob.
21:02He's in here shortly.
21:04Mind you, he's quite deaf now.
21:06Yeah.
21:06But he doesn't look very well, does he?
21:08But he does seem happy.
21:11He does, actually, doesn't he?
21:11He does seem happy.
21:12Well, I'd say content.
21:14Content.
21:18When my son went to see Grandad in hospital, afterwards, he said to me he was glad he had,
21:25because he said, I've got to get used to loss, you know?
21:29Oh, wow.
21:30When he was a really young boy, suddenly, one day, I walked up the stairs and there was a window there.
21:36And he'd put, he'd put, stuck little letters up saying, Tina, see you, see you in the future.
21:43And it was our little cat, Tina, had died.
21:45Oh, wow.
21:45And I know he was really affected by it.
21:48Right.
21:48And it's tough when you, it's tough when a pet dies.
21:51It's really tough.
21:53Mm.
21:53Because, like, as your friendships come and go, you know, or you've got to, you've failed to maintain them or you do, you know,
21:59but your friendship with your pet is so pure, do you know what I mean?
22:02And, no, that's a very valid point, it's the devotion that they show you don't get from any other living creature, really, do you?
22:11Heartbreaking.
22:12Mm.
22:18It is brilliant to have a friend like you, you know, Paul.
22:21Don't have a go at me for saying it, it's amazing.
22:25Ant-man, wasp-face, wizened little walnut.
22:28Yeah, but...
22:29Yeah?
22:30That's because you like me.
22:32That you allow me to do it.
22:33I can take it, Bob, really, I really can take it, don't worry, mate.
22:36Imagine a world without friendship, because a lot of people live in that world, Paul.
22:40Well, yeah, that's true, Bobby.
22:42I'm just hanging on to it with you.
22:43You are fingernails, innit?
22:45But, well, thanks for that, Bob, and I feel the same, you know that, don't you?
22:49You do know that, don't you, Bob?
22:50I do, we only come out to see each other, I know, really.
22:53Yeah.
22:53Hey, Teddy.
23:07Dr. Anand's coming today.
23:13Oh, right, he's here, is he?
23:14Yeah.
23:15Oh, OK.
23:17Don't you tell Anand I've been having salami.
23:20Oh, he won't like that, will he?
23:22Well, I've just had a chocolate biscuit, that's probably not much good either.
23:25You're going to mention it, aren't you?
23:26No, I'm not.
23:27We'll see, we'll see how it all plays out, Bob.
23:30I know what you're like, so...
23:31You think the first thing I'm going to say to Anand is Paul's just had a chocolate biscuit and Anand.
23:35And it's not.
23:37The first thing I'll say is, you know what Paul's done?
23:42He's only got an head of chocolate biscuit, hasn't he?
23:46Anand-o's, and I should say, oh, that's fine.
23:48Anand-o's?
23:53Chicken and prescriptions.
23:54I really haven't had Anand-o's, Anand.
23:57Chickens and prescriptions.
24:01Anand!
24:05I'm following Ted in.
24:06Look, Ted's leading the way.
24:08Oh, easy.
24:09I know, easy.
24:09I've got trainers on.
24:10Oh, John Fisher, Doctor.
24:12Oh, how lovely to see you.
24:13Lovely to be seen.
24:13I don't want to trip over Ted, I don't want to trip over Ted.
24:19You look like one of the prettiest gnomes I've ever seen, don't you think?
24:23A little wood nymph.
24:26I'll take that in whatever spirit you're going to.
24:28Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.
24:29So, Anand, the first thing I wanted to ask genuinely is, is just earlier today, Paul had two chocolate biscuits and some cake.
24:41Right, first of all, it was one chocolate biscuit.
24:43Was it?
24:44And I just had a little, the cherry out of the cake, that's all I nibbled, right?
24:48He had cake and salami.
24:51I'm not here to police you.
24:53Well, we wish you would.
24:54People don't like being nagged.
24:57Yeah.
24:57So, what I'm here to do is, I'm here to steer you, hopefully, in a direction.
25:01And if you want to take my advice, take my advice.
25:02If you don't worry, that's absolutely fine.
25:04But equally, you know, we've all got to make our choices and deal with the consequences.
25:08It is a bit of compromise, isn't it?
25:09I was always told, if 80% of your diet is good, you're allowed 20% to do, you know, indulge yourself.
25:15See, I tell myself 70-30, so I give myself a little bit more leeway.
25:18I'm coming over to your wife.
25:21Just some general things that have interested me recently, Alan, was a lot of people around me are taking vitamin supplements.
25:28Yes.
25:28All sorts of supplements.
25:30Somehow, I don't believe that that pill or liquid is the same as a leaf of spinach.
25:35I don't think it is. I don't think it is, Bob.
25:36So, you're absolutely right. Supplements are brilliant if you've got a deficient diet.
25:41The supplements you need need to be tailored to your age range, and they need to be tailored to whatever disease is going on.
25:47Or your diet, for example.
25:49If you're vegetarian or vegan, you might lack protein, you might lack calcium if you don't eat dairy.
25:55So, it's kind of like, well, what do we need?
25:56And if you're a 70-kilo, 65-year-old, you need to be taking 70 to 80 grams of protein per day.
26:02You should be getting some of that, if you eat meat, from meat, a bit of oily fish, lentils, pulses, eggs, cheese.
26:09You know, all those sources are good sources of protein.
26:11And why particularly for older people?
26:13So, as you get older, your ability to hold on to muscle gets less.
26:16So, you get something, what's called sarcopenia, where literally your muscles start to dissolve away as you get older.
26:22And having poorer muscle strength, which we're going to test in a bit, is linked to living longer.
26:27So, actually, if your muscle strength is poorer, you actually become frail.
26:31And frailty is basically a condition where any small change to your health could knock you over into losing independent living.
26:37And that could be like, you know, you can't live in your own home anymore.
26:39You can't do stairs.
26:40So, I've got a little testing thing here.
26:42Right.
26:42We're just going to use your grip strength.
26:44And they did a study of 150,000 people.
26:47Yeah.
26:47And they found that your grip strength is a better marker of your long-term health than your blood pressure.
26:52Really?
26:52So, that's why I brought it today just to see, because it's such an easy thing to do.
26:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:56You can get these online so easily.
26:58I'm excited.
26:59Do you want to have a go?
26:59Yeah.
27:00Do you want it?
27:00Marthous.
27:00Okay.
27:01The idea is that you hold it like that at right angles.
27:04Right.
27:04Okay.
27:05And what you're doing is squeezing as hard as you can when I say now.
27:09So, ready?
27:10And on three.
27:10One, two, three, go.
27:12Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:13Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:15Good man.
27:1728.2.
27:18Yeah, that's the bad one.
27:20Obviously, this is not necessarily the perfect test if you've got hand arthritis.
27:24But 28.2.
27:25What that means is that you have a level of sort of hand strength and fitness that is above the minimum level, which is really important.
27:32The minimum level for men is kind of about 25 kilograms, and it's 18 for women.
27:37Right.
27:38If yours is below that, you're actually really at high risk of having low muscle mass.
27:42You're more likely to fall over, more likely to break your hip, more likely to lose your mobility, and more likely to end up in a home.
27:48So, it's really important.
27:49I'm worried now.
27:49You're going to smash me at bases on this.
27:52Right.
27:52So, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:54Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
27:56Done.
27:5743.
27:5843!
27:59Jeez, I'll never hear the end of it.
28:01Can I just say, can I just say, that is the sign of a healthy level of muscle at your age.
28:07That's fantastic.
28:08Oh, please.
28:0843.9.
28:10That's amazing.
28:1115 seconds ago, I thought I'm heading to a care home.
28:14No, mate, no.
28:15Now I'm striding past it saying, hello, Paul.
28:18Yeah.
28:20Hey, man, would you have a bit of mulled wine?
28:22I'd love a bit of mulled wine.
28:24I made this myself on my farm.
28:27No, you didn't.
28:27Correct.
28:32Well, thank you so much for coming.
28:34Merry Christmas.
28:34For our bagside consultations.
28:36They're a joy.
28:38Look how pleased you are.
28:42There's a kind of musty smell around.
28:58I think it's...
28:59I can only imagine it's you, Bob.
29:02Be slightly more...
29:04What do you mean?
29:04Is it biscuity?
29:05Is it biscuit?
29:07Oxo-cubin old man.
29:09Yeah, well, I had an oxo-cubin with biscuits and I'm an old man.
29:12And you're an old man.
29:13Well, there we are.
29:13Got it spot on, then.
29:17Let's have a smell of you.
29:18Go on.
29:21What do you reckon?
29:22Don't know.
29:22Have you been eating eggs?
29:24Oh, no.
29:25That's probably trapped wind in me waders, isn't it?
29:28Oh, that's great.
29:28Yeah.
29:31I'm going to have to go off and get the awards ceremony ready.
29:35Oh, OK.
29:36Be smart, though, Paul.
29:38Yeah?
29:39What, for the awards?
29:39Yeah, and be respectful of the occasion.
29:41I've arranged transport for you.
29:43Don't you worry.
29:44Well, will the occasion respect me?
29:46Of course it will.
29:48Ish.
29:49Yeah.
29:50See you at the awards, Paul.
29:52I cannot wait.
29:54We should have an award for wrist strength.
29:56The hopes we had were much too high.
30:02Way out of reach, but we have to try.
30:08The game will never be over.
30:13Because we're keeping the dream alive.
30:16How are you there?
30:22Hey, mate.
30:22How are you?
30:23Lovely to see you.
30:23You're OK.
30:24Lovely to see you.
30:25Welcome.
30:26Thanks for having us, Paul.
30:27I was actually looking for Rick Steyer's place.
30:29Yeah.
30:29Just down there.
30:32But listen, I am absolutely honoured that you've chosen us for these prestigious awards.
30:37And aren't they?
30:39Yeah.
30:39Yeah.
30:39They are.
30:40So come on in.
30:41A Cornish Christmas dinner.
30:50That's what we're looking for.
30:51Yeah.
30:52Well, this is a Cornish Christmas dinner.
30:53Right.
30:54With a difference, because we're going to replace what people would ordinarily probably have in
30:58turkey, hams, beef.
31:00We're going to do a whole baked turbot, but with all the trimmings and a lovely sort of turbot
31:06chicken gravy, which you're going to help me to do.
31:09Yes, please.
31:11I mean, I've got five BAFTAs, five, but nothing beats a gone fishing lifetime achievement.
31:22Just like to thank my family, but most of all, Ted, for being such a stalwart companion.
31:30Grab that, will you?
31:31With cooking, it always starts at the beginning, building up those layers of flavour.
31:36Yeah.
31:36So in here, we've got some rosemary and thyme.
31:38So what we do is, we just take some of that rosemary and thyme, then rub it between our
31:43hands, because all herbs, they contain essential oils, so if you just have the smell of that
31:48now, all right, just get that into our garlic, our shallots.
31:51Beginning to smell like Christmas.
31:52How much does a kitchen like this cost?
31:56Half a million pounds.
31:57Ooh!
31:59Yeah.
32:00Oops.
32:01Sell some food, then.
32:02Yeah.
32:03Yeah.
32:06Come on, Ted.
32:07Come on, I can hardly contain myself.
32:10I don't know about you.
32:12I'll come in my own time, son.
32:15Afternoon, sir.
32:16Can I come aboard?
32:18Yeah.
32:24Whoa, look at that, fella.
32:26It's a beauty.
32:27Yes, it is.
32:29So that's what a turbot looks like.
32:30Yeah, that's a turbot.
32:31We regard this as king of the sea.
32:33Right.
32:34It's just superior in flavour.
32:36With it being Christmas, I've got a lovely Cornish sparkling wine in with the onions.
32:40All right.
32:41Lay the turbot on top and bake in the oven.
32:44Right.
32:45Let's do this.
32:55That lovely, Ted.
32:56Look, there's padstow over there.
32:57That's where we're going.
32:58Apparently, that's where the big ceremony is.
33:02Ah!
33:03Hey!
33:06You saw it.
33:07Look at that.
33:07You know I'm up for the next James Bond, don't you?
33:11I'll do me a favour.
33:21Cut a dash, didn't I, mate, eh?
33:24Ted, you're deaf as a pilot, didn't you?
33:26Pardon?
33:31Right, let's get these cabbages on.
33:32So we're just going to brush them.
33:33Yeah.
33:34With a little bit of butter.
33:35Right.
33:35And then I want you to put them that side down.
33:37Yep.
33:37On the barbecue.
33:39Perfect.
33:40And we've just lightly steamed these cabbages.
33:42Right.
33:43So that they're nice and cooked and we just get flavour from the barbecue.
33:47That's beautiful.
33:48Yes.
33:49Now we're cooking.
33:52Come, Ted.
33:53Come on.
33:53Walk.
33:54There he is.
33:55This is the place.
33:56Little old mum.
33:57I'll tell you what, you know, dogs aren't normally allowed in here.
34:00Come on.
34:00I don't know anywhere I want, mate.
34:02I'll go anywhere I like.
34:03South London, East London, South of France, Choraisa, Venezuela.
34:20So, Lady Bird.
34:22Good evening, sir.
34:24Hello.
34:24What do you want?
34:26Well, could I look at the menu or see the wine list?
34:29Would you like to see the wine list?
34:30Yeah, I would.
34:31There you go.
34:33Actually, we don't serve wine to the over 80s.
34:37It can put them into shock.
34:41Are you a halfwit or something?
34:43Some people say, sir.
34:44I'm not surprised.
34:46Will you be requiring the entertainment tonight, sir?
34:50Oh, well, yeah.
34:51I see you've got a hound with you.
34:53No hounds.
34:53Yeah, no.
34:54He's got a special dispensation.
34:56He's not any old hound.
34:57Who is he then?
34:57He's Ted.
34:59Ted the dog?
35:00Yeah.
35:01He's actually a sort of guest of Bob Mortimer's.
35:07Who did you say?
35:09You're so easy, aren't you?
35:10Bob Mortimer!
35:11It's you, isn't it?
35:12Yeah!
35:12It's you.
35:13Oh!
35:14You can see a wine list.
35:16Yeah.
35:16Thank you, sir.
35:17There you go.
35:18Thank you very much.
35:19I've been preparing, I'm going to call it a Cornish Christmas dinner.
35:23Not what you might expect.
35:25Really?
35:25Have you been helping in the kitchen?
35:27I've been helping, yeah.
35:27Have you?
35:28Because I heard the fire alarm go off.
35:30Yeah.
35:30What did you do?
35:31I was burning cabbage.
35:33Oh, really?
35:34Yeah.
35:34Oh, that will do it then.
35:35What do I need?
35:39Looking forward to this.
35:40It's on its way.
35:41It looks amazing.
35:44Cheers.
35:46Oh, it didn't clink.
35:47That's fancy glasses.
35:48Isn't it?
35:49Wow.
35:52Oh, look at that.
35:54Oh, thank you so much.
35:55Roast turbot with all the trimmings.
35:57Roast turbot.
35:59And there you have it.
36:01Enjoy.
36:02And thank you for your help, Bob.
36:04No worries.
36:04Thank you, Paul.
36:06I'm going in.
36:06Come on.
36:07Oh.
36:07Mm.
36:08Tire of that is amazing.
36:10You really do spoil me, Bob.
36:13Well, work stews come along once a year.
36:16We might as well make the most of it, Paul.
36:18How many categories are there this year?
36:20Two.
36:21So I'll be quick, yeah?
36:22There will be laughter and prizes galore.
36:33Who's going to miss and who's going to score?
36:36It's the gun fishing annual awards.
36:44Oh, loud to you, baby.
36:47First up, Paul, employee of the year.
36:50This is the trophy you won last year, so it has to be returned, I'm afraid.
36:56Oh, no.
36:57I don't really want to give it back, Bob.
36:59It's become such a part of my life, but...
37:00Here we go.
37:02Nominations are...
37:03Let's see.
37:05Woo, woo, woo!
37:06Yeah!
37:07Let's fish.
37:08Ah!
37:09Ah!
37:09Yeah, you got me.
37:10First cast, you got me, Bob.
37:11Well, why were you still there?
37:12Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
37:13Yes, I know.
37:14You're in, then, without knowing.
37:16That's angling, Paul.
37:18Do you like watching me fish sort of?
37:19Yeah, you can learn, can't you?
37:21Yeah.
37:23Ah!
37:24Yes, he's in!
37:24Yes!
37:25Do not wind, do not wind, Bob.
37:28I'm not winding, I'm just tidying up the reel.
37:32There's my dancing, that's specialist stuff, that.
37:34Wallow!
37:34Yes!
37:36Whoa, he's fresh.
37:37Look at the colours of that.
37:38Whoa!
37:40Ted's arriving in style, isn't he?
37:41Yeah, well, he's at...
37:42No, he's going to be terrible, but of course he's going to need to.
37:45Oh, I'm all right.
37:45You look so heroic.
37:48Oh, look at that guy.
37:50Oh, there's a fault.
37:54Oh, there's another.
37:56What's that salmon, is it?
37:57Not for you, Ted.
37:59Yeah, but it is.
38:00I'm pleased yourselves.
38:03Cool, haven't we had some laughs?
38:04Haven't we had some laughs?
38:05Oh, this is the moment.
38:09Yeah?
38:10Go on.
38:13And the winner is...
38:16Bob Mortimer.
38:18Oh!
38:19Yes, please!
38:21Wow!
38:22It's a revelation.
38:24Oh, come on, Paul.
38:25It's welding there.
38:26I'm so pleased for you, Bob.
38:27And there's a trophy as well.
38:28Oh, for God.
38:29It's actually a crown.
38:35Oh, that feels good.
38:36Hey, there we are.
38:37Did one of the jewels just fall off?
38:39Yeah, it did.
38:39Heavy is the head that wears a crown in your case, isn't it?
38:43The size of it.
38:44The size of the...
38:44Your head, I mean.
38:46Well, there we are.
38:47There's one category down.
38:48Let's not prolong the agony.
38:50Let's crack on.
38:50I'll take this off out of respect for the award, OK?
38:53OK, thank you.
38:54Because the next award is...
38:57That's...
38:57This is a biggie.
38:58Lifetime achievement.
38:59If you've given it to yourself,
39:02I'm walking out of this restaurant.
39:03I'm never looking back.
39:04Don't walk out, Paul.
39:05I'm going to, Bob.
39:06If you've given it to yourself...
39:08Let's have a look.
39:08Oh, let's have a look at this.
39:09Let's have a look.
39:11Ted.
39:12Cute little Billy.
39:13Billy, I thought that nine years ago, sir.
39:17You come and fish, remember, Ted?
39:19Teddy.
39:20Mind the rod.
39:21Oh, this is worse than me, isn't he?
39:23Can you shift over a bit, Ted?
39:25What's he actually achieved?
39:27Well, he's had a lifetime, hasn't he?
39:28Oh, yeah, I'm spying.
39:30Teddy, fetch.
39:31Oh, go on.
39:32Nah.
39:34Is Ted a dog?
39:35He's a species all of his own, isn't he, Ted?
39:38You all right, Ted?
39:40It's like we've super-glued him there, isn't it?
39:43Look, you can move, Ted.
39:44Yeah, it's Ted, isn't it?
39:46You're not going to come sort of...
39:48...line-side and win, are you?
39:50Well, I don't think so.
39:51I haven't only unbroke yet.
39:52Look at the state of him.
39:53And that's when he went insane.
39:58Remember, you have always got us two.
40:01That's right, Ted.
40:02Yeah.
40:02You got us.
40:03Well, let's just confirm it, Paul.
40:05The winner is Ted.
40:07Well deserved, Ted.
40:09Well done, Ted.
40:09Absolutely.
40:10If ever there was a winner there was,
40:12then Ted's the winner there was.
40:13There was.
40:14Yeah.
40:14Teddy, you've got a crown.
40:15Wow.
40:18Let's present ourselves to the camera, Ted.
40:20Kings of the show.
40:27There is someone else on the show, isn't there, Ted?
40:28Yeah, I don't know.
40:30He's a sort of a shadow.
40:34Oh, don't go, Paul.
40:36You might win next year.
40:42He's off.
40:42We are the champions.
40:47No time for losing.
40:50Come on, Ted.
40:59That's one of Paul's.
41:00Leave it alone.
41:01Come on.
41:01Breakfast, Paul.
41:26I'll put a little bit of holly on yours, cheer you up.
41:29After last night.
41:31You're not bitter, are you, Paul?
41:32Forgotten all that.
41:33I'm an adult, Bob, so no, I'm not bitter.
41:35It just reflects badly on you, you know.
41:38We've got a long drive today.
41:39We're going west, west, west, west, west.
41:41Where are we going?
41:42Mouse hole.
41:43But do you know what they call it?
41:44The Cornish people?
41:46It'll be muzzle or something.
41:47It's not far off, actually.
41:48Mousel.
41:49Mousel.
41:50Mousel.
41:50But for you and me, it will forever be?
41:53Mouse.
41:54Mouse.
41:54Heel.
41:55Ah, you pet.
41:56Right, come on.
41:57If I had a deep voice.
42:08I would sing a ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-wing-a-wing-a-boo.
42:13All day long I'd sing a ling-a-ling.
42:17If I had a very deep voice.
42:20If I had a high voice.
42:22I would undel, lo-del, lo-del, lo-del, lo-del.
42:24You
42:30We're gonna pass by a place called st. Michael's mount, but I don't want to them islands off the oh, yeah
42:36Shall we stop give Ted a walk? I mean I'm seizing up here. Yeah, I wouldn't mind a leg stretch dog
42:42Not said he got come on let's go
43:12Just cause it's the season the perfect gift for me would be
43:21There's your first little look at my soul. Oh look quintessentially Cornish
43:29Call it it wasn't designed for the car was it Bob getting on everyone's nerves
43:34We're trying to enjoy this peaceful town. Oh, I'll look at those boats as well. Aren't they lovely?
43:40I love a painted boat don't you Bob?
43:41Yeah, sweet you know look that light blue. That's a nice one. You know in oh, that's a nice one look the black and yellow
43:50Don't like that one taking me out on the boat and I am last chance to catch a fish
43:57Come Teddy
43:59Wow what morning I've got what a morning now the guy we're going out with today on the boat Neil
44:05He's got a very special relationship with now. So he's a mouse old boy. Yeah, his dad
44:09Mm-hmm was on the boat that went out in 1981
44:14Penley disaster where all the lifeboat men were lost at sea
44:17I mean, I have heard of that. Yeah, and the boat they went to rescue as well went down
44:22So proper tragedy. He'll have a tell-to-tell then he certainly will mate
44:26He'll have a tell-to-tell then he'll have a tell-to-tell then he'll have a good chance of catching a mackerel or two and maybe a pallet or two. We'll see what we can do
44:38You've got an involvement with the penalty disaster, haven't you yeah, my father was was lost on the penny lifeboat and I was turned away that night
44:59I was a lifeboat man. I was only 17
45:02But like everyone every man when I was 70 and I knew everything. Yeah, yeah
45:06You've got to remember I've been playing rain in boats since I was four or five year old
45:09That's all I've ever done. Yeah, Trevelyan the coxswain refused to take me
45:12They refused to take two from one family, so I was turned away. Wow and your dad was lost my dad was lost
45:18Yeah, I mean never forget them
45:19I'm fiercely proud of what they did that night
45:20I mean the weather conditions was the worst in living memory. I've never seen weather like it. How old was your dad, Neil?
45:26My dad was 42
45:29I got all of them. They're all family friends all better
45:32Of course, it's such a small community and tight obviously has to be done it it completely didn't change mausel forever mausel never recovered from that
45:41Do you do anything to sort of celebrate the memory of those people the 19th that we have the famous Christmas lights and they're dimmed
45:46Then we have our own memories and all you have your own like no, you know, yeah, let's fish today in memory. Yeah, dad
45:52See if we can get something for him
45:56Oh
46:14Over there Bob look you see that cross and I think that's a oh, yeah, that's a memorial light to the penalty victims. All right
46:26What we're doing we're trying for a pallet and we've got some silver shrimp on I've hit the bottom so I'll put that over now
46:38Sorry, just wind up a little bit
46:40And the idea is to wind up nice and slowly to keep that keep that lure moving all the time. I keep winding all the way
46:47Yeah
46:49I
46:51Couldn't have picked a better day for it. Oh, we're lucky aren't we lucky lads?
46:57Ted's loving it. He might loving this. He's having a good time, isn't he?
47:01I'm searching for the bottom Paul. I'm hitting the bottom there and I'm gonna fish down there for a bit. Yeah
47:29It will be funny Christmas this year without granddad there. Yeah, it's strange
47:43You know you hear that that some older people kind of know they're on their last legs want to get a last Christmas in
47:49Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what happened with my parents. They both died. Yeah
47:54On the same date. I mean years apart
47:57But January the 15th. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how sentient my mum was about or conscious of Christmas
48:05But it's a extraordinary
48:09Coincidence that
48:11Because that's supposed to be isn't it that time of year is
48:14Yeah, and I wonder if people have just managed to hold on hold on have Christmas
48:19See the familiar faces one last time. Yeah
48:23Well, we'll never know really probably
48:27My dear old dad always said to me and I'll always try to live my life like it. Just be nice. That's all you gotta do
48:32Yeah
48:33Treat people you want to be treated. You can't go far wrong. I don't think
48:36Yeah, sure mate
48:37Paul treats me pretty bad. Does he? I've seen that, yeah
48:42He's for his own good though, Neil
48:46Keep him on his toes
48:48Yeah
48:53Come on, you're not fishing very well. Sort yourself out
48:56Come on, Bob
48:58The people of Mousel depend on you
49:00This could be our last chance, you know
49:02I know
49:03Neil wants to get to the bookies
49:09Is there a bookies in Mousel?
49:10No
49:12We had three grocery shops, a shoe shop
49:15Two butchers when I grew up
49:17There's none anymore
49:18No shoes?
49:19They're all gone
49:20Should we do a launch in a pail?
49:22Send shoes to Mousel
49:23Yeah
49:24Oh
49:25He's in
49:38That might be the bottom actually
49:42Come on
49:43I don't know what it is
49:44Shall I wind in or keep going?
49:46Couple of mackerel here, look
49:48Have you got mackerel?
49:49Yeah
49:50Well done, Paul
49:51Let's get that hand twisted
49:52Look
49:54Mackerel!
49:55Two mackerel, look at that
49:57Fresh as pain, look at them
49:59Oh, you mind your fingers
50:00Wow
50:01It's a very pretty fish, you know, Paul
50:03It really is
50:04Yeah, you grab that
50:05Wow, look at it
50:06Electric fish, isn't it?
50:08What a creature
50:10Amazing
50:11Wow
50:12That's what we've come for
50:13And that is our first
50:14First ever mackerel
50:15Wow
50:16Look at the sheen on it
50:18Took us seven or eight years
50:20Ha ha ha
50:23It's been brilliant now
50:24It's been lovely
50:25What a glorious day
50:26But we've got our Christmas night to compile
50:29Oh ho ho
50:30What have you got lined up for me, Bob?
50:31You'll have to wait and see
50:33Oh, well, alright, well
50:34Excited
50:36Maybe this Christmas
50:38Will mean something more
50:41Maybe this year
50:43Love will appear
50:45Deeper than ever before
50:50And maybe forget
50:51Wind yourself down here, Paul
50:56Halt
50:57Because we are staying here
51:00Lovely
51:01Do you know what it is?
51:02No
51:03Quaint
51:04Quaint's a good description
51:05Yeah, it is, isn't it?
51:06Quaint works
51:07Come on in
51:08Maybe this Christmas
51:10Woo
51:11Whoa
51:14Christmas
51:15Is here, Bob
51:16Oh, how lovely
51:17That is just what I ordered
51:19Christmas vibe
51:20Hello, Christmas
51:21Lovely
51:23Ooh
51:24You manage those stairs, old timer?
51:26Yeah, not too bad
51:27Oh, this is lovely
51:29Look at this
51:30Oh, a little living room
51:32Nice
51:33Twin beds
51:34Have you brought your twins?
51:35Here
51:36This is a nice one
51:37Harbour View
51:39Bob
51:40Look at this
51:41Look
51:42Oh, way up
51:43Oh, yeah
51:44Wow
51:45I look after you
51:46I really look after you
51:47Don't you
51:48Don't you, mate?
51:49Happy Christmas
51:50Where's my proof case?
51:52I'll give you a clue, Ted
51:53It's right here
51:54Ha, ha, ha
51:55Here we go
51:58Oh, dear
52:00It's Laurel and Harley, isn't it?
52:03Ha, ha, ha
52:16Watch your ears, Ted
52:24Nice
52:25A few more of these
52:28Come on, old timer
52:30Ooh
52:31Look at this
52:32Cool
52:33Who have you had in?
52:34Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen?
52:35No
52:36It's amazing, look at that
52:37Cheers
52:38For a lovely Christmas trip
52:39Yeah
52:40Is this cornish champagne?
52:42Mmm
52:43I've got your present, Paul
52:45Have you?
52:46Yeah
52:47Is that okay?
52:48I think it is
52:49Because I've got one for you
52:50Would you like it?
52:52Yes, please
52:53Do you think you deserve it?
52:54Yes, I do
52:55Even after all your gloating
52:56With your crowns
52:57And your self-aggrandisation
52:58You still think you deserve a present?
53:00Hey, if you don't want to give it to us
53:01Don't
53:02Of course I do, Bob
53:03Because
53:04I am give, give, give
53:06Ooh
53:07Ooh
53:09Go on, then
53:11Yep
53:12There it is
53:14Oh, it's a clonker
53:15It is, isn't it?
53:16It suits me
53:17It's gentleman-y
53:18And if you get annoyed with me
53:20Yeah?
53:21You can just go
53:22Boom
53:23Like that
53:24And if I've made a mistake in the bath
53:25We can just quickly
53:26You can just scoop it up
53:29Thank you very much
53:30I can tell this is actually rather beautiful, Paul
53:32It is a cracker, isn't it?
53:33Walnut?
53:34Yeah
53:35Oh
53:36It's just there on the plate
53:38Thank you very much
53:40Oh, no, it's a beauty, isn't it?
53:41That makes me so happy
53:42I mean, it is lovely
53:43Hmm
53:44But mine's a bad present
53:45Happy Christmas to you
53:46Competitive, Bob
53:47Thank you, Bob
53:48I wonder what this is
53:49If you like it, I hope you like it
53:50Is it a picture of Bob in a crown?
53:52It's a confession calendar
53:56It's nice
53:57Do you see?
53:59I thought I'd make you look nice
54:01I see
54:02Well, I look pretty good like that
54:03Don't I?
54:04I look like Laurence Llewellyn Bowen
54:05You do, yeah?
54:06Just relaxing in front of some books
54:10There's a nice one of you, isn't it?
54:12Isn't that nice, you and Ted?
54:18Oh, you look quite short there, don't you?
54:20A little tiny head
54:22Look at that
54:26Boom!
54:29That was a bit rude boy mode, wasn't it?
54:32Yeah, I did like that one
54:34I tell you what, Bob
54:35It's not far off, is it?
54:39Well, thank you
54:40What a treat
54:41I should probably go and get our little meal
54:44Go on then
54:45We're going to have turkey
54:46And some cake
54:48It's a beauty, isn't it?
54:49My favourite meal of the Christmas period
54:51Ah!
54:56Go on, slice me off some breast
54:58Beautiful
54:59It's nicely cooked
55:00Oh, it is, isn't it?
55:01Look at that
55:02Lovely, yeah
55:06Ah, you cheeky fella
55:08It's actually a turkey cake
55:09It's a turkey cake?
55:10It's a turkey cake
55:11It's a turkey cake
55:12Oh, lovely
55:13Isn't that sensational?
55:14I'm going in
55:15Well done, Bob
55:16A lovely bit of trickery there
55:17Christmas trickery
55:19Lovely, mate
55:20There he goes
55:21Because you know Christmas is a time when he can be a little bit naughty
55:23There he goes
55:24Change my wake
55:25Do you want a carrot?
55:27Go on
55:28Oh, hold on a minute
55:30Hold on
55:31Wait a minute
55:32Hold on
55:33Wait a minute
55:34You two tricksters
55:35What are you doing to me?
55:36What are you doing to me?
55:37Bloody hell, that's the nicest carrot I've ever had for me
55:40Yeah
55:41Yeah
55:42Yeah
55:43MUSIC
55:47Pretty by the end of our Cornish Christmas trip, Bob.
55:52It is.
55:53How are you feeling about going home?
55:54Because it's going to be your first Christmas without your granddad.
55:58It will be different and we'll all miss him.
56:00Yeah.
56:01And it will never be the same again.
56:03No.
56:04But we'll pull a cracker on his anniversary.
56:07He liked a cracker.
56:08Well, it's actually good to have very fond, positive memories of people, you know.
56:13I do with my parents.
56:15Those, my parents, your granddad, they had a long life, so.
56:19Did have a long life.
56:20Yeah.
56:20And here's a nice thing, is around our Christmas table when the boys were young and granddad was sat there,
56:27the little boys and granddad would always wear their paper hat.
56:31Right.
56:32We were all too vain and full of ourselves.
56:35Yeah.
56:35But all granddad and the kids.
56:38That's what granddad's for, really.
56:40Granddad's are for wearing paper hats.
56:41Sit there, be quiet, put the hat on, granddad.
56:43And carry them home, home, home from the sea, angel of mercy, answer our plea.
56:53Can you hear that?
56:55I can, yeah.
56:57So sing it.
56:59You've done.
57:00Come with me to the window.
57:03For a final Christmas spectacular.
57:06Come on.
57:06All right, mate.
57:06Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy.
57:16The mouse hole, male voice choir.
57:21Let earth receive a gift.
57:26Oh, I love a male voice choir.
57:27I know you do.
57:28I know you do.
57:29My heart, prepare him room.
57:33Joy to the world, the saviour reigns.
57:39Let all their songs employ.
57:44Happy Christmas, Paul.
57:45Merry Christmas, Paul, mate.
57:46Merry Christmas.
57:46Thanks, mate.
57:47What an amazing treat.
57:48Joy, joy, joy, joy.
58:01And Merry Christmas to you all.
58:04Thank you very much.
58:05And away.
58:06Cheers and gone.
58:08Cheers and gone.
58:09There's no more little secrets
58:13We haven't yet disclosed
58:16We bother living daylights
58:19A better one to close
58:22And all our cards for Christmas
58:25Are written to us both
58:28Count the mark
58:31Who's got the most?
58:35Said we'd be close
58:37Said we'd work perfectly
58:40Said that
58:41Celebrities in a spin
58:43For Michael McIntyre's
58:44Christmas Wheel
58:45Christmas Day
58:46At a quarter to seven
58:47A chill in the air
58:49Next on BBC Two Wales
58:50New from Margetis
58:52Who else?
58:53A ghost story
58:54For Christmas
58:55Shadow that she'll smother
58:58It's too close for the lover
59:01It's too close for the lover
59:04We are each other
59:07Dare to feel like
59:09Instead of the love
59:10As it's too close for the lover
59:10I love you
59:11I love you
59:12I love you
59:12I love you
59:13I love you
59:13I love you
59:14I love you
59:14I love you
59:14And I love you
59:14I love you
59:15I love you
Be the first to comment